#nessa's post

also you misgender a trans person

Oh my god, here we go again...

Just leave it alone! Stop bothering about this whole situation and do something useful. Stop trying to find hidden meanings in these messages and goddamn posts!

This is my new Tumblr account for now because for some reason weird things started happening to my main account (nessaprower2000), like: Private chat where I communicated with my friends - disappeared for some reason and can't return this, and when I typed myself in - it didn't indicate me

While searching the internet for information on how to fix this, I found out that it was either blocked or spammed or something like that. Because of this, I realized that I could lose my account at any moment, so just in case, I created a new account to publish or re-upload my arts

But overall I'm fine, thank you very much❤️

Click...Clack...Click...Clack…

"I'm telling ya' I better just get used to black and white for the rest of my life. No pretty rainbows for me!" My best friend Audrey rants. I have to admit, I feel kind of bad for her. I remember back when we were young, we used to sit under the big willow tree on her Uncle's property and fantasize about what it would look like when we meet them. Our soulmates, the love of our lives, and the ones to bring color to our eyes. We used to ask our mothers what everything looked like, how they could describe the colors we couldn't yet see. We were eager to ask what red, blue, and green look like constantly since we heard of them more often than others. We would ask what an adult's favorite color is when we met them and theorized about what ours might be. I always thought mine would be red but, turns out green is a lot more my style. Audrey is still convinced her favorite will be purple, though I have a feeling she will like reds and oranges a lot more. I met my soulmate a year and a half ago. I was in the local library looking for a book to read for the weekend. I had just pulled out a rather thick book to look at and someone had pulled out a similar book on the other side. I looked through and saw an attractive male on the other side with dark hair and wearing a plaid shirt. He was about to put his book back when he noticed my ogling. Then we made eye contact and my heart stopped as it filled with such strong emotion, an emotion I had never felt before. A warm heat rushed to my eyes causing them to water and close. From the noises I heard on the other side of the shelf I could assume that the same thing was happening to him. When the rush of emotion and feeling of heat and pressure left my eyes I opened them to what looked like a whole new world. I gasped at what beauty I saw. Colors. People in the library clapped and cheered for us and our newfound colored sight as I went to my newfound soulmate and hugged him tighter than I had ever hugged anyone in my entire life. Only a month after that and we were married. I felt like he filled the hole in my heart I never knew I had. I hope that one day Audrey will find her soulmate and understand the feeling.   "Here's your drink madam." Audrey giggles as she hands me my coffee and sits across from me. Her light brown hair blows in the wind as I take a sip of the hot drink. "That guy over there is cute. Could he be the one?" "I doubt it. You would feel like you're being pulled to him." I inform her. Just because she thinks he's hot doesn't mean that he's the one. He is a looker though. I giggle at my thought. Mines cuter though. "I feel like his abs are pulling me in. Does that count?" We laugh. We sit there for a while chatting about work, our lives, and spilling some tea about people we know. After a while she asks, "So does he know yet? Or is it still a secret?" I just shake my head ‘no' as I put my hand gently on my stomach. "I was going to tell him tonight." She nods in excitement, "I'm surprised I kept it a secret for as long as I did." It's hard to keep secrets from him. After a while, we are walking home with our energy filled bodies. Audrey managed to talk for a majority of the time. Which is nice since I haven't gotten to hear her voice in person other than today for about two years. I wish she lived closer. Then it all goes black. I scream as I put my hands over my burning eyes. Sharp pain stabs at my skull as I try to call for help. I hear faint people yelling for help. The pain in my eyes goes dull and I am left sobbing on the sidewalk with Audrey while someone goes to get help. I hear an ambulance speed past as Audrey helps me up. I open my eyes to… black and white 

~Written by Nessa

fuck

Fuck

FUck

FUCk

FUCK

FUUCCKK

WARNING THIS IS DARK AND TRIGGERING!!!

Silence...Quiet...Darkness…Fire.

I awake to the sound of dripping liquid on the ground beneath me. Darkness surrounds me as I shakingly stand up. Looking around becomes useless as I realize that I'm not somewhere, I'm nowhere. No walls or roof in sight, just empty space. As I look down to my bare feet I can see my reflection staring back at me from the glossy ground, the only difference is that the face staring back at me has a sinister smirk of which I can't even fathom of being able to replicate.

“Where am I?” I call to no one in particular. “Hello?”

The emptiness which I am consumed seems so familiar yet completely new. Walking around seems to do nothing for me but wear out my energy and allow me to get lost amongst the nothingness that this world is composed of. When the dripping gets closer and my feet seem to lead themselves is when I feel the space getting more familiar. It's not until the screaming starts that I realize where I am. I remember this feeling in my gut, I remember the feeling of my feet stopping without my consent, and I remember the feeling of being unable to move no matter how much force I try to use. I’m in another nightmare.

I scream trying to run but something holds me in place. I try to kick, punch, scream or make any movements but this invisible force holds me still. I can't even close my eyes to look away.“You did this! It's all your fault! You did nothing and now she's going to suffer!” a voice booms at me. The voice is one I recognize too clearly. My own. My voice, twisted and scratchy, mimicking that of an evil witch you could find in a movie begins yelling at me again. She tells me how everything is my fault and how those who love me will suffer for it. Suddenly it becomes quiet… then I hear her.

“Help me! Get me out of here! Please, somebody, help me!” I recognize that voice clear as day. Slowly the floor in front of me begins to ripple as panic sets into me. Never in any of my sick nightmares has it been her in here with me. Rope starts flowing up from the ground pulling something with it. Her body.

The rope flows higher and higher into the abyss above me until I can no longer see the end of it. In front of me, I see my friend unconscious suspended from these ropes like a puppet on strings. Though she is unconscious and her mouth is shut, I still hear her screaming for help, begging me to help her. Her usual calm voice becomes something more like a dying animal as whatever is holding us here begins. Deep cuts, made by invisible knives start to show up on her pale skin. Other injuries such as rope burn, bruises, and wounds I could never begin to describe rise slowly into view. She screams louder and louder as more deep and fatal injuries take hold, though her mouth is still shut and her body still hanging in the same way as before.

I try so hard, so hard to run, struggle, or even close my eyes to stop the horror around me.

But

 Its

No

 Use.

By the time its over, I'm a sobbing mess, standing in the same position. Then suddenly she falls.

The ropes disappear as her limp self falls to the ground, now wet with crimson. The force holding me in place release me as I fall to my knees, grief taking me over.  I crawl to her body, sobbing as I hold her near me. Eyeless sockets stare back at me. I begin to feel the blood seep through my clothes, but I couldn't care less. I feel the same overwhelming loneliness as the days before I met her. Through my sobs, I don't realize my vision beginning to fade.

Then I wake up.           

~Written by Nessa

Five words. Five words I have both never heard before, and never want to hear again.

“I got in a wreck”

   Just four minutes ago we were planning what we were going to do when she got to my house. Neither of us thought about any issues getting there. Four minutes is all it took.

In four minutes she was out the door.

In four minutes she was in her car.

In four minutes I was going to get the worst scare I’ve ever experienced.

I didn't care that when I got there the police were trying to talk to her. For once I didn't care who saw me cry. The love of my life could have been taken from me and I didn't want to let go. There were only three words I could say, only three words that made any sense to us.

“I love you”

Once I knew she was okay, once I held her in my arms it felt like only the two of us despite the crowds of people, traffic, and what's left of the three cars that could have ended my Love’s life.

I never want to hear those five words ever again.  

~Written by Nessa.