#oldcrushes

On that nostalgic mood! #highschooldance #newtownhs #basementhouseparties #oldcrushes #elmhurst #queens #nyc (at Elmhurst, New York)

You know that feeling when you find out that the guy you used to have a huge crush on a few years ago now has a girlfriend? And you catch them kissing? And you're all like, "Aww, cute. I ship it," until you remember that you used to like that guy, and it's all awkward....

Well...not all dreams. Some dreams are pleasant and sweet and even funny but i can't stand dreams that have people from my past in them. People that hurt me or betrayed me... every time I have dreams like those i wake up physically exhausted, and my mind at full power thinking about that person.....trying to figure out why the hell they are in my head in the 1st place.....they say when you dream about someone its because they were thinking about you before they go to sleep.... BULLSHIT . Why would my very 1st 2 crushes ever be thinking about me??? One has made attempts to attack me the other threatened to do the same...... (personal note: stop crushing on Closed minds) -sigh- i guess I'll never know why lol but it makes me wonder.....what would i do or what would happen if one of those dumbasses were to contact me? ? Or run into me at the store or something? Any ideas??

...also as it turns our old crushes don't always die hard. swoon.

So last night me and my best friend from home went out to meet HIM. You know, HIM, my crush from high school and good friend. Well we met up at our favorite diner for some late dinner. I saw him through the window as we walked up. I couldn't stop smiling. Then we walked in and my best friend said "There he is" He saw me, I saw him and I know I had the biggest smile on my face. He gave me one just as big back. He was up and out of his seat faster than normal and grabbed me up in a huge, warm and inviting hug. Looking over his shoulder I saw no one with him. No gf. My mans decided to stay in as well. How things work out... We hugged for a good 30 seconds and he asked in my ear "How have you been?" I said "Great! You?" "Good good" Then it's my best friend's turn. She gets a good hug as well but a lot quicker. We all sit down smiling and I can't help but notice how handsome he has gotten. Nor did I remember his eyes being so beautiful. Now my mans has some beautiful baby blues I mean beautiful. But HIS were a light grey outside and darker toward the iris. Like deep pools of water in the dark. We locked eyes a couple of times as we spoke. He would dart between me and my best friend trying to equally give us eye contact. Yet occasionally he would rest a little longer on me. Just as I looked over his face, remembering what we both looked like more than 8 years ago. Chubby kids, young and naive. Here we were older and battled scarred from life's many lessons. The corners of his mouth would curl up in a small smile as we chit chatted just as I couldn't stop smiling. We spoke on everything. Where we both were, where we all were and where we wanted to go. One of us married, one of us getting divorced and one of us moving in with a gf. It was a great time. It was a great end to my trip back home. He even paid for our dinner. Just took the ticket and let me add on a milk shake for the mans to take back to the hotel. Such a gentleman. Like always. ❤️

In my dream, I was back at the old building I used to work at. There was a mixture of old employees and the current employees. I was in my current position there. I remember there was two kitchens this time, and it was half hospital too. (I think i had a dream where there was a hospital at this building before). I realized I hadn't been to the other half of the building at all that day, and wondered if they missed me. I didn't know if anyone even noticed me at all. I wondered what would happen if I just passed out in the hallway. Would anyone notice? Would anyone care? By theatre 8, right by the kitchen entrance, I actually passed down to the floor. I felt my conscious leaving me. My vision was blurry yet clear and focused and zoomed at random parts. My heart was hurting. My breathing was slowing and painful. Each breath felt painful and throbbed my vision. I asked myself, am I still faking this? Is this actually happening? I can't be doing this for real. I was just questioning this. My body felt heavier with each breath. An employee passed down the hallway by 4, looked at me, and kept moving. See, I thought to myself, nobody cares, now time to get up. But my eyelids were closing. Abby, a current employee, rounded the corner from the bridge hallway, saw me, and screamed. This jolted my eyelids from slipping away and my arms to move. People came out of the kitchen and started to carry me away. I tried to get up and say I was fine, that I was kidding, but words couldn't come out. The next thing I remember, I'm in a very bright room on a hospital bed, surrounded by some kitchen staff and my first childhood crush, J.W., who is wearing jeans and a black T-shirt. He has a small smile on his face the whole time, and doesn't speak at all. In the doorway I can see the hallway to the theatre. My vision is still blurry, my limbs still heavy, and my mouth still unable to speak. He takes my vitals, his stethoscope felt so cool and full of life against my numb skin. He was nodding and smiling at me the whole time, I kept trying to laugh at the awkwardness of this situation. I knew he'd gone to school to be a doctor, but who knew he'd be mine. As he moved to go away from me, I managed to stick my arm up. I wanted a hug. He smiled and said Oh you want a hug? I think I smiled. My heart was so nervous this whole time. I just wanted a hug. I pulled him in close to my bed and he lied next to me on his stomach with the arm I pulled wrapped around me hugging me. And this is all I remember.