A rare smile from the former Jedi Battlemaster, c. 25 ATC
My beloved beleaguered jedi knight <3
Indesa has taken my braincell and ran with it this past week, I now have an actual lore doc and history for her!
This was also part of an exploration of different outfits and hairstyles for her, especially as she progresses through her story.
This look in particular I'm picturing for her during her time with the alliance, during and post kotxx. She didn't get the outlander/carbonite nap treatment, and instead spent a lot of time fighting the eternal empire on the front lines (which compounded some issues she already had re. the constant fighting that had taken over her life).
Eventually after stepping back from the jedi order she wound up in the force enclave on Odessen. It became a place where she could work on slowly coming back to herself, and figure out what to do next.
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In which Indesa reflects on who she has been, what she has done, and who she wants to be going forward.
It's done!! I redrew every aspect of this so many damn times 😌 I like how it came out though <3
I'm still working out what she gets up to once she winds up with the Alliance. Humanitarian missions, helping to rebuild and support a community would be good for her. However she'd balk at combat, even in the name of defence. Her lightsaber is kept locked in a box and out of sight most of the time; the cold heft of it makes dread coil in her gut.
If Indesa ever stops charging forward, she will have to look back and face the things she has done in the name of the Republic.
Thoughts/lore beneath the cut :)
My experience of the knight storyline is that they keep flinging this 19 year old around the galaxy to fix their problems, without much care for How they get fixed.
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Pondering Indesa's 'recovery' arc, esp in regards to reconciling herself with her past actions. She does manage to find peace in the light side of the force, but it's not as simple as a straightforward 'redemption arc' and ta-da! she's a good, morally upstanding person again. It's more complicated.
((This is also just a big ol' word vomit that I tried to edit into something readable and was about 50% successful lol))
Your status as a jedi in the Republic seems to let you get away with a lot in game. People assume that because a jedi agrees with a course of action, it must be right.
Indesa also fell into this trap. She’s a Jedi, she fights for the Republic, for the greater good. She doesn’t have time to doubt her decisions if they get the job done. She’s a good jedi.
In the case of swtor, you often don’t get a choice to avoid violence (RIP to the 500 npcs I killed just crossing the map, to the boss battles that don't give you the chance to spare the enemy when they're defeated). But the jedi knight story does give you the choice to be merciful every so often, to help rather than to harm. There are also options you have to sacrifice/endanger republic forces in the name of doing more damage to the Empire. (Specifically, I'm remembering the choice to ram Darth Marr’s ship into the zakuulan ones rather than let your own people escape – a decision which commander au Indesa did take.)
Which is all to say, Indesa was shaped into a weapon, into something to take down threats to the Republic, but she is still responsible for her actions, for the harm she caused. Many people died by her blade who did not have to. Some days she hides behind the "just following orders" excuse, she was doing what they taught her to do, what they asked her to do. Other days she knows that's a weak argument. She could have walked away if she truly wanted to. (But she valued her identity as a hero, as a jedi, as a good jedi, more. She needed to protect the Republic.)
She got away with war crimes (perhaps not by republic standards, perhaps the republic military would not even bat an eye, but still, she is not innocent).
Back to the present, the memories of these things still haunt her. She worries about becoming that person again. She hesitates to return to combat because she knows exactly what she is capable of. She knows exactly how easy it would be to slip back into the emotional numbness that cushioned her from her own actions. Simultaneously feeling too much and nothing at all. The muscle memory to keep going when you’ve left your heart behind.
As for the people who suffered as a result of her actions, she’s less inclined to try and repair that damage. She was not kind to the pilgrims on Tython, for example. There are people better suited to that job, to mending those bridges. (It’s easier to look back over an empty battlefield than to meet the eyes of someone she’s hurt.)
its the first day of summer! (at least, up in the northern hemisphere LOL) so what's a better time than now to ask -- what are your blorbos up to when the sun is out and the weather gets warm again? :0!
send help, apparently it's going to be 37°C next week I'm not built for these temperatures T-T
(wistfully remembering years ago when 30°C was the hottest day of the year here and even that was a noteworthy high)
Let's see, who's faring better than me rn lol
You can find Indesa in either one of two modes: cat nap or Hiking Brain Activated. Sprawled out somewhere, soaking up the sunshine, or disappearing into the Odessen wilds on a week long hike. The hike will no doubt include stops to sun herself on some rocks, or a nice grassy knoll, of course. Get the best of both worlds in there.
Adus is at a beach side bar, sunnies on and iced drink in hand. Not thinking too hard about the ocean Right There, nope. Not at all. She can dip her feet in, other people are doing it, that's Acceptable. (But there is a tug in her gut telling her to go deeper in, at which point she quickly makes her way back to the bar and orders another drink. )
Zod is simple: sun's out, guns out. (but her guns were already out, I hear you cry. Zod is not listening. the Guns are Out. 😌 ...perhaps a crop top to get the tummy out too...)
The Aircon on Corwen's ship is set to max, it's akin to walking into a Hoth microcosm. Corwen has also invested in additional electric fans to point directly at him. He's supplementing the fuel costs from his own salary to avoid an angry letter from the Jedi's accountants. (You'll have to pry his hot caf out of his cold cold hands though.)
As a bonus, because they've been forthcoming lately (unlike their brother smh), Seddhun is increasingly convinced that mandalorians are insane. Why are you wearing all of that armour. Stop trying to make me wear it too do you want me to be cooked. (you COOK Seddhun? Jail for mandos, jail for 1000 years)
While they do have a set of Mando armour, they're a bit loose on the mandalorian culture and traditions. Ohh one day I will buy that one cunty leather jacket with the straps + little red neck scarf. Seddhun would absolutely be wearing that. (Nemo if you see this, Tev may have competition.)
Seddhun's unnamed Mando friend is sweating buckets but refuses to admit she's hot. "No I always sweat this much. What are you talking about. Damn suit coolant's busted again- what? shut up."
The "nothing bad happened to Indesa" au that's been running around my head this past week!
Essentially: an au where Indesa and her master (Master Taiden) weren't on Coruscant when it was attacked, her master lived, and she gets a taste of helping people in the wake of disaster after the blockade on Coruscant is lifted. Where she doesn't fall into a spiral of grief and throw herself into combat training, but continues on her journey of becoming a more typical, balanced jedi with the help of her master.
Where she's graceful and light on her feet and didn't lose her bubbly personality.
(lover girl by laufey has been stuck in my head this week, so it's now au Indesa's song by association lol. Idk if she's head over heels for anyone, but probably more just in love with life. It's about the vibes 🤌)
Taiden kept her well away from the fighting, she spent her time as a padawan helping with reconstruction and humanitarian missions - e.g. Taris, Ossus, etc. and continues the work after she is knighted. She's happy.
-> if you can hear someone snort laughing across the courtyard, it's probably Indesa
She can still hold her own in a fight but her domain is far more defensive, and she's no savant. And she would willingly lay down her life for others, no weighing of the cost/benefit she would just do it.
