Which lane?
It is different now. And I donāt quite understand. I noticed that my guide - Eagle - had left. And that this Gull was apparently my new guide. The weird thing is, I didnāt really feel connected to her, like to all my previous guides. She was very sweet and loving, but I did not feel as if she was āguidingā me. I also felt ātallā, which is weird too, as Iām not in real life. As I was going through some phase of ācleansingā,Ā at first I didnāt pay much attention though.Ā
When I was through this and we met during my meditations, I started wondering. AndĀ one day when I connected with her, she was crying! When I asked why, I didnāt get a real answer. We talked about life etc and then suddenly she transformed into this beautiful white dove and I was amazed! I can still feel it, telling you about it. But what did it mean? Iām still not sure. Did she do this for me? Was it part of her own process, I helped her with? Is that why I didnāt feel this connection and it felt as if our bond was not entirely the same as I had previously felt with my guides?
In the meantime, I still feel as if Iām without a guide. So in my latest meditation, I called out for Eagle. And he came, soothing, loving, attentive. He would always be there if I asked or needed him, he reassured me. But I could also feel that he had gone on to do other things.Ā
And then it dawned on me that recently I had made this guided meditation for my group to meet their guide. So, I thought it would be good for me to do this meditation for myself. And the really weird thing is, I saw several souls changing in front of me quickly, as in a movie on fast forward. But none of them stepped forward and connected with me. Although it didnāt scare me,Ā it is definitely strange!Ā
And then I saw this post on Instagram: Somebody explained that we all live as if we drive on a highway, each and everyone of us on our own highway. That is the road our soul decided on and it leadsĀ to our life purpose. With our free will we can choose in which lane of our highway we want to drive. And our surroundings are influencing our choice (like speed, detours, changing lanes, traffic lights, traffic jams, etc ). I feel as if my choice of lane is determining which guide will accompany me in this next phase. And apparently I still have to make this decision.
On the one hand I feel some relief: I understand. On the other hand I feel pressure: I need to make this decision. Ā So I asked for guidance by using the tarot cards: Whatever choice I make, it is alright, but indeed I donāt know him (or her) just yet. But no worries: I will real soon.
