#no resolve

To claim you love Eddie was stupid. To say it out loud was much more stupid. To actually love him? Well you might as well be the most stupid person on the planet. Because you cannot love someone who will never love you back like that. Eddie munson was known for getting around, and you were just the stupid fool chasing after him. Hands blindly reaching for someone who will never reach back. A turned cold shoulder, no longer your chest filled with warmth as you felt shame filling you. It hurt. It tore your chest open from the inside out and tugged your heart out for use as an ashtray for him to put his blunts out each night. He was using you and you were letting it happen because you might as well enjoy what you have. A delicate hand traced your skin as he leaned over your shoulder, blowing the foul scented smoke your way, “Wanna go again?”

“Sure.” you reply without a single ounce of regret saying it, desperately wanting to get more ‘affection’. You wanted to feel loved for a few moments more. 

Eddie cocked a brow, noticing the off tone as he purred, “What’s wrong?”

“Just a little tired is all.” You smile, a lie. He notices. He always notices.

“Why are you lying?” He asks, a plea, wants you to open up but doesn’t want to see the inside of you.

“I’m not trying to, I guess maybe we shouldn’t.” You don’t want to not, but you shouldn’t. You’ll regret it later. 

“What’s wrong then?” He kept pushing, “I need you to open up to me.” He frowns, it’s fake, you can taste it on your tongue.

“I don’t know, okay?” You reply, it’s snappy, angry. You’re upset at him and you don’t know why. You’re in love with him and angry he’s not in love with you back.

“Okay but something is wrong and it’s obvious it’s not some mental thing, what’s wrong?” He snapped back, sitting up.

“What’s wrong is I think instead of being addicted to weed or nicotine you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up.” You snap, your tone is harsh, rude, filled with anger, and the sight of his anger back makes you weak. You want to apologize, but he notices you’ve shrunk back, and he retaliates. 

“You want to kiss me so bad it makes you fucking stupid.” He snaps. The fool breaks. The fool has fallen off the cliff. And you think maybe he’s right. Eddie’s making you stupid. You’re lovesick and stupid.