#non-existent

Aponia may be off limits, but that didn’t stop Kalpas from “protecting” you ever chance he got. Most times, you didn’t even know there was something to be “protected” from. Like the chef that was apparently flirting with you, or the pilot who winked at you when he dropped you of for a mission once. Interactions like those didn’t even register on your radar, but they certainly showed up on Kalpas’.

The chef? Kalpas ate him for breakfast. Pilot? Top of the no-fly list. Any time Elysia sent you a smile, he was glaring at her, flames spreading through his hair the longer she looked. Kosma was an exception—because Kalpas couldn’t even tell when the two of you were talking—and Hua was allowed one conversation a week.

Sakura made fun of him on missions (“If you two can split up for a second—” “No.”), though he never seemed to notice her jabs. It got to the point that he could hold your hand though a busy hall and no one would even glance at you both. Dragging you along became one of his favorite ways to get somewhere because it gave him an excuse to hold your hand, and you never saw a reason to pull away, so he could stay like that for as long as he wanted.

Holding his hand sent a warmth through you that couldn’t be found anywhere else. You knew it wasn’t possible for him to let you experience his emotions through touch alone, but he was certainly making you feel something and that was the best explanation you had. Elysia laughed and told you he just made you happy. You blinked and told her you already knew that.

Calling the two of you ‘emotionally stunted’ would be a compliment, everything beyond rage went over Kalpas’ head, and you weren’t any better. It took you months to realize what exhaustion was, and the differences in platonic love, romantic love, familial love, and so on were completely lost on you.

“If you care for the person then what does it matter?” Hua had nodded in agreement as though you were presenting a solid argument, making Eden wince at the thought of explaining to you both.

Despite your questionable understanding of feelings, Kalpas still had a personal goal of making you feel something. Obviously, rage was at the top of his list, but he’d take anything. Pain, happiness, boredom, fear, anything to spite Aponia, prove to her that you could still break free. It didn’t work very well, his attempts at making you mad often just left you confused and asking him if he wanted you to leave.

The closest he had gotten was when you both had fallen asleep on a couch together. He’d put on the worst movie he could find to try and get a raise out of you, but you’d just leaned onto his shoulder and closed your eyes about five minutes in. When your pillow stood up to leave, you held onto his arm, looking at him with what could maybe, possibly disappointment at his departure. It didn’t last very long, but that moment stuck in his memory, and gave him cause to keep trying.

On missions, you were a powerhouse alone, but working with Kalpas, you had taken out a Herrscher on a mission without even knowing it. Neither of you could take Elysia in a fight, but with you stopping all her attacks, and Kalpas constantly breaking though her defenses, you had a chance.

But even all that power was only enough to slow the Honkai down. It still won at the end of the day. The world was falling apart, and humanity’s only chance was to preserve a select few and try again in the future.

Project SAVE had no room for someone who could endanger the survivors. Without your discipline, you would destroy everything they worked to build. So Kalpas went. And you stayed.  He spat and swore and cursed every name he could, only stopping when you smiled.

Not the fake smile Elysia had been teaching you, a true smile that crinkled your eyes and tore straight into his heart no matter how hard he tried to cover it up. It was the last smile you’d ever give, and the last smile he’d ever see.