I finished the entire BtB series (and HHU) about a week ago and it hasn't left my mind even once.
I'm not quite sure how to put my thanks into words: You managed to make me feel so obsessed with reading like when I was a kid. I stayed up until 4 am, had to literally force myself to sleep because I was (am!) so incredibly invested. No other piece of literature has done that since like... 6 years? I cried, screamed, laughed, gasped, blushed at so many scenes - the heartache was genuinely so beautiful.
I know the first part of BtB is quite old and your writing has improved a lot since then but all the parts read incredibly seamlessly.
I could *hear* the characters voices in my head while reading, picture the scenes like a movie in my head. The attention to detail and the accuracy of the characters makes me so incredibly happy. Usually when reading, I notice every single distraction going on around me and it's so rare that something pulls me in to the point I just zero in on the story.
There's a lot of scenes that stuck in my mind and to my surprise, I resonated most with your characterisation of Genma. I went in a die-hard Neji fan (and still am) and came out with a deep appreciation for Shikamaru and Genma. (That being said, I also really love then way you portray the other characters, especially Hiashi and Ibiki who I really didn't like before.)
Genma's story just... God it has my heartstrings in a death grip. His never-ending jack-assery and dirty jokes and the way Raido sees right through it.
The fact he held onto items important to him and related to the people he loved most...
The way he handled Shikamaru and Asuma and Kurenai's baby while still insisting he doesn't do well with children.
The way he made Kakashi say what he feels near the end of UtS in an ass-backwards way but a way that didn't allow for deception and empty words.
But, I think the moment that made me sob and laugh and feel the most was when he said "You ruined it" - that fucking killed me right then and there.
When I first met Genma in your story I was really sceptical and suspicious of him, thinking he was somehow the bad guy. And then I grew to love him and hurt for him. That was so extremely well done.
I also have to get off my chest that I love, love, love the way you described his drug trips (and Kakashi's little endeavor with medicines) as well as dreams and flashbacks. I find that these things are mostly feelings and oh so confused and confusing that it's hard to put into words but you genuinely excel at it.
I also love the transitions of dreams back to reality. Keyword here being "back". God, nothing hurt me more than reading that word in HHU. I think you know which scene I mean.
I also read through old asks and found out more about Naoki and Karibi. I love these two so much as well. Karibi struck me as very interesting and I'm glad I got to find out how she lived and died. Especially because HHU kind of alluded to her commiting or attempting suicide.
Naoki... My heart hurts for him. This poor, poor man. I'm so fucking glad he didn't have to die alone. He was so strong for Genma though, building him up, putting him on the right path and giving him a verbal slap for being an addict, giving Kakashi and him his blessings eventhough he used to be so possessive and protective of Genma.
His story really is tragically beautiful and incredibly complex. I really wanted him to live but realistically I knew it wasn't going to happen.
How old were Karibi, Naoki and Genma when they joined Team Yokai? When Inoichi saw Genma and Naoki kiss and Genma talks about his Senbon hitting certain nerves (hehe), they're said to be about 17 and I remember it being mentioned that Naoki took a while to "bottom" in bed due to his childhood trauma.
Also can we talk about the Tsubomi poem? That is so *beautiful*. Did it come easy to you or was it hard to write? It fits so incredibly perfectly to Naoki and Ino.
One thing that confuses me about the storyline is the epilogue of Requiem, where Genma has a flashback(?) about Shuken holding Naoki hostage and making him reveal his name. Could you explain to a confused-maybe-stupid-me when that takes place and how Genma and Naoki escape from that situation?
I can't stop gushing about your story so i won't:
Shuken's character is also so well written. When we first meet him in Shikamarus flashbacks, I was also oddly intrigued eventhough I had an idea about what sort of fucked up things he'd done to Shikamaru. You wrote his seductiveness really well. And then he reveals his age and I got *deeply* disturbed and as we learn more I just got more and more disturbed. The progression was so well done, I felt like I was sort of experiencing what Shikamaru was going through. The use of "Shika" sent cold shivers down my spine.
I also really loved your wheels within wheels and walls within walls metaphor for the ANBU. It creates such an amazing mental image that can be played around with so creatively.
Aaa. Okay. I think I got most of my thoughts down so far. I'm sure I'll come back to gush some more, maybe ask some more.
Thank you so much for this amazing story and all the work and hours you put into it. I can't wait to read more from you đź’™
My dear @sunlightrays 💙💙
Thank you so much for both your patience with me as I finally secure the time to respond, and of course, for the phenomenal feedback you've given me. As expressed in my private DM. It impacted me immensely...and I am still moved and altered by it -- thank you.
I will endeavour in this reply to answer your Qs to the best of my ability, given that I do tend to revert back into a blob of incoherent feels every time I revisit this message...đź’™
I know the first part of BtB is quite old and your writing has improved a lot since then but all the parts read incredibly seamlessly.
Oh dear lord...that first installment....*cringes* oh the temptation to rewrite it, luv...THE TEMPTATION....(aww, thank you though, I appreciate that you felt it all flowed together).
There's a lot of scenes that stuck in my mind and to my surprise, I resonated most with your characterisation of Genma. [...] Genma's story just... God it has my heartstrings in a death grip. His never-ending jack-assery and dirty jokes and the way Raido sees right through it.
Oh, luv, I do so love writing Genma and his respective relationships, whether platonic or romantic.
I'm so freaking happy you took a shine to his portrayal in BtB! The feedback you have given me with WHY and WHAT you loved about Genma's portrayal and story was just...I can't even begin to describe how nourishing that was to my writer's soul. If every writer were to receive this kind of feedback, I can see their proverbial cups running over with gratitude and inspiration. Thank you so, so much.
I also love the transitions of dreams back to reality. Keyword here being "back". God, nothing hurt me more than reading that word in HHU. I think you know which scene I mean.
Ah god damn, but you hit me hard with the love you showed my OCs. Thank you so, so much for that and for sharing what it was that drew you in -- especially with Naoki. đź’—đź’—đź’— (Even Shuken, dare I say)
How old were Karibi, Naoki and Genma when they joined Team Yokai?
13 to 14 years old. Naoki joined when he was 13, Karibi and Genma at 14. By the time they were assigned to Team Yokai, they were all 16.
When Inoichi saw Genma and Naoki kiss and Genma talks about his Senbon hitting certain nerves (hehe), they're said to be about 17 and I remember it being mentioned that Naoki took a while to "bottom" in bed due to his childhood trauma.
Correct! They'd have been 17/18 years old at that time. Age 19 is when Naoki tragically accepted Danzo's offer and was listed as KIA after his 'fake death'.
Re: intimacy issues. Right you are. Due to his childhood abuse, Naoki refused to "bottom" for the longest time. It took a hell of a lot for Genma to work through that with him. Karibi helped with this too.
Also can we talk about the Tsubomi poem? That is so *beautiful*. Did it come easy to you or was it hard to write? It fits so incredibly perfectly to Naoki and Ino.
Aww....I'm so touched you felt that way about Naoki's poem for Ino. It's such a tough question to answer. Anything that is deeply personal or painful for the characters always twinges my heartstrings when writing...but for Naoki, his guarded emotions came out in his seldom seen/heard creativity / art, so writing it was easy in the sense that it flowed into my head easily from the character, but it was hard in the sense that it reflected so much of Naoki's pain as well as his love.
One thing that confuses me about the storyline is the epilogue of Requiem, where Genma has a flashback(?) about Shuken holding Naoki hostage and making him reveal his name. Could you explain to a confused-maybe-stupid-me when that takes place and how Genma and Naoki escape from that situation?
Oh my dearest, YOU are in no way the confused-maybe-stupid party in this. In fact, "I" am the idiot who cut a LOT of scenes surrounding Naoki's torture at Shuken's hands and the escape situation *epic facepalm* In hindsight, I would love to go back and edit that by re-writing/editing and INCLUDING those scenes. I can see the holes there from the reader's perspective, and if I hadn't been operating like a runaway train at the time, I'd have slowed down to correct that error.
So, that scene where Genma has the nightmare flashback of Shuken holding Naoki hostage. Let me do a breakdown chronology as it's the easiest way my fucked-up spiderweb mind-map can be translated into a linear sequence....
Naoki gets stabby-happy with Shuken (plunges that needle into his neck) and fucks up his ROOT mission, but prioritises saving Shikamaru
Naoki needs Genma to "buy him time" while he tries to fix the trauma and everything coming undone in Shikamaru's head
So Genma goes happy-hunting on the Freak Show as Naoki deep dives into Shikamaru's brainpan
(DELETED SCENE) Naoki stablisies Shuken so the natural energy doesn't kill him. Then Naoki deep-dives into Shikamaru's brainpan and meets with some complications because of the natural energy swimming around inside him.
(cont. DELETED SCENE) Naoki tries to stabilise Shikamaru too, but gets interrupted mid-brain-and-body-fix by more Freak Show cross-breeds looking for bossman Shuken. Naoki can't complete what he's doing with Shikamaru and needs more time. He hides Shikamaru and takes out the opponents interrupting him before rushing to assist Genma
He assists Genma lol -- ends up getting injured (takes a nasty blow to his hip, if I recall)
He tells Genma he needs more time with Shikamaru to fix the kid
Genma is too busy freaking out about Naoki stabbing his mark/Shuken in the neck and the consequences of this action
They get interrupted by more Freak Show mutants, which sabotages Naoki's plan to regroup with Shikamaru and use the Nagu blood vial to get them the hell out
Naoki opts to stay behind to distract the Freak Show and give Genma time to get Shikamaru out, so he kisses Genma in a heated moment to shut him up and save time by connecting their minds where he " communicated in seconds what would've taken minutes to put into words; why Tenka had killed those children; where he'd hidden Shikamaru; what he'd tried to do to fix him; the secret route he planned to use to get them out; and lastly, what he was asking Genma to do – no, ordering him to do." -UtS
He tells Genma to get Shikamaru out, basically, even though he hasn't finished 'fixing' the kid. Naoki gets caught (DELETED SCENE)
Genma does as he's ordered, only he can't bring himself to leave Naoki behind again so after crossing through the portal so Shuken can't reach the kid, he hides and secures Shikamaru (DELETED SCENE) and returns to go and help Naoki, letting himself get caught in the process
Naoki in the meantime has been at Shuken's mercy (or lack thereof) and is receiving a traitor's punishment (DELETED SCENE) -- it is at this point that Genma's flashback dream comes into play where Shuken is starting to shown signs of transmogrification due to the natural energy in his system (think Sound Four on steroids) and wants to know Genma's name and where he stashed Shikamaru
(LONG DELETED SCENE) Meanwhile, Kurayami is borne in Shikamaru's consciousness and THAT is the person that wakes up when Shikamaru finally comes to. He secures himself some Nagu blood, re-enters the portal and goes on the hunt for Shuken
(HUGE DELETED SCENE - hinted at in Genma's memories when he's talking to Tsunade) Shikamaru/Kurayami finds Shuken. He goes for Shuken like a heat-seeking missile, taking out mutants as he goes, unintentionally freeing Genma in the process, his shadows bringing chaos. He does damage. A lot of it. But in the last minute Naoki comes between Shuken and Shikamaru and gets Shuken's knife in the back. Shuken is out for the count after that. Naoki, knife in back, prioritises clamping his hands to Shikamaru's head, trying to shut down Kurayami and lock the alter away, as the whole building is coming down.
This was Naoki's last bid effort to try to save Shikamaru's mind by sealing off all the alters, knowing he didn't have time to integrate them.
Shocked Genma snaps into Kaika mode and gets his shit together, scooping up unconscious Shikamaru and running like a mo-fo with Naoki in tow
Naoki can't run any further, he falls and is bleeding out, tells Genma to run one last time and get the kid to safety, reminding him that Shikamaru can't be allowed to remember etc. Makes Genma swear an oath to him.
Though it costs him his heart, Genma does as he's told one final time. And it's too late to go back again after getting Shikamaru to safety at last. He believes Naoki is dead.
Phew! Sorry for that LONG list. I hope it clarifies for you those missing/deleted scenes, sweetie? Sorry again for any confusion. I own that as a big mistake on my part; sadly at the time, the mammoth wordcount and my runaway brain steamrolled ahead. In hindsight, I'd absolutely fix those gaps upon revision.
Aaa. Okay. I think I got most of my thoughts down so far. I'm sure I'll come back to gush some more, maybe ask some more.
You are most welcome to, luv. I am delighted and humbled by your interest and your huge support for my fic. Thank you for your patience with my response and thank you again, so, SO much for such an outstanding response to my insane contribution to the Naruto fandom.
I am grateful beyond measure and meant every single word I wrote you in that DM. I repeatedly revisit this review and I shall for as long as I write. đź’—đź’—đź’— Thank you.
