Title - His last wish
Pairing - Sy x reader
Warnings - Angst, smut, stillborn
Note - This one’s long and holds an element of things that I’d say are personal to me. It was therapeutic to write but a bit deep so consider that a warning. Also had it sitting in drafts for ages so not the best with proofreading!
Summary - Reader returns home after ten years still holding onto a deep burden. She’s home to see her dying grandfather but is worried about crossing paths with the one who broke her heart.
It had been ten years since you’d returned home. Ten years since you left to chase your dream of becoming a doctor. And ten years since your heart was crushed into a million pieces when your first love told you “We’re going in different directions”. You’d managed to stay away this long - your family understanding your turmoil and agreeing to visit you in the city instead. But now here you were standing on your parents doorstep after they called and begged you to come. Your beloved grandfather was dying and had asked to see you.
“Honey! Oh honey!” Your mother opened the door and pulled you into her arms. “What on earth? You said your plane was arriving at midday! We were coming to pick you up from the airport!”
“I took an earlier flight Mum. I didn’t want you driving”. You smiled as your mother kissed you on the forehead. Truth being, you did it on purpose. Wanting to avoid the airport greetings knowing that you could very well bump into Sy since the military base was close by and he had a habit of visiting the airport’s cafe.
“Your Dad will be cross”. Your mother smoothed down her apron and as you breathed in the scent of fresh apple pie.
“No he won’t”. You pulled your suitcase inside. “When has he ever been mad at me?”
“Honey …” Your mother held you at arms length as she smoothed down your hair like she did when you were a child. “Thank you for being here. It will make him happy .. I know it’s hard for you”.
“Mum ..” You swallowed and recited your well rehearsed speech. “I was nineteen years old. Young and stupid .. don’t worry I’m passed it”.
“I’m your mother, I know you love. I know what you went through”.
“It’s the past Mum. I’m here for granddad and for all of you”.
Your mother studied your face before she sighed. She rubbed your shoulder and gestured towards the upstairs guest room.
“I won’t .. shock him will I?”
“No but your father is in with him”. Your mother smiled. “You’ll shock him no doubt”.
Your eyes flickered to the locket your mother was wearing, the one that matched your own around your neck. Your heart clenched knowing that the same photo was inside and for a moment you wondered if you’d made the right choice in coming home.
Your mother looked down at the locket and then back at you. She smiled softly.
“I’ve never taken it off”.
“Neither have I”. You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I just .. I wonder a lot .. and I just think .. did I do something? Was I to blame? I know that’s stupid .. but I still think like that”.
“Honey .. never ever .. just ..” Your mother grabbed your face as her eyes filled with tears. “You did nothing wrong. I was there .. I know”.
“Oh Mum”. You hugged your mother as you cried softly. Her hands rubbed your back while she hummed softly in your ear in a bid to comfort your broken heart.
“Take your time love. Just breathe ok? Everything’s alright. You’re the strongest person I know darling. Such a brave nineteen year old and now look at you. Twenty nine and a doctor. Honey I’m so very proud of you”.
“Thank you Mum”. You wiped at your face. “Sorry for being so emotional. It’s just .. being back here. Knowing Sy’s here. It’s brought up so many deep feelings and memories”.
“I know love. We appreciate you being here and I promise you that we will look after you ok?”
“Thanks mum”. You glanced at the stairs. “I’m going to go see him now ok?”
“Alright love. I’ll finish fixing your room”.
You paused at the bottom of the stairs before walking up slowly. You stared at the timber door to your left and your hand traced over the handle before knocking twice then opening it slowly. You smiled at the look of surprise on your fathers face. He was sitting in a chair next to your grandfathers bed. He jumped up quickly, causing your grandfather to open his eyes.
“What are you doing here! Did I miss your flight? I didn’t doze off?”
“No Dad! I got in earlier”. You laughed quietly as your father hugged you before kissing your cheeks. You waved at your grandfather who was blowing you a kiss. “Hi Grandpa. I came to see you”.
“Look at you”. Your grandfather beckoned you over and you rushed to the side of the bed to grab his hands. “There’s my girl”.
“I missed you Grandpa. Im going to be here for a few weeks ok? So don’t you worry about anything”.
“Im glad sweetheart. These doctors tell me I’ve only got a few weeks but what do they know?” Your grandfather smiled. “You’re the only doctor I trust”.
“And im here to look after you”.
Your grandfather nodded as he lay his head back against the pillows. His fingers touched the locket around your neck.
“Im going to see him soon sweetheart”.
Your heart ached and you nodded. You saw your father wipe his face.
“I know”.
“Im going to look after him for you”.
“I know grandpa”. Your lip trembled. “Thank you”.
“Wyatt”. Your grandfather whispered.
“Wyatt”. You whispered as your grandfather closed his eyes, sleeping in soft breaths. You saw your father quietly leave the room, giving you time alone. When the door closed you lay your head on the bed next to your grandfathers arm.
Wyatt .. you repeated over and over. Your baby boy born at only 26 weeks that took one breath. He had been your savior throughout your heartbreak over losing Sy. When you found out you were pregnant Sy had already been deployed. You found out he wouldn’t be home for 12 months and was in a restricted area so you had no way of contacting him. You planned on telling him .. bringing Wyatt to him. You just had no way of knowing that you would lose him. And then you found out that Sy had a new girlfriend … actually many new girls. So you decided not to burden him with the memory of a son that he never got to meet. Was it wrong? Maybe. But you were young and broken.
The days that followed you spent looking after your grandfather. You were glad you came because the time you spent with him were therapeutic. You went through old family movies and photo albums .. his health was deteriorating rapidly but he was also smiling.
“Sweetheart?”
“Yes Grandpa?” You paused as you were reading him a passage of a book.
“Go see that boy of yours”.
“Sy? He’s not my boy Grandpa. It’s best kept in the past”.
“For me? I just want you to have peace”.
“I have peace Grandpa”. You paused. “There’s no use in bringing up all that hurt. He’s moved on, I’ve moved on”.
“What about Wyatt?”
“What good would that do now Grandpa? I tried to tell him but he was gone you know that. Then it ., happened and .. it was too late”.
“It’s never too late sweetheart”. Your grandpa patted your knee. “You are still hurting”.
“So why hurt him? After ten years?”
“You know why .. the same reason you tried to tell him in the beginning”. Your grandfather paused. “Because he has a right to know”.
“What right Grandpa?” Tears stung your eyes. “He left me. I was nineteen and in love with him! Then I came back after losing Wyatt and he was with every girl he could find! Like I was nothing!”
“Love .. you’re still hurt. Can’t you see that?” Your grandfather stared at you. “Just promise me that you’ll talk to him if your paths cross. You don’t have to search him out .. if fate has it then that’s another story”.
You chewed on your bottom lip as you looked at your grandfather. You couldn’t say no so you nodded.
“If our paths cross ..”
Your grandfather smiled and motioned for you to continue reading. You sighed and settled back into the armchair as you tried to forget about Sy.
3 weeks later your Grandfather passed away peacefully. You felt heartbroken yet content that you had such cherished time with him. The funeral was held a week later and he was laid to rest. You spent that afternoon helping your mother serve afternoon tea to the people that were at the service. Extended family and friends that came to pay their respects.
“Honey can you please put on another pot of coffee?” Your mother asked you. You nodded and headed into the kitchen. As you waited for the coffee to brew you felt a presence behind you. Your hands griped the counter as you breathed in the scent of spice that you knew so well. Your knees almost buckled but you willed yourself not to turn around. Not now, today of all days.
“Been awhile”.
There was no mistaking that Texas accent. You breathed in deeply and tucked some of your brown hair behind your ear. Instinctively your hand moved to your locket. You could do this .. surely you could do this. You breathed in deeply and slowly turned around.
“Hello Sy”.
“Hello Sugar”. His eyes stared at you intensely. “Been ten years hasn’t it?”
“Yes”.
“You look different .. still pretty as hell but real different”.
“I’m not a teenager anymore”. You swallowed as you took in his muscular physique. “Neither are you”.
“Turned 30 last month, can you believe it?” Sy scratched at his beard, something that was new to you.
“20th of July”.
“You remember?”
“Course”.
“Well I remember yours too .. hard to forget”.
Your face flushed remembering how you lost your virginity to him when you were 16 on your birthday.
“Yeah ..”
“I’m sorry about your Pa”. Sy breathed in deeply. “He was a good man”.
“Thank you. Yes he was”.
“He was .. hoping you’d spend some time here. I bet he was happy to see you”.
“You spoke to him?” You studied Sy’s face.
“Well I …” Sy paused.
“When?”
Just turn as your mother came in. She stoped dead in her tracks when she saw you standing with Sy. She smiled and pointed to the pot of coffee which you passed to her.
“Hello Sy. Thank you for coming”. Your mother glanced between the two of you.
“I’m sorry for your loss Mam”. Sy stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.
“Thank you dear. I’ll uh .. leave you to it”.
Your mother left and an uncomfortable silence filled the room. You looked at Sy but he looked as unsure as you felt. You cleared you throat and wondered what to say but just as you opened your mouth Sy spoke.
“I should go. Just came to pay my respects”.
“Oh ok”.
“It was real nice seeing you”.
Before you could react he walked out. For a moment you stood still, digesting what had just happened. Then you heart started pounding and before you could think you charged out of the kitchen and followed Sy out of the house. How dare he just show up like that. How dare he act like nothing had happened between you both?
“Wait!” You saw him turn around in surprise. You knew this was wrong. You were too emotional and part of you knew you should just go back in the house but you couldn’t help yourself. You matched right up to Sy and pushed at his chest with both your hands as hard as you could. “Why the hell are you here? Why? Today of all days!”.
“I told you I came to pay my respects!” Sy grabbed hold of your wrists as you pounded at his chest. “Just calm down”.
“I’m not going to calm down!”.
“Just listen to me!”
“No! You fucking left me!” You screamed. “You left me and never looked back! You chose the army over me and never even cared to see how I was!”
“I did what was best for you!”
“Best for me?” You laughed through your tears. “You were what was best for me you idiot”.
“You’re a doctor! That’s what you wanted and I was holding you back”. Sy let go of your wrists slowly.
“Right! You knew what was best. You just wanted to be a bachelor huh? I was holding you back”.
“Thats not true”.
“Fucked half of the town haven’t you?”
“Now you listen ..” Sy raised his voice.
“I tried .. I tried to reach you”. You sobbed causing Sy’s eyes to widen I shock. “Came back after and you were too busy playing the field ..”
“I was in Afghanistan for a year”. Sy’s voice softened. “You tried to reach me?”
“I tried .. I couldn’t ..” Your hands grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. “I tried ..” You gasped for air.
“You needed me?”
“I .. needed you”. You could barely make out his face through your tears. His hands gripped your shoulders. “I didn’t know what to do .. I was nineteen Sy. I was so scared ..”
“What are you trying to tell me? Whatever it is .. tell me”.
“I didn’t know what to do Sy”. You were choking out your words between sobs. “I didn’t know what to do”.
“Tell me ..”
“I found out .. I was pregnant”. You gripped his shirt so hard that your knuckles turned white. “I was having your baby”.
“What? You ..” Sy’s eyes searched yours. “You were .. pregnant?”
“Yes”.
“I’m .. I’m a father?”
“I was nineteen. I needed you”. You struggled to speak. “He .. he …”
“A boy?”
“Wyatt .. I lost him. I lost him Sy”. You felt his body go rigid for a moment. He was wiping your face, trying desperately to understand you.
“Lost him?”
“I .. he came early”. You felt his hands cup your face. “Twenty six weeks .. I had him but he didn’t make it”.
Sy pulled you against his chest. It started to rain but neither of you moved. The water soaked through your clothing but you were transfixed .. sobbing against Sy’s chest. Your heart ached the same way it did when Wyatt laid on your chest and took his only breath. Your heart ached when your mother held you and told you he had gone. It all came back just like it was happening all over again.
“I’m sorry”. Sy whispered against your wet hair. “I’m so sorry Sugar”.
“So am I”.
He held you against his chest as your vision blurred. You were vaguely aware of his arms holding you up and then everything went black. You thought you could hear your mothers screams, but maybe it was your imagination?
You woke up in your bed. The first thing you thought was that you must have dreamed everything. But then you noticed your wet black dress in the clothes hamper and then Sy sitting on a chair in your room. He had dry clothes on and they looked like your fathers.
“Sy?”
“Yeah I’m here”. Sy looked up from his hands. “I’ll go get your Ma …”
“It’s ok .. just wait”. You glanced under the covers and saw that you were wearing sweatpants and a t shirt.
“Your Ma changed you .. you fainted outside”.
“Oh .. I’m sorry”.
“Don’t be”. Sy looked at you and you could see the sadness in his eyes. “You’ve had a hard day”.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you .. I shouldn’t have come after you like that”. You swallowed. “I shouldn’t have told you like that”.
“Doesn’t matter now”. Sy smiled softly. “You’ve been through a lot .. I’d take your anger a thousand times over if it would make you feel better”.
“Just seeing you again .. “
“Forget it now. I’m just .. glad I know”. Sy stared at the ground. “Can I ask you some things? If you’re up to talking that is?”
“Ok”.
“You wanted to tell me that you were having my baby?”
The way he said “my baby” tugged at your heart. You nodded.
“Came back home and went to the base. They told me you were deployed for a year”.
“What were you thinking then?”
“I was going to have the baby then when you came back .. tell you. I was going to see if you wanted us”.
“Wanted you both? You thought I wouldn’t?” Sy looked at you as his voice broke. “That I’d turn you away?”
“I wasn’t sure how you felt about me .. but I knew you would want to know Wyatt”.
“Jesus”. Sy rubbed his face. “You don’t have a clue how much I loved you do you? I pushed you to take that scholarship because you were smart and you deserved more that this town could offer. I wanted that for you because I loved you”. Sy paused. “I would have taken you back in a heartbeat though .. I mean that .. killed me to let you go”.
Silence filled the room. You watched as Sy’s chest rose and fell.
“Oh”.
“Tell me .. about him if you can”. Sy glanced at you. “Can you?”
“What do you want to know Sy?”
“He was .. born in a hospital?”
“Yes. I went into labor early but at the time I didn’t think so .. thought it was a false alarm”. You swallowed. “My Mum was with me. One minute everything’s ok then they were telling me that he was in distress and I had to push”.
“You would have been so scared”.
“I was .. I wanted to keep him inside of me for longer. I knew he was coming too early”. You felt your hands shake. “He was .. so perfect but so tiny Sy. He just .. wasn’t strong enough and he ..”
“It’s ok”. Sy looked at you sadly. “I’m sorry you had to go through that .. I wish I had of been there”.
“He looked like you Sy”. You reached for a tissue on the nightstand. “So much”. You reached behind your neck to unclasp your locket. You handed it to Sy. “There’s a photo of him in there. It’s only small but it’s my favourite”.
You watched as Sy opened your locket. He stared at the photo inside for what seemed like eternity. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and he repeated this a few times.
“So small ..” He spoke the words to himself out loud. “I can’t believe that .. we made him. He’s just .. perfect”.
“I know”.
“Did you .. think after .. to tell me?”
“I came back a few months after because I heard you were home. I had every intention .. i went for a walk with my dad along the beach and I saw you ..” You chewed on your bottom lip as you fidgeted with the blanket. “You were with a girl .. actually you were with all your army friends .. playing volleyball but you were kissing a girl”.
“Oh”. Sy’s cheeks reddened at the memory. “I uh .. started seeing her for a bit. Didn’t last long”.
“Yeah so well I … didn’t want to ruin your life. Made sense at the time to me. I was young and thought why tell you? Wyatt was gone and you looked happy”.
“Sugar ..” Sy swallowed. “I wasn’t happy .. I was just trying to move on”.
“I saw you kissing her Sy .. you were different with me. You were all over her”. You sighed. “It doesn’t matter anyway. You were young too .. probably just enjoying not being tied down”.
“It wasn’t like that at all”.
“Like I said .. we were both young. Too young”. You saw Sy open his mouth then close it. There seemed nothing much more to say. The past was the past and neither of you could change anything.
“Was he .. was he ..” Sy stammered but somehow you knew what he was trying to say.
“He’s buried here … not far from where my Grandfather is”. You paused as your eyes flickered to Sy’s. “Do you want to go with me?”
“Yes .. yes I do”. Sy breathed out deeply. “And if .. if you have more photos?”
“My mum has an album that I made her. I’ll get it for you”. You watched as Sy nodded. Your heart felt constricted seeing how much pain he was in. Yet at the same time the weight in your shoulders was lifting. You closed your eyes for a moment thinking of Wyatt .. with great love came great pain.
The next few weeks were a blur. You spent countless days with Sy at Wyatt’s grave just talking. Which was nice because you also visited your grandfather and grandma too. But in the past seeing Wyatt’s tombstone was such a painful experience, but now with Sy it felt different. He sat next to you cross legged on the grass listening to every single detail about Wyatt’s existence. You told him everything from the beginning - how you found out, your morning sickness, your cravings for nachos and roast pumpkin. He listened .. almost intrigued as you opened your heart to him. After awhile it wasn’t just Wyatt that you talked about .. he told you about his deployments and all the terrors that came with his job. He told you about his parents divorce and also about his relationships since you.
“I’ve had a date here and there but nobody ..” You chewed on your bottom lip. “I was too busy getting into med school I guess?”
“No wealthy doctor tried to steal your heart?” Sy smiled.
“No”.
“Just for the record .. all those years ago .. the one you saw me with on the beach”. Sy paused. “She was someone I guess I tried to use to get over you. Now saying that out loud makes me feel really bad .. but I just needed to tell ya ok?”
“Sy .. it was so long ago”.
“I know .. but since we’re being honest”.
“I appreciate that”. You smiled softly. “My teenage self wanted to kick your ass though”.
“Don’t know what I would have done if I had of seen you that day ..”
“Guess we’ll ever know”. You played with a blade of grass as the sun started to set. “We should head back?”
“Do you wanna go some place first?”
You looked at Sy .. he suddenly didn’t seem like he was a 30 year old grown man. He reminded you of the Sy you once knew. Your Sy. He seemed apprehensive and a bit unsure of himself.
“Ok”. You let him help you to your feet and followed him to your truck.
Sy took you to a place you’d missed. A hill with a city view. The same place he’d kissed you for the first time. You felt your face flush at the memory and wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Your heart hammered against your chest and then you had to quickly turn turn your head before the emotion on your face showed.
“The sunset is nice here” Sy said as you tried to keep your breathing even.
“Come here often?” You turned to him and smiled.
“Only with you”. Sy stared at you. “And it’s been a few years”.
“I remember ..”
“You were sixteen”. Sy paused. “I was so fucking nervous ..”
“You were?”
“Course I was .. I knew it was going to be your first kiss. I wanted it to be special”.
“Sy ..” Your voice caught in your throat. “You shouldn’t have worried because everything with you was special”.
Sy stared at the beautiful sunset while you looked at his side profile. He was so different from the boy you once knew. He was a man .. a muscular man with a beard who was sure of himself in so many ways. But he was still Sy.
Slowly you reached for his hand and covered it with yours.
“We were just two kids Sy”.
“We were”.
“So much time has passed”.
“It has”. Sy turned to look at you. “But I’ll always love you. I’ll never love anyone but you”.
“Sy ..” You sucked in a breath.
“I wish things were different. I’d fucking do anything to re write the past. You have to believe me”. Sy turned his head and you knew him well enough to know that he was trying to hide his tears.
“Look at me Sy”. You watched as you saw his eyes filled with tears. Your hand reached to his cheek. “Oh Sy I’ve never loved anyone but you. And I’m so glad .. so very glad that it was you that was Wyatt’s daddy”. Your eyes filled with tears as you felt the wetness of Sy’s tears on your hand.
“I’m sorry”. He whispered. “I’m sorry that you lost your baby .. our baby”.
“I’m sorry too”.
He moved towards you and you waited. His eyes looked exactly how you remembered them, except his hands were different. Bigger, stronger .. they cupped your face as you inched closer.
“Stop me. Tell me you don’t want me .. tell me that you don’t have any feelings for me”. Sy’s lips were on your forehead, his breath hot against your skin. “Tell me now Sugar and I’ll drive you home”.
“I can’t Sy .. I can’t tell you that .. because it would be untrue”. Ten years of heartache and you were now at this point.
You heard him suck in a breath then his strong hands moved your neck up until you are looking at him. Your hands gripped the front of his t shirt and you willed yourself to stop shaking.
“I missed you”. Sy whispered just before his lips found yours. It wasn’t like the first time at all. His lips moved with purpose. His hands were now at the back of your neck, caught in your hair as his mouth opened and his tongue sought yours. This was a different Sy. He was older, experienced and wiser. You gasped into his mouth as his once tentative tongue was anything but. His hand moved to the small of you back, pulling you closer in the confined space of his truck.
“Sy .. I ..” You moaned as you broke apart for sure. “I missed you too”.
You missed ten years. You missed everything about him. You were scared but at ease too .. you wanted him to repair your fragile broken heart.
“Sy take me back to your place”.
Suddenly he was pulling back and looking into your eyes.
“I don’t need anything more. I just .. kissing you ..”
“I do .. I need you Sy”. Your lips trembled. “Please just .. don’t leave me this time”.
Your heart beat in anticipation as Sy stared into your eyes for what seemed like eternity. He slowly nodded before leaning over you to pull at your seat belt and buckle you in. As he moved back across you his breath passed your ear and you knew that he was just as needy as you were.
The drive back to Sy’s apartment was silent. His hand rested on your knee as you watched the city lights pass you by. Without thinking you fidgeted with the locket around your neck, immediately thinking of your son. But for some reason, this time you didn’t feel the usual ache in your heart. You felt at ease.
Soo you were inside his apartment. Sy was watching as you walked around his living room glancing at photographs and the medals/trophies he had on display. You felt nervous. Not that you didn’t want to be there with him, but because you didn’t know how to initiate things.
“Sugar?” Sy smiled softly at you when you turned around. “You ok?”
“Yeah I’m just nervous. I don’t know how to .. do this”.
“This?” Sy smirked. “We don’t have to do anything”.
“I want to .. I just .. It’s been a long time Sy. I just need ..” You stammered. “I need you to take the lead”.
“I didn’t want to assume anything .. that’s not what this is for me”.
“I feel the same”. You watched as he walked over to you. Suddenly his hands gripped your hips, pulling you flush against his hard body.
“I’m happy to take the lead Sugar”. Sy’s voice was slightly rough, sending an ache between your thighs.
“Then take me”.
Sy suddenly lifted you up and your legs wrapped around his waist. He carried you to his room, kicking the door shut with his foot. His eyes were transfixed to yours and you could feel his heart beating quickly against your own.
He placed you on his bed gently and stood Infront of you. He pulled his t shirt off in one motion and you felt your mouth drop open at the sight of him. Ten years ago he was lean yet now .. he was a fit man with a large muscular frame and chest hair. He smirked before removing his jeans and before you could react he took his boxers off too. You gasped and flushed when you saw the sight of his rock hard erection standing firm against his stomach. He seemed huge compared to how you remembered him.
“Your turn”. Sy’s hands grabbed at the fabric of your skirt and soon it was on the floor. You hastily tossed your t shirt over your head followed by your white lace bra. You watched as Sy took in your naked form before his eyes settled on your white lace panties. “You’re fucking perfect Sugar”.
“I’m not”. You whispered as he moved over your body, keeping his weight on his forearms as he kissed you. “I’ve changed”.
“You’re beautiful .. you’re not a girl anymore love. You’re a woman and you’re perfect”.
“I have ..” You stammered. “Stretch marks .. from the pregnancy”.
“Where?”
You face flushed but you pointed to your lower stomach where the small white lines existed. You gasped when Sy moved lower and his lips kissed every one of them.
“You’re beautiful and these … are a reminder of him. I wouldn’t change them for anything”. Sy whispered against your skin.
“Sy …” your eyes filled with tears as he continued to cherish you. After a few minutes he slipped your underwear off and settled between your legs. He smiled at you reassuringly before gently opening your thighs.
“Let me love you”. Sy kissed your inner thighs causing you to tremble. “Relax Sugar”.
You sunk back against his pillows as you remembered how you both had to learn how to please each other. You smiled at how inexperienced Sy was back then and how he’d constantly ask you if he was making you feel good with each swipe of his tongue. But now … this was a different Sy as he held you thighs open with both hands. His tongue sucked on your clit, and he didn’t ask you a single thing before he pushed a finger inside you.
“Oh Sy .. oh”. You were shocked at how good he made you feel. He clearly knew what he was doing as he alternated between sucking, licking and pumping not one but two fingers inside you.
“You gonna cum for me Sugar?”
You face burned. This wasn’t the boy you knew. Sy had never communicated much during your intimate moments, yet this Sy was very vocal.
“Sy”.
One of his hands held your lower stomach to stop you from moving while his mouth sucked on your clit. Suddenly his fingers curled inside you and you arched your back. You felt heat pool in your stomach and you swore that you saw stars as you called out his name over and over again.
When you came to a moment later, Sy was still between your legs. He was looking up at you but his fingers were still moving inside you, riding out every last bit of pleasure. You watched as he looked between your legs and you fought the urge to close them.
“Don’t ..” Sy stared at you. His eyes were dark and he licked his lips before looking between your legs again. “Wanna see you Sugar. I’ve … Jesus I’ve fantasized about this for years”.
“Sy ..” Your face was heated as your eyes fell to his other hand which was fisting his cock as he touched you. “Sy .. oh god Sy .. feels so good”.
“I could cum just like this. Just watching me touch your pussy”.
“Sy!” You gasped. He had never talked dirty to you before.
“Don’t deny you like it .. I felt you clench on my fingers love”. Sy smirked.
“Can I touch you?” You whispered. Sy nodded before withdrawing his fingers. He held your gaze as he put his fingers in his mouth.
“You taste so good”.
“Lie down”. You smiled and shook your head as you changed positions. You leaned over him and kissed his lips softly. “Where’s my shy inexperienced Sy?”
“Long gone baby”. Sy smiled.
You laughed as you reached for his cock. He groaned as you moved your hand up and down his shaft like you used to do. You explored him slowly before watching as Sy spat on his hand and rubbed himself before replacing your hand with his. You were shocked but his reaction at the feel of your hand with the lubrication made you ache between you legs.
“That’s it love .. oh god yeah just like that”. Sy moaned. He had his eyes closed, head thrown back. Hesitantly you moved your hand to his base before lowering your mouth on him. You struggled with oral and you felt embarrassed to tell Sy that he was the last person you were with. You had no clue if you could make him feel good. Your doubts were gone the second you heard him gasp.
“Jesus! Oh god baby ..” Sy glanced down at you in shock. “You don’t have to .. oh fuck”.
You started to bob your head while your hand worked on him. Your clit throbbed at the sounds he made and the profanities thar left his mouth.
“Fuck baby ..” His hand moved to your head and gently applied pressure. You quickly looked at him and released him with a pop.
“Sy I haven’t been with anyone since you .. I’m not sure ..I just wanted you to know”. You muttered. “I just ..I want to make you feel good”.
Sy opened and closed his mouth before his thumb grazed your cheek. You could tell that he was lost for words. Ten years was a long time after all. You’d had a few dates here and there, some kisses and a few heavy make out sessions with a college of yours. But nothing further. Something always held you back.
You held Sy’s gaze as your mouth engulfed him again and this time Sy’s hand tangled in your hair while he gently helped you find a rhythm. He sat up slightly to watch you and the whole time he muttered praises.
“God that’s it baby. Jesus your mouth .. look at me, don’t take your eyes off me Sugar”.
You stared at him and your confidence grew along with the arousal pooling between your legs.
“God you’re beautiful .. so fucking beautiful”. Sy gently moved your mouth off him and sat up to kiss you passionately. He whispered in your ear that he was close and needed to be inside you.
He moved you onto your back and kissed you as he pulled his body on top of yours. You were kissing him back and so completely lost in the sensations that you were feeling.
“Sugar just a sec”. Sy lent across you and pulled open a draw. You realised he was getting a condom. You were glad that he was responsible but also a little bit hurt to know that he had used them with other women. Sy opened the packet with his teeth and you watched as he sat back between your legs and rolled the condom on. He looked up at you and noticed your expression. “You ok?”
“You .. have a big box of those”.
“Guess so”. Sy rubbed your hips gently.
“I didn’t mean to say that out loud”.
“It’s ok Sugar. But I can’t apologize for anyone after you .. I had no idea back then that I’d ever be with you again. I thought it was over for good”.
“I hate the thought of you with anyone else”. You paused. “I hate the thought of you using those with anyone else”.
“And I don’t want anyone else but you”. Sy lent forward to kiss you. “You still want me?”
“Course I do”. Your hands wrapped around his neck as he kissed you deeply. You felt him rub his cock up and down your opening before the tip moved inside you.
“Keep your eyes on me”. Sy’s fingers moved to your clit as he pushed into you gently. “That’s it Sugar. Oh Jesus you feel so good”.
“Sy”. Your eyes went wide as your body struggled to remember the act. You felt your walls tense as you willed yourself to relax.
Sy was halfway in when he moved to bring his mouth to your breast. He sucked on your nipple while his fingers moved in circles on your clit. You started to moan as you threw your head back. He seemed to know exactly what you needed. Gone was the awkward Sy you once knew. Once he felt you relax he pushed completely inside you inch by inch.
“Sy!”
His mouth left your breast and found your lips. He sucked on your bottom one before you opened your mouth and to your surprise he pushed his tongue into your mouth, mimicking the act between your bodies. You could feel his pubic hair flush against your bare skin as he ground his hips into you. You marveled in the feeling.
“You’re so tight .. god I’ve missed you”. Sy leaned back to look at you. “You ok?”
“More than ok”.
“You tell me if it’s too much .. I don’t wanna hurt you”.
“It doesn’t hurt Sy .. I just .. you feel so big”. You flushed.
“Yeah?”
You watched him smirk before he kissed you again. His lips moved to your ear.
“Gonna make you scream my name baby”.
Slowly he thrusted into you before pulling all the way out and thrusting back inside. Your hands clutched fistfuls of his sheets and you started moaning. He was playing you like an instrument.
“You like that Sugar? Gonna make you cum on my cock”.
Your toes curled as he continued to whisper dirty things on your ear. Your hands felt the way that his muscular back rippled before moving to his shoulders then his biceps. You realized then that you loved his arms. They were so strong and you couldn’t wrap your hand around them. He was very much a grown man now.
“Sy .. god you feel good inside me”.
“You feel like heaven”. Sy thrusted deeply into you as his hand moved to grip behind your knee, pushing your leg up higher so that he had better access. You couldn’t believe how deep he was. He was touching a part of you that felt so good. Your whole body started to feel like it was on fire.
“Right there Sy!”
“Yeah? Right there baby?” Sy hit the magic spot over and over again. “Need to feel you Sugar .. need to feel you cum”
You were struggling to breath, no words left your mouth as the most intense orgasm overcame you. You started shaking and your mouth opened to scream but for a moment there was a delay before you cried out. Your heartbeat was pounding in your ears as Sy kept thrusting into you. In your haze you watched him - sweat glistening on his chest, his muscles contracting in his huge shoulders and the words spilling from his lips made you even wetter if that was possible.
“I love fucking you .. god how I love you”.
You felt your heart explode as you watched Sy chase his orgasm. His hands moved both your legs over his shoulders and you felt him slide even deeper inside of you. The initial shock of the position he had you in quickly turned to intense pleasure as he touched a sensitive spot deep inside you. His hands found yours and he interlaced your fingers with his as he neared his release. A few deep thrusts and he exploded inside of you. He let out the most manly, almost animalistic sound as his hands moved your legs off his shoulders and his head dropped to you chest. Your hands stroked his back as he continued to thrust shallowly into you and empty ever drop of his release.
You held onto him as you struggled to catch your own breath and you hoped that Sy would need a moment to recover. You wanted to stay exactly the way that you were for as long as possible.
“I love you” You whispered softly. “Just in case you didn’t know”.
“I know Sugar .. nothings changed”. Sy’s mouth was hot against your skin before he kissed your cleavage then traced your nipple with his tongue. Heat instantly rushed to your face. You didn’t want to know where Sy leant the things he was doing to you .. he certainty wasn’t this way ten years ago. But part of you was thankful that you got to experience it with him now. You were amazed that even after such passionate love making that he was still attentive to your body. Still trying to draw out ever bit of pleasure from you.
“Sy”. You breathed into his hair as his mouth moved to your other nipple and his fingers traced your other bud.
“Hush Sugar”. Sy smirked against your skin. “I missed these”.
“Now I know why all the ladies want you Sy”.
“Why’s that?” Sy looked up at you before he rolled you both to your sides with him still inside.
“I don’t know what happened .. well I know but .. Sy you’re good .. so good in bed”. You blushed.
“Thank you Mam but I’m all yours Sugar. If you’ll have me”.
“I want you .. I can’t go back to before .. not after this ..”
“Then don’t”.
“You want me?”
“All of you” Sy smiled at you before moving out of your body slowly. You watched as he went to the bathroom and returned with a warm hand towel. You wondered what he was doing when he parted your thighs and started to clean you.
“What? Sy ..”
“Shhhh Sugar ..”
“Sy”. You winced slightly, knowing that years of abstinence would probably mean you wouldn’t walk straight the next day.
“You sore love?”
“Just worked muscles that haven’t been used in a long time Sy”.
“I wasn’t too rough?”
“No Sy. You were perfect”.
“Ok baby. You always talk to me won’t ya? Tell me if I do something you don’t like?” When you nodded he went to the bathroom to dispose of the used hand towel.
You smiled when he returned back from the bathroom and lay down next to you. He was on his back staring at the ceiling.
“What are you thinking about?”
You watched as Sy reached across to the nightstand draw and passed you an envelope. You nodded at it, indicating that he wanted you to open it.
“What’s this?” You looked at it, addressed to Sy.
“Open it”.
Slowly you did and as you clutched the paper your mouth fell open. You had to re read it.
“My grandfather sent this?”
“It came a few weeks ago .. He wanted to make sure ..”
“He asked you to come to the house after the funeral. He wanted you to see me”. You traced your finger over your grandfathers writing. “He .. wrote this when he was dying Sy”.
“He did .. and I’m glad that I kept his wish”.
“Oh Sy”. You put the envelope on the table next to you and pulled Sy down to kiss you. His hand roamed gently on your stomach and you knew Sy was thinking about Wyatt too.
“We can’t go back Sugar”
“No we can’t Sy”
“I wish we could”.
“So do I”.
“But .. even after everything .. I feel blessed right now”. Sy cupped your face. “With you, here in this moment”.
You felt lucky in so many ways. You got to see your grandfather one last time and you got to reconnect with Sy and tell him about the son you both shared. You had no idea what the future held except that you were happy .. for the first time in 10 years.
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