#oc ramble

im ray and that's not my real name but I don't share that online and my pronouns r funny as hell like he/he. I'm a scary fucking ghoul from new jersey and I throw tomatoes at infants for fun. in this essay I will FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!1

(i post my shit on webtoons too as of #50)

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ABOUT ME

• i am fifteen years old. yay

• I'm evil

• interests include cooking, foraging, art (especially my and others' ocs), animation (doing and watching), music (I play two instruments) and screaming at pigeons to show them who's boss.

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INTERESTS!!!!!

> lemon demon

> smiling friends

> portal

> stardew

> pikmin

> will wood

> soad

> tmbg

> bigtop burger

> tawog

> smiling friends again cuz I love it

> bob burger

> I wanna get into bugsnax but I haven't yet sniffle

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TAGS!!!!!

#ocs, #my ocs, #original characters, similar tags: anything including my ocs

#silly oc comic: stupid yaoi/comedy comic strip I draw sometimes. it's cringe and I'm not exactly proud but I sure as shit ain't stopping

#misc comic: comics unrelated to my ocs

#oc doodle: formerly low effort art but I don't organize well so this has just become another tag added for reach.

#coloured: art that I've coloured in, I forget to tag these often tho idk

#oc ramble: yapping about my imaginary guys. sometimes unprompted! usually prompted. also usually in response to asks

#asks/#answered asks: self explanatory

#actual effort: stuff i draw that's more planned, more neat, overall just higher effort. usually coloured. also usually done in krita instead of MSpaint (em spaint)

#oc fanart: my ocs drawn by other ppl

#others ocs: other ppls original characters

#my auncle dni: disregard, I made my auncle filter this bc they know me IRL so I tag the Extra Cringe stuff w this

The short answer to both questions is that Faenil is absolutely terrible when it comes to physical contact and compliments. Yes they deny themself these things on purpose and subconsciously so even if they may enjoy it one moment they'll compensate the nice feeling and vulnerability by getting extra rude and cold soon after. You'll have to be really special to them to even get to that point, and if you do, choose your words with care - maybe instead of straight up liking them you simply find their presence welcome and tolerable. Saying you love them is like a trigger word for Faenil's "kill everyone in sight" mode, it's quite awful. Also here's a cute doodle from last year I still like:

Faenil finds most forms of affection suspicious or dishonest, after all they've been told they're physically defective, disturbing and unlikable for most of their life, so it's kind of confusing whenever the dynamic flips. It somehow feels safer for Faenil to maintain the hostile status quo than accept some kind of vulnerable relationship where they may get hurt in a much deeper way. Yeah this elf has insane levels of problems as you may guess. They also believe they'll end up hurting anyone they care about no matter what so they'll do that "this is the skin of a killer, Brelyna" shit often. And in many ways that belief isn't unfounded.

But it's definitely not impossible to get past. Faenil secretly really likes the compliments when it comes from someone they appreciate, and craving physical touch is just natural. Also, I'd imagine children get a pass with most things, since Faenil is surprisingly well behaved around them, I think especially in the Honorhall orphanage the kids climb Faenil like a tree and they're mildly confused but ultimately ok with that. They may do that typical cat behaviour thing where they just totally coincidentally happen to be in the same room as you all the time as well.