#non-doer

May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat Part 1 – Practitioner’s Training

It was the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat that was a game changer. This is also where all FiTs met everyone in a physical location. i first met Sarah Sunshine (Sarala), Jabeen McMohan (Jwala),  Cherry Weir (Nirali), Mima (Mahima), Tiffanie Lim/Tara and Manjit Surry/Mala . The first 4 days of the Retreat was Practitioner’s training which was attended by over twenty 5D++ Pulsars inclusive of FiTs. i…

I just got my Mythology test results today, and I flunked it. No, I'm not being an overachieving git being "oh no, I got an A-!!!" No. I flunked it. Failed it. Got less than 60% right on the exam. And I'm very nearly... hopeless. This is not how it's supposed to be. I know I can do better than this. I'm just wasting my days away doing things that aren't towards my betterment as a person, student, friend, Catholic, daughter, etc. I've been a non-doer, pretty much. And I want to whack myself for it. I hate myself. I'm literally a waste of space.

I’m a not-doer. Like, I’m lazy, but I’m also good at not-doing things I’m not supposed to do. I never drank or did drugs or hooked up with girls or beat people up or stole or anything. I was always good at that... happily not-doing. But I’ve never been a doer. I never did anything that helped anybody. Even the religious things that involve doing, I don’t do. I don’t do zakat. I’m a total non-doer. I’m just sucking food and water and money out of the world, and all I’m giving back is, ‘Hey, I’m really good at not-doing. Look at all the bad things I’m not doing!' Being funny is a way of not doing. Sit around and make jokes and be Mr. Funnypants and just make fun of everyone else’s attempts to do something."