#obm leviathan

"I'm sorry Mc, I should've asked before pulling your sleeve up. May I see it again so I can patch you up?"

Mc didn't look back up at Lucifer. They took a moment, but eventually held up their arms for Lucifer to care for. Lucifer had them sit down and grabbed a first aide kit. Mc flinched when they felt hydrogen peroxide sting away at their self inflicted injuries. They let out a shaky breath as Lucifer knelt before them, tightly wrapping their arms in bandages.

"Are you mad at me?"

Lucifer paused and looked at Mc like they slapped him "No, not for this. I could never be mad at you for this. I'm mad at myself for not paying more attention, so you'll stay with me this week so I can keep track of how well you heal."

"Are you gonna tell the others."

"I'll tell them to keep a closer eye on you, the matter of your scars is yours to share."

Mc finally looked up at Lucifer and he could see how tired they were. He finished wrapping their arms and kissed along the bandages like that would fix everything. It didn't, but it made Mc feel better as Lucifer started gently questioning them.

"Mc, do you want to die?"

"I don't know."

Lucifer held Mc's hands to his face "I'm afraid I don't understand Mc."

Mc sniffled and finally allowed themselves to cry "I don't understand either. I don't want to exist at all but dying feels like a lot."

Lucifer reached up and held their cheek while still holding one of their hands in his free one "I like that you exist, and my brothers do too. We all do Mc, so please stay. I know it's probably a lot more to ask of you, but we all like you alive."

"I know, it's just so much."

"Then how can I make it less?"

"I don't know that either."

Lucifer kissed their wrist again "Then how about we drop a few classes at RAD. Some of the ones you're taking aren't required, it would give you less work and more time to recover. Would you like that?"

"Yeah." Mc hesitated before speaking again "and can I keep staying in your room, even after the week is over? I don't wanna be alone."

"Of course, but don't my brothers usually go in your room for the night?"

Mc looks away guilty before confessing another part of their true feelings "I don't always like them in there, it was supposed to be my space but it feels like it's everyone's."

Lucifer's lips pressed into a thin line. He could see how Mc would lack any space of their own in this house. Mc's pact mark started sizzling a little.

"You should kick them out. Be assertive, be confident."

"That would be rude."

Lucifer huffed "Then use my room. My door is always open for you and it's not like I'm using it. My only condition is that you try to stop hurting yourself."

Mc frowned and looked down at the bandages. It sounded simple but it felt impossible when pain felt necessary. Lucifer kissed both of Mc's cheeks to reassure them that they could stay. Mc hugged Lucifer and cries into his shoulder. He held them close to him like they were going to die if he let go, so he wasn't going to. Tomorrow when he wakes up he'll ensure Mc is alive beside him, even if they aren't ready to live yet he can wait.

Mammon had a habit of barging in. Usually it was frowned upon and he felt guilty but not today. Today he wished he'd entered sooner, before Mc had started their process. He stared at their wrists for a few seconds, his eyes trailing along their scars both old and new. The knife in their shaky hands may have been the worst part. Mammon hated to see them hurt so once the shock wore off he ran straight to them and ate the knife, the fact he could crush the blade in his jaw was a good reminder he was a demon.

"Mc what did ya think ya were doing?"

Mc had a moment of pause considering they just watched their man eat a knife but soon came to their senses.

"W-Well I-..."

Mammon took Mc's forearm and hugged it with a pout before getting the first aide kit. He could wait for their answer while he handled their arm. Mc watched him as they tried to think of why, why they wanted to go. Their mind couldn't fathom a response in between the idea that Mammon was mad at them, which was soon disproved.

"I'm not mad, just wondering why? humans are fragile aren't ya?"

"Well yeah, we're easy to hurt. How did you know I was worried you were mad?

"I'm yet first man of course, I can read yer face and see what yer thinking. And I couldn't be mad about this, I am mad at whatever made ya do this."

"It's a habit I picked up to cope with, a lot of things. It's kinda hard to lose and easy to fall back on."

"A lotta things?"

"Mhm, my emotions can get very big until it feels like I'm drowning."

"then let me fight them."

Mc shook their head "that's not how it works Mammon, you can't beat up depression."

"Of course not, he'll be too much of a coward to show up when the great Mammon's around!"

Mc started to laugh at Mammon's silly idea. Mammon only smiled, because their silly idea made Mc laugh so clearly it was working. Mammon finished up with the bandages and grabbed markers from the pile of stuff he kept in their room. Mc tilted their head as he uncapped a yellow one and wrote "Mammon's human" on their wrist before adding decorations.

"Ya know no one hurts what's mine right? And since you're my human n' all then you should stop hurting yourself."

"And if I don't know how?"

Mammon held on to the wrist he was drawing on with a rather tight grip "Well you can't hurt your wrists if I keep holding them!"

"You're going to have to let them go at some point, what if I need to go to the bathroom?"

"Then I go with you."

"Ha, no."

Mammon stopped and thought very hard about it, much harder than he probably should've "Then I'll tie a string around your wrists and hold and end of it while sitting outside. Genius right?"

Mc started giggling again and Mammon handed them a marker so they could join him in drawing on the bandages. Soon their arms were littered with little doodles like dreams of the stars, plants, and Mammon's name imprinted like his desire to keep them forever. Soon there was no more space left to colour in so Mammon threw the markers back in his corner. He had no intention of letting go of Mc's wrist so he bit them while using his hands to wrap the blanket around them both. Mc started giggling again at the ridiculous sight of Mammon holding their wrists in his mouth.

"You really don't have to hold my wrist the whole time when you need your hands silly."

Mammon tried talking around his wrist which made him see how silly it was to try. He let go and wrapped his arms around Mc since it still counted as holding them.

"Fine, I'll just hold all ya then."

"Ok. You staying tonight?"

"'course, can't leave ya alone for a second."

Mammon held on tight but Mc could feel him shaking. He really was holding them like they would disappear any minute, wondering if they really wanted to go or if they were just handling things the only way they knew how. Mc placed their hand on the back of his neck before playing with his hair. Mammon was going to stay tonight, in fact he stayed every night until he was sure they wanted to stay too, and much after that.

Leviathan knew he wasn't supposed to see it. He only got a peek but he could tell that it wasn't just a shadow under their sleeves nor a trick of the light. There truly were scars fresh on Mc's arms. An otaku like him wasn't equipped for this sort of thing but it wasn't something that should be left to fester. It was something to be handled delicately, however Leviathan was not that smart so he grabbed their wrist and ran away with them despite the fact they were talking to Asmo about something. Luckily for him, Asmo was just thought he was finally being confident.

Leviathan pulled Mc into his room after pulling them the whole way and tried to catch his breath. Mc stared at him in confusion but waited for him to catch his breath. Leviathan halted and tried to figure out what the hell he was doing, what if Mc didn't want to talk to a yucky o- Mc flinched when Leviathan suddenly slapped himself. His low opinion of himself didn't matter now so he pushed the words out before his mind drowned them again.

"Mc, can I see your wrists! I mean-"

Mc's face fell and they sighed before pulling up their sleeves with a look that seemed almost like disappointment in themselves. Leviathan jolted but held Mc's wrists gently to see them. Many were old, but there were plenty of fresh ones as well. Leviathan wasn't exactly sure what to do so he grabbed one of the aide kits kept in every room. Mc zoned out a little while Leviathan patched them up. Leviathan finished quickly in the tense silence. As he tied in the last bandage he held his head against their wrists, wishing he had noticed sooner.

"I'm sorry Mc."

Mc looked at Leviathan like he had grown a second head "Wha-"

"I should have noticed sooner! I don't ever want my only friend to disappear! Please stay!"

"Levi..."

Leviathan finally looked up showing that he was crying and Mc was too. The idea they would hurt themselves when humans were so fragile hurt Leviathan, and Mc just wasn't used to anyone caring. Mc sniffled and rested their head on Leviathan's shoulder. Normally he would have stiffened and objected so he wouldn't get his yuckiness on them, but now he hugged them back, which was still stiff but it got the feeling across.

The two stayed like that for a long while. Mc wanted to continue drinking in Leviathan's warm and his awkwardly loving hug. The silence felt like home when Mc had to live through one horrific adventure after another just trying to get by. They were exhausted and Leviathan wished he had seen as much.

"M-Mc, you can always come stay in my room instead of being by yourself. I-I really like it when you're around, and I have plenty of other things you can do instead."

Mc lifted their head so they could make eye contact "It's not that simple, stopping. When a human picks up a habit it will stick, and pain is something we often attach ourselves to."

"B-But I don't want you to be in pain."

Mc blinked back some tears and sniffled "You're so sweet it's hard to remember you're a demon."

"I'm really no- wait, don't change the subject. You're the one hurting here! I should help you, like how the Henry pulled the Lord of Shadow back into the battle when he had almost given up."

"But I'm tired of fighting Levi."

"Th-then I'll fight for you! You can stay here and we can fight your exhaustion with pillows, snacks, and magical girls, right?"

Mc smiled at him and rested their head back on his shoulder "Thank you. Maybe that'll work. How about Madoka magika?"

Leviathan couldn't help but look at them disappointedly "Mc, when I said magical girls I didn't mean sad ones."

"Oh? Did you finally get intimate with member of your debate club?" Lucifer's voice carries something dark and flat and just the sound of it makes you feel guilty for something that isn't true.

"They're not in debate, stupid. It was some math thing." Belphie doesn't even lift his head from his laid-out position.

"That doesn't sound right either... what little group did you join, hon? Something lame and nerdy, but I don't think it was math?" Even Asmo was being pointed and if you had to listen to one more of them jab at you for doing someone a favour, you might actually cry.

"Shut up, all of you." That seems to catch the group of them off guard, but you can at least see a bit of guilt in Mammon and Leviathan. Marching to the center of the room, you offer them all a glare before clearing up their dumb misconceptions. "First of all, I haven't joined any clubs. I've been staying after school as a favour to Diavolo and Barbatos." Satan looks like he might argue with that, but you point at him with a warning and he closes his mouth quickly. "Some fortune reading club was supposed to do a tournament, but it seems some members got sick. They needed numbers so I was thrown at them at the behest of your fucking prince." They all seem to deflate, their anger dissipating in lieu of the new information. "I have not been out 'having fun' or 'getting chummy' with anyone. I've been practicing my butt off just to lose a competition for R.A.D, and now everyone here is mad at me because you don't listen when I tell you what I've been up to?!" There are absolutely tears in your eyes and this isn't worth it anymore.

Turning on your heel, you trudge out of the sitting room towards yours. Everything was too much and you just wanted a shower and sleep. Originally, you'd wanted a hug and some head pats but seeing everyone had made you feel even worse. Not only did they not listen to any time you'd explained what you were doing, they also got mad at you for having fun with other people- as if there was any fun to your third, consecutive wrong prediction in front of an auditorium of demons, all sneering at your novice mistakes. Even the team had been disheartened, though they tried desperately to hide it from you. Standing in the shower, you mutter into your hands about not even wanting to have participated as you scrub your face clean. Today was awful and you weren't sure how you could face the fortune telling club again, let alone Diavolo and Barbatos.

Though you were always being shoved into ridiculous situations, you were always earnestly trying your best. Sometimes support was what you needed, sometimes it was tutoring, but you'd always managed to make your way through somehow. This time, without any net at all, you failed spectacularly and it just keeps playing in your head. No part of you enjoys losing, but more than that you had hoped for sympathy and consolation. Coming home to that atmosphere, none of them even bothering to show up to the event itself, it all hurt twice as much. Maybe if you'd seen even one of their faces in the crowd, you might have snuck out a miracle. Instead, you were using the shower to mask the sound of your soft hiccups, trying to get through the misery before you needed to step out of the bathroom.

Half an hour later, you manage to slump your way into sleep clothes and back to bed, only to find that there's a plate of cookies and a few notes on your neat blankets. Part of you wants to throw them to the ground and just go to sleep but you're a curious person and pick up the folded paper. As you'd expected, it's a series of apologies from the brothers. They all take turns repenting in their own ways and you feel that familiar guilt in your chest that makes you want to forgive them immediately, but you hold strong all the same. Moving the plate to the table, you re-read the papers and then crawl underneath your blankets. With the lights off, you try to focus on nothing, letting your mind wander as you hope for sleep to take you.

It's because the room is dark and you're trying to free your mind that you notice the sliver of light across your wall instantly. The tell-tale sign of someone cracking your door open and peeking in. If the light didn't alert you to their presence, then their inevitable squabbling takes over until they're not even pretending to whisper anymore. When you can hear every word and everyone clearly, you roll over to face the door, an unimpressed frown on your tired features.

"Hey." It's a warning and seems to catch a few of them off guard. They all immediately hush and the door creaks open to reveal the lot of them crowding it. Clearly, they were hoping you'd be willing to talk to them again, after their peace offering, but you're tired and hurt and just want to sleep. Still, that annoying pull in your chest forces you to sit up and you let them in despite the weight in your bones.

At once, they clamber to you, like children lost without the direction of a parent. You pet heads and accept apologies, but it all feels thin until Beelzebub lifts you into a huge bear hug and buries his face into your shoulder. There's a quiet that spills over everyone and when he speaks, you feel the rumble of his deep voice against your back. "I'm sorry. We all missed you when you started coming home late. It wasn't fair that we didn't listen to what you said and assumed the worst." Another apology, but something about this one flicks a switch and you feel yourself tear up again. It seems to set them off again, and instead of holding back your upset, you let it play out in front of them.