my wife has this thing where she'll write down quotes that she finds extremely funny in random conversations, she's been doing it since high school. we've moved in together 2 months ago today, here are the quotes that made the list so far

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Australia

seen from Germany

seen from T1
seen from Kazakhstan
seen from Netherlands

seen from United States

seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from Taiwan

seen from Vietnam

seen from Poland

seen from France
seen from Malaysia

seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from Russia

seen from France

seen from Italy
my wife has this thing where she'll write down quotes that she finds extremely funny in random conversations, she's been doing it since high school. we've moved in together 2 months ago today, here are the quotes that made the list so far

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Rahne during the fursuit dance competition at FWA26
HI SO. I ACCIDENTALLY DIDNT. DO THE DAILY JOEL VOTE FOR ONE BECAUSE IM DUMB BUT I PROMISE I HAVE THE SPIRIT.
ThAT SAID. WITH LIZZIE? /nf
Two Lizzies for your two votes ^^
VOTE HERE
This should also count for propaganda for people to vote fandomonic-plague for biggest Lizzie fan!!
@lifeseriesbasepolls
As a nonbinary person who looks like a cis male i kind of just feel like I can't believe its not butter but for men? Like sure it might seem like it but wait theirs more!
I am fairly certain my type is just "can either beat me up physically (then hold me tightly with muscles) OR can beat me up mentally (then snuggle and read to me).

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
all ancaps eat beans
Well maybe you, but THIS ancap would never ruin his pallete by eating beans of any kind.
Glamrock freddy adopts nb! Reader
finding a pile of clothes on the ground f.freddy went to investigate the new supply given by staff. nobody around the animatronicΒ knelt, only to find that the ball was a child curled with tears down their cheeks. gently f.freddy shook their shoulder. "please be alive.." solemnly heΒ picked up the small one.
he knew the routine. going to the empty animatronics f.freddy put the child in an old looking freddy costume. the outside dirty and cracked. the most intact one amongst a chicken with no beak and a wolf disheveled and blind, the second best had no hands. it was an easy pick.
stuck within a cold casing of another forgotten cold casing of an old building. everything falling apart they were both forgotten as the scooper took all able bodied machines. the lasting souls of the place all held remembrance. with no glam to their rock there was only one thing for the sad souls to do. remember. now with a new soul their lives may have fresh meat.
Β "showtime already?" looking down a tall mirror with bright colors and lights freddy was doing a diagnostic check on his servos and motor. "recharge cycle is not complete." speaking to himself he opened up his chest to see if he could do anything to make sure everything was in place. looking down he couldn't see within but felt his way around.Β
are you sure? some would call this the point of no return. poking where the inside of the casing connected to his wires they felt odd. his insides were giggling? looking in the mirror he gasped. "that is not a safe play area!" backing up he sat the child on his desk. scanning them to know their name only to get no results. "who are you? are you lost maybe?"
y/n looked down to their feet, swaying them like two swings of bordem. "can you be lost if there was no place for you to go?" g.freddy tilted his head as he listened. y/n sighed, "i might be lost i just dont know how i got here."
"i see. i will notify the main desk." prepared and stoped in a moment as y/n jumped down to their feet, waving arms to catch his attention. "nono! dont do that i'll get caught!"
"y/n, you are staying?" he asked as hope reached the voice not supposed to feel. his mechanical heart melted, "i am glad. here, i found this party pass. there are areas we have not investigated?" he smiled down, watching y/n get excited to explore their new home. ruffling their hair he continued, "lead the way, superstar."
running beside freddy they explored to find all the presents.going downstairs to explore they could finaly go past the gates. one of them leaving down a dirty and rocky walled room. everything held up by wires gismoes and wooden planks. "what is this place..?" y/n asked as they furthred their decent below.Β
freddy stoped them a moment with a hand infront of their body. "a verry dangerous place,,, here i will protect you." crawling in freddy they continued down. briefly passing a large pile of wires, wrigling and expanding like lungs of someone alive. something about it was alive.
passing through the hall got bigger. engeins turning on as they go, and a red sign lit above them both. "freddys fazbears pizza place." getting out of freddy y/n took a look around. "this dosent make sence. why would they build a pizza place,, on another pizza place???"
a hand taking their shoulder freddy watched the sign with distaste. "its... a long story. i do not know all of it but i can tell you that this place has been only remembered by the victims of this place."Β