Batlantern but Hal moves in and starts knocking himself out like in the older comics. Bruce gets home only to find Hal unconscious with something fallen on his head. Batfamily start finding him around the house knocked out either by falling or another way
AHHH yessss yessss the first prompt I've gotten! HAHAHA! Let me see-
Bruce has never, ever, once doubted the abilities of the Green Lantern of Earth. He has never, truly, despite them being at each other's throats the first few years of their life-long entanglement with each other. But after marrying the revered Greatest Green Lantern to ever live, Bruce has started to question how the heck he has survived this long?
The third day after their honeymoon, Bruce comes home to Hal lying unconscious in the garden. Bruce almost has a heart attack from it until he learns that Hal has stepped on a rake and gotten knocked out by it.
It is a stupid, one-time thing, right?
No.
Once, Hal gets out of the shower, trips on the slippery floor, and passes out until dinner.
On another random morning, Alfred is doing his monthly maintenance on the roof, and the hammer in the old Butler's hand slips and finds its way to the Green Lantern's head, knocking him unconcious.
Hal goes out to pick some apples from the garden and somehow a spectacularly hard apple will fall on his head, knocking Hal out, leaving him, once again, unconscious in the garden. No new Physics rules are born from it, though.
When Bruce confonts Hal about it he just shrugs and says it happens sometimes and that he has always been fine after waking up.
What does he even mean by that?
"I don't know, Destiny seems to want me to die, I guess?"
WHAT DOES HE EVEN MEAN BY THAT?
It stresses the old Batman out so much that he has to be with Hal wherever, whenever in the house. It gets worse after that one accident where Hal went up the stairs right after Bruce, tripped, fell, and, you guess it, landed on his head and knocked himself out for 2 days straight.
The man's may as well be an active suicidal risk.
Bruce doesn't dare to let go of his wifey's hands after that. On a particularly stormy day when the rain makes things slippery and objects fly around, Bruce carries Hal everywhere like a doll. Hal hates it. But Bruce finds it fine, Hal weighs nothing to him, he can lift Hal up with one hand and still fight crime with no difficulty whatsoever. Luckily Hal manages to convince Bruce against that with a pretty promise of talking into his comm every 15 minutes to ensure the Bat he's still fine every night. (It grosses the kids out a LOT)
Hal tries to live in the Green Lantern suit all day just to avoid Bruce being too overprotective once. It sounds like a plausible plan, until he decides to fly to the sky and boast that "I will be fine! I don't need you to cradle me 24/7!" And then Hal Jordan, the Emerald Knight, proceeds to get struck in the head by a meteor and, you guess it, becomes unconscious and falls right back into Batman's arms.
Hal dares not put up a fight after the utterly embarrassing incident.
And whenever Bruce has to go away, he always assigns someone to keep an eye out for Hal.
The kids, at the start, are all skeptical. He's Hal Jordan? He can will himself back to life? He can rebuild his loved ones from a single molecule? Why would he need protection?
They were not there when Hal got hit in the head by a flying coconut; of course, they would doubt that and say "There's no way he's THAT clumsy" until they witness the horror of seeing Hal lying unconscious in the Garden pond, face down after tripping on a single tiny rock.
They think he has DIED. That's like the only one thing Batman has told them to avoid.
Luckily, Hal has not died. But his soul has left his body a little bit.
After that frightening incident, all of the kid finds keeping an eye on Hal the most taxing task ever. It's worse than guarding the head of a nation through an assassination attempt curated by 50 other nations plus one Lex Luthor.
Mistakes still happen, sometimes, they put Hal to bed ("Why is a 14 year-old kid reading me bedtime stories???" - Hal), doze off, and find him lying face down in the kitchen with a bunch of pots around him in the morning.
Fate truly wants him to die, it seems.
Fortunately, aside from his "home time", Hal's still as competent and domineering as ever when he's at work (now with a little flirting in public with Batman) It saves the Bat some dignity, certainly because he would definitely be called a "simp" (in Tim's words) if he wants to hold his wifey's hands 24/7 at work.
Will the Bats ever find out why Hal keeps getting knocked out like that? Maybe yes, but likely never; it's one of those questions in life that can never be answered.
So let's just blame it on Destiny for now.
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Thanks, anon, for the amazing ask hahahaha it's really funny to think and write about because seriously, why does Hal keep hitting his head on everything and get knocked out like that??? Girl get up!!! You're not a klutzy anime female lead???
(unless-)
