#nonbinary terminology

Hi! Good question!

Enben is the plural of enban, the non-binary gendered equivalent of man/woman. It is derived from the term enby. I prefer to use it because enby was initially understood to be a term that referred to non-binary youth. Whilst not everyone uses it that way, I personally prefer to use enban to describe all non-binary people to both show enben that there is more vocabulary to describe ourselves, but also to subtly uninfantilise non-binary people. Enban is a more adult feeling option. It also helps popularise these terms so other enben as well as binary people are aware of nonbinary vocabulary.

There are so many examples of this we could give, but the biggest ones we want to address are these following points:

First issue: The fact that nearly every term coined is split into three categories - boy, girl, and enby.

This is an issue, because it treats "enby" as a singular category, rather than a mixture of categories. Often it will treat it as an androgynous or neutral counterpart, "boy" as the masc counterpart, and "girl" as the fem counterpart.

This is exorsexist because:

1. It usually treats "boy" and "girl" as the masc/fem counterparts (when non-binary boys and nonbinary girls exist, and also not all masculine genders or feminine genders are male-aligned/female-aligned.)

2. It often treats "enby" as a neutral, null, or androgynous counterpart, when not all non-binary identities align those ways.

3. It lacks inclusion for people who aren't explicitly feminine, masculine, androgynous, or neutral/null.

The solution to this? If you're going to coin a term, make a boy, masc, girl, fem, androgynous, neutral, null, genderless, xenine, outherine, aporine, multigender, and fluid/flux version. Don't just default to making three versions.

Second issue: Even within the community, xenogenders and pocket genders are treated as aesthetics rather than true genders.

A lot of the time, we see the community "defending" xenogenders and microlabels by saying "it's just people having fun!" or "it's just using metaphors, its not literal!"

The problem with this is that, yes, xenogenders often use metaphors to describe their genders, but the way people "defend" them makes it sound like the gender itself is just a metaphor, and that it's just a "game" or "make belief." Just because xenogenders use metaphorical language doesn't mean they don't cause real, genuine, gendered feelings for the individual. The gender isn't a metaphor, the description of it is, just like how all other genders use metaphorical language (what is femininity? Explain it without using metaphors or aesthetics. You can't. Xenogenders are no less valid than femininity, they just use non-traditional descriptors.)

Furthermore, calling them "fun" takes away from the seriousness of the identity. Yes, any gender can be fun, but that shouldn't be the reason behind why it's "okay." That shouldn't be a defense because it doesn't always hold up. Not all xenine people have fun with their genders. A lot of them are miserable because they feel like they don't get taken seriously for being xenine, or have a harder time reaching their transition goals because society at large doesn't view their genders as anything more than a silly little game.

Trying to fight exorsexism by making xenogenders sound like an online game isn't helping, it's just further influencing transphobes to view xenine individuals as make-believers who will "eventually find their real gender" because their "current gender is fake."

I've seen this post a handful of times before, but now I've been thinkin.

Just like they said, there is a lack of androgynous counterparts if binary gendered words that 1) are not umbrella terms or 2) are not derived from nonbinary/enby and that honestly sucks.

So, I am suggesting a couple specific to nonbinary folks wording that were and were not originally proposed by me, in regards of man/woman and boy/girl.

For the androgynous for man/woman, specifically for people who are not willin to use enban/enben there is ferhman and ferhmen. I specifically like this one because the origin of the “ferh” part comes from old english “feorh” that can mean soul, living being or person.

And this one, that I specifically like because I kinda came up with the idea, is the androgynous for boy/girl: fer! It's short and it's one syllable with combines with the shortness of both girl and boy, somethin that ticked me off with enby as a counterpart. And I specifically think the plural is cute! Feries! It even makes a crescent order of plurals; boys (4 letters), girls (5 letters) and feries (6 letters).

enban

kyth

nyman

fehrman

person

individual

literally just anything else

Cwiaroleg!

Dw i wedi bod yn gweithio gyda @/queertawe i greu sesiwn i drafod terminoleg anneuaidd yn y Gymraeg.

Amser: 6yp-8yp 11 Mehefin yn @/tytawe, Christina St, Abertawe. Mae tocynnau am ddim, ond archebwch drwy @/queertawe.

Dw i'n symud fflat ym mis Mai a Mehefin. Ni allaf ddod yn anffodus! Ond gobeithio y bydd y sesiwn yn ddefnyddiol ac yn ddiddorol.

/

Queerology!

I've been working with QueerTawe to create a session to talk about Welsh nonbinary terminology.

Time: 6pm-8pm 11th June at @/tytawe, Christina St, Swansea.

Tickets are free but please book your place through @/queertawe.

Click here for the Wayback Machine's archive calendar for the page.

__

Gender Neutral/Queer Titles

[Note: currently this page has written titles in mind. Some titles are gender neutral when spoken, ie fiancé/fiancée, as the pronunciation does not change.]

Family Titles

Mum/Dad

Parent; neutral, formal.

Per; neutral, short for parent.

Par; neutral, short for parent.

Dommy; queer, mixture of mommy and daddy (note: sounds like Dom/me, a BDSM term)

Maddy; queer, mixture of mummy/mommy and daddy.

Muddy; queer, mixture of mummy and daddy.

Moddy; queer, mixture of mommy and daddy.

Zaza; queer, based on mama and papa/dada.

Zither; queer, based on mother and father. (Note, zither is also the name of a musical instrument.)

Baba; neutral, based on mama and dada. (Note, baba means dad in some languages and grandmother in others.)

Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to mama and papa/dada.

Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to mama and papa/dada.

Cennend; neutral, Old English (Anglo-Saxon) meaning parent.

Cenn; neutral, short for cennend.

Sister/Brother

Sibling; neutral, formal.

Sib; neutral, short for sibling as sis and bro are short for sister and brother. 

Sibster; queer, combination of sibling and sister.

Sibter; queer, combination of sibling and brother.

Aunt/Uncle

Pibling; neutral, your parent’s sibling.

Auncle; queer, combination of aunt and uncle.

Cousin; neutral, as sometimes people say aunt/uncle for parents’ cousins, or much older cousins.

Titi; neutral, from the Spanish for Aunt (Tia) and Uncle (Tio). (however, it is often a diminutive of aunt.)

Zizi; neutral, from the Italian for Aunt (Zia) and Uncle (Zio). (Note: zizi is also a French children’s ‘cute’ word for penis.)

Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to Titi/Zizi.

Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to Titi/Zizi.

Untie/Unty; queer, combination of uncle and auntie/aunty

Niece/Nephew

Nibling; neutral, combination of niece/nephew and sibling.

Chibling; neutral, the children of you sibling.

Cousin; neutral, as sometimes people say niece/nephew for cousins’ children, or much younger cousins.

Sibkid; neutral, short for sibling’s kid.

Nephiece; queer, mixture of nephew and niece.

Niecew; queer, mixture of niece and nephew.

Nieph; queer, mixture of niece and nephew.

Daughter/Son

Child; neutral, formal.

Offspring; neutral, formal.

Sprog; neutral, informal.

Oldest; neutral, refers to age instead of sex/gender.

Youngest; neutral, refers to age instead of sex/gender.

Kid; neutral, informal.

Grandma/Grandpa

Grandparent; neutral, formal.

Grandwa; queer, based on grandma and grandpa.

Grandy; neutral, short for Grandparent, Grandma or Grandpa.

Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to nana and papa.

Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to nana and papa.

Granddaugter/Grandson

Grandchild; neutral, formal.

Grandkid; neutral, informal.

Godmother/Godfather

Godparent; neutral, formal.

Goddaughter/Godson

Godchild; neutral, formal.

Godkid; neutral, informal.

Relationship Titles

Girlfriend/Boyfriend (non-serious relationship)

Date; neutral, the person you are dating.

Datefriend; neutral, the person you are dating, but fitting the boyfriend/girlfriend pattern.

Datemate; neutral, a rhyming version of datefriend, the person you are dating.

Lover; neutral, often implies sexual relationship, but simply refers to someone you love/who loves you.

Boifriend; queer, boi is a particular gender identity.

Girlboyfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Boygirlfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Paramour; neutral, someone you are having a sexual relationship with.

Bothfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Genderfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.

Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.

Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.

[name]friend; queer, based on girlfriend and boyfriend.

Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.

Birlfriend; queer, mix of boyfriend and girlfriend.

Feyfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer.

Personfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.

Enbyfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girfriend. (note: enby comes from NB, non-binary)

Girlfriend/Boyfriend (long-term/serious relationship)

Partner; neutral.

Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.

S.O.; neutral, short for significant other.

Other Half; neutral, informal, and implies monogamy.

Boifriend; queer, boi is a particular gender identity.

Girlboyfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Boygirlfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Paramour; neutral, someone you are having a sexual relationship with.

Bothfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Genderfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.

Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.

Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.

[name]friend; queer, based on girlfriend and boyfriend.

Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.

Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.

Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.

Birlfriend; queer, mix of boyfriend and girlfriend.

Feyfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer.

Personfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.

Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.

Enbyfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girfriend (note: enby comes from NB, non-binary).

Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.

Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.

Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Fiancée/Fiancé

Betrothed; neutral, formal.

Partner; neutral.

Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.

S.O.; neutral, short for significant other, a tad formal.

Other Half; neutral, informal, implies monogamy.

Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.

Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.

Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.

Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.

Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.

Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.

Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.

Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.

Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Wife/Husband

Spouse; neutral, formal.

Partner; neutral.

Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.

S.O.; neutral, short for significant other, a tad formal.

Other Half; neutral, informal.

Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.

Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.

Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.

Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.

Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.

Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.

Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.

Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.

Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Official Titles

Ms./Mr.

Mx.; queer, from mix or X as opposed to M or F.

M.; neutral, short for any and all titles. (note: M. is also short for Monsieur, making it masculine in French speaking countries)

Misc.; queer, the word miscellaneous.

Msr.; queer, mixture of Ms. and Mr..

Mq.; queer, based on the M beginning of Ms./Mr..

Ind.; neutral, short for Individual.

Miscellaneous Titles

Ma’am/Sir

Comrade; neutral, not suitable for all situations due to leftist/communist connotations.

Friend; neutral, very informal.

Citizen; neutral.

Tiz; neutral, short for citizen.

Mirdam; queer, a mix of Sir and Madam, although it still sounds similar to Madam.

Mistdam; queer, a mix of Mister and Madam.

Sir’ram; queer, a mix of Sir and Ma’am.

Laddam; queer, a mix of Lad and Madam.

Mir; queer, a mix of Sir and Madam.

Sir; neutral, Sir is used neutrally in the military, although this doesn’t work as well outside of that.

King/Queen

Monarch; neutral.

Ruler; neutral.

Sovereign; neutral.

Your Majesty; neutral, a way of addressing royalty.

Quing; queer, mix of King and Queen.

Caln; queer, created word based on the K/Q sound of King and Queen.

Prince/Princess

Prin; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Prinxe; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Princet; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Princette; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Princev; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Princen; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Princus; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Your Highness; neutral, a way of addressing royalty.

Heir; neutral, refers to future monarchy.

Princex; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending, POC-coined and POC exclusive.

Lord/Lady

Lairde; queer, based on the sound of La in Lady and rd in Lord.

Layde; queer, based on the sound of La in Lady and rd in Lord.

Ruler; neutral.

Liege; neutral, term of address for a Lord/Lady.

Sovereign; neutral.

Suzerain; neutral, a feudal equivalent of Lord/Lady.

Potentate; neutral, a Latin word for someone in power.

Khal/Khaleesi (A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones)

Khalsine; queer.

Khalse; queer.

Khalof; neutral, created by David J Peterson who developed the Dothraki for the show.

God/Goddess

God; neutral.

Goddex; queer, based on the God/dess ending.

Goddette; queer, based on the God/ess ending.

Goddeq; queer, based on the God/ess ending.

Deity; neutral, another word meaning god.

Boy/Girl

Kid; neutral.

Enby; queer, from the sound of NB, non-binary.

Neut; neutral, short for neutal.

Newt; neutral, variation of neut.

Null; queer, refering to someone whose gender is ‘null’.

Gul; queer, a mixture of boy and girl.

Fanboy/Fangirl

Fanenby; queer, using enby as a replacement for boy/girl.