#older steven

Waiting to start date night with the boys.

I’m so glad I stumbled across this week! A day late, but here’s

Glow Week Day 1 - glow/dark

Fusion dance glow activate!

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💖 Steven is a lucid yandere, very much aware that his obsessive love of you and the urges to keep you all to himself and protect you is wrong, but feels as though he can't stop himself, even if he tried - he's a monster, he already knows it. The best he feels he can do is to keep himself away from you as to not hurt you. All he ever does is ruin things, only to fix them at the very last moment. But, would there be any fixing anything if he lets his monstrous urges take over? You'd never forgive him, and then everyone would finally see how bad he really is. But… Maybe that wouldn't be so bad… It's about time that everyone sees him for who he really is, as the monster he's become and the fraud he always has been.

⭐But, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. You're all Steven can think of when he's apart from you. It's like your an addiction, he can't get enough of you… And is it so wrong? To love you? To hold you close to him, always and forever? To want you to love him back…? But, of course, it is. It's wrong. It's selfish. It's wrong to be selfish, it's bad to be selfish, he can't be selfish - and even if it wasn't, he can't be selfish, can't be possessive. He's Steven Universe, savior of the universe, restorer of peace across the galaxy. He needs to be good. He needs to perfect (like you, so perfect)... But, he's not.

💖 Steven finds himself getting irritable and upset much easier, along with turning pink and swelling up at more frequent intervals - and it's terrifying. When he's pink… The urges to take you for himself are so much stronger, his train of thought so much more… Dark. Thinking things like… Why should he hold back from seeing you, from loving you as you deserved to be? He's been holding back for far too long now. And besides, he loved you. Wasn't that enough? Wasn't that enough to finally take what he wants? What he rightfully deserves?! All he wanted was YOU, all he wanted was LOVE! That's all he ever wanted, was that too much to ask!? ... But, he always manages to calm down before letting such thoughts overtake him. But, it leaves him with more fear and distrust of himself than before. Were those thoughts the real him? Was he even worse than he thought?

⭐ You were so perfect, did you know that? He keeps thinking of you - every meeting he can recall, every feature on your flawless skin, every sweet word and action, thinking over every piece of your personality, all the many parts of the puzzle that made up the most perfect human being to ever exist. Be yearned for you, his heart aching for you so much it physically ached. Nobody else noticed as he layed about most of the day, only having the strength to think of you.

💖 Oh, but of course, you noticed - you had the entire time, really, but Steven was good at being elusive, even if he had secretly pined for your attention the entire time. How awful was he? Wanting attention from someone he should be avoiding, someone he should be protecting. Ignoring messages, blocking your numbers and accounts, purposefully avoiding you - as much as he did it out of the want to protect you from himself, the secret, dark part of himself (The real him…?) wanted so badly for you to be concerned for him, to be sympathetic toward him, to love him, to want to take care of him and help him. And so, you had eventually found him, cornering him and forcing a confrontation. Not out of anger - no, of course not. You just wanted to help. Even when everyone else would willingly turn a blind eye to his faults and problems, all you wanted to do was help.

And yes. I have a paw print birthmark.

But now that that burden has been lifted from their shoulders they want to sorta catch up on all the hang-outs they missed out on when Steven was younger, except they haven't quite been in-tune with all the smaller developments Steven has gone through the last few years. And as gems who are thousands of years old, they also still have a bit of trouble remembering that humans change constantly, as opposed to gems that somewhat remain the same their whole existence. The gems are still in the process of understanding how humans choose to socialize as they grow older. It's important that they don't hold on to this one image of Steven, but instead accept him as a whole.

It's also nice that they added that you don't necessarily have to abandon things you enjoyed when you were younger - having fun doesn't mean you are forfeiting your title as a young adult with responsibilities. And taking time to chill out in general shouldn't be seen as "immature" either.

Steven rejects their offers because they are presenting him with things he deems childish, but doesn't really offer any alternatives either - he just brushes them off. Which leaves the gems kinda confused on what else to do. Their only frame of reference is all the stuff young Steven liked. Yes, Steven has grown out of certain activities, but if he's always too busy to spend time with the gems - how are they gonna know the things he does enjoying doing, ya know? He's gotta take some time for himself!

I hope he finds some time to relax a bit.

I really liked this episode!