#nvexe

“And why not?” Miu asked, suddenly serious. “Hanahaki’s serious shit. In humans, we either have our feelings returned and it goes away or… look, I dunno what the alternatives are gonna be in your case, but I fucking doubt they’ll be pretty. You either end up dead as a coked-out prostitute in Vegas or left with all your emotions and memories wiped ‘bout your crush.” She hoisted herself onto the bench next to Kiibo. “Back when I was in the hospital, I saw the latter and… it’s bad. Like, can’t-even-move-after-being-pounded-in-the-ass-for-twelve-hours bad.” 

Kiibo looked at her strangely. “That’s… very specific.” His shoulders slumped as he crossed his arms over his chest. “In any case, I’ve already lost my memories once, and before that I was supposedly emotionless. It is not an experience I want to repeat.” Miu nodded in understanding. “But I also do not want to die. Although… how would that even work? The petals are supposed to block the lungs and fill the throat, but I don’t really have either… I’m not even sure how I’m coughing them up in the first place.” As if to emphasize his point, he hacked up another bunch of off-white and pale purple petals. 

“Want me to open you up and see what’s penetrating ya?” 

Kiibo’s blush returned as he covered his face. “Don’t phrase it like that!” 

. . .

It was always difficult emerging from Miu’s Lab, the sudden blast of sunlight blinding Kiibo. Maybe that’s the reason he didn’t register Shuichi standing outside until he spoke. “Kiibo, what’s going on?”

“What? Nothing’s wrong, why would you-” he said quickly, holding back a cough. Just his luck, the very object of his affections was here to investigate. Of course he had to have a crush on the Ultimate Detective. Of course he did. 

Shuichi frowned, adjusting his hat against the sun’s glare. “It’s not time for your usual check-up with Miu, and you’ve been behaving strangely… did I do something?” Shuichi’s eyes were forlorn, pleading to know if he was in the wrong. 

Kiibo’s metaphorical heart melted. “No, it’s not- I’m absolutely fine, Shuichi, I prom- *hack!*” Kiibo coughed, unable to resist it, and a pile of purple petals landed at his feet. “I- oh no- Shuichi-” 

The detective bent down, picking up one of the petals and scrutinizing it. “Coughing up petals… Kiibo, do you… have Hanahaki?”

ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT- “I’m a robot, Shuichi, it’s impossible for me to contract Hanahaki.” 

Shuichi smiled ruefully. “Such robophobic comments… it’s unlike you. And we both know you’re more than just a robot.” Slowly, he reached across and took Kiibo’s hand. “Purple… Kaede? Kokichi, maybe? You don’t seem particularly close to Kaito but-” 

“No, it’s n-none of them,” Kiibo confessed, despite his inner voice screaming at him to stop. “I know exactly who it’s for, b-but… I’m afraid they won’t feel the same way.” 

Yellow-gray eyes narrowed at the sentiment. “Kiibo, anybody would be lucky to have you, and I…” He sighed, pulling his hand back. “I just hope they treat you right. I want you to be happy.” 

Kiibo didn’t need to breath, but he couldn’t help but gasp at Shuichi’s words. “You… Shuichi, I-” 

“I want you to be happy,” Shuichi continued, looking away. “Even if it’s not with me. I don’t know who you’ve fallen for, but they are the luckiest person on the planet, in my opinion. And if they don’t return your affection, that’s their own loss. Maybe I was being foolish, but I thought… us spending time together was so nice, Kiibo. And I couldn’t help the emotions that followed. Perhaps it was dumb, perhaps it was wishful thinking, but I was just… so hopeful you might’ve felt the same way I do.” 

Kiibo had never been confessed to before, but he knew what one sounded like. And so he launched himself at Shuichi, wrapping him into a tight hug. “Kiib-” 

“It’s you, Shuichi. I have Hanahaki for you.” 

And, by all accounts, that should have been enough. Kiibo knew enough about Hanahaki to know that if the love was requited, the disease would go away instantly. It might not be pleasant, but at least it would be gone. And yet another coughing fit ravaged him, sending petals to the brick pathway below. Shuichi bent down next to him, rubbing his back fruitlessly. “H-how-” Kiibo rasped, as more petals came up. Was this the last of it expelling itself from his system? Or was Shuichi lying? Or- 

“Geeeeeeeez, Kiibo, you should really have that looked at,” said a new voice. Kiibo managed to look up enough to see tattered white pants. “Someone might start to think you have Hanahaki or something.” 

“Kokichi, Kiibo does have Hana-” 

“No he doesn’t! He’s a robot, silly, they can’t experience love.” Kiibo tried to say something about robophobia, but his coughs prevented it. “But, pretend that they could. And they were toooooootally obvious in their crush. So maybe- and I won’t say who- maybe somebody stuffed their chassis full of petals to simulate Hanahaki.” 

“I-is that a co-confession?” Kiibo managed to croak out. 

Kokichi hummed, rocking back and forth on his feet. “Who knows? I am a liar, after all. Maybe ask Miu about it, though. I bet she’d love to tell her side of the story. Neeheehee!” 

Kiibo groaned, suddenly content to spend his entire life on the ground. Shuichi, however, opted to pull him back to his feet. “Come on,” the detective said, taking his hand softly. “Let’s get you fixed up. A-and then… we can talk about… this.” He waved their joined hands together.