https://youtu.be/KA1C60B6ROs?si=x5RO5WWsXHPJiL90
i watched this video as, like, one of the very first things i did with my day. kicking off my thirty-first year right.
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https://youtu.be/KA1C60B6ROs?si=x5RO5WWsXHPJiL90
i watched this video as, like, one of the very first things i did with my day. kicking off my thirty-first year right.

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for the poetry collections: r/n, obviously. I'm trying to think of a different way to spin it, like key episodes, or something, but then I also know so much of them is just a ~vibe~ so whatever. would also be interested in rebecca/valencia and even just rebecca herself.
Rebecca/Nathaniel
Two Countries by Naomi Shihab Nye Skin remembers how long the years grow The Sun and The Moon by Nikita Gill Aim for a love that reminds you of the devotion the sun has to the moon Life While-You-Wait by Wislawa Szymborska Life While-You-Wait First Anniversary, With Monkeys by Aimee Nezhukumatathil There is no crumbly frozen cake to thaw.
Rebecca
The Song by Naomi Shihab Nye From somewhere a calm musical note arrives Mirror by Rudy Francisco There was a time in my life When Love Arrives by Sarah Kay and Philip Kaye I knew exactly what love looked like Am I Special by Rebecca Wolff I can play songs in my head
just wanted to drop in and say thank you for reblogging a buttload of my stuff with extremely wholesome tags ā„
Of course! But I should be the one thanking you, CXGF is my comfort show so it made me really, really happy to see all of your beautiful art and your adorable game for it!! So thank you :')
the start of chapter 12 of christmas fic, up until 'her fingers tighten around the keys'
Hellooo :) Ā Oof so okay. There is a lot of fluff in this story which this is not, and I wrote it under a ridiculous time crunch, and I have A Lot Of Feelings about R/N and the question of having kids or not, all of which made this a terrifying thing to approach. Ā I worked hard on it though and Iām proud of how it turned out, I think. Probably I will come back to this question at some point and not bury it in a giant Christmas themed thing. Ā But anyway, so the chapter is here. Ā Rebecca has already been distant and weird for one evening and one entire day at this point, which weāve spent in her POV, and Nathaniel is out of his depth.
Sheās restless all night and pricklier than ever in the morning.Ā He showers first, and when he comes downstairs sheās in the kitchen, buttering a toasted bagel.Ā He reaches around her to grab a mug, and she mutters, āIf youāre here to judge my breakfast choices, save it.ā Ā - Nobody has slept well. Ā Naomi has got under Rebeccaās skin, and sheās spirally about the baby question and about the possibility of her general Wrongness for Nathaniel, and also about how maybe she doesnāt know herself after all and maybe sheās not ready for this and maybe maybe maybe etc ā so spirally, in fact, that she straight up misses the fact that he organised this whole thing down to the last detail and so clearly the bagels are here because of him.
Maybe itās because heās still tired, or maybe itās because waiting her out is getting him nowhere, but he groans in exasperation.Ā āComeĀ on,Ā Rebecca.Ā Ā Iām here to make coffee.Ā Is it okay if I do that?ā ā He really does not want to snap at her, and he is really trying not to take the bait here, but, well. Nobody has slept well. Ā He needs coffee.
She turns on her heel and leaves the kitchen, leaving her half buttered bagel on the counter, and he drops his head back, staring at the ceiling.Ā - Heās been entirely sweet and patient until now, and this is the confirmation sheās been waiting for ā goading for, a little ā that she is A Disaster who is screwing this up. (The head drop is a classic Nathaniel dramatic gesture, because the boy canāt help himself, and itās fine, sheās not looking, he can do a bit of drama.)// He really does not know whatās going on.Ā He knows her mom upset her with the comment about starting a family.Ā He thinks it was worse because it had been going well, because she was relaxed and having a good time, all her walls down, and because she thought her mom was saying something nice until it turned out she wasnāt.Ā But he has no idea how that landed them here, why sheās angry with him, why she hasnāt so much as admitted anything is wrong. Ā - Nathaniel finds it easy to imagine the āparent got under her skin with a judgemental commentā part, but the angle he hasnāt got his head around is that Rebecca is in a constant fight to know herself, and right now she feels like Naomi has shattered an illusion, and she doesnāt know where to go from here. Ā (This is of course just a Very Big Question that a lot of perfectly healthy people are not sure about, but this is one of the particularly shitty things about being mentally ill ā itās really hard to separate āthis is something people find confusing and distressingā from āI process the world around me wrong and I in particular canāt handle thisā.) Ā It doesnāt occur to him that this is about whether she wants kids, or whether he does, because (1) heās a bit dense and heās over-focusing his attempts to figure her out on the Naomi angle, and (2) heās been fielding that vague expectation his whole life so it barely registered, and (3) he could tell from how casual Naomi was about it that Rebecca has been fielding that expectation her whole life too.
He finishes making his coffee and drinks half of it in one gulp, then leaves it beside her bagel and follows her into the living room.Ā Sheās standing perfectly still in the middle of the room, and she blinks at him when he walks in, looking startled.Ā She has the keys to their rental car in her hand.Ā He gestures to them.Ā āWhat are those for?ā -Ā I felt very much in her head when I wrote her walking out of the kitchen, so ymmv but when I wrote this I was thinking: Rebecca has short circuited. Ā In my mind, when he snapped she pictured him walking out the door, and that door slamming sound thatās always been a huge trigger for her, so she came in here, grabbed the keys to ā what? Hide them? Ā At this point she realised that was definitely not an okay thing to do, and she just⦠ Didnāt know what to do instead. Ā So sheās just standing here, frozen like a prey animal, and when he sees the keys in her hand he thinks sheās leaving, which is very obviously not a good idea on a number of levels.
āDo you want them?ā she shoots back immediately, an edge of panic in her voice as her fingers tighten around the keys. - Aaand she thinks heās coming to take them out of her hand to walk out and get in the car and drive away, leaving her in this cabin in the middle of nowhere because isnāt that just exactly the kind of thing that would happen to her because she can never just have anything nice and etc. Meanwhile, Nathaniel is like āwait whatā, and finally turns his brain around and points it in a slightly more helpful direction.
notbang replied to your post: thoughts on afterpartygame: wish i could search...
agree on all of this - was particularly disappointed drink choice (or drunkenness) seemed to have no bearing on how things played out. wormhorn was an option to join my party at the end - was she not for you? I also felt like there were a lot of moments where you were presented with a dichotomy of being kind or unkind and thought these choices might mean something in the end⦠maybe meaningless is the point but like you said a lot of threads with no clear resolution.
Definitely there were a ton of choices where I could be a douche or be kind, and often I painstakingly chose to be kind because thatās usually the most beneficial choice in these games, but nothing really came of it? I guess maybe it opened some drinking buddy options for me, but that didnāt matter (see below), and even befriending Sam got me nowhere because she joined my team and then refused to take part (SAM WHY lmfao). I guess I was expecting a Good Place-ish theme about, well, youāre here because you were dishonest in life but youāve been more honest in death, or the inverse if you chose to be unkind -- you think you deserve to escape hell? look at what youāve done while you were here -- or ... SOMETHING... but it never really amounted to anything. and I know Satan had that entire speech while I was forfeiting about there being no secret ending, etc, but ? I dunno exactly what I was meant to take away from any of the themes, really. I guess that nihilism is bad and you should care for the people around you... ? even if theyāre gonna torture you for all eternity...? Lol
re: wormhorn no !!! she got lectured by satan who explained she was gonna die and then i never saw her again so her story felt SUPER unfinished. :( demon wife..... i guess maybe i was supposed to find her, but i didnāt feel like the game gave me any indication that was possible or where to look? it wasnāt listed as an objective and i didnāt stumble across her naturally, and 90% of the time exploration in this game was a pointless endeavour -- plus it was getting late -- so i just decided to wrap up. damn lol. the whole time i was likeĀ āshe is one of the most OBVIOUS choices for me to make amends with and have join my team why is she not here???ā fklhglg i literally chose [move on] to every option presented thinking sheād be in the list and wound up with who i nicknamed demon claptrap by default, some guy i literally donāt remember ever interacting with who even milo and lola are likeĀ āuhhhhhh that guy i guessāĀ

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favorite fic aesthetics, 3/ā: youāre the fire and the floodĀ by @notbang
āIt figures that right when Rebeccaās about to get her life together, right when sheās about to start over and fresh, the world decides to fall apart. āThe world isnāt ending,ā he scoffs with false bravado, in an attempt to lighten the mood. āCalifornia has forest fires every year. So this oneās a little out of controlāso what? Theyāll put it out eventually. They always do.āĀ
When a forest is burned, what comes back may not resemble what was lost.
Rebecca Bunch has never been particularly afraid of fire.
I posted my last piece for Femslash February five days ago, and Iām kind of still amazed that I made it through them all. A lot of things happened in my personal life as well during the past few months, and itās really made the first quarter of this year One for the Books. Now that Iāve reached the end of the challenge (FINALLY), I wanted to take this opportunity to extend my love and gratitude to everyone who motivated me to see this through to the end.Ā
Firstly, thank you to all of the following for the likes/reblogs along the way (Iām so glad you read and enjoyed!):
cutie-hemmings-penguinsĀ formyĀ girlpower8900Ā iamonlyatigerĀ Ā
kitten-of-the-universeĀ massiekurrĀ menschinresidenceĀ thefuckingstoryĀ
thesamegirlfromthethingĀ valenciaperezĀ valenciaruizĀ watercolourstorm
monaiargancoconutsoy: Youāve tracked my progress through all 28 prompt fills and your continued support has been deeply appreciated. Your reactions also made me smile. I thinkĀ āOmg love it. Iām crying in the clubā remains my favorite. <3 Thank you for being there for each new post and cheering me on with your enthusiasm in the comments!
notbang: As I often tell my tag-readers, Iām a very big fan of your writing, so knowing that youāve been following along with my contributions to Femslash February has truly meant a lot to me. Oh gosh, and the fan art! I canāt express enough admiration for all your beautiful creations during that month! Most especially, thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing a scene from one of my ficlets to life. No oneās ever done that for me before, and I cherish every detail. Itās perfect!Ā
catty-words: Captain of the ship! None of this would have happened without you. Through your own writing and your reactions to mine, you inspired me to give this challenge my all. I am endlessly grateful for how youāve helped me to thrive and reconnect with my favorite form of artistic expression. Iām so happy we get to share our love for the pairing with each other and the rest of this corner of the fandom. Thank you for each tag youāve devoted to liveblogging your read-throughs of my work, and thank you also for every word youāve written for our girls. Iāve smiled, laughed, flailed, cried -- the journey through your installments really did give me all the emotions and I couldnāt have been more delighted! Creating stories alongside you is without a doubt one of the best things thatās happened for me in 2019. <3
2, 3, 14
Favorite gurlgroup scene?
It might be the ending conversation of 4.05, when they are talking about how things will both be different and still the same and then toast each other promising that gurl group is forevah. That was really sweet and a nice showcase of how far all of them have come in their friendship.
Favorite supporting character?
Probably Scott Proctor. Iām always glad to see him onscreen and I really ended up loving how his relationship with Paula evolved. Plus, he has some really fun lines even though he wasnāt generally involved in wacky storylines.
Favorite costume?Ā
Hnghhhhh. Probably Letās Generalize About Men, just because of how bright and sparkly and fun every aspect of that costume is.
Close runner ups include The Cringe outfits (they all just looked really nice) and the looks in Loveās Not a Game.