#noonasinnetwork

Seconds later it hit you. Human? Why did they ask who brought a human home? Weren't you all humans? What was he talking about?

You looked back at the one who asked the question. You opened your mouth, ready to question his question but before you were able to speak, the bedroom door swung open, and in walks Baekhyun. He looks around the room, glaring at the men who surrounded you.

"What the hell are you guys doing in here?" He asks, walking towards the bed, where you were huddled up.

"Ah, Baekhyun, well then that makes sense." One of them says, The rest all nodded their heads.

"What?" Baekhyun asks.

"Why is she here?" A man asks, looking at Baekhyun with a pissed off face.

"She was in trouble when I was dropping her off. She needed somewhere to go, Suho, she doesn't know anything.” Baekhyun tells him.

What was he talking about?

“What is it that I don't know?” you ask.

“Get her the fuck out of here. You know the rules, Baekhyun.” Suho yells, walking out of the room with the rest of the men following closely behind him.

“Get dressed, we gotta go.” Baekhyun says, turning around to walk out the door, closing it behind him. You quickly scramble out of the bed, slipping on your pants and your shoes before walking towards the door at a quick pace. When you open it, Baekhyun is standing there. He doesn't say a word to you but instead grabs your wrist, pulling you towards the large staircase. His hand feels like ice on your wrist.

You tried to question him as the two of you descended down the stairs, but ignored you, he was in a rush to get you out of the house. You didn't know what you did to whoever that was in your room this morning, but it was very clear that you were not welcomed in this house.

“Baekhyun.” You call out as the two of you walk out the front door. He still doesn't acknowledge you as he slides himself into the driver's seat of his car. You get into the passenger seat, crossing your arms, annoyed at the lack of communication skills he apparently didn't have.

“Are you not going to answer me?” you ask, turning to look at him while he focuses on the road. He doesn’t say anything for the remainder of the drive with you, you guys sat in complete silence.

Baekhyun pulls into the parking lot at your apartment, he parks, turns off the engine and turns to face you. His eyes stare deeply into yours, making your heart flutter. He starts leaning in closely to you, you lean into him. He raises his hand, placing it on your cheek, the coldness sends a shiver down your spine. He moves in closer until finally,he presses his lips to yours, and you feel fireworks. Baekhyun begins to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue into your mouth as you melt into the kiss. He begins to pull back, his teeth gently biting your bottom lip, he pricks your lip before swiping his tongue over the small cut, healing it without you knowing. Now that he’s tasted your blood, he knows no other males can take you. It gives him a little bit of comfort before he says what he’s going to say to you.

“That was.. Wow.” you exclaim. It was like something out of a book, a kiss like you’d never had before.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He says quietly, almost in a whisper, as “’I shouldn't have kissed you, or gotten involved with you. I knew better than to do that. You just..” he pauses, “You need to pretend I don't exist. Forget you ever met me.” He finishes.

He turns to look at you. He hates seeing the pain and confusion in your face. He more so hates that he’s the one that's causing it, mates are supposed to make things better, heal and protect you, while loving you unconditionally, but he was doing the complete opposite. He wished he could explain it to you, he wished he could stop your pain, it would be easy for him but he couldn’t risk exposing himself and the others. He wished he was able to take your memories of him, but he can't, mates can't manipulate mates.

Baekhyun puts the car in park, turning to look at you. He can’t fully read your face. It's a mixture of anger, sadness and confusion. And he understood that. “Why?” you ask. “I’ve felt a very strong pull to you and I know you’ve felt it too, so I'm confused on why you're suddenly trying to leave me.”

Baekhyun felt a pang in his heart, one that he hadn’t ever felt before. He didn’t want to leave you, but he couldn't tell you that. He couldn't say anything to you that would make you think there was a chance he didn't mean what he was saying. You needed to believe that he didn't want you.

“Nothing is going to happen between us, understand? There was nothing between us anyways.” he says.

You turn your head, you can see the window to your apartment, your curtain drawn, and suddenly it moves. You can see someone peeking behind the curtains. You immediately know it's Chad.

“Do you want me to handle him?” Baekhyun asks.

You shift in your seat, unsure of whether you say yes or no to his offer. You didn't want to feel like a burden, especially to have someone protect you that doesn't want to do it.

“No” you whisper, moving your body away from him. “Thanks for the ride.” you say, getting out of the car and walking away from him.

Once you’re back in your apartment, a crying Chad stands in your kitchen, with his head hanging down. “Why are you still here?” You sigh, placing your purse on the table.

“I truly feel awful for hurting you like that. I was not in my right mind, and I'm so sorry. I love you, Y/N, please forgive me?” he asks.

“Chad.” you begin. “I forgive you but I do not want to be with you. This is a one sided relationship and you have anger issues that you need to deal with. You need to leave and you need to leave me alone now. We're done. I’m going for coffee, you have an hour to grab your stuff and go, whatever you leave is going to donations.” you finish. You walk out the door and head outside, heading towards the coffee shop near your house. You sat with your drink, thinking about what Baekhyun had said to you. You had heard him loud and clear and that he didn’t want you but you didn’t believe it.

An hour later you wander back to your apartment, walking in immediately you notice a lot of your things on the floor, along with broken plates and glasses. You look around some more, seeing your clothes thrown all around your room, some of your shirts and pants are ripped, your bed is messed up, your pillow is cut open with feathers laying all over your bed and floor. You go to the living room and your TV has been pushed over, and your gaming console is gone.

“Fucking Chad!” you scream. You fall to the floor crying, not over the broken things or the torn up clothes, not even over your console. Your heart hurts so bad from Baekhyun’s words. There was something between the two of you, you knew it and so did he, even if he didn't want to admit it.

You let yourself be sad for a little bit before you decided to get back at CHad. he was the one who fucked up but hes taking it out on you? Real mature. You take pictures of all your broken things, your clothes, your bedding, your tv and your lack of console and march over to the police station to press charges. If he wanted to be petty, you could be petty right fucking back. When you were done at the police station you went to the bar, you really hoped he would be working today but unfortunately he wasn't there but one of the men who stood in the room to intimidate you was behind the bar.

The handsome man stared at you as you walked up to the bar. “Good afternoon.” He says, his voice is deep. “What can I get for you?” he asks.

“Double vodka and cran, please.” You say. You sounded so sad and monotone.

“Are you okay?” He asks, smiley widely. He stares into your eyes as you look at him while he smiles, he's waiting for you to get into the daze, where you'll do whatever he asks of you, but it never comes. He hands you your drink, frowning at you. “What's with that expression? You were very pissed off early this morning.” You say, taking a big gulp.

“I thought that was you.” He says clearing his throat. “My apologies for that.”

“It's fine.” You sigh. He continues to stare at you, confusion plastered on his face while he thinks, and then it hits him.

“Oh fuck no.” He mutters. “I'll be right back.” He says to you before disappearing into the back.

Seconds later you feel a presence beside you. You look over and there's another handsome, pale, dark haired man sitting beside you, but this one you did not recognize.

“Where did the bartender go?” He asks. You shrug your shoulders.

“Into the back, I think, he looked mad.” You say, finishing your drink. “He needs to hurry up though, I need another one.” You sigh.

“Bad day?” He asks, your mind flashes back to the night you met Baekhyun and he had asked you the same thing.

“You could say that.” You reply. “What about you? Why are you drinking at 3pm?” you ask.

“Bad day.” He says. “Lady problems.”

“You can vent to me if you want, I'd love something to take my mind off today.” You suggest. “I'm Y/N by the way.” You half smile. He turns to look at you, a smile plastered over his face. “I'm Jaehyun.” He responds. “It all started two weeks ago..”

**

In the back, Chanyeol angrily pulled out his phone. He quickly dialed Baekhyun's number, anger flowing through him.

“Hello?” Baekhyun answers.

“Please tell me you're not a huge fucking moron? Please say you didn't do what I think you did.” Chanyeol begs.

“I.. didn't do it? I don't know what you're talking about dude.” Baekhyun says.

“Did you fucking mark her? Did you mark Y/N? Because she's sitting at the bar, completely unbothered by me.” Chanyeol yells.

“She's there?” Baekhyun asks. “I'm coming.”

“No. Suho said you can't see her anymore, remember? And if he finds out you marked her.. it's going to be bad.” Chanyeol says.

“Yeah I know but fuck I need to see her, please man.” Baekhyun begs.

“I'll keep an eye on her.” Chanyeol says. “Stay away. Besides, Jaehyun is here talking to her already. Don't ruin your plan.” Chanyeol finishes before hanging up. He takes a deep breath before heading back out to serve customers.

**

You and Jaehyun talked for hours. You sat at the bar, drinking, chatting about life.

“I told you my history.” Jaehyun smiles. “Now it’s your turn.”

“Are you sure you want to hear this?” you chuckle.

He nods his head yes.

“Alright then, buckle up.” you giggle. “I was dating this guy named Chad”.” you began. Jaehyun stopped you there, immediately.

“That's your first mistake. Chad?” he says, cringing.

“Just wait.” you laugh. “We dated for over a year, and he did absolutely nothing. He never planned anything, he never went out of his way to do something nice for me but expected me to do anything for him at the drop of a hat. One day, he brought his clothes over in a garbage bag and then he kinda just like never left.” you shrugged

“And you accepted that?” Jaehyun asks.

You nod your head. “I didn't think I could do any better, but don’t worry, it gets worse.” you tell him. “He didn't help with any of the bills. He never bought groceries, he spent all his money on himself and his boys, Brad and Connor. They even showed up to our valentine's day date and then left in the middle of it, Chad included and left me to pay the entire bill.”

“Wait, hold on a second. Chad, Brad and Connor?” he asks.

“The three musketeers.” you laugh.

“Is there more?” he asks, hesitantly.

“There's a lot more.” you sigh. “So one night I'm stressed out trying to figure out how to pay my bills, if there's a bill I can skip paying, whatever. So Chad calls me over, he’s playing on my console again, and asks me to get him snacks. I asked him if he was going to pay for said snacks and he said he didn't have any money.” you say rolling your eyes. “So I lost it. And I mean lost it on him. I unplugged my console and i told him to get the fuck out of my apartment. I left and wandered for a while, and I ended up here.” you say, your voice going a little quieter. “That night I met Baekhyun, and seeing him for the first time felt like home.” you explain. “I know that sounds cheesy or whatever, but I had never felt so comfortable and safe around a person before.”

Jaehyun just nods his head as he continues listening.

“I ended up getting really drunk, he and I talked for hours before I had to go home. So I left, Chad was still there but I just needed to go to bed. I woke up in the morning, called in sick to work and Chad was still gaming.” you sigh. “But oh i forgot, Brad had brought him snacks because i was throwing a temper tantrum and he wanted me to venmo Brad for the snacks.”

“Please tell me you kicked his ass out?” Jaehyun asks.

“I did, and he left. But there’s more. I took the weekend and ate junk and did whatever, then on Monday evening I came back to the bar, and Baekhyun and I talked some more, and he was proud of me for kicking out Chad. but then he texted me, asking to talk.” you sigh.

“Oh no. Please don’t tell me..” Jaehyun cringes.

“He sucked me back in, promising to change and blah blah. There wasn't even a second that he tried to change. But I just accepted the fact that this was going to be my life, and I would be stuck with a man like Chad or just Chad for the rest of my life. But I was barely home, and he didn't notice. I spent my time here if i wasnt working and Baekhyun and I got really close. Honestly he knew me better then Chad knew me. And then one night, Baekhyun cut me off. He told me that I needed to go home because there was a storm coming. I told him I would just get a room at the motel across the street but he heavily objected to that.” you laugh.

“Good, that place is infested with roaches and rats.” Jaehyun says.

“He brought me home himself. We opened the door to a surprise party for me, for my birthday.” you tell him.

“Was it your birthday?” he asks you.

“Nope.” you giggle. “Anyways, Chad was mad that i didn't appreciate his effort of inviting 2 people i know, which are his best friends and the rest being only people they knew. He was also very whiskey drunk, he grabbed me, Baekhyun intervened and took me back to his house.” you continue. “ I slept there, woke up to seven men standing around the bed, I got kicked out, Baekhyun drove me home, he kissed me.” you sigh. “He kissed me and then told me to forget about him and that there's nothing between us.” you weep. You didnt want to cry but fuck your heart hurt. You sniffle and take a big breath. “ I went back to my apartment and Chad was still there. He was crying and saying sorry. I told him to get his stuff and leave. So I went for coffee and when I got back he had trashed the place and stolen my console.” you smile, chugging your drink before waving it at Chanyeol, who comes over with another one.

“And I thought I had problems.” Jaehyun says. He was absolutely flabbergasted. “This is some of the craziest shit I've ever heard. Your life is like a movie, holy shit.” Jaehyun says. You laugh at his comment and take another sip of your new drink. It’s quiet now, only the whispers of others at tables, the soft beating of the music above.

You turn your head to look at Jaehyun, but he’s already looking at you. He leans in closely, staring at you with a dazzling smile but while you're looking at him you feel nothing. He was nice, and you wanted to be his friend but that was it. There was no attraction to him. He places his hand on your thigh and moves in closer. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers.

“You’re more beautifuler.” you hiccup, trying to focus on him, focus on his hand on your thigh, but you feel nothing. There’s no butterflies, there is no nervousness. You felt nothing when he touched you. Jaehyun continues to stare at you, confused, as you begin to slide off the stool. You continued to look at him, the thought finally donning on you. You felt nothing for him.

“Huh.” you whisper, looking at him. “Absolutely nothing.” you shake your head at the thought. “Barkeeper!” you yell. “What do I owe you?” you ask.

Chanyeol nods his head towards Jaehyun and says “he took care of your tab for you already.” you turn towards Jaehyun again and thank him before stumbling your way out of the bar.

Behind you chanyeol looks at Jaehyun and gestures towards you. Jaehyun understands, and he’ll make sure you get home safe.

You walk along the sidewalk, stumbling here and there but you're okay. You can hear people talking behind you so you feel better knowing that you're not alone, until you really focus on what they're saying.

“She's really drunk, she'd probably be easy.” One man says.

“Doesn't she know how easy it would be to throw her in the back alley and do whatever we wanted?” Another laughs. You felt like you recognized the voices, but they were also deeper than anyone you knew. You were anxious and you did your best to pick up your pace and get home quickly. As you turned a corner the men continued on going straight. You felt some relief as you finished the last block to your apartment. You ran inside the building and quickly made your way up to your floor. You unlocked your door, slamming it closed behind you before locking the deadbolt. You put your keys and purse on the table, but couldn't help but feel like something was off. You quietly tiptoed around the house looking around, but you didn't see anything. You shook it off as paranoia and got ready for bed. You slept decently that night, but dreamt of Baekhyun the whole time. You missed him.

**

For the next few weeks your days remained the same, you woke up and felt like something wasn’t right. The few weeks that you felt were off, you were never able to place what was making you feeling off, you shook it off to still get over everything you had gone through with Chad and Baekhyun. You went to work, barely survived the day before going home and making your way to the bar, and 9/10 times Jaehyun was sitting at the bar, your drink set down next to him in a spot that he declared as yours. Though, on the off chance Jaehyun hadn't shown up at the bar, you had become pretty good friends with the two bartender’s that alternated nights. Chanyeol and Jongdae, they were both chipper, goofy and extremely good listeners, but they were also good at keeping their mouths shut, especially whenever you asked about Baekhyun, and you asked at least twice a night. One night after drinking a little too much, you had told Chanyeol that you were going to try to drive out to the house to see Baekhyun.

The once smiling man’s face turned stone cold. “Don’t you ever try to go out there by yourself, ever.” he snaps. You stay quiet and nod your head every so slightly as his eyes stay trained on you. “Do you understand?” he asks.

You nod your head again.

“I need to hear it Y/N. Do you understand?” he asks again.

“Yes.. yes i understand.”

You just wanted to know that he was okay, to see him, or really find out why he couldn’t talk to you. No one would tell you anything, not even Jaehyun, being left to your own imagination was almost torture. Even though Jaehyun wouldn’t tell you shit about Baekhyun, he had honestly become a very good friend to you. He fixed your shower when you needed help, he helped move in a new mattress to your place, the two of you went for coffee or dinner, if you weren’t at the bar, you were very good friends, and to your surprise that was honestly all it was. You had no sexual desire towards Jaehyun in the slightest which seemed weird to you. Clearly he was just your type but you wanted nothing but a platonic friendship from him.

You missed Baekhyun. Even though you knew better than him showing up to work at the bar, you still hoped you might catch a glimpse of him, but in the weeks that it’s been, you hadn't given up hope.

That night you said goodbye to Chaneyol and caught a cab home, you fell asleep pretty quickly and dreamt of nothing that night. In the morning you crawled out of your bed and shuffled to the kitchen to make yourself some coffee. You glanced down at your kitchen table as you passed it and something made you halt. You looked down and there laid out on the table was a picture of you, sleeping. and it was from last night. You quickly went around, making sure all your windows were shut and locked, and you looked at your front door, it was still locked. So how did someone get inside?

At that point you had completely forgotten about making your coffee and headed towards the bathroom to hop into the shower before you had to go to work, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling you had. As you wash your body, you’re startled by the sound of something breaking. You rinse your body quickly and turn the shower off, wrapping yourself in a towel, and you walk carefully to the kitchen. You see a glass shattered on the floor, you look around and everything is still where you had left it, the door was still locked as were the windows. You tried your best to shake that off as well, but you couldn't stop thinking about either of it. It was still on your mind when you walked into work that day, heading towards your cubicle, and you see a vase of dead roses placed nicely on your desk.

You were beginning to get thoroughly creeped out now and you weren’t sure who could be doing this. You went through your day with a terrible feeling in your stomach. As much as you tried to tell yourself it was okay, it wasn't and you were scared. That evening you didn't even bother to go home. You went straight to the bar, where Jaehyun just happened to be sitting.

“Hey stranger.” he smiles. “Double vodka and cran for her please.” he says to the bartender.

“Hi.” you say quietly.

“What's up? You okay?” he asks, seeming concerned.

“Some weird things happened today. I'm a little shaken up about it.” you admit.

“Like what?” he asks, adjusting his position.

“First I woke up to a picture of me sleeping on my table, then I was in the shower and a glass broke, and I went to work and there were a dozen dead roses on my desk.” you sigh, taking a big gulp of your drink. Jaehyun looks at you worriedly, but you wave him off.

“I'm sure it's just someone trying to be funny. Probably just a one time thing” you smile. “How was your day?” you ask.

“I really didn’t do much.” he sighs. “I ran a few errands, did a little bit of work and that was pretty much the most exciting thing,” he says. He still looks at you concerned, you roll your eyes at him.

“Everything is just fine.” you tell him. “I’m going to the bathroom, will you please stop worrying.” you laugh, trying to seem nonchalant about it. As soon as you were out of ear shot, Jaehyun pulls out his phone, dialing a very familiar number.

“Baekhyun, there’s something weird going on.” Jaehyun explains. “Someone is messing with her. Whoever it is has been in her apartment, and she’s acting like it’s nothing but I don’t think it is.”

“Do whatever you need to do to figure it out, Jaehyun, you need to keep her safe. Nothing fucking happens to her.” Baekhyun says before hanging up the phone.

Jaehyun hoped for the person’s sake, it was a one time thing.

It wasn’t a one time thing.

Unfortunately for the next few weeks, at least 4 times a week, something different happened. You swore you felt like you were losing your mind. You would wake up in the morning, go and turn on your coffee pot that always sat on your kitchen counter and then make your way to the bathroom while it brewed. When you would get out of the bathroom, you’d go back into the kitchen and your coffee pot would be on your island plugged into the outlet on the island and the pot was full of coffee.

You would buy groceries, put them away in their designated spots, and the next time you would go get said snack, it wouldn't be where you left it. In the mornings when you’d get into your car to go to work, you’d notice your rearview mirror would be adjusted into a different spot, and you tried to think if there was ever a time that you had actually adjusted it. When you would come home from work, to set your stuff down to get ready to walk to the bar, you would notice a dead rose laying in the middle of the floor of your bedroom. You would open the fridge, you’d see a wilted rose petal on the shelf. In the following days you had also found one in your bed, on your couch, in the bathroom, and in your car, along with your rearview mirror having been adjusted each time.

But tonight was the icing on the cake. You had gotten home from work, unlocked your door and entered your apartment. You walk in, placing your keys on the kitchen table when you hear a faint hissing. Your stomach drops as you look around. You look towards your bedroom and see nothing, but as you turn your head to look at the living room, you see the biggest snake you’ve ever seen, hissing and slithering quickly towards you. You never thought you could move so fast, being so scared. You let out the loudest shriek, before fumbling to get to the door, you needed to get out.

Now, you were extremely scared. You hadn’t told Jaehyun about any of the other things that were happening because you didn’t want him to worry about you, but now you were panicking that you weren’t going to be able to take care of yourself. On your way down the hallway, you run into movers bringing things into the vacant apartment that was two doors down from you. As you’re fast walking past the open door, a woman steps out into the hallway, trying to block your way. “Hi.” She says, but you’re not focused on her. You needed to get out of there, and find someone to help you, and you knew exactly who to find.

You ran into the bar and disappointment filled you, as you see Jaehyun’s usual seat is empty. You sit down next to it, pulling out your phone to call him as your usual drink is set down in front of you. Your call rings, but goes to voicemail after three rings. You decide to try again, but again it goes to voicemail and this time you leave one.

“Hey, it’s me.” you sigh. “I was really hoping you would be here tonight, some fucking weird stuff has been happening and i’m really scared. There was a goddamn snake in my apartment, and Jae, I don't know what to do. Please call me as soon as you get this.” you sigh. You hang up, and set your phone down on the bar and take a long sip of your drink to try and settle your shaking hand. You take a few deep breaths before your phone begins to ring. Quickly, you answer it, hoping it’s Jaehyun.

“Hello?” you ask.

No reply.

“Hello?” you say again, noticing an echo of your voice through the phone. You take the phone from your ear and look around, but there is barely anyone in the bar. “Who is this?” you ask, and again no response, just your voice faintly coming through, with the same song playing on both ends.

You end the call, and stand up. Something didn’t feel right. Your whole body was panicked, and your face must have showed it. You slapped a couple bills on the bar, not bothering to count it before you left. Just as you began heading for the door, Chanyeol stepped out from the back. He noticed your worried face, and scared body language. He tried to call out for you but you didn’t hear him. He pulls out his phone to call Baekhyun, he could feel something wasn’t right.

“She just left the bar. She didn’t look right, she looked scared, Baek. Jaehyun isn’t here, I don't know where he is but something’s not right.” Chanyeol says. Baekhyun doesn't reply, he hangs up the phone and Chanyeol questions himself, whether or not he did the right thing.

Shownu (Hyunwoo)

The phone call had been hard, and he hadn't slept for a couple of nights after you'd called and refused to come home when he'd asked.

After that, though, there seemed to be some kind of forward movement in how he felt. It isn't as if he forgot, of as if it hurt less, just like he...made room for it.

He's not the type to call you often or text you, but he'd sent a few checking in on you, and you'd respond sometimes, and sometimes you wouldn't

It was that more than anything else that bothered him, that you weren't communicating when you'd always been the one who dis most of the communicating.

It also got him thinking, though, that maybe that was part of the problem. That he didn't communicate, didn't tell you how he felt often enough.

It's three months before he runs into you at a boba tea shop, one that you'd always loved. He won't deny that he'd been going there mostly hoping that he'd see you, but after a while, he'd given up on that and enjoyed their milk boba tea.

He didn't see you right away, in fact he didn't see you at all until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hyunwoo?"

For a moment, it was like all the sound went out of the busy shop, like there was a tunnel with only your voice, you saying his name in a way he hadn't heard in months.

He doesn't speak, can't speak, feels like there's a rock in his throat but you sit down across from him anyway, your fingers sliding off his shoulder and he'd swear he could still feel them there, like you'd marked him through his sweater.

Hyunwoo had always thought that it'd be awful to see you with someone else, he'd comforted Hyungwon after his ex had gotten a new boyfriend last year and you'd been there along with him, making tea.

After the breakup he couldn't help thinking of that moment, how devastated Hyungwon had been, normally so stoic, and wondered how he would feel.

What Hyunwoo hadn't expected was how much it hurt to see you, period, even on your own, smiling softly at him from across the table. You were wearing a blouse that he'd bought you, a soft pink that complimented your hair and skin tone.

He clears his throat twice before he can say anything, thinking that all that room he'd made for the heartache had shrunk to nothing all of a sudden and it was taking up all the space in him, filling up all the empty spaces he'd made.

"You look good," he manages, and it sounds stupid and his cheeks flush hot. It's true, you do, and he knows he's lost weight, that his cheeks look gaunt instead of full like usual, knows that he doesn't look nearly as good as you do.

"You do too," you say softly, as if it isn't a lie, and he can barely look at you, his heart aches so much at the sight of you. "I didn't think you liked this place much."

"You did," he mumbles, finally catching your gaze and he feels frozen in place, like he can't break eye contact even if he wanted to.

You nod slowly, smile fading. "Yeah. Yeah, I did. I do."

It's awkward. Fuck, it's so awkward when everything had become so easy with you and he hates it, he can hardly breathe.

"I should go." He says it before he finishes his thought and scoots the chair back from the table and it makes a screeching sound on the hardwood and everyone is looking at him and he wonders if he might be having a panic attack.

You dart across the table, catch one of his hands in both of yours to stop him.

"Don't," you whisper. "Stay a while, let's catch up."

"i-I've been trying to catch up." His voice seems loud compared to yours, compared to the low, busy din of the shop. He's angry, now, his skin feels hot and he hasn't been angry, not this whole time, not the whole three months you've been gone. "I've been trying to talk to you."

"I know. I'm sorry." You catch one side of your bottom lip between your teeth and he's always found it cute and he still does but he's so angry.

He stands up without thinking it through, stands there for a moment before stalking outside. He can't stand the way the whole shop is staring at the two of you, can't stand the way you're staring at him, as if you feel sorry for him, as if he hadn't been inside you, lying on your flowery comforter, kissing along your cheekbones and the tip of your nose just a few months ago.

He's halfway to his car when you call out his name and you're nearly wheezing near the parking garage.

"God, you're so fast, your legs are so much longer than mine please-"

Goddamnit, you're cute and he can't help himself from stopping and turning to face you, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Why do you want to talk now?" He asks finally, looking down at you and you take a couple of deep breaths before meeting his eyes.

"I-I missed you," you say quietly and just like that, he's not angry anymore, not even a little.

His arms drop to his sides and he feels like he's breathing too hard to just have walked halfway to his car but all that space he'd made is filled now, filled with all the things he'd wanted to say to you threatening to spill out.

"Then why won't you talk to me? Why won't you answer my calls?"

"I needed to think. I needed to...try to remember why we split up."

He takes a deep breath through his nostrils, exasperated. "Why did we split up?"

You go on this long rant about how you've always felt like you weren't good enough for him, that he was too handsome and good and you were a nobody and he can't stand it, how you keep putting yourself down so he stops your words by pressing his mouth against yours.

You sputter when he pulls away and he can't help smiling and it feels strange, feels like he's using muscles that have atrophied.

Hyunwoo doesn't have trouble at all telling you all the reasons he fell in love with you, all the reasons he's still in love with you, after he puts you into the passenger side of his car, cups your face in his hands so that you won't turn away from him.

He kisses all the tears from your cheeks.

"Now, you'll come home, jagiya?"

The drive home seems to take forever and he can barely keep his eyes on the road.

He feels like he can breathe again when you're spooned against him in his bed, feels like he's home again and that everything will be easier from here.

Wonho (Hoseok)

It took him three weeks to start being angry, and god it was so much better than feeling devastated.

The gym becomes his religion and after three months he's gained twenty pounds of (mostly) muscle and delegated screenshots of your sweet texts and pictures of the two of you together to a folder that he only allows himself to look at once (or twice) a week.

He doesn't call you, doesn't text you, knows that he might say things he will regret because he's been here before.

You aren't his first heartbreak, but you might be the biggest, since he'd allowed himself to let down his walls with you in a way he hadn't for years.

He'd like to think that he doesn't still hope that you'll come home but that's a lie he can't even tell to himself. Part of him hopes that because he's working on himself, you'll realize that he's trying and contact him.

Three months, and you haven't so much as called, though, and he's trying hard not to think about it, so when Jooheon goes through his own breakup, Hoseok is grateful to have somewhere to put his energy that isn't just the gym.

Jooheon reminds Hoseok a lot of himself after the first time he'd had his heart broken, and even though Hoseok had given up the bad coping mechanisms and habits he'd had through that time, he doesn't judge the younger for indulging.

He hopes that eventually Jooheon's ex will come back around and he'll straighten up, because that certainly hadn't been the case for him.

It'd taken him years to get to where he is now, using something like the gym instead of a bottle to get him through a breakup, but he hopes for better for his friend.

So he goes out with Jooheon once a week or so, makes sure he doesn't do anything more stupid than he's already doing, and the others help out too, taking turns to watch out for him.

Hoseok knows that you enjoy clubs, liked to go out dancing with your friends and he'd even taken you a few times, sipping soda while buying you fruity cocktails, laughing at you being tipsy and touchy.

He's surprised, though, to see you out now, looking so happy dancing with your friends, glowing almost.

You'd said that you were holding him back but as he sits on the lobby couch waiting for Jooheon to return from the bathroom he wonders if he'd been the one holding you back.

Realistically, it's been three months and that might be enough time for you to move past the heartbreak, but it certainly hasn't been enough time for him and he starts to panic a little when he doesn't feel angry anymore, when darkness creeps up on him and his thoughts start to spiral.

You weren't good enough. You never have been. She was bored by you, tired of you because you're needy and clingy and useless.

He watches a bit longer than he should have because soon enough men are flocking to you and the group of girls you're with and there's a hand on your waist and Hoseok's heart feels like it might fall out of his mouth if he opened it, like it's stuck in his throat.

Jooheon returns soon enough, tugging Hoseok toward the bar and he tears his eyes away, tries to ignore it, sips on a bottle of water while Jooheon takes shots at the bar.

After an hour or so, he's looking for you in the crowd again, and he's looking so hard when a girl bumps into him he barely feels it.

"Sorry," she mumbles, a bit slurred and Hoseok rights her, laughing a little.

When he looks down, it's your eyes he looks into and he loses his breath, gasps out your name.

Your smile fades and you brace yourself on the bar and suddenly he's worried, wonders how much you've had to drink.

"Are you okay? Do you need a ride home?" He asks, nearly yelling over the music in the club, but you frown, something like anger across your face.

"I'm fine. Not your problem anymore."

Even over the club music your tone is harsh and at first it hurts, feels like an arrow in his chest but then he's angry again and that's better, more familiar.

Hoseok raises his hands. "Yes, princess, sorry for caring." He shoots back, and you stalk off, outside onto the deck the club has for smokers.

You don't smoke, and he doesn't either but he's following you outside before he can think better of it, because Jooheon has disappeared onto the dance floor and he'll be there for hours.

You're leaned up against the brick with your arms crossed and Hoseok thinks you're so cute when you're angry but how dare you be angry now.

You'd left, he hadn't. He'd begged you to stay, to talk it out, to work on things but you'd left and now--

Now all he can think is how he wants to kiss the worry lines on your forehead, around your eyes, the corner of your frowning mouth and somehow that longing just makes him angrier.

"What the fuck was that?" He can't stop his words and he knows it won't help to argue but he feels like he might implode if he doesn't get it out. "What are you so mad about?"

"Like you care," you mumble, and Hoseok realizes you're more than tipsy, drunk actually, in a way he'd seen on only the rarest occasion.

He calls your name and when you look up at him your eyes are glassy with tears.

"You never called. Not even a text." Your voice shakes when you speak.

Hoseok should still be angry. He should be livid that you left him but you're upset he didn't call, but he can only want to thumb tears off your cheekbones.

He takes a step forward by instinct alone and curses himself.

"You left me," he says, and it comes out soft instead of harsh like he'd wanted. "You left me, Y/n."

You start to sob then, nearly incoherent when you try to speak and cover your face with your hands.

He simply can't help himself, arms going around you like muscle memory, the way you bury your face in his chest making his breath hitch, for tears to burn at his eyes.

"I miss you so much," comes out of his mouth, and he hadn't even known he would say it until he did, voice breaking.

You hug him tight, still crying and he sits you down on the bench, brings you a bottle of water after a fight through the crowd to the bar.

You end up talking all night, and as you sober up you explain that you just weren't sure about how he felt, if this was as serious as you thought it was. You tell him that you know how badly his last relationship went and wondered if Hoseok would ever want to fully commit and he just stares at you, blinking in shock.

He can't be angry when you somehow hadn't known he was in love with you, that he thought you were the one made for him, and he tells you over and over, sliding close, arm around your shoulders.

Hoseok puts you to bed at his apartment, the one you'd spent the night in three to four nights a week, and he asks you to move in with him, once while you're still tipsy, wrapped up in one of his hoodies with puffy eyes, and once the next morning, when you groan at him, hungover, first thing.

You say yes once you've got some food in you, and Hoseok is all smiles, bouncing around and kissing you over and over.

Minhyuk

He's stubborn and willing to admit that, but this is ridiculous. He can't bring himself to call you, no matter how badly he misses you.

Even while he's drinking, he makes himself turn off his phone, can't stand to look at it and wonder if you've tried to contact him.

When you do call, he sends it straight to voicemail, lets his inbox fill up. He can't help feeling angry, petty even, because it was you who left, despite how the fight started.

He thinks about it all the time, the things he said, the things you said, you could be so cruel when you were angry, but so could he.

"I could find someone else so fucking fast," he'd said, and god, he doesn't even remember what he was so pissed off about.

You'd laughed, loud and bitter, almost a bark. "I could replace you in thirty seconds, don't try me."

He barely remembers the rest of the fight, everything blurred out by the moment that had made him freeze.

You'd started packing your things and he remembers being so angry that he'd packed for you, knowing in the back of his head this would be over soon and you'd both be crying and apologizing.

That hadn't happened, you'd left, even when he cracked and begged you not to go, and he finds that unforgiveable....

At least at first. The first month, he was angry, burying everything in casual sex and booze. Out every other night, until his friends grew concerned about him.

The second month, he could barely get out of bed. He hadn't changed the lockscreen of his phone and he'd just stare at it, this selfie of you blowing a kiss at the camera. He could barely keep up with his schedule and when he was at home he'd sleep as much as possible, trying to get away from his thoughts.

The beginning of the third month, he sees you, in all places, in a grocery store near his place.

Minhyuk knows your parents live far from the city so he was surprised to see you there, and even more surprised to see a guy with you, your arm linked through his as he pushed the cart.

Minhyuk had stopped in the middle of the aisle, all the breath going out of his lungs. He'd felt angry and then almost numb, but now it rushes in, the longing, the hurt, the panic. Everything he'd been trying to block out.

It isn't as if Minhyuk hasn't felt things. He'd fallen in love before, been hurt before, but he has issues feeling things when they happen because when he lets himself, he feels so much it's overwhelming.

It's overwhelming now, washing over him in waves, and it surprises him that he's not even jealous, not really, just....gutted.

He realizes slowly with horror that he's going to start crying if you speak to him and he backs out of the aisle quickly, knocking over a display of canned tomatoes.

Which of course, draws a lot of attention to him and he wants to phase through the floor he's so embarrassed.

He knows that you see him but he manages to abandon his cart and make it to the parking lot before you call his name.

His eyes are burning with tears and his chest hurts and he isn't sure he can do this.

He braces a hand against the car, doesn't speak.

"Minhyuk? I've been trying to get in touch with you..." you say slowly.

Your calls had stopped the week before and Minhyuk hadn't thought much of it at the time but it made sense, if you'd met someone...

"Yeah...I needed some time," he says, his voice strained, and he's sure he sounds like an asshole, but he's been an asshole, and now that he's feeling everything he should have been feeling already, he realizes it.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

Your steps lead away and he can't help it, he turns around, calls your name. He wipes at his eyes, trying to be discreet about it.

"Do you want to talk?"

You get in the passenger seat of his car after he opens it for you and he gets in.

When you look at him, your eyes are wet.

"You should have answered my calls."

"I know," he says, eyes burning as tears well in them again. "I know, baby. I should have."

"You're a fucking asshole." You say, but your voice is breaking, tears streaming down your face.

"I know," he chokes out. "Do you have a boyfriend now?"

He hates himself for asking but you let out a shaky laugh.

"What if I did?"

"I'd have to beg you to leave him and that'd be very embarrassing." He says firmly, and you laugh again and it sounds more genuine and it makes butterflies bloom in his stomach.

"Don't be stupid. How could I get another boyfriend when I can't stop thinking about you?"

Minhyuk lets out a long breath. "God, I'm so glad you said that. I've been crazy, baby. I just...I couldn't even think about it without losing it, so I tried not to think about it, and--"

You wipe at your eyes. "Yeah, I heard you were running a train of girls through your apartment," you say dryly, a flash of anger in your eyes. "But we can fight about that later, yeah?"

"You can hit me with a truck if you want to but will you please come home?" He begs, literally begs, if he had been outside he would have gotten down on his knees. He'd made it three months but fuck it, he'll risk it all just for the chance to have you back, and he's been stupid not to realize that.

You fly into his arms, climbing over the gearshift to kiss him over and over, and he can't stop crying for an embarrassingly long amount of time.

Back at home, when he's inside you again, moaning and kissing every inch of your face, he stops still as you whine, cupping your face.

"You can't ever leave me again," he says, and it sounds stupid and toxic but he can't help it, can't help spewing out everything he feels now that he finally has you back.

"Never," you promise, and Minhyuk doesn't know if this will last forever.

No one can know that, but he knows that he wants it to, and that's what matters.

Kihyun

You finally accept one of his calls after two months but it isn't what he'd hoped for.

"Every time you call it hurts me," you answer, words slow and there's music in the background, as if you're out with friends.

"Yeah? Then we should talk, shouldn't we?" He says automatically, desperate to see you. "Where are you? I could pick you up-"

You laugh and it's bitter and he hates it.

"That would just fuck me up and we both know it."

"What do you mean? Jagiya, please-"

He keeps begging to an empty phone line, not realizing you'd hung up for a moment and when he calls back over and over it goes straight to voicemail.

He bangs the back of his head against the headboard and he wants to down a bottle of wine but he stops himself.

That's how he'd spent the last two months, calling you drunk and maudlin, and that's not what he wants you to think of him.

He's realized, over less time than he'd thought, that he wants to be with you more than he's afraid of being hurt, and he just wants to tell you that.

The next month is agonizing because you've all but disappeared from social media and you won't contact him. He'd show up at your place if he wasn't afraid you'd call the cops. He's almost ready to do it anyway when you finally call, late, almost 2am.

"Jagiya?" He's not asleep when you call, lately he never sleeps, and again your words sound slow.

"Come pick me up. Fuck me up."

It's like something is blooming in his chest but it hurts, too, how you only call when you've been drinking, and how you think it's a bad idea.

Fuck, maybe it is, maybe this is all a bad idea but he's driving to the location you send so quickly he barely remembers to put on his coat despite it being the middle of winter.

You're wearing less clothes than you should be in this weather so he wraps you in it the second you get into the passenger seat of your car, snaps on your seatbelt for you, an instinct from when you were together.

"I'm sorry," is the first thing he says and your eyes widen in surprise.

"I don't think you've ever said that to me."

"I should have," he insists, keeping the car running. He doesn't even know where to take you but he just wants to take you home.

"But you didn't," you say, angry, and you have every right to be.

"I didn't," he says, more softly.

"Was it because you weren't ready?" You ask, voice shaking. "Because...because you didn't trust me?"

Kihyun makes a distressed sound in the back of his throat. "Of course I trust you, it's not like that, I--" he sighs, runs a hand through his hair and he can't keep his eyes off you.

Your eyes, the way the corners of your mouth twitch when he speaks, as if you might smile or frown. He loves every little thing about you but he hasn't been able to say it.

"I love you," he says, finally says it and the world doesn't shatter.

You seem to, though, breaking down in sobs and Kihyun hates himself, even if you're drunk and emotional he hates that he made you feel so upset.

He reaches out to you but you pull away.

"That's the first time you've said that, in 8 months, Kihyun. After I've left. Does it mean anything now?"

Now it feels like the world shatters, and his lip trembles and he hates the tears burning in his eyes. "It does. I swear it does, jagiya, I love you so much I can't stand it."

"Then why did you argue with me so much? Why did you push me away? It was like it was on purpose, Ki, picking fights-"

"I know," he interrupts. "I know, I was just...I didn't realize what I was doing until it was too late. "I know you're seeing someone.." The words stick in his chest, something burning like acid in the back of his throat even to say it. "But I needed you to know. I love you."

"Stop saying that," you gasp, sobbing, and he reaches out to you again and you let him pull you into his arms, burying your face in his chest.

"I should have said it every day," he insists, voice hoarse.

You just sob into his chest and he runs his fingers through your hair, hums to comfort you.

"Can I take you home?" He asks when you die down to a sniffle, and you look at him, searching his face.

"Are you going to hurt me again?" You ask, voice soft and broken.

Kihyun feels like you've stabbed him in the stomach. "No. No, never, jagiya. I promise."

That's a lie and he knows it, when you love someone, you end up hurting them, even if it's in little ways. He knows that because he's loved before, and so do you, but he can promise that he will never intentionally hurt you, and that might be enough.

When you're wrapped in his arms on the couch and he's feeding you little sips of water he can't help laughing when you get the hiccups, you can be so cute when you're drinking.

He loves you so much it scares him, that much is still true, because he's thinking about what happens when the morning comes, if you might run back to your boyfriend, try to forget all about Kihyun.

He can't even bear to think of it, and he can't sleep even when you fall asleep on his shoulder and he carries you to bed.

He watches you sleep, off and on, even while he's trying not to think, because you're beautiful and he's missed you, and before he knows it he's worried himself to daylight, just lying in bed and scrolling through his phone next to you.

When you wake, you're hungover and you blink at him a few times as if you're not sure where you are and panic rises in his throat.

When you get back from the bathroom he's worried his bottom lip bloody, worried that you'll grab your bag and go.

You stand in the bedroom for a moment, as if you're considering that very thing and he sits up.

"You didn't sleep at all?" You ask, and he swallows, shaking his head. He feels a bit dizzy, he's going on 48 hours without sleep and he feels almost drunk from it.

He scoots to the end of the bed, reaches out to take your hand.

"Couldn't," he admits. "I was worried you'd leave."

"I should leave," you say, and he nods, a headache forming at his temples.

"Probably," he says, voice hoarse and cracking from lack of sleep and the tears caught in his throat. "Do you want me to beg you to stay?"

Your eyes widen. "Would you?"

Kihyun takes your other hand, pulling you closer, between his legs, moving his hands to your hips, looking up at you with wet eyes.

"Please stay," he begs, and buries his face in your stomach, kissing you there. "Please don't go."

You freeze for a moment and he thinks you'll leave after all, but instead you drop your hand into his hair, thread your fingers through it and he sighs, feeling like it's easier to breathe with you touching him.

You stay, all day, and he knows eventually you'll have to collect your things, end your relationship, leave his house.

He has a million questions about your new relationship and what you plan to do about ending it but he bites back every word, knowing that he has no right to ask them.

Kihyun knows that when you do go, even if it's just to make a trip, he'll worry himself half to death before you return, but he keeps his mouth shut. He'd let his words and actions control him before and it had pushed you away, so he'll deal with whatever concern he has on his own, communicate with you about it when things are more stable.

He doesn't know what will happen next, can't promise that you won't leave him heartbroken in the end, and he still can't sleep with how strongly he feels worry and fear, just watches you, pushing your hair back from your face as you sleep.

You're worth the risk.

Hyungwon

MAfter he'd seen you out and you'd waved at him like he was an old friend, like you'd never meant anything to each other at all, Hyungwon has an admittedly hard time.

It's hard for him to understand how you can feel that way when he still feels like he's drowning, like he's barely keeping his head above water, trying to avoid a tidal wave of emotions.

"Maybe she just keeps it to herself," Hyunwoo suggests when Hyungwon breaks down and tells him what happened. "I'm not one to outwardly show my feelings, and you aren't either, so maybe-"

"No. No, I know her, she's not like that. She wears her heart on her sleeve." Hyungwon insists, tone blank and numb, like the rest of him.

You do wear your heart on your sleeve, you always have, and it was one of the things he loved about you.

You'd been the one to ask him out, in fact, smiling brightly and telling him how handsome you thought he was, and he had been shocked but flattered.

He really hadn't even thought of you that way until you'd confessed, but it was alarming how quickly he'd fallen after you'd started dating.

You were just so bright and open, talkative in a way he had never been, and it was endearing.

You were just as bright when he'd seen you walking with your new boyfriend, just as sweet and friendly when you'd waved and smiled at him, and it was like you'd punched him in the stomach, taken all the wind out of his lungs.

You'd needed a break, that's what you said, and Hyungwon feels stupid for taking that at face value. He'd assumed a break was all you needed, been willing to give you space and hadn't forced a conversation or come to your house, even though he'd had the urge to do so, many times.

He wonders now if you'd met someone before you'd broken up, needed the break to figure things out and just...chosen someone else.

He won't even allow himself to voice that thought out loud to his hyung, worried that something might show on Hyunwoo's face that confirmed it. Hyunwoo was right about not outwardly showing his emotions, but his thoughts were often a different matter.

Hyungwon tries not to even think it, feeling like it's a betrayal of trust to even consider the idea that you might have been emotionally cheating, but he can't help himself and it spirals.

He doesn't sleep the first night after he sees you, and only manages a few hours the night after that, and so on until he feels like he might pass out at practice.

He's sent home and he feels like a failure, tears pricking at the backs of his eyelids when he lies on the bed and tries to rest, ordered to do so by the choreographer.

Hoseok comes to check on him, brings him food that he barely picks at, tries to cheer him up with joking around and putting on Hyungwon's favorite k-drama.

Hyungwon is grateful but he can't say it helps much other than distracting him for a few hours, which is as helpful as it gets these days.

He can't react like Jooheon has been with his breakup, going out, letting out all his emotions through drinking and clubbing and throwing shit around his studio.

Hyungwon's always been more low key than that, and he'd like to sleep the days away but he hasn't even been able to do that for one of the first times in his life.

On the third day, with only 6 hours of sleep in almost three days, he can't stop himself from calling you.

It's the first time he's called since you left and he half expects to be sent to voicemail so he's surprised when it keeps ringing, and even more surprised when you answer, sounding as bright as always.

"Wonnie! It's so good to hear from you!"

Hyungwon sqeueezes his eyes closed, feeling like they're full of glass from crying and sleep deprivation.

He asks to meet up with you and you say yes with no hesitation, agreeing to meet him at his apartment in an hour.

He cleans up frantcially, all his dirty laundry pushed under the bed, taking the dishes to the kitchen and stuffing them in the dishwasher without running it.

He manages to get his apartment looking halfway decent before you get there, and at least that is a comfort.

You look amazing, smiling at him as he opens the door and he wonders if he looks as devastated as he feels.

He figures he must, because your smile fades when you come inside. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he says automatically, and then sits down heavily on the couch, rubbing a hand across his face and letting out a chuckle. "No."

"Wonnie, what is it?" You sit down next to him, close, and his throat feels tight.

If this were a few months ago you'd have curled your legs up on the couch, tucked your head onto his shoulder.

"Your boyfriend doesn't mind you coming here?" The words come out like venom, burning in the back of his throat. Maybe he's angrier than he'd thought, because he hadn't planned to mention your new relationship at all.

"What? What is that supposed to mean?"

Your tone isn't angry as much as it is surprised and Hyungwon looks at you, jaw clenched.

"I mean, if it were me I wouldn't like my girl meeting up with her ex at his place."

"Hyungwon, I don't-"

He can't even let you finish, more questions swirling in his mind and they just come spilling out.

"Did you meet him while we were together? Is that why you left? Is he why you left?"

"What? No, I left because-"

"Because why, Y/n? You didn't give me a single reason!"

He is angry, livid even, and he hadn't even realized it until now.

"If you'd let me finish," you huff out and he shuts his mouth, blocking even more questions and accusations.

"I just needed some time, Wonnie." You tell him softly, putting a hand on his knee, and your touch causes him to flinch.

"Time for what? To start seeing someone else?"

"No! Just...I was feeling like we were stuck in a rut, like you...like you weren't really interested in me anymore."

"What are you talking about, I'm crazy about you!" He nearly yells it and you giggle a little and he huffs out another breath. "It's not funny, Y/n, I've been going crazy!"

You blink at him again in shock. "You...you have?"

He looks at you, frowning and incredulous. "Yeah, obviously! My girlfriend dumped me for seemingly no reason and then I see you out with someone else and you just fucking...wave, like everything is fine."

You frown back. "Of course everything isn't fine. What was I supposed to do, chase you down and beg you to talk to me?"

"I mean, yeah! I would have loved that. You asked me for space and so I gave it to you but I didn't want to, Y/n."

"You-you didn't?"

You sound uncertain which isn't a usual tone for you, and Hyungwon takes your hand, squeezing it gently.

"Of course not. I love you, Y/n. I didn't want to break up."

"Why didn't you say that? When I brought it up you were so...so reasonable about everything."

He frowns and suddenly he's angry all over again. "Are you trying to say that you dumped me and got a new boyfriend because I didn't protest enough?"

"No! I just...I did think we needed space. I felt like you were so busy and you were pulling away from me and maybe if...if I let you miss me a little."

"A little?" He explodes. "It's been three fucking months!"

"I know, but-" Your eyes are welling with tears and Hyungwon is breathing hard he's so upset but he can't help himself from squeezing your hand again, taking in a deep breath to calm himself.

"You should have talked to me about it instead of-"

"I tried to talk to you!" You burst out, crying in earnest now. "I tried but you always blew me off because you had something else to do."

Hyungwon thinks back and he had blown you off, even thought he didn't think of it that way at the time. He'd really just been busy and he'd thought there would always be time later...

"Shit," he curses as he realizes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Y/n, I didn't realize that you were trying to talk to me about something important."

You sniffle. "It doesn't matter now."

Anger had been somewhat freeing, seemed useful in a way that feeling just heartbroken hadn't been, but now it drops down on him like an anvil, weighing him down, slumping his shoulders.

"I guess not," he says quietly. "You've moved on, yeah?"

"What?" He's looked away from you, not wanting you to see how hurt he is, but you take his chin in one of your hands to force him to look at you.

"Wonnie, no. I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't moved on. I was so excited when you called, I-"

Hyungwon stares at you. "Wait, go back. You don't have a boyfriend?"

You shake your head. "No, that was just a friend, we went to the new boba place together."

Hyungwon feels like something has broken loose in his chest, letting out a breath, relieved tears springing to his eyes.

"So...we could...we could get back together?"

"Please," you sniffle again, wiping your tears with the back of one hand while still holding his hand with the other tightly.

He pulls you into his arms, into his lap until you're laughing at how he's manhandling you, hugging you tightly against him.

He's so happy to have you back that he can't be angry anymore, at least not now. Later, it might come up, but he's willing to communicate things more effectively with you, especially after this misunderstanding.

As long as he has you, he can work through anything.

Jooheon

Jooheon knows he's a mess. He knows he can't go on like this, drinking and partying too much, calling you and leaving voicemails that you probably don't even listen to.

He knows he has to change the way he's coping eventually, but after three months, he can't seem to get it together.

He'll have a couple of good days and think that maybe things will be better, that he can actually do this, get through it without all the bad coping mechanisms, and then something happens.

Once, it's finding a pair of your socks under his bed. Once it's someone tagging him in an old photo of the two of you together on Instagram.

Both times, he feels like there's this hollow void in his chest and stomach, something he needs to fill but he can barely eat and it doesn't help anyway.

Not much does, but if he goes out drinking and dancing he can distract himself for a few hours, fuzz out his thoughts and pretend that he can deal with it later.

Now, it is later and he still isn't dealing and his friends are worried about him and you still won't talk to him.

"I know. I know, hyung, I'll do better," he promises Kihyun when the elder is walking him into his apartment, or well, carrying might be a better term.

The sad thing is, this isn't even the most inebriated he's been this month. This week, even.

He's fucking up so much at practice he's had to have a meeting with a manager, and that sucked, but what was infinitely worse was the subsequent meeting with Hyunwoo.

He'd expected his hyung to do his normal dad "I'm not angry; I'm just dissappointed," but it was worse than that, which he didn't even know was possible.

"I understand you're going through something," he'd said. "And I'll mitigate the damages from management as much as I can, but you have to work with me, honey. Okay?"

Jooheon hadn't been able to speak, sobs catching in his chest, and he'd had his twelfth emotional breakdown of the last three months.

Hyunwoo had hugged him tight and Jooheon had felt a little better afterward, like something bitter and viscous had been removed from his lungs.

That had been a good day, when he'd gotten food in him and some sleep, but the day after had been...not so good.

He'd been working on a beat, which was astronomical in terms of progress since he hadn't so much as looked at his studio equipment since the breakup.

The search history on his laptop was embarrassing (google "how to get over a breakup," "how to get your ex back without being a humiliating mess," "how many shots in a bottle of Casimigos), so he'd gone to the studio instead of working in his room.

He gets stuck on a lyric and opens up the browser and apparently the last thing he'd looked at on it (more than three months ago), had been your Instagram page.

He knows he should close the page immediately, maybe disable the wifi all together, but of course, he doesn't, because he's incapable of making good decisions after you'd left.

He scrolls through your page and sees a picture of you kissing the camera, your lips plump and pink with lip gloss and a smile in your eyes and that's enough to make him close the window, shut down the desktop and text Changkyun to see if he'll go out to a dive bar with him.

Jooheon remembers the first hour vividly, buying a round of shots for the bar and then others kept buying him drinks in kind and then everything goes blurry around the edges and Kihyun is picking them up, bitching about the late hour and how drunk they both are.

Changkyun makes it to his room without help but Kihyun puts his head under Jooheon's right armpit to get him to his room, complaining about how heavy he is.

"I'll be better," Jooheon mumbles, and Kihyun sighs, looks down at him with worry lines between his eyes and Jooheon hates himself, closes his eyes against the burn of tears and then everything goes blissfully black for a while.

He wakes up to the ringing of his phone, which is odd because no one ever actually calls him except for Jackson, who's been too busy to call much, and management, who definitely wouldn't call after midnight.

He answers it without looking at the screen and barks out a "What?"

"Shit. Shit, Joo, I'm sorry, I didn't realize how late-"

Jooheon sits up on the bed so quickly that the world spins sideways, clearing his throat, when he hears your voice.

"No, no, it's okay. What's wrong?"'

There's something weird rolling in his stomach, some complicated and conflicting emotions like panic and hope and worry, when you don't answer, a long pause.

There's music in the background.

"Where are you? Do you need me to come get you?"

"Yes," you say quickly. "Yes, please, I'll explain when you get here-"

Fuck.

He can't drive he'll kill himself or someone else.

"Send me your location, I'm coming," he says, putting you on speaker to schedule an Uber.

Jooheon doesn't ask any questions, it doesn't matter, he'll be there no matter what is going on, just looks down at his ruffled clothes and shrugs before heading outside.

Luckily no one else is awake to yell at him for leaving the house this drunk but he's slept some of it off, at least, and he can walk in a straight line.

He's hanging his head out the window, looking for you, because you've sent a street corner with nothing on it and finally he sees you standing away from a group of people.

You all but run to the car and he wonders what's gone wrong.

He asks the Uber to wait, gets out to meet you and before you can speak a guy behind you calls your name.

"Y/n! Hey, where are you going?"

He's obviously drunk, more drunk than Jooheon, even, and Jooheon narrows his eyes at him when he grabs your arm.

You widen your eyes and look afraid and that's all it takes, Jooheon takes a swing at him and catches him in the cheekbone.

It's not by any means a good punch, Jooheon's been losing weight and he hasn’t been in a fight since he was 9 but he beat the shit out of that kid and he’s planning to do the same to this guy.

Luckily for everyone involved, the guy yells "Ow!" and backs off, rubbing his cheek.

You give him a grateful look and slide into the Uber without a word and Jooheon follows.

The Uber driver raises an eyebrow but otherwise doesn't complain and Jooheon rates him five stars and gives him a hefty tip before sliding in beside you.

You lean over to whisper to him, "Thank you."

It's a lovely moment and you're so close and he reaches out to hug you but then you wrinkle your nose and flinch back.

"Jesus fucking Christ, you smell like you drank a liquor store."

He pauses and drops his arms, chuckles a little. "Not the whole liquor store."

He wonders if he's slurring his words, your face is going in and out of focus even though he's able to concentrate and stop the blurring.

He's more drunk than he thought even after a nap, and you're looking at him curiously.

"I can't judge; I've been drinking too. Not as much as you, obviously." You say dryly, and he laughs.

You're funny. You've always been so funny and a wave of more complicated emotions washes over him: fondness, longing, sadness.

This is why he can't keep his shit together, he thinks. He can't pinpoint a specific emotion to focus on, he feels everything when he doesn't distract himself, and with you close to him, it's so much worse.

"I miss you," he blurts out, and it definitely is slurred and you look up at him, the corners of your mouth twitching in a weak smile.

"Missed you too, Honey."

You touch his pinky with yours and it makes his heart race like he's back in high school. He can't help himself from twining his fingers through yours and you don't pull away.

He holds your hand the rest of the drive home in silence, his heart thudding hard against his breastbone.

"Are we going to your place?" You ask, but there's no uncertainty in your tone so he just nods.

When you arrive it takes him thirty seconds to get the damn door open because it's an unfamiliar car, not because of the booze, surely, and you giggle at him and it makes him feel on top of the world.

Jooheon has a memory, almost like a flashback, of tossing you on his bed, tugging at your ankles to spread your legs apart, just a few months before, and he clears his throat, can't look at you when you sit down on the bed, taking off your heels.

"Are you okay?"

You look up at him with a sigh. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Thank you for picking me up. I know....I know things aren't great between us right now."

You look away and he wants to take your chin in his hand, make you look at him, kiss your pursed mouth, but instead he sits down hard on the bed next to you, bouncing you a little, your skirt riding up, bare thigh flush against his.

He looks down at your skin, wants to run his fingers along it, and looks away, blowing out a harsh breath. That's not what's important right now, how much he wants to touch you, how it's this longing deep in his chest, rising up his throat.

"What happened?"

You let out an "ugh" sound and plop down faceup on the bed, your bare feet grazing the carpet.

"Nothing, really, that guy just wouldn't leave me alone and I was there by myself so I felt kind of....scared."

The last word comes out small and Jooheon frowns.

"You shouldn't go out by yourself."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. My friends were tired, though."

Jooheon nods slowly. "Yeah, my friends get tired of me too."

You laugh softly and when he looks down at you it's another flashback, his favorite rerun, you looking up at him from his bed with a fond smile.

He feels so full of emotion and so empty at the same time, another contradiction, and he's too tired and drunk to stop the words coming out of his mouth.

"I'm trying to be better." He pauses, trying to collect his thoughts, but thery're all over the place and instead he just keeps talking. "I'm trying to get it together, Y/n, but it's...."

"Impossible?" You ask softly, and his gaze shoots to yours.

"Yeah." His voice sounds hoarse to his own ears and he lies back next to you, leaning his head against yours. "Yeah, impossible."

"Me too," you admit, and he's surprised.

"Really?" He hates himself for feeling better that you aren't doing well. He'd had this idea that he was a mess while you were doing fine, since you wouldn't answer his calls.

You reach down to wrap your fingers around his forearm and the touch soothes him, makes him feel like things might actually get better.

"Yeah. Drinking and dancing and hanging out with strange dudes isn't as fun when you do it like, every other night."

"You been hanging out with a lot of dudes?" When you don't answer, Jooheon curses. "I'm sorry. That's stupid. I'm stupid, ignore me."

You laugh. "If I could do that, I'd probably be doing a lot better."

Jooheon frowns. "You have been."

"Not in my head," you say quietly, and he turns on his side to look into your eyes.

"God, I'm so happy to hear you say that," he breathes. "All I do is try not to think about you."

You sniffle, eyes welling with tears. "All I've heard is that you're out all the time, figured you'd picked up another girl by now."

Jooheon scoffs. "I'm a fucking mess, even if I wanted to pick someone up they'd be repulsed."

"You underestimate how handsome you are."

You're looking at him in a way he knows, in a way he's intimately familiar with, and all of him wants to close the distance and kiss you but you've both been drinking and he feels dismayed at the idea of your first kiss since the breakup being at a time like this.

"Y/n," he says slowly, but it's you who closes the distance, kisses him hard and needy, and he's powerless to stop himself from wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer.

After a few long moments he pulls away, breathing hard.

"We can't do this right now."

You whine, pouting, and he wants to nip at your full bottom lip but he stops himself.

"If you still want to kiss me in the morning..."

Jooheon is surprised when you break out into a smile.

"Don't remember you being such a gentleman."

After that, it turns into talking all night instead of kissing, and instead of not sleeping because he can't keep from feeling all those complicated emotions, he doesn't sleep because he's talking things out with you.

By the end of it he's crying and you're crying and the sun is coming up and the alcohol is wearing off enough that he's getting a headache at his temples.

You suggest ordering breakfast but before either of you can make a move to do so, you're snoring against his chest, lying on top of him with your thighs around his waist, and what is he supposed to do? Move and disturb you? Never.

Eventually, you do get breakfast, and you talk more, seems like you've both talked for two days before you finally work things out.

It isn't easy, and with the two of you both being sensitive and emotional, it probably never will be, but nothing good is ever easy.

Changkyun (I.M)

For a solid week after you'd broken off the sexual relationship, Changkyun can't feel anything.

He's numb in a way that he's never experienced before, and it's a little scary but he has to admit it's better than what he was feeling before.

It doesn't help him get back into the swing of things, though, in fact it's the opposite, he's sleeping all the time and missing practice, barely able to focus in meetings.

After a brief period of crying to his hyungs and getting advice from them, he's gone radio silent about the breakup and everyone tiptoes around the subject, never even speaking your name.

Changkyun hopes that the numbness, when it fades, fades into moving on, since six months has gone by since the breakup, and three since you've broken off everything, even the brief reprieve he got when he was inside you, kissing you hard and dirty because if he did it softer, you'd push at him, tell him to stop it.

"That's not what this is, Kyun," you'd said harshly, the last time he'd kissed you soft and sweet, so he'd huffed out a breath and pushed you against the wall, left marks along your throat, and you'd liked that better, even if it made him feel hollow inside.

It was the only way he could be close to you, so he did what you wanted...until you broke things off, even physically.

"I can't keep doing this," you'd said after he was lying panting beside you, hoping you'd let him pull you into his arms.

He'd sat up, panicked, but you were already pulling on your clothes.

"Why? I'm not...I didn't ask for more..."

It's pathetic, he's pathetic and he hates himself.

"It doesn't matter. I'll always want..." you pause, stop yourself, grab your purse.

"Wait, Y/n-"

Before he could get any words out you'd left, and after a few desperate hours in which he'd bought a burner phone and tried to get you to talk to him, the numbness had swept over him.

As much as that felt better than being heartbroken, his hyungs didn't feel the same way, and did everything they could to get him out of his funk.

Nothing worked, until Jooheon coaxed him out to a house party of a mutual friend, where Changkyun nursed a beer, standing against the wall in the kitchen where he's people watching.

Things are pretty crazy, a girl dancing barefoot on a kitchen table, a couple making out against a fridge, a guy doing a keg stand.

He catches the girl on the table's eye after a moment and then all the air seems to thin in the room when he realizes that the shade of her eyes are a very familiar color.

"Shit," he curses to himself, chugging the rest of his beer and feeling like someone had thrown a spear through his gut, and you're climbing down off the table and if you so much as speak to him he knows he'll never feel numb again.

He makes it to the liquor table, manages a shot before you touch his arm.

"Kyunnie, please, can we talk?"

Your voice sounds so small and his throat feels full and he can't look at you.

"No," he says firmly, pouring himself another shot, and when a girl asks him to dance, he's so grateful he could kiss her.

When he catches your eye once more, he does kiss her, almost in a panic, knowing that you'll draw him right back in, and it's Jooheon who ruins everything, pulling him away by his shoulders.

"What the hell are you doing? Y/n is right there, didn't you see her?"

Changkyun wishes he hadn't seen you, wishes he'd never even met you at all, but it's too late now and everything's coming back up and he feels nauseous with it, with all the hurt and anger boiling back up in his stomach.

He looks over your head for the girl, finds her finally (he didn't quite catch her name, doesn't even quite remember what she looks like but her eyes light up when he calls out "hey!) and beckons her over.

Changkyun looks at you, finally, smirking, feeling some sense of victory, and your eyes are welling with tears and how is he ever supposed to feel numb again when he still loves you so fucking much?

He needs more booze, he needs to kiss this girl again, he needs something to keep it from coming back.

When he takes the girl's hands, you angrily wipe at your tears with the heels of your hands.

"So that's how you're going to play this? This is what we're doing? Okay."

Your voice sounds alarmingly flat and panic rises in his throat when you stalk away. He suddenly has tunnel vision, ignoring the girl he'd gone to such trouble to find and watching you weave your way through the crowd and when he loses sight of you, the panic takes over and he starts to follow you even as his brain screams at him to stop.

When he catches up to you, you're sitting on the kitchen counter with some guy's hand high up on your thigh and Changkyun wants to throw him across the room.

Instead, he pushes him out of the way, pulls you down from the counter, and you let him take your hand and lead you out to the balcony.

"I'm sorry," he bursts out, and why is he apologizing? You were the one who had left, cut things off when all he wanted was to be close to you, to get back together, and now you won't even talk to him.

"I tried so hard," you start, your voice reedy and shaking. "I tried so hard to fall out of love with you, Kyun."

The breath he takes in feels like broken glass in his chest. "I don't want you to fall out of love with me."

"You hurt me," you accuse, a sob catching in your chest and fuck, it hurts so much to see you crying, even after all this. "You said such awful things to me that night and I just...I don't fucking deserve this, Kyun!"

"You didn't....you wouldn't even talk to me, you-"

"You came and said all these things, like you loved me and that you were sorry and then you just wanted to fuck me and now you show up at this party making out with some random girl and I'm supposed to just....deal with it? Not talk to anyone else? I'm supposed to be home waiting around on you to booty call me again?"

He stands there, shellshocked, his mouth open for a moment. It's slow, the realization that it's how it seemed to you, that after the fight he wanted sex, of all things, when really it was just the only way he could think to be close to you.

"God, I'm so fucking stupid!"

Changkyun realizes he's laughing too late and you're trying to open the balcony doors but he puts his arms around your waist, hugs you tight against him and you're stiff for only a moment before you collapse, crying.

"You've got it all wrong, honey. I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry, for what I said that night, for everything. For being too stupid to realize how it must seem to you..."

He explains everything, how he'd thought it was the only way to be close to you again, that you were done with him, and rightfully so, and you stare at him for a long moment before you yell at him for being an idiot, and he absolutely deserves it.

He can't stop smiling, though, when you go to push at his chest and instead hug him tightly, wrap your arms around his neck, pull him down to kiss him hard, because it's not like the last time.

“Happy birthday, baby,” you smirk, unbuttoning your blouse. 

“Thank you, wife,” he whispers, pulling his shirt over his head. 

You slide your skirt off in a swift motion, revealing your grey thong, his favorite color. You opted not to wear a bra under your shirt, and he was aware of this fact when you met him for dinner later on after work.

“You are so beautiful,” he admires your body, not caring about the scars you carry. “I’m lucky to be yours.”

Your heart softens at his words, and you pull him close to you, falling back on the bed as he takes over your whole body. His lips suck on the skin on your neck, leaving his marks along the way to your breasts. He cups them, taking one nipple and sucking on them with such care, your body on fire with the way he flicks his tongue on each mound. 

“Oh fuck,” you moan, your center already dripping from the electricity spreading throughout your body. 

“You’re going to be saying more of that,” he warns, leaving your breasts and nipping his way down to your center. You two make eye contact, and his pupils are dilated, the carnal energy radiating off of him as he rips your panties off of you.

“Those were my favorite pair,” you pout, kneeing your legs together. 

“I’ll buy you ten more,” he rasps, opening up your legs wider and attacking you with his tongue. 

He fiendishly eats you with a hunger that only he can satisfy, licking your sweet folds like it was his last meal. You cry out as he pulls you closer to his mouth, sucking on your clit and slipping his fingers inside of you. Your back instantly arches, your essence leaving a mess on the sheets as he finger fucks you into an orgasm, obsessed with you cuming on his face. 

“That’s a good girl,” Jaebeom cooes, licking your juices as your release hits you like a thunderbolt. 

He doesn’t let up, sucking on you until you are clean, his face marked with you all over him. He gets up slowly, shoving his pants and briefs onto the floor, his arousal on full display. He pulls you by your hair, bringing your face closer to his manhood, his scent making your mouth salivate.

“Can I please suck it?” You ask with pleading eyes. 

“Should I let you?” He teases, slapping his dick on your cheek. “You decided to not wear a bra in public, your nipples on full display for EVERYONE to see. Do you deserve to suck my cock?”

“No, sir,” you shake your head, your hand now touching his shaft. “Let me make it up to you. Please.”

Jaebeom loves it when you beg, and tonight was nothing different. He pulls your head back, looking into your eyes, bending down, and giving you wet kisses. His hand is on your throat, exactly where you like it. 

“I’ll be nice because it’s my birthday, and I love you,” he says softly, standing up and positioning himself in front of you.

You take his member, slapping it on your tongue before slurping on his head. His breathing hitches and you smirk, taking more of him in your mouth and sucking him in. Looking up at him lovingly, you increase your pace, moving your fingers down to your folds and rubbing yourself. 

“You take me in your mouth so well, baby,” he slurs, his fists clenching your hair. 

“Mmhmm,” you moan, feeling the ecstasy from rubbing your sex.

Jaebeom lets go of your hair and grabs hold of your face, increasing your speed and allowing his member to the back of your throat. You can feel his member twitch in your mouth, and you are prepared to swallow his load, but he unexpectedly pulls out, motioning you to lay on the bed. 

“I need to feel you against my body,” his need for you evident in his voice.

He lifts your legs up and puts them on his shoulders, shoving himself in and immediately pounding into you.

“Oh fuck,” you cry out, digging your nails into his arms.

“I told you,” he grunts, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he goes feral. 

Your breasts jump freely as Jaebeom continues his onslaught, your screams taking over the walls in your apartment. You reach and pinch your nipples, the sparks flying as your hard mounds are sensitive to your touch.

“Fuck, you look so beautiful,” he says, slowing his movements temporarily as he lifts you up in the air. He lines himself up with your entrance, thrusting into you roughly as you cling on to his neck.

You look into his lustful eyes and kiss him, your moans landing on his lips, the perfect music to his ears. Your stomach coils and you warn him that you are almost there,  your breathing getting short and your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

“I’m almost there too, love,” his legs shake, his movements getting sloppier. “I’m going to fill you up, okay? I want to give you the baby we’ve been wanting.”

As if that was a cue, you convulse around him, shaking violently as you cry out his name, your nails digging further into his neck. He pumps into you savagely, his hot load coating deep inside of you as he shudders, laying you back down onto the bed. His movements slow, and he leaves kisses all over your sweaty face, making you giggle at how silly he can be after sex.

“I can’t wait for us to be parents,” Jaebeom confesses, leaving one last kiss on your lips. “You are going to be the best mom.”

You don’t have words to say; instead, you leave a soft kiss on his forehead before he reluctantly pulls out of you, heading into the bathroom. You hear him start the bath, and you get up, wincing at the bit of pain you feel in between your legs. Jaebeom comes out shortly, carrying you into the tub he filled with Epsom salt, washing your body before laying you into the tub. He climbs in behind you, shutting off the water, speaking to Alexa, and some soft music playing shortly after.

“Relax, my baby,” Jaebeom commands, massaging my neck and shoulders. 

“It’s your birthday. I’m supposed to be taking care of you,” you remind him.

“Me taking of you is all I want to do today, and for the rest of my life,” he says, kissing the back of my neck.

“Wait, no!” Hoseok cries as he prevents you from dropping your arms, reaffixing them to his waist. His hips fall flush to yours, his hardness pressing into you and stealing the air from the room. He rolls his eyes with faux frustration, his radiant grin giving him away. “What question am I answering again?”

“The one where I asked why you told the whole entire planet that you take a shit before you start your day.”

His answering laughter is loud, head thrown back as it consumes him, and your heart thrums painfully in your chest. God, you had missed him.

Hoseok leads you towards the bed, dropping to sit at the edge as you hover between his open legs. 

“You’re the one who told me I needed to be more open and honest with my feelings,” he murmurs, leaning forward to press his lips to the curve of your collarbone. “I was just following your advice. The interviewer seemed to like it.”

His sinful mouth continues its trek across your skin, slowly sliding up your shoulder towards the pulse of your throat. Moaning, heat pools low in your belly, your core clenching at his touch.

He bites down and you gasp, hands digging in his hair. “I believe what I told you was that you need to cut the Aquarius bullshit,” you breathe, pushing him flat to the mattress. Moving on top of him, you slide your legs to straddle him fully, lips curling as his hands squeeze at the flesh of your hips. “But I’m glad to know you listen to me.”

Hoseok peers up at you, his dark eyes mirroring the need in your own.

At that YN whined because that was too much effort, but a voice that sounded much more alert than she felt reminded her she hadn’t eaten much and hated going to sleep without showering after a flight. So, she stopped her noises of protest and nodded.

Despite the agreement she still struggled to get her body to move on command, but she tried her best. Focus was put on not having Johnny support her full weight as they walked to the bathroom and to help get her clothes off. Sadly, that took a lot out of her and if it weren’t for the wall in the shower and Johnny joining in seconds after getting her in she would have ended up on the floor. 

Johnny thankfully made quick work of cleaning her and himself before getting them out of the shower. And since showers often made her more alert she had a little more autonomy by the time they were done. YN was able to lotion herself and get her skincare done with little help from Johnny, which gave him time to do the same for himself. All of it left her on autopilot, so even slipping on her clothes wasn’t a task – though to be fair she merely wore underwear and one of Johnny’s shirts to bed. 

However, by the time her behind touched the bed and she grabbed her scarf to wrap her hair the small burst of energy she had depleted. Getting her hands to cooperate was hard and by the time Johnny returned with a tray of food she’d dropped the scarf for the tenth time. She leaned down to pick it up, but the action made her dizzy and the scarf slipped through her fingers the moment she grasped it.

“Fu…” she faltered, not having it in her to finish the word.

And that was the final straw because the tears fell immediately after. YN was so tired and so frustrated that she couldn’t hold it together anymore, not that she felt like she’d been holding anything together in the first place.

Johnny, the sweetheart he was, swooped in immediately after setting the food down. He grabbed the scarf off the floor, redid the ponytail she had her goddess locs in, then wrapped the scarf around her head leaving the excess hair to hang before covering it all with her bonnet. She’d shown him how she does it before, so he got it done pretty quickly and then was pressing kisses to her forehead, whispering softly about how she was okay.

Once she’d calmed or at least stopped crying, Johnny moved to feed her. Naturally, YN wanted to feed herself, but Johnny smacked her hand away and held a spoon of stew to her lips until she opened it. After the first spoonful the second came quickly and so Johnny interchanged between stew and rice until it was all gone. Then he made her drink down what she thought was water but tasted like some sort of citrus and something else she couldn’t pinpoint. She hated the taste and groaned about it once she’d downed it, but she was still grateful; the food had helped her a little just like the shower had.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice hoarse.

Johnny simply smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead before collecting all the dishes and standing from the bed.

“Go brush your teeth, baby. I’ll be back.”

With her task given to her YN tried once more not to be a total burden and got herself up and to the bathroom. If she brushed her teeth for two minutes she wasn’t sure, but she was there for a long while and hummed the song she usually did to keep track of brushing time so that was enough for her. After she finished her oral hygiene with a few swishes of mouthwash she headed back to the bedroom. 

From there it was a clear decision to use the last bit of control over herself that she had to run full force at the bed and then let the covers consume her. The moment she felt her body relax like she’d been begging it to for almost twenty-four hours she was overjoyed, but she fought it. YN wanted to wait for Johnny and thankfully he appeared maybe a minute after she got into bed. His entrance was met with whining and grabby hands, which he laughed at and ignored to go brush his own teeth. That felt ten times longer than waiting for him to come back from the kitchen, but he didn’t waste a second more than he needed to and YN was wrapped around his giant frame in no time.

The mix of comfort from his bed and from him was the nail in the coffin for her and her body just gave up on consciousness, but not before she whispered something.

“I love you.”

Johnny pressed a kiss to her forehead before he closed his own eyes.

“I love you too.”

And just like that they were both dead to the world.

Upon waking up the next morning YN was disoriented and still tired, but much better than she had been upon arriving the night before. Not that she really remembered the night before, which is why she was so disoriented in the first place. Her last complete memory had been sitting in the van that drove her home and the rest of the night was merely fragments of everything that happened before she passed out.

However, her confusion didn’t last for too long once the smell of bacon wafted into the room. It was faint, but enough for her to realize how hungry she was. And that alone was enough for her to focus on what happened between last night and the moment she opened her eyes that morning.

She forced herself out of bed and regretted it the moment she stood on her feet, legs stiff and cold. However, hunger outweighed the way her body chose to betray her, so she took a few steps away from the bed and stretched out. First, her arms and upper body for a minute or two before working on the legs. The moment she bent her knees to squat a little she wanted to collapse into bed, but she pushed through until all pain and discomfort left her. From there she did a few high knees and held a lunge with each leg for several seconds to ensure she was good. 

Once she felt less like she’d topple over with a single step she headed into the bathroom. Sleep clung to her so after she used the bathroom she washed her face, though she didn’t go through her full routine. Cleansed skin and a bit of serum was more than enough in that moment. YN thought about brushing her teeth, but she refused to endure horrid tasting food for the sake of combating morning breath.

With all of that taken care of she headed towards the kitchen where the smell of good food was stronger and maybe her stomach rumble in want. When she entered, the reason for the strong smell was right in front of her, a plate of bacon sitting on the island along with dishes filled with other food. So, without thought – minus the one about eating everything in sight – she snatched a piece and shoved half of it into her mouth.

Though something akin to a moan of pleasure wanted to escape her lips, she held back and just munched on about three pieces of bacon. As she finished the last piece Johnny turned around with the skillet filled with eggs he’d been working on and nearly dropped the thing in shock of seeing her, but thankfully was able to steady himself.

“I thought you would sleep for longer,” he said, a pout gracing his lips.

That confused and amused YN.

“Do you want me to go back to sleep?” she asked.

More pouting ensued with that question and Johnny shook his head and opened his mouth to say something before stopping himself. He pushed the eggs out of the pan and onto a plate and then set the pan back onto the stove. Free of hot and dangerous kitchen tools he made his way around the island to YN, his arms opened wide for her to walk into which she did without hesitation. 

“Morning,” he said, the words muffled because his face was pressed into her bonnet.

“Morning.”

“You were dead on your feet when you got here. I hope you got a good sleep.”

Though her memory wasn’t whole she knew he was one hundred percent right. She’d been extremely tired before she got on the flight, so naturally it only got worse as time passed.  

“I feel better, but still tired,” she said.

Johnny nodded and then gently pulled away, though not fully. He tilted his head to look at her and the next thing she knew his lips were on hers. She embraced the kiss, enjoying the feel of his soft lips and when they pulled away a sigh of content escaped her.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too. I’m kinda glad that the wrap date was sooner so I could come home already. Even if it meant a week of nonstop working.”

At that Johnny frowned and YN expected to be scolded, but then his expression relaxed and he leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead.

“We’ll talk about that later. For now go sit, breakfast is done and you need to eat.”

YN gave a quick two finger salute and made her way to their dining area. It was thankfully in the same space as the living room, so she grabbed the remote as she sat down and turned on the TV and chose something randomly on Netflix to play in the background.

It took a few minutes for Johnny to join her, so YN ended up laying her head on the table trying to fight the tired feeling that returned. With her lack of motion and nothing to really hold her attention it was harder than she thought and by the time Johnny brought their food over she’d been halfway asleep.

“Baby, wake up,” he said.

YN sat up quickly at hearing that, but she was still somewhat asleep and needed a moment or two to try to regain her bearings. It took a few seconds and some light back rubbing from Johnny, but she got it together and was able to dig into the food he handed over to her.

Eating helped her a whole lot and she felt some of the tiredness and overall shitty feelings slip away. Well, it was the food, water, tea, and vitamin C and ginseng drink that Johnny ensured she drank every bit of.

When all was consumed she attempted to help clean up, but Johnny used his body to box her out and shooed her off to their room to change into comfy clothes. That brought on a million and one questions, but they were shut down before she could even finish them. And since she truly did not have it in her to push him she did as she was told.

YN brushed her teeth, did the rest of her skincare, changed into lounging around the house clothes and took off her bonnet – leaving her scarf on – before wandering out to the living room. 

Johnny was finished with the dishes and standing near the TV in the fifteen minutes she was gone. But what was truly shocking was that in her absence he’d managed to set up a fort in front of the couch and put blankets and snacks inside of it. 

The surprise left her with her mouth agape and eyes wide for a moment or two. That shock quickly turned to joy though and the smile that overtook her lips almost hurt with how wide it was.

“You like it?” he asked.

Despite time to process YN still struggled to find the words and could only offer a nod in response. The reaction amused Johnny and after he finished messing with whatever near the TV he took her hand and carefully led her inside the fort.

Once seated and wrapped in a blanket YN finally found her voice.

“What is all this?”

The question sounded dumb as she asked it and she expected a smartass reply, but when she looked at Johnny he was giving her the softest smile.

“We didn’t leave things in a great place when you left and though we did make up later it meant we didn’t get to go on that picnic we planned. I wanted to try it again, but this time in the comfort of our own home. Plus, you’ve been working really hard and I thought a weekend like this could be good for you. And this is step one to that,” he said.

The kindness of his efforts made her tear up and before Johnny knew it YN launched herself at him, toppling them and the fort over. She didn’t react to that though and merely pressed millions of kisses over his face and told him how much she loved him. Johnny didn’t seem to mind either, because he simply wrapped his arms around her waist and let her do what she wanted. 

A few minutes later she finally let up on her affections and pulled back a little so she could see his entire face.

“Thank you, baby,” she said.

“You’re welcome, baby.”

That caused them both to dissolve in giggles for a few moments before realizing their predicament, which was being buried under sheets and blankets. 

“Fix the fort and then watch Altered Carbon?” he offered.

That got YN to nod, giving him one last kiss before pushing everything off to free themselves from all the sheets. From there they rebuilt the fort – sturdier than before – and reorganized the snacks that had gotten lost during the collapse – that were thankfully unopened.

Your little girl is smiling ear to ear, and shrieking in delight at Seokjin, who is carrying a bucket and two fishing rods- well, one fishing rod and a toy one. He has been regaling your daughter with stories of fishing, it was not difficult at all to get her all excited to be his fishing buddy.

“Hey baby,” you kneel as your daughter barel into your arms. “Did you catch a lot of fish?”

“Four!” She happily exclaims, wriggling out of your arms to pull Seokjin closer to you. “Look, Eomma!”

“She’s my good luck charm. Not Yoongi, not my painting, Min Soojin was all I needed to show these fish who’s boss!” He ruffles her hair. She beams at him proudly.

“Wow! Are we having sashimi tonight?” You turn to find Hoseok right behind you, peering into the bucket. He turns to your daughter, innocently asking her, “you’re going to help Uncle Jin and Uncle Kook cut the fish?”

Soojin’s face immediately turns serious, her smile all gone. “Cut? Eomma?” She turns to you. “We cut fishies?”

“Well, that’s how we get sashimi, baby.”

Her face crumples at your answer, tears start pooling in her eyes. “No, I don’t want to hurt fishies.”

The two men immediately bend down and soothe her. “No, no, we won’t cut the fishies. Uncle Hoseok is just joking, right?” Seokjin gives Hoseok a stare.

“Yes, I was only joking, Soojin-ah.” Hoseok cuddles her. “Hey, do you want to see the plane I made?”

Soojin shakes her head. “No, I want to take fishies home so you don’t cut her.”

Hoseok resigns to his fate. He knows now your four year old daughter will see him as an evil villain, out to cut all the fish in the world.

“Baby,” you coo at Soojin. “Why don’t you, Uncle Jin and Uncle Hobi return the fish to the river?”

Seokjin glares at you. You know how challenging it was for him to catch even a single fish on his last trip here, and on the day he caught FOUR, he can’t even enjoy one as a sashimi.

Hoseok on the other hand, jumps at his chance of redemption. “Yes, that’s a great idea! Let’s do that, Soojin. Let’s free the fish!”

Soojin looks at Hoseok doubtfully. He grabs the bucket from Seokjin and offers his hand to your daughter. She gingerly puts her hand in his, and her other hand reaches for Seokjin’s.

Over your daughter’s head, Seokjin whispers sharply at Hoseok. “YOU put the fish back.”

You watch them squat by the dock, laughing along with Seokjin and Soojin as Hoseok squeals in disgust as he picks a fish out of the bucket and throws it inelegantly into the river. After the fourth fish is back in the water, Soojin is satisfied and her mood is back to her cheery self.

You look at your watch. 5pm. It’s time to get your husband out of his makeshift studio. “Soojin, want to see Appa?” You call out.

“No! Plane!” She points at Hoseok who is winding his toy plane again.

“Go get Yoongi. We’ll look after her.” Seokjin offers, and you give him a grateful smile. It IS nice to have your husband’s band mates around.

You walk up towards the campervan by the upper house. Your husband specifically made the request for the van to be there. You knock on the door, and you open it only after you hear his gruff response from inside.

“Hey babe,” you greet him from the door. “It’s just past five.”

Yoongi stretches behind the laptop and all his equipments. Rubbing his face, he mumbles, “Already?”

You open the door wider, letting more sun inside the dark campervan. “Did you manage to get all your work done?”

Yoongi gestures for you to come inside. You step in, and sit next to him. “Wanna hear?” He offers.

“Of course.” You take the headphones from his hands. You love how he always shares his rough drafts with you, even before he shares them with his members. It doesn’t matter that you know zilch about music, he loves watching you reacting to his creations.

He presses play, and your eyes widen at the sounds filling your ears. You turn to smile at him, pride on your face. He returns your smile with his own gummy one.

You love this kind of moment with Yoongi. You don’t need dates at fancy restaurants or expensive gifts like big diamond necklaces. Just time with him, alone like this, is enough. He watches you bopping along to his music, and burst out laughing in embarrassment as you scrunch your face at his attempt at a high note.

When the song ends, you take off the headphone and kiss him. “Well, Min PD-nim, I think you have another hit there.”

“You say that to all my songs.” He brushes away your compliment as he starts packing up his things.

“Well, it’s true. I’m not just saying that because you’re my husband.” You stand and move to the door to give him more space in the cramped sitting area of the campervan. You report to him about Soojin’s fishing experience earlier while Yoongi is putting his equipments in the bags.

“So Hobi actually held the fish?” Yoongi chuckles.

You nod. “I regret not capturing it on video. It was so funny.” You open the door and you both walk towards the upper house. “OH MY GOD!”

You exclaim as you see the state of the kitchen. Yoongi curses next to you.

All the foods you have bought for the stay are scattered all over the counter and the floor. Packages ripped open, vegetables and fruits half eaten.

“Oh no, did an animal- or a pack of them- get in?” You lift a bag of bitten and nibbled onions. “They like onions it seems.”

Your husband sighs. “Guess we’ll have to go out for dinner then. There’s no way we can salvage any of this.”

You agree with him and start cleaning up. Shortly after, the kitchen is clean and free of scraps, and you both return to the main house to break the news. The members don’t seem to mind going out, Taehyung even suggests going to the burger joint he visited with Hoseok before. Seokjin and Yoongi decide they could stop by a supermarket on the way back to get enough food for breakfast and lunch for the next day.

And so off the nine of you go to the town for a burger dinner. Arriving at the small restaurant, you are shocked at how crowded it is. “Wow, the burgers here must be really good.” You comment to Taehyung.

He nods, licking his lips. “One of the best, Noona. You’ll love it.”

You smile at his enthusiasm, and also when he picks up Soojin to show her the menu board.

Then you realize something.

Your heart drops when you realise that no one, not a single person is wearing a mask. The staff, the patrons, and even you, your husband and his brothers, and your daughter, none of you is masked up.

You start to panic. Reaching for Yoongi, you tug his hand. “Babe, we’re not wearing our masks!”

“Relax, baby, we’re fine. No one recognizes us here.”

“No! Yoongi, not to hide your faces. The pandemic isn’t over yet and we’re not wearing masks!” You shout at him.

To your shock, no one seems to hear you, or even care that everyone in this burger joint is ignoring the most important safety protocol. You panic even further, and while making your way to Taehyung to take Soojin back, you feel something tugging the back for your cardigan.

You turn to chide Yoongi, thinking it is him who is pulling your clothes. You gasp when you find no one behind you. Not Yoongi, not Namjoon, not anyone you came to the place with. In fact, the whole place has become empty, but for a little boy standing in front of you.

He has feline eyes, much like Yoongi’s, and his complexion is as milky white as your husband’s too. He looks up at you with such innocence, and you kneel down to meet him at eye level.

“Hi,” you greet him. “Are you okay? Where are your parents?”

The boy continues to look at you silently, then he fishes something out of his packet. It is a folded K94 mask. He offers it to you.

“For you, Eomma.” He says shyly.

=======

You sit up, gasping out loud. You immediately reach for your face, feeling for a mask around your mouth and nose. Your fingers touch bare skin directly, which sends you into a panic.

You start to look around for a mask frantically, only to find yourself... in your bedroom in Seoul? And your husband is stirring awake next to you. You reach for the baby monitor, and relief floods over you as you see on the screen that your daughter Soojin is sleeping peacefully in her room.

“Babe,” Yoongi sits up next to you, voice still thick with sleep. “You okay?”

You place a hand on your bare chest. Your heart is still beating fast. “I just had the craziest dream.”

Yoongi reaches for you and pull you down to lie with him. Rubbing your back, he asks you to tell him your dream.

“We were back in the house, that In the Soop house,” you begin. “We were having such a good time, Soojin was laughing, the boys were all there too.”

You try to focus but bits and pieces of the dream are already forgotten in your mind. “And somehow we all went out for dinner, and no one was wearing masks, Yoongs, including us and I panicked I think?”

Your husbands hands are soothing you. “And that’s when you woke up?”

“No...There’s something else.” You struggle to remember. “There’s a boy I think, and I thought he was lost, but he gave me a face mask.”

Yoongi stops rubbing you. “The boy gave you a mask?” He sounds tickled.

“It’s a dream, it doesn’t have to make sense.” You playfully swat his chest.

He nuzzles your hair. “You dream of the weirdest things.”

You giggle in his embrace. Your naked bodies pressed closer as sleepiness starts to disappear, slowly replaced by something more carnal.

You suddenly remember something. “Oh my god, Yoons!” You push Yoongi away. He leans back, confused.

“What if that was a conception dream? The boy called me Eomma.”

Your husband looks at you as if you have grown two heads. “A conception dream?”

“Well, we may have conceived a child tonight, considering... you know, how many times you came in me.”

“Only twice but thanks for the ego boost.”

“I’m serious!” You give him a stern look. “What if we conceived a baby tonight, and that was my conception dream? Oh my god, how could my conception dream be of a boy giving me a K94 mask?”

Yoongi starts laughing. “And what do you think that would mean? We’re gonna have a son who’d become a doctor? That wouldn’t be so bad, right?”

You pout. “Now you’re just teasing me.”

He cradles you back in his arms. You have talked with your husband before about giving Soojin a sibling. Your hand unconsciously moves down to your tummy. You and Yoongi have foregone all birth controls tonight, and you hope one of his swimmers has made it.

Yoongi strokes your hair gently. “You know, since you have the conception dream already, why don’t we make sure it doesn’t go to waste?”

His hands are moving down your body, sending sparks all over.

“I agree, Min Yoongi. You better give me a baby tonight. Just in case the first two times weren’t quite successful.”

Laughing, he rolls over to be on top of you, determined to get you all nice and pregnant by the time morning comes.

A/N: I actually had the dream OC had - minus the boy with the K94 mask. The fact that Miss Rona actually invaded my dream, that was just so crazy I had to write it down! And eventually it became this little piece of a fic 😄 Please remember to wear your mask, social distance and stay safe! 💜

You lie on your back in the dark of your bedroom. You’re slightly propped up on your pillows. An annoying throb between your legs was keeping you from focusing on the show you’d been watching, so you’d picked it up and texted her. You had promised yourself that you weren’t going to booty call again, but here you were, horny and needy.

She texted back within a few minutes, saying that she’d be round your place within the hour. You are trying to stay cool now as you wait for her, keeping your hands occupied with anything but playing with yourself. But every time your arms pass over your nipples when you reach over to get the remote, a little jolt shoots down your spine.

Then there she is. Standing in your doorway, Sunmi looks effortlessly gorgeous. She’s wet from head to toe, her hair hanging limply over her shoulders. Her white Gucci shirt is see through and her shorts are pulled up high enough that you can see the swell of her ass.

“Get over here,” you growl, unable to stop the animalistic flood of lust that overtakes you.

She saunters over to the bed, slowly and deliberately. She knows exactly what she does to you, and you can see the smugness in her smile. She crawls onto the bed, swinging one leg over to straddles you. You grab her hair at the nape of her neck and pull her in. Your lips press together hard, tongues desperate and sloppy. You feel the water from her hair dripping down your fingers.

Your mouths move together in a tango, and you can feel the heat between her legs growing. You smile against her mouth.

“Would you like me to take care of this?” you ask as you slide a finger gently over her clothes crotch.

Her eyes widen, and she nods. You flip her on to her back and take a moment to admire how she looks lying there, ready to be fucked. You run your fingers gently over her breasts, sliding slowly downward until you reach the button of her jean shorts. You unbutton them then slip them off. She has no panties on, and you’re not surprised.

Your head dips between her thighs, and you blow warm air onto her folds. She shudders, and you smile to yourself. Your tongue slowly traces up her slit, from entrance to clit, tasting the slick arousal there. You take a finger and smear the wetness around, rubbing slow deliberate circles on your clit before replacing it with your lips. She moans as you suck at the sensitive bud.

You continue to work your mouth over her, licking and sucking while you sink your fingers deep inside of her. Your fingers curl up to hit her most sensitive spot inside, and you feel the convulsion of muscles inside her. She throws her head back, and her fingers grip your hair hard. Your lips form a suction around your clit while your fingers continue to work. Sunmi cums hard against your face, thighs closing around your head, back arching. She cums for a long time before her muscles finally relax. She sighs deeply.

You pop your head up, smiling. She is disheveled looking and panting. You climb up til you reach her mouth, gently pressing your lips against hers. You run your fingers through her hair and push it off her forehead. You plant your lips there, then you stand. She looks at you with concern,

“Let me get you a towel and some dry clothes,” you coo as you make your way to your dresser to get her some of your clothes.

How do I see you?

Because the ice kills the burn, he wants the burn so that he can feel it. 

Strong. 

A boy thinks about a girl that sets his soul ablaze. The tapestry of the world passes him by as he travels to and fro. Faces are dark and bland, but he hears the sound of their jubilation. He hears the sounds of their admiration - for them. 

For him. 

Soft encased in steel.

His eyes are bright, nonetheless, as the flames of a performer burn within him. It races his blood, heats his skin, quenches a thirst now and again. But he misses her. He craves her. 

He wants her. 

Weary of the world.

A warm, sepia-toned vision fueled by heaven and hell. She gave him yin and yang. She gave him pleasure and pain. She offered, and he inhaled it as life itself. She gave him vibrancy, and he knelt at her feet. He prayed to her altar in the most earnest of ways. He prayed that she would continue to bless him. He prayed that she would continue to see that his world would be nothing without her inside of it. 

But yearning to find your place within it.

While inside of him - he longed to be inside of her. Complete and forgetful of the outside world, praying with her name falling from his lips. They sought enlightenment in the endorphin chase of their connected bodies. 

Beautiful to all but yourself

That was then - and now? Thousands of miles separate them, as they are want to do. 

Precious to me

--My Air--

Stop that. I can feel your mind wandering in my direction.

I see a goddess, regal. 

His phone vibrated on a desk in another hotel room. His eyes slid to the message that popped up across the screen. Lips lifted in the barest of smirks as his fingers swiped across the keyboard of his phone. He was writing sonnets, poems, and confessions. He erased them all, the overspill of his bleeding heart. 

And I am your throne.

--The Poet--

I miss you.

--My Air--

You always say that.

--The Poet--

I always mean it.

I am your gilded seat.

--My Air--

Kyun...

--The Poet--

Please. Come to me. 

“I’m so fucking selfish,” he muttered to himself with a bitter laugh. 

The phone was tossed to the side of the bed as he laid an arm across his forehead. The gentle patter of rain lulled him to sleep. He dreamed about random things, images of strange things twisted and warped inside of his subconscious. He finally zeroed in on the thing he wanted the most. Right before he could indulge in that wispy figure - his phone vibrated again. 

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes because he refused to believe the message - an address. He balked momentarily before grabbing a mask and his hat while shoving his wallet into his jeans. There’s apparent confusion on his face as he punched the button for an elevator. He was nervous and anxious by the time the Uber came around.

He bit into the tip of his fingernail as the ride crested into the thirty-minute mark. And then it was over. He was slightly outside the city. He paid the driver a hefty tip before stepping out into the rain. The modern cut of the two-story home seemed to loom ominously as he looked at his phone. He doesn’t care about the rain soaking him through as he texted her back. 

--The Poet--

I’m here.

Take your place upon me.

“So am I,” a familiar voice responds as the door opens. He’s at the top step, skin steaming as he reaches for her. He looks pitiful, letting the rain seep into his clothes. They stare at each other, erasing the world down to their existence. 

He claims her in a rush, breaking enough to lock the door. She pushes the jacket from his shoulders. He presses his wet body against hers, and he is whole. Their tongues tangle together as he dips enough to grab the back of her thighs. He maneuvers enough for the hat and shirt to be discarded. 

He was finally bare-chested, moist, and burning against the thin fabric of her t-shirt and flimsy pajama shorts. He could feel the heat of her against his abdomen. His fingers grazed through the soft coils of her hair. “How?” He ate at her mouth, teeth tugging at the sweet gloss of her bottom lip. “How are you here?” 

Her legs were locked with a vice grip at his sides. She shook her head, a finger placed to his lips. “Let me ease your burden,” she offered a dulcet purr of sound as he stepped back until his legs hit the edge of a bed. There was the scent of sandalwood and dragon’s blood in the air. A scattering of candles bathed them in soft light. All the things that called to his dark poetic heart. 

And face the world... 

He released her, letting her slide down the hard rippled planes of his body. He dropped to his knees, burying his face in the soft flesh of her stomach. His fingers dug desperately into her hips as he inhaled the scent of her. Her fingers ran through the wet strands of his hair. His fingers slid under her shirt, which she promptly removed. She reached for the waistband of her shorts, and he stopped her. 

She saw the hungry gaze in his eyes and let her hands fall away. She knew that look; he made sure she did. A soft smirk lifted the corner of her mouth. A fingernail raised the point of his chin. “Then make your offering.” 

He pressed his face against her covered heat. He knew there was nothing beneath these shorts. He could feel that wet spot growing beneath his lips. He ghosted over the pajama-covered imprint of her pussy. He knew its shape and its secrets. He opened his mouth and sucked at the cloth that kept him from that treasure. He pulled the fabric taut until it slithered between the lips of her pussy. He could taste her with each pull, his tongue snaking out to tease her clit. Sucking furiously until a wanton moan bubbled out of her. 

He yanked the shorts down while he leaned his back against the edge of the bed. He pulled her forward. That hungry took in the length of her body, a warm sepia tone glistening in the dark. 

And all his.

He palmed her ass, bringing her forward until his mouth was in a perfect position. The first tentative flick of his tongue had her thrusting toward his mouth. “Use me,” he said with another flick. “Take me.” The flat pad of his tongue pressed against her clit, sliding down toward the entrance of her sex. Trying to collect her taste, lewd wet sounds of his tongue stirring the slick that pooled. 

His cock was trapped in the tight wet fabric of his jeans. She settled over his face, looking down at him. He noted the look of possession in her eyes as she grabbed a handful of his hair. He moaned into her pussy, tongue out and stiff as she fucked herself on his face. A hand raised to capture a breast, fingers pinch tugging at her nipples. 

She switched from a slow, languid pace, steadily increasing as her pleasure built. He could feel the quiver in her thighs, the clench of her pussy on the tip of his tongue. She threw her head back as he pulled her forward. He opened his mouth wide to take all of her in. A rapid flick of his tongue and the sneak of a ring-studded finger had her crying his name. 

She fell forward, shaking as he pumped her through the explosion. He was sure he came in his jeans, and it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he was inside of her. She gasped for air, her body shaking as she moved to the side to fall on the bed. She heard the thunder in her ears, and she was sure it was the storm outside. 

It couldn’t have anything to do with how he ate her like a main dish. Her eyes felt like marbles in her skull. She leaned up on her elbows as their gazes met. He slipped the finger covered in her essence in his mouth again. 

Her head tilted to the side as he stood, her foot lifting to press gently into the outline in his jeans. “Take them off.” 

Head high.

He reached for the button, the zipper, their gazes still locked. The band of Versace underwear was barely in the frame before he sprung up hard against his stomach. He felt her eyes on him as he grabbed the base of his cock. It was as if his body wept for her attention. 

She sat up, leaning forward, her tongue swirling to collect the taste of him. His eyes rolled shut as she lapped at the angry tip of his cock. He looked down as those plush lips engulfed the head. He prayed he wouldn’t blackout as she tried to take him all in. “Baby, fuck, not like this. I don’t know if I can last.” There was mischief in her eyes as she moaned. The vibration had him curling his toes into the floor. 

Because…

It happened fast - she turned and pushed him down on the bed. She flung her leg over his waist. He grabbed at his cock, holding it straight. “You’re beautiful.” 

She rubbed the slick of her pussy against the head of his cock. He grits his teeth as she lowered in small shallow pulls. Her hands pushed the shiny crimson-tinted coils above her head. Looking down at his face as she sucked him in bit by bit, inch by inch, with each swivel of her hips. 

Changkyun was no small feat to take in. 

She knew that he could kiss her cervix open if she wasn’t careful. His hands slid against her inner thighs as she rocked him into her body. The squelching noises echoed in the dark space of the room. Then finally, she had him completely and totally inside. She settled down on her throne, utterly full of him.

She rocked her hips in a slow drag, figure eight. He growled, digging painted fingernails into the meat of her hips. She worked her lower body, mouth open on a soft pant. He was in the best kind of agony, ready to cum at any second. “Make love to me,” he says, strained. 

Because to me…

She lifts up just enough to get his legs on the outside of her own. She rakes her nails down his inner thighs; takes great satisfaction feeling him pulse inside of her. She smoothes her hands up the rippled planes of his abs, rocking her hips into him. 

And he feels it, the switch in position as he wraps his legs around her. He could feel her clit sliding across his shaft. He could feel the drip of her arousal down his inner thighs. She moves her hands behind his knees, rocking her body into him at a brutal pace.

“You’re so pretty like this. Letting me fuck you so good like this.” She moans, feeling that molten pool in the pit of her stomach—the electricity at the base of her spine. “Tell me something pretty….” She uses his words against him. 

But he can hardly think watching her fuck him. Looking up at her like the amazon that she is. Vital, beautiful to everyone but herself, and all his. He reaches forward, grabbing more of her ass, forcing her to ride him just a bit harder. 

“You are my Queen.” He moans, pulling her down to devour her mouth. His legs lock around her as pussy quivers around him. She feels like home, and he never wanted to leave. “Come for me….” He breathes against her lips. “Come with me….” 

Their bodies crashed together as their voices rose without care. Lewd, wet body slapping sounds, breathing stops and starts. He cries out first, arms wrapping around her, holding him close to her. He shakes so hard, scared this is a sordid dream, as he chants her name like a prayer.

The orgasm rocks her, blurs her vision, fills her ears with the sound of his prayer. She feels like she’s left her body, but he holds her. He pours his load into her; it mixes with hers, streams down her thighs, and creams his cock.

They pant, drained and spent but locked in a sticky embrace. 

He can’t hear anything for the first few minutes. Her hips still held him captive, and the tiny undulations were driving him mad. Finally, he cups her ass, pushing into her with two long, deep strokes.

He cums again and sees stars. He sees his universe stretch out into the crimson coiled halo laid on his chest. He softens inside of her, but he stays. The aftershocks of their lovemaking sent shivers up his spine. He pushes the hair from her face. 

He watches her bite her lip, lifts her gaze to his, and he’s reminded once more. “You’re so beautiful.”