#omeliadrabbles

Chapter One

I wake to muffled cries. A quick glance at Emmy’s monitor reveals it’s not coming from her. Our sweet baby girl has been sleeping through the night for the past month much to her brother’s relief as their bedrooms are adjacent. I briefly rub the sleep from my eyes and realize the distressed sounds is Owen. He’s laying on his stomach but I can see his frightened face contorted with anxiety. Beads of sweat from his forehead blend in with the tears that escape from his tightly shut eyes. I sit up and start to gently shake him awake, afraid of what he’s dreaming of. Owen doesn’t take too long to jolt awake and sit straight up in record timing. His blue eyes dart back and forth and he’s breathless. I reach out and stroke his face that is sticky from sweat.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.” I try my best to soothe him. It takes Owen a little bit to be able to form words.

“Bad dream. I’m fine. Go back to sleep please.”

I softly smile at him and squeeze his hand. His T-shirt clings to his body from how much he was sweating.

“I can’t go back to sleep until I know you’re okay so why don’t you tell me what all of that was about?”

“I can’t talk about it, Amelia. It’s scary and traumatic. I don’t want to go there, especially not with you. I couldn’t take it if you started to think of me the way others have.”

I raise my eyebrows, feeling taken back. There is only one thing he has remained tight lipped about — his time in the army.

“Owen, I’m your wife. The wife that has had her fair share of dark and scary things. I can’t help you through it if I don’t know what is torturing you in your sleep. You married a recovering addict and alcoholic with chronic mommy and daddy issues. I have no room to judge.”

Owen peered over at the clock on his nightstand. It’s just after two in the morning.

“It’s late and we have a baby that will be up in a few hours. I swear I’ll be okay. I’m going to jump in the shower and rinse off really quick. I feel disgusting.”

“Owen, please just tell me what it was about. I can handle whatever it is.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily.

“Drop it for Christ’s sake. I don’t need to talk about it. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

My stomach started to form knots so I just gave his hand another squeeze.

“Okay, I’ll change the sheets then come check on you.”

I watched him walk away while my heart sank. His normal 5’11” self from now looked similar to my 5’3” frame purely from how mentally exhausted he looked.

—————————————————————————

It’s not often that I have such vivid flashbacks to my time served in the army, especially not about the explosion. I’m not sure how much time has passed when Amelia comes in and starts the water. I only notice her briefly, unable to tear my eyes away from my reflection in the mirror. Sometimes it’s hard to see why Amelia is attracted to me when I look like I do right now. There’s huge bags under my eyes, skin abnormally pale, and my hair is slicked against my head from the sweat. Another moment or two passes by the time I feel my wife’s petite arms envelope my abdomen.

“Bath water is ready. I know you said you wanted a shower but I wanted to join you. It’ll also help you to soak your tense muscles.”

I couldn’t keep a sheepish smile from escaping.

“Amelia, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you but I sure am glad I have you. I didn’t mean to be so curt with you earlier. It’s hard.”

Her small hands cupped my face and she pulled me in for a soft kiss which I happily reciprocated. Things didn’t seem to be so bad when she was by my side.

“I just want you to be okay. Leo, Emma, and I need you here both mentally and physically.”

I kissed her again and let my lips linger against hers.

“I’m right here. You and the kids can’t get rid of me that easy.”

She pulls me by the hand over to the tub and takes her own sleep shirt off while I peel my sweat drenched T-shirt and pajama pants off. She gets in first and ushers me to get in front her which is different for us. Usually she curls up in my arms but I’m happy to have her hold me for once. If only I could protect her from the horrors of my past.

—————————————————————————

Owen didn’t say much in the bathtub but it was still nice to just have him lay there with me. It’s not too often we get so much one on one time with each other because Leo or Emma needs one or both of us.

Once we were dried off and back in our freshly made bed, I pulled him to me and let him rest his head on my chest. His ginger curls still damp from the water smelt like his lemon and sandalwood soap.

“Owen, please remember you can tell me anything. I just want to know what scared you so much.”

He sighed heavily but tightened his arms around me.

“It’s not easy for me to talk about… I don’t want it to change what you think about me. It’s not a light story.”

“I figured as much. There isn’t anything you could tell me that would change what I think about you. I love you. You’re my husband and my smoking hot baby daddy.”

Owen let out a sarcastic chuckle which made me giggle. At least I could still get him to smile even when he’s not wanting to.

“I love you more… Now I’m going to tell you this one time and I really don’t want to elaborate on it… We were on a convoy and hit an IED. I wasn’t hurt too badly but everyone else was subsequently killed. Dan Mooney, who served with me as Colonel, initially lived but his injures were too severe and he succumbed to his injuries only after I had to say a Hail Mary with him and he forced me to take my hand off of the wound on his neck. He bled out right before I was rescued by a helicopter. Now I live my life with immense survivor’s guilt. When I nearly choked Cristina to death, that was because I was triggered merely by the blades on our ceiling fan. Callie Torres was actually the one that got me off of her. I haven’t forgiven myself for that.”

His entire body went rigid as he explained the details which just broke my heart. He had been through so much at Grey Sloan without everything that occurred during his time served.

“You know… whatever higher being out there wanted to keep you alive for a reason. Now look at your life. You’re married to a brilliant neurosurgeon, a father to a five year old son and six month old daughter, head of trauma surgery, and we own a beautiful house and both of our vehicles.”

“I know we’ve been very rich in that sense but it doesn’t make what happened to my platoon okay. My own mother didn’t know I was home from the army for the longest time… Who I was then is different from who I am now. The army changed me overnight.”

I softly kissed the top of his head and wished that I could protect him from the world much like we try to protect Leo and Emma.

“I love who you are now. Your journey makes you who you are. You’re not a bad man, Owen. It’s nothing you could’ve controlled. You weren’t driving and no one knew there would be an IED right in the path. You did what you could with the resources you had in the time that you had.”

Owen looked up at me with huge, watery eyes. I held him as close to me as I could. His facial expression reminded me of Leo’s when he’s in time out.

“Mia, there are times where the pain seems unfathomable. When I get flashbacks or have night terrors, everything feels so raw and recent. How am I supposed to be strong for you and the kids?”

“That’s the thing, my love. You don’t always have to be the strong one. I’ve had my fair share of hard things. We are equals. You’re strong when I can’t be so I can do the same for you.”

Owen’s shaky hand reached up to caress my cheek.

“You are a saint. Let’s try to get some sleep before Emmy needs to nurse again. Just feeling you in the bed helps me feel safe.”

Seattle was carrying on its stereotypical behavior with the nonstop rain. Owen hated having to drive in torrential downpour so late at night but another day at work got away from him with a steady flow of traumas. By the time he parked in the driveway, the clock on his dashboard read 10:28. Maybe his wife would still be up to see him. 

With his keys and bag hung up on the hooks by the front door, Owen quietly walked through the entryway and into their living room to see what Amelia was up to. Part of him was disappointed to see she was asleep but he couldn’t help but smile when he saw baby Abel still latched to his mother’s breast, both of them contently asleep. He was a miracle no doubt. Born with Down Syndrome and ASD, he had undergone heart surgery at 4 days old to correct the hole in his heart. However he flatlined twice during the procedure which shook the Hunt family to their core. 

In typical Grey-Sloan surgeon fashion, Amelia and Owen had been up in the surgical theater watching as none other than Sam Bennett operated on their newborn so they witnessed their son come back from the brink of death twice. Amelia decided right then that she would be taking an extended maternity leave. Abel would be immunocompromised more than typical babies with his heart issues, and he already had 2 school aged siblings and 2 parents that worked inside a hospital to provide plenty germs. Owen on the other hand was so bothered by what happened, he didn’t want to think about it ever again. In return, he buried himself in work so he hadn’t been home much the past month other than his one off day he’d take. 

When Owen leaned in to unlatch Abel to move him to the bassinet in their bedroom, he took a moment to admire Amelia’s beauty. However the longer he looked, the more he noticed. Her cheek bones were more prominent, her collarbone was even more noticeable, and even her ring looked a bit loose on her finger. She was already a petite woman so her apparent weight loss didn’t sit right with Owen. 

He quickly moved Abel off of Amelia which only startled her awake. 

“What the hell?”

“It’s just me. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“He was sleeping. We were fine.”

“I know but you can’t sleep in the recliner all night. Let’s go to bed. It’s coming close to 11 o clock.”

Amelia was definitely drowsy but was happy to settle in their bed. She wasn’t used to Owen being around anymore. They hadn’t really discussed it which in the long run would only worsen whatever riff they had, but she didn’t know what to say to him anymore. He just wasn’t around. Instead of focusing solely on their newborn son, she also had to split herself for the older three. Flynn had baseball and Bella was in gymnastics. Between two school kids, their sports, a very clingy one and a half year old, and their specially abled baby, both of which she was still nursing, there was no time for herself. She didn’t have Owen around to help offset the heavy load that was their life and honestly she didn’t have it in herself to fight with him about it. Amelia was spread as thin as possible and it showed. The house wasn’t trashed, but it was messier than they usually kept it. She felt that if she could keep the four kids alive, fed, and on time for school and sports each day, that was enough. Anything else could wait for another day. 

“Well, good night. I hope the kids behaved for you.”

Amelia hugged into her pillow and not Owen like she normally liked to. 

“They were great. Flynn and Bella are great helpers. He has a baseball game tomorrow at noon but don’t worry, he already knows Dad will probably be at work. Bella mastered her back handspring tonight so she’s really excited about that. Rosie is cutting all four molars at the same time so she is miserable.”

“What about Abe?”

“He’s good. He’s as strong as ever. Not at all scary.”

Owen shook his head at the very intentional dig she threw at him. While she didn’t care to argue, she would make it known how much she hated that he willingly chose to stay away. 

“I’m not scared of my own son, Amelia.”

“Really? When was the last time you held him for more than 5 minutes? I mean hold him just to admire him, not just because I need to brush my teeth and hair. They’re only a baby once.”

“I saw the monitor both times his heart stopped. It haunts me. I’ve doubted my ability as a parent ever since that day. I wish I could forget that that happened, but I can’t. Instead I save lives. I focus on that.”

“I was there too! You weren’t the only one. Ya know, I would’ve never done what you did. Then again, I was never given that option. You have three other kids too. They miss their dad. Sam knew what he was doing in the surgery too. Abel is strong and he made it. We clearly aren’t on the same page but just know I’m done covering you with the kids. Flynn and Bella are both old enough to understand what is going on. They will remember when you weren’t around. If you can live with yourself knowing that, okay. I am so exhausted day in and day out. So do what you want but they know Dad has no true reason to always be gone.”

Not another single word was spoken from either of them. Owen didn’t like knowing how much he was impacting his kids. Apparently he hadn’t thought too much into it until now. 

.

Amelia was woken up just after 8 a.m by Bellamy climbing in bed with her. 

“Mama, Daddy is cooking pancakes and bacon for breakfast. Flynn is helping squeeze oranges for orange juice. Daddy put Rosie in her highchair with some banana and the baby is sleeping.”

“Oh thank you for coming to see me. Good morning my sweets.”

“Daddy isn’t working today?”

“It’s supposed to be his weekend off so he shouldn’t...”

Bellamy’s face lit up but Amelia didn’t want her to be disappointed in case he elected to go in.

“... but if he gets paged, then he will have no choice but to go. Mama and Daddy save lives.”

“And if you and Daddy are here, there are people that may not make it.”

“Yes but we love you all the same.”

Bellamy curled up to her mom’s side, basking in the rare moment of being the only one with Amelia. 

“Mama, can we do something fun today? Like going to the aquarium? I want to see the otters again like we did on my field trip.”

Amelia kissed the top of her daughter’s head, taking a second to breathe in the sweet scent of Bella’s strawberry shampoo. 

“Your brother has a baseball game at noon but we can go tomorrow if everyone behaves today. Do you still want to spend the night with Uncle Andrew and Aunt Maggie?”

“Yes please! They let me help give Emma and Evan their baths at night. It’s so much fun. Will Daddy come to the aquarium on Sunday?”

“I don’t know, sweets. You’d have to ask him.” Amelia laid there a little bit long with her oldest daughter until she heard her youngest start to fuss on his baby monitor.

“Bella, go see Dad. I’m going to feed Abel then I’ll come eat breakfast with everyone.” “Okay mommy! I love you very much.”

“Love you too sweet girl.”

.

By the time the older kids were dropped off with their aunt, uncle, and twin one year old cousins by Owen, Amelia had Rosalie and Abel nursed to sleep for their mid-afternoon naps. Shockingly he had been at home with her and the kids all morning and afternoon. Now she was uncertain of what to do. Amelia wasn’t used to his undivided attention since typically the kids were running circles around them or the whole house was asleep by the time Owen got home at night.

Owen carefully sat down beside Amelia on the couch. “Babe, can we talk about last night?”

“What about it?”

Owen ran his fingers through his tousled curls. This wasn’t going to be easy for him but he could only blame himself.

“There’s no excuse for my absence. I have let my wife down and all of my kids. Sorry won’t suffice, I know. I am just going to work on being here. Seeing you last night with Abel still latched onto you and you both fully asleep, looking like a pair of angels, I noticed you have even lost enough weight for your wedding rings to not fit properly anymore. If there’s no one here to help you, you won’t have time to get proper rest or eat meals that isn’t pb&j and goldfish. That’s my fault and I hate myself for it. I have two weeks left of paternity leave that I haven’t used since I went back to work 2 weeks after Abe was born. I called Bailey on the drive home to let her know I’m using those two weeks effective tomorrow.”

“But why? You have been so happy since you went back to work…”

“Absolutely not. I’ve just kept busy. I let my entire family down and now I need to redeem myself. I love you so much Amelia. I love you, Flynn, Bella, Rosie, and baby Abel more than anything. I’m also going to make sure to bond with Abel has much as I can these next two weeks.”

Owen finished his long winded statement to see Amelia’s eyes filled with tears. “Owen, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say something like that.”

She hugged into his side and was happy to have him with her now. “It’s true. I promise. I’ll be right here with you. I’m all yours for two weeks straight.” “I love you. This doesn’t fix everything but it’s a good start.”

Ch. 1

Super short intro chapter but it sets up the rest. I’m excited about where this story will go and I’d LOVE some feedback. Enjoy!

.

As much clarity as Amelia felt (or thought she felt), she also needed closure. Her past fueled so much of her pain, reluctance to love, and failure of commitment.

Things were hard between her and Owen. There is that corny saying that nothing worth having comes easy. But was that the truth? If it was, their relationship was definitely worth it because it had yet to come easy.

“Amelia? What are you doing? It’s cold out here.”

Owen must have spotted her pacing on his front porch.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

He knew her better than anyone and could tell she was stuck inside her head and trying to not panic.

“Please Amelia, come inside. I can light the fireplace. You had to have come here for a reason.” Owen said, running his fingers through his gingery locks.

She blindly followed him inside as if her body was on auto pilot and found herself sitting right on the hearth of the fireplace.

“I can’t let you sign those papers alone. I know we’ve been so indecisive, maybe it was just me... There was truth to what you said earlier. About me being fundamentally incapable of love and being loved.” She was rambling at the same time he thought she was going to bite all of her fingernails off.

“Amelia, that was said in the heat of the moment. I didn’t really mean that.”

“But you weren’t wrong. I’m incapable because I’m petrified. I’ve lost my dad, my best friend, my brother, Mark, Ryan, and even my own baby. The people I have loved most in this world have died and it was always unbearable. But then I thought about letting you and Leo go out of my life and that’s unfathomable. You are you, Owen. You seem to be my best friend and my worst enemy wrapped in one — I mean that lovingly. Leo is ours. I know we said you’d raise Leo and I’ll raise Betty or Britney, whoever the hell she is today... She’s gone back home and we’ve been raising Leo together all along. That maternal pull I felt with Christopher is exactly what I feel with Leo. I can’t let him go. I don’t want to be Auntie Amelia. I want to be Mama.” Amelia inhaled deeply, clearly winded from her monologue.

“Amelia, I still want you. That hasn’t changed and it won’t change. We can be together.”

“It’s not that simple. We have some big issues that need to be worked out. In order to reach that point, I need you to do me a huge favor.”

Owen grabbed onto Amelia’s hand and planted a soft kiss on top of it.

“Anything Amelia. You know that.”

She peered up at Owen with her watering bright blue eyes that seems a little dull. She really was struggling here.

“I know it sounds crazy but it’s how I’m going to be able to move on and how we will be able to give it another shot... I need us to go to New York. I just need to see my mom and show her that I’m clean. That I’m doing okay and that I’m with you and I’m safe and that we have a son. I need to see the man who shot and killed my father. One is dead, the other is still in prison. I’ve kept up loosely. I want to see my father’s headstone. The last time I saw it was during his funeral. It was always too hard after that. Then I need to go to L.A. I need to go to Ryan and Christopher’s graves. That’s important to me. And then I want to go to Derek’s grave and even put some flowers on Mark’s grave. Only then will I feel ready to let go a little bit and we can work on us. We will need to see a counselor and keep Leo’s best interest in mind.”

There was so much going through Owen’s mind but he knew he had to answer quickly or she’d get flighty again. She was wanting to do a lot in seemingly a small amount of time and she actually wanted him to go with her. That was more progress than he ever expected her to make within 24 hours.

“Okay. I’m in. It’s important Leo meets his other grandma and that you can find peace. I’ll be there to support you in any way that I can. When would we go?”

“Tomorrow. We would fly out at lunch time. We will only be out of work 6 days. Three in New York, two in California, and one day at home to rest. By rest, I mean we’d decide on a counselor together and figure out everything else with Leo.”

He couldn’t believe that he was agreeing to this but he didn’t want to lose Amelia ever again.

Ch. 3

Another short chapter which seems to be a theme but whatever. Would love feedback and reblogs if you feel up to it. 💜

Their first full day in New York started with an amazing breakfast courtesy of room service. Brooklyn was definitely winning them over by her loyal and attentive personality, but also especially since she offered to watch Leo while they went down to the prison. It wasn’t something Amelia was looking forward to by any means, but it was necessary for her to get the clarity and closure she sought out.

Amelia and Owen walked hand in hand once they got through the prison’s security. Owen could feel her petite hand trembling inside of his. No one had ever gone to meet Christopher Shepherd’s killer.

“Inmate 36078, your visitors are here.”

An old man around 65-70 years old slowly made his way to the visitation table Owen and Amelia were seated at.

“Hi, I’m Dr.—”

“I know exactly who you are. I’m Walt. You have that same scared look you did that awful day all those years ago.”

“28 years ago.”

The old man rubbed his scruffy face with hands shakier than Amelia’s.

“28 years and 47 days… No words will ever bring back who was stolen from you. Just know there hasn’t been a single day that has passed that I haven’t thought about that day and what my buddy and I did. I still have nightmares about it so I can only imagine what you went through. Where is your brother?”

Owen sat up a little straighter and fixated his gaze upon Amelia. This conversation even made his heart ache.

“Derek died. I’m not here to talk about him. To be honest, I had this idea that I’d come in here, grilling you with questions and accusations… None of that matters because I only have one thing I want to know. Why did you do it?”

Walt turned his head to each side to crack his neck before he answered. This wasn’t easy for anyone.

“I was young and stupid. I got involved with the wrong crowd. I met Davey when we were trying to get into the same gang. The task we had that included your father was our initiation task. It was despicable. I’ll never ask for your forgiveness either. I know it is something neither of us will ever forget.”

The shift in Amelia’s demeanor genuinely surprised Owen. She extended her hand to shake Walt’s hand.

“I forgive you because the rest of my shitty family refuses to and because my father would have forgiven you. Take care, Walt.”

The couple walked outside of the prison and back to their car. Amelia looked over at Owen and gave him one of her dimpled smiles.

“You’re happy?”

“It went a lot better than I thought and I can tell he truly is remorseful. I am happy because after all this time I was able to look one of my father’s killers in the eyes and not cry. The sight of him didn’t make me crave a fix.”

“I am so proud of you. See? I told you that you’re the strongest person I know. Today only proves that. Off to the florist?”

“Yes. I need to get some flowers to leave there… Then maybe we can do something with Brooklyn and Leo that isn’t so heavy on the heart.”

Amelia was touched when Owen got out of the car and helped her wipe the moss and mowed grass off the headstone. Then she took her time delicately placing each flower in a gorgeous arrangement around his grave.

“Daddy, this is Owen. He’s the only one on team Hurricane since you and Derek passed. I know I haven’t come to see you. I’m sorry. I’m finally someone you can be proud of. I see so much of you in Derek’s baby Ellis. He didn’t even get to meet her before he passed but she’s a female Derek which means she’s definitely your grandkid. Even Leo who isn’t biological related to you has your spunky personality. He must get that from me. Anyways, I just wanted to come say hi. I hope you love my family as much as I do. You’d love Owen. Our journey hasn’t been easy but he loves me in every way a person should love their significant other. So I’m going to stop running. I’m going to stop fighting him about loving me. In return, I am going to love him. I already love him probably more than anyone I ever have. Take care of my son Christopher for me so I can be the best mom to Leo that I can. I won’t wait 28 years to come back. I still miss you and love you more than words. Bye Dad.”

Amelia took one last look at the headstone and started to walk back to the car.

“Are you okay, babe?”

“I’m fine. I’m ready to go back to the hotel. I want to nap for an hour or so.”

“Me too. You did great this morning.”

“Thank you. I am so glad we were able to come here. Thank you for coming with me.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it. Oh, and Amelia?”

“Yeah.”

Another request from the beautiful @sheperdessamelia! 💜 I hope you enjoy this (and the small smut teasing)!

A– O 68: This isn’t what it looks like

O – A 67: If you don’t want to talk about it, then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.

A – O 74: You’ve shown me what love can feel like.

A – O 75: You make me feel alive.

——————————————————————————

Sleep. All Owen wanted was some sleep before he had his next surgery. Leo kept him up all night since he was teething. Both Hunt boys were miserable and exhausted. Owen decided to make his way to the on call room at the end of a rather empty hall. It wasn’t their on call room, but it would work.

Owen pushed down on the handle only to see Link on top of Amelia. She had her scrub top still on and Link was mostly dressed besides his pants pulled down in the front.

“What the fuck?”

Amelia immediately made eye contact with Owen and he watched the color drain from his face.

“Owen! This isn’t what it looks like.”

“It definitely looks like you’re screwing him. Next time you plan on hooking up with some guy, at least lock the damn door.”

And just like that, Owen was gone.

Nearly an hour had passed since he had unfortunately walked in on the woman he loved with another man. Just the thought of someone else inside of her made his stomach churn. He was angry. He was hurt. He wanted to bite Link’s head off at the same time he wanted to find Amelia, go to their on call room, and show her again and again just how much he loved her and craved her. He was paged 911 to the neuro floor, specifically “Shepherd, A. office”. She was supposed to take Leo for the night so when he was paged 911, he assumed the worst and took off in a sprint. Never mind the elevator, he effortlessly ran up 6 flights of stairs and came barging into her office.

“What happened? Is he okay?”

Amelia looked up at him from her desk and let out a small smile.

“Yes, Leo is still in daycare. I just visited him and gave him some more Tylenol. I needed to see you.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Abusing your page… You were just in bed with another man so clearly you don’t need me.”

Amelia was taken back by his words. They weren’t typically a couple that swore at one another—not that they were currently a couple.

“I’m sorry Owen. I hate that you had to see that.”

“Me too. It’s disgusting.”

“Okay hey, I didn’t act like this when I interrupted you, Carina, and the French toast.”

He shifted to the small couch and put his head in his hands.

“Why did you do it?”

She surely wasn’t expecting to have to answer a question like that. She had so many reasons yet no reason. Amelia acted off impulse at the conference and it continued sporadically since being back. She didn’t know what to say. Any of her answers wouldn’t have sufficed. Owen wasn’t shy about letting out a rather loud sigh/growl.

“Fine then, Amelia. If you don’t want to talk about it, then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t. You paged me here but now you have no words.”

The same tears that had spilled on and off since she broke things off with Owen were starting to flow again.

“I wanted to see you because you’ve shown me what love can feel like. I miss you, Owen. I left you but that doesn’t mean it hurts me any less. Maggie has Jackson, Meredith has Andrew, and I have no one. I feel like I’m an empty shell. I don’t feel like a superhero anymore. I just feel incomplete. When you walked in earlier, for the first time in a long time, I felt something. You make me feel alive. I can’t change the past. I can’t go back in time and make you treat me better when we were going through all the drama we were between Teddy, Betty, and Leo. You shoved me onto the back burner and that’s what hurts the most. Link was a distraction. The only one I want is you.”

Owen looked up and saw how desperate and scared she looked. They were both overwhelmed by how vulnerable they felt. He needed her as much as she wanted him — and he meant that in every way.

“I reacted that way because he wasn’t me. I hate the thought of you with another man. I know that is extremely hypocritical but it’s how I feel. He doesn’t know you how I do. He doesn’t know how you like your hips to be grabbed onto when I thrust in and out of you... Or how you arch your back when I have three fingers inside you when I’m teasing your clit...”

Amelia began to squirm in her seat. He was only this sultry with her and it made her melt.

“Owen... Please. I need you.”

“C’mere then.”

She walked over and made direct eye contact while she locked her office door then briefly stood in front of where he was standing. Before she could even blink, Owen had her pulled onto his lap, stripping her of her scrub top and bra. He knew she was turned on by how pert her nipples were in between his thumbs and index fingers. It was only matched by his raging hard on.

“Please Owen... I can’t take it.”

Owen kissed away her fallen tears then turned to lay her down on the couch and pull off her pants and underwear. He quickly rid himself of his scrubs and positioned his erect cock in between her legs, just barely brushing against her swollen clit. Foreplay wasn’t always a necessity when it came to Owen and Amelia because they were so in tune and attracted to one another.

“I’ll show you what real love actually feels like... Are you ready?”

Ch. 2

Amelia drove Owen to the airport so that she could tell him goodbye without the kids needing their attention. Ten days. He’d only be gone 10 days. She could make it with 3 under 3 for that long, right? Single parents do it for years. Plus Andrew Deluca would be staying at the house with them so she wouldn’t really be alone. Deluca was her favorite colleague, one of her best friends, and like a younger brother to her. They named their second son Luca in his honor. She’d make it through the 10 days just fine.

“Okay, text me as soon as you land and FaceTime me and the kids once you get checked in at the hotel.”

“I will babe. Keep me updated on how things are going. If anything happens I’m just one call and one flight away.”

“I know. It’s gonna be okay. Just think of the reuniting sex we will have when you come home.”

Owen’s cheeks flushed crimson just at the thought of that but he was interrupted by the intercom doing the last boarding call for his flight.

“That’s my cue. I love you and you’re beautiful. Take good care of our babies.”

“I will. I love you too. Have fun and learn a lot. Be safe.”

“Will do.”

With one last hug and kiss, Owen walked down the terminal and was on board his flight.

.

It was just after they finished dinner by the time Owen FaceTimed Amelia.

“Hey you. It’s been a while.”

“I know. I checked in then they had this meeting we had to be in. They catered food too so it took a while. I’m just now relaxing in the hotel room.”

“Well we just finished dinner. Andrew made spaghetti and meatballs.”

“Oh, he’s not working?”

“No. Don’t you remember? He was at the house with the kids so that I could drop you off. I make his schedule anyways. Say hi!”

Amelia turned the phone away from her to show Deluca holding Lyla while the boys played on the floor.

“Hey Deluca, what’s up?”

“Just hanging out with this cute little lady. Don’t have too much fun in Utah.”

“Yeah. No girls in your room after dark.”

The camera was back on her and she internally cringed when she saw his unamused facial expression.

“Amelia, that’s not funny. You know there’s not going to be anyone in my room.”

“It was a joke, Owen. Do you feel okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine. Tired.”

“I can call you back tonight when the kids are bathed and in bed, okay? Get some rest. I love you.”

“Love you too. Give the babies an extra hug and kiss for me. Talk to you later.”

The FaceTime call was disconnected at the same time she tossed her phone down with a little more force than she intended.

“You okay, Shep?”

“Yeah. I can tell when something’s wrong with him and it bothers me when he just says that he’s fine. Anyways, will you mind sitting with the boys while they’re in the bath so that I can get together their pajamas and diapers?”

“Not a problem. I’m here to help.”

.

The house was quiet. All three kids were asleep in their cribs, Deluca retreated to the spare room, so Amelia decided she’d get into her pajamas and lay in her own bed. It was so weird without Owen beside her. It was as if their bed tripled in size.

Amelia decided to call and see if he was still awake. Utah was only one hour ahead of Washington so there was a decent chance they could chat.

The phone rang three times before he answered. By the rasp in his voice, she knew he had been asleep.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You’re fine. Everything ok?”

“Babies are asleep. Deluca is in his room. I’m laying on our bed being sad it’s so empty.”

“Yeah. It’s weird here too. I’m not a fan of sleeping alone anymore I guess. Got used to a beautiful woman to wake up to.”

“What am I gonna do without morning sex?”

“Same thing I’ll do. Handle it myself. Literally.”

Even states away, he could make her blush like none other.

“I’ll let you know how that works out for me. I’ll let you get back to sleep. Just text me whenever you have a free minute. Good night O.”

Ch. 4

Owen rolled over in bed expecting to find his wife and daughter asleep in the other bed yet no one was there. The bed was made and her suitcase and the stroller were gone. It was only 8 a.m. How early did she leave? Immediately Owen picked up the phone to call her.

“What do you want Owen? We are about to board the plane.”

“Amelia. Please. I don’t want to fight. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“It seems like you thought it out pretty well. People don’t just wake up in the morning and say ‘Today seems like a great day to get a vasectomy! Let me see if my doctor is available.’... So you got this done yet you weren’t even sure you were going to go to Utah... Maybe that was a lie too and you knew you were going all along.”

“I was on the fence much like I was the vasectomy. But I made the decision to go which lead me to just go ahead and get the procedure done.”

Owen wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He screwed up big time.

“Without discussing it with me.”

“It’s my body. I don’t need your consent to have something done to my own body.”

“Okay Owen. I’m boarding now. I’ll see you when you get home tomorrow, if you do decide to come home. You may be on the fence with that too.”

.

Amelia felt betrayed. She was so angry yet her head seemed clear. Her husband didn’t want any more kids yet she was already pregnant with their fourth. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal had he told her he was going to do it. They hadn’t reached that point yet in their family, or so she thought.

The kids, Deluca, and Amelia had just sat down at the dinner table with the pizza they ordered when Owen came through the front door.

“Daddy!”

“Dada!”

Both of their boys were so excited to see him so he came over to their high chairs to give each boy a hug and kiss.

“I missed you boys so much. Were you good for Mama and Uncle Luc when I was gone?”

“Yes Daddy. We pwayed in daycare and pwayed at da park a wot!”

“I’m so glad. Why don’t you two eat your pizza with Uncle Luc so Mama and I can talk?”

“Ok! We eat it aww gone?”

“Yep, eat all your pizza, please Leo.”

“Ok Daddy!”

Amelia wasn’t budging from her seat. She already felt like she was on the verge of tears and she hated crying in front of Owen.

“Amelia... Please can we talk?”

“I don’t want to talk. Everything is fine.”

“Everything isn’t fine. Please Mia.”

She glanced at Deluca who had his eyes fixated on his plate. She filled him in on everything but he knew to stay out of it.

“Fine.”

.

They sat on the bench outside on their front porch so that the kids wouldn’t overhear what they were talking about.

“Amelia, I am sorry that I hurt you. I never meant to do that.”

“You don’t want the baby, so fine. As the male you have the option to just not want it. But the baby is growing inside of me. I don’t get the luxury of just deciding one way or another. So this baby will be just mine. Your name doesn’t have to be on the birth certificate.”

“Amelia, that’s absurd. Just because I didn’t know about it, just because I got a vasectomy, doesn’t mean I don’t want it.”

“That is basically exactly what it means! Getting a vasectomy without even telling your wife definitely sends the message that you don’t want more kids.”

“If it’s that big of a deal, I’ll get it reversed.”

“Don’t bother. Because of my history with preeclampsia, they’re going to do another c-section because it’s too high risk to deliver naturally especially since I can’t have painkillers. When they have me open, they’re going to tie my tubes and Avery is going to remove the scar tissue so that I can heal right. Four is a good number for kids. I’m over this topic.”

Owen tried to hold her hand but she was quick to pull away.

“Amelia, please.”

“No. Please yourself Owen. Everything has changed. I can’t describe what I’m feeling right now but it doesn’t feel good. Owen, I’m your wife. I am the mother of your children. It hurts to be left in the dark. It hurts to feel like you didn’t trust me or didn’t want to discuss something so important with me. I look at those beautiful boys sitting around the table and our gorgeous little girl napping upstairs, and it’s like heaven on earth. We were meant to be parents and we are. I even think we are pretty damn good parents. This fourth baby should be no different to us. They will be loved as much as Leo, Luca, and Lyla. At least by me.”

Owen wipes both her tears and his.

“By me too. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I wish I could take it back. I should’ve talked to you. I want this baby. I already love it so much. It may not seem like it, but I do. I was just trying to look out for you. It’s not easy watching you go through surgery after surgery, yearly like clockwork. I love our kids so much but I love you more. It’s been a lot on your body. I just want you to be safe and healthy.”

Amelia flung her arms around him and buried her face to cry into his chest. These hormones were no joke and she just wishes Utah never happened.

Owen held her closely and softly rubbed her back to soothe her the best he could.

Enjoy this one shot! What if Catherine’s surgery didn’t go exactly how was planned? TW: Mentions of alcohol relapse.

——————————————————————————

When Owen finally got home from work and dropping Leo off at Meredith’s house, all he wanted to do was relax with his wife. Yes, technically they were still divorced but their hearts were still married and always would be.

He twisted the key through the front door’s lock and made his way inside, instantly hanging up his jacket and truck keys before he even looked up. Amelia was sitting on the couch with a tall glass of red wine. Owen’s heart cinched and shattered at the same time. She relapsed. If only he had gotten home sooner, maybe he would’ve been able to prevent it.

“Amelia?”

She quickly waved her hand. Amelia clearly was not in the mood.

“You can yell at me and lecture me in the morning. For tonight, just sit down and have a drink with me please.”

Owen rubbed at the back of his neck and decided to just listen to what she told him to do. They sat in silence until both of their glasses were empty. Her dark, sullen eyes spoke all of the words needed. She was in a world of hurt and was depleted of all energy. Quite frankly she looked like she had been hit by a semi-truck.

Amelia finally stood and quietly placed the wine glasses in the sink.

“I’m gonna soak in the tub. Leo’s okay?”

“Yes he’s fine.”

When he heard the water start, Owen decided he should try to be there for her so he found his way to their bathroom. Amelia was already in the tub with the bubbles forming highly.

“Can I join you?”

“I don’t care.”

He felt almost shy to strip in front of her when she was like this. Although Owen did realize she wasn’t even looking. Amelia was staring blankly ahead.

The water felt wonderful on their aching muscles and Owen was happy she felt relaxed in his arms and against his body. However he still needed to know what happened.

“Babe... I just need to know. What caused you to drink?”

“I’ve failed Catherine... She’s paralyzed from the waist down. She won’t be able to stand or to walk ever again. Koracick and I were so damn careful and that still wasn’t enough. For Richard, Catherine, and Jackson now, I am a crappy surgeon. So I had one drink. I figured that would be better than oxy. I’m really tired, Owen. Please, let’s not fight.”

Owen planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

“There is no fight. Amelia, you still saved her life. Nearly all of the tumor is gone. You’ve extended her life expectancy regardless. Catherine Fox is going to adjust to her new life just like Nicole Herman did. You saved them. You’re not a crappy surgeon. You do the impossible.”

She was momentarily quiet while she soaked in his words. He did make her feel better but she was still tormented by all of the what ifs and just wanted to go to bed.

“I’m grateful you’re here. I really am. I know I screwed up by having a drink. I know you’re disappointed in me. But I just need this one night to be weak. I just want to go to bed.”

Owen shifted to pull the drain and get them out of the tub. Amelia quickly dried off and slipped on a tank top and a pair of panties. Then she slid under the covers while Owen put on his pajama pants. Instinct never failed them. Amelia tucked her face in the crook of his neck and nearly sighed with relief when he wrapped his strong arms around her petite body.

Amelia woke up the next morning to Owen carrying a tray of food in. Of course he knew she didn’t eat anything and as soon as she saw the omelet, orange slices, and bacon, her stomach growled with hunger.

“Morning babe. Eat this please.”

He didn’t have to tell her twice before she ravenously inhaled every bit of breakfast.

“Owen, I know you’re mad. I’m sorry I let you down.”

The tender smile that greeted her sad face made her heart swell.

“I’m not mad at you nor did you let me down. You slipped up. It happens. What matters most is that you can realize you were wrong and you can improve from here. However, I am taking you to a meeting whenever you’re dressed for the day. Afterwards we can pick Leo up.”

“I’m sorry I ruined our kid free night.”