#nonnerpants

Hah, you've found a word that actually only has one chapter it shows up in! Apparently nobody clarifies shit in my writing 99% of the time 🤣

This is also from The Calling, my weird Merfolk Tommy and Buck the body/sex creaturefolk service worker fic

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Buck pouts out his lip and says, "Really? I can't believe I didn't even see you get off - guess I was too busy getting my world rocked to notice, so I can't complain, but -"

Tommy's face does something complicated and like Buck is definitely getting something else wrong now but he's not going to protest, which really is not how this whole client - employee thing is supposed to work.

"What? What am I getting wrong?" Buck presses. "Tell me so I can be better for you."

"Nothing's wrong, everything you're doing is perfect."

"Tommy."

"I mean it, that was great. I did get what I wanted, I'm perfectly satisfied by getting to give you an orgasm."

"But?"

Tommy tips his head back, most of his face dipping just under the surface of the water as he exhales, leaving a little trail of bubbles as they drift along.

"This isn't a complaint," he says finally. "But in the interest of not misleading you, I should maybe just clarify that I didn't have an orgasm. That's all. But that's not important."

Buck instinctually shifts to put his feet down, to get to something he can stand on to devote more of his brain to the situation - though they've floated out into the deeper waters so only his toes reach the sediment.

"Wait. What do you mean, though? You didn't get off and you don't… want to get off? Or you don't think I can get you off?" Buck jerks his hand back from Tommy's body. "Do you not want me to touch you?"

Tommy tilts his head heavily in denial, grip tightening on his waist and refusing his attempt to back off. "No, not at all. I would love to have you touch me, in whatever way you want, whenever you feel like it - especially if we're in the water. But us having sex won't work for me the way that it does for you. Outside of clutching in particular we don't… we're not built for it like that, not really."

"So wait - you can't get off unless you're mating?" Buck asks, horrified. "You - fuck, you only get to come twice a year?"

Tommy's face creases, somewhere between amusement and disagreement. "Not the way you mean it, but I wouldn't say that's exactly true, either."

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Merry christmas nonnerpants, maybe a little spicier than you intended but hopefully it hits the spot.

The Present Wrapped in Satin and Lace

Complete - E - 6k - Evan "Buck" Buckley / Tommy Kinard

Oh that's one of the very first fics I started writing in this fandom, way back in May of 2024... it was sparked by this cat video that was floating around at the time and a desire to explore what Tommy's living situation might be like and also just like... how much they like each other and Tommy beginning to really let Evan into his life. Fluffy with a little dash of crisis.

Here's a snippet:

"No, no no, where are you going?" He puts the kitten in his hand down inside the bag and reaches for her, but she's already moving. "Come here sweetie."

She pauses, and he crawls closer, but her head snaps back up and she slips out of his grasp and darts for a white pvc pipe buried in the wall, some kind of overflow pipe or something between the hot tub and pool or the water treatment system buried underground somewhere. He swears under his breath and goes back to get the last kitten to safety as a first priority.

At the opening she braces herself, makes a snapping sort of meow, and the kittens in the bag all start up a desperate chorus. She glances at them but then her attention sharpens back to the pipe, body tense and still. Tommy zips shut the mesh door and moves towards the mom, slow and cautious; she darts a look at him and then disappears into the pipe.

He swears under his breath and kneels down in the water, getting out his flashlight to see, but it's hard to get an angle.

Then he hears what she had; tiny mewls coming from inside the pipe.

"Oh, jesus, there's more. Fuck." He shifts back, going to where the temporary nest had been under the only nearby cover and gets the bag tucked in there, safe for the moment out of the water atop the wilted box. The kittens keep crying but he figures that's as good as any radio now.

"What do I do?"

He splashes back over to the pipe. It's barely bigger than his hand and when he shines the flashlight on it this time he sees a little burble of water coming out of it and streaming into the pool tub. He can hear water running somewhere inside it, and as he looks around the area he spots the downspout coming off the nearest corner of the house. It's angled in this direction, and there's some kind of drain system that it's integrated with, and he suddenly has a sinking feeling about why the cat had been so soaking wet already even though when he's arrived they'd been above the water level.

He climbs out of the tub area again to go over to inspect the spouts, to see if there's any kind of valve or diverter, but there's nothing. It looks like some kind of frankensteined "landlord special" of a job, all interconnected so that most of the roof water is coming together all in one direction, this main drain.

"Tommy!"

He's not expecting it, almost wonders if it was his brain playing tricks on him the way it sometimes does in the right sort of quiet, the echo of too many calls.

Then he hears it again, and almost on reflex he calls back, "Here!"

And moments later, Evan comes loping in out of the shadows, drawn to the sound of his voice sure and true.

"Jeez, it's really coming down," Evan says, closing the distance between them and slinging an arm around his neck as Tommy comes to meet him. "God, you're soaked."

The kiss he gets is firm and deep but quick, and Evan is already moving away to inspect the situation, squatting down to see the bag of babies.

Tommy swallows back his questions and focuses up.

"I've got all the visible kittens in there, but the mom ran into this pipe and I can hear more kittens in there. I think it's flooding."

Evan looks up at him, face creasing in concern. He must sound more freaked out than he realized he was because Evan moves back to him quickly, grabbing the back of his neck to pull him into a hard embrace, pressing a kiss to his temple. "It's okay babe, we'll get them."

He closes his eyes and sucks in a deep breath, holding onto Evan's hip to ground himself.

His voice is much steadier when he says, "She could get trapped."

"Well." Buck's hand pulses on the back of his neck, fingers tapping, and then he tilts his head to the side and says, "I've got an axe in the jeep if it comes to that."

And when he looks over, there's nothing but earnestness on Evan's face, like it doesn't even occur to him to hesitate over something that could cost him his job or a lawsuit or even possibly a criminal record. Not that he should be surprised, given everything he knows about Evan so far. He just hadn't realized it would extend to feral cats too.

"Yeah," he says, laughing faintly. "Yeah, me too."

"Well, there you go!" Evan says, his grin brilliant and contagious. Then he flails a little and crouches, saying, "look."

There's a shadow in the pipe and then the green glint of reflected eyes and it resolves into the mama cat with a baby in her mouth as she squeezes down the pipe. She freezes at the opening, spotting Evan, but he's already backing away and Tommy kneels down in front of her saying, "You got it, mama, come on," as he stretches out his hand.

I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and that's a very interesting question, thank you!

Here's the thing - it's a little bit both.

To start with, in this fic, Tommy is very much in that moment not thinking about any complexity or critical thinking he might apply to his relationship with Buck. I think he's also got a lot of grief about his own choices and his self-sabotaging urge to dive through the emergency escape hatch at the first sign of real trouble, so regardless of the objective truth of the matter (if there could be such a thing) I think he'd genuinely put the bulk of the blame for every part of it on his own shoulders. He believes what he's saying there.

As for the fandom meta side and my personal feelings…

One thing I think is an important facet of the conversation that has people talking past each other on this issue is that we're usually talking about two very distinct domains; the quality of the relationship as contributed to by its participants, and the decisions about being in a relationship by its participants. Now, the quality of a relationship can and should inform the decisions about its nature, but it cannot supplant those decisions.

It is interesting to me that you say the ball is firmly in Buck's court. I know that the fandom's collective pendulum is swinging a little heavy towards the "Buck bears responsibility too!" camp right now, but I have to admit that perspective has always felt to me more like rationalization than something grounded in facts, and a conflation of relationship status with quality/moral-righteousness. When it comes down to it, what we actually know in canon is fairly sparse, but what we do know, I think, puts that ball pretty firmly in Tommy's court.

Go fuck yourself.

Oooh yeah good thing you went on anon to showcase how piss poor your reading comprehension skills are!

You really should work on that, you've upset yourself and been nasty and immature for no reason at all. If you had actually read my post correctly, you would have realized I was, in fact, already writing about how annoying it is when people are rude about "other people playing with their dolls wrong".

In this case it was because I saw someone in my fandom make a post insulting people who wrote Character X not wanting children in their fics. That annoyed me, so I wrote a brief post about how stuff like that was rude and biased and that it's equally valid (important words for your reading comprehension practice) to interpret a character wanting or not wanting kids. You know. On my own blog. Instead of sending anon hate like a loser.

Darling I'm sorry your day was horrible! Tell you what - I'll do you one better, I'll post the whole second chapter today after work (as soon as I fix one little beat that's not quite working how I want yet).

But in the meantime, to tide you over, here's a little tiny sneak peek along with a spicy little "director's commentary" secret behind the scenes tidbit:

"That's wonderful," he says, nodding. Across the room he watches Gina talking - with her hands, as always - and the small but seemingly genuine smile on Maddie's face. "You remember Gina, yeah?"

Well, like I said it’s hard to see from that clip and the dramatic lighting exactly what’s going on, and sometimes weights aren’t standard anyway so without seeing the markings nobody can be certain, but based on my own experience with weightlifting, it looks like he’s got this setup:

Bar : 45 or 50 lbs is most common. Count that weight once but double all the others because the plates are always even on either side.

The pair of double-wide plate closest to the center of the bar : 100lbs each or possibly 75s most likely. They look like 100s to me but I could be wrong.

The three pairs of single-wide plates : 45lbs each most likely, very standard

The medium sized plate after that : probably a 30lb pair and probably a 25lb pair. Could be like a 30-20 or a 25-10 possibly, hard to tell in this. But my gut reaction was 30 and 25 from their size.

So altogether my estimate is that’s about 45 + (2*100) + (3*2*45) + (2*30) + (2*25) = 625 lbs rough estimate. At the very LEAST I’m sure it’s a minimum of 550 lbs.

p.s. That chain definitely adds a few extra because Phil is just that salty, he wants you to know he lifted even more than you can even estimate.