#npd ep

*gritting teeth* Pay attention to me pay attention to me pay attention to me PAY ATTENTION TO ME.

Npd culture is that no one is truly a person in my eyes, just things who serves a purpose to either be an obstacle for me or make me happy.

Why do I have you I'm a horrible person

ive never really understood the concept of an ep (equal person), but i know it happens. why would you want someone to be equal to you? why do you consider this person equal to you? what is it like to have an ep? do you like having an ep? etc etc

something thats odd about my ep is that when someone is my ep, they immediately become part of me, not in an extension of myself way, but like they are on the same level as me so we are the Same kinda way. So my ep being mistreated in any way, being ignored, being pushed out of any spots, not getting the recognition they deserve, people being rude, etc etc makes me react like i would if that was me but its them and its on their behalf because how dare anyone show anything less to my ep when we stand at the same level, which is above everyone else? And my current ep is also my chp so its like not only are we on the same level, but i chose this person as someone worthy of my time and emotions, i chose them as worthy enough to stand next to me instead of below me, and you’d disrespect that choice??

i hate how my ep/chp has other people. they should only need me—im perfect, nobody else is better than me, why do they want to chose somebody other than me? please you only need me. im perfect for you, im perfect i swear. you shouldn’t have other people, you don’t need other people. please love me like i love you, you’re the only person in the world thats actually deserving of me, please. i need you or else im gonna go fucking crazy.

Still missing my favourite/equal person every day...