#norimadeit

Aemond seemed to come alive during those conversations, talking endlessly of the history of old Valyria, and his enthusiasm was contagious. The more time you spent discussing that ancient culture, the closer the two of you became, and he opened up to you in a way he said he had rarely done with anyone else.

He spoke of his family and his feelings—his loneliness and his anger—and his search for identity and purpose. Those moments were like a window into his soul, and you felt honored to be in the presence of someone so complex. He was the perfect mix of boy, man and monster.

You felt as if you could truly relate to him, and you had never felt so understood.

As the years passed, Aemond became your closest friend and ally in mischief. Everywhere you went, you were inseparable.

Yet, when the two of you entered high school, you suddenly felt out of place; you were a late bloomer who had gone from wanting to be different to being treated like you were.

Any pubescent confidence you had was gone, replaced by feeling small and insignificant, while Aemond was already transforming into an adult.

Despite your differences, there was an unspoken connection between the two of you, and you silently vowed to be best friends forever.

It was only once he began dating popular Alys Rivers in your senior year that you comprehended the permanence of 'forever'.

Despite your own awkwardness and insecurity, it was easy to see why she liked him. At seventeen, when you still looked like the underside side of a foot (thanks Aegon), Aemond had grown into an ethereal creature, almost magical in his beauty. Some sort of elf like thing from those fanfiction smuts you read online at night beneath the covers.

As you watched Aemond and Alys grow closer, you couldn't help but feel a deep pang of sadness in your chest. Seeing them together was a stark reminder of everything you had shared with him before she came into the picture.

When you did manage to hang out, there was a tension that hadn't been there before. The relationship had changed him - he was different than he used to be; more mature, more sophisticated, more aloof and distant.

And his hugs goodbye started to linger on. He would whisper something softly in your ear when he would embrace you, but not look back once he was out your front door. You were left to guess what his true intentions were.

It felt like maybe you were two steps away from being in a relationship of your own with Aemond, but the fear of being wrong kept holding you back from taking the plunge.

You wondered what it would be like if you came clean and told him how you felt, but didn't like the risk of getting your heart broken if he wasn't interested in being more than friends.

You had to watch from the sidelines as he poured all of his energy into Alys in a way that had even his mom giving him sidelong glances and unsolicited advice; telling him not to spend too much time focused on her instead of himself or his future goals.

And then one day it happened - things changed between the two of you again.

After a tense discussion about which college you would both attend, he'd blown up at you for saying you wanted to run as far away from King's Landing as possible.

There was an exchange of harsh words and hurtful remarks. He told you it was time to grow up, to face your fears head on and that things between you couldn't stay the same forever.

He didn't want to keep dwelling in the darkness; he wanted to be his own person, not defined by his anger.

He wanted you to change with him and you had told him no. You told him no longer believed in forever anyway.

It felt like you were having two different conversations, but misunderstanding both.

You wanted to be you and Aemond; not you, Aemond and Alys. He'd given you a strange look then, and stormed off angrily.

By the end of that school year, you almost couldn't bear to hear either of their names. He gave off the impression of being happy and content with Alys and it made you feel even more invisible.

The wilder elements of your nature urged you to claw your way through Alys' skin. You yearned to become her, believing it would raise your self-esteem. The thought of imitating her style and mannerisms crossed your mind, only to be instantly dismissed as foolish. All that you really wanted was for Aemond to speak to you like a true friend and not like just someone who wasn't her.

There was no way to win, so you decided that your friendship meant as much to you as it did him.

Not shit.

After graduation, you distanced yourself and went ahead with your plan to pick a university as far away as possible from his (and Alys') choice of Drangonstone: White Harbor U.

Living without Aemond was difficult. Not more difficult than it had ever been, but with that sickly sweet feeling of codependency gone, you felt scared. You had never been your own person before, but you were determined to try now.

You found that the city was teeming with people who had something to offer, but you couldn't make a lasting connection. The men you dated never stuck around, leaving you feeling more and more alone.

Eventually, you settled with Dalton Greyjoy, an art major who made side money by selling prints of stormy coastlines and mermaids in the harbor. Dalton was everything Aemond use to be; wild and unpredictable, like the sea he so often painted.

Dalton made it easier for you to open up about yourself. He saw that a spark of fire simmering just beneath your surface. With him, it felt okay to be vulnerable; he listened without judgement or condescension whenever you told him about your struggles with self-esteem or shared stories from your past.

A hint of distance kept things from going too deep between you two. You could tell he liked being around you but it never seemed like enough for him to commit fully or even discuss anything serious beyond weekend plans or art exhibitions happening in town.

It wasn't until months later that he finally admitted he wasn't ready for more than what you already had – a friendship with physical perks.

Leaving Dalton was easier than you wanted to admit... but something lingered in the back of your mind: an ever-present reminder that no matter how close someone is willing to get to you they still may not be able stay by your side forever.

With college finished and the anxiety of the future looming, you realized that you didn't have the funds to keep going.

You had girl-bossed your way into exhaustion and credit card debt. Your father wanted to take the situation into his own hands, but that meant you would be indebted to him. He'd been suggesting marriage for a while now and had dropped several names of eligible partners. You'd attempted to brush it off, but you knew he disliked Dalton and he didn't have much faith in your romantic decisions.

Politically, he needed you to attach yourself to someone who wouldn't cause any scandal. Rather than hawking yourself like a prized horse, you cleverly conned him into providing you with a job that utilized your freshly-obtained degree.

Your parents had split up shortly after you graduated high school, but they both made a strong attempt to coax you into choosing one side to live with.

It didn't matter to you that rent would eat up most of your paycheck. Returning home felt like a never-ending loop; like your life was repeating itself, constricting all your freedom.

You desperately needed some kind of liberation.

Three days into living off of salads in a dimly lit room, you heard a knock on the door. You almost decided to pretend you weren't home, but then remembered you had ordered some things online to help cure your depression and thought that it might be your packages.

To your annoyance, it wasn't the courier, but Aemond.

He was standing in front of you with takeout from the local Yi-ti place and a bottle of Dornish red. As completely unexpected as his presence was, it didn't take a genius to figure out who must have given him your address. You definitely hadn't, in fact you hadn't even told him you were moving back.

'Aegon' you thought, 'you fucking prick.'

Yesterday, Helaena and the older Targaryen boy had helped you move in what meager furniture you had; and you knew Helaena would never have given you up.

Aemond, for his part seemed content to ignore your discomfort, his broad smile contrasting against his bright blue eyes.

You narrowed your gaze, glaring up at him as you queried, "Are you stalking me?"

"I was in the neighborhood and wanted to see how a junior press secretary lives." He replied, flashing a self-assured smirk that sent shivers through

you. You could tell he was joking but your frown only deepened. You were going to kill Aegon.

"Poorly." You gripped the door handle. "Now that you've blessed us mere mortals with your judgement, you may leave." You tried to close the door but he uttered your name in a pleading whine.

"I lied, I just needed to see you. Please." You found it difficult to stand your ground against him, even after all the time that had passed. You clenched your jaw before letting him in. He cast a brief look around your small living space, and your anger mounted.

You kicked the door close and spoke, "I've been eating in my bed and no I don't have two glasses." You directed him to the bedroom and gestured for him to sit down.

He slipped off his shoes, and you stopped yourself from examining their size. You couldn't let your mind go there. "You better have ordered the Jade Emperor chicken."

He laughed, taking out the Styrofoam containers from the brown paper bags. "I almost didn't, but you know I know what you like." You watched his hands as he opened up the containers and began to set them up on your bedspread.

You settled beside him and began to eat, savoring all bites of the delicious dish. Take out was a luxury that you weren't quite ready to allow your dad to set up blind dates for.

You didn't see the amusement in Aemond's eyes as you moaned in pleasure between bites. "This is why I love Yi-Ti," you said after you swallowed another satisfying mouthful of chicken.

He nodded in agreeance knowing his plan was working; despite everything, it was nice to have someone to share a meal with.

The wine helped you two to fall into the easy way things use to be.

Aemond started talking about how he was working at the family company and some of his recent projects. You listened intently, nodding as he spoke, occasionally making an interesting comment or two when asked for input. When he was done recounting all of his work adventures, he turned his attention back to you.

"So what are your plans now that you're back in Kings Landing?" he asked with genuine interest. You sat down your chopsticks before wiping your mouth with a napkin and then responded slowly.

"Now that I have this degree, I'm hoping to make something out of it...eventually." You paused for a moment, looking away from Aemond and out the window which revealed an empty street below your apartment building. "I guess I'm just trying to figure out where I belong."

He looked down at the floor. You didn't let the silence stretch too long and updated him on your parents. Your dad has just started dating some woman that was closer to your age than his. Aemond knew something about that.

"Yeah," he commiserated, "my dads still a dick too."

You chuckled dryly before taking another sip of wine and falling into a comfortable silence as you both thought about all of the things in life that weren't going as planned.

Once dinner had ended, Aemond asked if he could stick around a little longer, and you couldn't believe how swiftly you'd agreed. You reasoned that it must be because you didn't want to act disrespectful, given your past friendship with the person who had just brought dinner over to you.

You both moved to settle against the headboard and continued your light chatting.

You worked up the courage to ask about Alys. He surprised you when he said that he had broken up with her for good this time. She had started pressuring him about marriage, but she wasn't the one he saw himself being with forever. You had scoffed at the word, but let him finish talking.

"I realized that she was like a band-aid, she helped my anger but my wounds underneath were festering." He looked at the wall opposite of you, "that's how I felt with her, like large parts of me had putrefied off. I woke up and I missed those parts."

His voice was hollow and desperate, and he paused as you tried to clear the lump that had formed in your throat. You being the parts of him that were missing was left largely unsaid. "So when Aegon let it slip that you'd come back... I had to see you with my own eyes."

You waited a bit, to find the right words, but nothing was poetic enough. "I missed you too. You don't deserve it, but I missed you so fucking much, Aemond." Your breath was coming out in shallow gasps as the air seemed to thicken between the two of you. You were both so close, your lips barely an inch from each other, and it felt like time had stopped. "You need to apologize to me."

"I'm so sorry." He began immediately, "You don't know how much I've hated myself for ending our friendship." He was looking straight into your eyes, all trace of bravado gone.

You wanted to be mad at him. This was supposed to be a person from your past you had gotten over. But the truth was, you knew you still loved him.

For a moment, neither of you moved or spoke. Then, almost simultaneously, you both leaned in slightly and your lips brushed against each other for the first time. The kiss was tender and filled with longing and regret – all the things that had been left unsaid between you two for so long.

Your hands reached up to intertwine in his hair as he kissed you more deeply, exploring your mouth like it was something precious he'd been searching for all along. You felt him wrap one arm around your waist while the other ran down your back softly before gripping onto your ass. Aemond pressed against the curves of your body as if trying to meld himself into you completely. You could feel his heart beating fast just beneath his skin.

The kiss slowly faded into soft pecks until finally it ended with one final gentle nip on the corner of your mouth before he pulled away to give you a look asking for permission to go further. You nodded your head.

It was then that Aemond let out a quiet moan, he reached behind him to pull off his shirt in one fluid motion before quickly removing off the rest of his clothes.

You could feel your face flush as you followed suit, shedding your own clothing until the two of you were sitting there naked in front of one another. The only sounds were your labored breath and the beating of your hearts as they surged with adrenaline from what was about to come next.

Aemond leaned forward, bringing himself closer to you as he cupped your face tenderly with one hand while using the other to brush against your exposed skin softly. His touch felt like electricity running through your veins and it caused an involuntary shudder run through you body in response.

All of your previous anger dissipated.

His eyes were full of need and desire as he pulled you to the edge of the bed effortlessly. Spreading your knees apart, he knelt before you. It was your turn to smirk. He looked like he belonged there.

"Finally humbled before me, huh?" In response, he tugged on the back of your legs, which prompted a yelp of surprise and a burst of laughter.

His hands explored your lower body with a slow intensity that had your heart racing and your skin tingling with pleasure. His mouth left trails of kisses across your belly and thighs. He found all of your most sensitive spots, caressing them with a gentle care that had you gasping for air.

Years of fingering yourself, pretending it was him touching you had finally come to this. Through the haze of lust, you realized that you must have said that out loud because he hummed into your skin.

Kissing the inside of your thigh, he looked up at you. "I was obsessed with the idea of you masturbating. Imagining how you touched yourself, imagining what turns you on."

"When we were younger?" Your eyes were wide.

He shook his head, confessing. "Then and now. I jacked off to the thought of you yesterday." You were taken aback by his admission, but you couldn't help but feel flattered that he'd been fantasizing about you for so long.

Finally, when you thought you could stand no more, his tongue darted out to send shockwaves through your system as it circled around and then dipped inside your already wet pussy. Your mind blanked out at the sensations coursing through you. You felt like flying into pieces just from this one act alone.

He buried his face deep between your legs, while murmuring words of adoration in between each delicious lick of his tongue. Every movement sent orgasmic ripples down your spine until, it hit its climax and all that was left was to bask in its aftermath: complete and utter euphoria.

When he decided you were ready, Aemond reached over to his pants and pulled a condom out of his wallet. Your jealousy was glad he had at least been practicing safe sex with Alys.

To avoid going to a dark place, you said the first thing that came to mind. "Of course your penis would be pretty." It was thick and pink, with just a slight curve to the right that had you expecting good things. A bead of precum leaked out of the tip and you subconsciously licked your lips. You wanted to taste it.

He laughed at you, shaking his head, as he rolled the rubber on. "You think so?"

You didn't trust yourself to speak so you just nodded. With a smirk, he pushed your shoulder lightly, so that you fell back against the bed again and positioned himself so his cock was against your clit. He entered slowly, letting out a moan of pleasure as he filled you up completely.

You dug your nails into his back with each thrust, wanting him deeper and harder each time. His hands were again all over your body, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. He felt like absolute bliss inside of you and it was making your entire body quiver with pleasure in anticipation for what was to come next.

Just when you felt your climax hitting, Aemond’s hips began to cant back and forth in a lazy rhythm. You barely registered that he was fucking with you. You made mewls of protest as he grinded into your pussy.

He wanted you to feel as frustrated as he had felt all these years trying not to chase after your shadow. He chuckled, the low rumble vibrating against your skin. "I've waited so long for this and I'm not going to rush it." Your head felt dizzy.

"P-please, Aemond, please, can I cum? We can go again." You begged between moans.

Aemond seemed to take pity on you, his fingers dug gently into your waist and he kissed your neck softly as he started to thrust fast again. You gasped in pleasure as you felt the delightful sensation of him inside you as his movements increased in depth and intensity.

He was relentless in his pace; each thrust pushing you closer and closer to the edge until finally he whispered into your ear “Tell me what you need, baby."

One hand moved up to cradle your face while his other caressed down the length of your body. Your skin burned wherever he touched and when his thumb moved to caress circles around your clit you couldn't contain a loud moan that escaped from your lips, "More, Aemond please!"

He grinned down at you "Say it like you mean it, Baby." He commanded before increasing the pressure with each stroke of his thumb on your sensitive bundle of nerves until finally the pressure became too much for you to take.

With a shuddering cry, you threw back your head and shouted out his name as waves upon waves of pleasure cascaded through every inch of your body, leaving no part untouched in its wake.

He thrust twice more, his mouth slanting over yours in something that was more teeth clashing than a kiss, and stilled. As your breathing slowed down, Aemond collapsed on top of you, exhausted and satisfied.

"Aemonddd," you whined, weakly trying to push his heavy body off and you heard him laugh again. He moved to lay beside you and and held you close. You nuzzled into his chest and felt the warmth of contentment.

You lay there together for a while afterwards, feeling sated yet blissfully relaxed all at once. He kissed your forehead, cock long having gone soft.

"Let me go get something to clean you up with." You didn't want him to get up, but you were too tired to stop him.

After Aemond went to the bathroom, his phone started ringing from somewhere on the floor. You shuffled to hang off the edge of the bed to look at it. You didn’t want to invade his privacy, but the screen was face up. What if it was important?

A small voice in the back of your head reminded you that you didn’t know enough about his current life to discern whether this call could be an emergency… but you looked anyway and your heart sank. That same small voice laughed bitterly ‘and that’s what you get, you dumbass.'

It was Alys. 

You watched the phone vibrate until it stopped ringing. Not two seconds later, a ding signaled that a text message had been delivered.

[INCOMING] “Great seeing you last night, Aem. Sorry I had to rush off but I’ll take that raincheck tonight. Xoxo.”

Your stomach twisted with nausea as realization sunk in—you were just a second choice, the back-up plan for when Alys was too busy. He’d ended up at your door, because he was bored. Or whatever. The schematics didn’t matter.

Anger flooded through you and tears stung your eyes as the voice in your head laughed bitterly at your foolishness. He could never look at you the way he looked at her.

You heard the water shut off from the bathroom and quickly scrambled back to the head of your bed, propping yourself up against the headboard. You mustered up your best lopsided grin for Aemond, trying hard to feign indifference as he entered the room with a towel slung over his shoulder.

He gave you a wink in return and then turned his attention to his phone, picking it up off the ground, he sent out a flurry of messages with a smug look on his face. You scowled when he smiled at the screen, feeling foolish for expecting more than he was capable of giving.

"Texting your ex-girlfriend back?" You allowed the bubbling anger to seep out, feeling completely and utterly played. You sounded every bit of an asshole you thought he was.

Aemond tossed the phone down and looked at you in confusion, all traces of happiness gone. You didn't like how his eyes made you feel anymore, and his silence felt like a confession.

“Wow, I should have known. You two are made for each other you know that." Tears rimmed your eyes "Fuck you, Aemond. I’m so fucking stupid.”

You got up and grabbed your clothes off the ground, you needed to get as far away from him as possible. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing your heart break.

He all but jumped over the bed and grabbed your arms, “hey, hey” he tried to calm you down. You wanted to lash out, but knew it wouldn't do any good. “Sweetheart, talk to me.”

You didn't want to talk. What was there to say? He had a girlfriend and he only came around when she wasn't available - you get the picture.

So instead of talking, you just looked away, avoiding his gaze and focusing on the floor. Your breathing started to slow as he gently enveloped you into his arms and held you close.

For a moment, everything felt okay again. But then reality hit - your eyes widened as you remembered what had just happened and your stomach dropped in despair. The anger was back in an instant and before you knew it hot tears of rage were flowing down your cheeks.

He held onto you tighter as if trying to shield you from pain with his embrace, rocking back and forth until eventually the tears stopped.

When the storm passed, he pulled away slightly so that he could look into your eyes. He shook you, “Don’t you get it? I didn’t come here because of her, I came here for you, I came here because despite all of our differences, I still care for you.” He pleaded, “I don't want to be with her again.”

Aemond looked more apologetic than you had ever seen him; his features softened as soon as he saw how broken up inside you truly were. You blinked, you were upset and yet so confused. He smiled and kissed your forehead, “It’s you I’ve always wanted, it’s you I still want.”

You desperately wanted to believe him. In your silence, he pulled you back to the bed and held you. Once he was certain that you wouldn't try to flee, he let go of you and picked up his phone. "I want you to see what I wrote to her, Baby."

He showed you the conversation thread, and you audibly groaned in response.

[OUTGOING] 'no need. i meant what i said last night, Alys. i'm not going to change my mind.'

[OUTGOING] 'i'm tired of us getting in the way of better things. better relationships.'

[OUTGOING] 'have fun with the stark kid, i hope you don't fuck that up.'