#new behavior

I need to know, I can't wait for that paper. Godspeed incredible raccoon researcher.

My brother still lives at home with my parents whilst he’s finishing off his apprenticeship degree, and does a mix of university and working for it. My parents have told me that he’s suddenly started acting really out of character. Last Thursday he came home from work extremely angry after having a meeting that day. He told my mum he got angry because my dad had opened the windows in his room (along with the rest of the house), which seems like a very small thing to react to. He then drank around 3/4 of a bottle of whisky that night, which is an insane amount and although he’s a big drinker, that’s much more than he would normally drink. Since then (nearly a week now), he's barely spoken to anyone. He won't look my parents in the eye, tells them to "go away" whenever they try to talk to him, and have said they "don't give a shit" about him. My parents have tried asking what’s wrong and how they can help, but he gets defensive and tells them to go away. What's worrying is that it's not just my parents, he’s not really seeing his friends either. Usually he’s socialising with friends several days in the week and over the weekend. Our other brother contacted his friends on Sunday to say he’s concerned, and since then he’s had two friends turn up on Sunday, one friend took him out yesterday and another two came to see him tonight but apparently he still wasn’t acting like himself. He's still doing some work and university coursework, although his work pattern has changed since last Thursday as usually he’d be going on site and now he’s apparently working from home. One thing that might be relevant is that he definitely has ADHD. I have ADHD myself and was diagnosed as an adult, and I'm very confident he has it too, but he's never been assessed or treated. Growing up he was always labelled as naughty and getting into trouble, he had classic ADHD behaviour and still does to this day. I try to get him to get a diagnosis and medication but he says he doesn’t want to rely on medication. I know from my experience growing up undiagnosed, I felt a lot of shame and very misunderstood, and even though I’ve been on medication for 5 years now I still struggle with self esteem problems. I defend my brother a lot to my parents when they call him lazy or untidy (he’s classic adhd doesn’t clean up after himself and his rooms a mess, which from my experience I know is very hard to do unless on medication) My own theory (and I know it's only a guess) is that something may have happened at work, perhaps he made a mistake or got criticised, and because of untreated ADHD and years of feeling misunderstood he's taken it incredibly personally and is now overwhelmed and ashamed. But I genuinely don't know. I'm going home this weekend and I usually have the best relationship with him. We don’t really open up emotionally to each other, I think we both find that hard to do in general but we can talk to each other more than anyone else in the family. I’m his older sister so I’ve always looked out for him and I think we get each other well. I don't want it to be obvious that I'm checking up on him, but I just want advise on how best to approach this. Has anyone experienced anything similar, either personally or with a family member? And what's the best way to approach him without making him feel pressured?

Honestly, with the symptoms, my immediate thoughts were steroids or another type of drug (downers can enhance and worsen symptoms of adhd like impulsivity). I just want to throw that out there to be on the lookout for because I know in my own experience that it's a lot easier to catch potential addiction in strangers than people you know and love.

As for talking to him, all you can do is approach him with an open mind and lots of patience. Tell him you've been hearing people are concerned about him and let him know you're open to talking, judgement-free. You just want to help him if he needs help. Don't push too hard. Just show him that you're open to listening and that you're a safe space. Leave the door open. He might not open up right away, even if he opens up later. The best thing to do is plant the seed.

For Those New To Sobriety~

Here’s a little something to shine the light on… I think many of us have these worn down mental pathways of thinking that reinforce ugly feelings. And once we feel these ugly feelings – they – in turn – reinforce the ugly thoughts. And we go ’round and ’round in ugly circles. What might be worth trying is doing something that breaks this habit of thinking. In other words – participating in a new…

"Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made.  If you want a different result, make a different choice." ~ Joe Dispenza

This seems really obvious, however, we can so easily delude ourselves into thinking we've made a change, and really haven't.  I've had this experience over the course of years, thinking I was finally taking care of a long term problem, only to read that I vowed to make the same change 12 months before.

Big, dramatic change can be too much of a shock to the system, anyway, resulting in a return to exactly the same behavior, and the same, comfortable, predictable result.  We may not like it, but it feels like home!

Small changes are a great way to start. Smiling and a kind word to a person you've been at odds with. Putting the cash for one latte a day into a  drawer. Learning a few words of a language each day, clearing out one cupboard or closet each week, one volunteer afternoon each month.

The trick is to find something altogether "new-to-you" to try.   Adventure!         

Research by an international team of scientists has uncovered a new, unpredicted behavior in a copper oxide material that becomes superconducting at relatively high temperatures. This new phenomenon presents a challenge to scientists seeking to understand its origin and connection with high-temperature superconductivity. Their ultimate goal is to design a superconducting material that works at room temperature.