#onsshipsweek

“I only hate you a lot!” Shinya chirps that night, in the bed they have to share, and all Guren notices is the tone he says it in—aggravating but cheerful enough to seem teasing to anyone spying.

“Trust me, husband, when I say I love you as much as you love me.”

“How kind.”

Guren’s birthday hypothetically passes without much fanfare, as the Hiragis didn’t think it was for another four months.

He had planned to spend the day signing legal papers and stoically dealing with Shinya’s bullying and passive aggressive remarks, so of course he’s woken by loud horns, blaring streamers, and Sayuri quite literally jumping onto him.

“Happy birthday!” she chimes, practically screaming into his ear, but Guren has a hard time focusing on that when Sayuri is digging into his stomach and it’s a bit hard to breath.

“Isn’t this great?” Shinya drawls, eyes glinting, clearly not happy to have been fooled. He does, however, look amused at Guren’s plight. “Now we can all celebrate your birthday together, dear.”

Oh, fuck you, Guren thinks, but out loud he only replies

“Well, sweetie, I don’t think the day part of today starts for another couple of hours.”

“It’s eight in the morning,” Shigure informs him, pleasing Guren slightly with the way Shinya jumps at her sudden appearance. “We thought letting you sleep in would be for the best.”

Affection curls in his chest, so he focuses on Shinya’s smug, irritating grin to force himself to frown.

“You should be working on your training,” he admonishes, but his voice comes out happy despite it. Shinya’s blinks, the glinting in his eyes fading.

“We would never miss your birthday!” Sayuri exclaims, hand darting to her chest. Guren glances away politely and says,

“Well, would you mind getting off me? I am a married man after all.”

“In an arranged marriage,” Shigure says softly, eyes narrowed.

“Married’s married,” Guren waves away. Sayuri doesn’t get off but she does flop down, stretching over the comforter like a cat.

“We bought a cake!” she interrupted, a large toothy smile on her face, but Guren’s known her long enough to know she’s trying to prevent a fight.

“We bought two cakes,” Shigure corrects. “And we cooked one.”

“. . . Thanks,” Guren mumbles, resolutely not looking at Shinya, who’s leaning against the doorframe with a thoughtful look on his face. He walks to the dining room and he can feel Shinya boring holes into his back as he goes.

“So you do have redeeming qualities,” Shinya says, later when the lights are dim and people couldn’t hear them. Shinya still doesn’t drop the fake smile.

“Sure,” he says noncomittially. “But the jury’s still out on you.”

“Maybe when it’s my birthday you’ll meet my friends and have a huuuuge epiphany where you realize I’m the perfect human being.”

“Doubtful,” Guren deadpans. “Who even are your friends? Actual friends, not political connections.”

There’s a pause, which was expected. And then Shinya answers, which wasn’t.

“Mito Jujo,” he offers, “and Norito Goshi. They’re good people.” Another pause. His voice was softer now. “You’re friends seemed like good people too.”

“They are,” Guren confirms, and can’t keep the affection from his voice.

Guren finds a magazine that claimed to have inside details about the deteriorating relationship between the Hiragi and Ichinose, so he snarks and insults the author in the margins. Then he leaves it on Shinya’s pillow, thinking he would be amused by it.

The next day Guren puts on his clothes and pauses when he realizes the material doesn’t scratch at his skin.

The next few months pass agreeably, which Shinya’s bullying turning more teasing and kindhearted than cruel. Guren stops trying to make him look like an ignoramus in front of his adopted family.

Then one day Shinya laughs, not that fake laugh he uses for politics or the cruel one he uses when he’s insulting someone. No, it’s a true laugh, one that brightens his eyes and makes his whole face light up with happiness and Guren’s heart does funny things in his chest.

Shit, he thinks.

“I never hated you,” Shinya admits one night. “Just the idea of you—the person I was forced to be together with and love. I hated it.”

“I hated you,” Guren replied honestly, heart thumping, thinking of lilac hair that didn’t seem to shine quite as much anymore. “But not because of who you are. I just hated that you weren’t someone else.”

Shinya doesn’t reply, and when Guren looks over his eyes are closed. It might be a lie, but if it is Guren lets him have it.

Guren leans back and let’s himself fall.

Shinya’s past comes out, a horror story of experimentation and children murder and shattering innocence.

More importantly, Shinya is whimpering, sobbing, and still smiling like somehow it’ll distract Guren from everything else.

Shit, Guren thinks, heart thumping a bit. He replies,

“Geez what a kid. Crying over such a cliché story.” Guren doesn’t look at Shinya when he says it, but he tears off the blanket hanging on the back of the couch and throws it at him. “Grow up, baby.”

“Your actions don’t match up with your words, ya know?” Shinya teases, leaning back a bit. Unlike Guren he’s not scared of eye contact, and a small spark of rivalry makes Guren glance back—only to get lost in blue eyes and regret it all of a sudden.

Shinya, blinking slowly as a smile crawls over his tear stained face, unfolds the blanket without breaking eye contact and throws it over both of them.

“Here,” he announces, leaning in. Guren refuses to move back out of sheer stubbornness, and he can feel Shinya’s eyelashes on his check. “Now we can share, hmm?”

(Maybe he stayed still out of more than a rivalry.)

They fall asleep like that.

Guren’s heart keeps up its stupid gymnastic routine every time Shinya walks into a room, and eventually Guren decides enough is enough. He steps in front of Shinya, stares him in the eyes, and tries to force Shinya to understand without saying a word.

“Yeeeess?” Shinya asks, clearly wondering why Guren had stopped him in the middle of the hallway.

“I love you,” Guren forces out, voice a bit stunted.

“What about Mahiru?” Shinya asks, frozen, chilled. It shouldn’t surprise Guren that he knows her name, that he knows their past, but it does.

“What about her?” Guren asks, and Shinya’s eyes narrow, so he adds, “I haven’t seen her for almost 15 years. I’m not pathetic, you know.” I’m not in love with her anymore, you know?

“You’re a god damn dick,” Shinya tells him, the faux innocence and joy for once gone from his voice. A second later he grabs Guren’s shirt and kisses him fiercely.

“Fucking finally,” Mito says from the couch.

“That’s only been coming for forever,” Norito adds.

“Congratulations, Master Guren!” Sayuri chirps, and Shigure nods beside her. Guren flips them all off. His hand falls quickly, as he’s still kissing Shinya and it makes it hard to concentrate on other things.