nothing like living at home again for the first time since you were 17 to bring you right back to posting on Tumblr crying in bed two days before an exam because you're stressed and your sister is insensitive and your parents don't see anything wrong in how she treats you and you have nobody to talk to because all your friends (all 2 of them) (one of them being your boyfriend) are in other timezones and doing important interesting things with their lives and you are here. crying. because a literal 16 year old cannot be bothered to speak to you with baseline politeness while being lovely and playful and fun to everyone around you. there's something profound to be said here about how life is an infinitely folded piece of paper and how being in the same space with the same people brings you back to when you were 15 and 13 and 8 and wishing that you had never been born because at leat then you wouldn't have this gaping void in your heart where sibling love is supposed to go and the rest of the family could just be happy and how this feels more ok to say than wishing she had never been born because she is the best of them, of all of the people who have raised us, and she is all you can never be and you are. nothing.
