Mar 1, 2019
Confession 84
When you have been to busy to eat or sit down all day and your free charge nurse, who hasnt helped all day, starts talking about how tired she is...
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Confession 84
When you have been to busy to eat or sit down all day and your free charge nurse, who hasnt helped all day, starts talking about how tired she is...
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Situation - my patient is oriented x4, but saying off-the-wall stuff, definitely confused, hasn't slept in days, developing ICU psychosis.
Patient: Are you married?
Me: Nah, I'm only 26. 😄
P: What about that guy who came in here earlier?
M: Who? The tall one or the short one?
P: The short one! You should marry him!
M: That's Dennis(name changed), and thank you, but I don't need to be set up.
Multiple coworkers: *snickering outside my patient's room*
Coworker: Awww, why won't you let your patient play matchmaker, it sounds like so much fun?!
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Me: *Helps coworker 1 turn patient to clean back/change sheets for bath time*
Patient: (confused but pleasant) *looks up at me* "You got some pretty titties!" *Pats boobies approvingly*
Coworker 1: *horrified face* Later, I tell coworker 2 about experience.
Coworker 2: You know I'm gonna call you that from now on, right?
I was called "Pretty titties" for a good two weeks after incident. 😂🤷🏼♀️
Be nice to a nurse
When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned the hard way after ordering his nurses around as if they were his employees. But the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a carnation.