For My Neurodivergent Folks
We have come into a time where Neurodivergent people are discovering who they are with and without diagnoses. We are finding each other, helping each other and celebrating each other. One of the ways we celebrate each other is by encouraging people to unmask, live freely, be who they are and make the world deal with us as is. And that is great in my opinion- to a degree. I am going to say something probably unpopular. It is not always a good idea to live your life unmasked at all times, and always interact with people that way. My reasoning behind it is because you are moving in a way that is out of the 3D design and that causes pushback. It instigates change for the better, absolutely. But it can also at times cause pushback that can have extremely unsafe repercussions. The worst part about this is that these rifts that we make often go by unnoticed by us. Worse still is that because of our differences, we are not always afforded social safety- unless we know/remember how these patterns still operate and guide ourselves accordingly.
My curiosity is childlike. The need to explore and collect experiences, operate around people. This is okay to a degree, but the downside is my behavior can also be seen as nefarious and full of secret motive. In short-snakelike more than childlike. Worse still is my ability to be fluid- easily adaptable and unafraid of change, especially if I find my current life posture incorrect. In the past before my spiritual awakening I can clearly see in retrospect where things I did were intentionally wrong— shady, mean, twofaced or just plain unaligned. So now that I am trying my best to live honest and upright and aligned, if ever I am called something negative and similar to my old self I try to learn why instead of getting angry or upset. You can learn a lot about patterns if you see your behavior through the eyes of a neurotypical person and how they label it. This is because they think and move in the way the 3D is designed. This isn’t a good thing or bad thing. It just is. You never know who is watching you, but sometimes you come across one. Watch them watching you and see what you come up with.
For normal, neurotypical people, social contracts are often implied simply through interaction. A lot of neurodivergent people dont know that- we deal with and understand resolutes a little better. I will use a childish example: relationships. Some people will date long enough that they will often automatically see each other as their partner or counterpart. But others quite literally need to hear: “Will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend?”*** And because of not knowing about implied social contracts and the expected loyalty that comes with them, you can be igniting landmines and not even know it due to your missteps. This is why I refuse to enter some industries. My naïveté of those social contracts and offending people inadvertently could get me seriously harmed. No Deal.
(***Actually this is a whole other topic that can be dived into in the future: how do neurotypical and neurodivergent people fare in relationships together? Does the matter of your neuroses come in importance even before attachment styles?)
In neurodivergent people’s dogged interest for justice and doing the right thing, our trying to fix broken situations can also do more harm than good. In the 3D, an apology does not always mean you are sincerely trying to make amends. It could mean a request for admission, inclusion, or alliance. You need to know these patterns in order to move correctly around neurotypical (normal) people, and that means deciding if you still want to apologize once you know what this could lead to. In my opinion: I do it anyway. If I’m wrong then I aim to acknowledge it, take accountability for it and I dont want anything from you but you to know that I am remorseful. On the flip side of this, do not assume that once you apologize you are forgiven. Intent does not negate impact (how you made someone feel) and you cannot force amends. A smile and a false sense of relief can lead a neurodivergent person into the open mouth of a tiger. People have the right to not forgive you and they may even soothe themselves with the liberty of vengeance. If you still want to aplogize after wrongdoing, then do so because its the least (and sometimes the most) that you can do.
All neurodivergent people are not innocent and good. Just like all neurotypical people are not all sly and bad. Sometimes we can all be both. Growing as a “NeuroD” means learning and accepting all the gray areas and applying them to life. I’ve burned a lot of bridges due to both intended (past) and unintended (present) actions… but the one thing I have come away with from the experiences is how not to do it again. I will never stop learning. Bottom line if you happen to be in a “You should know this!” environment or situation, you are where 3D rules are dominant and its time to have your patterns locked and loaded. Yes, always strive to be yourself. But yes also always keep social pattern roles in the tuck! Some of the people (many,actually) that we interact with are also neurodivergent, but they have mastered 3D-designed social patterns. I consider them people who have gamed the system until the rest of us can meet them there. And cheers to the unmasking after that.
