#not ll

It was because I was talking to people in the fandom almost every day, about the book series or not, developed strong connections with these people, maintained them, and looked forward to something every day because there was something worth getting excited over

I was in Discord servers and Instagram chats with tons of Lorien Legacies fans who I talked to often, and it was a blast (amid occasional issues, but that's a given in small communities anyhow). I could go into a couple weeks long conversations talking about ships, and then go into another week long conversation and anime that me and someone else in the fandom like, and then back to LL

Despite my constant hiatuses and how many times I was taking breaks from making fanart or engaging in the fandom, I had friends in tight circles and we talked often and we had a lot of interests that go beyond LL because we just knew each other. We had inside jokes, we shared memes, we delved into different interests and got to infodump about them all the time

And now all of that is just.. gone.

Idk, I've been feeling less and less engaged in Lorien Legacies, but in a social kind of way. I love to write stuff for myself and make notes on the books and analyze all the neat stuff I find, but I dunno who to share that with. I feel like I'm overtalking about the books with one or two people and it's the only conversation starter I can think of, and everyone else I talk to, I do not know well enough, we're too busy to have long conversations, or it's gotten to the point where we're running out of Lorien Legacies stuff to say so we just don't talk at all.

And that's kind of the opposite of a fandom, at least in my eyes? I talked about this place being a very tight knit community because everyone knows each other, and that may be the case for some of you guys who regularly talk to other people in the fandom about LL or another shared interest like other books, anime, video games, memes, or other stuff. I feel like I'm starting to be a stranger to this place again, though. Everyone's a stranger, I don't even know who you all are outside of "Lorien Legacies fan," and every conversation I have with someone is surface level small talk. Sometimes something interesting happens, and I get a laugh or two out of it, or something exciting happens. That's it.

I was especially excited because the 13yearsoflorien project also has monthly event discord calls for people to join for this EXACT REASON: to hang out with others, get to know each other, laugh and stuff, actually bond with people and develop some sort of connection so we traverse that barrier that makes everyone a stranger to one another. But, people are busy (whether it's school or work), live in different time zones, or are not aware of the call, so it's very few people getting on and playing a couple games. I'm trying to fix the time zone thing to make sure people are able to attend, but people still get busy and cannot attend the events, or don't know it's happening in the first place

ʚ Eve Wakamiya phone wallpapers ✧*:･