#netfliix

( rafe cameron x female! reader )

warnings angst, and a little bit of swearing i think

word count 1.4k

summary rafe cameron isn’t open to the idea of receiving help from the reader, who is desperately trying to get rafe to let his walls down.

credit to @popemaybank​ for the gif

The door to the Cameron household was opened by the youngest Cameron, Wheezie, who greeted you with a wide smile on her face before opening the door wider, allowing you to step foot into the house. “Hey, Wheezie, how you holding up today?” you greeted the girl whose tiny frame made it seem as though you were towering her. “Good enough, y/n. Rafe is in dad’s office,” she responded hurriedly, running back to her room, probably was busy. 

You made short eye contact with Rose on your way to Ward’s office, and instantly, you could hear the loud voices of the son and father ringing through the hallway. You looked down at your shoes, not wanting to go any further as you didn’t wish to intrude, however, you did want to know what your boyfriend was arguing about with his father. Before you could take another step closer to the office, Rafe stepped out of it, his foot stomping on the expensive wooden flooring with rage. “Rafe?” you softly called out at the boy, whose hands frustratingly tugged on the ends of his blonde hair and eyes shut. As soon as he heard your voice, his eyes instantly opened; inside, he felt a wave of calmness wash over him after seeing you, knowing that you were probably the only person who could help him forget about all the problems he had. But outside, he didn’t want to show the vulnerability, he didn’t want you to know that he was in deep struggle, and you weren’t one to disregard instances like this. If he followed his heart, he would’ve walked over to you and gently wrapped his arms around your frame, caressing your back lovingly. But his ego, his infelicitous ego, got the better of him. “This isn’t a good time, y/n” he mumbled, loud enough for you to hear.

His words didn’t usually affect you, but after several instances of the same thing happening over and over again, him treating you as if you were just mud on the bottom of his shoe whenever he had a visible problem by making you seem like the most unimportant person in his life was getting perpetual. You weren’t going to let him treat you the way he was treating you, not this time. 

Yours and Rafe’s relationship was going steadily; both of you trusted one another, he went for parties without you and you never had to think twice about him locking lips with another girl or chatting up another girl, and you still to this day, don’t. It’s not like you believed that he was hiding something for you, you respected his privacy as much as he did yours, and him being an inherently private person compared to you since the beginning of your relationship, you never felt the need to know every single thing that’s going on in his eventful life.

He began walking away from you, leaving you to stand in the middle of his own house, the one he invited you over to. “Oh, hey, y/n” you heard Ward’s deep voice greet you, and you simply responded to him with a forced smile. You and Ward didn’t have the most blossoming encounters with one another, yet he managed to be as nice to you as he could. Once you looked down the hall again, you noticed that Rafe was gone, probably into his own room. You scoffed in disappointment before making way to his room.

Rafe wasn’t in the mood to talk, not to you, not to anybody. He rubbed his temples out of frustration in order to release some nerves. You rested on the side of his doorway, your eyes set on your boyfriend of three years who was in misery, and for a reason you didn’t know. “Are you okay?” you questioned, making your way to sit on the edge of his bed. He looked up at you a few meters away from him; in all honesty, he didn’t know if he was okay. Maybe it was just a problem that would be fixed within hours, regardless, he was worrying over it. He wasn’t the best communicator, which made it ten times harder for him to speak about his feelings to you, even when he wanted to. He refrained from doing the aforementioned action because he didn’t want pity, he didn’t want to seem attention-seeking, or be called out for not acting like a man. 

Rafe Cameron was fighting his own demons by himself, it became more and more apparent to the people around him that he was, including you. “I’m really just not in the mood to talk right now, y/n,” he stressed on the really, his voice was raising and the last thing you wanted to do was start an argument with him. Instead, you took a more holistic approach; if he didn’t want to speak, then he didn’t have to. You wanted to comfort him as much as you can and make him feel safe. No amount of his family’s money could help him in bettering himself, no amount of cash could help him forget about all things evil that were going on in his mind, no amount of cars and motorcycles could help him get to a point where he was completely happy with himself, because he always seemed to mess it up for himself. 

You crawled beside him, not as close to him as you usually would be, a rather large amount of space left between the two of you. That, that made him uncomfortable. Rafe was a massive softie most of the time with you, craving cuddles and movie nights. And to see you taking physical space away from him, which was extremely unlikely of you, made him look at you confusingly. “The fuck?” he mumbled, his right arm wrapped around your shoulder and lazily pulled you closer to him. His fingers began playing with the ends of your hair, and a few seconds later you felt the weight of his head resting on your shoulder.

A few minutes passed by, the two of you remained in the same position. The tranquil aura present in the room washed over the two of you. If it weren’t for Rafe breaking the very far from awkward silence, you were sure you would’ve drifted into deep slumber with who you called the love of your life beside you.

“Are you upset with me?” his words were weak and he sounded hesitant, you could notice the roughness of his voice, probably due to the screaming contest he was having with Ward. You turned your face to his side, causing him to lift his head off your shoulder and look into your eyes. “Do I have a reason to be?” 

“Rafe, you’ve gotta tell me what’s wrong, or just let me help,” you added. You didn’t know if that would’ve been the point he would burst at you for interrogating into it, but you took the risk anyway. He shook his head, opened his mouth to respond but no words came out. You gave him time, allowed him to understand what really was going on. 

His hands rested on your inner thigh, and he, once again, looked at your face that he thought was getting more and more beautiful as each day passed by. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life, y/n. It’s like everything is coming crashing down on me,” he finally let out, and when he looked away from you quickly, his eyes were glazing with tears that he has been holding in for a prolonged period of time. “It’s so hard. I don’t know what I’m even living for aside of you anymore,”

You felt yourself tearing up too. You knew Rafe has been having issues, more emotionally than physically, but you never realised that he felt the way he described himself to feel. “Hey, hey,” you croaked out, asking Rafe to look at you. Seeing his eyes that were gradually turning red, this time, not from cocaine, made your heart rate pulsate. “Don’t say that ever again, Rafe. You’re so capable, you’re just nineteen, you will figure it out, trust me,” you would be lying if you said that you knew what you should say, Rafe had never openly spoken about such topics with anybody before, but the mere fact that he did so with you made you feel slightly elated. You knew you were going to help him. 

Author: Caroline Kepnes

Published by: Simon & Schuster

Pages: 424

Format: Paperback

My Rating ★★★★

Joe Goldberg is handsome, charming and ready to fall in love. And when aspiring writer Guinevere Beck strides into the bookstore where Joe works, he is instantly smitten. He knows he has to see her again. So Joe does what anyone might: he looks Beck up online, and learns everything he can to set up another chance to meet her. Their chemistry is immediate. It seems like the perfect romance.

But there’s more to Joe than Beck realises… and more to Beck than Joe could ever guess. Their relationship soon spirals out of control, and the darkness they unleash will have deadly consequences for everyone in their lives.

My thoughts:

You is a thriller novel by Caroline Kepnes, was published in September 2014, and has recently been adapted into a Netflix original series of the same name.

After their first encounter at the bookstore, Joe becomes infatuated and begins to quietly and obsessively take control of Beck’s life. Moving from stalker to boyfriend, Joe works tirelessly to transform himself into Beck’s ideal man, all while secretly removing the obstacles that stand in their way—even if that means murder.

The thing about Joe is that his craziness really sucks you in. I even kind of liked Joe in parts of the book, along with his totally inappropriate thoughts and actions.

I don’t want to give too much of the plot away, but I can definitely tell you that Joe is a stalker and a murderer. He is also probably the most candidly honest character that I've ever come across. The author’s writing is so absorbing and she truly captured the mind of a crazy stalker, while also allowing him to remain human. This made the plot even more compelling and an immensely creepy and twisted undertaking to keep reading. 

Stylistically, I felt that Joe’s brutally honest inner monologues about people and society in general worked really well in portraying a loner with many issues and a great sense of darkness within. He really is such an interesting character, and being inside his brain is quite the experience. As I was reading, there were points when I actually felt kind of guilty for being enthralled by the madness and behaviour of the narrator. It really had me on the edge of my seat from page one. 

I also really loved all the film and literature references Joe makes throughout the book, and at one point, when shopping for furniture with Beck, he even compares his time there with the magical IKEA moment that Tom and Summer share in 500 Days of Summer. It is all so weird, yet immensely thought provoking, and highly entertaining.

Be warned, this is a hypnotic and creepy read, but ultimately You is a book I just couldn’t get myself to put down. The characters are just fascinating, the writing is brilliant and I’m hoping to get my hands on the sequel soon to see what comes next. This addictive thriller is definitely worth reading!

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