#oldshit

What I want is for you to not know me anymore. For me to not know you and to not know your smile and to forget for just a few damn minutes. I want for my head to stop hurting. I just want peace of mind. I want my chest to stop re-breaking so that my heart can beat on it’s own. I need you to leave me and really fucking leave me. Because if you don’t I’ll be in denial that this is something when it is now nothing. I don’t feel like myself when you talk to me anymore. I am done being reminded that we still care about each other. I feel like I’m running away from me and my passion for understanding. You’re the only person who has stopped me from understanding why things happen for a reason because right now loosing your friendship makes me loose my insight. I know this is what I have to do to move on. So what I want is for you to understand that you mean too much to me to keep you in my grasp or in my thoughts. This is nothing anymore. It’s in the past. Today is new. What I want is the color blue to not hurt anymore. What I want is to send this but instead silence is the appropriate response. Because we are nothing now. I tried. But I am tired. We are both too will minded and too alike to be. I myself get that this will never leave my mind until I choose for you to leave my little world. So please what I want is for you to understand with me saying non of this because words are so temporary.