#oc:tam

Life had returned to Kumandra.

It’s people forgave one another, the city rebuilt, the sins of the past had begun to slowly drift away. 

Yet Tam stayed.

Tam felt as if she were a shadow, a silent creature doomed to wander behind the real version of itself forevermore. But Tam had no ‘real’ version of herself, not anymore at least. She was nothing now, but a homeless, aimless wanderer without a penny to her name or a future she could look forward to.

Yes, truly she had a home. 

But Fang was no longer her home. 

How could she return home after everything she had done? How could she face the people who knew she was a traitor, who had come to Sir willingly in pursuit of the woman she wanted to desperately love. The very woman who had stepped into the very shadows Tam had, playing the game, putting on the mask of the ones formally known as Druuns. Hurting, stealing, killing. Yet now she ran Fang as if none of her past sins mattered? 

Tam knew what awaited her when she returned home. She knew her parents would disown her, her friends would turn their backs on her, and, what’s worse, she would be put to trial by the very woman she loved the most. Shamed by the public, blamed for the state the sector was put into. The majority of those who were never under the Druun’s power fled the city, back to the wastes they came from.

Tam would not run.

Nor would Tam return home.

So a shadow she remained, aimless, waiting for a purpose to find her.

Never once anticipating her path would lead her to the Sisudatu, the gardens and the gem that began it all. Fixed in place, as it had been all those years ago, a pedestal erected to replace the one that had been shattered. 

Tam stood before it, drinking in its light. Midafternoon, alone here now, the rest of the halls of the center bustling with energy. How she had managed to sneak in without being detected was beyond her. That is, until she noticed her reflection in the gem, seeing the stranger that stared back at her. Face worn, eyes hollow and lost, her clothes dirtied and her skin pale. 

She was unrecognizable, even to herself. An acknowledgement that stuck in her throat, bitter and tasting of bile as she felt the pain of the years alone weighing on her. Fixating then on the gem, the image of herself specifically, as it taunted her again and again.

This is what you’ve become.

This is the result of what she did to you.

You are alone

You are nothing.

You will never be the same again.

Again these words drove through her mind, endlessly, her pain rising and her anger burning hot in her gut. Telling her to act, a voice at the back of her mind, weighing her down in an effort to shatter her.

No-..not her.

The gem.

Shatter it.

Return things to how it was.

An easy, satisfying sensation filling her. Knowing it would be easy to do, to simply reach her hand forward and tip the scale of Kumandra once more. Destroying the bonds, letting loose the pain of those six years again into the world. She had the rage inside her, she had the means to create the chaos that once was bred from the Princess of Heart. 

It was right there.

Her hand lifted, the gem cool under her fingertips.

All she had to do was-

“Hi.”

Tam stumbled back, hand retracting so fast from the gem that she nearly toppled herself down to the ground. The voice, so tiny yet powerful, startling her clear out of her skin as she had believed she was alone. Clearly not, Tam realized all too quickly, as she turned and saw a small child at her side. 

Couldn’t have been more than five, with jet black hair and wide beautiful eyes that looked up at Tam without a hint of discomfort. Overalls and a shirt with juice stains, missing shoes, and a doll tucked under his arm. Bandaids with bright colorful characters on his legs, another on his pointer finger that was practically falling off. A sucker was stuck right in his mouth, that he rolled back and forth using his tongue. Missing teeth as if he had recently had a visit from the tooth fairy.

Tam didn’t know how to react to this child. No one had spoken to her in years, let alone someone of his age. From the few interactions she had, most parents had turned their children away from her. Scared of her ghastly appearance, shielding their eyes from the ‘scum’ lingering in the alleyways. Tam looked around, spotting a woman from the other edge of the garden. Dressed in formal wear that was far too nice to be on a commoner, the woman giving her a gentle wave and a smile when she turned to look at her. Clearly the boy’s Mother, watching from afar.

“Hi.” The boy said again, his voice chirping like a bird.

“H-hi…” Tam replied, her voice sounding more like a stranger than her own.

“What’s your name?” The boy asked, rocking back and forth on his feet.

“Um…” Tam glanced to the woman and then to this boy, lying on the spot, “Grace..”

“Hi, Gray-suh.. I’m Chau.” the boy named Chau chirped again, emphasizing her fake name in a way that was quite adorable. He dug into his pocket then, gathering something in his hand, and pulled out a rather large collection of suckers out. Holding them up to her, smiling that toothy smile of his. “My Mommy bought me these and I have a lot and you looked lonely and so I wanted to give you one-” he offered, picking through the suckers, “I got green and pink and blue and  red and yellow…and you can have two if you want cause you can have one now and one later and I’ll be here tomorrow if you want another but I won’t be here till after school so you might have to wait a long time and-”

On and on he went.

Chau explaining his entire setup with the suckers as if Tam wasn’t some random stranger he had just met but an old friend. He picked up a blue one, examining it before looking at Tam and then back at the sucker. Smiling happily.

“You should have blue, cause it’s pretty like you’re hair!” he cheered, “it’s good, you’ll like it.”

Tam reached up and touched her hair, forgetting that it was blue. Forgetting a lot about herself really. Mostly how to react to such kindness, especially from someone so innocent as this child was. Her eyes watching the boy, unsure as she held back her hand.

Still, the boy seemed undeterred to her hesitance, holding out the sucker to Tam until she  eventually reached forward and took it gently.

“You can try red too, it’s my favorite.” he giggled, handing her a red sucker then, practically bouncing on his toes.

Tam swallowed, holding the two candies in her hand carefully, gazing at their wrapping. So tiny, so insignificant, and yet it felt heavy in her grasp. Weighted, full of meaning, as if she were not so much looking at a small treat but a gesture. A kind gesture. Something Tam hadn’t had in years, a small token of kindness without a hint of deceit. Coming from a child who barely knew her. Unafraid of her appearance, approaching her with a wide smile on his face. The act causing Tam’s lip to quiver, moving into a tiny smile.

“Thank you…” she replied, and truly she meant it. 

“You’re welcome!” he replied, “have a good day, Miss Gray-suh”

Tam let out a humored scoff, “Y-you…too..Chau..”

The boy smiled back, waving goodbye to her as he rushed back to his Mother excitedly. His voice booming as he jumped into her arms, telling her all about their exchange.

“I gave the nice lady the candy!” he cheered.

The woman chuckled, “That was very sweet of you, I’m sure that made her happy.”

“I wanna give out more candy!” he screamed energetically, “I wanna make more people happy!”

Tam watched them go, the Mother encouraging him the entire way out of the gardens. The pair disappearing behind the doors, off to make more people happy. Leaving Tam there alone, with the suckers and her heart a little less weighted down. Somehow, as short as it was, the child’s action had struck somewhere deep in her. A tiny amount of something blooming in her chest that brought tears to her eyes and made her feel less like a shadow and more like a person. 

She turned to look at the gem, but that voice of despair was gone. 

Tam left the Sisudatu, carrying the candy along with her. Feeling for the first time in a long time, the happiness that had come with it.