title: lovesickness
pairing:Â jimin x f. reader
rating/genre: m (18+) ; idol!verse with canon divergence, obsession au
summary: In which you, a BTS army, wanders into a magic shop in Las Vegas and ends buying something called a One Wish Willow and in times of desperation, jokingly makes a wish about your favorite BTS memberâŠbut maybe⊠you shouldn't have⊠[do not go see bts in las vegas and come home and watch obsession because now you have opened up pandora's box of thoughts of those with the potential to abuse its' power]
warnings:Â Obsessive Behavior, Stalking, Separation Anxiety, Idol! Park Jimin, Making Out, Jealousy, Biting, Cunnilingus, Orgasm, Dry Humping, Suicidal Thoughts, Smut, Eventual Sex, Psychological Horror, Character Death (s)?, Angst, Unrequited Love, Mild Gore, Arguments, Power Dynamic, Touch-Starved, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Coercion, Rough Sex, Impulsive Behavior, Emotional Outbursts, Eventual Self Harm
notes: this is my darkest fic i've ever written and I could've gone darker but Jimin is an angel and even in a fictional sense, I can't go that deep. heavily unedited since no beta reader, also based on the 2026 movie obsession, this fic incorporate a sense of realism, so the members will speak in korean (apologies as my korean is still in the works so there may be some awkward expressions i may have used) during certain points (with eng translations) and english at other points, jimin is at an intermediate level in his english in this fic etc. (pls check ao3 for more notes)
total word count: 12k for pt. 1
if you'd like to read part 2 and 3, please check the rest of this fic out on AO3 here
-
Las Vegas hits you the second you step out of the airport. The dry heat wraps around you like a second skin, and the city already feels electric, buzzing with that restless, neon-charged energy. Day 1 of the concert hasnât even started, but everything around you feels intense as the minutes go by. Anxiously.
Youâd been counting down to this moment since January. You still remember the three of you refreshing the presale page like your lives depended on it, hearts pounding as you fought your way into the queue the moment it opened. After nearly missing out last time they came to Vegas (youâd barely snagged a floor ticket, but you were so far back the members never wouldâve seen you), you refused to settle. This time you were going all out. Ten years of being a fan, ten years of loving them through every comeback, every hiatus and every milestone. You wanted this trip to matter. You wanted to be close. You wanted the chance, however small, to actually be seen.
You and your friends had landed with nothing resembling a real plan, just a loose agreement to chase anything that felt even a little ARIRANG-coded or tied to BTS lore outside of going to the concerts. Hours before the day 1 concert, the three of you were fully committed and determined to follow the "BTS IN THE CITY - LAS VEGAS" itinerary and do anything even remotely related to them. Itâs ridiculous, you think, as you walk past tourists filming the fountains and gamblers stumbling out of casinos like theyâve lost all sense of time. But itâs Vegas. Everything here is supposed to be a little ridiculous.
Thatâs how you end up at this specific place.
The Lotus Magic Shop is tucked on the Las Vegas Strip between two much louder hotel buildings. Its sign is small and easy to miss. The place looks gimmicky, but something about it still catches your eye. Your friend laughs the moment she sees it.
"Okay," she says, pointing. "That is literally a Magic Shop. We have to go in."
You donât argue. None of you do. It doesnât hurt you guys to check it or kill more time before soundcheck starts later that day. So you all just go in.
Inside, the air shifts. Itâs cooler, quieter, like the city got muted the moment the door closed behind you. Shelves line the walls in uneven rows, filled with trinkets that look half antique and half staged, crystal animals, dusty jars, folded paper charms tied with string. It smells faintly like cedar and something metallic underneath, like old coins or rain that never fully dried. Mildew too, maybe?
As you slowly walk, observing each and every object, something immediately catches your eyes.
Something peculiar.
The One Wish Willow.
It sits on a middle shelf like it doesnât belong there, in a highly deceptive, retro, and cheap-looking mass-market packaging. The vintage 1980s-style box is designed to look like an ordinary, inexpensive novelty trinket you might impulsively pick up from a gift shop.
6.99.
Seven dollars, basically. Itâs always the seven when it comes to BTS and Army!
You stare at it longer than you mean to.
"Look at this thing!" you say, holding up the small paper box. "It grants one wish, it says!"
The exterior and packaging also prominently display "Amaze your friends!" alongside important user warnings. Warning Labels: The packaging and included instructions heavily stress that wishes are irreversible and cannot be repeated.
Your friend snorts. "Thatâs so fake."
"Obviously," the other says, already turning to walk away. "But itâs cute. Get it for the memory or whatever." Her voice drips with sarcasm.
You know you should put it back. You absolutely know that. But something about the retro design keeps pulling your attention. Vegas has a way of making bad ideas feel exciting, like theyâre part of the whole experience youâre supposed to collect.
So you carry it to the counter.
The cashier gives the box a strange look as he rings it up. "Are you sure about this?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, Iâm sure," you reply, trying to sound casual.
He hesitates for a second, then shrugs. "Alright then."
Seven dollars feels like nothing in a city built to empty your wallet.
When your friends spot the bag in your hand at checkout, they both burst out laughing.
"So you actually bought a cursed piece of dead wood?" one of them says, eyes wide with amusement. "I was being sarcastic, you know!"
"Itâs not cursed," you answer, rolling your eyes even as a small laugh escapes you. "Itâs just a joke object." You pause, then add, "And I thought it looked pretty cool and retro."
You tuck the box deeper into your bag like it belongs there, even though a tiny voice in the back of your mind wonders if this was a dumb idea.
"It better not end up being like a Ouija board or something," your other friend says, grinning. "Iâm not dealing with any haunted hotel room tonight."
"Oh please," you reply, shaking your head. "This is not going to summon anything. Itâs literally just a trinket. Let it go." Your friends continue to laugh and tease you about your silly purchase.
You pull your the bag over your shoulder and head back out onto the Strip with your friends, the small weight of the box bouncing lightly against your side.
Outside again, the sun is blazing hot. The world is loud. You almost forget about the shop entirely by the time you three are rushing toward the venue, checking your phone every few seconds like it might suddenly tell you youâre late.
You cannot be late!
Luckily the three of you make it just in time. The line is already moving, ushering fans into the venue grounds under the massive shade of Allegiant Stadiumâs bowl.
You head straight to the Live Nation VIP tent, heart pounding as you wait your turn. When the staff finally hand over the passes and loop them around your neck, you look down and freeze. Soundcheck passes. The real ones. You still canât believe it.
One of your friends lets out a sharp breath. "Holy shit, we actually got them."
The other just grins, gripping her pass like it might disappear. "Letâs go, letâs go!"
Youâre guided inside with the rest of the VIP crowd, a buzzing wave of energy that feels impossible to contain. Everywhere you look there are flashing wristbands, security checking bags, and excited chatter bouncing off the concrete walls. In the distance, you can already hear the low thump of BTS running through their real soundcheck, the bass vibrating through your chest before that ends.
Once inside the stadium, the full scale of it hits you in pieces instead of all at once.
The stage is massive, extending into long catwalk legs that reach deep into the audience sections like arms stretching out to touch as many people as possible.
Your seat is just slightly off-center from the extended stage. The moment you sit down, a small wave of disappointment hits you. Youâre not as close as you thought youâd be. Not even close.
Your friends had sworn the three of you would be much closer than this. You canât help but think you should have spent extra money on barricade resell tickets to guarantee it. Now youâre already worrying about the tickets for the other days. If those arenât better, you know youâll regret it.
Youâve been a fan for almost ten years. After all this time, you really want them to notice you. Not just as another light stick in the sea of ARMY, but as you.
Your fingers tighten around your phone as you settle in. Theyâll look everywhere, you tell yourself, but the sinking feeling remains. Not exactly here. Not you.
Still, you came prepared. Your clear bag opens like a small arsenal of anticipation witn your BTS light stick, snacks you probably wonât eat, tissues you donât need, and the poster you spent too long making.
On it, in bold exaggerated handwriting: "Can you BE MINE? 1 for Yes or 2 for Yes." with a photo of Jimin during MUSE era.
Itâs stupid. Itâs supposed to be stupid. Thatâs the point. Itâs based on Jiminâs solo work. Itâs a silly joke turned into hope turned into a poster that will lead to an interaction instead of just thinking about it as a possibility.
He is your bias after all.
Just the thought that BTS are about to step onto that stage. And more specifically, Park JiminâŠthe PARK Jimin, is about to exist in the same physical space as you again after several years, even if only briefly, even if only in passing light.
You tell yourself that should be enough. He should notice you.
Soundcheck starts with "Swim," then "Alien," then "Fya." Itâs fifteen minutes that feel like they stretch and compress at the same time, like time is reacting to their sound instead of the other way around.
When BTS comes out, the stadium erupts in a kind of sound that feels too much for human lungs. You watch them move like they already know exactly where every camera is, every angle, every expectation.
Their simple, "Whatâs up guys!" are simply three words enough to drive everyone insane, especially you.
Finally, after several years since Permission to Dance in Las Vegas, you are seeing these seven men together again.
Kim Namjoon. Kim Seokjin. Min Yoongi. Jung Hoseok. PARK JIMIN. Kim Taehyung. Jeon Jungkook.
They look effortless in a way that makes you feel slightly unreal for existing in the same space.Â
Kim Namjoon stands tall with his sharp jawline and calm, intelligent eyes.
Kim Seokjin looks effortlessly handsome with his broad shoulders and glowing skin.
Min Yoongi carries that cool, low-key charisma with his pale complexion and sharp cheekbones. Jung Hoseok radiates warm energy, his bright smile and toned physique lighting up the stage. Kim Taehyung looks strikingly handsome with his deep voice aura, defined features, and intense gaze.
Jeon Jungkook lives up to being the golden maknae with his muscular, tattooed arms and messy hair and youthful confidence.Â
And then thereâs Park Jimin, who moves like heâs half-aware of gravity but not fully obeying it, a living Disney princess with his luscious golden locks framing his delicate, ethereal face. He looks so strong, yet so petite. Thatâs your baby.
He circles the stage during "Alien" with the others, and you immediately stand a little straighter, as if that helps. You tippy-toe in your already tall-heeled boots. You lift your poster slightly higher. You even try a small, awkward dance, something to make yourself noticeable, something to separate you from the blur of fans around you.
He comes to your direction during their rounds around the stage.
Oh my god.
Your chest tightens so sharply it feels like it might interrupt the moment itself.
Heâs getting closer now. Close enough that you can see the way his hair sticks slightly to his forehead, the way his expression shifts between focus and warmth depending on where heâs looking.
You raise your poster higher.
"Can you BE MINE? 1 for Yes or 2 for Yes."
Your heart is doing something unhelpful and frantic.
But his eyes donât land on you.
They sweep over your area like a light passing over glass, brief, reflective, gone. Heâs looking lower, closer to the barricade, the very front rows where people are practically reaching into the stage. His attention is anchored there, grounded in proximity.
You are just far enough back to become part of the crowd instead of part of that key moment for him.
He glances at someone else with his signature angelic smile. Waves like a royal prince seeing his lovely commoners he cherishes. And then, he moves on.
Gone in the distance. By that, you mean going to another side of the stage to see more fans.
Just like that.
Opportunity lost.
The disappointment is not immediate due to the euphoria you feel from suddenly seeing him after so long.
But it arrives a few seconds later with your shoulders slumping down, like your body needed time to realize what your mind already understands. You sigh, but itâs muffled by the speakers.
Soundcheck ends quickly after that. The members leave in a blur of coordinated movement and flashing lights, and the stadium slowly deflates into a crowd of noise again, fans talking, laughing, already discussing the moments they just experienced and other miscellaneous topics.
You stay seated.
Long after everyone else begins to shift and stand and stretch and leave for a bathroom and food break, you remain still, your poster resting against your knees like it suddenly weighs more than it did before. As if it wonât let you get up from this spot, remaining stuck on what happened earlier.
Your friends who had been chatting suddenly notice your gloom.
"Itâs okay," one of them says quickly, patting you on the back for comfort. "Itâs just soundcheck. Youâve got the main show with so many chances heâll come back to our side. Heâll definitely see you then."
"Exactly," the other adds. "Your poster is literally iconic. Weâll make sure he doesnât miss it the next time he comes around."
You know theyâre just trying to cheer you up, but you canât help but simply nod and stay quiet. Not saying anything is easierthan explaining that something about what happened already feels like the universe has decided this is how the rest of the night will be. It doesnât include what you wanted at all.
They soon leave to get food, promising to come back before the show starts. Then the rest of the stadiumâs floor empties in waves for a brief moment.
You stay behind, claiming you need to charge your phone, even though itâs really just an excuse. Youâre not in the mood to keep pretending youâre fine. After everything, ten years of being a fan, spending all that money, traveling all this wayâŠyou still feel invisible to these men youâve supported for so long.
Of course you do, you think bitterly. Why would this time be any different? You always build these stupid little delusions in your head, imagining they might actually notice you, and then reality hits you in the face like it always does. You know youâve gotten older and so have they as well. Sooner or later, theyâre just going to get married and that tiniest delusional wish of you being with them, specifically Jimin, will suddenly not be possible. Not like it ever was.
Ugh.
The disappointment sits heavy in your chest. You close yourself off, sinking deeper into that familiar, tired feeling of being too much and not enough at the same time.
You open your bag slowly.
Thatâs when you see it again.
The One Wish Willow box.
It sits at the bottom like itâs been waiting patiently, as if it knew youâd eventually run out of distractions and remember it existed.
Suddenly, an idea sparks in your mind and you grab it out of your bag.
You turn it over in your hands.
6.99. Again, thatâs basically $7. Sevens being associated with BTS, like this was always a sign for you to get it.
This is a joke. A souvenir. A stupid little object from a stupid little shop in a city that thrives on illusions. Reading it, it says to spark the middle and break in half right after saying your wish.
You almost laugh.
"What harm could it do to actually make a wish?" you murmur under your breath.
Itâs not even a question you expect an answer to.
You open the box.
Inside, the One Wish Willow is smaller than you thought. Delicate. Ordinary. Almost pathetic. Like something you could snap between your fingers if you wanted to.
You hold it anyway.
The stadium hums faintly around you. Distant staff and fan movement, echoing sounds from the VCR play around the venue and the lingering ghost of music still trapped in the walls.
You exhale. Youâre really gonna do this.
"I wish Jimin would finally notice me," you say quietly, almost amused at yourself.
Thereâs a pause.
Your brain tries, genuinely tries, to stop you there. To let it remain harmless. A joke. A story you can tell your friends later.
But you donât stop.
Because if youâre going to pretend magic is real, it might as well be honest with magic.
"âŠand that once he does, he canât stop thinking about me. Like I stay in his mind. Like he canât look away, even when he tries. Like heâŠ"
Your grip tightens slightly.
You donât know why it suddenly feels harder to breathe in a building full of air.
You continue anyway.
"âŠlike he falls for me completely and canât stop."
The moment the words leave your mouth, you snap the piece of wood in half. The sharp crack echoes in the quiet space around you.
The air seems to shift. Not dramatically, and not in any way someone else would notice, but you feel it â a faint, almost imperceptible change. A soft jingle-like sound registers in your ears a second after the wish is already spoken.
You sit there for a beat.Â
And
Well⊠nothing happened.Â
Of course nothing happened. Wow, are you even surprised? Another ridiculous, delusional moment added to the list of desperate things youâve done. Did you really thing some joke shop item could make the impossible possible.
You sigh, quickly stuffing the broken willow pieces back into the box and in your bag, embarrassed at yourself for what you just did.
Your phone buzzes beside you, pulling you out of your thoughts. You glance down automatically. A notification lights up the screen from one of your fan update accounts: soundcheck clips are uploading. Thousands of fans are already reacting, flooding the comments with laughing emojis and stories about the interactive moments they got to experience. Moments you didnât.
And somewhere in that noise, a strange thought forms, quiet and uninvited.
Like something heard you.
Like something is listening now.
The stadium floor begins to fill again.
And far away, under stage lights warming up for the main show, Day 1 of 4 starts to feel less like the beginning of just the Las Vegas concerts.
But more like the first time something, or someone, has suddenlyâŠand already chosen you back.
Your friends eventually come back with food in hand, talking over each other about how insane it already feels, how this is only Day 1 and somehow everything already feels so exciting yet overwhelming at the same time.
"Youâre too quiet," one of them says, handing you one of those special BTS alcoholic drink pouches theyâre serving and a paper tray of chicken tenders to share.
"Iâm fine," you reply automatically, grabbing the drink and one chicken tender to eat. You do not mention you embarrassingly pulled out that one wish joke trinket and making an actual wish earlier. "Iâm just anxious for the show to start already,"
You let your friends continue the rest of the conversation, letting their words wash over you while your eyes drift to the main stage again.Â
The long catwalks stretch out like empty roads now, the barricades still lined with early fans trying to capture the perfect shot to show that they made it to the BTS concert and have the "best seats in the house". Staff members move across the floor, taping cables, checking screens, resetting the world for tonightâs main show like nothing supernatural had ever brushed through it.
But you cannot shake the feeling that something did.
Or at least thatâs what you want to believe.
By the time doors open for the general audience for the main concert, the energy shifts completely.
The stadium fills so fast it almost feels violent. Allegiant Stadium becomes a single body exhaling heat, light, and sound all at once. It's also just a bit overwhelming the more and more you think about it and look around. Thousands and thousands of peopleâŠ
The crowd becomes a living thing pressed shoulder to shoulder, lightsticks blooming like a field of synchronized living stars, and VCR music begins to play ominous traditional Korean instrumental tunes.
You and your friends do eventually go to the bathroom together before returning back to your seats discussing surprise songs youâre all hopeful to see, random tweets they saw online, and other yappings about BTS. Things have settled and feel different. Fuller. Heavier. Like whatever happened during soundcheck and you being embarassed by Jimin's lack of attention towards you has been swallowed by something larger.Â
The show that you all came here for.
When the show begins, it begins with a big impact.
"Hooligan" hits first, and the stage explodes into movement. Then "Aliens," then "Run BTS," and the entire stadium screams like it is trying to keep up with its own heartbeat.
BTS move like they are in control of space and gravity again, but you notice something subtle now that you did not during soundcheck. It is not obvious at first. Just small pauses between movements. Slight changes in where attention goes.
And more than anything, you notice Jimin.
He is smiling, performing, spinning into choreography like he always does, but his eyes keep drifting in ways that feel slightly unfocused. Not lost. Just⊠searching. Like he is looking for something he cannot name. His body language also looks off at moments, but maybe you're overthinking it a bit much.
Yeah, maybe you are just imagining it.
But then it happens again during "Fake Love."
He and Yoongi walk toward the extended stage leg closest to your side of the floor. The crowd erupts around you, phones rising like a single wave. You jump excitedly without thinking, lifting your poster again even though your hands are already tired from holding it earlier. Is this rude to the rest of the people behind you? Yes. Did you care, not in the slightest at that moment! You need Jimin to see you at all costs!
"Can you BE MINE? 1 for Yes or 2 for Yes."
You watch him approach.
HuhâŠ? Woah⊠waitâŠ
This time, heâs closer than he was during soundcheck. Close enough that you can see the way his expression tightens slightly when he scans the crowd to hype everyone up.
As he turns, he stops.
Just for a fraction of a second longer than necessary.
His eyes pass over barricade fans first, then to the middle sections, then to you.
You?!
And for a moment, his gaze catches yours and he suddenly looks very elated to find you, like heâs been looking for you his whole life.
He then looks at the poster youâre holding, reading the sign and laughs. Then he raises a peace sign, a two, answering your posterâs question.Â
The moment registers, and you and your friends explode into screams, jumping and clutching each other in pure shock.
Finally. After all these years, he actually noticed you!
Yes, you!
But just as quickly, his expression shifts. His smile falters. He looks away sharply, almost like something yanked his attention elsewhere, and continues moving down the stage. The interaction ends as fast as it started.
You slowly lower your poster, heart still hammering in your chest.
"WOAH! Wait, what just happened?!" one of your friends shouts over the pounding music. "He literally noticed you!! Like, he read your poster and everything!"
"I donât know how I even got this lucky," you answer, your voice sounding distant and shaky, still completely awestruck. "Oh my god, I canât believe he saw me and answered!"
As you speak, a strange mix of excitement and confusion swirls inside you. You and your friends keep fangirling hard, screaming and cheering through the rest of the set, but the rest of the concert continues like a dream that refuses to settle.
Act 2. "Mic Drop" shakes the stadium so hard your ribs feel like they are vibrating separately from your body. Itâs been years since you last saw this song live. "Fire" and "Fya" turns the crowd into pure crazed movement, with other members like Taehyung and Hoseok coming onto your side to hype everyone up.
During "Idol," the members walk the perimeter in a procession, and you catch glimpses of them moving past your section. Namjoon looks out into the crowd with a calm focus which then turns happy and silly, seeing the whole stadium at once and taking the chance to have fun. Jin waves toward a section slightly farther away, laughing at something a fan is doing. Jungkook and Yoongi run ahead of the others briefly, then slows like he remembers he is supposed to stay in formation close to the rest of the members.
But JiminâŠ
Jimin keeps pausing in small, inconsistent ways. Not enough for anyone else to notice if they weren't his fellow members and staff, though just enough for you to start noticing it as a long time fan.Â
Is something wrong?
Earlier before, during a transition, he turned his head toward the stage wings like he heard something offstage. Another time, he looks directly into the crowd again and holds it for a beat too long, then blinks like he is resetting himself.
Your stomach tightens.
You tell yourself it's likely exhaustion. Lights. Noise. Pressure. Anything normal. This is the last stop of the first leg of the World Tour, and maybe he's not feeling 100% right now. Itâs been a few years since theyâve toured and traveled this much after all.
But the thought from earlier returns from when you made the wish.
That weird feeling like something changed.
By the time the encore begins, you are physically drained from all of the standing or screaming you've been doing for over an hour. Itâs been so fun, but man, does it suck everything out of you.
Once "Come Over" starts, everything feels so much more chill from the songs that came before it. In a way, itâs like the stadium is exhaling and slowing down, wrapping up a show you waited months for.
"Butter" makes everyone laugh and sway, the members joking with each other, moving without precision on purpose.
During the "Dynamite" dance break, Jimin spins mid-step and for a brief second looks directly toward the center sections again around the area you are at.
And again, it is like something inside him stutters.
Like he is trying to focus, but thereâs one thing thatâs causing him to fail.
The surprise songs hit differently.
"Permission to Dance" shocks fans at its sudden return to being played, to the dismay of some, but it brings back some soft memories from the Permission to Dance tour. "Go Go" right after is chaotic and playful, but even then, you notice Jimin lagging half a beat behind the others at one point, then correcting himself instantly like it never happened. He laughs it off, but you can tell members like Taehyung catch it immediately that this isn't normal for Jimin.
You hope everything is alright and that he isn't pushing himself too hard.
The final stretch of the concert slows everything down. The members do their ending ments, thanking fans for coming to Vegas, mentioning how they know many travelled fair to be there and also coming back to this venue after 4 years. Time surely has passed.
Jimin's ending ment is very normal during this part with him just teasing fans to make some noise and hoping everyone gets home safely after the show.
Last two songs are up.
"Please" has them sitting on the rotating main stage, turning slowly so every side of Allegiant Stadium gets to see BTS full and clearly. The crowd is still loud, but it is now singing softly. Itâs starting to feel emotional enough with everyoneâs collective fatigue and joy mixing together.
You watch Jimin during that rotation, recording with your phone for some fancam clips to have as memories.
You zoom in with your phone and see that he is smiling again. Now, playing around with Yoongi who keeps poking at him, followed by Jungkook who slaps his knees.
Your typical "boys"Â in their natural setting.Â
But every so often, his eyes flick toward your section again. And again.
He stares deeply, as if heâs trying to findâŠyou, but his contacts donât let him do that.
Maybe youâre just making this scenario up in your head.Â
Then "Into the Sun" begins.
It feels like the entire stadium holds its breath for a second before the lights shift into warm golds and soft oranges. The end of the show. The opening notes wash over the crowd, and the energy changes instantly. You spot Jimin stepping forward under the glowing lights, his golden hair catching every beam as he moves across the stage with that effortless, floating grace.
The members stand at the edge of the stage, waving, lingering, and walking backward as if refusing to fully leave yet. The stadium roars with everything it has left, a wall of sound that vibrates in your chest like it could keep them there forever.
And then it is over.Â
The lights come up gradually at first, then all at once.
Harsh, white, and unforgiving. Reality forcing itself back in like waking up suddenly after having a beautiful dream. You donât want to leave yet!
The crowd seems to share the same sentiment as they also donât move right away. Everyone just stands there, stunned into a lingering, messy noise until they finally start shuffling out. Some still full of energy, some already crying, a few calling out names that wonât be answered by BTS again tonight. The magic drains slowly, like water slipping through cupped hands.
Back to reality, you suppose.
Your friends stay frozen beside you for a long second. Then the disbelief spills out.
"I canât believe Day 1 is actually over," one of them says, voice cracking. "It doesnât feel real that we finally saw them all together after four years."
Another lets out a shaky laugh and rubs her face with both hands. "Iâm literally not ready to leave. How are we supposed to just go home after that?"
"How do we go home when this feels like home?" you murmur, throat tight. The words make one of your friends tear up. The stadium lights suddenly feel too bright against your own wet eyes.
"Youâre so rightâŠ" the first friend says softly. Then she tries to rally. "But hey, weâve still got tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday."
A half-hearted "Yay" ripples through your little group. It comes out flat, tired, and sarcastic. You join in, but it sounds more like a groan. You promise youâre excited, but just for now, very, VERY tired.
Tomorrow suddenly feels less like a gift to see BTS again and more like the last step toward the edge of a cliff youâll fall off of due to post-concert fatigue.Â
Your friend grabs your arm anyway, gently pulling you forward before the body ache can settle too deep.
"Can we take some photos?," one says, already steering you toward the barricade. "We have to get some barricade pictures while itâs emptying out. Come on."
You follow and comply because itâs easier than thinking. Easier than sitting still with your body suddenly too aware of itself. Legs shaky, chest hollow, every chorus still ringing in your ears. Maybe you shouldâve bought those LOOP earplugs because itâs gonna be a very long weak for your deafening ears at this rate.
The barricade and overall fall area is calmer now, still crowded but manageable. Fans take turns posing, laughing, and recreating tiktok poses for their photos to share on their socials later on.
You take a few photos with your friends. You smile when youâre supposed to. You hold up your lightstick and try to match their energy.
But your feet hurt. Your entire body feels like itâs been emptied and refilled too many times in one night.
Eventually you drift away from them, letting your friends keep taking pictures while you sink into a random empty aisle seat closer to the back of the floor. It isnât your seat. You donât care. Doesnât matter at this point anyways.
You lean forward, unlacing your boots with slow fingers. The floor feels colder than you expect. You pull out your foldable flats from your bag and slip them on, exhaling like you have been holding your breath for hours. You put your boots away in a reusable bag you had folded up in your main bag.
The thought of walking back to the hotel already makes your legs ache. The Strip will be chaos. Fans everywhere. Regular Las Vegas tourists everywhere as well. Glittering noise and traffic and exhaustion all wrapped together in multiple directions.
"Fans are packed together just like sardines," one of your friends had called it earlier.
It feels accurate now seeing everyone trying to get out of the stadium with no BTS in it. Theyâve probably left by now. Good on them for going back to eat and rest, you need to do that too.
You lean back in the seat for just a few seconds, holding onto your clear bag of stuff and your shoe bag, looking at your friends still focused on getting the right angles for their pictures.
But thatâs when it happens.
A hand grabs your arm.
Firm. Immediate. Real.
You are pulled sideways before your brain fully processes what is happening, taking a strong hold of your bags before they slip off.
"Waitâ" you start, voice rising instantly, shock snapping through your body.Â
The grip tightens and drags you faster, away from your seat, away from your friends, toward one of the darkened tunnels that leads backstage.
Your breath catches hard.
Who is this person and where are they taking you?!
The direction BTS disappeared into? Why?Â
Your instinct is to scream.Â
You almost do.
But the person stops abruptly and turns slightly, sensing it before it happens. A hand rises quickly, finger pressed to a masked mouth in a clear shushing gesture.
"ìŹ," the man says quietly. ["Shh."]
Your heart slams so hard it feels like it is trying to leave your chest.
The man is small-framed, a bit taller than you, wearing an oversized hoodie that swallows his body shape completely. He is wearing some kind of access pass with AAA on it. He dons on a mask and the hood covers most of his face, leaving only his eyes visible.
And when you see those eyes properly, everything in you goes still in a way you had once joked about.
Not panic.
Not excitement.
Just a total system freeze.
Because your brain refuses to accept what your eyes are showing you.
Because it just canâtâŠ
No.
No way.
That is notâ
The man pulls you further into the tunnel, away from the noise of the stadium, deeper into the dim backstage corridor where everything sounds distant and muffled.
Your mind finally catches up to your body.
This is how you thought it would go, once, in a very delusional dream you had many years ago about BTS at the Speak Yourself tour when you were still in college.Â
You left the stadium in the dream and a BTS member suddenly stopped you before you went out just to talk to you about how you liked the show. You immediately laughed it off once you woke up.
Yes, itâs a bit different and not like this. But itâs supposed to be a dream. Not possible at all. Â
If something like that ever happened, you had told yourself you would freeze up. You will not scream. You will not move. You will just accept whatever they do or say because it cannot be real anyway.
And now you are doing exactly that.
Because the man glances back at you again, and the mask shifts slightly as he turns.
And when you meet his eyes properly this time, there is no room left for doubt.
It is him.
Jimin.
He is staring at you like he is still trying to confirm something.
Then, in a low voice, barely above a breath, he speaks in Korean first.
He lets out a short exhale that sounds almost like relief, then shifts his grip slightly, still holding your arm but gentler now, guiding instead of dragging.
Then he adds, in careful English, softer and more deliberate than before.
"Sorry, I need you to come with me. Just for a moment."
Your legs move because he is moving.
Not because you decided.
Because something in your brain has completely stopped arguing.
And as the tunnel opens further into the backstage world, where lights are colder and voices are lower and everything feels like it is happening behind reality instead of inside it, one thought repeats in your head over and over again.
Again, this is not supposed to be happening.
And yet it is.
The corridor behind the main tunnel is nothing like the stadium.
The sound drops off so sharply it feels like your ears are malfunctioning. One moment there are 50,000+ people screaming somewhere behind concrete and steel, and the next there is only the hum of emergency lighting and the distant vibration of machinery you cannot see.
Jimin keeps walking until the noise of tour staff, venue staff, and other stagehands fades completely.
You try to count doors as you pass them. You lose track after the third.
He finally stops in a narrow stretch of corridor that looks abandoned, like it exists only for maintenance and forgotten movement. No staff. No cameras in obvious sight. Just pale walls and a flickering light overhead that makes everything feel slightly unreal.
He releases your arm.
For a second, you do not move. You just stand there, staring at him in the hoodie and mask. Youâre not sure if you look scared or fascinated, but your brain is still refusing to fully translate what is happening into something logical.
Then he exhales, like he has been holding something in since earlier.
And suddenly, he steps forward.
Fast.
And you instinctively move back before you can process it, which leads to your back hitting the wall.
Not painfully. Not violently.
But firmly enough that your body registers it as a full stop with nowhere to go.
Your breath catches sharply, eyes widening instantly as your hands lift slightly between you and him out of pure reflex.
He is close now. Too close for any normal backstage interaction. Close enough that you can see the slight uneven rise and fall of his chest, like even he is not fully steady.
The mask is still on, but his eyes are completely uncovered now that the oversized hood of his hoodie falls off.
Jimin is not performing anymore.
Jimin is focused.
Locked in.
On you.
Your voice tries to form something in Korean, but it does not make it out.
He takes his mask off and speaks first, in Korean.Â
Voice low and controlled, but very clear. However, there is something strained underneath it, like the words are being pulled out instead of chosen by him.
"ì€ëâŠ" he starts, then pauses, as if correcting himself mid-thought. "ì€ë ì ëëĄ ëȘ»íìŽì." ["Today⊠I couldn't do my best."]
Your brows knit slightly. You know some Korean, so you're only able to catch fragments of words. Today. Could not. Best.
You do not question why he is speaking to you in a language that you don't really understand, mainly due to being a bit nervous of killing the vibe right now. You will listen to him say anything even if you canât comprehend it because you canât even comprehend the situation youâre in right now!
Jimin doesnât notice this spiral of internal thoughts of yours and continues speaking, not looking away from you at all. "êłì ëčì ì ì°ŸìŒë €êł íìŽì." ["I kept trying to look for you."]
Your breath stutters.
That word. ëčì .
You know enough Korean to understand the weight of it. You. You specifically. You said in an endearing way.
His hand lifts slightly, then stops midway, like he is unsure whether he should touch you again or not.
He continues anyway, voice tightening just a little.
His gaze flickers across your face like he is checking whether you are still here, still real, still reacting.
Then he exhales through his nose, a sound that is almost frustrated with himself.
"ë¶ìíìŽì." ["I felt anxious."]
Silence drops between you.
It is not empty.
It is full.
Full of the stadium somewhere behind you. Full of the fact that this is Jimin. Full of the fact that he is standing too close, speaking like you are not a stranger he just pulled into a corridor five minutes ago.
Your mouth opens slightly.
Nothing comes out.
Your brain finally forces a question to the surface.
"Sorry, what do you mean exactly?"
He watches your confusion register. His eyes soften slightly, and for the first time there is a crack in the intensity, like he realizes you are not following everything and must figure out better words to reach you.
He shifts, leaning back just a fraction, giving you the smallest amount of space against the wall.
Then he switches to English.
His words are carefully thought out, "I kept losing focus on stage."
Your own breath is still unsteady, but at least now you can understand him clearly.
He continues, eyes still locked on yours.
"I would be performing, and then I would look for a second, and you were not in my sight."
A pause.
His fingers curl slightly at his side, like he is restraining something restless in his own body.
"And I could not stop thinking about it."
Your heart is beating so hard it feels loud in your ears again, even without the stadium.
You manage a small, broken sound. Not a word. Just disbelief trying to become speech.
He nods once, like he understands that reaction more than he wants to.
Then he speaks again, softer now, but no less direct.
"I do not know why it was happening today."
His eyes move over your face again, slower this time, like he is trying to confirm something that still does not make sense even to him.
"I have performed hundreds of times," he says. "But today⊠I kept feeling like I needed to see you."
The word see lands heavier this time.
Not just notice.
Not just a glance.
See.
Like you were supposed to be part of something that he could not complete without you being there.
Your back is still against the wall. His proximity has not changed much, only softened at the edges.
And then he adds, quieter, almost like he is admitting something he did not plan to say out loud.
"I thought I was imagining it at first."
A beat.
"But it kept happening again."
He tilts his head slightly, studying you with an intensity that makes your stomach flip and feel like itâd be better to disappear at this moment. This may be too much for you to handle, but you will hold on to dear life for him to keep going with his words.
"And when I finally saw you clearly during âFake LoveââŠ" he pauses, swallowing slightly. "It felt like something clicked."
Your fingers tighten slightly against the wall behind you, grounding yourself in something physical because nothing else feels stable.
You finally force yourself to speak again, though your voice is thin, and a bit nervous.
"You⊠you saw me?"
That is all you can manage. Stupidest question ever since you know he did and acknowledged your poster, but double confirmation from him would be nice.
He nods immediately.
"Yes."
Simple.
Absolute.
No hesitation.
Then, after a pause that feels heavier than anything before it, he adds in English again, quieter now.
"I could not stop looking after that."
The corridor hums faintly.
Somewhere far away, staff voices echo briefly, then fade again.
He does not move away.
You do not move either.
And in the strange silence between a stadium of people leaving and a hallway meant for nobody, it becomes very clear that whatever this is, it did not end when the concert did.
Your mind latches onto the only logical thread it can find, even as your body refuses to fully cooperate with logic anymore.
Did it actually work?
Did the One Wish Willow actually fucking work?
That stupid seven-dollar box sitting at the bottom of your bag. A whole joke toy. A souvenir or whatever. Something you were supposed to laugh about as a trinket from Vegas upon returning home.
Now nothing about this feels like a joke.
Jimin is still standing in front of you.
Too close. Too real.
And then his hands lift. Slowly. Carefully.
As he moves, your eyes catch the small, delicate "13" tattoo on his left wrist, inked in clean, black lines. The sight hits you hard. Another real sign. This is actually him. Park Jimin.
He cups your face like heâs testing whether you are solid and real as well. His palms are warm against the chill of the hallway air, thumbs resting gently under your cheekbones. For a moment, his expression tightens again, like even this gentle contact isnât enough to settle whatever is storming inside him.
His voice drops, and this time he speaks in Korean again, slower than before, like he is choosing each word as it comes out.
"ëłŒìëĄâŠ" he murmurs. ["The more I look at youâŠ"]
His gaze drags over your face like he is trying to memorize it in real time.
"ë넌âŠ" he continues, then stops briefly, exhaling through his nose. ["YouâŠ"]
Then he finishes it, voice quieter but heavier.
"ê°ì§êł ì¶ìŽì ž." ["I want to have you."]
A pause.
Not loud. Not dramatic.
Just heavy in the way silence becomes heavy when someone says something they were not supposed to say out loud.
His thumbs press slightly more firmly against your cheeks, not painful, but enough that you feel the intensity sharpen.
"ê·žë„ ëłŽë 걞ëĄë ë¶ìĄ±íŽ." ["Just looking is not enough."]
Your breath catches.
Not because you understand everything perfectly, but because you understand enough.
Enough to feel the meaning behind it pressing into the space between you.
His eyes flicker across yours again, like he is checking your reaction, and something in him seems to lean forward before he consciously decides to follow it.
The distance between you disappears further. The distance between you vanishes.
Jiminâs mouth finds yours like heâs been starving for it, slow at first, almost reverent, lips soft and plush as they press against yours. Then the hunger takes over. His hands slide from your cheeks into your hair, gripping just tight enough to tilt your head back as he deepens the kiss. His tongue slips past your lips, hot and insistent, tasting you like he wants to devour every small sound you make.
You moan into his mouth and he answers with a low, throaty sound of his own, pressing you back against the cool wall of the hallway. His body is solid heat against yours, firm chest, narrow waist, the hard line of his thigh pushing between your legs. One of his hands drops to your hip, fingers digging in as he rolls his hips forward, letting you feel exactly how much he wants you.
"FuckâŠ" he breathes against your lips in English this time, the word ragged. Then heâs kissing you again, filthier, tongue stroking deep and slow while his hand slides under the hem of your shirt. His palm is scorching against your bare skin, fingertips tracing up your ribs until he cups your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple through your thin bra. It pebbles instantly under his touch and he groans, pinching lightly, rolling it until your back arches off the wall.
You clutch at his shoulders, the ash hoodie fabric bunching in your fists. Heâs still in stage clothes underneath, sweat-damp tank top clinging to his body, and the scent of him fills your head: clean sweat, faint cologne, and something darker, purely him. You suck on his tongue and he shudders, grinding harder against you, the very obvious ridge of his cock pressing insistently against your thigh.
"ë ë돞ìâŠ" he pants between kisses, voice wrecked. "ìŽë êČ ëìŽâŠ [Because of you⊠Iâm like thisâŠ]"
His mouth trails down to your jaw, then your neck. He bites, sharp enough to sting, then soothes it with his tongue, sucking a mark right below your ear while his hand squeezes your breast harder. Your hips jerk against his thigh, chasing friction, and he chuckles darkly against your skin before kissing you again, messier this time. Lips wet, tongues sliding, spit-slick and desperate. His free hand grips your ass, pulling you tighter against him so you can feel every inch of his hardness rocking against you.
Youâre both breathing hard, almost panting into each otherâs mouths. His forehead rests against yours for half a second, eyes half-lidded and glassy with want, before he dives back in-kissing you like the world is ending, like this stolen hallway is the only place left. One of your hands slips under his hoodie, nails dragging down his back, and he hisses, hips snapping forward again in response.
Heâs just starting to push your shirt higher, mouth moving down toward your chest, whenâ
A sound cuts through the hallway.
Footsteps.
Sharp. Controlled. Fast.
A voice follows immediately, colder than everything else in the corridor.
"ì§ëŻŒì." ["Jimin."]
The spell breaks instantly for a moment.
Jiminâs hands drop from your face immediately like he has been shocked by you. His entire posture changes in a single snap, shoulders tightening, breath shifting.
He turns his head towards the voice.
Namjoon is now standing at the end of the corridor, with an expression that is not confused at first.
Itâs initially sharp, but then it turns fully into disbelief. Like he cannot believe what his fellow band member is doing right now.
His eyes move from Jimin to you, then back to Jimin.
"ë íë ê±°ìŒ?" ["What the hell are you doing?"]
Jimin takes a half step back so quickly it looks involuntary, like his body is suddenly remembering it is supposed to have boundaries. "ìšë°âŠWhat theâŠfuck?" his eyes widen, and mutters under his breath, but not directed at anyone in particular, like he is realizing the situation at the exact same time everyone else is.
He looks down briefly, running a hand over his face, then moves slightly away from you as if trying to physically reset himself.
The shift is so abrupt it makes your stomach drop and a bit hurt by the actiom. Whatâs even going on right now?
Itâs as if someone just turned the volume of reality back on too fast and this idol that was all over you is suddenly, and really, just a stranger after all.
Namjoon steps closer, eyes narrowing as he takes in the corridor, the distance between you and Jimin, the way Jimin is standing like he is trying to reassemble his own thoughts. Heâs probably more confused now, and you understand that too.
"ëŹŽìš ìŒìŽìŒ?" Namjoon asks, voice controlled but clearly strained. ["What is going on?"]
Jimin does not answer immediately.
Namjoon exhales harshly, looking between you both again.
"ì€ííë€ìŽ êłì ì°Ÿêł ìììŽ." ["The staff have been looking for you everywhere."]
Silence again.
Then Namjoonâs eyes flick to you again, slower this time, assessing.
Jimin suddenly lets out a short, but strange laugh.
It is not the kind of laugh that belongs in this moment.
It is too light.
Too detached.
Namjoon finds this uncomfortable, his expression shifting.
"ì ììŽ?" ["Why are you laughing?"]
Jimin tilts his head slightly, still half turned away, then looks back at you like he has just remembered you are there in a different way than before.
Then he says, in Korean, almost casually and flirtatiously:
"ê·žë„âŠ ìŽ íŹìŽ ëì ë€ìŽìì." ["Just⊠this fan caught my eye."]
His gaze lingers on you.
Then he adds, slower:
"ê°ìŽ ë°ë €ê°êł ì¶ììŽ." ["I wanted to bring her with me."]
Namjoon scoffs immediately.
"íží êčì§?" ["To the hotel?"] His disbelief sharpens. "ë ì§êž ì°ëŠŹ ì ë¶ ë€ ê±žêł ê·žë° ì§ì í ê±°ìŒ?" ["Youâre putting all of our reputations on the line for that?"]
He gestures between Jimin and the corridor like he cannot believe he is having to say this out loud. "ê·žë„ ë°ë €ê°ì ìŹêž°ì í€ì€ëŒë íë €êł í ê±°ìŒ?" ["Did you just drag her here to kiss her in a hallway?"]
The air goes completely still. This time it isnât charged with only tension, but it also feels heavy with consequences that are yet to come.
Jimin opens his mouth like heâs about to respond, then closes it again. His expression flickers, as if heâs trying to hold onto a thought that keeps slipping away. Then, unexpectedly, a soft laugh escapes him. It starts quiet, almost disbelieving, before growing just a little stronger.
Namjoon stares at him like he is no longer sure who he is looking at.
You donât move. You barely breathe. You have no idea whether you should even be here for this conversation. This seems like the moment you should slowly walk away.
Jimin finally turns to look at Namjoon properly, still smiling faintly like the entire situation feels slightly unreal to him.
Then he says in Korean, calm and quiet:
"í, ê·žë„ ììŽëĄ ë§íŽì€." ["Hyung, just tell her in English."]
A pause.
Namjoon blinks. "ëëŒêł ? ê±íí ëëŒêł ë§íëŒêł ?" he asks, voice flat with disbelief. ["What? Tell her what?"]
Jimin tilts his head slightly toward you again, eyes briefly sharpening as if refocusing on the original thread that started all of this.
His voice lowers when he speaks next, calmer now, but still unsettling in its certainty.
"ê·žë„ ììŽëĄ ë§íŽì€." he says first, almost absentmindedly, like he is setting the tone of the moment for himself. ["Just say it in English."]
Then, after a beat, he adds in Korean, slower, deliberate, as if each word has already been decided and there is no room left to argue with it.
"...ë°ë €ê°ë€êł ë§íŽ." ["...Tell her sheâs coming with us."]
Namjoon does not move right away.
The word hangs in the corridor like something physically uncomfortable.
"ë°ë €ê°ë€êł ?" he repeats, slower this time, like saying it again might make it make sense. ["Bring her with us?"]
His eyes flick to Jimin first. Then to you. Then back again, sharper now.
"ì§ëŻŒì, ë ì§êž ëŹŽìš ë§ íëì§ ìì?" ["Jimin, do you know what you are saying right now?"]
Jimin does not look away.
He stands straighter now, like the earlier instability has been replaced with something more fixed, more certain in a way that is almost worse.
"I know," he says simply in Korean, then exhales once. "ìì." ["I know."]
Namjoon lets out a quiet breath through his nose, frustration and concern mixing in a way that makes his voice drop lower.
"ìêčë¶í° ìŽìíìŽ." ["Youâve been strange since earlier."]
He gestures slightly toward Jimin, controlled but tense.
"돎ëììë ì§ì€ìŽ êłì ëêČŒêł , ì€ííë€ë 뎀ìŽ." ["Even on stage, you kept losing focus, and the staff noticed."]
Again, his gaze sharpens as he continues to scold and interrogate the younger member, but he says nothing back.
"ìŽê±° ê·žë„ ëêžž 돞ì ê° ìëìŒ." ["This is not something we can just ignore."]
Jiminâs jaw tightens slightly, but he still does not step back or rile up his leader further.
Namjoon finally looks at you properly now, like he is now deciding to include you in something he did not plan for. It makes you nervous. He is your bias wrecker after all and all this serious business is making you worried.
Then he switches to English, voice softer but very deliberate.
"I need you to listen carefully."
You swallow.
He glances briefly back at Jimin before continuing.
"Jimin wants you to come with us."
A pause.
Not dramatic. Just heavy. The kind of pause where you hear something so insane that a single second stretches long enough for your pulse to beat twice, three times, while your brain tries to assemble the sentence into something that makes sense.
"OkayâŠ" The word comes out before you can stop it. Neutral. But sounds question shaped. A placeholder while your mind scrambles for footing for more words.
Namjoon's expression tightens slightly. Not anger. Something closer to the careful patience of someone explaining the rules of a game you haven't agreed to play and have never played before.
He adds, more carefully now, "But you need to understand⊠this is not normal."
His eyes flick down the corridor, checking for what? Security? Staff? Other fans spilling out of nearby exits? Then back to you.
"I think he is going through something. Mentally. Like a crisis. I don't know what triggered it, but this behavior is not like him."
Behind Namjoon, Jimin says nothing. Doesn't move. Just keeps smiling that small, knowing smile, watching you like you are the only person left in the world.Â
Something cold traces down your spine. Not fear. Not yet. But the awareness that the ground has shifted beneath your feet, and you haven't noticed until just now.
Namjoon's voice drops lower, pulling your attention back.
"I am not letting you be pressured." He says it like a fact. Like a line he has already drawn in his own mind and will not cross. "But I also cannot just leave you like this in the middle of Allegiant Stadium."
He exhales, a slow controlled breath, and takes a step slightly closer to you. Close enough that the ambient noise of the departing crowd seems to recede. Close enough that his next words feel like they are being placed directly into your ribs.
"If you come with us, you have to stay calm. You do not post anything. You do not record anything. You do not argue. You just go where we go and we will figure this out."
His eyes arenât cruel, but they are precise in itsâ focus. The sharp, calculating gaze of a leader who knows the margin for error has just shrunk to almost nothing.
"And you tell your friends you left with other people from the concert. Other friends," he says firmly. "Tell them youâll be back at their hotel tomorrow. You understand?"
A beat passes. His voice softens just slightly. "Can you do that?"
"Yes." The word slips out before you can even think. You feel heat rise to your cheeks, embarrassed by how quickly you agreed and by how much his authoritative tone affects you. Itâs one of the things youâve always loved about him and made him your bias wrecker.
The moment the answer leaves your mouth, your phone buzzes with a notification in your hand.
You glance down instinctively and try to open it, but no signal.
No signal?
Thatâs strange. The stadium had been packed all night and your service had been fine. Now the bars at the top of the screen are completely gone, replaced by a small, blinking icon you donât recognize.
Then the screen stutters. Ghost inputs appear. The edges of your wallpaper flicker and pixelate into gray static for a split second. The phone dims and not the normal fade of low battery or auto-brightness, but something unnatural. Like something is actively draining the life from it in real time.
It goes dark. Then lights up again, dimmer. Then it turns dark. Then dim.
Namjoon notices immediately. You see the exact moment it registers and the slight hitch in his breathing with the way his gaze drops to your hand for half a second too long.
"Thatâs fine," he says quickly, his tone smooth and reassuring, already trying to paper over the strange moment. "The stadium network probably got overloaded. Just tell them you couldnât contact them and share your location later."
His voice stays steady, but you catch the new layer of tension running underneath it.
Jimin finally speaks again, quietly in Korean.
"í, ëčšëŠŹ ê°." ["Hyung, letâs go quickly."]
Namjoon does not respond immediately. His eyes stay on you for another second, like he is still deciding whether this is a mistake that can be stopped.
Then he exhales once, sharply.
"Okay," he says in English, more to himself than anyone else.
He turns slightly, gesturing down the corridor.
"Follow me."
The walk feels unreal.
Not fast. Not chaotic.
Controlled, like your body has been inserted into someone elseâs plan and is now expected to cooperate.
The corridors shift from narrow backstage passages into wider service halls. You pass staff areas, locked doors, rolling equipment cases. Every sound feels muted, like the building is underwater now.
Then you reach the loading area.
The air changes again.
Colder. More open. Outside doors are partially raised, letting in flashes of Las Vegas night light, distant traffic, and the lingering echo of a stadium that is still emptying out behind you.
A black Escalade is already waiting.
Engine running.
Lights on.
Other members are not here.
Just this.
Just Namjoon, Jimin, and you.
Security is stationed nearby. A few staff members in BTS tour uniforms. And near the vehicle, a man you recognize from earlier briefings, likely head of security, labeled Mr Lee by the staff.
He looks at you immediately.
Not with curiosity.
With assessment.
Like you are a problem that has entered a controlled environment.
His eyes flick between you, Jimin, and Namjoon in quick succession.
One of the security staff leans slightly toward Mr Lee, speaking under his breath.
Namjoon notices immediately and steps forward before it escalates.
"êŽì°źìì." he says firmly in Korean. ["Itâs okay."]
Then he switches to English for clarity, voice calm but authoritative.
"Sheâs with me. Sheâs a friend."
There is a pause.
The security team does not look convinced.
Mr Leeâs gaze lingers on you a moment longer than comfortable, then shifts back to Namjoon.
A quiet exchange happens between them without words needing to be said.
Then, finally, Mr Lee gives a short nod.
No approval.
Just acceptance of responsibility being transferred.
No one argues out loud, but the air says everything anyway.
Namjoon opens the door to the Escalade.
"Get in," he says gently, looking at you again. You do.
Behind him, Jimin is already waiting, eyes fixated on you like the decision was never really open to question at all.
And the night outside of the venue, fans continue to walk home, unaware that something with bts has already changed direction completely.
The black Escalade pulls away from Allegiant Stadium smoothly and disappears into the Las Vegas night with dark windows and practiced timing. Outside, the Strip is exactly what you imagined it would be after Day 1 of a BTS concert. Thousands of people flood the sidewalks in every direction to get back home or to their hotels. Lightsticks still glow in peopleâs hands. Fans carry banners rolled under their arms and film themselves while walking in crowds thick enough to slow traffic. Cars inch forward beneath giant LED billboards and neon reflections.
You should be out there.
You should be squeezed between your friends, complaining that your feet hurt and replaying every moment from the show. You should be hearing someone insist Jimin definitely looked in your direction at one point. You should be heading back to the ARIA, where you're staying at, and deciding whether overpriced room service is worth it. Or if you should door dash some food from somewhere.
Instead, youâre here.
Inside a black SUV.
With Jimin and Namjoon.
This car ride feels wrong in the same way certain dreams feel wrong. Not frightening at first, just set up incorrectly, with pieces that belong to different realities forced into the same scene. A bit uncanny, some might say.
Finally, as you have moved away from the stadium, your regular 5G data loads. You unlock your phone.
The screen flickers for a second before stabilizing and immediately reveals a flood of notifications you couldnât see earlier.
Friend 1: WHERE ARE YOU HELLO????
Friend 2: DID U LEAVE WITHOUT US?? WHERE'D YOU GO?
Friend 1:YOU LEFT YOUR POSTER BTW I'LL SAVE IT.
Friend 2: PLEASE LET US KNOW YOUâRE OKAY!
You stare at the keyboard.
Your fingers hover for longer than necessary.
Eventually you type:
you: sorry!! ran into some friends from online and hanging out for a bit đ my phone is glitching rn and i cant share location
you: but im okay!! donât wait up if iâm late!
You stare at the message again after sending it. It looks normal enough. Weird, but not alarming. Your friends know concerts are chaotic. People split up all the time.
You lock your phone.
Only then do you realize one of your hands feels warm.
You look down.
Jimin is holding it.
There is nothing dramatic about it. His fingers are loosely intertwined with yours between the seats as though he reached over without thinking and never stopped. He isnât gripping tightly. He isnât even looking at your hand.
Heâs looking at you.
Not glancing.
Looking.
Youâve spent years watching performances, interviews, clips, fan interactions, livestreams. You know his expressions. You know what his performance face looks like. You know what his fanservice face looks like. You know what his polite public smile looks like.
This isnât any of those.
His eyes look almost unfocused around the edges, soft in a way that makes your stomach feel strange. Like he found something unexpectedly beautiful and cannot stop checking whether itâs still there.
His thumb brushes lightly across your knuckles once.
You look away first.
On your other side, Namjoon sits with his elbow resting against the door. His expression is neutral, but not relaxed. His phone keeps lighting up. You accidentally catch pieces of the group chat reflected faintly in the screen.
Jungkook asking where they are.
Taehyung asking if everyoneâs alive.
Jin saying staff is really upset with them right now.
Namjoon types for a while.
Namjoon: Found him. Coming back. Will explain.
Then another message appears.
Namjoon: Actually.
Namjoon: Somethingâs weird.
He sends it.
Locks the screen.
And goes back to staring out the tinted window.
After a while he finally turns slightly toward you and says in English, quietly enough that it feels private, "You okay?"
You blink.
The question feels too normal.
You swallow and answer honestly. "I think so."
Namjoon nods once and looks away again before saying, "You donât have to be afraid," then pauses briefly before adding, "but I know this is strange."
You almost laugh.
Strange feels like the wrong word for being pulled out of a stadium by your celebrity crush after making a suspiciously specific wish to a fake magic item.
The ride ends before your brain can finish processing any of it.
Eventually the scenery outside changes. The Strip becomes cleaner. Taller. More expensive.
Then the SUV turns and your eyes widen slightly when you realize where.
The Waldorf Astoria.
Which feels absurd because you and your friends are staying at ARIA. Practically next door.
The car doesn't approach the front entrance. Instead it descends into a private underground level. Concrete walls. Controlled access. Security checkpoints. Quiet lighting. The kind of infrastructure designed specifically so famous people never have to become public if they don't want to.
The vehicle comes to a smooth stop. Before anyone can speak, Jimin opens the door and gets out. Then he immediately turns and reaches for you. You grab your things and take his hand because, apparently, that is what your body does now. You are not questioning anything right now. He pulls gently but decisively, and suddenly you're moving again. Namjoon unfolds his tall frame from the backseat and follows behind with the energy of someone who has accepted this situation without approving of it.
You're led through the garage toward a set of elevators tucked behind another secured entry point. Private elevators. No guests. No chance encounters with fans or sasaengs. Jimin pulls you inside, grip firm and possessive, and Namjoon steps in right after you, earning a visible eye roll from Jimin.
Jimin presses the button to close the elevator doors immediately before any of their staff could enter with them. Three's already a crowd.
Once again you're sandwiched tightly between them, Jimin in front of you, Namjoon behind. No space. No escape. The elevator starts its smooth ascent and your pulse spikes.
Oh god, not here. Not with both of them like this. Your mind races. You can feel every inch of them. Your clothes are wrinkled, your makeup is ruined, and these stupid foldable flats make you feel small and unprepared.
Jimin notices the split second your eyes flick toward Namjoon. His expression shifts instantly, still calm, but now sharply attentive. He leans in closer, chest brushing yours, and murmurs low against your ear in Korean.
"ìŹêž° ëŽì." Look at me.
Your face burns as you obey. The second your gaze meets his, his eyes soften with dark satisfaction. Then he dips his head without hesitation.
His lips find the side of your neck, hot and deliberate. He kisses you open mouthed, slow and wet, sucking gently at first before dragging his teeth along your pulse point. A helpless little whimper escapes your throat before you can stop it. Embarrassment floods you. Namjoon is right there, inches away, witnessing every second of this. But the shame only makes your body react stronger as heat pools low in your belly.
Jimin smiles against your skin, clearly loving it. He loves the sound you made, loves how you tremble knowing you have an audience. His hand slides around your waist, pulling you tighter against him as he kisses lower, sucking harder at the sensitive spot just above your collarbone. His tongue traces slow, filthy circles before he nips again, hard enough to make you gasp.
You can feel Namjoon's solid warmth at your back, his body heat radiating through your clothes. The elevator feels impossibly small with these two men so close to you. Jimin's free hand trails up your side, thumb deliberately brushing the underside of your breast through your dress, teasing the curve as his mouth continues its assault on your neck. Licking. Sucking. Marking you.
Another needy, breathy moan slips out of you. Jimin's grip tightens possessively, his breath hot and ragged against your damp skin. He's completely lost in teasing you now, staring deeply into your eyes whenever he pulls back for air, his gaze hooded and hungry.
Behind you, Namjoon clears his throat. Loudly. He stares fixedly at the glowing floor numbers like they are the most fascinating thing in the world, his jaw tight, his ears visibly red. This is probably one of the most embarrassing moments of his life, and he can't believe Jimin's audacity right now to do all this to you.Â
Mortified of being watched by your bias wrecker and any other things Jimin might do, you push weakly at him chest, your voice shaky and breathless. "Jimin, Namjoon is right here. Let's save this for when we're alone."
Jimin scoffs, low and amused, his lips still grazing your flushed, marked neck. He steals one last slow, deliberate kiss right under your jaw, tongue flicking teasingly, before he finally pulls back. His eyes stay locked on yours, dark and full of filthy promise.
The elevator doors open with a soft ding.
The hallway outside is quiet and expensive in a way only luxury hotels can be. Thick carpet. Soft lighting. Closed suite doors.
Before Namjoon fully exits, Jimin moves.
He takes your wrist and starts walking quickly.
"ì§ëŻŒì," Namjoon calls.
Jimin doesnât stop.
One door.
A keycard.
A green light.
The door opens.
Youâre pulled inside.
And before Namjoon reaches itâ
Click.
Locked.
Outside, thereâs silence.
Namjoon stands there staring at the door for a second before letting out a tired sigh.
Nearby doors open.
Jungkook appears first and looks around before asking, "ììŽ?" [Youâre back?]
Then he notices one person missing and asks, "ì§ëŻŒìŽ ìŽë ê°ìŽ?" [Where did Jimin go?]
Other doors open.
Jin.
Taehyung.
Yoongi.
Hoseok.
Namjoon rubs his face and says quietly, "âŠëë ìì§ ì ëȘšë„ŽêČ ìŽ." [âŠI still donât really know.]
Everyone waits.
Then he adds, "ê·Œë° ìŹì í ëȘ ë°ë €ììŽ." [But he brought a girl.]
The hallway goes silent.
Jin immediately lowers his voice and asks, almost whispering, "âŠíŹ?" [âŠA fan?]
Namjoon nods.
Jin rolls his eyes.
Taehyung blinks once before saying casually, "ì§ëŻŒìŽ ì±ì ìŒëĄ ë돎 ë”ë”íë ê±° ìë? ì€ëë§ì íŹìŽìì." [Maybe Jiminâs sexually frustrated? Itâs been a long tour.]
Hoseok immediately smacks his arm. "ìŒ."
["Hey."]
Taehyung rubs his shoulder dramatically and frowns.
"ì? ì§ì§íêČ ë§í 걎ë°."
["What? Iâm being serious."]
Jin lets out a quiet breath through his nose and mutters under his breath. "ì§ì§ ëłìëŠŹë„Œ ë€ íë€."
["You really say the most ridiculous things."]
Yoongi shakes his head before Taehyung can continue and says quietly, "ìë." [No.]
Everyone looks over.
Yoongi crosses his arms loosely and leans against the wall.
"âŠì§ì€ì ëȘ»íë ëë?"
[âŠ"Like he couldnât focus?"]
Hoseok nods slowly.
"ë§ì."
["Yeah."]
He glances toward Jiminâs closed hotel room door.
"âŠëê”Ź ì°Ÿë êČ ê°êž°ë íêł ."
[âŠ"And it kind of felt like he was looking for someone."]
That makes Namjoonâs expression tighten.
He noticed it too.
Not enough to interrupt the concert.
Not enough to panic.
But enough.
Enough that he checked on Jimin between transitions.
Enough that he remembered him staring too long toward one side of Allegiant Stadium before snapping back into choreography.
Enough that he noticed Jimin missed a cue during rehearsal and brushed it off.
Namjoon looks back at the closed suite door.
Then quietly says:
"âŠêł”ì° ì€ìë ê·žëŹìŽ."
[âŠ"He was like that during the show too."]
Nobody says anything after that. Because suddenly this feels less like recklessness.
And more like something none of them understand.
The hallway goes quiet. Namjoon stares at the closed door for several more seconds.
That is their shared grand presidential suite.
Normally they barely saw each other once schedules ended. Separate bedrooms. Separate routines. Namjoon goes out often to avoid feeling enclosed in these concrete buildings only meant for their temporary lodging.
Before leaving, though, he looks at Jiminâs door one more time.
For a second he considers knocking.
Checking in.
Talking.
But he stops himself.
Jimin isnât dangerous.
Heâs overwhelmed.
Exhausted.
Maybe emotional after finally touring again.
Maybe tomorrow theyâll talk.
Maybe tomorrow Jimin will apologize.
Maybe tomorrow things will feel normal again.
Namjoon turns and follows Jungkook down the hallway.
Behind him, the door stays closed.
And he doesnât notice that for the first time in yearsâŠ
He feels uneasy about leaving Jimin alone.
Meanwhile, behind the locked hotel room door, you stand in unfamiliar silence and realize for the first time all night that there are no crowds now, no friends, no staff, no excuses.
You are completely alone with him.
The place is quieter than you expected.
Not silent. Hotels are never truly silent. There is still the low hum of the air conditioning somewhere overhead, the faint vibration of elevators traveling through hidden shafts in the walls, and the distant pulse of Las Vegas existing dozens of floors below. But compared to the roaring stadium, the screaming crowds, the lights and constant movement, it feels unnaturally still.
And huge.
You hadnât actually processed where you were until now.
Your eyes drift upward first.
The ceilings are absurdly high.
Then outward.
The suite opens far beyond what your brain expected when someone says hotel room.
It isnât even a room.
It feels like an apartment.
No. Bigger than that.
A long central living space stretches ahead with polished wood floors and designer furniture arranged so intentionally that it almost feels untouched. Thereâs a sitting area with couches and a television mounted into the wall. Farther in, a dining area. Decorative lighting. Another hallway branching deeper into the suite.
Your brain immediately compares it to your room at ARIA.
Two queen beds shared amongst three women. Suitcases exploded across every available surface that is NOT a bed. Phone chargers fighting for outlets. Someoneâs makeup bag permanently open for the duration of the trip.
This feels ridiculous in comparison.
Your eyes continue wandering.
Thereâs another side of the suite too.
You notice another closed bedroom farther away across the living space. Bigger than a normal connecting room. Another member probably stays there.
You wonder who.
Not that youâd ask.
For some reason the thought of accidentally opening the wrong door and discovering another BTS member relaxing in pajamas or even naked feels more embarrassing than ending up backstage with Jimin.
Your attention shifts back.
Jimin is watching you.
Not intensely this time.
Almost shy.
Like he forgot what this would look like through someone elseâs eyes.
You glance around once more and laugh quietly.
"âŠYour room is huge."
His expression softens immediately.
He looks around too.
Then gives a small shrug.
"ì”ìíŽì žì ì ëȘ°ëŒì."
["Iâm used to it, so I donât really notice anymore."]
Then after a second he smiles faintly.
"âŠê·Œë° ê·žë êČ ë§íëêč ê°ìêž° í° êČ ê°ë€ì."
[âŠ"But hearing you say it makes it suddenly feel big."]
"Hehe, yeah.." You smile back at him.
He stands there for another second before walking over.
Without really thinking, he reaches for your wrist again.
Not pulling.
Just guiding.
His fingers wrap loosely around your hand this time.
Then he quietly says:
"ìŽìȘœìŽìì."
["This way."]
He leads you across the suite.
Not toward the center.
Toward the left side.
As you walk farther in, the layout starts making more sense.
The shared spaces stay behind.
The hallway narrows.
Thereâs a bedroom tucked off separately, with its own bathroom and sitting area outside the room.
This must be his room.
When Jimin opens the door, you notice now how his actual bedroom feels more lived in than the rest of the place.
A hoodie tossed over a chair.
A phone cable plugged in.
Water bottles.
A few bags.
Enough signs of actual life that suddenly this stops feeling like a luxury hotel and starts feeling strangely personal.
Jimin releases your wrist after he closes and locks the bedroom door.
For the first time since he pulled you from your seat at Allegiant, he seems uncertain.
He glances around once, then quietly walks to the edge of the bed and sits.
And just⊠sits.
His shoulders look different now.
Not smaller.
Just heavier.
You remain standing for a moment, watching him.
Finally he looks up at you.
His eyes still carry that earlier softness, but something else lies underneath now.
Fatigue.
Maybe embarrassment. Does he regret bringing you now?Â
You swallow.
This feels like the moment you should ask about him.
You take a small breath and speak carefully.
"I wasnât sure when the right time was to askâŠ"
His expression shifts.
"But⊠are you okay?"
His brows move slightly.
You look down briefly before meeting his eyes again. "What Namjoon said⊠about how you were acting during the concert."
You hesitate.
"I know this probably sounds weird because Iâm literally your fan and everything, but⊠I like you." Your face warms. "I mean⊠obviously I do."
That draws a faint smile from him.
You continue anyway. "But if somethingâs wrong⊠I donât want to do something if youâre vulnerable or not okay."
The room falls quiet.
Jimin stares at you. Then, unexpectedly, his eyes begin to water.
Your stomach drops.
His gaze lowers. His hands clasp together loosely. When he speaks, his voice is quieter. "Kind of. Iâll say it in Korean first, to let my feelings out, as itâs hard to describe in English."
He exhales, then switches into Korean. "êŽì°źêžŽ íìŽì." He looks at his hands. "ê·Œë°âŠ"
He lets out a short, embarrassed laugh. "ëìŽ ëë êČ ìê°ëłŽë€ ëłëĄìì."
He translates for you. "When I was younger⊠I felt unstoppable." His smile is small. "But now⊠my body feels different. It doesnât help that military happened." His expression tightens. "I hated it."
His voice lowers. "Coming back⊠touring again after so long⊠I keep thinking⊠what if I get hurt? What if I get sick? What if I canât keep up and everyone has to slow down because of me?"
Your chest tightens.
He laughs once under his breath. "You know⊠I started noticing every little thing. My knees. My stamina. My breathing." He smiles faintly. "And then I started thinking too much."
He finally looks at you. "And today⊠I saw you." He shrugs slightly. "And everything burden and problem disappeared."
You think for a second, then walk over and sit beside him. Not too close. "You say all this like your value is in how perfectly you perform," you say softly. "I think people came back because they missed you. Youâre allowed to get tired. Youâre allowed to not feel twenty forever." You smile a little. "And honestly⊠if a member got hurt or needed a break, I think ARMY would want them to rest and be healthy more than perfect. You donât carry everybody."
His eyes soften. Then he laughs, small and real. His shoulders lower. "Thank you."
After a moment his ears turn faintly pink. He looks embarrassed. "âŠIâm sorry. For grabbing you. And bringing you here suddenly." He rubs the back of his neck. "This is probably really weird."
You shake your head, expression softening. "Thereâs no need to apologize. Iâm here⊠as a fan." You pause. "And as a friend."
His eyes widen slightly, then soften. After a moment he reaches for you slowly, carefully. His fingers curl around yours and he tugs gently, inviting.
"Will you stay tonight?" he asks quietly. "âŠI think I need comfort."
Your heart twists. You nod. "Okay."
His face relaxes. You both sit there for a while in comfortable silence. Eventually he stands and begins to undress, leaving only his black sweatpants on. Shirtless now, his body is toned yet compact. Bigger than yours but somehow delicate in the low light of the room.
His signature nevermind tattoo under his ribcage looking as sexy as ever.You never get tired of seeing it.
As he turns slightly, you finally see something of his that you always wanted to see in real life: the elegant moon phase tattoos trailing down his spine. The ink looks even more beautiful up close, delicate and innocent against his smooth skin. A quiet ache blooms in your chest as you wish you could reach out and trace them with your fingertips, feel the warmth of his skin beneath the ink.Â
He giggles seeing you distracted by them and pokes your side gently, nudging you to remove your clothes. You undress slowly, slipping out of your lace black dress, socks, and shoes until youâre left in your undergarments. He promises to give you one of his shirts afterward.
When you sit beside him again, a strange awareness settles between you. Not bad. Just heightened. You are suddenly very conscious that you are in a hotel room with Jimin at midnight.
He looks at you quietly, then smiles. "You being here⊠makes me really happy."
Your face heats. "Really?"
"Yeah." He scoots closer. "I thought about how it seemed like a dream to have you here. But you are here now, existing with me."
He leans in and kisses you. Softly at first. Warm. Unrushed. His lips move against yours with tender care, deepening gradually as his tongue brushes yours. You lift a hand and touch his cheek, feeling the smooth warmth of his skin beneath your palm. He sighs into the kiss, the sound low and needy.
His hands find your waist. With gentle strength he helps guide you onto his lap until you straddle him. Your thighs settle on either side of his hips. The new position presses your bodies closer, and you feel the heat of his bare chest against you. His hands slide up your back, holding you there as the kiss grows slower, deeper, more sensual. Every brush of his tongue sends warmth spreading through your body.
Then suddenly he freezes. His eyes widen. He pushes you away, body jerking back. Fear flashes across his face angrily saying:
"ìšë°!âŠ"
He moves too quickly and loses balance, falling off the bed.
You jolt upright. "ëìŒ?!" A word in korean slips out, "What? Why did you do that?"
He sits up, rubbing his face. "I-Iâm sorry. I donât know why I did that." His breathing is uneven. "Iâve had weird experiences before⊠with people. Something in my brain⊠triggered."
"Youâre scaring me a bit.:
"I know, I know. Iâm sorry! Please forget about it."
You stare at him, chest aching at the genuine fear in his eyes. He notices your concern and reaches over, squeezing your hand. "Iâll make it up to you," he says quietly.
He does.
Jimin coaxes you onto your back with soft kisses along your jaw and neck. He peels away the last of your undergarments with careful hands, then settles between your thighs. His mouth is warm and insistent. He starts slow, teasing licks and gentle kisses that make your hips twitch. Then he grows bolder, tongue pressing flat and dragging over your most sensitive spot before circling it with focused intent.
Your fingers thread through his hair as pleasure builds. He hums against you, the vibration pulling a moan from your throat. He doesnât rush. He savors every reaction, every gasp, adjusting to what makes your thighs tremble around his head. When release finally crashes over you, sharp and overwhelming, he keeps going, gentling you through it until youâre boneless and panting.
Afterward he climbs back up, lips shiny, and kisses your forehead. He disappears into the bathroom for a moment and returns with a warm, damp cloth. With tender care he cleans you, wiping away the evidence of your orgasm with slow, soothing strokes. He presses a soft kiss to your inner thigh, then helps you slip into one of his oversized shirts before pulling you into his arms.
Eventually the tension fades. Conversation replaces the awkwardness. Exhaustion wins.
Later he curls behind you in bed, one arm draped around your waist, warm and sleepy. You both drift off like that.
At 3:45 AM you wake and quietly slip into the bathroom outside the bedroom with your phone to pee. Notifications from friends, memes, photos. No stress calls from friends asking if you've been kidnapped luckily. You'll craft a story later that will prevent them from knowing what's going on.
Then you open reddit and search up the one thing that has been bothering you the most: One Wish Willow. Only two reddit threads with comments come up. People swearing it worked. Others calling it coincidence. Warnings not to wish vaguely. Things going to shit. Warnings not to wish emotionally. Suggestions to buy a crystal for protection...
Your stomach twists.
If this actually worked⊠why does everything feel so off? Especially with Jimin?
You stare at your reflection, then lock your phone. Nothing bad has happened. Maybe youâre overthinking.
When you return, Jimin is already awake, sitting on the bed, menacingly. His eyes find you immediately, but they look dead. Youâre scared to address him being awake, so you plan to ignore it and lay down to continue your sleep.
However Jimin decides to speak.
"ìŽë ê°ìŽì?" His voice sounds clear as day, with a tint of frustration. He speaks in korean, and you manage to understand what he says thanks to the countless kdramas youâve seen. Not a hard question to answer.
"The bathroom."
His shoulders tense. "I thought you left."
You smile and settle back down beside him. "Iâm not leaving any time soon. I willl tell you when I go later in the morning. I have to meet my friends."
His brows knit. "âŠlater?"
You nod. "Yes, Iâm going to the concert later too." You tell him you forgot the exact row, but your seat should be closer this time.
His expression visibly relaxes. "ìąì." Then, quieter: "I want to see you. At all times."
Your chest tightens at the words, but you donât question them. Instead you let him pull you closer, holding you like he needs to be sure you are still there.ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Is it odd to say youâre progressively starting to feel a bit weirder about this. But will you do anything about it? Despite the strange situation youâre in, the answer is no.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
.°Ëâ§ pairing: james cook x fem!reader
.°Ëâ§ summary: Cook had spent two years wanting her and calling it love because love sounded better than obsession. She didnât want him back. Not properly. Not enough. Not in the way heâd decided he deserved after every glance, every laugh, every moment she let him close without letting him in. Then the One Wish Willow ended up in his hands, promising one wish, one change, one chance to make the world fair in the only way Cook cared about. If she wouldnât choose him, heâd choose for her.
Because the wish didnât grant him love. It granted him obedience.
.°Ëâ§ wc: 33.3k
.°Ëâ§ a/n: the fic iâve been calling incel x yandere has officially become my magnum opus. i saw obsession on the 26th and havenât stopped thinking about it since, so naturally i had to write a crossover fic. i did take the liberty of changing where they work from a music store to a bowling alley/arcade because it felt more dynamic. apologies for the long paragraphs, normally i would have more separation but tumblr's stupid 1,000 paragraph block rule squashed it. iâll be taking a short writing break after this to work on the joc library, help co-host a little writing event for jackâs birthday, gauge interest for a shawn zine, and finally get through my manuscript edits because iâm behind on everything lol. huge shoutout to beany @pastabillities and ria @remmickstalker for beta reading this behemoth, youâre the best!! and thank you to abhi for once again making me a killer banner. i love it so much. okay, enjoy the fic!!
.°Ëâ§ warnings: dead dove: do not eat, noncon/dubcon due to supernatural coercion, mind control/forced devotion, graphic violence, murder, blood and gore, major injury, stalking, obsessive/yandere behavior, incel mindset, gaslighting and manipulation, toxic possessive relationship, jealousy and possessiveness, emotional abuse, sexual coercion, piv, rough sex, choking, slapping, biting, unprotected sex, oral (giving/receiving), spit kink, cumplay/facial, Cook sucks
.°Ëâ§ AO3 / MASTERLIST
Cook had built a whole love story around a version of her that had never existed.
People wrote songs about wanting like it was all aching and sweetness, all late-night phone calls, stupid smiles and wanting to be better because someone lovely had looked at you twice. That was bullshit. Wanting her felt less like romance and more like a bad habit he couldnât quit, something hot and mean lodged under his ribs, fed by every laugh she gave someone else and every smile she wasted like it didnât cost him anything to watch.
Kingpinâs wore its neon like cheap jewelry: loud, shabby, and fooling absolutely no one. The sign did most of the lying from the car parkâred glow, gold letters, the i swapped for a bowling pin wearing a crooked little crown, like the building fancied itself glamorous instead of scuzzy and embalmed in fryer grease. One of the bulbs over the front door flickered when it rained, and the apostrophe in Kingpinâs buzzed loud enough to hear from the smoking area if the wind blew right. Gareth kept saying heâd get it fixed. Gareth also kept saying Cook was on his last warning, so nobody took his promises seriously.
Inside, Kingpinâs was worse where the neon couldnât blur it pretty. Louder too. Bowling balls cracked down lanes with a violence people cheered for. Arcade machines spat tinny little victory songs at kids with sticky fingers. Prize tickets curled out in cheap pink strips like paper tongues, and the claw machines glowed blue over stuffed animals nobody won unless their parents were willing to be financially ruined by a plush frog with one wonky eye. The carpet was purple and orange but ugly enough to count as workplace abuse, patterned in swirls that hid stains until the lights hit them wrong. The air smelled of chips, lager, warm plastic, shoe spray, and the sugary cleaning stuff Gareth bought in bulk because he thought tropical blast meant sanitary.
Cook loved it there in the way a person could love a place that deserved to be condemned. It was grimy, bright and tacky. It gave him somewhere to be loud, somewhere to lean, grin, flirt, steal chips off peopleâs plates, vanish for smoke breaks, and stroll back in twenty minutes later like he hadnât just been dodging work. Kingpinâs suited him because nobody expected polish from a bloke working shoe rental at a bowling alley, and Cook had always been better when expectations were already in the gutter. He was meant to be spraying returned shoes when he caught himself watching her again. Not watching, heâd say, if anyone asked. Looking. Existing with eyes. Perfectly normal thing, having eyes. Couldnât help where they went. Except he could. He knew he could because every few minutes he dragged them away, told himself not to be a fucking creep, and found her again anyway.
She was behind the prize counter, restocking sweets into the glass case, Kingpinâs polo tucked badly into her jeans, name badge askew because the pin had been broken for two weeks. Birthday glitter clung to the side of her face from some kidâs party crown, catching blue from the nearest claw machine whenever she turned. Her hair kept slipping forward when she bent, and she kept pushing it back with the same impatient motionânot thinking about it, not knowing Cook had noticed enough times that the noticing had started to irritate him.
He knew what drink she bought on break. Knew she hated the left register because the drawer jammed unless you hip-checked it. Knew she skipped the third song on his driving playlist every single time and pretended it was because it was shit, not because it reminded her of a bad night out. Knew she took the long way around the bar when drunk men crowded it. Knew she smiled at old women even when they complained about prices. Knew she checked her phone more when Ryan was on shift. That last one pissed him off. He told himself noticing wasnât weird if you noticed because you cared. That was what romance was supposed to be, wasnât it? Paying attention. Remembering things. Knowing the little details everyone else missed and pretending it was sweet instead of evidence youâd been looking too long.
Girls liked that in films, didnât they? Some quiet, devoted prick knowing their coffee order and the book they mentioned once and the song they hummed under their breath. Some sad-eyed bastard remembering every tiny detail and getting rewarded for it in the end because apparently obsession was romantic as long as the bloke kept his mouth shut and looked tortured doing it. But when Cook knew things, suddenly it was creepy. Suddenly it was too much. Suddenly it was, Cook, why do you know my work schedule?
As if she didnât keep giving him reasons. As if she didnât smile at him over the prize counter, steal chips off his tray, laugh at his filthy jokes like she knew exactly where his mind would go and let it go there anyway. As if she didnât lean past him behind the counter and press herself close enough for him to feel the heat of her through that stupid Kingpinâs polo, then act like he was the problem for noticing. As if she didnât laugh.
That was what got him, really. The laughing. She laughed at him like it cost her nothing, like it didnât crawl under his skin and sat there, hot and stupid, even humiliating. Like she could throw little crumbs of warmth around, let a bloke start starving for them, then blink all innocent when he came looking for the whole fucking meal.
âAre you planning to stare until the shoes clean themselves?â she asked without looking up.
Cook leaned his hip against the counter and gave the shoe spray a lazy shake. âIâm supervising.â
âYouâre loitering.â
âSame thing with authority.â
âYou donât have authority.â
âIâve got presence.â
âYouâve got a pile of wet shoes and Gareth doing his angry walk.â
Cook glanced over. Gareth was, in fact, coming out of the office with his head forward and his shoulders tense, which meant someone was about to get blamed for something that probably was Cookâs fault. Cook straightened without actually moving away from her counter. âYou worried about me getting sacked?â
âIâm worried Iâll have to do your job when you do.â
âThatâs love.â
âThatâs self-preservation.â
âYouâre flirting again.â
âIâm warning you before Gareth does.â
âLove it when you get bossy.â
She shut the sweet drawer with her hip and looked at him then, eyes narrowed, mouth trying not to smile. âYouâre unbearable.â
âBut you bear me.â
âBarely.â
âStill counts.â
She shook her head and turned back to the prize case, but the corner of her mouth stayed lifted. There. See. What was he supposed to do with that?
Ryan came through the staff door carrying a crate of bottled drinks, already looking tired of Cook before Cook had even said anything. âGarethâs asking why the shoes arenât done. I told him I told you ten minutes ago.â
Cook didnât look away from the prize counter. âSnitch.â
Ryan followed his line of sight and gave a short, humorless laugh. âYouâre not subtle.â
âSubtletyâs for virgins and tax fraud.â
Ryan set the crate down with a clatter. âYouâre doing that tragic thing again.â
She glanced between them. âWhat tragic thing?â
âNothing,â Cook said.
Ryan smirked. âThe thing where he starts eye-fucking you and calls it supervising.â
Cook threw the shoe spray at him. Ryan dodged, laughing, and she made a disgusted little sound even though she was smiling.
âBoth of you are disgusting.â
âSay that softer,â Cook said. âIâm close.â
âIâm begging you to develop shame.â
Ryanâs eyes flicked toward her, and something passed between them too quick for Cook to pin down. Not a look, maybe. Not even a proper smile. Just a little beat of familiarity, easy and private, the sort of thing that said there were conversations Cook hadnât heard and jokes he hadnât been there for. It got under his skin immediately, mean and sharp, like a splinter heâd rather dig deeper than admit was there. Ryan was too comfortable with her. Had been for a while. He leaned against counters beside her like he had a right to take up space there. Knew when she was in a bad mood before Cook did. Could say her name across the arcade and get her attention without putting on a whole fucking show for it. He didnât even have the decency to be obvious about wanting her. He just existed around her like access was normal, like being allowed near her was something heâd never had to earn. Cook hated him for it.
Not that he was jealous. Jealousy was for lads who didnât have options, and Cook had options. Tasha made that clear enough every time she brought him a drink he hadnât asked for, every time she laughed too hard, every time she touched his arm and let her fingers linger like she wanted him to notice. Tasha had smoky eyeliner, chipped black nail polish, and a habit of biting her lip whenever Cook turned the charm on. Cook liked that. Liked knowing it. Liked keeping her attention close enough to warm his ego whenever the thing he actually wanted left him feeling like some sad prick with his face pressed to the glass. Tasha meant he wasnât pathetic. Girls did want him.
Just not the one he had stupidly, violently, inconveniently decided mattered.
The night dragged on in shouts and spills. Gareth yelled at lane six for bringing outside vodka. JJ nearly got taken out by the basketball machine when it spat a ball early. A kid dropped an entire tray of nachos on the carpet and burst into tears as hot cheese soaked straight into the purple swirls. Cook spent twenty minutes flirting with a group of college girls at concessions because they were drunk enough to think he was funnier than he was, then looked over to see if sheâd noticed. She had. She looked amused. Not jealous. Not bothered. Amused, like he was exactly the sort of idiot she expected him to be. That annoyed him enough to make him flirt harder.
By closing, Kingpinâs looked like the night had chewed it up and spat it out. The lanes were empty under the low lights, polished slick and useless, with only the odd mechanical clunk from the pinsetters breaking the quiet. The arcade still blinked to itself in the corner, cycling through demo screens for nobody. The prize counter shone with fingerprints and smears, and the air had soured into old beer, fryer grease, and the chemical sweetness of mop water. Cook was half-assing the returned shoes while she counted the till, Ryan wiped tables near the bar, and Tasha leaned beside Cook with her chin in her hand, watching him with a smile she clearly thought was subtle.
âYou coming out after?â Ryan called.
She paused with her fingers still in the drawer and looked over. âWhere?â
âFood. Drinks. Whateverâs still open.â
âAfter tonight? I should go home and stare at a wall.â
âStare at chips instead,â Ryan said. âLess bleak.â
Cook tossed a pair of shoes into the wrong cubby. âIâm driving.â
âYouâre always driving,â she said.
âBecause Iâm generous.â
âBecause you hate taxis.â
âTwo things can be true.â
Tasha nudged his arm. âYou giving everyone lifts, or just special people?â
Cook let the pause sit there because he could, because Tasha would wait for him to fill it and they both knew it. âDepends who asks nicely.â
Tasha held his gaze for half a second too long, smile tucked into the corner of her mouth, and Cook looked away just in time to catch her across the lobby looking back down at the register. Cook didnât know if that meant anything. He wanted it to mean something.
They ended up at a late-night burger place three streets over, the sort of place that stayed open less because people wanted to eat there and more because drunk people stopped being picky after midnight. The windows were fogged from the fryers, the plastic tables had a permanent tack to them, and the woman behind the counter took their order with the tired patience of someone who had already explained twice that extra sauce cost 20p. There were six of them crammed around two pushed-together tables: Cook, Ryan, Tasha, JJ, her, and Malik from the kitchen, who had mostly come along so he could call Gareth a tight bastard to people who already knew he was right.
Cook ended up opposite her because Ryan slid into the seat beside her before he could. That was Ryanâs first offence of the evening. The second was how easily they settled next to each other, like it took no thought at all. Ryan stole one of her chips without asking, and she smacked his hand away without even looking up from her drink. Not surprised. Not annoyed enough. Just used to it, like his fingers on her plate were another bit of background noise sheâd stopped questioning. He reached for the sauce before she asked and pushed it toward her, already knowing, already smug about knowing, and something hot and mean pulled tight in Cookâs chest.
Then she complained about the music, and Ryan said, âYou always complain about the music,â before Cook could even open his mouth. Always. Cook hated the word immediately. Hated how casual it sounded coming from Ryan. Hated the little doorway it opened into a history Cook hadnât been invited into, all those shifts and smoke breaks and late-night conversations happening without him there to watch, without him there to stop anything from becoming too familiar.
Tasha was beside him, knee brushing his under the table. âYouâre quiet.â
Cook took a chip from her tray. âIâm mysterious.â
âYouâre sulking.â
âI donât sulk.â
âYou absolutely sulk.â
âI brood. Sexier.â
She laughed, touching his sleeve. âSure.â
He leaned closer because Tasha made it easy and because he could feel her watching from across the table, maybe. âYou like it.â
Tashaâs mouth opened, then shut and Cook grinned. Across from him, she looked away first. His satisfaction lasted exactly three seconds before Ryan leaned in to say something near her ear and she laughed. Cook hated himself for how fast the feeling curdled.
Outside after, the air had gone damp and cool, the kind that made takeaway grease cling harder to everyoneâs clothes. JJ and Malik were still arguing about whether the pirate shooter in the arcade was haunted, Malik insisting the left cannon fired by itself and JJ getting increasingly wound up by the lack of evidence. Tasha had her jacket zipped up to her chin and was still hovering near Cook, close enough that her sleeve brushed his when she shifted, but his attention had already gone past her. Across the car park, she stood near Ryanâs car with her arms folded against the cold, smiling down at the cracked pavement while Ryan said something Cook couldnât hear. Cook lit a cigarette heâd stolen from Ryanâs pack.
Ryan wandered up beside him a moment later. âThatâs mine.â
âCommunity property.â
âYouâre a parasite.â
âA handsome parasite.â
Ryan glanced toward her, then back at Cook. âYouâre embarrassing yourself.â
Cook blew smoke out the side of his mouth. âBy smoking?â
âBy doing whatever this is.â
âItâs called standing.â
âItâs called staring like a pathetic, lovesick prick.â
Cookâs jaw tightened. âFuck off.â
Ryanâs tone shifted, softer but smug underneath. âMate, just ask.â
âAsk what?â
âIf she likes you.â
Cook laughed. âWhat are you, twelve?â
âIâm serious. Stop hovering around like a kicked dog.â
âIâm not hovering.â
âYouâve been mentally pissing on her leg all night.â
Cook looked at him. âYou got a death wish?â
Ryan grinned. âGirls like confidence, yeah? Ask straight. Worst she can say is no.â
Worst she can say is no. People said that like no was harmless. Like no didnât make a bloke feel skinned in public, stupid for wanting, stupid for thinking heâd seen anything there in the first place. Like she could just say it and go on with her night, still laughing, still eating chips, still looking at Ryan when he spoke, while Cook had to stand there with the word stuck in him and pretend it hadnât made him want to crawl out of his own fucking body. Easy for Ryan to say. Ryan, who sat beside her like it was nothing. Ryan, who knew what sauce she wanted and stole food off her plate and got away with it. Ryan, who could tell Cook to be confident because heâd never had to make confidence look like anything. He just had it. Worse than that, people gave him reasons to. Cook looked toward her again before he could stop himself. She was laughing at something Malik had said now, the sound carrying across the car park like she had no idea she was being watched, no idea she was standing there ruining him by looking happy without him.
Ryan followed his gaze and gave a small, knowing hum. âUnless you already know sheâll say no.â
Cookâs head snapped back toward him.
Ryan lifted both hands, grin barely held in. âIâm just saying.â
âYou donât know shit.â
âThen ask,â Ryan said, simple and cruel because he made it sound like there was nothing at stake. âProve me wrong.â
Cook hated him for that. Hated him more because he was going to.
A skinny red-and-cream box sat on the backseat of Cookâs car, cheap-looking in the way old magic tricks and corner-shop toys were cheap. Curved lettering, smiling cartoon faces, little sprays of stars. AMAZE YOUR FRIENDS! printed along one side like it was supposed to be fun, like there wasnât something rotten in how badly he wanted it to work. Near the end, tucked into a burst of red, were the words You only get ONE WISH.
ONE WISH WILLOW, it said across the front. Heâd bought it three days earlier on his lunch break, after sheâd mentioned old folklore while untangling tickets from a machine, talking half to him and half to the mess in her hands about wishing trees, charm bundles, little bits of luck people carried around when they wanted the universe to listen. Cook had called it witchy bollocks to her face. An hour later, heâd found himself in a oddity shop near Kingpinâs, a narrow little place wedged between a vape shop and a nail salon, all dusty shelves and incense smoke and tiny silver bells over the door that made him feel like a twat the second he walked in. The woman behind the counter had watched him pick it up, watched him turn the little box over in his hand like it might bite him.
âFor someone you love?â sheâd asked.
Cook had laughed too quickly. âSteady on.â
Then heâd paid cash, shoved it under his jacket, and told himself the whole way back that it was funny. A weird gift. A piss-take. Something he could toss at her and make a joke out of before she noticed heâd remembered something soft, something small, something she probably didnât even remember saying. He was lying, obviously. Heâd bought it because sheâd wanted it for half a second, and Cook had carried that half second around, polishing it into evidence that he knew her, that he listened, that there were bits of her Ryan didnât get to have. Now it sat behind him while he drove her home through wet streets, the box catching streetlights in the rearview whenever they passed under a lamp. She had his phone in her lap and was skipping through his playlist with increasing disgust.
âThis is terrible,â she said.
âThatâs a classic.â
âThis sounds like how the carpet at work smells.â
âYouâve got no culture.â
âI work at Kingpinâs. Obviously.â
He laughed because she expected him to, because laughing was easier than admitting his fingers had gone tight around the wheel. The car smelled of smoke, damp upholstery, mint gum, and the cheap air freshener Ryan had hung from the mirror as a joke, still swinging there like another little reminder of him. Rain tapped against the windscreen and dragged the traffic lights into red and green streaks. She sat curled toward the heater, worn out from the shift and everything after, comfortable enough to insult his music, steal his spare hoodie from the backseat without asking, and pull it over her lap without thinking twice. The box was underneath it. Cook caught the flash of red-and-cream packaging when the hoodie shifted, bright against the dark mess of the backseat, and his throat tightened before he could make himself laugh that off too.
He could give it to her now. Reach back, grab the box, toss it into her lap with a grin. Say, saw this and thought of your weird tree thing. Make it sound crude and stupid yet casual enough to hide behind. The kind of gift a bloke bought as a joke, not because heâd carried one passing comment around until it started feeling like something private. Sheâd probably laugh. Maybe call him an idiot. Maybe turn the little box over in her hands and look at him like she couldnât believe heâd remembered. The thought hit too soft, too fast, and he hated himself for wanting it. Then Ryanâs voice came crawling back in, smug and easy. Ask straight.
Cook kept his eyes forward. The engine idled low, the heater clicked softly, and the longer he sat there, the less it felt like something he could still choose not to say. Beside him, she shifted under his hoodie, tired and comfortable and completely unaware that he was ruining the night before heâd even spoken. He should have just given her the stupid box. Instead, he opened his mouth.
âYou like me, donât you?â
He knew heâd fucked it before she even turned her head. He heard it. Felt it. Too blunt. Too hungry. Too much like something that had been sitting behind his teeth for ages, waiting for the ugliest possible moment to come out.
She went still. âWhat?â
He could still save it. He could laugh. Could make it filthy, stupid, harmless. Could say as a driver, as a coworker, as a national treasure, obviously. Could swerve so hard sheâd never know there had been anything real underneath it. But fear got there first. Fear, then pride.
âYou heard.â
She frowned a little, not irritated yet. Just confused, which was somehow worse. âAre you joking?â
âNo.â
âLike me how?â
Cook scoffed because if he didnât, the silence was going to swallow him whole. âLike me how. Fucking hell, you need a diagram?â
Her face changed. Not much. Just enough. The warmth went careful around the edges, and the whole car seemed to shrink with it, everything was suddenly too close. Everything was suddenly watching. Cook felt the moment tipping away from him and kept talking anyway, because humiliation had momentum and his mouth had always been faster than his sense.
âYou and me,â he said. âThereâs something there, yeah?â
She looked at him properly then, and he hated that too. Hated the way she didnât laugh. Hated the way she didnât make it easy by being cruel. Hated the softness coming over her expression, like she was already trying to find the kindest way to cut him open.
âCook,â she said.
âDonât do that.â
âI like you.â
His pulse kicked once, stupidly.
âAs a friend,â she added.
There it was. Not sharp. Not nasty. Worse because it was gentle. Because she meant well. Because she had no idea that kindness could gut a person cleaner than mockery ever could. Cook stared ahead, even though they were parked outside her building now and had been for half a minute. He hadnât even noticed pulling up. His hands stayed on the wheel, locked there, because looking at her felt impossible and looking away felt like losing.
She shifted beside him. âYou know that, right?â
He nodded once. The silence got bigger. Then pride, ugly and panicked, threw itself over the wound.
âJesus,â he said, forcing a laugh that sounded wrong even to him. âI didnât mean like that.â
She blinked. âWhat?â
âDonât flatter yourself.â He forced his mouth into a grin because that was the only thing it knew how to do when everything else was fucked. âI meant, do you like me as a person? Like, am I tolerable? Didnât ask you to start naming our future fuckinâ kids or summat.â
Her embarrassment arrived fast. He saw it hit and felt a nasty little spark of relief, because now she looked stupid too. Now she had something to be ashamed of. Now he wasnât the only one sitting there with his insides showing.
âOh.â
âYeah. Oh.â
âI thoughtââ
âWhat? That I was about to profess my undying love in a Vauxhall?â He huffed another laugh, sharper this time. âGive me some credit.â
âIâm sorry.â
âFor having an ego? You should be.â
She looked down. For one second, it helped. Then it didnât. The relief curdled almost as soon as it came, leaving him with the same raw shame underneath and something meaner crawling up around it. Because she was sorry. Because she was embarrassed. Because she would get out of his car in a minute and go upstairs and feel bad for a bit, maybe, then sleep it off, wake up tomorrow, and still not want him.
âI didnât mean to make it weird,â she said.
âYou didnât.â
âOkay.â Her fingers closed around the door handle. âGood.â
Good.
She got out and hurried through the rain to her door, his hoodie over her head, her shoulders tucked against the cold. She looked back once and gave an awkward little wave. Cook lifted two fingers from the wheel like none of this mattered. The door shut behind her. Cook sat there until the engine noise started to feel obscene. Then he killed it. The silence rushed in, rain ticking over the roof and glass. He leaned back in the seat and stared at her building, jaw tight, chest burning with something he refused to call hurt because hurt sounded too innocent.
Good. Sheâd sounded relieved. Not disappointed. Not tempted. Relieved. He thought of Ryan saying worst she can say is no. Thought of the way Ryan stood too close to her. Thought of Tashaâs knee against his under the fast food table. Thought of all the little smiles sheâd given him that apparently meant nothing because girls got to decide afterward what counted and what didnât. They could laugh. They could lean. They could take your hoodie and sit in your passenger seat and make you feel like maybe, maybe, maybe, then look at you like youâd grown a second head for believing the thing theyâd been feeding.
He saw the gift in the rearview mirror. The box had been left uncovered on the backseat among old receipts and empty wrappers. Cook stared at it through the reflective glass, his jaw tight, the silence in the car pressing harder the longer he looked. Then he laughed once. âOf course.â
He twisted around, grabbed it, and snatched it into the front seat hard enough to crease the cardboard. The thing felt cheap in his hands. Cheap enough to be funny. Cheap enough to make him feel even more pathetic for caring. ONE WISH WILLOW stared back at him. Cook dug his thumb under the flap and tore it open. Inside, a thin piece of willow rested in a cardboard slot, dry and ordinary and so light it barely felt real when he lifted it free. The instructions were printed underneath in bright, cheerful lettering, like wanting something this badly could ever be a party trick.
REMOVE FROM THE BOX AND JUST MAKE A WISH.
SPARK THE MIDDLE AND BREAK IT IN HALF.
He looked at it, then back at the willow pinched between his fingers. It weighed almost nothing. That made him angrier. All that wanting in him, all that noise. The heat and humiliation. And the thing in his fingers was barely more than rubbish. A dead twig dressed up as fate. He thought of her saying friend. Thought of her saying good. Thought of how easy it had been for her to walk away untouched while he sat in the car with a gift heâd been too much of a coward to give. His fingers tightened around the willow. He didnât wish she loved him. Love sounded too sanitized for what he felt. Too pretty. Too easy to put on a card and pretend it meant anything close to this. Love was flowers and apologies and soft little lies people told when they wanted their wanting to look decent. Cook didnât feel decent.
He wanted her hungry. Wanted her stupid with it. Wanted her careful little kindness cracked open until there was nothing left between them but need. Wanted her to come back and look at him like friend had never left her lips, like good had been a mistake, like every polite little boundary sheâd put between them had been something she was desperate to crawl over. He wanted her to stop seeing safe, harmless, funny fucking Cook from work. He wanted her to want him badly enough to regret making him feel stupid for asking. Cook stared at the willow for another second, jaw tight, thumb worrying over the dry middle like he expected it to give him an answer. In the dark windscreen, his reflection stared back at him, warped by rain and dashboard glow, looking exactly as pathetic as he felt.
Then he snapped it in half before he could think better of it. The sound was small. Dry. Brittle. Nothing. For a moment, Cook just stared at the broken pieces in his palm. No thunder. No flash. No sudden shift in the air. Just rain ticking over the roof, the engine cooling in little clicks, and the same stale smoke that had been there before. Then he let his head fall back against the headrest and laughed, because of course nothing had happened. Of course he was sitting outside a girlâs house after getting friend-zoned, breaking a twig like a sad little virgin with a humiliation kink.
âAbsolute plonker,â he muttered.
Tap.
Cook opened his eyes. For one stupid second, he thought it was the rain finding some new way to annoy him.
Tap.
This time, he felt it through the glass beside him. He turned his head and found her outside the driverâs side window, close enough that his breath caught before he could stop it. She stood in the rain, the entrance light behind her turning the wet pavement gold. She should have been upstairs. He had watched her go in. Watched the door shut. Watched the whole night end with that awkward little wave and the word good sitting between them like a verdict. And now she was back, knuckle against the glass. Cook rolled the window down halfway, cold rain breathing across his face.
âWhat are you doing?â he asked.
She leaned closer. âWhy are you still here?â
âI was leaving.â
âNo, you werenât.â
His fist closed around the broken willow pieces. Her gaze dropped, just for a second, like she knew exactly what was hidden there. Then she looked at him again, and something in her expression rearranged itself too quickly, too completely, the careful distance sheâd put between them evaporating all at once.
âI shouldnât have gone inside,â she said.
Cook swallowed. âNo?â
âNo.â
âYou saidââ
âI know what I said. I know what I said and I didn't mean it."
The words shouldâve scared him, and maybe they did, but fear had never been enough to make Cook let go of something he desired. He stared at her through the half-open window, waiting for the joke, the correction, the cruel little laugh that would make him feel stupid for believing her. She only kept looking at him, and the longer she stayed quiet, the easier it became to hear what he wanted instead. âYou didnât mean it,â he repeated.
She shook her head, her attention stuck on him in a way that made his skin prickle. âCome inside.â
Cook could have started the engine. He could have told her to go upstairs and sleep off whatever this was, could have thrown the broken pieces into the gutter and admitted that something had changed too fast to be real. He could have done one decent thing before the night got any worse. Instead, he got out. The night slapped cold against his face as he stepped from the car. She backed away just enough to let him stand, his hoodie pulled tight around her like sheâd already forgotten it wasnât hers. The pieces stayed clenched in his fist until he shoved them into his jacket pocket, because leaving them behind felt too much like admitting there was something to hide. Neither of them spoke as she led him inside. The stairwell light buzzed overhead, dragging their shadows up the wall as she climbed ahead of him, glancing back every few steps like her body needed proof he was still following. Cook stayed close enough to turn around if he wanted to. He didnât.
By the time she unlocked her flat, the silence between them had started to feel like pressure. She pushed the door open and waited on the threshold. Cook crossed it, and the door clicked shut behind him. The lock slid homeâher hand, not his, trembling around the deadbolt. He stood in her narrow hallway, caught among the small evidence of a life heâd only ever imagined from the outside: a cherry chapstick with the cap bitten rough, an old ASDA receipt tucked into the cracked paperback spine of a battered paranormal romance novel, a single earring dropped into a little ceramic dish shaped like a strawberry, a shopping list on the side table in her own hurried scrawlâmilk, batteries, incense, bin bagsâwith half the words scratched through. None of it belonged to him, which made being there feel worse. She turned to face him before he could decide what to do with his hands, breathing too fast, looking at him with a certainty that felt planted there by something else. Every part of him knew this was wrong. He stayed anyway.
"You okay?" he asked, and his voice came out rougher than he meant. He knew she wasn't. He knew what he'd done. The willow bark was still under his fingernails, probably. Fuck. She didn't answer. Just stepped forward, into his space, and her mouth found hisâclumsy, desperate, her teeth catching his lower lip hard enough to taste copper. Her hands fisted in his red bomber jacket, pulling him closer, and he let himself be pulled. Let himself forget the how. Let himself sink into the heat of her body pressing against his.
He broke the kiss first. Grabbed her wrists. Pinned them against the wall beside her head. Her breath stuttered, and he watched her chest rise and fall. "Slow down," he said, and the grin he found was more teeth than warmth. "You dragged me up here. Least you can do is let me look at you proper."
She swallowed, throat moving under his attention, pulse hammering at the base of it as her whole body strained toward him like he was gravity, like sheâd die if he let go. But she stopped. Didnât pull away. Didnât roll her eyes. Didnât make some mouthy little comment about him thinking he was in charge because Cook, honestly, fuck off. She just stopped because he told her to, standing there with her wrists caught in his hands and her attention fixed on him like the words had gone straight through her. A sick little thrill hooked under his ribs, and Cook thought of the wish before he could stop himself. He buried it almost as quickly as it surfaced, because putting a name to it would mean admitting this wasnât just her finally wanting him; it was something else wearing her face like a mask. Cook told himself he wasnât testing the wish, then gave her another order anyway, just to see if sheâd obey.
"Take it off," he said, nodding at the hoodie. She pulled her wrists freeâhe let herâand tugged the fabric over her head, dropping it on the floor. Sheâd changed out of her work polo sometime after closing, before they went for food, and Cook remembered noticing it in the chip shop with the sort of attention he had no business giving it. The t-shirt underneath was an old band tee, washed thin, the collar stretching over her collarbone. He could see the outline of her nipples through it. Already hard.
"Been waiting two years," he said, low, almost to himself. His thumb found her bottom lip, pulled it down. "Two years of you being careful. Distant. Looking at me like I was something you stepped in."
She shook her head. "No, Iâ"
âShut up.â He said it softly, and she obeyed so fast it made his cock jump in his jeans. Her mouth closed. Her eyes stayed on his. Before the wish, she would have torn him apart for speaking to her like thatâcalled him a prick, rolled her eyes, made him laugh until the moment passed. Now she waited, quiet and ready, and the pleasure of that scared him less than it should have.
âYou donât get to talk right now,â he said, slower, because every word landed and he could see it landing. âYou get to listen.â He traced the line of her jaw and felt her shiver. She was still watching him, waiting for the next thing, and the waiting did something awful to him. Made him want to keep going. Made him want to find out how far the wish reached. âYou knocked on my window. You brought me upstairs. So youâre gonna stand there and take what I give you. Understand?â
She nodded, small and quick. Cook stared at her for half a second too long. There it was again. No argument. No bite. No careful little boundary set down between them like a warning cone. Just compliance, immediate and sweet, like the part of her that used to push back had been smothered under all that sudden wanting. It should have made him stop.
Cook took it as permission instead.
"Good girl." He leaned in and pressed his mouth to her throat, feeling her pulse jump against his lips. "Now get on your knees."
She dropped. Fast. Like her legs gave out. Her hands landed on his thighs, gripping the denim, and she looked up at him from the laminate floorâthat same desperate, unfocused desire in her eyes. It was fucked. He knew it was fucked. But his cock was already rock hard, already straining against his jeans, and the way she was looking at him made it so easy to bury the thought because she was following every direction. Every single one. And the part of him that had spent two years being laughed off, brushed aside, kept harmless, made into a joke, wanted to call that proof. Wanted to call it fair. Wanted to call it finally.
"Unzip me," he said. Her fingers fumbled with the button, the zipper, and then she was pulling him out, her hand wrapping around him. The sound he made was almost embarrassingly raw. Her palm was warm. Dry. She stroked him once, tentative, and his hips bucked into her grip. "Now put that worthless mouth of yours to use for once."
She leaned forward. Her tongue touched the tip, a single experimental swipe, and then she took him in, her lips sliding down his shaft, her cheeks hollowing. He hit the back of her throat and she gagged, pulled back, tried again. He let her set the rhythm for a few secondsâwatching her, the way her hair fell forward, the way her jaw strainedâand then he fisted a hand in her hair and held her there. His voice was ragged as he told her, "m' gonna need you to breathe through your nose. Remember, you wanted this, so you're gonna take it."
She did. Her throat worked around him. The wet, obscene sound of it filled the hallway. The radiator ticked. Somewhere outside, a car passed, headlights sweeping across the thin curtains. None of it mattered. There was only her mouth, hot and slick as he held her hair in a fist, guiding her pace as he watched her struggle. "Look at you. Pretty little mouth stuffed full and you're drooling like a fuckin' whore." She didn't pull away, she only took it deeper, moan muffled and the vibration made his hips reflexively stutter. He groaned, pulled her off and slapped his cock against her slick lips. "Now suck it clean. Lick every drop of your filthy spit off my cock." She obeyed, tongue tracing the shaft, her eyes never leaving his. "Yeahhhh, that's it, you're such a dirty little cocksucker."
He let her up when his legs started shaking, not wanting to blow his load too early, not until he was inside her. He yanked her to her feet and walked her backward down the hall, one hand on her hip, the other gripping her jaw. Her lips were swollen, wet with spit amd pre-come. He kissed her againâslower this time, meaner, biting her bottom lip and sucking until she whimpered.
Her bedroom was cramped and messy, dirty clothes sticking out of a hamper in the corner, an unplugged charger curled on the night stand, bed unmade and dragged half off the frame, one corner of the fitted sheet peeled loose, a bottle of nail polish left mostly uncapped beside a burned out glade candle. He laid her back down on the mattress, and she spread her legs without being told, her t-shirt riding up to reveal a strip of bare stomach. He took his time. Pulled her trainers off. Tossed them aside. Ran his hands up her calves, her thighs, pushing her knees wider apart. Her jeans were tight, and he took his time with the button, his knuckles dragging against her stomach, watching her breathe.
"Look at you," he murmured. "Soaked through your knickers already." He traced the damp cotton with his thumb, pressed, felt her hips lift into the pressure. "That for me?"
"Yes." Her voice cracked. "Cook. Please."
"Please what?"
"Please, Cook, I can'tâI need you inside meâplease, please, pleaseâ"
He pulled her jeans down and off before her knickers followed, wet enough that they there was a visible damp patch through the fabric. He knelt between her legs and just looked at her for a momentâthe slick shine of her cunt, the way her thighs trembled, the way her fingers twisted in the wrinkled sheets. Then he put his mouth on her. The taste hit him firstâsalt and skin, and then something deeper, muskier, entirely her. He dragged his tongue through her folds, slow, deliberate, and her whole body jolted like she'd been shocked. He held her hips down, flattened his tongue against her clit, and circled. Listened to her gasp. Felt her hand land in his hair, not pulling, just holding on.
He worked her like he had all the time in the world. Two years of want poured into every lick, every suck, every time he pushed a finger inside her and felt her clench around it. She was wet enough that he slid in easilyâone finger, then two, curling up toward her stomach, finding the spot that made her cry out.
"That's it," he groaned, punctuating the air with lewd, wet squelches as he finger fucked her. "You're shakin' and I haven't even gotten my cock in you yet."
She was closeâhe could feel it in the way her walls fluttered around his fingers, in the way her breath came in short, broken gasps. His mouth reattached to her clit, sucked hard, and she shattered with a sound that was almost a sob, her back arching off the mattress, her cunt gripping his fingers as she rode it out. He didn't stop. He worked her through it, gentle now, until she pushed his head away, oversensitive and shaking. He sat back, licked his fingers clean, watched her chest heave. He pulled his jacket off. His shirt. Kicked his jeans down. His cock was aching, flushed and slick at the tip. He saw her eyes track it, saw her lips part before he crawled over her, positioning himself between her legs. "Gonna fuck you now princess but I need you tell me how badly you want it, tell me how badly you want my cock."
"I want it." Her voice was a whine, "I want your cock, Cook pleaseâplease, I need it so bad."
He pushed in slow, inch by inch, savoring the feeling of finally. Her cunt was hot, wet and so fucking tight that he had to stop halfway, his forehead dropping to her shoulder, a low groan torn out of him. She stretched around him, her fingers clawing at his back, her breath hot against his ear.
"Fuck," he breathed. "Feel that? Feel how deep I am?"
She nodded, a choked sound in her throat.
"This is what you've been keeping from me." He pulled out, pushed back in, deeper. "Two years. Two years of watching you, wanting you, and now I'm finally inside you."
He found a rhythm. Long, slow strokes that made her gasp every time he bottomed out. He watched his cock slide into her, watched the way her hole stretched around him, slick with their shared juices and the sight made him impossibly harder. He told her to look at him, her eyes idly meeting his, dark and dazed. "When I come inside you, I want you watching."
He drove deeper. Harder. The bedframe knocked against the wall, a steady, frantic beat. She was meeting his thrusts now, her hips rising to meet him, her nails raking down his back. The pain was good. Grounding. He was losing his rhythm, the edge bearing down on him. "Yeah, you like that? You like being fucked like a shameless slag?"
"Yes." She keened, "yes, fuck, yes!"
He wrapped his hand around her throat. Not tightâjust there, a promise. "Come on my cock. Now."
She did. Her eyes stayed on his as her orgasm hit, her cunt squeezing him, and the feeling of it pulled him over with her. He drove into her one last time, buried deep, and came with a guttural sound that was almost her name. He stayed there inside her, breathing hard, the taste of her on his tongue. His hand was still on her throat, and he felt her swallow.
He pulled out slowly, watching his come leak out of her, mixing with her own. He collapsed beside her, dragging her into his arms, pressing his face into her hair. She was stillâtoo still, her body limp against his, her breathing slowing. He felt the silence settle. The wrongness creeping back in, cold along his spine. He looked at her face. Her eyes were open, fixed on the ceiling. A single tear slid down her temple and into her hairline, catching the light from the streetlamp outsideâor maybe it was just sweat. He didn't ask. He just pulled her closer, his arm locked around her waist, his face buried against her shoulder. What mattered, he decided, was that she was still there. The lie was still warm in his chest.
He held on, and he refused to let go.
Cook woke into a room that didnât sound like his life. No arcade machines shrieking, no Gareth shouting across Kingpinâs, no Ryan calling him useless from somewhere he couldnât see. Just grey morning pressed against the curtains, a phone buzzing on the nightstand, and the slow return of a body beside him before memory came with it: the mattress, the weight of her, the scratches down his back, his clothes puddled somewhere by the door. His stomach tightened before he opened his eyes.
She was awake, propped on one elbow with her chin resting in her palm, watching him from her side of the bed with the duvet pulled to her chest. Her attention stayed fixed on his face with the same strange focus sheâd had at the car window. The room smelled of something vaguely cozy, of slept-in sheets, of sexâblunt and undeniable. Something pleased and possessive tightened in Cookâs chest. He shouldâve made a joke, something filthy and easy, the kind he could use to make all of this normal, but for once nothing came fast enough.
âHow longâve you been doing that?â he asked.
She blinked slowly, like the question had reached her late. âI donât know.â
âThat s'not creepy at all.â
âI like watching you sleep.â
The words shouldâve worried him, should've made him pull away. Instead, they got under his skin in the worst possible way. Cook laughed because it was easier than admitting he liked itâliked her watching him, liked being looked at with that much need, liked that wanting him had made her strange. âYouâre mental.â
Her expression switched so abruptly his laugh died in his throat. The version of her that had been watching him sleep seemed to blink out, leaving her staring at him with naked panic, taking in the sheets, his bare chest, her own body under the duvet like the memory of last night had come rushing back to her all at once. Her breathing shallowed, quick and jagged. âWhy are you still here?â she whispered, and then, before he could answer, âCook, what happened?â
Cookâs throat went tight, because there she was: the girl from the car, the one who'd said friend, the one whoâd left him in the dark with his stupid broken twig and his stupid broken pride. She looked from him to the door and back again, one hand clamped to the duvet, the other pressed against her lips like she was trying not to be sick. âI donât feel right,â she said, voice fraying. âI donâtâfuck, I donât know what Iâm doing. Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry, Iâm being weird.â
The decent thing was humiliatingly simple: get dressed, leave, let her come back to herself without him in the room. Cook knew it in the way she kept looking toward the door, in the tremor running through her hands, in the terror she was trying and failing to swallow. Maybe she was on meds and had forgotten to take them. Maybe sheâd taken something last night and it was still dragging her sideways. He grabbed for both explanations because they kept him away from the willow, and because neither of them changed the part his worst self cared about: she had come back, crawled into bed with him, and let him believe heâd finally won.
Then the panic twisted again. Her face crumpled, and she reached for him so suddenly it startled him, both hands locking around his wrist. âNo, wait, please. Iâm sorry. I didnât mean that.â Her voice climbed, messy and frantic, apologies spilling over each other too quickly to sound steady. âI donât want you to go. I donât know why I said that. Please donât leave, Cook. Please.â
The question sat right in front of him, simple and unforgivable. What happened to you? What did I do? What are you when you look at me like that? Cook didnât ask it. He touched her face instead, and the alarm in her expression folded inward almost instantly, all that frantic energy narrowing until there was only him. Her grip loosened on his wrist only to slide higher, fingers curling into his forearm, and Cook felt the answer settle heavy in his stomach. That was all it took. Not an explanation. Not an apology. Just him.
âThere you are,â he said, softly enough to sound kind.
Her mouth trembled. âCook.â
He kissed her before she could say anything else, gentle at first, then deeper when she gave in with a shaky little sigh. The confusion left her quick, replaced by something eager and grateful, her fingers tightening around his forearm like she was apologising with her whole body, rightfully so.
When he slipped out of her bedroom later, it was only to fetch his cigarettes and charger from the car. That was what he told himself, anyway. He needed five minutes where she wasnât looking at him like that, where he could stand outside in yesterdayâs clothes and pretend this was just a bad comedown, missed meds, some private little breakdown he didnât need to understand because sheâd still crawled into bed with him. His phone buzzed while he was rummaging through the clutter in his center console.
The messages stacked up fast: come back, then why did you leave?, then are you angry?, then iâm sorry, then please come back upstairs. Cook stood beside his car with the charger in one hand and a cigarette forgotten behind his ear, staring at the screen while something pleased and rotten opened in him.
needy little thing arenât you
The reply came instantly.
only for you
Cook looked up at her window and let himself smile, because the unease was still there, but so was the want. Hers now. Loud. Clinging. Impossible to miss. Then he went back upstairs.
They arrived at Kingpinâs together later that day.
It wasnât subtle. Nothing about it was subtle, and that was why Cook liked it. He walked through the front doors in yesterdayâs work polo, unwashed and wrinkled from being yanked back on that morning, hair a mess, mouth bitten in one corner, with her beside him in the kind of silence that made talking feel more incriminating. The arcade lights were already on, blinking over empty machines before opening. Gareth was fighting with the coffee machine. JJ was stacking cups. Ryan looked up from the lane desk and went completely rigid. Tasha noticed a second later. Cook noticed her noticing.
He put his hand low on her back, not because he needed to guide her anywhere, but because Ryan was looking and Tasha was looking and Cook wanted the whole ugly, glowing place to know. Gareth stuck his head out of the office. âYouâre late.â
Cook grinned. âWorth the wait.â
âYouâre always fucking late.â
âStill got everyone looking, havenât I?â
âYouâve got five minutes before I dock your pay.â
She laughed under her breath.
Ryanâs eyes moved from Cook to her. âYou two come in together?â
Cook leaned against the desk. âObservant lad.â
Ryan didnât smile. âWhat happened?â
Cookâs grin widened because this was the bit heâd pictured without letting himself admit it: Ryan looking at him, Tasha pretending not to, everyone suddenly understanding that Cook hadnât read it wrong after all.
âWouldnât you like to know?â
Ryanâs jaw ticked. âCook.â
Ryanâs tone had a warning in it, the kind Cook might have heard if he wasnât already drunk on being right. Let Ryan look bothered. Let him stand there trying to work out how the sad prick from last night had walked in this morning with her at his side. Later, when she went to help JJ with the stockroom, Ryan cornered him near the shoe counter.
âWhat the fuck happened?â Ryan asked.
Cook grabbed a pair of returned shoes and sprayed them until the chemical smell hit the back of his throat. âYou told me to ask.â
Ryanâs eyes narrowed. âAnd?â
âAnd she changed her mind.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Cook leaned closer, lowering his voice into something mean and filthy. âMeans she came back to the car after all that friend bollocks, dragged me upstairs, and spent the night proving her mouth says one thing and the rest of her says summat else.â
Ryan stared at him, and Cook enjoyed it too much, the look on his face dragging something nastier out of him. âFunny, innit?â he said, tossing the shoes into the cubby. âGirls say one thing, then get all upset when you stop believing them.â
Then Ryan asked, âWas she on something?â
The question cut through the bragging.
Cookâs smile twitched. âWhat?â
âLast night,â Ryan continued. âWas she on something?â
âWhy?â
âShe was acting weird.â
Cook scoffed. âJealousyâs ugly on you, mate.â
âIâm serious.â
âYeah, tragic, that.â
Ryan looked toward the stockroom. âMolly, maybe. Pills. Whatever. She wasnât herself.â
Cook hated how quickly the idea caught. Not because it made him feel guilty, but because it gave him a way out. Molly was better than magic. Molly was normal. Molly meant the willow was cheap bullshit from a dusty shop and not something that had split her open in the middle of the night. Molly meant sheâd wanted him already and only needed a little chemical shove to stop acting so fucking pure about it. Molly meant Cook hadnât done anything except stand there when the truth finally crawled out of her.
He laughed. âYou saying she needed drugs to fancy me?â
Ryanâs expression didnât move. âIâm saying maybe donât be a smug prick until you know what happened.â
Cook hated Ryan for saying it, but the excuse was already there, useful and ready-made, some rotten part of him clung to it before he could look too closely. Later, behind Kingpinâs, she followed him into the smoking area and stayed close enough that he could feel her beside him without looking. Rain had left the concrete black and shiny; cardboard boxes slumped by the bins, soft with damp, while the fryer vent breathed hot grease into the cold. Cook lit his cigarette, took one drag, then held it out. She took it automatically, fingers brushing his.
âWere you on something last night?â he asked, casual as he could make it.
She paused with the filter near her mouth. âWhat?â
âRyan reckons you were acting weird. Molly or some shit.â
Her expression went blank in a way that made the alley seem louder. For a second, she looked almost confused, like the word had opened a door she didnât remember walking through. Cook saw her searching for an answer that wasnât there. Then she looked at him and nodded.
âYeah,â she said. âMolly.â
Relief opened in his chest so fast it felt obscene. There it was: normal, dirty, easy. Not a wish. Not him. Just drugs, some bad choices and her finally admitting what she wanted.
âThere we go,â he said.
She frowned slightly. âWhat?â
âNothing.â
She took a drag and exhaled slowly. âI didnât think itâd hit like that.â
Cook stepped closer. âHit how?â
Her gaze dropped to his mouth, and whatever doubt had been in her face went soft around the edges. âYou know how.â
Cook smiled.
That was the version he chose.
 After that, things were good. Good in the way a bad idea could be good if Cook kept calling it molly and let her look at him like it was love. Good in stolen minutes, bitten mouths, her fingers hooked through his belt loop near the staff corridor while he pretended he was only hanging there because he was lazy. Good in coffee waiting before his shifts and his jacket disappearing over her shoulders during smoke breaks. Good in Cook sitting on the shoe counter with his knees spread while she stood between them, close enough for him to murmur something filthy against her ear and watch whatever sheâd been saying fall apart in her mouth.
She started arranging herself around him like it was natural. If he came in at four, she was there at half three with a cold drink already waiting with a smile aimed straight at him. If he closed, she lingered after clocking out and pretended she was helping. If Gareth sent him to unjam a machine, she found some excuse to cross the arcade, drifting through the blue glow and cheap ticket noise until she was beside him again. She fixed his collar before customers came in, plucked lint off his polo, stole chips from his tray during their lunch break, and let him drag her into corners for kisses that left them late, breathless, and grinning like they hadnât done anything wrong. Cook got used to her hand at his waist, her mouth near his ear, the constant heat of her attention following him from counter to lane to arcade floor. He got used to people looking. To Ryan going quiet whenever she touched him. To Tasha glancing away a second too late. He got used to being wanted loudly, stupidly, without all the careful little limits sheâd put around herself before.
For a little while, the wrongness dressed itself up so well he could almost call it happiness. It got into the small things first. Her lip balm in his pocket. Her lighter rolling around his cupholder. Her drink waiting beside his on the counter before heâd even thought to ask. She sat in his passenger seat with her knees tucked up, changed his music without asking, and kissed him over the gearshift when he told her she had shit taste. She took photos of him when he wasnât looking, laughed when he told her to delete them, then kept them anyway because apparently she liked him best when he was scowling. He called her his girl once as a joke, some filthy little throwaway line near the prize counter, and watched her whole expression change. So he said it again. After that, he said it whenever he wanted to feel powerful.
The texts became part of the weather: where are you? then answer me, then are you with tasha?, then miss you, sorry, i just miss you. Cook liked the apologies best, which was a nasty thing to learn about himself.
At night, she still watched him sleep. Heâd surface to grey light or the thin orange stripe of a streetlamp through the curtains and find her awake beside him, chin tucked against her arm, studying him with an almost worshipful stillness. The first cold prickle never lasted. It always got drowned out by the thicker, meaner satisfaction underneath: she was losing sleep over him. She was guarding him from the dark like leaving him alone for eight hours would be some kind of betrayal. Any decent bloke would have hated it. Cook started staying over more.
At first, the missing things were small enough to laugh at. His lighter vanished from beside the till and turned up in her jacket pocket. The pen he always chewed at work disappeared from the front desk. His spare name badge went from the staff room. A torn strip of red gift ribbon heâd tied around his neck during a kid's birthday party at work as a joke somehow ended up tucked beneath her pillow. Each thing had an excuse on its own. Together, they started looking deliberate. One night, searching her drawer for a charger, he found them arranged together: lighter, pen, badge, ribbon, a crumpled cigarette packet with the corner bitten where heâd opened it with his teeth, a receipt with his handwriting on the back, a loose button from the polo heâd split during a shift, and a folded rota with every one of his hours circled in black pen. His stomach turned.
She appeared in the doorway behind him. âDonât be creeped out.â
Cook looked back at the drawer. âWhat is this?â
âNothing.â
âThatâs not nothing. Thatâs a fucking drawer full of me.â
Her voice went small, anxious. âI like having pieces of you when youâre not here.â
A normal person wouldâve left. Cook shut the drawer instead. âThatâs fucked.â
âI know.â
He looked at her properly then, standing there waiting for him to decide what she was, punishment and forgiveness both written all over her face. Cook stepped closer. âYouâre a proper little psycho, arenât you?â Her expression opened at that, not wounded, not ashamedâgrateful, like heâd found the right name for her and she loved him for saying it. That shouldâve sent him running; instead, it made him feel like a bastard and a prize at once.
Ryan tried talking to her a few days into whatever Cook had decided this was. Cook was crouched near the ball returns, pretending to inspect a jam that didnât exist so he could keep slacking off, when he saw Ryan catch her by the staff door. Not touch her. Not block her exactly. Ryan was too careful for that. He just stepped in close enough to make the conversation private. Cook stopped pretending to work.
âYou canât just ignore me,â Ryan said.
She looked past him toward the lanes. âIâm working.â
âYou havenât answered a single text.â
âDonât text me anymore.â
Ryanâs face changed. âSince when?â
She blinked. Cook saw the question hit something. Not memory exactly, not recognition, but a loose thread tugged too hard. Her mouth parted, and for a second she looked at Ryan like she could almost remember why his voice was supposed to matter. Then she saw Cook. Whatever had slipped in her expression vanished. Her attention locked back onto him, simple and immediate, like the rest of the room had ceased to exist. âSince him."
Cook should have wondered why Ryan sounded less confused than hurt. He should have wondered what sort of texts sheâd stopped answering, and why the words donât text me anymore had come out so cold and clipped, like something in her had already decided for her. Instead, all he heard was the finality. Ryan followed her gaze, and for one second his expression turned black with hatred. Cook, the bastard he was, smiled.
After that, the days started arranging themselves around him: work, smoke breaks, her flat, his car, her hands finding him before he had to ask. Cook let himself mistake it. That was the stretch where his version of things started feeling easier to live with. The willow had been nothing. Ryan had been right about the molly. Sheâd been too careful before, too sober, too caught up in whatever walls sheâd built around herself, and the night in his car had only knocked them down. Cook hadnât made her want him. Heâd just been there when she finally stopped pretending she was too good for him. Maybe heâd been right all along.
He took her bowling after close one night when Gareth dipped out early and JJ pretended not to notice them turning lane seven back on. Neither of them changed out of their work attire. She bowled terribly, as always. Cook wasn't much better, cheating by stepping over the line and then arguing with the scoring screen as if the machine could be bullied into boosting his numbers. She giggled until she had to sit down on the ball return, and Cook kissed her there under the lane lights with the pins resetting uselessly in the distance. Then he took her for 2 a.m. kebabs and watched sauce drip onto her fingers. She licked it off without thinking. And Cook, because he was Cook and apparently incapable of letting anything stay innocent, leaned in and said, âCareful. Keep doing that and Iâm gonna start thinking you want something in your mouth that isnât garlic sauce.â She shoved his shoulder hard enough that he nearly dropped his food, laughing despite herself. She took another one of his hoodies that night and didnât give it back. He pretended to complain. He liked seeing her in it too much to actually mean it.
She came to his flat and cleared three empty lager cans and a crumbled burger wrapper off his dusty dresser while calling him a slob. Cook caught her by the waist before she could make it to the bin, pulled her down onto the mattress, and she went willingly, eagerly, already kissing him like sheâd only been waiting for him to give her the excuse. They fucked with the cans and the wrapper left sitting on the floor and the sheets half off the bed, quick and messy, and too pleased with themselves to care. After, she lay with her cheek near his shoulder and traced the tattoo on his arm until the gentleness of it started crawling under his skin, so Cook said something filthy just to ruin it. She didnât get annoyed. She kissed him instead. He started to crave the way she changed when he claimed her out loud. Started doing it in front of people because it made her lean closer and made everyone else understand she wasnât available to them anymore. Started testing small things because testing let him pretend it wasnât control. Come here. Look at me. Say it again. Donât answer him. Stay.
She listened. God help him, he loved that she listened.
The party happened on a Friday in a flat belonging to someone Tasha knew, or maybe someone Tasha had hooked up with, or maybe both. Cook didnât ask. It was small, mixed, and noisy: Kingpinâs people, friends of friends, two blokes from a football team nobody cared about, a girl from the bar down the road, someoneâs flatmate smoking out the kitchen window, cheap beer and liquor bottles sweating on every available surface. The living room was too warm and too crowded, music rattling from a speaker on the windowsill, bottles lined along the coffee table, crisps crushed into the rug.
Cook arrived with her tucked into his side and immediately felt better than everyone. That was the point of bringing her. Not the only point, maybe, but the one he liked most. He liked seeing people see. Liked the glances. Liked Tashaâs startled little look before she hid it behind her drink. Liked Ryan watching from across the room with his jaw set like heâd bitten into something bitter. She sat close to Cook on the sofa, thigh against his, fingers wound into the sleeve of his hoodie. Whenever he shifted, she shifted too. Whenever he laughed, her eyes cut to him first, sharp and swift, as if she had to know whoâd earned it. A decent man might have been worried. Cook felt worshipped.
Truth or dare started because everyone was drunk and unoriginal. Cook picked dare because truth was for pussies and people with fewer stories. A bloke whose name Cook didnât remember grinned and pointed. âKiss the person to your left.â
The room reacted before Cook even looked. Laughter, whistles, someone saying, âOh, shit.â Someone else going, âThatâs Tasha, innit?â Cook turned. Tasha sat to his left, eyes widening before she giggled and lifted her beer like a shield. âNo, donât make it weird.â
Cook looked at her lips. He didnât mean to for long. He meant to for exactly long enough. Then he looked back at the woman pressed against his side. Her expression had gone empty. The room was still laughing, but Cook felt the change move through her before anyone else noticed. Her fingers tightened around the beer bottle in her hand. At first it was nothing. A little pressure. A little stillness. Enough for him to see because he was watching for it, because some sick, glittering part of him wanted to know what sheâd do if someone tried to take what she thought was hers. The bottle cracked. The sound cut through the room. Beer spilled over her fingers and down onto the rug. Brown glass fractured in her grip and scattered near her feet, and the laughter died badly, piece by piece, until only the music kept playing too loud from the windowsill.
Tasha jerked back with a sharp, âJesus,â and Cook stood so fast his knee knocked the table. âOi.â She didnât look at him. She was already crossing the space, not shouting, not rushing, which somehow made it worse, the almost-empty bottle hanging loose at her side while everyone's wide, horrified eyes stayed glued to her. Tasha pressed back into the sofa, confusion giving way to alarm, âWhat the fuck?â
She stopped close enough that Tasha sank into the shabby cushions, and the jagged neck of the bottle rose between them, amber glass flashing under the light. âIf your lips go anywhere near him,â she said, calm enough to make it sound decided, âIâll smash your teeth down your throat and watch you choke on them, you stupid bitch.â
The room went quiet in a way parties werenât supposed to. Tasha sat pinned against the sofa, beer forgotten in her lap; cups paused halfway to mouths, knees locked at odd angles on the carpet, and the bloke whoâd given the dare looked sober now, his grin gone slack and useless. Sour lager soaked into the rug near her shoes while Ryan eased himself up from the armchair, careful as if any sudden noise might turn her on him. She leaned closer. âI mean it. Iâll carve your face open with this bottle until no one can tell where your slag mouth used to be.â
Cook caught her wrist. âHey.â She jolted at the touch like sheâd been woken mid-nightmare, her stare dropping to the glass in her grip, the beer running over her fingers, the shards scattered near her feet. Whatever blank certainty had carried her cracked all at once. âI donât feel right,â she said, voice thin enough to nearly disappear under the music still playing from the windowsill. Cook heard her, but he also felt the whole room watching him now: Ryan by the armchair, Tasha with her palms half-raised, everyone waiting for him to handle it because it was his mess, wasnât it? His scene. His problem. His intense new girlfriend.
He stepped in carefully and took the bottle neck from her before she cut herself worse. âLook at me.â She did. Her breathing hitched. Her attention kept snagging and loosening, and for a blink she was the girl from that first morning after again, the one whoâd asked why he was still in her bed, scared and trapped somewhere under her own skin. Cook shouldâve let that scare him sober; instead, he touched her jaw. âIt was nothing.â
She shook her head once. âI donât know why Iââ
âYou know what you want.â
The words came out quietly, and they worked. He felt the exact instant she latched onto them, fear rerouting itself into devotion as her eyes fixed on his. Her free hand grabbed the front of his shirt, and then she was kissing him in front of everyone, hard enough that the awkwardness spread through the room like smoke. Cook let her. Of course he did. Tasha looked away first. Ryan didnât. Cook got her into the hallway after, away from the stale crush of the living room and the whispers already crawling through it. Someone had turned the music down; someone else was blotting lager out of the rug with kitchen roll. She stood near the bathroom door, staring at her empty hand. âDid I scare everyone?â Cook leaned against the wall opposite her. âItâs a party. People love drama.â Her voice sank. âI scared myself.â
That shouldâve stopped him, but Cook only pushed off the wall and came closer. âYouâre alright.â She looked at him. âAm I?â He gave her the answer like it was obvious. âYouâre with me.â The desperate gratitude returned the moment he gave her somewhere to put herself, and Cook felt the power of it all the way down to his fingertips. He didnât have to ask anymore, didnât have to risk humiliation. He could say look at me, and she would. He could say come here, and sheâd come. Heâd wanted confirmation. Now he had it.
At work, she helped JJ fix the ticket machine and got grease on her sleeve. She spent ten minutes arguing with a little girl about whether the purple dinosaur prize was cooler than the green one, with such fierce seriousness that Cook laughed from the lane desk until Gareth told him to stop frightening the customers. She kissed him breathless behind the staff door after, tasting like cherry slush and cheese from the nachos sheâd snuck. For a few hours at a time, she was almost normal. Almost. Then Tasha would come too close, and it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. After the party, Tasha became careful around him. Embarrassed, maybe. Scared of the bottle incident. She didnât flirt the way she used to, didnât hover with her drink tucked to her chest or lean too close just because she could. If anything, fear made her quieter with him, anxious at the edges, her concern slipping out in small, stupid ways she could pretend were nothing. She asked if he was okay. Brought him a drink at work and left it beside him without mentioning it. When Gareth shouted from lane five about a jammed return, she came to find Cook by the prize counter with the lane key already in her hand.
âGareth wants you,â she said.
âPopular man, me.â
âMachineâs eating balls again.â
âKinky.â
âCook.â
He grinned, and it almost felt normal. Tasha held the key out. Cook reached for it at the same time she leaned past him to avoid a kid sprinting toward the claw machines, and her fingers knocked against his. Nothing much. A brush of skin. A tiny accidental touch that shouldâve meant less than nothing, especially after everything. Except Cook didnât pull away. He let their fingers stay tangled around the key for one second longer than they needed to, not enough for Tasha to call it flirting, not enough for anyone else to notice, but enough. He felt her watching from the prize station before he looked. So he made himself look. He told himself he was just checking. Testing whether the molly excuse still held up after weeks of this. Whether things had settled. Whether the weirdness was fading. He knew that was bullshit. He wanted to see if she still went crazy for him.
The prize display cracked under her palm an hour later. It happened in the middle of a Saturday rush, with the arcade full of kids and the lanes roaring. She stood behind the counter, hand pressed flat against the glass case full of candy rings, plastic tiaras, rubber snakes, glow sticks, ticket bundles, and stuffed animals with dead little sewn-on smiles. The glass spiderwebbed beneath her. Blood slipped down her wrist. For half a second, the whole prize area froze. Then a child started crying. Cook was already in motion.
âWhat the fuck?â he snapped, grabbing a towel from behind the counter and wrapping it around her hand.
She didnât look at the blood. She looked at Tasha then at Cook. âShe touched you."
Behind him, Ryan said his name like a warning. âCook.â
Cook ignored him. He got her into the back office with one hand around her uninjured wrist, kicked the door shut behind them, and grabbed the first-aid kit off the wall. The fluorescent light buzzed overhead, that same broken note that always made his teeth itch. The office felt too small after the noise outside, too bright under the strip light, full of dust, stale coffee, and old paper. Garethâs desk buried under paperwork he kept meaning to file and never did. A cracked mirror above the sink threw Cookâs reflection back at him: messy hair, mouth set too tight, eyes too sharp for someone pretending he had this under control.
âSit,â he told her. She sat on the edge of Garethâs desk with her cut hand held stiffly in her lap, blood smeared across her palm where the glass had bitten into it. Quiet now that there was no one left to threaten.
âFucking hell,â Cook muttered, dropping the kit open beside her. His fingers felt clumsy as he dug out the antiseptic wipes. âWhatâd you do that for?â
She didnât answer. Just watched him too closely, too calmly, like some part of her was still back there, still seeing Tasha too near him, still hearing the bottle crack in her hand. Cook tore open a wipe. âThis is gonna sting.â
She didnât flinch when he pressed it to the cut. Didnât make a sound. Only breathed a little faster, her chest rising and falling beneath her work polo as he cleaned the blood from her palm. It wasnât deep, but it bled enough to stain the paper towels red, enough to make the office smell faintly metallic under the old coffee and disinfectant.
âShouldâve seen your face,â he said, not looking up. âWhen she got near me. Looked like you wanted to kill her.â
Silence. Then, quietly, âI would have.â
His hands stopped. Cook looked up at her. She meant it. There was nothing dramatic in her voice, no shaking, no performance. Just certainty, flat and terrifying, like she was telling him the weather, his voice rough as sandpaper as he asked, âyeah? Youâd kill for me?â
âIâd do anything.â
The words cut straight through him. Too much. Too easy. Too fucking far. But heat pooled low in his stomach anyway, and for one second Cook almost hated himself enough to stop. Almost. He wound the bandage around her palm, layer over gauzy layer, then pressed the adhesive down with his thumb. âThere. All fixed.â
She didnât pull her hand away. Her fingers curled around his. âCook.â
His name sounded foreign in her mouth when she was like this. Starved. Soft. Already reaching. Then her expression shifted. Not much. Just enough for him to see it happen. âI didnât mean to do that."
Cook went still. She stared down at her bandaged hand, breathing too carefully, like one wrong inhale might split the moment open. âI didnât. I donât know why I did that.â
There she was. Not the version who clung to his sleeve and watched his mouth like it was the only thing keeping her upright. Not the version who smiled when he called her his girl. This one looked at the blood drying near her wrist like it belonged to something sheâd woken from too late. Cook could have told her then. He could have said, I did something. I made a wish. I think I did this to you. Instead, he touched her wrist, her gaze snapping to his. âYou were jealous."
Her mouth parted. âI donât want to be.â
Cook moved closer, still holding her wrist, thumb pressed lightly over her pulse. âYeah, you do.â
She shook her head, but there was no force behind it.
âYou just donât like her looking at me.â
âNo,â she whispered.
âYou donât like anyone looking at me.â
Her breath hitched.
âThatâs alright,â he murmured, making it sound gentle, making it sound reasonable instead of irrational. âI like it.â
Something in her gave way beneath his hand. The dread in her face softened, blurred, turned inward until it had nowhere to go but him. Her injured hand curled against the bandage, and the other reached for his shirt, careful at first, then tighter, pulling him between her knees like she needed him close before she could breathe properly. âCook.â
âYeah?â
âKiss me.â
He should have said no. Should have stepped back, opened the door, left her in the back office with the buzzing light and the stale coffee and the blood on the paper towels. Should have let her surface again before he dragged her under. Instead, he leaned in. His mouth crushing against hers, one hand fisting in the collar of her polo, the other bracing against the desk behind her. The kiss was all teeth and spit, It was pure hungerâsloppy, desperate, the kind of kiss that said he'd been holding back all day and the dam had just fucking broken. She made a noise against his mouth, something caught between a gasp and a moan. And he swallowed it. His tongue pushed past her lips, tasted the slush, the lip balm, the mint of her toothpaste from this morning. He didn't care what. He just wanted more of it. More of her. His name tag scraped against hers as he pressed closer, the metal edges catching, and he felt her handâthe bandaged oneâcome up to grip his shoulder. Her fingers dug in, hard, through the cheap fabric of his red polo. The pain was good. Grounding. Proof that this was real.
"Fuck," he breathed against her mouth, reeling back just enough to look at her. Her pupils were dialated, lips wet and swollen. She looked fucked out already, and he'd barely touched her. "You've no idea how bad i wanted to fuck you out there."
"Do it," she said, her voice rough and needy. "Don't stop."
He didn't need to be told twice. This time, he bit her lower lip, tugged it between his teeth, and she gaspedâa sharp little sound that went straight to his cock. His hands found her hips, pulled her against him, let her feel exactly what she was doing to him. The hard length of him pressed against her through two layers of denim and boxers, and she rocked into it, a small involuntary movement that made his breath catch.
"Yeah," he muttered, his mouth trailing down her jaw, her throat, sucking at the skin just below her ear. "Yeah, that's it. Fucking move against me."
His hands slid up her sides, under the hem of her polo. The skin of her stomach was warm, soft, and he felt her shiver as his calloused fingers traced upward. He pushed the fabric up, exposing the curve of her ribs, the bottom of her braâa simple black thing, nothing fancy, and that made it hotter. She wasn't trying. She was just here, wanting him.
"Off," he said, tugging at her polo. "Take it off."
She did, pulling it over her head in one motion, and the name tag clattered against the desk. Cook's eyes raked over herâblack bra, collarbones, the slight sheen of sweat on her chest from the rush. He wanted to put his mouth on every inch of her. He reached behind her, undid the clasp with a practiced flick, and the bra fell away. Her tits were perfect as always, her nipples stiff. He didn't wait. He bent his head and took one in his mouth, laving his tongue over the peak, sucking hard enough to make her gasp.
"Oh, fuck," she breathed, her fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. "Cookâ"
He switched to the other breast, giving it the same attention, biting down just enough to make her hips jerk. His hand slid down her stomach, past the waistband of her jeans, palming her through the denim. She was wet. He could feel the heat of her through the fabric, and it made his mouth water.
"Been thinking about this all shift?" he asked, his voice rough, his lips still brushing her nipple. "Thinking about me while you were counting tickets, fixing Garethâs shitty prize display, pretending you werenât watching me the entire time."
"Yes," she whined, the word coming out broken and desperate. "God, yes. Every time you walked past."
"Good girl." He said it like a reward, and she shuddered. "That's what I like to hear."
He popped the button on her jeans and pulled them down her legs, her knickers going with them, helping her out of them before tossing them aside. He pushed her back onto the desk, laid her out like a feast, and dropped to his knees between her thighs. The fluorescent light above buzzed harshly, casting everything in that sick green pallor, but he didn't care. He just wanted to see her. Taste her.
"Look at you," he said, his thumbs spreading her open. She was glistening, wet, her cunt swollen and ready for him. "Fucking gorgeous. All this for me?"
"All for you." Her voice was barely a whisper.
He leaned in and licked a slow, deliberate stripe up her slit, from entrance to clit, and she bucked off the desk. Her taste hit his tongueâmusky, sweet, overwhelmingâand he groaned against her, his eyes closing. This was what heâd wanted before heâd ever had it, and having it hadnât cured him of a single thing. If anything, it had made him worse. Two years of wanting her had turned into something uglier now, something fed instead of satisfied, because the fantasy wasnât impossible anymore. He knew what she sounded like. Knew how she looked at him when the wish took hold. Knew he could have her in the back office, in his flat, wherever he decided, and the worst part was how quickly that had started to feel like something he was owed. He ate her like a man starved, his tongue circling her clit, his fingers sliding inside her, curling, searching for that spot that would make her scream. She was dripping, soaking his chin, her hands gripping the edge of the desk, her breath coming in sharp little cries. The sound of his mouth on her filled the small officeâwet, obscene, rhythmic.
"You like that?" he asked, pulling back just enough to speak, his chin glistening. "You like my tongue in your cunt?"
"Yesâfuckâyesâ"
"Tell me." He pressed a kiss to her inner thigh, then bit down, hard. "Tell me what you want."
"I want you to fuck me." Her voice cracked. "Please, Cook. I need you inside me."
"That's my girl." He stood, his hands going to his belt, undoing it with quick, rough movements. His trousers dropped, his boxers with them, and his cock sprang freeâhard, leaking, the tip already slick with pre-come. He stroked himself once, twice, watching her watch him. "You see what you do to me? See what you've always done?"
She reached for him, her bandaged hand wrapping around the base of his cock, guiding him to her entrance. He let her. He wanted her to be part of this, to want it as much as he did.
"You sure you want this at work?" he asked, even though he knew he wouldn't stop if she said no. Even though the thought of stopping was physically painful.
"I want it," she said. "I want you."
He pushed in. The first inch was heavenâtight, wet, hot. He had to pause, had to breathe, had to let her adjust. His forehead dropped to hers, their breaths mingling in the stale office air.
"Fuck," he whispered. "You always feel so fucking good."
She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, and he groaned, his hips beginning to move. Slow at first, a long thrust that buried him to the hilt, then a pull-back that left him aching, then another thrust, harder this time. The desk creaked beneath them, the old wood groaning with every movement.
"Yeah," he said, picking up speed. "Yeah, take it. Take all of it."
She nodded, her eyes squeezed shut, her mouth open in a silent moan. He watched her faceâthe way her brow furrowed, the way her lips parted, the way her breath hitched with every thrustâand it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
"Look at me." He grabbed her chin, forced her eyes open. "I want you to watch me fuck you. I want you to see who's making you feel this good."
Her eyes met his, hazy yet focused, and he felt his balls tighten. He was close already, too close, but he wasn't done with her yet. He pulled out, ignoring her whimper of protest, and flipped her over. Her hands hit the desk, her ass in the air, and he lined himself up again, sliding into her from behind with one smooth thrust. The angle was deeper, tighter, and she cried out, her fingers scrabbling for purchase on the cluttered surface, knocking papers everywhere.
"That's it," he said, his hand smacking her ass with a sharp slap. The sound echoed in the small room. "That's my good little slag. Taking my cock like a fucking champ." He fucked her fast and mean, his hips slapping against her ass, his hand tangled in her hair, pulling her head back. The fluorescent light flickered above them, the buzz a constant backdrop to the wet sounds of their fucking, her moans, his grunts, the creak of the desk.
"You like that?" he asked, his voice a snarl. "You like being fucked like this? Like the dirty little whore you are?"
"Yesâ"
"Yeah, you do. You love it. You've wanted this since the moment you saw me, haven't you? All those months of pretending you weren't interested, that I was just a friend, and now look at you. Look at you, lettin' me fuck you stupid at work."
She didn't answer, just moaned, and he slapped her ass again, hard enough to leave a palm print. "I said, haven't you?"
"Yes!" she cried. "Yes, I've wanted this. I've wanted you."
"Good girl." He reached around, his fingers finding her clit, rubbing tight circles as he kept thrusting. "Now come for me. Come on my cock like the good little slag you are."
She did. She shattered around him, her cunt clenching, her whole body shaking, a broken cry tearing from her throat. The sensation pushed him over the edge. He buried himself deep, his hips stuttering, and came inside her with a groan that was almost a sob. Hot, thick, filling her, marking her from the inside. He stayed there for a moment, his forehead resting between her shoulder blades, his breath ragged. The silence was heavy, broken only by the buzz of the light and the distant sounds of the arcadeâthe beep of a ticket machine, the laugh of a customer, the crack of bowling balls hitting multiple sets of pins. The real world, still spinning, completely unaware of what had just happened. He pulled out slowly, watching his come leak out of her, running down her thigh. Didn't matter how many times he's seen it happen now, something primal and possessive still coiled in his chest.
"We need to get you on birth control," he said, his tone casual, matter-of-fact. "Can't have you getting knocked up. Not yet. Not unless I decide I want that."
She didn't answer. She was still leaning over the desk, her breath shaky, her body trembling. He reached for the box of tissues on the shelf, pulled a handful out, and handed them to her.
"Clean up," he said, already pulling his trousers up, buckling his belt. "We've got another two hours of shift left."
She took the tissues, wiping herself slowly, and he watched her. The bandage on her hand was stained with a faint red, the wound probably bleeding again from how hard she'd gripped the desk. He should redo it. He should take care of her. He didn't. Rather, he lit a cigarette, the smoke curling up toward the buzzing light, and let the lie settle warm and comfortable in his chest. She belonged to him. That was all that mattered. She'd wanted him enough to break glass, enough to bleed, enough to end up here on this grimy desk, her legs shaking, his come still inside her. And if that wasn't realâif the wish had made it happenâhe didn't want to know.
After that, Kingpinâs got quieter in the worst possible way. Tasha kept their conversation polite and professional. Ryan watched Cook with open dislike. Gareth complained about the cracked display and threatened to take damages out of everyoneâs wages, which everyone ignored because Gareth threatened that weekly. JJ asked if she was okay, and she smiled too brightly and said yes. Later, Cook found her near the womenâs bathroom, standing too close to Tasha. She wasnât touching her. Wasnât yelling. Just speaking softly beneath the arcade noise, her body angled in that calm, awful way Cook was starting to recognize. He couldnât hear the words, but he saw Tashaâs face. When Tasha walked away, shoulders tight, Cook caught up with her. âWhat was that?â
Tasha looked at him. âAsk your girlfriend.â
âSheâs notââ
He stopped.
Tashaâs mouth tightened. âRight.â
Cook found her in the staff corridor, wiping nonexistent dust from her bandage. âWhatâd you say to her?â
She looked up. âNothing.â
âDidn't look like nothing.â
A tiny smile touched her mouth, and it should have pissed him off more than it did. âShe thinks sheâs special. She thinks because you look at her, it means something.â
Cookâs throat tightened. He should have told her it didnât. Should have said Tasha was a coworker, that none of this was natural, that she couldnât go around threatening people because he had an ego and a wandering mouth. Instead, he asked, âAnd does it?â
Her expression sharpened, and Cook felt it low in his chest: the warning, the want, the sickness of being answered exactly how he wanted.
The first time someone actually paid for what Cook wanted happened just after close. One of the girls from the party came into Kingpinâs with friends, the one whoâd giggled too loudly when Cook got dared to kiss Tasha. Cook didnât remember her name. He remembered her from later, after the bottle incident had been laughed off badly and the music had been turned up again, when his girl had dragged him down the hall to the bathroom and made him wait outside the door because apparently even pissing required a fucking chaperone. Heâd leaned against the opposite wall, basking in the stupid satisfaction of being needed that badly, when the girl had wandered out from the living room with a beer in her hand and stopped at the mouth of the hall. âYouâre trouble, arenât you?â sheâd said. The bathroom door had stayed shut. The music had been too loud for anything to carry. His girl hadnât heard a word, which meant Cook got to enjoy the attention without paying for it. And Cook remembered every bit of female attention if it could be used later to soothe himself or make himself worse.
Near closing, she came up to the front desk and made a joke about the broken bottle.
âYour girlfriend still mad at everyone?â she asked.
Cook glanced toward her restocking prizes. âWouldnât call her that.â
âSeemed like she would.â The girl tore a corner from an old receipt then, borrowed the pen chained to the counter, and wrote something down with her shoulder angled so her friends couldnât see but they were giggling.
âJust in case she ever lets you off the lead,â she smirked , sliding it toward him.
Cook should have thrown it away. He didnât. He glanced at the number, grinned despite himself, and tucked the scrap under the register because he couldnât help it. Or because he didnât want to. Twenty minutes later, when he took the rubbish out through the back, he heard the impact before he saw anything. Not a scream first. Not even a shout. Just the hard, wet sound of someone being driven into brick, followed by a choked cry that seemed to catch halfway up a throat and die there. Cook stopped with the bin bag hanging from one hand. The girl from the party was near the car park wall, bent sideways against the bricks while her friend stood several feet away with both hands clamped over her mouth. The girlâs phone lay near the bins, screen shattered across the wet pavement in sharp little flecks, still lighting up uselessly beneath the rain. Her bag had spilled open near the wheel of a parked car, lipstick and keys scattered through the puddles.
She had one hand twisted in the girlâs jacket and the other pressed against the back of her head. For one horrible second, Cook saw the motion before his brain managed to dress it up as anything else. She shoved the girl forward again. Her face hit the wall with a dull crack. The girl made a broken sound and slid down a few inches before she yanked her back up by the collar. Blood smeared the brick where her mouth had struck it. More ran from her cheek and over her lips, dripping onto the collar of her jacket in quick, dark spots. She tried to turn away, but Cookâs girl caught her by the hair and slammed her sideways into the wall hard enough that her knees gave out. Her friend was screaming, âstop! Get off her!â
She let go so suddenly the girl dropped. She hit the asphalt on one hip, palms skidding through dirty water and broken bits of her own phone. Her friend lunged forward, then froze when Cookâs girl turned her head, slow and empty, blood smeared across the knuckles of one hand. Cookâs first thought wasn't, Is she alive? His first thought was, Fuck. Then she looked at him. His jacket hung from her shoulders. Her hand flexed at her side, fingers uncurling one by one like she was only just remembering she had them. Her knuckles were split. A thin red line ran down from her wrist and disappeared under the sleeve, but her expression was calm enough to make the cold air cut sharper in his lungs.
Ryan came through the back door behind him. âWhat happened?â
The girl on the ground sobbed into the pavement. Cook didnât answer. She stepped closer, eyes fixed on him and nothing else. âShe gave you her number.â
Ryan swore under his breath. The friend was crying now, one hand shaking around her phone as she tried to dial with wet fingers. The girl from the party curled in on herself near the wall, one hand pressed hard to her bleeding mouth like she was trying to keep her face together. Rainwater carried thin red threads through the cracks in the pavement, around the smashed phone, around the dropped keys shining under the security light. Cook stared at all of it. The blood on the brick. The girlâs hair gummied to her cheek. The receipt corner still tucked under the register inside, stupid and flimsy and somehow louder than anything in his head. The stain on the sleeve of his jacket like something heâd signed for and forgotten he could be charged with. He thought of the willow snapping in his fingers. Her tap on the car window. Molly, stupid and convenient. The way she kept waking up confused. The beer bottle. The prize case. Tasha backing away near the bathroom.
He had wanted her to want him so badly it ruined her. Now there was blood outside Kingpinâs, and he still had to bite back the part of himself that wanted to call it devotion. Heâd wished to be wanted; the wish granted him violence, and some sick part of him still mistook it for love.
By morning, Kingpinâs had turned the blood into gossip. No one had been charged. That was the first miracle, if Cook was still stupid enough to call anything about it miraculous. The girl from the party and her friend gave one version, shaking and crying under the ugly security light while rainwater thinned the red on the pavement. Cook gave another, mouth tasting of smoke and lies, saying heâd come out too late, saying she was already on the ground, saying maybe thereâd been lads hanging about near the bins earlier. Didnât know them. Didnât get a proper look. The camera over the back door didnât reach the car park wall. The one that should have covered the bins had been dead for months because Gareth refused to pay for anything that didnât immediately stop customers complaining. There was no clean footage. No simple story. No neat little clip to play back and prove what had happened in the dark.
Just two scared girls saying one thing. Cook saying another. And Gareth getting red in the face because he liked any explanation that didnât come with police sniffing around his business, compensation claims, or questions about why half the security system at Kingpinâs existed purely for decoration.
By open, the car park had already been sanded down into something easier to repeat. Sheâd mouthed off. Sheâd slipped. Sheâd been drunk. Sheâd got unlucky. Whatever blood was left on the pavement had been hosed away before the first birthday party arrived. The broken phone went into a black bin liner with the rest of the rubbish, and by ten the neon was buzzing again, the fryers were coughing grease into the air, and the arcade machines were shrieking over each other like nothing bad had ever happened in the back parking lot.
Only the staff knew how to move around the lie. Tasha now completely avoided whatever station she was on unless Gareth made it impossible: prize counter, front desk, shoe rental, arcade, the break room. Especially the break room. JJ kept looking at the back doors like he expected the night before to come stumbling in again, wet and bleeding under the security light. Ryan watched Cook with the kind of hatred people stopped bothering to hide once fear had worn the politeness off. Gareth paced by the lanes, scratching at his beard, muttering about CCTV, statements, and how if anyone brought police round Kingpinâs, heâd personally shove them headfirst into the ball return.
She behaved like none of it had happened. That was worse. She brought Cook a bacon roll wrapped in a napkin because heâd forgotten breakfast. Fixed his collar while he was talking to a customer. Stole a chip off his plate, then fed him one back with a smile so sweet it made his stomach turn over. When he yawned, she asked if heâd slept. When he said he was fine, she touched the inside of his wrist like she could take his pulse by instinct now, like his body had become a thing she was responsible for. Cook let her. He told himself it was easier that way. Told himself the girl outside had been walking and crying by the time someone called for help. Told himself there was a difference between hurt and dead, between jealousy and danger, between a one-off and a pattern. It was amazing how many lines a person could draw when he was desperate enough not to see the picture. Ryan cornered him by the staff lockers before lunch. âYou need to stop acting like this is normal.â
Cook shoved his jacket into his locker. âMorning to you too, mate.â
Ryanâs jaw flexed. âThat girl ended up in hospital.â
Cook slammed the locker shut hard enough to rattle the row. âAnd what, you reckon I did it?â
âI reckon you know more than youâre saying.â
Cook laughed, ugly and short, because the alternative was admitting Ryan had stepped too close to the truth. âYouâve been watching too much telly.â
Ryan looked past him, toward the lanes where she was leaning over a ticket machine with a screwdriver in one hand, hair falling forward as she worked. She glanced up at the exact second Cook looked at her, like his attention had tugged a string through the room. Her face lit up. Ryan saw it happen and tensed. âShe wasnât like this."
Cookâs smile faded.
Ryan looked back at him. âYou know that, right?â
Cook shouldered past him. âMaybe you just didnât know her that well.â
The words came out meaner than they needed to. That was how Cook knew they had struck a nerve. It got worse in ways that were small enough to excuse until there were too many of them. She knew his shifts before he told her. Waited outside his flat in the rain with her hood up and his hoodie under her coat, smiling like she hadnât been standing there for forty minutes. Texted him so often his phone never settled. Texts like: where are you? are you busy? did i do something? cook? cook answer me. Then, when he finally did, the relief came back so fast it was embarrassing, all hearts and apologies and i just missed you, like heâd been gone for days instead of ignoring her through half a cigarette. She wore his clothes more than her own now. His jacket. His hoodies. A red Kingpinâs polo heâd meant to bin because the collar was stretched. After the drawer, she didnât even bother pretending the little thefts were accidental anymore. When Cook noticed his lighter missing again, she pulled it from her pocket with a guilty smile and said she liked having it because it smelled like him.
âThat is mental,â he told her.
âI know.â
âYou know, and you still do it?â
Her smile twitched, nervous and wanting. âDo you want me to stop?â
He should have said yes. Instead, he took the lighter from her hand, flicked it open, watched the flame jump up between them. âDepends what I get for being nice about it.â
She kissed him before he had to ask. That was the problem. He stopped having to ask. At first, he made it a joke because jokes were easier to live with than commands. Say youâre mine. Donât look at him. Tell Ryan to fuck off. Come here. Sit there. Kiss me like you mean it. He said them with a grin, with his hand around a cigarette, with his shoulder propped against a wall, like he was only winding her up, like Cook had ever known when to stop winding someone up. She obeyed too quickly. If Ryan came near the desk, she went silent and looked to Cook first. If a customer flirted with him, she slid beside him and poseessively tucked herself under his arm before he could decide whether he wanted the attention. If Cook clicked his fingers just to be a prick, she shot him a look that should have been annoyed and came anyway, cheeks hot, mouth pressed into a line as if some real, stubborn part of her knew she ought to tell him to fuck off and could not force her mouth to form the words.
The first time he told her to say it properly, they were in his flat with rain tapping hard against the window and takeaway boxes going cold on the floor. Sheâd let herself in with the spare key heâd stupidly given her and waited with the food while Cook went to the local off-licence for cigarettes, took the long way back because being missed had started to feel better than it should, and didnât answer for twenty-six minutes. Twenty-six. She had counted them. Every single one. She said it like an accusation, then cried because she hated sounding like that, then apologized because apologizing had become another thing she gave him too easily. Sheâd tried texting first. Then calling. His phone had buzzed on the mattress beside the takeaway boxes, lighting up with her name over and over while Cook stayed gone, which somehow made it worse. He hadnât missed her messages. Heâd left himself unreachable.
âSomethingâs wrong with me,â she said, voice shaking in a way that took the heat out of the room. âI can feel myself doing it, and I still canât stop.â
Cook sat on the edge of the mattress and watched her come apart in front of him, barefoot in one of his old Man United jerseys, his phone still clutched in her hand like evidence. The girl from before was there again, fighting through the devotion with panic in her mouth and shame all over her face. She looked at him like he had the answer. Like he was the only person who could put her back together.
âTell me what to do,â she whispered.
Cook went cold. For once, he understood the line in front of him. Not guessed. Not felt it somewhere vague and inconvenient. Understood. She was asking because the curse had taught her to, because his want had taken something private inside her and rewired it toward him. He could have said, Go home. He could have said, Call someone. He could have told her to run from him and keep running until whatever rotten thing lived in the willow lost his scent. Instead, Cook held out his hand. âCome here.â
She came. Of course she came. Her knees sank into the mattress on either side of his hips as she climbed into his lap, the washed-out red jersey riding up high enough to show the crotch of the cheap boxers sheâd grabbed from his drawer. He watched her the whole wayâthe way her eyes stayed fixed on him, the way her breath came shallow, the way her bandaged hand caught his shoulder and left a faint red mark against the cotton when she braced herself.
âHowâs the hand?â he asked, voice neutral.
She looked down at it, flexed her fingers. âStill hurts.â
âGood.â He reached out and took her wrist, turning her palm up, studying the blood that had bloomed through the gauze. âYouâre gonna have a scar.â
âI know.â She didnât pull away. Her fingers curled around his, and the touch was hot, almost feverish. âCook, Iââ
âShut up.â
He pulled her closer, mouth finding hers before she could finish whatever honest thing was trying to crawl out of her throat. She tasted like rain and the cheap cherry lip balm she nicked from Boots. Her hands came up to his face, her injured one fisting in his hair, and the pressure was just sharp enough to hurt. Good girl. He bit her bottom lip, hard enough to taste copper, and she gasped into his mouth. âYou been thinking about this all night?â he asked, pulling back just enough to see her face. âComing here, sitting in my room, pacingâbeen thinking about what Iâd do to you?â
She nodded, a jerky motion, her pupils blown so wide her irises were just thin colored rings.
âYeah,â he said, sliding his hand down her throat, feeling the flutter of her pulse under his thumb. âThatâs your problem, innit? You canât stop thinking about it. Canât stop wanting it. Even when you donât know why.â
Her breath hitched. Her hand tightened in his hair. And for a secondâjust a secondâsomething flickered across her face. Something confused. Scared. The real her, trying to break through once again. He kissed her again before she could get there. Hard. Deep. Tongue sliding against hers, tasting the rain and the salt and the wrongness. He pushed her back until she was flat on the mattress, following her down, his weight pressing her into the sheets. Her legs fell open without him asking. Like a reflex. Like sheâd been trained.
âYou remember what I told you after the clinic?â he asked, mouth against her jaw, teeth scraping her pulse point. âWhen you sat there all quiet in that waiting room wearing my jacket, acting like you werenât squeezing my hand every time the nurse said implant?â
Her hips bucked up, searching for friction he didnât give her.
âY-yeah.â Her voice was wrecked, breathy, barely there.
Cook smiled against her skin. âWhatâd I say?â
Her fingers tightened in his shirt, shame and want moving through her at the same time. âYou saidâŠâ She swallowed, eyes squeezing shut. âYou said now you didnât have to be careful with me.â
âThatâs not all I said.â
She made a small, desperate sound when he pulled back just enough to make her look at him.
âYou said youâd fuck me full,â she whispered. âEvery time. Whether I wanted it or not.â
âThatâs right.â He sat up, pulling her with him, and her jersey came off over her head in one rough motion. The boxers followed, tossed onto the pile of takeaway boxes. She was naked now, sitting on his mattress, the streetlight cutting a stripe across her ribs, her hair tangled, her lips swollen. âAnd you let me. Because you donât say no to me.â
She didnât argue. Her eyes dropped to his lap, to the visible line of his hard-on through his joggers, and her tongue wet her bottom lip. She was already reaching for him, fingers hooking into the waistband, pulling the fabric down over his hips. His cock sprang free, hard and flushed, the tip weeping pre-come. She wrapped her hand around himâthe bandaged oneâand the sight of that white gauze against his skin made his stomach tighten. Sheâd bled for him. Sheâd break glass for him. Sheâd do anything.
âGood girl,â he breathed, and the words tasted like a confession. He grabbed her hair, pulling her head back, making her look up at him as she started to stroke. Slow at first. Experimental. Her thumb dragging over the head, smearing the slick bead of pre-come down his shaft. Her grip was too dry. Not tight enough.
âSpit on it,â he said.
She did. Her mouth opened, a thick glob of saliva landing on the head, and her hand spread it down his shaft, slick now, the sound of it wet and obscene in the quiet room.
âFaster.â
Her hand moved faster, her grip tightening, the wet slap of her palm against his cock filling the space between rain-gusts. He let his head fall back, eyes half-closing, and watched her from under his lashes. She was staring at where her hand worked him, focused, hungry, her lips parted, her breath coming in soft, desperate sounds that didnât quite form words.
âLook at you,â he said, voice low. âLook at you jerking me off like youâve been doing it your whole life. Like you were made for it.â He reached down and caught her wrist, stopping her. âYou like being my little hand-job machine?â
âYes.â No hesitation. Her eyes were wet, but he couldnât tell if it was tears or rain.
âYeah, you do.â He released her wrist and grabbed her chin, tilting her face up, forcing her to meet his eyes. âOpen.â
Her mouth fell open and he spat into it, watching her throat work as she swallowed. The wet shine on her lips, the way she looked at him like he was the only thing in the roomâit made his cock throb, and the feeling was so clean and so wrong that he almost laughed.
âThatâs it,â he said. âYouâre my personal littleâdâyou know what I called you in my head? Before all this?â
She shook her head.
âMy little cocksleeve. Thatâs what I thought every time you walked past the prize counter. Every time I watched you clock out. Every time you smiled at someone else.â His grip on her chin tightened until she winced. âYou were always gonna end up here. Just took the long way.â
He pulled her up, positioning her straddling his lap, his cock pressed against her stomach, leaving a wet smear against her skin. Her knees bracketed his hips and she was already sinking, grinding down, trying to find the angle, and he caught her by the hips and held her still.
âNot yet,â he said. âYou gotta earn it.â
He laid his palm flat against her cheek, not hard, just present. She leaned into it, and the way she pressed her face into his hand, like a cat asking to be pet, made something shift in his chest. He let it settle. Then he slapped her. Not hard enough to knock her over. Hard enough to make her gasp, her head snapping to the side, a lightly bruised bloom spreading across her cheek. Her eyes went wide, and for a second he thought heâd broken herâbroken the spell, made the real her surface again. But she turned back to him, looked at him, and her pupils were still blown, her lips still parted, and she said, âAgain.â
His blood sang. He slapped her again, the other cheek this time, and her body jolted, her nails digging into his shoulders. She didnât pull back. She rolled her hips against his, the wet heat of her cunt dragging across the underside of his cock, and he groaned despite himself.
âYouâre such a desperate little slag,â he said, fitting his hand around her throat. Not squeezing. Just holding. Letting her feel the weight of it. âYou know that? For so long you didnât want me, and now look at you. Canât get enough. Canât stop shaking on my cock.â
âPlease,â she breathed, and the word broke on its way out. âPlease, I needââ
âI know what you need.â He lined himself up, the head of his cock pressing against her entrance, slick with her wetness and spit. He held there. One inch. Just the tip. And watched her face as she tried to take more, her hips twitching, her breath coming in ragged, punched-out sounds. âRide me. Show me how much you want it.â
She sank down. Her cunt gripping him, tight and wet, and burning hot. The sound she made when she was fully seated was a low, wrecked moan that vibrated through her chest into his. He grabbed her hips and let her set the pace, and she started movingâa grinding, circular motion that pushed him deeper, her body learning the rhythm, her hands braced on his shoulders.
âFuck,â he hissed, his head dropping back against the wall. âFuck, thatâs it. Just like that.â
She found a rhythm, her hips rolling, grinding, her thighs working to keep her up, her breath coming in time with the motion. She watched himâher eyes never leaving his faceâand the intensity in her gaze, the way she was looking at him like he was oxygen, like sheâd die if she stoppedâit was everything heâd ever wanted. Everything heâd stolen.
âYou feel that?â he asked, his hands sliding down to grip her ass, his nails digging into the soft flesh. âFeel how deep I am? How full you are?â
She nodded her head vigorously, her mouth hanging open.
âThatâs where I belong. Inside you. Filling you up.â He reached up and grabbed a fistful of her hair, yanking her head back. âAnd youâre gonna take it. Youâre gonna take every drop, and youâre gonna thank me for it.â
Her hips stuttered, her rhythm breaking as a shudder ran through her. âCookââ
âShut up and ride me.â He pulled her down onto him harder, meeting her grind with a thrust of his own, and the air punched out of her lungs. âYou donât get to talk. You donât get to think. You just get to be my good little cocksleeve, taking what I give you. You understand?â
She nodded again, her teeth catching her bottom lip, her rhythm finding its way back. He loosened his grip on her hair and let his hands fall to her tits, rolling her nipples between his fingers, watching her arch into the touch.
âSuch pretty tits,â he said, the words half-buried in a groan. âWish I could see you like this every day. Wake up to you bouncing on my cock, go to sleep with my come still dripping out of you. Would you like that?â
âYes.â The word was barely a whisper, cracked and desperate. Her hips were speeding up, her grip on his shoulders tightening, her breath coming in pathetic little gasps. She was closeâhe could feel it in the way her cunt pulsed around him, the way her rhythm went sloppy.
âYou gonna come on my cock?â he asked, his voice dropping, rough and quiet. âGonna soak me? Make a mess?â
She whimperedâan actual whimperâand he felt the first flutter of her orgasm ripple through her, her body tensing, her cunt clenching around him like a fist. âThatâs it. Thatâs my good fucking girl. Come on me. Come on my cock, show me what youâve got.â
She came with a broken cry, her head falling forward, her body shaking, her hips grinding through the aftershocks. He watched herâwatched the way her mouth went slack, the way her thighs trembled, the way she kept moving even after sheâd come, like she couldnât stop, like sheâd keep riding him until she passed out if he told her to. He grabbed her hips, stilling her, and she slumped against him, her forehead pressing into his shoulder, her breath hot and ragged against his skin. He held her there for a moment, feeling the aftershocks ripple through her. Then he pulled out, pushing her down onto her back as he rose to his knees so he could kneel over her, stroking himself, watching her lie there spent and open.
"I'm gonna come on your face. And you're gonna thank me. Every. Single. Drop." She nodded, lips parted, waiting. He shuffled closer, aimed, and the first rope hits her cheek, hot and thick. "Thank you." Second rope across her mouth. "Thank you." Third across her chin, dripping down her neck. "Thank you." He stroked the last few drops onto her tongue, and she closed her lips around the head, sucking him clean, then pulled off and said, "Thank you, Cook." He smeared come across her face with his palm, spread it into her skin like lotion. "Good girl. Now don't wipe it off. I want to see it dry on your face. I want you to feel it crack when you smile." She didn't move. Just laid there, his come drying on her skin, her eyes fixed on him like he hung the moon.
He kissed her, gently this time, and the tenderness tasted like poison. He didnât care. He crawled out of bed then, his legs unsteady, and walked to the bathroom, catching his reflection in the mirrorâhair a mess, lips red, eyes dark. He looked like someone whoâd gotten everything he wanted. He grabbed a towel and walked back to find her still on the mattress, curled on her side, her hand resting between her thighs. She was staring at the wall, and he couldnât see her face, but he could see the way her shoulders rose and fell, slow and steady. Not crying. JustâŠbreathing. He tossed the towel at her feet. âClean up,â he said, and this time the words were flat.
She sat up slowly, reaching for the towel, and he watched her wipe his come from her thighs but not her face just like he told her to, slow and mechanical, like she was doing it in her sleep. The bandage on her hand was stained a deeper red, the wound bleeding again. She didnât seem to notice. Or care. He climbed back onto the mattress beside her, taking the towel from her hands and tossing it to the floor. He pulled her close, her back to his chest, his arm locking around her waist, and pressed his face into her hair. She smelled like rain, sweat, and him.
âWhereâs your head at?â he asked, and the question came out before he could stop it.
She was quiet for a long moment. Then: âHere.â
He tightened his grip. âGood.â
He didnât ask again. He closed his eyes and let the lie seal over him, thick enough to keep the truth from getting air. She was his now. That was all that mattered. She fell asleep after with her cheek pressed to his chest, one hand twisted in the fabric of his shirt like she was afraid he might vanish if she let go. Cook stayed awake longer than he wanted to admit, staring at the ceiling, listening to the quiet flat around them: the hum of the fridge, the drip of rain from the gutter outside, the slow drag of her breathing against his skin.
Then a phone buzzed where it had slipped beneath the bed. Not his. Hers. The cracked screen lit the floor in brief, cold flashes. Ryanâs name appeared across it. Cook didnât move at first. He told himself not to. Told himself only jealous little freaks checked phones. And he was many things, obviously, but he was not that pathetic. Then it buzzed again, and the excuse arrived clean and useful: he needed to know if Ryan was a trigger. Needed to know what had set her off. Needed to know if Ryan was a threat. He reached down carefully and picked it up. The phone needed her thumbprint. For a moment, Cook stared at her sleeping hand where it rested against his shirt. Then he lifted it. Her thumb opened the screen. Of course it did. Everything opened for him now. The messages were older, buried under weeks of unanswered texts from Ryan that got angrier and more worried the longer she ignored him. Cook scrolled past are you okay? and did he do something? and you need to talk to me until he found the ones from before the car, before the willow, before she had looked at him like he was the centre of the room. missed you after you left. you still got my hoodie?. donât tell cook, heâll be weird about it. heâs already weird about everything. you coming round later? maybe. depends if you behave.
Cookâs hand tightened around the phone. There were no declarations. No grand romance. Nothing he could point at and call betrayal because there had been nothing to betray yet. That made it worse. Casual was worse. Easy was worse. The thought of her choosing Ryan without magic, without pressure, without a broken twig and a stupid fucking wish in a rain-smeared car, put something hot and black behind Cookâs ribs. He looked down at her asleep against him and for the first time, he hated the version of her the wish had buried. Not because she had been taken. Not because she had been changed. Because before she was changed, she had wanted someone else and laughed about him in the same breath.
By the next shift, Cook had started turning that into something he could use. She had lied. She had pretended. She had acted too good for him while going round to Ryanâs like that meant nothing. The more he thought it, the easier it became to breathe. If the old her had been cruel, then maybe the wish had not ruined anything worth saving. Maybe it had only stripped away all the bullshit and given him the version honest enough to stay. Tasha ruined that by seeing him too obviously. She found him near the back corridor while he was stealing five minutes he hadn't earned, one shoulder against the wall, cigarette unlit between his fingers because Gareth had started threatening to check the cameras. Her eyeliner looked smudged, and there were shadows under her eyes that hadn't been there before the party.
âWe need to talk,â she said.
Cook groaned. âChrist, everyoneâs desperate for a chat lately.â
âIâm not joking.â
âCan tell. Whole vibeâs fucking tragic.â
Tasha stepped closer, keeping her voice low. âSomething is wrong with her.â
Cook looked away. âSheâs having a rough time.â
âShe threatened to carve my face open.â
âPeople say things when theyâre pissed.â
âShe put that girl in hospital.â
âYou donât know that.â
Tasha stared at him. âYou keep acting scared when people are watching, but I saw your face when she snapped at Ryan. You liked it.â
Cookâs mouth opened and nothing decent came out. No joke arrived fast enough. No insult covered the little flicker in his chest when she said it.
Tasha nodded once, like that told her everything. âMeet me after shift. My car. Iâm not doing this in here.â
âBit dramatic, that.â
âCook.â
The way she said his name was not like the curse. Not worshipful. Not desperate. Just tired and worried but also real. It landed somewhere he hadn't meant to keep open.
He looked at her properly then. âWhy do you care?â
Tashaâs face tightened. For a second, she looked furious with herself. âBecause maybe Iâm stupid enough to like you, okay?â
Cook felt the pleasure of it before he could stop himself. Normal. That was the thing. Tasha saying it with her jaw clenched and her eyes annoyed was normal. No wish. No shaking hands. No broken glass. Just a girl looking at him and choosing the embarrassment of admitting she cared. He should have hated himself for enjoying it. He didnât. After close, he told her he was taking rubbish out and slipped through the back instead. Tashaâs car sat in the far corner of the lot where Kingpinâs neon painted the wet bonnet red and gold. The rain had stopped, but the air was still damp, cold enough that the windows had started to mist at the edges. Cook could see Tashaâs silhouette behind the wheel before he reached the passenger side, both hands fixed at ten and two like she was scared sheâd change her mind if she let go.
He slid into the car. âThis better be good. Iâve got a very demanding friend waiting whoâll start chewing through plaster if Iâm gone too long.â
Tasha didnât laugh. She kept staring through the windscreen. The vanilla air freshener hanging from the mirror swung slightly when Cook shut the door, fake-sweet over rain-damp fabric and the faint stale smell of old chips and flavored vape smoke. Her knuckles were tight around the wheel.
âI talked to her before all this,â she said.
Cookâs grin thinned. âOkay? Congrats.â
âProperly. At work. At parties. When you werenât around.â
âMad concept, people talking when Iâm not there.â
âShe said you were fun,â Tasha went on, careful enough that it already felt like cruelty. âBut too much.â
Cook looked out at the empty lot. âYeah, well, I am a lot. Thatâs famously the charm.â
âShe said you were a friend.â
The word hit harder than it should have. Friend was nothing. Friend was easy. Friend was the sort of thing he called everyone because names took effort and feelings were embarrassing. From her mouth, through Tasha, it felt like a door closing.
Cook scratched at the side of his jaw. âThat all?â
Tasha swallowed. âShe said you werenât someone sheâd ever go for.â
The car seemed to shrink around him. Somewhere across the lot, a loose sign creaked in the wind, and Kingpinâs apostrophe buzzed like a trapped insect. âShe said you were more like an annoying brother than anything else.â
Cook froze. That was the version with no magic in it. No hidden desire. No fear of wanting him. No sweet little crush buried under sarcasm and bad timing. She had looked at him and seen noise. Trouble. A laugh. A friend. Something too familiar to want and too exhausting to touch. The wish hadn't revealed anything. It had replaced her entirely. Tasha turned toward him, eyes shining with fear and pity, which was a combination Cook wanted to smash out of the air. âIâm sorry.â
âWhy? Because you fancy me now? Bit fucking convenient.â
Her face flinched. âDonât be a prick.â
He laughed under his breath, but there was no life in it. âBit late for that.â
âI mean it, Cook. Whateverâs happening, it isnât love. She wasnât secretly waiting for you. She wasnât playing hard to get. She was herself, and now she isnât.â The truth sat between them in the fogged-up car, plain and brutal. Cook could feel it pressing against his teeth. He could also feel the other thing, the nasty little satisfaction that Tasha had said she liked him, that another girl had looked at him without the curse and wanted him anyway. For half a second, even with the truth bleeding through him, he let himself enjoy that.
Then the driverâs side window exploded inward. Glass burst across Tashaâs lap and Cookâs knees in a freezing spray. Tasha screamed. Cook jerked back hard enough to hit the passenger door, one arm coming up over his face as cold air and broken safety glass filled the car. She was already there. No warning. No slow silhouette appearing through the misted glass. Just her hand through the broken frame, fingers clamping hard in Tashaâs hair, yanking her sideways with a force that smashed her shoulder into the door.
âFuck!â Cook shouted, lunging across the gearstick.
Tasha clawed at the seatbelt, panicked, half-trapped, blood striping down from a cut near her temple where the glass had caught her. âCook!â
The first impact drove her face into the steering wheel. The horn blared, one long, ugly scream across the empty lot. Cook grabbed at the sleeve of his own jacket hanging from her shoulders, but she was braced outside the broken window with both feet planted, expression emptied down to one terrible point of focus. Tashaâs head. The wheel beneath it. The friend who had told him the truth and admitted she wanted him in the same breath. Again. The horn punched the night open. Tashaâs cry broke into something wet and stunned. Her mouth hit the wheel wrong, teeth clicking hard enough for Cook to hear through the blare, and red smeared across the grey plastic where her cheek dragged sideways. She tried to twist away, but the seatbelt had locked tight across her chest, pinning her in place while panic made her hands useless.
âStop!â Cook yelled, dragging at her. âStop, fucking stop!â
She looked at him then, just for a second, and the calm in her face was worse than rage. âShe wanted you.â Tasha made a small sound, a breath trying to become a word. The next blow cut it off. Her face struck the wheel again with a thick, awful crack that made Cookâs stomach drop. The horn stuttered under the impact, screaming, choking, screaming again. Blood spotted the windscreen from the inside in a fine red spray. Tashaâs hands flew up too late, fingers scraping over the dashboard, nails catching against the plastic before slipping. Cook shoved the passenger door open so hard it bounced off the car beside them. He stumbled out, glass crunching under his shoes, then rounded the front of the car and grabbed her around the waist from behind. She fought him like she didnât know him. Her elbow cracked into his ribs. One heel scraped down his shin. Her hands stayed locked in Tashaâs hair, trying to pull her forward again even as Cook hauled her back from the window.
âShe wanted you,â she said again, voice rising now, not calm anymore, breaking into something wild and wounded. âYou lied to me! Why would you lie to me?!â
âI didnât,â Cook gasped, dragging her away from the door. âI didnât fucking do anything.â
The lie came out on instinct, which told him everything. Tasha sagged against the wheel. The horn kept blaring beneath her, muffled by the weight of her body, one long animal sound trapped under the bonnet. Her face had turned toward them at an angle that looked wrong in the red-and-gold wash of the sign. One eye was half-open. Her lips moved, but all that came out was a wet little breath that fogged the glass in front of her. Cook got one arm around her middle and wrenched her back. This time, her fingers came away full of Tashaâs hair. For one horrible heartbeat, she stared at it in her hand. Then Tasha twitched. Small. Barely anything. Her fingers curled against the seat, searching for the belt, the door, a way out, anything. The sight of it snapped the curse back into motion. She surged forward so violently Cook nearly lost his grip. Her hand shot through the broken window again, palm slamming against the back of Tashaâs head, and before Cook could pull her off, she shoved down hard.
Tashaâs face crushed into the centre of the wheel. The horn screamed clean this time. Cook heard cartilage give. Heard the blunt, final sound of bone meeting plastic with nowhere left to go. Blood ran down the steering column and dripped onto Tashaâs jeans in heavy spots. Her body jerked once, shoulders locking, then slackened all at once. The horn stopped. The silence after was so sudden Cook could hear the tick of cooling metal, the buzz of Kingpinâs neon, the thin patter of rain starting up again on the roof. Tashaâs hand slid from the wheel and fell limp beside the seat. She went loose in his grip. The change came fast enough to make him dizzy. One second she was all force, all violence, all jealous purpose. The next, she was staring through the shattered window at Tashaâs body with the devotion draining out of her face, leaving only terror.
âWhat did I do?â she whispered.
Then she looked past him. At Tasha. Whatever had been holding her together split all at once. Her breath hitched, stopped, then came back wrong, too fast and too loud. She staggered toward the car like she meant to help, then recoiled before she got there, staring at her own hands as if theyâd been put on her body by someone else.
âNo,â she said. âNo, no, no. Cook, what did I do?â
Cook caught her by the arms before she could back into the broken glass. He could feel every tremor ripping through her now, violent enough to shake into his palms.
âCook?â Her voice climbed, thin and panicked. âWhy am I here? Why is there blood on me? Did Iââ She choked on the rest, eyes snapping back to Tasha. âIs she dead?â
The chance came back to him with the cruelty of a joke. He could tell her. He could say, I did this. I made a wish. I broke you because I couldnât stand wanting someone who didnât want me back. He could give her the truth even if it came too late for Tasha, too late for the girl outside Kingpinâs, too late for whatever decent version of himself might have existed before the willow snapped in his fist. Instead, he looked past her to the car park, the cameras mounted near the back entrance, the broken window, Tasha not moving in the driverâs seat. Self-preservation arrived before grief, before guilt, before anything that shouldâve made him human. Cook released one of her arms and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, leaving a smear near his knuckles that wasnât all his.
âDid anyone see you?â he asked.
She stared at him like heâd spoken another language.
âListen to me.â His voice came out harsh, urgent. âDid anyone see you come out here?â
âI donât know.â She shook her head hard, tears spilling now, breath breaking into ugly little sobs. âI donât know, I donât know, I donât remember. Cook, please, I donât remember doing that.â
âFuck.â
He checked the lot, the back door, the red blink of the camera, trying to remember which angle Gareth had said was broken because he refused to pay for a new one. His thoughts moved horribly fast. Cameras. Police. Ryan. Gareth. The girl in hospital. Tasha in the car. His fingerprints on the passenger door. Her wearing his jacket. She was unraveling beside him, hands hovering in front of her face, fingers opening and closing like she didnât understand what they were capable of. She wiped at the red on her skin and only smeared it worse, a broken sound tearing out of her throat when she saw it spread.
âI didnât mean to,â she said. âI didnât mean to, I swear I didnât. I didnât mean to scare you.â
Cook looked back at her. That was when it changed. Her hysteria didnât vanish so much as bend toward him, terror dragging itself into devotion because the curse knew where to put all that pain. Her eyes found his and stayed there. Her hands dropped from the red on her fingers to his shirt, gripping tight, pleading with him to make the world smaller.
âTasha confused you,â she said, voice shaking. âI saw her. I saw how she looked at you. I fixed it. Iâm sorry. I didnât mean to scare you.â
Cook shouldâve pushed her away. He pulled her behind the bins instead, out of the cameraâs cleanest line. He did call eventually. Not straight away. Not before heâd wiped what he could from the passenger handle with the inside of his sleeve. Not before heâd taken his jacket off her shoulders and shoved it behind the bins. Not before heâd told her to go to his flat by the back way and wait there, no texts, no calls, no stopping for anyone. When he finally stumbled into Kingpinâs shouting for Gareth to call an ambulance, his voice sounded convincing enough that everyone ran. By then, Cook had already learned something about himself he could never unlearn. His first instinct had been to live with it.
The One Wish Willow box was still under the passenger seat of his car because Cook had never been good at throwing away evidence of his own stupidity. He found it later with shaking hands, after the ambulance lights had gone, after Garethâs voice had turned hoarse from shouting, after Ryan had looked at him across Kingpinâs like he finally understood Cook was worse than a coward. The box had slid half under the seat rail, red-and-cream cardboard damp along one corner from whatever had leaked down there, the cartoon faces still grinning up at him like they knew the punchline. Cook sat in the driverâs seat with the door open, one foot on the wet tarmac, the heater blowing stale air against his knees. His hands smelled faintly metallic no matter how many times heâd wiped them on his jeans. The car park was mostly empty now, Kingpinâs neon buzzing overhead, gold and red dragging itself across the puddles like the place was trying to make even murder look tacky. He turned the box over. The hotline number waited on the back in small printed text, tucked beneath the instructions and all the cheery little promises the packaging had no business making anymore.
NEED HELP? CALL TODAY! 1-323-747-7118.
Cook laughed once. It came out wrong. He dialed before he could think too hard about it. The line rang twice, clicked, and then a bright recorded voice filled the car. âThank you for contacting One Wish Willow support. For wish dissatisfaction, press one. For unintended romantic escalation, press two. For injury, pursuit, fixation, or violent attachment, press three. If your wish has resulted in death, please remain on the line.â
Cook stared through the windscreen. âYouâve got to be fucking joking.â
A soft beep sounded. âYour call may be recorded for training and liability purposes. One Wish Willow is not responsible for unclear phrasing, malicious intent, emotional negligence, activation while intoxicated, activation during heartbreak, humiliation, rejection, social embarrassment, romantic jealousy, or poor judgment.â
Cook shut his eyes. âYeah. Brilliant. Very helpful.â
The hold music started. Tinny. Cheerful. Some little nursery-rhyme version of a pop song he couldnât place, plinking away while Tashaâs head hitting the wheel replayed behind his eyes. Cook gripped the phone so hard his knuckles hurt. The line clicked again. A man came on, voice flat enough to sound like heâd been saying the same thing all day and hated every person who made him say it twice. âOne Wish Willow support. Name and nature of your wish-related concern?â
Cook stared at the grinning cartoon branch. âYou lot are real?â
A pause. âYes.â
âRight. Okay. Yeah. Course you are.â
âName?â
âCook.â
âFirst name, surname, or nickname?â
âJust Cook.â
The man sighed softly. âFine. Nature of concern?â
Cook rubbed a hand over his mouth. âHypothetically, if someone wished for a girl to fancy him and now sheâs gone a bit murderyââ
âWe donât process hypotheticals after activation.â
Cook looked up at the rain-specked windscreen. âFine. Not hypothetically.â
âThank you. Was the willow broken cleanly or splintered?â
âI donât fucking know. It was dark, I was pissed off, and I was having a moment.â
Paper shifted on the other end of the line. âWas there blood at activation?â
âNo.â
âWitnesses?â
âNo.â
âWas the desired party named clearly in the wish?â
Cookâs throat tightened. The car seemed smaller suddenly, the box too bright in his lap.
âClear enough.â
âWas the wording romantic, sexual, possessive, punitive, corrective, or retaliatory?â
Cook blinked. âWhat?â
âClosest category.â
âAll of them,â he muttered.
Another pause.
âNot recommended,â the man said.
âYeah, well, weâre a bit past recommended, arenât we?â
âDescribe the escalation.â
Cook leaned his head back against the seat. The fabric was cold against his skull. âSheâs jealous.â
âExpected.â
âSheâs clingy.â
âExpected.â
âShe watches me sleep.â
âWithin range.â
Cookâs laugh scraped out of him. âWithin range. Brilliant.â
âHas the desired party displayed violence toward herself or others?â
Cook saw Tashaâs fingers slipping off the wheel. Saw the horn blaring under the weight of her body. Saw the girl in the car park folded against the bricks, mouth red, phone smashed near the bins. âYeah."
âSeverity?â
Cook swallowed. âBad.â
âI need more specific than bad.â
âHow violent is violent?â
âRecently?â
He let his eyes close.
âHospital,â he said. âThen worse.â
The operator went quiet. For the first time, he sounded less bored. âIs the desired party currently with you?â
âNo.â
âDo you know where she is?â
âMy flat.â
âDid you instruct her to go there?â
Cookâs jaw tightened. âYeah.â
âHas she disobeyed direct instructions since activation?â
He thought about it. No texts. No calls. No stopping for anyone. His stomach turned. âNo.â
âThen the bond is stable.â
âStable?â Cook snapped. âShe justââ He stopped himself, glancing toward Kingpinâs like the walls could still hear him. âShe nearly killed someone.â
âNearly?â
Cook said nothing.
The man exhaled. âUnderstood.â
âCan you fix it?â
âThat depends on what you mean by fix.â
Cook leaned forward, elbows on his knees, the box creasing slightly under his grip. âCan you make her, likeâŠless murdery but still into me?â
The silence on the line was worse than judgment. âAlterations after activation are not supported.â
Cook stared at the rubber floor mat. There was a tiny dark flake caught in the rubber grooves. Blood or mud. He couldnât tell anymore.
âSo what, thatâs it?â he asked. âSheâs just like this?â
âThe wish persists until the object of devotion dies.â
Cookâs hand went cold around the phone. For one stupid, shameful moment, he thought of her. Her body under the same ugly security light. Her blood on the same wet tarmac. A clean ending that required him to lose the thing he had wanted badly enough to ruin. Then the operator clarified.
âTo be clear, you are the object of devotion.â
Cook stopped breathing.
âThe wish ends when you die.â
The heater hummed. Rain ticked lightly against the roof. Somewhere upstairs, in his flat, she was waiting because he had told her to. Because she did what he said now. Because he had made her into someone who would.
Cook laughed once, quiet and empty. âSo Iâve got to die?â
âThat is the termination condition.â
âAny alternatives?â
âNone that work.â
Cook lowered the phone from his ear and looked at the box in his lap. The little doodled faces on the front stared up at him, a man and a woman drawn in soft, stupid lines like this was still some novelty you bought for a laugh. Bright colors. Cheap promises. The sort of thing that belonged in a gift shop beside scented candles and mugs that said things like follow your dreams. Not under his hands. Not after Tashaâs skull had met the steering wheel. Not after the truth had finally crawled out from under every excuse heâd built and sat there in front of him, simple as. He thought of the girl from before all this. Not the one in his bed. The real one. Laughing at the counter because Ryan had said something stupid. Rolling her eyes at Cook because heâd made something filthy out of nothing. Sitting in his car, rain on the windows, telling him in every way except the actual words that he wasn't what she wanted. He thought of Tashaâs voice in the car. She wasnât secretly waiting for you. He knew then. Properly. With horrible clarity. He had stolen her. Not won. Not uncovered. Not seduced. Stolen.
The knowledge landed with no softness around it, no pretty little way to dress it up. The world gave him one simple equation: his death for her freedom. His life for her curse. One simple answer, sitting there in his hands, waiting for him to be the sort of person he had never once managed to be. Cook sat with that until his breathing steadied. Then he hung up.
For a while, Cook just sat there with the phone in his hand, listening to the dead line that wasn't a line anymore, only his own breathing and the heater coughing stale air into the car. The answer stayed where the man had left it. The wish ends when you die. Simple. Clear. Horrible. Cook looked at the box again. The cartoon faces smiled back at him from his lap, cheerful and stupid, and untouched by consequence. It had no blood on it. No shaking hands. No girl waiting upstairs with pieces of herself missing. No Tasha slumped against a steering wheel. Just bright colors and soft rounded letters, as if all of this was still a joke you could buy at a counter and give to someone for a laugh. His thumb pressed into the cardboard until it bent. For one second, he imagined doing it.
Not properly. Not with any plan. Just a flash of it, sudden and ugly: stepping into the road, swerving the car into a wall, taking a knife from the kitchen and making himself brave for once in his miserable fucking life. Ending it. Ending her. Giving her back whatever part of her he had stolen. The thought lasted long enough to make him feel sick. Then it passed. Not because he couldn't picture it. Because he could. Because, in the picture, she was free. And Cook wasn't there to see it. He deleted the call from his phone. Then the number. Then he checked it twice, because panic made him thorough in ways guilt never had. He wiped the box down with the hem of his shirt even though his fingerprints were everywhere by now, then shoved it into the glove compartment beneath old receipts, a cracked CD case, and a packet of Rizla with two papers left inside. The cartoon faces disappeared under rubbish. Cook shut the compartment. There. Gone. That was how people like him handled the truth. Put something over it and decided it was buried.
When he got back upstairs, the flat was quiet. Too quiet at first. The kind of quiet that made his skin prickle before he saw her. She was sitting on the edge of his bed in one of his shirts, knees drawn up, bare feet tucked under the mattress frame. Her hair was damp at the ends like she had tried to wash more than her hands. The bathroom light had been left on behind her, striping the hall in yellow. His towel lay abandoned on the floor, streaked faintly pink where she must have scrubbed at her skin until the worst of it came off. Not all of it. A thin crescent of blood still clung under one nail. Cook saw it before she curled her hands into the hem of his shirt. Her face lifted the second he came in.
âAre you angry?â she asked. Cook closed the door behind him. The lock clicked. He felt it in his teeth. He should have said yes. Should have said worse. Should have told her he was scared of her, scared of himself, scared that the only way to undo any of it required him to stop breathing. Should have told her about the box, the call, the man on the phone, the termination condition sitting in the glove compartment under receipts and dust. Instead, Cook crossed the room and touched her face. She went quiet instantly.
âThere you are,â he said, because the line still worked and he hated that it did.
Relief crossed her so fast it looked painful. âI didnât know where I was.â
âI know.â
âI saw her.â Her voice shook. âTasha, and then outside, and then glass, and thenââ She swallowed hard, staring at him like he could decide how much of the memory survived. âI hurt her.â
Cook kept his hand on her cheek. âYou were upset.â
âShe was bleeding.â
âYou were confused.â
âI hurt her, Cook.â
His thumb brushed her cheekbone once. âShe got in your head.â
The words changed the air between them. Her brow pulled in. âNo.â
âTasha got in your head,â he repeated, gentler this time, like he was reminding her of something sheâd forgotten. âShe was trying to make you doubt yourself.â
âI donât thinkââ
âThatâs the problem, isnât it?â Cook stepped closer, until her knees brushed his legs. âYou keep thinking thereâs some other you under all this. Some better version waiting to come back and tell you Iâm bad for you.â
Her mouth trembled. âThere is.â
The honesty of it cut through him so cleanly he almost stepped back. Almost. Instead, Cookâs hand slid from her cheek to the side of her neck, not holding tight, not yet. Just there. Present. Familiar. A reminder.
âNo,â he said. âThatâs what everyone else told you to be.â
She stared up at him.
âThis is you.â
Her breath caught.
âYou just finally stopped pretending.â
She shook her head once, small and frightened. âThatâs not true.â
âIsnât it?â Cook asked. âYou came back to the car.â
Something fractured behind her eyes. Cook saw it and pushed.
âYou remember that, yeah? The night it started. I was sitting there like a fucking idiot, and you came back. Couldâve gone home. Couldâve left me there. But you didnât.â
Her hands twisted in the hem of his shirt. âBecause I wanted you,â she said, but it sounded like someone had placed the words on her tongue and made her taste them.
Cookâs stomach turned. He smiled anyway. âThere you go.â
Her eyes filled. âCookâŠâ
âYou wanted me.â
She shook her head again, weaker this time. âI was scared.â
âYou wanted me,â he said, and now his voice had an edge under the gentleness, something he couldnât keep buried. âNot Ryan.â
The name cut through the fog. Her expression emptied. âRyan?â
Cookâs grip firmed before he meant it to, not enough to choke, enough to make her attention snap back to him. âYou remember him?â
âIâŠâ She blinked hard. âI donât know.â
âYou liked him.â
âMaybe.â
âMaybe?â
âI donât know,â she said, panic rushing back into her voice. âI donât know, Cook. I canât tell whatâs mine anymore.â
That shouldâve stopped him. It sat right there in front of him: the truth, plain as Tashaâs voice in the fogged-up car. She couldnât tell what belonged to her. He had done that. His wish had taken her wants and bent them around him until every thought came out wearing his name. Cook leaned down until their foreheads nearly touched.
âThen let me tell you.â
Her eyes searched his. His heart was going too fast, ugly living proof that he had chosen himself once already and was about to do it again.
âYou didnât want Ryan,â he said.
Her mouth parted.
âYou didnât want Tasha.â
A tear slipped down her cheek.
âYou wanted me.â
Her voice broke. âI wanted you.â
Cook closed his eyes briefly. It felt like winning. âSay it properly.â
âI wanted you,â she whispered. âI only wanted you.â
She was crying now, silently, like her body knew it had been made to lie and couldnât stop obeying the lie anyway. Cook wiped the tear away with his thumb. The tenderness of it was almost obscene.
âGood,â he said.
The word ruined her. Her shoulders sank, relief cutting through the panic, devotion closing over the wound he had made. She leaned into him like he had saved her from something, when all he had done was press his hands over her mouth until her own voice came out wrong.
âIâm sorry,â she said. âIâm sorry I scared you.â
Cook took in the bathroom light glowing behind her, the towel on the floor, the tiny red crescent under her nail, his shirt on her body, his name in her mouth. Then he thought of the operatorâs voice again. The wish ends when you die. His hand moved into her hair.
âIâm still here, arenât I?â
She nodded quickly.
âAnd youâre still here.â
âYes.â
âSo stop looking like that.â
She tried. That was the worst part. She actually tried. Swallowed it down, rearranged herself into something he could bear to look at without seeing the car park reflected back at him. Cook kissed her, not because it was the right thing, not because she needed comfort, but because the alternative was standing there with the truth between them, and Cook had never known what to do with truth except make it uglier. She kissed him back after a moment. Of course she did.
By morning, pretending had gotten easier than remembering. Cook woke with his arm still locked around her waist, her body tucked against his like sheâd fallen asleep mid-apology and never finished the sentence. For a few seconds, the flat was ordinary in the miserable way his flat was always ordinary: cold air near the window, stale smoke in the curtains, a mug on the floor with tea dried brown at the bottom. Then she shifted, and everything came back. Tashaâs car. The horn. The hotline. The wish ends when you die. Cook stared at the ceiling and didnât move.
Beside him, she made a small sound in her sleep and pressed closer, fingers curling against his shirt. The red under her nail was gone now. She mustâve scrubbed it out sometime in the night, or he had, or both of them had done enough cleaning that his head had folded the details into one ugly blur. His shirt had slipped at her shoulder, showing the edge of the bruise his mouth had left there, and the sight of it still gave him that same sick, satisfaction.
Mine, he thought.
Then, immediately after, because the universe was a sadistic little prick: Stolen.
She woke up with his name already in her mouth. âCook?â
He shut his eyes. There were a hundred things he couldâve said. He couldâve told her about the hotline. He couldâve told her the truth while morning made everything less dramatic and more damning. Instead, he rolled toward her and put a hand on her hip. âMorning.â
Her expression changed too quickly, nervousness bending toward him before it knew what else to be. âAre you still angry?â
âNo.â
âAre you lying?â
Cookâs mouth twitched. âObviously.â
She didnât smile. That was new. Or old. He couldnât tell anymore. Her eyes searched him like she was trying to read his answer before the curse finished deciding how she felt about it.
âI remember some of it,â she said.
Cookâs hand stalled.
âNot all,â she added quickly, like she was scared the memory itself would upset him. âJust bits. The car. Tasha crying. You pulling me back.â Her fingers curled into the sheet. âI remember asking what did I do.â
âYou were upset.â
âThatâs not an answer.â
âNo,â Cook said. It's the only one you're gonna get. âItâs the only one that matters.â
She turned away toward the curtains and the weak morning light leaking around the edges. For a moment, she looked like someone trapped in a room she didnât remember entering. Then Cook touched her face, and her attention came back to him too fast.
âYou need to stop picking at it,â he said. âYouâll only make yourself worse.â
âI hurt someone.â
âI already told you, Tasha got in your head.â
âSheâs dead, isnât she?â
The room went silent.
Cook felt the question land in his chest and stay there. He hadnât meant for her to know. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Heâd imagined keeping it vague, messy, something sheâd done but didnât have to name. Hospital. Accident. Bad night. Anything that left the final shape of it blurred.
âCook.â
His jaw worked.
âYeah,â he said.
The answer hollowed her out. No sobbing. No screaming. Not at first. Her fingers slipped from the sheet, her mouth parting around a sound that never made it out, and for the first time since the wish, Cook saw her look at herself like she was the thing in the room to fear.
Then Cook ruined it.
âYou didnât mean to.â
Her eyes filled. âThat doesnât make it better.â
âI know.â
âYou donât.â The words came out small, but they came out hers. âYou donât know that.â
Cookâs hand dropped from her face. The loss of contact seemed to scare her more than the confession. She reached for him instantly, then stopped herself halfway, hand hovering between them like she didnât trust it to be her own. That shouldâve killed something in him. Instead, it made him angry. Not at her. At the pause. At the tiny stubborn piece of her still trying to choose. Cook sat up.
âGet dressed,â he said.
She blinked. âWhat?â
âWeâve got work.â
âCookââ
âGarethâll be watching everyone. Ryan too.â He swung his legs off the mattress and found his jeans on the floor. âYou donât show up, it looks weird.â
âIt is weird.â
He turned back to her. She flinched before he even spoke. Cook saw it. Cook hated it. Cook kept going anyway.
âYou want everyone asking questions?â he said. âYou want them looking at you?â
Her defiance drained, replaced by fear so quickly it proved him right in the worst way.
âNo.â
âThen get dressed.â
She stared at him for another moment, eyes wet, mouth trembling around something she didnât say. Then she nodded.
Of course she did.
Kingpinâs opened late, which was Garethâs version of respect.
By noon, the front doors were unlocked, the arcade machines were shrieking, and the fryer was back to pumping grease into the air like nothing human had ever happened within fifty feet of the place. The back corner of the car park was still taped off. Tashaâs car was gone. Someone had thrown sand over the worst of what had been left on the tarmac, but rain had dragged some of it thin, carrying it in faint reddish trails toward the drain near the bins. Cook saw it before she did. He stepped in front of her without thinking. Not to protect her from it. To stop her reacting where anyone could see.
She almost walked into his back. âCook?â
âEyes on me.â
Her fingers were cold when he took her wrist, disappearing almost completely into the sleeve of his old jacket. His jacket. Because apparently even after everything, Cook still couldnât stop making little claims on her where people could see. No. Worse than that. He liked seeing her in it. Inside, Gareth was pacing by the front desk with his phone in one hand and a clipboard in the other, face blotchy, beard rough where he kept dragging his fingers through it.
âNo one says anything that isnât what they already said,â he snapped before Cook had even clocked in. âPolice come back, you cooperate. Customers ask, you donât know a bloody thing. Press ask, you donât know a bloody thing louder.â
JJ stood near the shoe rental, arms folded tight across his chest, staring at nothing. His face had a greyish cast to it. Every few seconds his eyes flicked toward the back corridor and then away again, as if looking too long might bring Tasha through it. Ryan was behind the lanes. He looked like he hadnât slept. The second Cook walked in, Ryanâs attention fixed on him with a hatred so evident it made the room feel hotter. Then his eyes moved to her. She was standing half a step behind Cook, quiet, hands tucked into the sleeves of the jacket. She looked smaller when she wasnât performing devotion. Not physically. Just dimmed somehow, like the morning had drained the violence out of her and left her with the echo of it. Ryan looked from her to Cook, and whatever he saw there made his jaw tighten. Cook felt her shift beside him.
âDonât,â he said under his breath.
âI wasnât.â
âYeah, you were.â
Her fingers brushed his wrist. âI just donât like how heâs looking at you.â
Cook almost laughed. Almost. Because Tasha was dead. Because the back lot still had caution tape around it. Because Ryanâs grief had teeth, and all Cook could think for one sick second was that she still cared more about Ryan looking at him than the body that had been dragged out of the car. He leaned closer, mouth near her ear.
âThen donât look back.â
She went still, then her eyes dropped to the floor. Of course they did. Gareth clapped his hands once, sharp and desperate. âRight. Weâve got two parties booked, one staff member down, and if anyone starts crying where customers can see it, I swear to God Iâll join in and then weâre all fucked. Move.â
It shouldâve been impossible to work. It wasnât. That was the worst part. Shoes still needed spraying. Lanes still jammed. Kids still shoved tokens into machines and screamed when the claw dropped half an inch from a stuffed plushie. The world had a disgusting talent for carrying on. Tasha had been alive yesterday. Today, a man complained that lane five had swallowed his daughterâs pink bowling ball and could someone please fix it because theyâd paid for the full hour. Cook fixed it. He crawled half under the return while the machinery coughed and rattled above him, grease and dust sticking to his forearms, and tried not to think about Tashaâs head hitting the wheel. Tried not to think about the hotline, about the box in his glove compartment.
When he came back out, Ryan was waiting. Not by accident. He stood near the staff-only door with a bucket of lane cleaner in one hand and murder in his face. Not the messy kind she had. Ryanâs was quieter. Human. The sort that still knew what consequences were and hated itself for wanting them anyway.
âWe need to talk.â
Cook wiped his hands on his work trousers. âPopular fucking phrase lately.â
Ryan didnât blink. âNow.â
âNo.â
Ryan stepped closer. âDid she do it?â
Cookâs eyes flicked, just once, toward the prize counter.
She was there with JJ, sorting tickets into bundles because Gareth had stuck her somewhere visible, somewhere bright, somewhere he could pretend visible meant safe. Her hands moved carefully. Too carefully. Every few seconds, she looked over at Cook like she could feel the distance tugging. Cook looked back at Ryan.
âCareful.â
âDid she do it?â
âYou grieving, mate? Or interrogating?â
Ryanâs face twisted. âDonât call me mate.â
Cookâs smile came on out of habit. It didnât reach anywhere real. âAlright. What do you want me to call you?â
âI want you to tell me why Tashaâs dead.â
The word hit the air between them. Dead. Not hurt. Not hospital. Not accident. Dead. Cook felt it move across the room even though Ryan had kept his voice low. It seemed to find her anyway. Her head lifted at the prize counter, eyes locking onto him. Cookâs stomach dropped. Ryan saw it. Saw her. Saw the line between them work. His expression changed.
âJesus,â he said quietly. âYou know.â
Cook grabbed his arm and shoved him through the staff-only door before Ryan could say it any louder. The back corridor smelled of damp cardboard, bleach, and the bins outside. The fluorescent light overhead flickered hard enough to make the walls twitch. Cook let go first, because keeping his hand on Ryan felt too much like admitting Ryan had made him move. Ryan shoved him back. Cook hit the opposite wall, shoulder first.
âThere he is,â Cook said, breath coming sharp. âKnew you had a little fight in you.â
Ryanâs eyes were red. Not crying now. Past that. âWhat did you do to her?â
Cookâs mouth shut. Not what did she do? What did you do to her?
Ryan stepped closer. âShe wasnât like this.â
âEveryone keeps saying that.â
âBecause itâs true.â
Cook laughed, short and ugly. âYou all experts now, yeah?â
âI knew her.â
The words landed exactly where Ryan meant them to.
Cookâs hands curled at his sides. âDid you?â
Ryan stared at him. Then something bitter moved through Ryanâs face, grief and guilt and cruelty all getting tangled together.
âYeah, Cook. I did.â
Cookâs jaw flexed.
Ryan took one more step. âYou read her phone?â
Cook said nothing.
âThatâs why youâve been looking at me like that.â
Cookâs smile came back wrong. âCareful, mate.â
Ryan laughed then, but there was nothing funny in it. âYouâre unbelievable.â
âYeah? Go on.â
âShe was coming round mine,â Ryan said. âBefore all this. Before you started acting like sheâd been yours the whole time.â
Cook felt the corridor tilt. Ryan saw it and kept going.
âShe was texting me. Wearing my hoodie. Getting in my bed because she wanted to, not because I had to hover over her every second like a fucking creep.â
Cookâs hand curled into a fist.
Ryanâs voice shook, but he didnât stop. âAnd the worst part? I told you to ask her out because I knew sheâd say no. I knew she didnât want you like that.â
Cook hit him. It wasnât clever. Definitely not planned. His fist cracked across Ryanâs mouth hard enough to snap his head sideways, and for one beautiful second the only thing in the world was impact. Ryan stumbled into a stack of flattened cardboard boxes, caught himself, then came back swinging. His knuckles caught Cook in the cheek. Pain flashed white. Cook laughed through it because laughing was better than making the sound he actually wanted to make. He shoved Ryan back towards the door at the end of the corridor, the one that opened behind the lanes where the machinery ran loud enough to eat voices. Ryan grabbed the front of his Kingpin's polo.
âYou ruined her,â Ryan spat.
Cook drove his shoulder into him, slamming him against the wall. Ryanâs breath punched out.
âYou donât know shit.â
âI know she was scared of you.â
âShe came back to me.â
âDid she?â Ryanâs mouth twisted, blood bright at the corner. âOr did you finally wear her down enough that she stopped sounding like herself?â
Cook froze. The corridor seemed to narrow around the sentence. Ryanâs chest rose and fell hard. He looked past Cook then, toward the small rectangular window in the staff door. Cook turned. She was there. Standing on the other side of the glass. Watching. For a long moment, no one moved. Her eyes went from Cookâs split cheek to Ryanâs bleeding mouth. Then to Ryanâs hands, still twisted in Cookâs work shirt. Something in her face went empty. Ryan let go first.
âDonât,â he said. Not to Cook. To her. That made it worse. Cook opened the door before she could.
âGo back out front,â he said.
She looked at Ryan, then at Cook. Ryan shook his head slowly. âDonât listen to him.â
Her hand flexed at her side. The bandage pulled tight across her palm. Cook felt the whole thing balance there, awful and delicate. He shouldâve told her to leave. He shouldâve told Ryan to run. Instead, because Ryan had said she was coming round mine and Cook could still feel the words chewing through his ribs, he said, âHeâs upsetting me.â
Her face changed. Ryan saw it happen.
âOh, fuck you,â he said, voice cracking. âCook, donâtââ
She didnât run at first. That was what made it scary. She walked through the staff door with the same terrible focus sheâd had outside Tashaâs car, shoulders still, bandaged hand flexing at her side. Ryan backed up on instinct, one hand lifted like he could talk her down, like there was anything in the room left to reason with. Cook saw the exact second Ryan understood he wasnât looking at someone angry. He was looking at someone aimed.
âStay back,â Ryan said.
She didnât even blink. âYou hurt him.â
Cookâs split cheek pulsed with heat, and some rotten little part of him thrilled at how quickly sheâd made it simple. Ryan had blood on his mouth. Cook had blood under his skin. That was enough. That was all the curse needed. It didnât care about Tasha, or the phone, or the way Ryan had said she was coming round mine like it was a knife and he knew where to jab. It only needed Cook hurt and Ryan close enough to punish.
Ryan looked past her. âCook.â
Cook shouldâve said something. He shouldâve grabbed her, shouldâve pulled her back by the waist and told Ryan to get out, shouldâve used the same horrible obedience that made her drop her eyes and come when called. The command sat ready in his mouth. Stop. Leave him. Come here. But Ryanâs words were still lodged under his ribs. She was coming round mine. Wearing my hoodie. Getting in my bed because she wanted to.
Cook said nothing, and she closed the distance.
Ryan shoved her away when she reached for him, not hard enough to hurt, just enough to keep her off. That was his mistake. Her shoulder hit the wall, and the sound she made wasnât pain. It was surprise, followed by something low and furious. She came back faster, catching his wrist with both hands and twisting it down so sharply Ryan swore and stumbled sideways into the door behind the lanes. The machinery was louder back there, all clatter and hum, the ugly industrial guts of Kingpinâs hidden from customers by painted walls and ugly carpet. A return motor coughed somewhere beyond the door, belts turning, rollers dragging, pins knocking together in hollow plastic thuds. Ryan tried to wrench his arm free, but she went with him, body pressed close, face blank with effort.
âYou touched him,â she said.
Ryanâs eyes flashed with panic. âI didnâtââ
âYou made him bleed.â
Cook moved then, too late to be innocent and too slow to be useful. âAlright, thatâs enough.â
She didnât hear him. Or she did and chose the stronger command: his hurt, her rage, the wish turning both into permission. Ryan stumbled through the half-open service door and hit the narrow space behind lane seven. The air changed at once, hotter and worse, thick with dust, oil, and old rubber. The ball return was exposed in pieces back here, not the glossy customer-facing mouth that spat balls neatly onto the rack, but the underside: belts, metal runners, wheels turning with a grinding patience that made Cookâs stomach tighten.
âGet her off me!â Ryan shouted.
Cook grabbed her shoulder. âStop it.â
She jerked out from under his hand so violently his fingers slipped off the jacket. Ryan tried to swing again, but she caught his arm and shoved forward with everything in her, driving his hand down toward the moving gap beside the return belt. Ryan realized what she was doing half a second too late.
âNoââ
His hand went into the machinery.
The sound was immediate and awful, a wet crunch swallowed under the churn of the return motor. Ryan screamed, high and shocked, his whole body folding toward the trapped hand as the belt dragged and bucked around him. The machine didnât care. It kept trying to do its job, kept pulling, kept grinding, the rollers knocking his knuckles sideways in a way hands were never meant to bend. Cook lunged for the emergency switch. His palm slapped the red button hard enough to hurt. The belt stopped, but the silence after was somehow worse because Ryan was still screaming. He dropped to his knees, clutching his wrist with his free hand, his other hand caught at a wrong angle inside the metal mouth of the return. Blood ran fast over the black rubber belt and dripped onto the concrete in thick, ugly spots. One finger twitched when it shouldnât have. Another didnât move at all.
âFuck,â Cook breathed. âFuck, fuck.â
Ryan sobbed through his teeth, trying not to look at it and looking anyway. âMy hand! Oh my God, my hand!â
She stood over him, chest rising and falling, the bandage on her palm red again where the fight had split it open. Her face wasn't blank now. It was bright with purpose, eyes locked on Ryan like the machine had only done half the work.
âHe hurt you,â she said to Cook, almost pleading with him to understand.
Ryan looked up at her, ruined hand still caught, face pinched in pain. âYouâre sick.â
That did it. Cook saw it happen and still didnât move fast enough. There was a rack of spare pins against the wall, scuffed and dirty from practice lanes, their white plastic bodies scarred with black marks. She grabbed one by the neck with both hands. Ryan tried to scramble back, but his trapped hand kept him anchored in place, dragging a gutted sound out of him when he pulled against the crushed fingers.
âDonât,â Cook snapped.
For once, the word hit her. She hesitated, pin lifted, breath shaking in her throat. Her eyes cut to him, and for a second the whole room balanced on the thin, disgusting edge of what he wanted her to do. Ryan was crying now, properly, sweat and tears and blood all mixing on his face. âPlease.â
Cook looked at him, at his hand, at her holding the pin.
Then Ryan said, âSheâs not yours.â
The pin came down.
It cracked against the side of his head with a hollow, brutal sound that seemed too loud even with the machines around them. Ryanâs body jerked sideways, his shoulder slamming into the return housing. Blood opened at his temple and ran immediately into his hairline, down along his ear, over the corner of his jaw. He made a noise like air leaving a bag. She hit him again. Not clean this time. The pin glanced off his cheekbone and caught his mouth, splitting his lip wider, knocking his head back against the metal. His teeth clicked together with a sound Cook felt in his own jaw. Blood sprayed across the pin in a curved red stripe, then onto her shirt, Cookâs jacket, the concrete between them.
âStop!â Cook grabbed the pin before she could swing a third time, wrenching it hard enough that she nearly came with it. âI said stop!â
She fought him for it, wild for two seconds, then all the force went out of her at once. The pin slipped from both their hands and rolled across the concrete, leaving a thin red track behind it. Ryan sagged beside the machine, half-conscious, his breath coming in broken, wet pulls. His trapped hand was still caught in the return, mangled and slick, and Cook couldnât look at it for more than a second without his stomach trying to turn itself inside out. The door behind them banged open. JJ stood there, face drained of all expression, one hand still on the handle. His eyes took in Ryan first, then the pin, then her, then Cook. For one long second, nobody spoke. The only sound was Ryan breathing through blood and pain, the soft drip of something hitting the concrete, the muffled shriek of children out front winning tickets from a machine.
JJ whispered, âWhat the fuck?â
Cook moved before anyone else could.
âGet Gareth,â he said.
JJ didnât move.
âNow,â Cook barked, and that finally snapped him out of it.
JJ stumbled back through the door, nearly tripping over his own feet as he ran. Cook turned to her, grabbed her by both arms, and dragged her away from Ryan before she could look down long enough to understand what sheâd done. Her breathing was too fast. Her pupils were blown wide. Blood dotted her cheek in tiny specks that werenât hers.
âLook at me,â Cook said.
She did. Of course she did. The obedience hit him like nausea.
âGo to the toilets,â he said. âWash your hands. Wash your face. Donât talk to anyone.â
Her lips parted. âButââ
âNow.â
She obeyed, but not before glancing back at Ryan. The sight of him seemed to cut through something. Her face buckled, horror pushing up through devotion, and Cook saw her almost say his name in that scared, lost voice from the car park. He stepped in front of her before she could.
âGo.â
She went. Cook crouched beside Ryan, hands hovering uselessly because there was nowhere safe to touch. Ryanâs eyes rolled toward him, unfocused but aware enough to hate.
âYou did this,â Ryan rasped.
Cook swallowed. âShut up.â
âYou did.â
âShut the fuck up, Ryan.â
Ryanâs mouth twitched, a bloody, terrible attempt at a laugh. âShe didnât even know why.â
Cookâs throat tightened. Boots pounded down the corridor. Gareth arrived first, JJ right behind him, both stopping dead at the edge of the service space. Garethâs face collapsed into something Cook had never seen on him before. Not anger. Not annoyance. Fear, pure and stupid and useless.
âWhat happened?â Gareth shouted.
Cook looked at the stopped machine, the blood on the concrete, the pin against the wall, Ryan folded beside the return with his hand ruined inside it. A dozen lies came running at once, each worse than the last.
âHe slipped,â Cook said.
Gareth stared at him. âHe fucking what?â
âHe was messing with the return.â Cook stood, wiping his palms on his trousers even though that only spread the red thinner. âHand got caught. Hit his head when he went down.â
JJ made a sound behind Gareth. Not belief. Not disagreement. Just panic trying to find somewhere to go.
Ryan coughed, blood bubbling at his mouth. âLiar.â
Cook looked down at him. Ryan looked back. For a second, Cook thought Ryan might say it. Might say her name. Might say everything in front of Gareth and JJ, and whatever police came crawling back into Kingpinâs after this fresh disaster. But pain broke across his face before words could, and he folded over his trapped hand, choking on another scream when he shifted wrong. Gareth snapped into motion then, not because he believed Cook but because the emergency gave him something easier than the truth. âJJ, call an ambulance. Now. Cook, donât fucking touch him. Nobody touches anything.â
JJ ran. Gareth turned on Cook, voice low and shaking. âWhere is she?â
Cookâs heart dropped. âWho?â
âDonât,â Gareth said. âDonât you dare, not now.â
Cookâs cheek throbbed. His ribs hurt. His hands smelled like blood and rubber and old grease. Behind the customer wall, someone laughed loud enough to carry, bright and horrible, followed by the crack of pins at the end of a lane. Gareth stared at him like he was finally seeing the thing everyone else had been circling. Cook held his gaze and said nothing. The toilet door opened somewhere down the corridor. She stepped out with wet hands, face scrubbed clean enough to leave the skin rubbed raw-looking under the harsh lights. Her bandage was soaked through again. She looked at Gareth, then JJâs empty spot, then Ryan on the floor. Her face crumpled.
âWhat did I do?â she whispered.
Gareth turned toward her. Cook got there first. He caught her by the wrist, careful of the bandage this time, and pulled her behind him. âNothing,â he said.
Ryan made a broken sound from the floor. Cook didnât look at him.
âNothing,â he repeated, and felt the lie take shape around all of them.
The lie didnât hold this time. Not properly. It got them through the next ten minutes because panic was louder than truth. Gareth shouted. JJ came back shaking with a phone pressed to his ear. Ryan kept slipping in and out of sense, groaning through his teeth whenever the smallest movement dragged pain through his ruined hand. Cook stood between her and everyone else like his body could block the whole scene from becoming what it was. But no one looked at him like they believed him. Not JJ, pale under the fluorescent lights, eyes darting between the blood on the pin and the blood on her sleeve. Not Gareth, whose face had gone hard in a way Cook had never seen before. Not Ryan, half-folded beside the machine, mouth bloody, eyes glassy with pain and still full of enough hate to keep finding Cook through it.
âShe did it,â Ryan rasped when the paramedics came.
Cookâs stomach dropped. Gareth looked at her. She stood behind Cook with both hands tucked into the sleeves of his jacket, bandage soaked red, face scrubbed raw from the bathroom sink. She didnât deny it. That was the worst bit. She didnât cry, didnât argue, didnât perform innocently. She only looked at Ryan like some part of her was trying to wake up and couldnât get past the fog. One of the paramedics asked her to sit down.
Cook answered before she could. âSheâs in shock.â
Gareth snapped his head toward him. âEnough.â
Cookâs mouth shut. One word, and it hit harder than any of the shouting had. Not from Ryan. Not from Tasha. Gareth. Red-faced, cheap, useless Gareth, whoâd spent years caring more about broken lane motors than broken people, looking at Cook like he finally knew exactly what kind of rot had been spreading under his carpet. Police came after the ambulance. Of course they did. This time, there was too much to sand down before opening. Too much blood. Too many witnesses. Too many broken things happening around the same two people. Cook gave his statement in Garethâs office while an officer with tired eyes wrote everything down and asked the same question six different ways.
Had Ryan attacked him first? Yes. Had she intervened? She panicked. Had she used the bowling pin? Cook didnât see. Had she shoved Ryanâs hand into the return? Cook didnât see. The officer stopped writing. Cook smiled like his cheek wasnât throbbing. âBit busy getting punched, mate.â
The officer didnât smile back. Through the glass strip in the office door, Cook could see her sitting on a plastic chair by the staff lockers with JJ beside her and another officer crouched in front of her. She looked small under the strip lights, not because of her body, but because the room seemed to have stripped all the command out of her. Her hands sat open on her knees. The red bandage glared against her lap. When the officer asked her something, she looked toward Cook. The officer followed her gaze. Cook looked away too late.
By the time they let them leave, it was because no one had enough straightforward answers to do anything else yet. Ryan was in hospital. Tasha was dead. The girl from the car park was still alive but no longer some one-off bit of violence they could bury under bad luck and Garethâs lack of CCTV. Everything had started connecting itself in peopleâs heads, thin red lines between nights Cook wanted kept separate.
Gareth caught Cook near the back door. He looked older than he had that morning. Not softer. Never that. Just worn down, as if Kingpinâs had finally asked too much of him and he hated them all for making him notice.
âYou donât come in tomorrow,â he said.
Cook blinked. âWhat?â
âNeither of you do.â
âGarethââ
âI said donât.â Garethâs voice shook once, then steadied into something ugly. âI donât know what the fuck is happening, and I donât want to know. But if she comes near this place again before police sort it, Iâm calling them myself.â
Cookâs laugh came out thin. âBit late for principles, innit?â
Gareth stepped closer. For once, he didnât look ridiculous. âGet out.â
Cook wanted to say something clever. Nothing came. Outside, the late afternoon had gone grey and wet, the sky sagging low over the car park. She followed him without speaking, footsteps too quiet behind his. The tape was still around the corner where Tasha had died. Rain had softened the edges of everything except the memory. Halfway to his car, she stopped. Cook noticed because the distance pulled at him now too, some sick echo of the way she always felt him. He turned and found her standing by the drain, staring at the car park like she could replace the scene of every bad thing sheâd done printed over the concrete.
âI donât want this,â she said.
The words were quiet, but they carried. Cookâs chest tightened. She looked at him then, and for the first time in days, maybe weeks, there was no worship in her face. No softening. No automatic reach toward him. Just fear and grief and something exhausted enough to be honest.
âI donât want this,â she said again.
Cook took a step toward her. âYouâre upset.â
âNo.â Her voice shook. âNo, donât do that. Donât tell me what I am.â
He stopped. Rain caught in his hair, cold at the back of his neck. Her hands curled against her sides. âI can feel it when you say things. I can feel myself changing around them. Like my head turns wrong. Like Iâm there, and then Iâm not.â
Cook swallowed. She pressed both hands to her chest like she could hold herself in place. âI remember Ryan. I remember liking him. I remember Tasha. I remember thinking she was nice to me when you were being a dick about something. I remember all of it until you talk, and then it moves. It all moves.â
âCome here,â Cook said before he could stop himself.
She flinched. Then her body took one step. Only one. She froze with horror on her face, staring down at her own foot like it had betrayed her. Cook felt the bottom drop out of him and hated, viciously, that some part of him still wanted to see if sheâd take another. Her eyes lifted to his. Wet. furious. terrified.
âDonât,â she whispered.
Cookâs mouth went dry.
âI donât want you,â she said.
The sentence landed exactly where heâd always known it would. Not like Ryan saying it. Not like Tasha reporting it. Her. Standing in the rain, shaking under the weight of everything his wish had done to her, finally getting one clean line through the curse and putting it between them.
âI donât want you,â she repeated, and the second time it broke her voice. âNot like this. Maybe not ever. I donât know anymore. I donât know whatâs mine.â
Cook looked at her and saw the whole horrible truth of it. The car. The willow. Her at the window. Her in his bed. Her hands in Tashaâs hair. Ryanâs hand caught in the machine. Every time heâd said come here and watched her obey. Every time heâd told himself it was close enough to love if she kissed him back. He could still do it. That was the thought that ruined him most. He could say her name the right way. Step closer. Touch her face. Tell her she was confused, that she was his, that sheâd always been his. The curse would help. It always helped. It would take the pain out of her eyes and put the devotion back. It would make her easier to hold.
Instead, maybe because the rain was cold enough to feel like punishment, maybe because Ryanâs scream was still in his ears, maybe because Tashaâs last breath had followed him all the way into daylight, Cook finally said it.
âI made a wish.â
She stared at him.
His voice came out rougher than he wanted. âThat night. In the car. After you got out.â
Her breathing changed.
âI had that stupid fucking willow thing,â he said. âThe gift. From that oddity shop by Kingpinâs you told me about. I broke it.â
Her face lost everything.
âI wished for you to want me.â
For a second, even the rain seemed to go quiet. Then she took a step back. This time, it was hers. Cook felt it like a door slamming in his face.
âNo,â she said.
He almost laughed, because of course that was what people said when the truth was too ugly to fit into the room. No. As if refusing it could make the world rearrange itself. As if he hadnât spent days doing exactly that.
âIâm sorry,â he said, and hated how useless it sounded.
She looked at him like she didnât know what sorry was supposed to do with all the blood.
âYou made me?â
Cook said nothing.
âYou made me want you?â
âI didnât know it wouldââ
âDonât.â Her voice cracked hard. âDonât you dare say you didnât know. You wanted it.â
He looked away.
She laughed once. Small. Broken. Nothing like amusement. âOh my God.â
âI didnât know itâd be like this.â
âBut you knew enough.â She looked down at her bandaged hand, then back at him. âYou knew enough to keep going.â
That was the bit he couldnât answer. She came closer then, slow and careful, like approaching him cost her something. Cook didnât move. He didnât trust himself to. She stopped close enough that he could see the rain caught on her lashes, the tremor in her mouth, the terrible clarity in her face.
âThen Iâm yours because you asked,â she said.
Cook shut his eyes.
âNo.â
âYes.â Her voice was soft now, and that made it worse. âThatâs what this is, isnât it? Iâm yours because you asked something to take me.â
He opened his eyes. The curse moved under her grief like something waking up. He could see it, and he hated that he could see it: the way her anger bent toward pain, the way her pain bent toward him, the way even this truth tried to make her reach for the person who had caused it. Her hand lifted. Stopped. Shook in the space between them.
âI hate you,â she whispered.
Cook nodded, because she should. Then her fingers caught in his shirt.
âI love you,â she said, and broke on it.
That was the worst thing the wish had done. Not the blood, not Tasha, not Ryan, not the girl by the bins. It hadnât erased the hate or spared her the truth; it had left both alive in her mouth and made the love louder. Cook caught her wrist before she could come any closer. For one breath, he almost let her go. Then he pulled.
ౚৠ18+ mdni, gojo satoru (or wish!satoru) x fem!reader , dark content , psychological horror , yearning , toxicity , possession , semi-inspired by Obsession (2026) and DDLC (2017) part 3 coming soon ! â§â Ëâč
Oh shit.
Every fiber of your being fell frozen, overtaken by panic staggering in your ribs it felt like you were suffocating. There was something bone-chilling about the way Gojo started walking towards your carâ you werenât prepared for this moment at all. Everything happened in a blink of an eye and you couldnât register what was going on at this very moment.
When he stood in front of the passenger window, he bends down slightly to look inside, and right there you can see that same genuine smile he had for you this morning, stretching across his face when he sees you. You had no choice but to open your window.
âHey, um. Sorry for surprising you so late,â he chuckled nervously. âI saw your car passing by from my window and I was hoping to see you before you drove home. Been thinking about you since this morning.â
You blinked rapidly, taken aback by his words and his strange nervous demeanor. âWaitâ you saw my car passing by from your window?â
âUh, yeah. Who doesnât recognize their next door neighborâs car?â he scoffed, rolling his eyes as if this was a very normal thing to say.
You drew your eyebrows together in bewilderment, still unable to process what the fuck is happening right now. Gojoâs expression was softened, relaxed; a smile so unscathed like he was raptured in Heavenly bliss by the sight of you. And the way his pupils dilated wider than a chasm the more he stared at youâ youâve never seen him look at you like this before, but he looked at you as if you robbed him of control, robbed him of speech. As if you alone expelled all the air from his lungs that he couldnât breathe, eitherâŠ
âYouâ you also said youâve been thinking about meâŠ?â
Gojo folds his arms and rests his elbows on the frame of the passenger window. âYeah. I mean, uhâ Since this morning. After our coffee dateâ I meanâ after we got coffee together and sat down and talked.â
Did he just say it was a coffee date?
âOh.â Your gaze drifts warily to the bag from the crystal shop, the opened One Wish Willow box peaking out. âGojo⊠Are you okayâŠ?â
âYeah. Why would I not be?â he scoffs again. âI meanâ are you okay?â
Even though you were paralyzed with confusion and had no idea why your neighbor was acting so strange, so erratic, you felt uneasy about this happening late at night. Your house was right there, literally right in front of you, wanting nothing more than to get home safely and call it a night.
âYeah, Iâmâ Iâm okay. I was just on my way home, soââ
âNo, no, I meantâ are you okay being home alone for tonight?â
The question hangs heavy in the air like an endless tempest of complete bewilderment, obfuscating your mind as if you werenât sure you heard him correctly. The street was still dead silent around you with the humid breeze stirring the trees overhead. All your focus was on Gojo and his demeanor as if he was genuinely concerned. Not flirtatious or teasing, but as if the idea of you being alone was enough to bother him.
You take one last glance at the broken halves of the willow twig. There was no way in Hell that this One Wish Willow toy had anything to do with Gojo randomly approaching you. It was only a collectible, a toy, a cheap novelty charm that has no way for making your wish come true, but yetâ
You couldnât help but love the way his eyes never left your face.
The way his attention was entirely fixed on you. That look on his face that makes your body awaken with desire, a hunger than you couldnât satiate for the longest, a thirst that couldnât be quenched by anybody else, not even by your handsome Tinder hookup from last night. And sure, you may have been conflicted from Gojo suddenly making a move tonight out of all days, but that selfish, greedy part of you absolutely loved it.
ââŠIâve never really minded being alone, you know,â you bantered, hiding your smirk.
âYeah, but⊠I didnât know you at all before today. It makes me think what kind of neighbor am I not going out of my way to get to know you. And now that I finally got to, I canât stand the thought of you being by yourself,â he suddenly consoled. âPlease. Itâs up to you if you wanna come over or I come over to your place. Either way is fine by me.â
Gojo was practically begging for your company, the same way youâve been begging for him to notice you ever since he moved in. The irony was delicious; a few hours ago you wouldâve killed for this opportunity, but now that itâs finally happening, you ignore that sinking feeling in your gut and only embrace how badly youâve been wanting him to want you.
âOkay. We can head over to my place then,â you obliged.
The moment you let Gojo Satoru step into your home, you find him standing entirely still while taking in the house with quiet fascination. With your stomach swirling and churning, you didnât know what to say. You couldnât even believe this was happening right nowâ everything that has led up to this point was still too much to register. Yes, youâve imagined this countless times. Youâve wanted this, you wished for this; your hot next door neighbor standing inside your own home for the first time, crossing the threshold youâve spent months wishing he wouldâŠ
In every fantasy, you basked in the thought of him finally entering your world and seeing who you really are. But now that it was really happening, you find yourself highly strung. You couldnât pinpoint it; the way his gaze fixated on everything you own, from the portraits hung on your wall to the books on your shelves and all your knick knacks, you felt this peculiar sensation that you couldnât pinpoint. Perhaps it was because of that secret, shameful part of you that dreamed of this all along. You couldnât even explain why the feeling thrilled you as much as it frightened you.
To Gojo, it wasnât the expensive furniture or the fancy decor that you arranged in your own home that he noticed. This was a very cozy suburban home definitely built for a family of four or five, but itâs only ever held one single person. And although you have stable income, a good career, and youâre an independent woman that enjoys the peace and quiet, there was absolutely nothing tragic about your lifestyleâ it was just something about the absence of another person that made him ache.
ââŠYou have a beautiful home,â he beamed. âLove what youâve done with the place.â
âThank you. I worked really hard for it.â
âI can tell.â As he was roaming around your living room, his attention drifted to a book resting on top of your coffee table, frowning when he analyzed the cover. âPoetry?â
âOh, um⊠Yeah. Thatâs a gift from my friend,â you lied, your heart suddenly stammering if he were to see what kind of poems were on that book. âI only skimmed through a few pages. The poems on there are kinda, umâŠâ
âOh. No need to get embarrassed,â he chuckled softly. âItâs beautiful, you know.â
âYouâ you think so?â
The corner of Gojoâs lips slowly curled to a smile when his gaze drifted back onto your face. He looked oddly adorable, yet a little uncanny, as if he was stuck in a trance just having the privilege to admire your existence.
âYeah. Everything about you is beautiful,â he mutters sweetly, sauntering closer to you. âYouâre beautiful.â
Your breath got caught in your throat from the way he stood so close to you. That compliment alone was everything you wanted to hear from him, and hearing it at least two times today was enough to fawn over. But then that uneasy gut feeling contorted in your stomach again, a mix of danger and excitement unwavering within your psyche.
ââŠAre you sure that youâre okay, Gojo?â
He blinks rapidly, then lets out a small, incredulous scoff. âOf course Iâm okayâ why, am I acting weird? Is it too much?â
You hesitated for a moment. âNo. Sorry, itâs justâ You seemed really intense all of a sudden it caught me off guard.â
âOhâŠâ His eyes began to pool with dismay as if he was hit with embarrassment. âI didnât mean to. Iâm just trying to tell you how I felt. Did I make you uncomfortable?â
âNo, no. I justââ
In a blink of an eye, Gojoâs erratic behavior happened right before you again like a snap, instantly switching up from shame to a dismissive snort. He shook his head with a quiet, contempt scoff as if he was trying to laugh if off.
âIâm not acting weird am I? Iâm notâ wait, what the fuck?â
In that fleeting moment of him snapping like that, leaving you in perturbation, you halted when the words got caught in his own throat. Paralyzing, raw confusion overtook his face just like that. For just a brief moment you see something shifted behind his eyes, as if they were unfocused, distant, sharpened; unable to orient himself as they dart around the room so frantically like he didnât recognize where he was standing at.
âGojo, what the fuckââ
âWoah, woah, woah.â Gojo suddenly chuckled it almost startled you, as if the confusion instantly drained from his face so fast you were unable to grasp anything that just happened. His affectionate smile came back again, immediately hiding any sign of confusion while laughing sheepishly under his breath. âWoah, Iâmâ Iâm sorry. Maybe I am acting⊠weirdâŠâ
You couldnât do anything but mirror his laugh out of nervousness, out of pure shock and bewilderment. For one impossible, intoxicating moment, you finally have your own moment with the hot boy next door youâve been obsessing over. But now youâre deeply unsettled from him acting so imperceptible and unpredictable that youâve never thought heâd act this way, especially from how different his demeanor was at the cafe. All you could think about is what the actual fuck is going on right now?
âOkay. Honestly youâre kinda freaking me out right now,â you coaxed, taking a step back. âI know we only met today but I didnât think youâd be like this, orâ Iâve never seen you act like this before. Are you, uhâ have you been drinking tonight by any chance?â
His expression fell apprehensively again. âMm⊠Maybe,â he fretted, rubbing the back of his neck. âI think I might be pretty fucked upâŠâ
âHey. Itâs okay,â you reassured while caressing the side of his arm. âMaybe we should just call it a night. I appreciate you coming over, but Iâll be okay alone tonight. You should go and get some rest. We can always pick this up tomorrow.â
You feel your own ribs tighten when he suddenly places his hand warm over yours. âThe thing is⊠I donât know if I can be alone tonight.â
Once again, you were robbed of speech. âWhyâŠ?â
ââŠEver since the divorce. Iâve been so lonely.â
Your heart sank down to your stomach when you heard the waver in his voice. After everything that happened tonight, him being this vulnerable and saying how lonely he was this whole time was all it took for your brain to piece everything together. Youâve spent months creating this toxic fantasy, a version of himself in your eyes; calling him a debauched, shameless whore and envying every stranger who got to be where you never were. It never crossed your mind how lonely it must feel for him in his own house and in a new neighborhood. And it was already heart-wrenching enough telling him straight to his face that he was freaking you out.
âOh⊠Shit, Iâm so sorry, Gojo,â you murmured softly, wrapping your arms around him. âI didnât mean to say you were actually freaking me out⊠It must be hard for you right now.â
âItâs okay,â he smiled weakly. âYou know, things happen. And I just want to forget about it.â
But right there and then, that greedy, selfish part of you cascades your mind again when you glance down your hallway. You hated yourself a little bit just thinking about, that sense of empathy inside of you corrupting.
Out of all those people he probably saved on his phone, he came all this way to me. I donât want him to leave just yet.
You wanted this.
Heâs vulnerable and alone and hurt. I shouldnât take advantage of him, thatâs fucked up. He can take care of himself heâs a grown man.
But you fucking wanted this.
This will be your only chance with him. Take it or leave it.
âYou could stay here if you want,â you suddenly blurted out, as if the words slipped out of your lips before you could stop them.
After leading him down the hall and opening the door, you flick the lights on for the cozy guest bedroom, letting Gojo walk in and look around. âNobodyâs been here since last Summer so everythingâs pretty much clean,â you say. âThereâs also pajama sets in the wardrobe and you get your own personal bathroom.â
You seem him suddenly inhaling deeply and letting out a soft sigh. âSmells just like you,â he beamed.
Your eyebrows twitched to a frown. âReally? Iâve never slept in this room before.â
âWell, everything in this house smells like you. I like it.â
You had no idea if you should feel flattered or weirded out, but you decided to just brush it off. As the silence stretched between you two, it was already late and your body was ready to call it a night. âWell, uh⊠Make yourself comfortable. Iâll be upstairs if you need me.â
The shadows of the guest room softened from the bedside lamp casting a warm glow while the rest of the lights in your home were all turned off. After Gojo freshened himself up and changed into comfortable sleepwear from the wardrobe, he was already settled onto the guest bed but unable to fall asleep.
After you had finished your nightly bedroom routine, you head downstairs to check up on him once more. âHey. Iâll be going to bed now. Goodnight, Gojo.â
âWait.â
You halted right before you could hold the knob to close the door, your heart starting to pound rapidly again from anticipation. ââŠYes?â
âCan you sleep here with meâŠ?â
The way he gently murmured to you, so timid but at the same time hinting of desperation. Yearning, thatâs what it felt like, and the air around you two was haunted with it. An uncontrollable eruption detonated in your chest, seethed in your gut. After every single incomprehensible thing that happened the moment Gojo walked in your home, your intoxicating hunger for him still remained. Insensate with longing, imprisoned by a degrading devotion.
Without uttering a single word and still quivering with anticipation, you sauntered towards the bed. You can hear his heavy and deliberate breathing, your chest cinching tight, unable to fathom snuggling underneath the same blanket or sitting on the same bed as him. You tried your best to relax but the goosebumps kept seeping into your skinâ it didnât help seeing Gojo suddenly strip his shirt off so suddenly, either. This white-hot sensation that made your body grow hotter ignited like a fire, threatening to combust right there.
His body. His body was the most ethereal, sublime body youâve ever laid your eyes on the very moment you saw him naked from your bedroom window. Seeing it up close, you soaked in the sight of his toned chest and biceps, his skin contrasting with the honey-colored lighting from the lamp. How you were writhing to run your fingers down his abs like a canvas, to finally admire him like he truly belonged to you.
ââŠIâm sorry that I was never there for you, Y/N,â he murmurs again, this time inching his hand closer to yours on the bed.
You let out a chuckle. âHey. Thatâs way past us now, itâs okay.â
No words. No words at all except that silent, violent desire clawing inside you from his lurid gaze, those icy blue eyes piercing through the dark that you never got to see up close until tonight. It felt as if you were surrendering to it, as if he was hypnotizing you, burning every molecule of desire in your body from the way he looked at you and subtly grazed his fingers against yours.
âI wasted all those months after moving here⊠when I couldâve been with the pretty girl next door this whole time,â he professed ardently, as if he spoke right into your soul.
Gojo draws his head closer, his lips inching ever so slowly towards yours, invading your space and stealing the air you breathe. You find yourself inching closer towards him too, those sweet, saccharine lips youâve been dreaming of finally pressed against yours. This tingling, blossoming sensation was something youâve never felt in your life that it made your own blood freeze, rendered docile to how tantalizing his lips felt on yours for the very first time.
You were enthralled, exhilarated, and ecstatic all at once. Your hands slither up his chest to his neck, feeling him deepen the kiss. This was everything youâve ever wanted, everything youâve ever desired, manifested, fantasized, or dreamed of. To finally caress his body, to finally savor his sweet kisses, you were raptured in a complete bliss; finally letting go of that unbearable gut from earlier that you couldnât wait toâ
âWhat the fuck? What the FUCK?!â
âOh my God!â you sputtered in alarm, backing up into the headboard with a loud thump while Gojo lurched backward so violently that he tumbled off the bed. But right there, for a very fleeting moment before he fell backwards, you saw it again in his eyes, widened in horror and raw with confusion.
You scrambled to the edge of the mattress. âWhat the Hell was that, Gojo?! Are you okay?â
âIâm sorry! Iâm sorry,â he suddenly perturbed, hastily standing up from the floor. That confusion that paralyzed him instantly dissolved away again. âI donât know what that was, Iâ I think I had a panic attack. Iâm so sorry!â
âGojo... Look, I know youâre going through a tough time right now and you said youâve been drinking, but these panic attacks that youâre having right now are concerning,â you lamented, extending your hand out for him to sit beside you on the edge of the mattress. âI donât even know what happened. What made youâŠÂ react like that?â
He sighed deeply, gently squeezing your hand. ââŠI think Iâm just tired and hungover,â he utters weakly. âYou donât have to sleep here with me if you donât want to⊠Iâm so sorry, Y/N. I donât want to freak you out again.â
âYouâre not freaking me out,â you assured sweetly, once again sweeping your gut feeling and your bewilderment under the rug just to maintain this moment with him. âHow about I stay with you right here until you fall asleep? After that, Iâll go to sleep in my room. Weâll pretend that it didnât happen.â
Gojo nodded meekly, then stared down at his lap in dismay. âIâm so sorry that I ruined our first kiss together.â
It took only ten minutes for him to fall asleep beside you, snuggled underneath the same covers again. You just laid there staring at the ceiling, your eyes feeling heavy while your mind kept replaying everything that just happened. How Gojo just saw you from outside his own window, how he ended up coming over for the first time and staying the night.
These sudden moments where Gojoâs emotional instability comes out lasting less than a heartbeat⊠Was he always this erratic? Is this how he really is at home where you canât see? Was him bringing all those people into his bedroom and having a ridiculous amount of sex his unhealthy way to cope with the divorce? Does he even drink alcohol like that?
âŠWas the divorce really that bad for him?
You donât want to shame Gojo nor take advantage of him, even though deep down you were so ready right there and then for him, letting him make the first move in taking off his shirt and kissing you. Sure, his sudden emotional whiplash mightâve killed the mood, but there was nothing else you could do except comfort him after all heâs been through.
With Gojo in a state of serenity, you give one last look at him sleeping so soundly, then slipped out of the bed quietly. But right before you could even make it to your stairs down the hall, another thought came across you; one of those late night thoughts that piques you with curiosity, making you want to Google something only to end up down a rabbit hole online. You decided to head to your office adjacent to the guest room and flipped open your laptop.
âŠÂ What is a One Wish Willow? Vintage Toy or Mysterious Collectible? https://www.threddit.com/onewishwillow Discover the mysterious backstory of One Wish Willow, the 80s novelty toy that sparked fascination and wonder. Known for granting âwishes,â this collectible item has gainedâŠ
âŠÂ Does the One Wish Willow Actually Work? https://mythologyweekly.com > articles > one-wish-willow Historians believe the One Wish Willow became popular in the late 1800s as a parlor game among wealthy families. While many claim the charm grants wishes, no historical evidenceâŠ
âŠÂ One Wish Willow | Buy Now! https://www.onewishwillow.com Grants one wish. No Multiple Attempts. Using additional One Wish WillowsTM will not change or affect your wishes. Only one wish per life per person.
You clicked on a random Reddit page, scrolling through threads, comments, and replies about using a One Wish Willow, including photos of that same prism-shaped box. Some of the top comments claimed they donât work, saying itâs nothing but a stupid novelty toy while some swear that they do work, only to find deleted replies underneath a creepy archived forum from 2008 and locked threads.
It was just too exhausting for this; urban legends about the novelty charm and people trying to make sense of coincidences. You closed your laptop off and sighed deeply, ready to call it a night and go to bed like you were supposed to hours ago. With the house completely silent and Gojo asleep, you headed down the hall towards the stairs.
âWhat were you doing?â
Your body jolted from hearing Gojoâs soft voice reverberating down your hall, suddenly frazzled with panic and fear that your heart felt as if it slammed into your throat. You slowly turn around, seeing him still in the guest bed through the door frame, but holding strong eye contact with you.
The way he stared at you was the most uncanny thing youâve ever seen in your life that your chest fell numb in horror. His icy blue eyes piercing right through you again, as if his pupils suddenly had no natural dilation, not contracting naturally with light. Struck with silence, your chest thrummed loudly while the nerves of your body failed to oblige. It was unsettling; straddled between the precipice of safety and danger, where your brain toiled with fear struggled to respond.
âSorry, I was⊠checking an order on Amazon⊠It was supposed to be an overnight delivery but⊠it got delayed,â you lied, unable to move your own body at all.
âOh⊠Were you also heading to bed?â
âYâ yeah. Like I said earlier, rememberâŠ?â
âOh⊠Yeah, I rememberâŠâ The tone in Gojoâs voice was melancholic and wistful as if he was hesitant on what to say or what not to say. ââŠLook, Iâm sorry. I know youâre tired and Iâve asked a lot from you tonight, but I donât know why I canât go back to sleep.â
âGojo. You donât have to apologize, okay? Itâs alright.â
He reaches over to turn the bedside lamp back on. âI know, but I just donât want to make it sound like Iâm taking advantage of you, which Iâm not,â he affirmed. âI justâ I seriously canât be alone right now. Please, if you could sleep with me. I promise I wonât scare you again. Iâll even keep the lamp on and I wonât touch you at all. I promise.â
Was Gojo ever this⊠clingy? Now I really want to know what happened that caused his divorce.
Even though every instinct of yours screamed for you to go upstairs and just go the fuck to sleep, you really canât resist this man. Your hot next door neighbor that youâve been obsessing over, begging for your company again, yearning for you to sleep beside him, as if he couldnât breathe when you are not near him... Suddenly you remembered why you fell for him so badly just by watching him through your bedroom windows; how sick and twisted he makes you, how he awakens your primal desires, how badly youâve craved him to crave you. No matter how many mantras of apologies he bursts out, Gojo Satoru alone was your definition of desire, and youâd follow him to the ends of time just to have many more moments like this with him again.
Youâre underneath the same covers again, laying beside each other with the luminous moonlight peeking through the curtains. Limbs interlocked carelessly with the sheets and the blanket sprawled all over the bed. Your breathing synchronized with his. His body warmth filling most of the space in this bed. You were finally, finally able to close your eyes and drift to sleep, finally letting go of everything from tonight.
âI like when you watch me, Y/NâŠâ he murmured in his sleep. âI've always liked it when you watched me from your windowâŠâ
Pairing: Aerion Targaryen x wife! Reader/ Lyonel Baratheon x fem! Reader
Word count: 7.8k
Synopsis: When your husband, Aerion, sees you dancing with a former suitor he sees red and goes above and beyond to get his love reciprocated.
Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader except for clothing, established relationship, Arryn! Reader, an alternate ending to this oneshot, based around my Where's my Husband series, love triangle, Obsessed! Aerion, Obsession AU, CW dark themes, CW gore and body horror, CW violence and blood. Angst. Reader discretion is advised.
Requested here
Navigation
3rd anniversary celebration đ
Aerion is infatuated with you, his Lady wife that he adores. You may not be of Valyrian descent just like him, but you have proved yourself worthy of the prince time and time again. Youâve tamed the dragon, and the dragon granted you his warmth, his undying love for forever and a day. And he thought that you shared the same sentiment, that you love and adore him just like he does for you. That every morning you wake up to him, heâs the first thing on your mind. With a smile on your face, and a thudding heart in your chest like itâs the first time youâve woken up beside him. Like how he does for you.
Every morning his thoughts are immediately on you, purple eyes flicking to the back of your head as you lay beside him, cheek pressed flush against the goosefeather pillow, mouth slightly agape and chest slowly rising and falling with every breath. Aerion would pull you beside him, turning you around so you would face him. You would groan and find his warmth with your face tucked right on his bare chest. He would always seek you out, his great Arryn love that has managed to cleave his chest open and dig yourself into his heart.
Aerion thought you loved him, that you would die for him just like he would for you. But as he stares at you and the Lord of Stormâs End dancing in the middle of the feast with your hand in his, holding so tightly onto the manâs hand like he is your Lord husband not the princeâ Aerionâs fury is palpable across the great hall. His fits shake, jaw tightly wound and nose flaring as his anger turns his blood hotter.
Your face is too close to Lyonelâs lips, his breath mingling with yours, his words rumbling in his chest that you could feel reverberate through your body when youâre chest to chest with him. Aerion watches you fall into step with him, a synergy that he thought you and him only ever have.
âAerionâŠâ his uncle Rhaegel calls for him from the feast table, right beside him is your Arryn aunt as she fails to hide the fear flickering in her eyes. She knows. âThe falcon and the stag found each other again, didnât they?â Rhaegal, sweet simple uncle Rhaegel has even noticed you and Lyonel, looking as if you two belong in each otherâs arms. As if it was supposed to be from the start. âThe falcon should soarâŠâ he mumbles, picking at the frayed stitches of his doublet. âDragon blood does not mix well with birdsâŠthe falconâs talons are too long, too sharp, even for themselves.â
âRhaegel, my love.â The chair under your aunt scrapes loudly as she vaults from her seat, tugging at her husbandâs arm. âLet us not frighten our nephew.â
âI am not frightened, dear aunt.â Aerion spits the words out, fists trembling at his side. His wine goblet long abandoned on the table as he stares daggers at his aunt and uncle.
Words hurled at him donât usually hit him, he has heard worse in his life being a second son of a fourth son. Nothing to inherit, styled to be a spare, a brother to a drunkard, a son to a dead mother, and a father who only looks at him when he has done him a dishonour despite everything he tries to do to bring honour to their branch of the family. He married you for that reason, youâre from a house that is as ancient as his own, an honourable house that has their own great keep and has borne dozens of great warriors. It was for duty, marrying you, he meant to tolerate you, to share your bed whenever he pleases and leave right after. To visit your chambers when duty calls to try for an heir. But you intrigued him, you talked back, you bit back and drew blood. You tamed a dragon, you who is merely a falcon, but you used your talons on him, you learned how to scratch and bite where he wanted, where he needed. His duty became a want, a want to be with you, to share your warmth. And then it became a need, he needed to be beside you, to be inside you, to hold you, to caress you, to hear your breathless gasps underneath him and to see you smile, and for you to seek him out in every crowded room.
He needs you like how a man needs air.
And yet, your eyes gazes into those dark stormy pools of the stormlord like you need him. Like he is the one you married not the man who stands beside his grandsireâs table like a lovelorn fool. He is a prince of the blood, he is the blood of the dragon, a descendant of great warriors and dragon riders. And his heart breaks for a falcon amidst the feast.
Your tender eyes shine underneath the candle lights, palm brushing along Lyonelâs cheek with longing. Aerionâs feet moves before he could think. His strides are long and quick, a man honed in on the pair in the middle of the dancing crowd as he pushes people out of the way. Some part for him when they see the intense look on his face, most scramble with their heads down the moment they hear his loud footfalls, already familiar with the sound that reverberates through the Red Keep.
âMy, you two are awfully close.â Aerion keeps his wits beside him, he is furious, and he wants to unsheathe his dagger and plunge the blade right into Lyonelâs neck. But that would start a war, and he is surrounded by the stagâs bannermen, he would be ripped to shreds by the stormlanders before he could have the pleasure of seeing Lyonelâs blood trickle out of his opened flesh. His hand rests upon the handle of his dagger, brow raised, trying to act casual despite his hot red rage thumping inside his ribcage. His eyes are still locked on the contact between Lyonelâs fingers and your skin and you are awfully aware of that fact. âThere are other people around, Baratheon. Comport yourself.â
âAerion.â You startle, fingers unfurling around Lyonelâs hand that he refuses to completely let go as he still holds onto your fingers. âWeâreâŠâ you clear your throat, trying to coax a smile out of you as you feel the heavy tension between the two men that are staring at each other like two hunters between the only doe in the whole godswood. âWeâre just dancing. This isââ
âI know who he is, my love. Heâs in my keep.â His purple eyes keep glancing at Lyonelâs hand that still grasps onto you. He hasnât raised his voice, and itâs much more terrifying than a yell from his throat. âAnd he is holding onto my wife.â
Lyonel has the audacity to smile, a smile that annoys the prince to no end. He has only seen glimpses of the Laughing Storm during the Ashford tourney, but his loud boisterous laugh can always be heard throughout the meadow. Aerion wants to cut out that laugh right from his throat.
âAll in good fun, my prince.â Lyonel utters his title with hidden disdain, as his hands let go of you, now put up beside his head in mock surrender. âWe were talking about the tourney where we met, did we not, my sweet?â
âMy sweet,â Aerion would cut a lowly man for that if they had spoken to you in that very same manner, in that same tender tone and sweetened gaze. But Lyonel isnât some stable boy or a hedge knight, he is a Lord paramount, a warrior just like himself.
You gulp down the lump in your throat, eyes flicking between the two men. âThat we did.â Lyonel stands a foot taller than Aerion, but if looks could kill, Lyonel wouldâve keeled over by now. Their egos clash like lightning against flames. âWe were reconnecting, husband, you need not worry.â
Aerionâs steely gaze doesnât leave the older manâs face. âCome, my love, you look tired.â His eyes turn to you, snatching your hand, fingers immediately weaving around your own possessively. âYou must rest, remember what the maester said, hm?â
The prince could see Lyonelâs head tilt curiously from his words right in his peripheral.
Your brows furrow. âAnd what exactly did he say?â Chortling, you laugh easily, you are no stranger to Aerionâs teasing, nor his manipulation through his words. You just know that his next words would be vengeful but it would just bounce off of you like a pebble against armour like always.
âThat the babe, our babe in your belly,â his palm holds onto your stomach, his warmth ebbing from him, searing hot, trying to burn through your gown. ârequires you to sit and lay. Not to galavant around like an unmarried maiden.â
Blinking at him, your brows rise to your hairline, shock marring your face with a chuckle in your throat. âThe whatââ You expected him to spit venom at you and Lyonel, not this. Not an awful lie that gives you an answer to your indecision. Your husband just made it easier to decide.
âMy sincereâŠcongratulations.â Lyonel utters through his clenched teeth, monotone, reined in. His eyes turns to you, immediately softening. Aerion knows that lookâ pity. âI shall leave you be, princess, you must rest. AndâŠâ he steps closer, a thumb right on your wrist as you two share a look that Aerion isnât privy to but wishes he was. âRemember what I told you, hm?â Taking your hand in his, he presses a kiss on your knuckles as his gaze never leaves yours. âMy Lady Arryn.â
âMy Lord BaratheonâŠâ you answer breathlessly. Watching him leave and disappear into the crowd, taking the remaining air along with him.
My, the simple word shouldnât get to the prince, it shouldnât bash right at his chest and break his ribcage into pieces. But it has, youâve taken his heart in your fist and threw it on the ground, stomping right on it even when it still sings your name. He should be yours and you should be his. But that word, âmy Lord Baratheon,â Aerion thinks you were never his to begin with. That you are a stagâs doe, not a dragonâs wife.
Aerionâs heart is shattered by his feet, he wants to take the sharp shards and cut you and himself so you would know the exact pain of seeing you look at someone else with love. He should be the only recipient of that, not some storm Lord that you happen to chance upon before you met him. He will take you to the grave with him if thatâs what it takes.
âCome.â Tugging you away, taking your attention away from Lyonel, he leads you outside and into the dim gardens. Your heels clack against the stone, trying to catch up to his longer strides.
The weirwood tree stands tall before him, the wood is stark white, leaves as red as blood as the carved face bleeds crimson onto its bark. Crickets sing, fireflies light the way and the flowers are in full bloom just the way you like it. He knows you love the godswood for its flowers, and sometimes he would join you in your strolls or he would lay upon your lap as you read beside flower bushes, tucked in between the flowers, looking like the maiden of his dreams. But you seem to have come out of his nightmare as you let go of his hand like he burned you with his touch.
âWhat is wrong with you, Aerion?â You stand underneath the moonlight in his Targaryen colours, looking at him with disgust, not with love. âYou embarrassed me, you embarrassed yourself! I have told you, I am not with childâ!â
His blade is suddenly in his hand, the sound of it unsheathing stops you in your tracks as he stares at the dagger.
âAre you going to fucking kill me?â You say it calmly, too calmly, as if you have anticipated it long ago. âTry me, Aerion, you know I could hold out my own.â Dress hitched up to your thigh, you show him your own blade tucked into your garter. âI might get that sparring match Iâve always wanted.â
âDo you think of me so cruel that I would hurt you?â His purple eyes are darker here, not even the moonlight could illuminate it. The lingering adrenaline from a fight he didnât get to have swirls in his belly like wildfire. âThat I could kill you? My own wife?â
âYou are capable of it.â You spit out with venom on your tongue. âIâve seen it, Aerion, the cruelty you hide behind those eyes. The cruelty you hide from your father, from your uncles and grandsire. I saw it,â you nod, teeth bared at him. âI saw it when you dismissed Juniper and Andros, I saw it when you broke that poor stable boyâs arm for looking at me too long. I saw it when you plunged a blade into a merchantâs hand when his palm brushed along my own innocently.â Your tone shakes, but you donât waver. âI saw it during our coupling, the first one on our wedding night. I do not doubt that you are capable of killing your own wife.â
âI could not,â his voice is awfully tender. âThis is for him.â Dagger raised, he points at the great hall through the closed doors. âI will cut him, I shall cut him for how he touched youââ
âGods be good! We were dancing!â Heaving, you step closer, dress still hitched up in case he strikes. âYou would know where the hands would be if you actually danced with me!â
âWould you prefer if I danced with you?â Thereâs a child-like wonder in his tone, as if he discovered something new. As if dancing with you will fix everything.
âGods!â Groaning against your hand, you stomp towards the weirwood, hand braced on its trunk as you slouch beside it, eyes tightly closed, repressing the want to stab him in the abdomen. âYou are far too late for that, Aerion.â
âNo, Iâm not.â The dagger dangles in between his fingers by his side, his intense gaze burns a hole through the skirt of your gown. âWeâve been married a year, we could stillââ
âWhat brought this on?â You whirl in his direction, exasperated. âIs this about our conversation before? That I might be barren?â You stop him from answering with a hand up as you continue. âAerion, if you want a child so badly then annul our marriage. It is obvious that it will not bear fruit, nor will it ever be. Marry someone else, someone who could give you children.â
âBut I do not want someone else!â Blade raised, he closes the distance over to you as you take a step back, your back hitting the rough bark of the weirwood. He notices, and he immediately puts his dagger down. âI want you, is that so hard to believe?â
âYou do not love like everyone else, Aerion. So yes, it is hard to believe so.â
âAnd you know how itâs supposed to be? Like how you think the storm bastard loves you, hm?â He steps closer, making you back away further against the tree. âDoes he love you, Lady Arryn?â The title is said with disdain. âDo you love him? Is that it? How you know what love looks like. How it should be?â
âWe were dancing!â
âSo you say! Do not play me for a fool.â His sword calloused palm pushes your shoulder into the wood, nails digging in. âIâve seen your face while you were with him, and you do not look at me like that, your husband, someone who is supposed to be the object of your love.â
âDoes this look like love to you?â The words tumble out of your mouth, filled with cotton that suffocates your throat.
Aerion notices the position, his hand grasping onto your shoulder as if youâre going to fade, nails digging into the silk of your gown, pushing you harshly into the rough wood that will surely leave indents on the skin of your back.
He lets go, guilt marring his sharp features. âI⊠is it so awful to be with me?â Stepping back, he sheathes the dagger that drips with the red sap of the weirwood tree. He just now noticed that he sliced a part of it open out of his own anger. Heâs just glad it wasnât your flesh as the sap drips onto your fingers, staining your skin crimson.
âI do not love you as you love me, if that is the answer you are looking for.â
You donât wield a dagger in your hand and yet your words have the same effect of a blade striking him down, cutting his throat.
âI married you because I had no choice in the matter.â Voice softening, the sticky sap coats your hand, crimson dripping from your fingers. You are sure that Aerion has done some transgression against the old gods for what he did. âJust like you had. This is duty, Aerion, I have a duty to you, to my house, to my father. We tried, many times, and it still hasnât borne fruit. It may never happen.â
âIt will. Someday, it will. You will give me a dragon. And you will love me as I love you.â He says determinedly, taking a step forward as you donât back down this time around, continuing to stare him down. âI could wait, I can wait.â
âYou canât,â you walk closer, a hand reaching for his cheek. âI know you, Aerion, you are impatient.â He leans against your warmth, heat seeking, breathing you in. You smell more like the weirwood than yourself, like the earth he will soon return to if you leave him. âThis love of yours will wane, and you will discard me once I am old and withered, once no one else will take me.â
âIt wonât.â Shaking his head, he holds onto your waist, trying to keep you from walking away. âIt wonât wane.â
Your eyes soften, a small smile appearing on your moonlit face. âIf you truly love me annul our marriage. Let me go.â
âSo you could marry him?â His once soft purple eyes turn heavy and narrowed.
âYes.â You answer without delay.
Aerion flinches and pulls away from you. âThen I should kill him.â
âYouâll lose.â Youâre so sure of yourself as your hands tucks in front of you, the sap sticking to your reddened palms. âYouâre a great fighter, but Lyonel is better. He will kill you.â
âThen I shall kill you instead.â
âYouâll only be proving me right, husband.â You donât move to retrieve your dagger, staring him down over your nose as you stand there rooted like the weirwood. âI am right here.â Arms raised to your sides, you taunt him underneath the moonlight. âBut Iâll maim you before I draw my last breath. I will kick and scream and draw my blade against you and cut off your manhood so you will never have your precious dragon.â
Heaving, teeth grating, Aerionâs whole body trembles with rolling fury. He stares at you with disbelief and hurt, before twisting around and going further into the gardens and out of the walled keep lest he takes his dagger and plunges it right into your heart.
â
Aerion doesnât know how long he has been walking around the woods, but the grass around him has turned thick and tall, brushing along his hips as he trudges around aimlessly. The dappled moonlight through the tree branches lights his way, and the incessant chirping of crickets irks him. But heâd rather not be back in the castle, moreso in the shared chambers where you would be, where your scent lingers in every crevice of the room.
He is afraid of losing you, of accidentally taking his dagger to your neck and slicing you open. He cannot risk the possibility of harming you, the thought alone turns his insides sour. He is afraid that you are right, that he is capable of killing you. His love for you may not be as pure and saccharine as Lyonelâs love for you, but it is love. His love, so why isnât that enough for you?
The scent of incense wafts in his nose, akin to the heady scent from the Sept, an earthy smoke that billows a few ways ahead from his right as it wisps into the chilly night air. Aerionâs chest flares with the buried fury, he wants to hurt, to cut something, to cut someone just to let it all out and come back home to you calmly, ready to settle beside your warmth in the shared bed.
His footfalls crunches underneath dry leaves as he crosses the distance, dagger in hand, cutting down the vines in his way. Then he spots it, a tiny cottage no bigger than a carriage, old and dilapidated, lopsided and tilting on its side, threatening to keel over right on the moss covered ground.
The scent is stronger now that he is closer, there is a ring of mushrooms growing around the area, small brown caps all lined in a circle, as if shielding the cottage.
Aerionâs eyes narrows at the door, violence calls for him, whoever is through that door will be the recipient of his fury rather than you or the stormlord.
He steps over the mushrooms and continues to stalk towards the door quietly like a hunter. The door swings open before he could touch it, welcoming him gladly into the threshold.
Aerion enters, dagger clutched near his chest, letting his anger lead him inside.
The walls are covered in dried bundled herbs and animal furs, its scent is potent and lingers in the back of his throat. Itâs all old wood, damp and bloated that is barely holding the whole structure. Thereâs a bubbling iron cauldron in the middle of the room, its contents is bright green, akin to wildfire as it warms the whole cottage. Except for a chair and a shelf littered with various vials, itâs sparsely decorated. Aerionâs nose scrunches with disgust.
âWeâve been expecting you, my prince.â A voice echoes from behind as the door closes with a creak.
Aerion whirls around, chest heaving as he points the sharp end of the dagger at a woman draped in darkness. âYou are far too close to the castle, you trespass in our woods, witch.â
She smiles crookedly, the moonlight shining on half of her face. âOr is it you who trespass onto our land, Targaryen?â
Scoffing, the prince smiles, not unlike the smile he gives you, but a wicked one, a dangerous one. âItâs unfortunate that I ran into you, wretch.â
He raises his dagger, striking right at her but he hits nothing but air.
Aerion looks at the clean blade curiously when it's supposed to be coated with thick warm crimson. âWhatâ?â
âYou do not want that, Aerion.â For a moment she sounded like you, he expected to see you when he turns around on his heel but he sees the woods witch instead, still cloaked in darkness. âTell me, you wish for something. I know you do, men always want.â
âI do not want anything.â He utters through clenched teeth.
âYes, you do. Why do you lie to yourself?â
âIf I do, no one in the realm can grant it, except for this.â He throws the dagger right at her, hitting her dead in her chest, right in the heart. Aerion smirks victoriously, but she doesnât bleed nor keel over, she stands there, as still as a rock. âWhat in the seven hellsââ
âThe seven arenât here.â She mutters, taking the blade from her heart with a squelch of flesh. She twists it around her palm, handing it back to him casually. âTell me what you want.â
He swallows thickly, staring right at her, never letting his eyes wander away from the witch. âWhy arenât you dead?â
âWhy arenât you in Lys when you should be? Why isnât the falcon with the stag when they should be together? Why does the hammer still stand tall and breathe when he isnât supposed to be?â
âStop speaking in riddles, witch.â
âTake the dagger.â Her words are spoken through different voices, simultaneously uttering it.
His eyes glances at the blade with hidden trepidation. Aerion reaches for his dagger as it dangles from her fingertips above the bubbling cauldron. He takes it, the blade slicing her palm open as blood drips onto the pot, mixing with the emerald waters. She bleeds, Aerion knows that she is human, or at least when she wants to be.
âWho are you?â He asks, dagger in hand, looking at the clean blade when itâs supposed to be bloodied.
âI am no one, but you are someone.â She mumbles, swiping a thumb over her opened palm. âI shall grant you your wish if you grant me mine.â
Aerion scoffs loudly, a laugh from the deepest depths of his chest. âI? I grant you your wish? A prince does not give out charity.â
âItâs an equivalent exchange.â Her tone lilts playfully. âEspecially if it means that your wife would love you as you love her.â
Her words give him pause, the crooked smile faltering. âWhat do you mean?â
âIf you give me a drop of your own blood, your kingâs blood, I shall grant you the love you deserve.â She steps forward into the light, she looks old and young at the same time, her face shifting with every bubble popping from the cauldron. Her long raven hair drapes around her, the ends brushing along the ground as she moves.
âYou are mad.â
âNot as mad as you, Brightflame.â Her hand extends forward, itâs wrinkled and old above the pot. âJust a drop of blood for the love you want. She will be yours, and you will be hers. Most of all, she will give you a dragon. Its wings will be mighty, soaring above the seven kingdoms, conquering the whole realm under your banner.â
He could just picture it, a trueborn prince, a mix of his Targaryen features and yours, a result of his love for you, a great warrior that he can mold into a vision of himself. His son will be as mighty as Aegon the conqueror himself. And then thereâs you, your eyes will never wander ever again, your hands will forever hold him tenderly, and you would love him, your husband for forever and a day. Just like how it is supposed to be.
Aerion holds his head up high, chest puffed as he looks at the strange woman over his nose. âWhat do I need to do?â
âBlood for the old gods.â She smiles wickedly, her fingers stretching, reaching out for his own. âJust a drop will do, a drop and all your wishes will come true.â Aerion places his palm above the womanâs hand. âWonât that be nice, Aerion?â Your voice can be heard from her lips again, heâs taken aback when he hears it as clear as day. Before he could take his hand away, the witch seizes his wrist, pricks his finger with her nail and lets his blood drip onto the cauldron. It turns blood red immediately. âWe thank you for the equivalent exchange.â
Aerion snatches his hand away, staring at the small bead of blood right on his forefinger. âWhat now? Is it done?â
âNo, not yet.â Her tone returns, and she procures a small twig from her pockets. âSay your wish and snap the weirwood in two.â
âWhat?â He scoffs out a laugh. âI am not an idiot.â
Huffing, she sucks in her teeth. âTake it or donât. It doesnât matter to me when you have already given me your blood.â
Aerion licks his lips and takes the twig. âThis better work or I will come back here and turn your home into a pile of ashes.â
âIt will work.â She sounds certain. âGo to your Lady love before itâs too late.â
âWhat do you mean?â The wood feels rough against his palm.
Her eyes crinkled in the corners, grinning at him crookedly. âThe stag has his sights on your falcon.â
That raging fury finds its way into Aerionâs heart again. âThat fucking bastard!â He kicks the door open as he stomps away, the cottage and the scent fading from behind.
When he looks over his shoulder to see it, itâs gone, vanished, as if it was never there. The twig sits heavier in his pocket with every footstep.
â
Aerion could just tell it was you whispering in the corridors. He could always tell with you, from the sound of your footsteps to the smell of your perfume, he knows itâs you.
He lurks behind the corner, listening to you whisper to your handmaiden. He hears a few sparse words, âhourâ, âcannot tarry,â âcloak,â and that bastardâs name, said in your sweetened tone that he thought was only reserved just for him.
Aerion was thinking of you the whole trek back to the keep. He thought of not breaking the wood in half when he is certain that you still love him, when heâs still the only one in your heart. That maybe, just maybe, heâs just seeing things, that his jealousy was just that, jealousy. That you really were just dancing with him, that you still love your husband with your whole heart. But now as he listens to you plot your escape with the Lord of Stormâs End, he takes the wood from his pocket and holds it with two hands.
âI wish that my wife loves me more than anyone else in the whole realm.â Aerion mutters in the dark, snapping the twig in half.
Youâre suddenly silent, the whispering ceases.
âMâlady?â The handmaiden calls you in a hushed tone, asking if you are well.
Aerion could hear you tell her that you are quite alright despite the maidâs protests. The conversation ends when the chamber doors shut with a click.
Footfalls echo from the handmaiden as she leaves with more thoughts than before, and Aerion slips from the darkness, glaring at the girlâs back before heading inside.
He shuts the door closed behind him quietly, and he sees you standing there cloaked in the darkness of the shared chambers, as still as a fallen tree, as quiet as a mouse. The hearth is dead, cold with the entire room freezing.
Aerion says your name as your eyes glimmer. âAre you feeling well?â
He sees the outline of your smile. âWhy wouldnât I be, my love?â
âArenât you cold?â His breath hitches in his throat, eyes never leaving your form.
âNo, now that youâre here Iâm warm.â Your arms open for him. âCome, I need you, husband.â
âDonât you love Lyonel?â He tests you, jaw tight as his hands flexes at his sides.
A beat passes, a breath, a mere eerie second as you stand there idly.
Aerion watches you closely, like a bug he found underneath a stone.
You step forward, or more like slide your foot on the carpet, sliding one foot next to the other, shuffling closer to him as the sound of scraping feet against fabric echoes in the chamber.
Your bare feet kisses the tip of his boots, and he could finally see your face draped in the dark, your silhouette unmistakable even in the dim light, eyes shining like two diamonds in your eye sockets.
âWhy would I love a mere stag when Iâve got a dragon all to myself?â
It worked, or he is truly mad to think that it worked. Mayhaps you snapped back to reality, back to your old self as you cradle his cheek in your palm that still smells like the acrid weirwood sap. The tips of your fingers are still stained red as your thumb traces along his jawline tenderly. Aerion rests against your hold, heart beating rapidly.
âYou smell good.â You utter, closing the distance, pressing your nose against the hinge of his jaw and just breathe. You breathe him in, inhaling his scent as your nose grazes his skin. âGods, you feel good.â
âI need to see you in the light.â He whispers against the shell of your ear, hands cupping your hips in an almost bruising hold. âDo you love me?â
âMore than anyone in the whole realm.â
His heart quickens at your confession.
You take his earlobe in between your teeth and nibble, the sensation running through him as he gasps and takes the back of your knees, holding you up as you wrap your legs around him. He carries you over to the plush bed, and drops you off onto the mattress. Your legs are immediately hooked around him, pulling him in between your thighs. The moonlight shines on you, and Aerion sees the love in your eyes, love that is aimed at him, and only him.
Aerion falls atop you, hands braced on the side of your head. âGodsâŠâ it worked.
âLet me give you a dragon, my love. Please let me carry our own prince.â You plead, pawing at his doublet, trying to untie the laces in your trembling fingers.
He seizes your fumbling wrist as he pants over you, eyes blown, lips agape. âPromise me you wonât leave me.â
Your brows furrows, head tilted like you just saw a kitten wandering around the keep, cooing at him as you take his face in your hands. âI will never leave you. You are my great love, Aerion.â
A relieved smile appears on his face. âThat is all I needed to hear.â
â
The sun basks around the chamber, illuminating your sleeping face as Aerion draws Valyrian runes on your arm, over the silk of your chemise. Youâre wrapped around him, legs over his own, arms embracing him like youâre trying to meld together with your husband. You sleep soundly, eyes moving underneath your eyelids as he watches you with love in his tender eyes.
This is all he wanted.
The birds chirp outside amidst the sound of hooves in the courtyard and of men and women waking up throughout the Red Keep.
His index draws the Valyrian rune for love upon your skin, then a rune for protection and a rune for fertility. You awaken at the last rune, eyes fluttering open, immediately smiling at him.
âGood morrow, husband.â Your knuckles dance along his bare chest, caressing lovingly.
âWife, you fell asleep whilst I was undressing.â He mirrors your smile.
âMy apologies, the night caught up to me I suppose.â Lifting yourself up by your elbows, you move to straddle him, hands braced atop his chest. âBut Iâm well rested nowââ Your face goes completely still. Eyes flicking from his face, to the bed, then over to the rising sun outside the window. âWhat the fuck!â Flinching, you fall from the bed, frantically getting up, crawling away from him with fear in your eyes. âHowâ what?!â You scream in horror. Heaving, eyes watering, lips wobbling as you stare at him with confusion. âWhat did you do to me?!â
âWhat happened?!â Aerion has his hands up, trying to calm you down. âMy love, are you alright?â
âYou fuckingââ you were about to lunge at him before you went still again, comporting yourself as the smile returns. The look of sheer terror gone in a blink. âOh, do you want to break fast?â
âWhat in the seven hells was that?!â Aerion marches over to you, gripping onto your shoulders. âWhat happened?â
âIâm sorry,â youâre doing that face again, that pitying look, that sorry, frowning look that makes you look less like you. âI thought I was still dreaming. I had a nightmare.â Hand on his cheek, you hold him. âDid I scare you? Iâm sorry, oh, Iâm so sorry, my love.â Cheek pressed against the crook of his neck, you embrace him tightly.
Aerionâs hands hover over you before returning the embrace. âItâs alright, you were confused, it was just confusion.â
âForgive me.â You mutter against his skin, right on the hinge of his jaw. âWill you ever forgive me, my prince?â
âOf course, always.â Pecking your temple, he lets his kiss linger.
â
Aerion watches you reject Lyonel right in the courtyard. Heâs leaning against the balcony, smirking to himself.
The Baratheon sigil flutters against the wind, the caravan is about to depart for Stormâs End, and their liege Lord is trying to coax you into coming with him. Aerion could only laugh at himself when you slap Lyonelâs hand away with a disgusted grimace. He sees the exact moment you break his heart.
He could only hear snippets of the conversation, Lyonel is confused, asking what happened to you, why all of a sudden you did not want him, why you are suddenly so fixated on the prince rather than on him. Aerion was right, you were trying to leave with the laughing storm, to become his Lady wife instead of a princess. He made the wish just in time, he made the right call.
âI canât.â Youâre shaking your head at Lyonel, turning your back on him. âGoodbye, Lord Baratheon.â
Aerion knows that look on his face, it was the same look he had when he saw you dance with Lyonel, and now he is feeling the same heartbreak he caused himself.
Hitching your dress up, you walk up the steps to the balcony whilst Lyonel turns his attention away from you over to Aerion. His ire, his fury is aimed right at him. He knows, the man knows he has done something to you. Did his love for you run that thick for him to question why you suddenly had a change of heart?
âMy love,â you call for him, a hand upon his bicep. âShall we go?â
âI thought you needed to do something important?â He teases, testing the waters.
âNothing is important here anymore.â You give him a smile and a peck to his shoulder. âCome, our bed awaits us.â
â
A moon has passed and your love hasnât waned, not even a little as he always wakes up to you peppering his face with kisses. The wish or what Aerion thinks is a spell is working well in his favour. You have never left his side, even during training at the yard where youâd be sitting atop a crate, watching him train with a sword whilst you smile at him the whole time. And in the shared chambers you never protested when he would lie on your lap with your fingers raking through his hair. It was those slow languid mornings he savoured every minute of.
You are completely spellbound.
Aerion would think that your increased presence would become vexing but it hasnât, heâs enjoying every minute of your unbridled attention. He relished in it, your kisses, your touch, every saccharine words whispered in his ear as you gasped breathlessly atop him whilst during marital duties that isnât a duty any longer, it has become a need for you as much as he wanted it too.
He should grant the witch a plot of land for what she has done for him. Especially when it did not take time for the seed to sprout, the maester announced your quickening on a warm sunny day, a day he will never forget. He could still feel the elation he felt from the news, and he could picture in his mind how a smile split your face open, jumping to hold him.
The news brought on great tidings from his family and from the nobles of the court. All except for a certain Lord in the Stormlands, whom he has heard isnât doing quite well with the news. When he told you of the whispers about Lyonel, your face stilled in that eerie way he hates. A tear slid down your face before returning back to your smiling self, as if nothing happened, the only indication was the tears trapped inside your eyes as you told him that you did not care for him at all.
Gifts were brought to the shared chambers every day, from blankets embroidered with both Arryn and Targaryen sigils, to silver rattles and carved wooden dragons, the babe was already spoiled before he could come out of your womb. Aerion even gifted you a golden necklace with two dragons dancing together on a heart shaped pendant. You hugged him so tightly that you took the air right from his lungs, refusing to let him go that he had to push you away. You did that deep frown right after, walking backwards into the corner of the room unnervingly, heaving angrily at him until he had to placate you sweetly.
Youâre always holding onto your stomach, if not there then around Aerionâs arm or hand. The maester examines you every night per the princeâs instructions, and he had said time and time again that you and the babe were fine. But despite that, Aerion has gone increasingly paranoid, that someone is going to take you, that something will happen to the babe. That Lyonel would take you in your sleep and proclaim you his.
You would always calm him down, holding him beside you as you grasp at his hand that rests atop your blossoming stomach. You have told him that you cannot wait to see him, to hold your son in your arms and to find out if he resembles a dragon or more of a falcon. Aerion is the same, he wants to meet the conqueror reborn. But the excitement for you is much more intense, on some days he would see you standing in front of the looking glass, caressing your stomach, eyes unmoving on the reflection.
You were never left alone for too long, there was once that Aerion had to leave for the whole day to attend to some river Lord he did not care for. You pleaded to join him, but in the end he had to placate you with a kiss and a promise to return as quick as possible. When he returned to the chambers, he saw you standing in the same place, still in your nightgown, and smelt like Flea Bottom. You were standing atop your own excrement, and Aerion felt like the wind got knocked out of him when he saw the state you were in. He had to call for the servants and berate them for leaving you like that whilst he scrubbed you in the tub. All they had to say was that you did not want to leave because he had asked you to stay where you were. And that you had screamed at them like you were being cleaved in half.
More moons go by and you grow increasingly odd, especially after your fourth moon of carrying his son. You grew antsy and impatient as your belly ballooned, always citing that you want to meet your son, you are far too eager to meet him. Too intense that it's frightening to see you with a knife. Aerion would calm you, telling you softly that the babe needs time to grow strong. The maester called it a womanâs sickness that most expecting mothers went through, and that it is normal and would soon wane when the child is born. But Aerion knows better, he knows that you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying at your belly, yelling at him, asking him what he has done to you before your face stills again, smiling, acting like nothing happened.
You never left the room, you always stared at the fire like your insides were freezing. You had your moments, the sudden stillness, the sudden weeping and crying out to be let go when you are free to roam around the keep. As quick as it came, that oddness faded, and youâre back to kissing him and sharing his bed. Those moments outweighed the oddities, especially when you would always go back to loving him, to being his beloved wife.
Aerion is happy, this is all he ever wanted. Or so he keeps telling himself every time you wake with a scream and cursing his name.
On the night of your sixth moon carrying his son, he wakes up to a squelch of tearing flesh and blood. Your side of the bed is empty, your perfume lingering on the pillow.
The room is warm, too warm, scorching hot as he sweats through the blankets. Your name falls from his lips, calling for you in increasing volume and panic.
Then he hears it amidst the roar of the fireplace and cracking woodâ a hum, a song that he taught you to sing to the babe in your belly, an old Valyrian lullaby.
âMy love?â Flinging the blankets away, he walks closer to you as you sit in front of the fireplace, your silhouette is unmistakable whilst you sway to the song youâre humming. Your thin chemise sticks to your sweaty skin, hair mused. âWhatâ?â He smells it, it wafts in the air like your perfumeâ blood. Dread gnaws at his insides. Going around the settee, he steps onto a puddle, crimson sticks at the bottom of his bare feet, your own blood flowing from underneath you, pooled around you.
Aerion has never felt fear like this before.
The crooning stops abruptly, body stilling completely. âI couldnât wait to meet him.â
âWhat have you done?â His voice trembles around the edges.
Your head turns slowly to him, face illuminated by the flames, arms cradling a bundle of bloody blankets with dragons and falcons soaring together.
âOh, heâs beautiful, Aerion. Do you want to see him?â You smile weakly, trembling, colour drained. Twisting around on the carpet, tracking blood on the Targaryen fabric, you face him fully.
Aerion flinches away, back hitting the end of your vanity as he sees your belly cleaved open, insides pouring out and your own bloodied dagger laying beside your feet.
His vision blurs, eyes turning to the bundle as your trembling hand moves the blankets away to show him his son. His babe, his boy has scales instead of skin. Eyes completely shut, undeveloped on his face, wings half grown from his back, and a tail protruding from the small of his back, curved around his torso, melted across his scaly chest.
This is not his son.
âLook, heâs got your hair.â Your finger brushes along its head of silver. You laugh, a weak and awful laugh more akin to a death knell.
âWhatâ why did you do that?â Aerion lunges, hands grasping onto your cold shoulders in a bruising hold.
Your tearful eyes look into his purple terrified eyes. âI bore you a dragon.â
You didnât realise how long youâve following him until he stops walking. Heavy purpose footsteps slow and come to a stop, scuffing in a turn along the cool stone floor.
The corridor falls silent. So silent, the distant thrum of clattering plates and servants echo behind you from the lower quarters.
But itâs only you. You and the Prince.
He turns, sharp and pointed, like a blade sticking at war table and his eyes the piercing point that shoves into your heart. It makes you freeze.
Youâre standing at only three paces behind him. Your cheeks burn, violets reaching you through the dimly lit hall, sconces flickering onto your faces.
Neither of you says a word, but you feel the weight of it. The way heâs staring at you, waiting.
ââŠForgive me, my prince.â
You step back on instinct, bowing your head the way you have been taught to, the way you ought to the second he turned the corridor and you should have gone the other way. Ought to.
He waits still, never once removing his gaze, only clasping his hands at his front, the cloak of his doublet draping from his back. Somehow it makes him look greater, intimidating in a way you hadnât bothered to notice before. Until now.
âI thoughtâŠâ
You stop yourself. You donât know what you thought, not truthfully. It just seemed to happen. All of the corridors intertwine with one another, it was simply a matter of coincidence. Even though you neednât be out at this hour, nor tracing every pattern do his footstep to stay closely behindâ
Aerion studies you for a long moment, taking you in as you rock on your heel, the cloak hanging around your nightdress pulled on so impulsively. Thereâs satisfaction on his face from that, a distant smirk that doesnât meet his eyes, some sort of piece puzzling together.
One that you donât understand.
ââŠAre you quite well?â
All he asks. Not without caution, but not quite with effort either. Itâs calculating, reserving every emotion that crosses your face with consideration. His head tilts as he does it, urging you on, encouraging, testing.
But the words donât come. For a moment it seems youâve even forgotten where you are.
And the question comes again with a, âAre you or not?â Harder this time, quicker on his tongue.
But you canât answer, because arenât even sure about that. Only the faint buzzing in your fingertips and heart quickening inside of your chest, and the thing you do know, by some tell.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming