#oldlover

And that everything we've shared matters to you too

Or if what you feel for me is cold

2014.

Hearing you say that in my dream tore me apart, I know you’ll probably never love me again, you probably will never think about me, and I won’t ever be in your heart again... Is it over? Yes, but I don’t think I want it to end.. I just want to be your last first kiss... I’m happy you found love again, but I want to be the one loving you at night... You fucked me up, so bad! I can’t fucken love again because of you, you took my heart and abused it’s purity.. You hurt the only thing good about me. Tonight I listened to a song you liked and I passed by where you and I would sit... I couldn’t help but get the flashbacks of us. The person you are today is the person I would want to stay with. But writing this and thinking it makes me question if that’s truly what I want.. I can’t say we were always fine and dandy since we fought so much and you were verbally abusive with me. But we were just kids! We didn’t know better and we were so crazy about each other that it broke us. But it sucks you didn’t even want to give me a second chance three years later, I miss talking to you. I just want to see you and hear the rhythm of your voice tingle my ears. I need my closure and you won’t ever be brave enough to give me it. You left me to cry, you left me through text and you hurt me so bad, you hurt my heart, and you hurt my soul. I saw the milky way in your eyes, I saw the love burning throughout your ora.. I felt your warmth and you decided to leave me cold, blue,  hurt, and dead. I am now unable to ever love because of you... I deserve my closure! I deserve to see you.. I deserve to be able to love. I shouldn’t be sitting behind my computer screen tearing up about someone  I thought I stopped loving two years ago.. I dreamt about you and now I am mixed up about my feelings for you... I wonder if you dream of me sometimes, or I ever cross your mind, I probably don't but I wish I did. I just want you to feel the hurt. Who knows if you even feel hurt or it saddens you in the slightest bit. You’re happy now with a girl I’ll forever try to be because I am only a car girl. I want tattoos like her but we listen to the same music and we have similar interests, I’m just little old me. You burnt my leafs, but seasons change and I’ll grow new ones eventually. I was misguided but I see that I’m no better then her and I’ll have to accept that. I just wish you talked to me once in awhile, grabbed a coffee and just relaxed for a bit. I don’t bite, I just desperately want to see you. I’ve lost my heart and I need it back. So please, you have hers now give me mine so I could move on. You should be ashamed of yourself, I can’t feel love. I just want to love & get you away from my mind. We were old lovers.. That love will never leave me no matter how hard I try. 

PAUL SIMON

That feeling u get after seeing someone u love after so long...ya that just happened #coffeelover #coffeebeanandtealeaf #oldlover #betterthanstarbucks (at AEON MALL Tokoname)

With a bottle of Tanita, cigarettes, some old good music and a fear he is able to write again. Yes, he writes in dark emotions because it is the only way he can write, atleast for now. An old lover of him became his best friend. Someone who he can call "twin", a sister he never had. He never thought he'll get this far with her, but he did and after all the trouble in between that he managed to fix, he faces one of his worst enemies. Fear. That fear that thing might change between them in the future. He does not know how to act to prevent it, to keep her close forever. He fear that one day she will walk away and what they had will be lost. Atleast for her, cause you know, he'd never get pass it if it ever happens. A strong feeling of helplessness overwhelmed him and even if he's grown up so much in these past years, he does not have the knowledge he needs. He always watched her, prayed for her, helped her and did everything he could for her and so far, he has been repaid. She told him sincerily that she loves him, that he became her best friend and she also think of him as a twin. But after this present that is unknown how much it will last? He is not able to tell. He will always care for her, no matter what. Today, tomorrow, in a year and probably even in his dying moments. This is his testament regarding her, never forsaking her in any moment.

{ Dù Trái đất có quay bao nhiêu vòng quanh Mặt Trời. Thì người yêu cũ của bạn cũng sẽ không bao giờ quay lại } -Sưu tầm đâu đó-