Guys guys guys I did an interview about what itās like to be Christian and Autistic! Hereās the questions + answers. š
1. When you think about your faith, where do you most feel itāis it in the structure and ritual of practice, in study and understanding, in community, in something more intuitive, or somewhere else entirely? I'm curious whether the way your mind works shapes where God feels most present to you.
I think for me that I feel it most when it comes to submitting to and obeying God. I think with being Autistic that Iām extremely literal and need evidence for things, so accepting that God was real when it didnāt seem intuitive was really hard for me. When I accepted God is real, then adopting the Christian moral system wasnāt hard. I think that being Autistic is actually an advantage. I love having a system of values to follow. Even if I fall short sometimes. So I would say from most to least intense, 1. āStructureā and having something to submit to and obey, 2. Study and understanding, 3. Community. Iāve still struggled to find community which has been hard for my entire life but there are some Christian student orgs where I spend time infrequently at my college, and Iāve also found a lot of connection through my Tumblr page, where I post a lot about being Christian.
2. Church can carry a lot of unspoken social rules ā when to stand, how long to make eye contact, what kind of small talk happens after the service. How have those expectations landed for you, and have you found spaces or practices where you can worship without that overhead?
I havenāt actually started going to church yet since I havenāt found a congregation which I feel comfortable identifying with, and Iāve been focusing on cultivating a personal relationship with God.
3. A lot of Christian language leans on metaphor and abstraction ā "open your heart," "let go and let God," "walk in the Spirit." How do you relate to that kind of language? Does it resonate, or do you find yourself wanting something more concrete?
I think for me it hasnāt been a problem because even when the language appears abstract, Iām still able to take it literally. So like when it comes to those examples Iām able to apply a really literal interpretation. Yet I also love searching for additional meaning and subtext in scripture. Thereās often the surface level meaning (that we should open our hearts, meaning be more accepting of others around us, that we should let go and let God, meaning to allow Godās hand in our path and humble ourselves that we donāt know better, etc.), but additional subtext to how it applies. God and scripture are always right. I think the Christian faith inherently just has good moral values, including loving others as you love yourself, not looking lustfully at others, not engaging in premarital sex, etc..
4. You just made an interesting point regarding the Christian faithās values on not engaging in premarital sex. Some people might believe that you and others chose Christianity because of an inability to āget laid.ā What would you say to those people?
When I started being Christian/converted one of the things I actually felt strongest about was being against casual/premarital sex. I think itās one of the ways in which our society has become corrupted, and it encourages people in my generation to approach relationships at a surface level and see others (especially women) as objects. This isnāt what God wants for us. I donāt think my conversion was about that. Iāve felt drawn to casual sex/the current relationship paradigm because of social expectation. But Iāve also felt conflicted. With regards to your question about an inability to āget laid,ā Iāve never had sex, Iām still a virgin, but Iām happy to convert and be a virgin (what God intends until after marriage) than not. People who arenāt virgins can still convert and accept Godās forgiveness however. He still loves all of us.
5. Have you ever encountered the idea that your autism is something to be prayed away or "healed," and if so, how did you make sense of that against a belief that you were made intentionally and loved as you are?
I know there are some people in the Christian faith who feel that autism is demonic or the work of the devil, that disability was introduced because Adam and Eve strayed from Godās commands and itās something to be eradicated. What I think is that the ādisabilityā framing is a social construct, weāve been conditioned to see autism as a disability. When in fact I think God intended for me to be this way. I talk about this on my Tumblr page but I think God highly values the intensity and passion and hyperfocus that all come from my autism. Even if being Autistic also causes me struggles. Whatās important to remember is that God intended for me to be Autistic.
6. Some autistic people describe a strong pull toward justice, honesty, or moral consistency ā taking commitments very seriously and noticing when things don't add up. Has your faith ever intersected with that in a way that felt clarifying, or in a way that created tension?
I think the framing of this question out of the most reflects how I feel about being Christian. I love having a system of values to follow that align with many of the things that I already believed. When it was explained to me that God is fundamentally good, that was when everything shifted for me. Iāve been experiencing various seasons of intensity with my relationship with God. There was the immediate aftermath of converting where I was super intense, then I strayed away, then I went to the psych ward, and shortly after leaving was intense again, then Iāve strayed away. But thatās entirely valid. In those periods Iāve learned to be more intentional about submitting to God. So thatās part of the strong pull. God is compelling, magnetic, and hypnotic. When you understand just how good he is then you canāt help but be amazed. About struggling when things donāt add up, I think God encourages us to be critical thinkers and analyze scripture. Since often when we donāt understand something in his commandments it represents something inside us thatās resistant. God and scripture are always correct and often makes the same point from multiple perspectives, which can be hard. But itās only felt good so far to be Christian.
7. Is there any final thing youād like to say or add that wasnāt covered in the interview?
Thank you for having me! Iām so happy to share what itās been like for me being Christian and Autistic, and the connection between those things. If I could give ahh parting advice to Christians when it comes to understanding Autistic congregation members, or even Autistics who read this and arenāt yet Christian, places where we find stumbling blocks may not always be the ones that were apparent or obvious to non-Autistics. Youāre still valid and loved by God. When you accept God is totally in control and master, and adopt his system of moral values (the majority of which are just good values to live by anywaysāloving others as yourself, not looking at people lustfully, not engaging in premarital sex, etc.), youāll feel so good and fulfilled.
