#niffler

Sometimes the best solution is simply... to stop imagining. 😅

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The Beginning...

After I got kicked out of school, my life spiraled out of control. Everything started to revolve around alcohol. I began wearing wife-beater like top and started abusing my husband, and eventually, he left me. That’s when I hit rock bottom. I was kicked out onto the street, living just like Tyler Durden from Fight Club.

My only daily joy came from the bottom of a vodka bottle. One day was just like the rest; I woke up on some stairs, miserable because I’d run out of rum and vodka. So, I went to buy even more. I was loading the bottles onto the conveyor belt while eyeing a chocolate bar. I figured I should probably eat something alongside the booze. After so much drinking, I couldn't even tell the difference between hunger and thirst anymore... so I just treated both with more alcohol. I grabbed the treat and tossed it next to the bottles.

That’s when I noticed some other homeless (but shredded) guy in front of me, fumbling with his coupons. He clearly didn’t have a clue which ones were valid or how to use them.

"Some of us actually want to drink today, you monkey!" I snapped at him.

The man froze and looked at me.

"What a nice pair of eyes... would be a shame if I poked them out," I snarled. He just rolled his eyes, turned back to the cashier, paid, and walked out. I smirked and spent my last cents on my haul, then headed out with my bag.

As I walked out, I saw the "big monkey" again, loading two bags into his car. As I passed him, a deep voice called out: "Hey, you!"

I stopped and slowly turned around.

"I see you’ve fallen on hard times. I started out like that too. How about an opportunity?" he asked.

I just stared at him for a second before finding my voice. "An opportunity? What kind of opportunity could a guy like you have for someone like me?" I asked quietly.

He took a deep breath. "If you’re so done with life anyway, how about a 'double or nothing' kind of job?"

I narrowed my eyes. "What kind of job are we talking about?"

The man slammed his trunk shut and introduced himself. "I'm Toji Fushiguro. I'm from an elite exorcist agency. I'm just passing through town because I’m headed to a demon-infested house to clear it out with my partner. There are eleven of us in the company, plus the boss—but let’s not talk about him now. We can always use extra hands, since this job is literally 'do or die'."

I waited for the punchline, but it never came. "Look, I drink a lot, but I’m not 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 crazy," I muttered.

Toji didn't laugh; he stayed dead serious. "Oh, you're actually for real... Listen, I don't care what you think, I don't deal with this crap. I'm not a kid anymore to believe in fairy tales."

Without waiting for an answer, I turned away, pulled the nearest vodka bottle out of my bag, and took a swig on my way "home."

Like every other day, I drank until I passed out somewhere. In the middle of the night, I woke up half-dead to the sound of a massive van. I rubbed my eyes and saw the "monkey" himself, Toji Fushiguro, arguing with... a 340 cm tall beast?!

"Are you seriously trying to recruit another bum? You know exactly what happened last time," a terrifyingly deep voice boomed.

Toji replied with a bored look, like he was gambling with his own life: "Yeah, I know. That’s when I joined."

Finally, the beast sighed. "Fine. I’ll give this one a chance. Just this once. If she can’t handle the job, we won’t have to worry about her for long anyway."

I snapped out of it and started yelling. "HEY! HEY! I NEVER AGREED TO ANYTHING, HELLO?!"

The creature in the white suit took out a cigar, lit it, turned toward the van, and just jerked his head before stepping inside. Toji grabbed me, threw a sack over my head, and tossed me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I was struggling and kicking, but he threw me into the van. I heard multiple voices inside. Toji pulled the sack off, and I found myself facing a group of men.

"This isn't the start of some adult movie, is it?" I asked.

Half of them laughed, the other half didn't.

A pink-haired guy with a weird growth on his head spoke up: "Enough laughing. This is just going to screw me over with more paperwork, I'm about to dump it all on Yuji—"

He was cut off by another pink-haired boy. "So, what’s your name? Why did you hit rock bottom? I’m Yuji! And this is my uncle, Sukuna!" the teenager asked excitedly.

A man with his hair in two buns chimed in: "Leave it, Yuji. They don't even know which way is up. I'm Choso, though."

"Fair point..." I whispered. "But... I can still drink, right?"

An albino man with glasses spoke up: "If you want to drop dead, then sure, go ahead." He leaned forward, sliding his glasses down so I could see his piercing blue eyes. "You’ve just been given a second chance to change your miserable life."

I could only mumble to myself. "And you? What’s a pretty boy like you doing here?"

He leaned back and smirked. "Saving the team, of course. I'm Satoru, but 'pretty boy' works too."

The van stopped only once. "Where are we?"

Satoru smiled. "At your new workplace, dummy."

okay so! this is very roughly translated from Hungarian this is a silly little book me and my cousin decided to write last summer and we finally came to conclusion we should translate and post this maybe others will find it.. since we did this for shits and giggles only!

hope you enjoy make sure to tell your opinion! !