#nerve au

your hands are gripping onto the ladder, the burning sensation on your palms is almost unbearable, your legs are dangling from the 300 foot drop below you. the only thing stabilizing the ladder you’re hung from are the grips of watchers from across from one another. some filming, some solely focused on trying to keep you stable, but the only thing your focused on are the eyes that are across from you, chris’ blue eyes slightly squinted as he scrunched his freckled nose, his biceps straining from the grip he had on the ladder.

“it’s gonna be okay..jus’ two more minutes, stoner” chris breathed out as his eyes wandered to the people that were holding the ladder, gawking, recording. it was like they were praying for something bad to happen, a hand to slip, a rattle of the ladder, a gust of wind to loosen the grip. it was..terrifying, almost unhuman, the way their heads peered out of the window.

tears pricked in your eyes are your arms tingled, a strangled groaned left your throat, “fuckin’ hurts” you muttered as your legs started to swing, “stop that shit” chris said sternly, “stop moving your fuckin’ legs”

DARE COMPLETED

15K HAS NOW BEEN ENTERED INTO EACH OF YOUR NERVE ACCOUNTS.

you and chris were now walking along the sidewalks of boston towards his apartment, his arms clutched against his hoodie to somehow shield himself from the cold air that nipped at his flesh. “fuck are you bein’ so quiet for?” chris mumbled, your jaw tightens as you shake your head, “i mean..how could we be so stupid?” you say, a dry chuckle leaving your lips. chris furrows his eyebrows, “are you trying to insult me or something because-“ you roll your eyes, “chris! don’t you get it? this fucking game, nerve, it’s stupid! it’s trying to fucking kill us!” you snap, chris scoffs, “oh don’t tell me you’re regretting all this, ma. look— i get it, you got a lil spooked back there and you’re still wound up but that doesn’t mean you have to start talking all crazy, i mean seriously, we are basically rich, mama.”

you stop in your tracks, making chris stop as well, he looks at you, “that’s exactly it-“ you started, you step a bit closer to him, “yeah, we may be rich, biker. but at what cost? i mean, we can’t spend the money! it’s all stuck in this little nerve account! i mean- did they even ask for our bank information? are they gonna sign us this big huge check when nerve is done and over with? or maybe, just fucking maybe have you thought that this whole game, these dares, these live streams, these nerve accounts their just..not real” you laugh a bit, the whole conversation sounds ridiculous, yet, you can’t help but think of the unknown. chris laughs too, but not in the same way you are, he’s laughing in almost disbelief, like what you’re saying his some humorous joke, “you really think that, ma? you really think nerve is just some fucked up thing to get us killed?”

you let out a shaky breath, your mind is racing, your heart is still thumping in your chest and the adrenaline rush from hanging from that 300 foot building hasn’t calmed down. “chris, we almost died” you spoke simply, looking into his eyes, trying to knock some sort of sense into him. “i mean like, actually almost died, i haven’t felt like this— this scared since i tried fuckin’ acid for the first time” you laugh a bit at the memory but in reality it’s some dark, twisted coping mechanism to keep you from completely crashing out.

“so what are you saying?” chris questioned as he tilted his head to the side a bit, “ ‘m sayin’ i don’t wanna do this shit anymore, it’s not fuckin’ fun” your shoulder bumps into his as you try and walk off but his hand is quick to stop you, pulling you back in front of him, that same hand grabbing your jaw and tilting your head up so your eyes meet his. “yeah? so that’s it huh? you’re jus’ gonna give up? after everything you’ve been through, after everything we’ve been through?” chris’ tongue tucks into his cheek, “listen sweetheart, i’m not gonna sit here and beg you to keep doin’ this shit. but that’s probably what you want right? you want me to pull this sappy, heartfelt love story outta my ass and beg you to continue to play this game with me but i’m not,” his grip on your jaw tightens, “you know why, stoner? because i really don’t give a fuck what you do. because i’m gonna keep doing this shit with or without you.“

your face was now pushed into chris’ pillow, his thrust more deliberate and urgent than anything, his hand cradles your head to keep it down, his other arm wrapped around your waist, fingers circling your sensitive ball of nerves. you moan out in pleasure, “that’s it, ma—“ chris moans back, “take it, take it” he muttered through thrusts.

his body shifts, his chest now pressed against your back, lips against your ear, “say it, y/n.” chris whispers.

you already know what he’s talking about, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your word, to hold strong. but the way his cock is burrowing in your cunt, his whispered voice, the way his hand is gripping your hair, “come on, mama..you know i didn’t mean it. you know i can’t do this shit without you.” chris manipulates. his words were like honey, if honey was laced with venom. “so say it. say you’re gonna keep playin’ with me, sweetheart.”

your eyebrows knit together as you feel the knot grow in your tummy. “y-yeah-“ you managed to breathe out, “i-i’ll keep playing..i’ll keep playing” you pant.

“that’s what i thought,” chris growled in your ear as he leans back up and continues to take you from the back, “such a good girl. the best girl, my best girl.”

divider creds: @bernardsbendystraws

haven’t done a nerve chapter in SO long.. hope this feeds yall 🤍

‘Why are we doing this again?’ Kenta shifted his shoulders as Yuna took individual pictures with Jia and her team. ‘I mean it’s outdated to have every individual follow a line to have their picture taken with the bride and groom.’ 

You sighed. ‘Well… only relevant people are present. And Yuna wanted it this way.’

Kenta’s lip curled. If you didn’t know any better, you would think he was annoyed. But as always his approach with Yuna was to contemplate, then give in anyway. 

‘Ken, time for a couples pic with the team.’ Yoongi motioned without looking away from the camera.

You watched as he took his place next to Yuna and her team, sporting a somewhat awkward smile. You internally laughed at his predicament – all the poor man wanted to do was get out of that suit.

‘I’m gonna head out.’  

‘Jeez, Ria.’ You clutched your heart involuntarily, at the sound of her voice so close to your ear. ‘Don’t sneak up on me like that.’

You recovered easily when she didn’t even acknowledge your whining. ‘You have everything required for the set up? Roses? Candles?’

‘Yep,’ she popped the ‘p’ as she pulled up a list used to help set up Yuna and Kenta’s room. ‘Jia is driving me and Ji-hyun will help out.’ She looked up at you and offered a tired smile. She’d been a big part of the wedding hype. 

You were about to express your gratitude when she straightened her spine, and her eyes giving off a warning glint. ‘Incoming,’ she whispered.

You didn’t need to look behind you to know who she was referring to. The prickling awareness at your nape, the swirling in your head, the tightness in your chest – you puffed out a shaky breath as Kwang brushed past you, and you tried to refocus on Ria. 

‘Thanks, Ri.’ You reached out for her, a selfish part of you needing the little comfort it would offer. ‘For helping with the wedding prep and the phone calls and the invites and still preparing for next year's start.’

She squeezed your hand before returning to the list on her phone screen. ‘This is Yuna we’re talking about, of course I was happy to help.’ You watched in silence as she meticulously struck off each item. Ria was conscientious, detail-oriented, and sometimes so closed off that her walls pissed you off, but it was soothing sometimes, to just watch her do her job. It reminded you a bit of Jin – sturdy and secure. She turned to look out at the waning reception when she was done. ‘We did pretty good, if I do say so myself.’ 

You hummed at the observation as some guests bid the newlyweds farewell after their pictures, and some were on the dance-floor. 

Your eyes swept the room, mentally counting all your family members and taking note of where they were when something caught your attention. 

Jinx and her mother Hee-Joo were at the bar, instinctively your eyes sought out Sylo and you watched in awe as Hee-Joo raised her glass, in what could only be labeled as a random gesture, if Sylo hadn’t tipped his toward his secret wife, not even glancing in her direction as he did so – from all the way on the other side of the hall. 

As far as anyone was concerned, Hee-Joo was Jinx’s mother, not Sylo’s wife. And for good reason since Sylo worked in a cutthroat business. 

But it did your heart good to see that they could make their lives work, albeit unconventional and hidden from prying eyes. 

‘Let me stand on this side.’ 

You heard rustling behind you and you unconsciously inched closer to Ria, not wanting to brush against Kwang even by accident when he moved around Yuna.

‘Are you gonna be okay?’ Ria leaned forward to whisper against your cheek. 

Something in you softened at the concern in her usually stoic gaze. 

You thought of lying to her, it wasn't personal and it would have been no effort of yours to put her mind at ease, but you were both past that point of friendship. 

Ria was there that day. She was the first person that saw you when you stormed out of your father’s office. Ria took one look at your distraught expression and hid you away from busybodies and known office gossips. It was Ria who listened to your incoherent string of words, combined with snot and saliva as you sobbed and felt sorry for yourself.  She sat with you in the storage closet on the topmost floor and watched you cry it all out.

It was Ria who helped you stay on top of your job, eat when you couldn’t be bothered to, reminded you that you were not alone when you couldn't confide in Yuna. She became your friend even when you didn’t have the capacity to return her friendship and she was your biggest ally next to your mom in outing the partners.

Ria could be civil, with both your father and Kwang, and she may seem so impassive and indifferent to anyone outside her close circle, but she had the biggest heart –  you had experienced it firsthand.

‘I wish he wasn’t here.’ The strangled confession did more harm than intended as a layer of your strength disintegrated in front of her. ‘I wish I didn’t have to feel so … dirty.’

‘Hey,’ Ria reprimanded you by pinching your arm.

‘Ow!’ You rubbed at the spot absently and shot her a warning glare. 

‘You were not at fault. You did nothing wrong, y/n.’ She dropped her voice, and the frost in it rivaled the winter snow outside. ‘You are the victim here. The one who had no support, no justice and no vindication. He knew what he was doing from the get-go. Don’t you dare carry the blame for something like that. The burden is his… not yours.’

You blinked at Ria’s impassioned rambling. Mild as it was, she was never one to discuss such things in public, let alone say all of that in one go. You were almost overcome with emotion at the protective gesture, but you had to hold it together. It was a different issue altogether, that you wanted to imagine Yoongi’s body stiffening visibly at Ria's words. 

The second-oldest had always been more perceptive than most, and he’d been hovering as much as the rest of the hyung line, even if he wasn’t sure what for. Well, what’s one more person? Add the soulmates and your maknae and let’s make it a party.

You internally cringed at the thought of Jungkook knowing. Taehyung knowing didn’t sit well with you either–he was too close to Yuna. It would be something to be angry about or better yet something he will have no choice but to keep from her. And Jimin... Park Jimin was emotionally safe. He radiated strength and respect and light, so much love and light… it wouldn’t be fair for him to know, it wouldn’t be fair for him to carry such a burden. As for the hyung line, you had to admit, they were a personal form of stability you relied on for support. You couldn’t help that Kenta and Ria were in the know. But Yuna? Yuna could never know…

‘He’s despicable.’ Ria shot him a hard look as she continued. ‘But you got this, y/n. The night’s almost over anyway.’ She frowned slightly. ‘You’d think he’d have enough shame to remain hidden away in whatever crevice he’s been in, all this time.’

It would have certainly made the night easy for you.

‘Fuck him,’ you dismissed him, doing your best to keep your voice down.

‘Yeahhh, no thank you.’ Ria snorted loud enough to have a few heads turning, but she ignored them. ‘Seriously though,’ she patted your hand, ‘just a few more hours.’

You hummed noncommittally. ‘Send me a pic when you’re done with the set up.’ You bit back your smile as you reminded her of her last task.

She met your eyes, gave you a blank stare and whispered the word. ‘Fuck.’ Her resigned expression afterward was too much for you to hold back your laugh.

‘Go on,’ you pushed her in the direction of the entrance. ‘Jia and JiJi should still be in the car waiting to use expletives on you.’

You blew out a puff of air as you took out your phone to absently scroll or act like you had something important to do. The tightness was back as soon as you lost sight of Ria.

It wasn’t about being alone, or standing aimlessly next to Yoongi, who you hadn’t confided in yet, that added onto the feeling of dread. In fact the only reason you weren’t a complete mess, was because you had had someone around you to keep it together – Yoongi helped in that department without actually using words.

But the pain in your back and the heaviness and your shoulders and the cloying in your throat was because of too much at one time. 

You could usually keep appearances –  you excelled at it. But the past few weeks were so draining. The tug-of-war with Namjoon took… well… almost everything from you. Your eyes sought out your husband, who looked to be in a serious conversation with your mother. She had her arms crossed and he bent his head in acquiescence, obviously accepting her reprove without protest.

Ra-Mi was not close to you or Namjoon. But she was polite. She was your mother and she acted as such these days. Your mother understood something your father hadn’t – it was too late to make amends for what was. In your mind, she may not be perfect, but she made it known she would be there for you, even now, in any way you preferred.

Now, according to Kenta, who you trusted more than your own self, your husband’s alleged affair seemed to lead a path to something deeper, darker, involving someone like Maiya who you had never known and whoever was the mastermind behind it all.

Let’s not forget that your safety blanket, your bodyguard, your head of security was leaving you for God knows how long. Yuna, who was some sort of extension of your whole existence, would not be easily accessible. Yes, marriage, though a legally binding process, was workable, as you had explained to Kenta, but it still changes things. 

But when you fall in love with someone you deem as ‘the one,’ you are giving a part of yourself to them, choosing them through all the good and the bad, and to put them first. And like it or not, that trumps all of the smaller parts you’d previously shared with others. You and Yuna would always be important to each other. But now, Yuna had Kenta. From this point forth, her relationship with him would take precedence over yours. It was bittersweet, but you had the solace of knowing she would never ever be alone.

You already had Namjoon. But back when you got married, Yuna and Kenta weren’t even a couple yet. If all of what you were feeling was a fraction of how she felt when you promised yourself to Namjoon, you couldn’t imagine how she’d handled coming second to him. The thought of her letting go of that part of you that she held so dear for a long time–and now you had to do the same. A selfish part of you wouldn’t want to share at all. Fuck men, who needs ‘em. 

You snorted at your childish thoughts. 

‘You good, y/n?’ Yoongi glanced at you wide-eyed and concerned.

His expression sent you into a fit of giggles and for a minute you considered you might actually be going insane from all the shit you had to deal with.

When you finally quieted down and breathed deeply to salvage a bit of calm, you reassured him that you were fine and just needed to get a drink. Yoongi wouldn’t push you to talk, not ever and he wouldn’t feel any offense at the lack of information either.

You took one step towards the bar, before you had to turn back to the sound of Yuna’s voice.

‘Y/n! Get in here!’ She motioned with her hand for you to join the photo, the happiness spilling out of her. 

You would, but you battled to keep the smile on your face as your heart rate picked-up and your legs threatened to stay frozen to the ground as you watched Kwang hold his hand out to pull you to stand next to him.

You didn’t know how to say ‘no’. The protests bubbled up and every fiber of your body screamed in revulsion but you couldn’t speak. You just stood there.

‘Sorry, Yuna.’ A new voice said from behind you, as you felt a tap on the side of your shoulder. ‘Y/n promised me a dance.’

The controversy surrounding Huru was enough for you to decline. It would upset almost every single band member, not to mention your husband. But at this moment, right now, he was saving you by being the lesser of two evils.

You shrugged and made a ‘what are ya gonna do’ face before taking Huru’s hand. Mentally batting away the disapproval in Yoongi’s menacing gaze, you called over your shoulder as you escaped. ‘We’ll do our pictures last.’ 

You noted that Huru’s hand was cold. Not nervous or clammy, not showing a hint of nervousness. If he really had a crush on you, he would have the opposite reaction right?

‘Lighten up, y/n,’  Huru whispered in your ear, as he led you through a makeshift version of the waltz. ‘It’s just one dance.’

‘I haven’t said anything yet.’ You rebuffed his comment, not wanting to admit that you were just using him to get away.

He did his version of a smile, something so small, barely a hint on his lips, that it wouldn’t be caught unless you really paid attention. 

‘Your body language tells me all I need to know.’ He led your body into a twirl, and loosened his hold on your arms after stabilizing you. ‘I just wanted to give you a quick save. You can leave when you want to.’

You looked up at him, his blank expression betraying nothing. Because you were nice, because you didn’t want to hurt him and because you didn’t want to seem unreasonable, you slid your hands around his neck. As a result he tucked you closer.

‘I take it,’ he started after a few seconds of silence,’ that you’re not very happy with me.’

Oh so he was going there. ‘That depends… are you going to confirm the rumors I’ve been hearing?’

‘That would depend on what you’ve heard… and from whom.’ 

His acerbic tone didn’t sit well with you. ‘Okay, cut it out.’ You said in the most polite tone you could muster. ‘Talking in riddles, reading between the lines, putting up a front…‘ you shook your head, ‘we don’t do that. So tell me what’s going on. Do you actually have a crush on me?’

It was hard to keep eye contact when you felt this much discomfort. And not in the sense that he could do something bad to you, more so the fact that if you said the wrong words or did the wrong thing, you didn’t want to be in a position where you would have led him on. Unintentionally or not.

‘Full disclosure?’ He looked down at you, his pace slow and his eyes hard, as if warning you that there was no going back after you made your choice.

You waited, as you both stared each other down in a way that would have your husband fuming, if he wasn’t already.

Huru sighed, finally giving in first. ‘Who wouldn’t be attracted to you, y/n?’

You swallowed against the distaste of his admission. ‘That’s not flattering.’ 

Huru’s eye twitched at your choice of words. ‘How is it not?’

‘It’s perturbing.’ You glared at him, willing yourself not to step out of his arms. Once you did, the matter would drag, escalate and just make it fucking awkward when he had to be with you almost all hours of the day until Yoshi was back.

‘What’s the big deal, y/n?’ He openly scowls. ‘You’re smart, beautiful. You have an infectious energy that introduces itself before you do. And to the people that truly know you, the y/n without her so called mask of ice…’ his brows pinched together as if he battled with the new development himself, ‘you’re quite… captivating.’

Beautiful and smart were common words. You could call a flower beautiful. You could call a monkey smart. It was words like ‘infectious energy’, and ‘captivating’ that caught your attention and penetrated your defenses. But you wouldn’t budge for measly words either. If he said it as a friend, as an acquaintance or even as an honest compliment with good intentions, it would have made all the difference. Because now, they felt wrong, such grand words made you want to cover your ears. ‘You’re making me uncomfortable.’ You admitted through clenched teeth.

‘You wanted me to be honest.’ He stares at you with a pinched expression. It was the first very real, very annoyed reaction that irked you. For once you wouldn’t mind if he kept his robot face on.

‘Yes, I know. Thank you.’ You rush out. ‘For your honesty.’ You dropped your gaze. ‘But now, the only way forward is to create a bit of distance so you can… work on those…’ you felt your brows furrow, the anxiety in the pit of your stomach bordering on overdrive, ‘feelings.’

His fingers clenched slightly on your arms. The hold wasn’t a painful one, so you let it slide. ‘What are you trying to say?’

You raised your head again to make eye contact. ‘Maybe it’s not such a good idea for you to take over Kenta’s position.’

‘I can handle myself.’ There was a hard finality in his tone. 

‘This isn’t high school, Huru. We don’t need to be friends and we don’t need to know each other.’ Definitely not at the expense of your family, not to mention your husband.

‘I haven’t asked you for anything.’ He looked at you incredulously. ‘I haven’t done anything to warrant your decision. And you do not have to trust me when I say I do not go after married women, but regardless of my line of work, I actually have some morals.’

‘I don’t want to lead you on.’ You gave him a pointed look, because such a thing was inevitable. ‘I don’t want to have to feel too conscious of myself around you, what I say, what I do…’ you huffed in exasperation. ‘You see the way I am around Kenta, Yoshi, even Zwahn, Yeon, Xan… we hug when we greet, and they have to hold onto me in crowds, steer me away, grab me when the situation requires it. Do you see why this will be hard for you?’ Do you understand how uncomfortable it would be for me?

He frowns and his tone is clipped when he finally lets loose on whatever he’d been holding back. ‘So Hoseok can get the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t?’

You had the sudden urge to slap him. Hobi was yours. No one, not even Namjoon, questioned your dynamic with Hobi. He cleared the air, sure, but he was never disrespectful enough to compare. ‘Do not compare yourself to anyone in my family.’ You stepped out of his grasp. ‘We’re done here.’

‘Wait, y/n. I was out of line.’ He held onto your elbow, just as you turned to walk away. ‘I apologize.’ He drops his head and his shoulders sag. ‘The last thing I want to do is upset you. I’m sorry.’ He searched your face. ‘But the issue remains that you need a head of security. Immediately.’

From the corner of your eye you could see both Namjoon and Jin converge. You held up your hand to both of them to imply you had it handled, but they didn’t stop their approach.

‘Mind if I cut in.’ Jungkook appeared out of nowhere and took the hand that Huru had in his grasp.

Jungkook easily got his way when he motioned to his hyungs with his eyes, effectively stopping them in their tracks and giving Huru the heads up.

Huru bowed out meekly to avoid an altercation when he glanced at them and back, but not before a few last words. ‘I will be here, y/n. Until Yoshi gets better. My contract is already in place. As for me, my feelings, though real, are mine to deal with. Don’t base my work ethic on my personal feelings. I certainly won’t let them get in the way.’ He offered a gracious nod to Jungkook and left the dance-floor without another word.

On another day, in another setting, more than a few words from Huru would be refreshing – you’d even take it in stride. But he was embarrassed and you felt bad that he was feeling embarrassed and the whole conversation paved a way to something unwelcome and unnecessary. It was a new set of balls to juggle and you were the clown stuck with the task. 

You went easily into Jungkook’s embrace. He tugged lightly at your hand, tucking you closer in an attempt to comfort you.  

‘Are they mad?’ You whispered into his shoulder, referring to Namjoon and Jin considering he had a clear view of the two. 

‘Absolutely pissed.’ You sighed and you felt his jawline against your forehead. ‘Figured I’d rather save you, before they got here.’

‘Thank you.’ 

‘Anytime.’ 

‘So… who’s got your camera?’ You attempted to fill the silence. 

‘Tae hyung. Although I have a feeling I might find more pictures of him within the time-frame that he has it.’

You chuckled lightly. That was true. Taehyung knew all too well how handsome he was. 

‘Are you okay? That seemed to be a pretty intense discussion.’ 

‘I am now.’ You closed your eyes and swayed to the slow music, and actually felt how much easier it was to breath when you were held by someone that knew their limitations and had no expectations and just fucking cared just because.  

You opened your eyes when a reiteration of the last few minutes reeled through your mind. ‘Kook,’ You pulled back and pinched your eyebrows together. ‘Why did you signal him about your hyungs coming over?’ 

His lip curled in a half-smile. ‘Executing the plan, Noona.’ 

‘Exactly, what… plan is that?’

Jungkook bent his head to whisper in your ear. ‘The one where we find out exactly what Huru wants from you.’

You gave him a look of utter confusion. 'What are you talking about?' 

'Think about it,' Jungkook matched the music and you followed his lead as he explained. 'He's known Ken for a long time now, and Yuna by association. And only now, you're coming face to face with him, when you've also been a better part of their lives.' He shrugged. 'It's just a bit weird that he'd put in the effort that he is. According to Kenta and Yeon he's a loner, always has been. He does a job and moves out when it's complete. But now he's here, he's actually staying in Seoul indefinitely. Then he wants to be closer to Kenta, tries to be nice to us but that backfired and now he wants in on whatever gig you have going on.' Jungkook bit at his piercing absently. 'I'm just saying, if you're such a recluse, and you want nothing to do with the drama of the world, why would you want any association with a high-profile idol’s wife, and by default, a band that's in the literal center of media attention.'

You followed his words and you couldn't deny that Jungkook was making sense. 'But this is all speculation.' Your halfhearted attempt to nip the situation in the bud went nowhere. 

'Exactly.' Jungkook nodded. 'It's speculation. And that's fair, if he wants to change his lifestyle, have a change of scenery, and all of those wonderfully human-like things, by all means it's possible. If that's the case, there's obviously nothing to worry about. But… ' His hold on your palm tightened a little to make you look up at him. 'If we're wrong about this, we'd rather be one step ahead of him.'

You arched an eyebrow. 'And you've taken it on yourself to do this.'

He shot you a cocky smirk. 'I'm the youngest, the most flexible one, I can look up at him like he lights up the sky with fireworks and he'd be none the wiser.'

‘So that was for show?’ You referred to when he got Huru to back off before his hyungs got involved. 

‘Uh huh.’ He agreed, his pride resonating through in the simple sound. ‘He needs to have an ally. I play nice. I make friends with him. And I help figure out his angle.’ He iterated his plan in a few short words, slapping on the end for good measure. ‘Kenta and I have an agreement.’ 

A sense of foreboding prickled at your neck. Sure, you and Huru played nice and you took pride in chiseling out his stoney features, until he started making it more… but you weren't naive. 

The PI was capable of who knows what, probably ruthless and unforgiving… you frowned at the idea of Jungkook playing games. 

‘That’s not comforting in the least. Kook-ah…’ you started and had to pause to find the right words. ‘The things they do, Kenta and the team… Huru for that matter… what they’ve seen…' You purse your lips, trying not to put a dent in Jungkook's confidence in his abilities, but still wanting to protect him. 'It’s dangerous to play games with someone like Huru. I mean, God knows what he’s done for Kenta of all people to be weary of him. We can’t risk you getting hurt.’ You especially couldn’t risk him getting hurt.

‘Relax. I won’t do anything reckless, I promise.’

Okay, Plan B. ‘Do your hyungs know about this?’

‘No,’ he remained surprisingly calm, ’and you can’t tell them either.’

You raised a brow at his tone, before he clarified further. ‘They need to believe it’s real. Huru is perceptive. And I think if they have genuine reactions, it would give him the right idea.’

Smart. ‘Your hyungs are going to have an aneurysm.’ The joke tumbled from your mouth before you could stop it. Too late you realized a joke would make what he was doing some version of ‘okay’ when it really wasn’t. ‘Don’t go through with it, Kook. It’s going to cause a rift between your hyungs and yourself.’

‘I’m doing it for our family. I’m just making friends with him, Noona. You matter. And Namjoon hyung matters.’ He clicks his tongue before a strangled sentence passes between his lips. ‘We cannot go through this shit again. Especially not because of another man.’

You wince at his words. Relax y/n,  he didn’t mean it like that. He was not questioning your loyalty or your morals. You understood what he was trying to say, but it still stung.  

His features softened. 'I don't mean it like that, Noona. I trust you. I do. But I need to do this.’ His eyes plead with you, and he adds to it with his next words. ‘I'm only going to get close to him. Texting. Maybe meet-ups at the gym. Asking for advice. Nothing over the top. Nothing unnecessary.' He blew out a puff of air. 'Please let me do this.’

It was a no-brainer. Your head didn’t even consider arguing with your heart. You were a sucker. The man in front of you could commit murder and you’d find a way to make it go away. 

‘Jungkook I swear,’ you pointed a finger at him, ‘if I find you scaling buildings or sneaking out or even remotely putting your freaking pinky finger in danger, I’ll –’ you stopped mid breath. What could you possibly threaten him with? ‘I’ll shave your head bald!’

Jungkook pursed his lips together to keep from laughing. 

‘I am so serious!’

He broke out into a bunny smile, his laugh following suit. ‘Okay. No recklessness. No unnecessary risks. And yes, whatever information I find, I’ll pass along to you as well.’  

You raise your pinky, wishing your resolve didn’t crumble, and hoping to all hell you weren’t making a mistake.

He folds his pinky around yours, his jaw set and his face a mask of seriousness. ‘I promise.’

You willed him to keep his promise. You needed him to keep his promise. Because if something, God forbid, happened to Jungkook, it wouldn’t be about Namjoon or the band being angry, it wouldn’t be about the betrayal of you knowing and giving the go ahead, it wouldn’t be about ever forgiving you for it either – it would be your guilt that would eat you alive, if Jungkook ever got hurt and you could have done something about it.

—-------

When you ended your dance with Jungkook, you were passed over to a very pissed off Seokjin, who, after a long and arduous lecture, handed you over to the open arms of your husband.

You didn’t like being scolded, even if you deserved it. But you hated making Namjoon upset all the more.

He hadn’t spoken a word to you yet and you were on the second song. His arms encased your body until your breasts were flush against him and you wrapped your hands around his neck, your fingers clutching to the hair on his nape.

‘Don’t be mad,’ you said so softly. His frustration was a stark thing that crackled between you and you had to wonder if he even heard you speak. 

It was anxiety inducing. Not in the sense that he would ever leave you over something so trivial, but to destabilize the bond you both had solidified not less than an hour ago, it made you feel like shit.

And it’s not like you meant to go off with Huru or have an intense argument or even push anyone's boundaries for the hell of it. It was either Kwang or Huru and at least Huru didn’t make you want to hide. That childish feeling to hide behind someone, make yourself look small and unseen, all but disappear from the one person you didn’t want to be reminded that you existed. All so as not to cause a ripple in the still waters you worked so hard to keep from high tide.

You hid your face in his shoulder. ‘Please don’t be mad at me.’

'You did exactly the opposite of what I told you to do!' You jumped slightly as Namjoon pulled back and glowered at you. He kept his voice down but it was no less forceful. 

'I didn't want to go stand next to Kwang for pictures.' You scrunch your face, wishing more than anything that Kwang would leave. 'He offered an opening and I took it.' You gnashed your teeth, as you felt a flicker of irritation from being startled. You consciously had to work to be calm and not snap at him. 'It was just a dance, Namjoon. And I had a chance to clarify a few things.'

'He touched you. He had no right to touch you or force you into any situation.' The bite in his tone was really starting to piss you off. 

'Kenta has also held me back to talk, so has Yeon, so has any of the guys, it wasn't hurtful, he wasn't trying to hurt me or force me.'

'I trust Kenta. I trust Yeon, Xan, Zwahn, my brothers, even Ji-ho I trust to some extent, but I do not fucking trust him! Just fucking get rid of him.'

You blinked up at him. 

‘Or do you want me to do it for you?’ 

You felt the stab of his anger, as your own threatened to lash out, but you bit the inside of your cheek. ‘Don’t talk to me like that.’ You said softly. ‘And don’t threaten me.’ You stuck your nose in the air. ‘The day you get to fire any individual working for me is the day I start making decisions for your music career.’

Namjoon glared at you, the implication of your choice of words resonating loud and clear. But you wouldn’t back down.

You let out a low sigh of relief when his tense shoulders relaxed slightly and he finally realized how illogical he was being. ‘I don’t like feeling like this, y/n.’ Namjoon's voice was taut as he leaned in to speak into your hair. ‘I know. I know you’re defiant and stubborn, but… you wouldn’t choose to hurt me.’ He pulled back so you looked up at him and touched his forehead to yours. ‘I just hate that he wants you. And don’t tell me he doesn’t want you.’ You could hear him mutter under his breath. ‘I fucking hate the idea of anyone falling for you the way I have. And I don't want him fucking touching you.'

You tightened your hold on him. ‘Namjoon… ’ you started, grasping blindly for words that could make this better. The very idea that he could lose you would be a living nightmare for the rest of his life if he didn’t get a handle on it.

‘What did the fucker even have to say?’ He spoke before you could even try to comfort him, effectively making you retreat into a shell you would usually never need to have around him.

'Baby, look at me,' you tilted your head to the side as your anger dissipated. The tumultuous emotion replaced itself with a sense of trepidation. 'He's not a threat to you, Namjoon. He never was. And he can't hurt me.' At least, after your discussion with Jungkook, you hoped he couldn't. 

Namjoon's jaw set. He saw straight through your ruse to reassure him. 'Tell me.'

You dropped your gaze. A sense of unease curled up your back, and crossed both your shoulders, for once you wished you could lie to Namjoon, just to keep the peace. But a bigger part of you knew it would haunt you, even if this was something you could handle, even if his fears were irrational. ‘He said I was captivating.’ 

Namjoon tensed up under your arms. ‘But he also said that I do need a head of security, and that he will behave.’ You sighed, the heaviness in your chest a bit too much to handle. ‘He wouldn’t let his personal feelings get in the way.’

When you looked up at Namjoon his face, he looked at you like you were stupid.

You glared back. ‘I already asked him to reconsider.’

Namjoon scoffed. ‘As if he would.’

‘No, but he’s right. And it will not be permanent. He’s being…’ you winced as you continued to defend a man you had no business defending, ‘... mature about it.’

‘Are you kidding me?’ His voice was deceptively soft, a dark glint in his eye every indication that he was everything but calm.

'His contract is already in place.'

Namjoon huffed, and the cold laugh that was very unlike him made your hair stand on end. 

‘Don't fuck with me, y/n. He’s admitted that he wants to get into your panties, in colorful words might I add, and you’re still going to employ him.’ Namjoon wasn’t attacking you. He was doing that logical, cold Namjoon thing, where his tone made you question your own choices and your own thinking and it hit too close to home with your father fresh at the back of your mind. 

‘Can you just fucking trust me?’ You hissed, not taking kindly to his crude words. ‘I’ll work on not visiting any bars, if that makes you feel any better.’ 

The words left your mouth as an outlet to a stream of pent up frustration. Despite your need to defend yourself, you regretted them instantly. You screwed your eyes shut and wished to take them back, but you couldn’t.

Blowing out a breath of air, you inhaled and exhaled twice, before you looked back up at Namjoon, who averted his eyes instantly. ‘I’m sorry.’ You licked your lip. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’

Your heart fell as he shook his head. ‘Not like I didn’t deserve it.’ You remained silent. You didn’t want him to think you would always bring it up and throw it in his face, you were not like that. You wouldn’t purposely hurt him. But the double standard was pissing you off, even if he was justified in being weary about the situation and the individual involved. Some part of you wanted to repeat the apology, reiterate that you didn’t mean it in the way it came out and beg to make it better so the renewed rift didn’t last, and another part of you wanted to hold your tongue, because what good would it do if he couldn’t see past his bout of jealousy. 

He huffed after a couple of seconds. ‘What are we doing? What am I doing?’ His face screwed up in distaste as he exclaimed. ‘Fuck!’ 

‘Hey, hey,’ you stood up on your tiptoes and cradled his face in your palms. ‘It’s okay.’ You couldn’t help comforting him – you loved him.

‘No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking to you like that.’ His voice was tight, his usually kept together facade crumbled in front of you. ‘I know you. I'd like to think I know you better than you know yourself.’ Heated whispers against your lips. ‘And yeah, I don’t trust him, and I know he’s good at his job. I know that, but I can’t stand him.' His expression hardened. 'Above all, I know you wouldn't… I know he doesn't have a chance, but I just… I don’t know,’ he motioned with his hand, grasping for the right words. ‘… I'd rather you not entertain his bullshit, and this probably isn't even the half of –,' 

‘It’s okay to be scared.’ You cut off his rant. 'While he's here those fears you feel are justified.’ You lifted yourself up to peck his jawline. ‘But you need to trust me to handle this. I will be safe and I will be vigilant and I will be cautious around him.'

Sometimes you could curse your ability to understand this beautiful man the way you did. Because your fears were on par with his, it was exactly what you were both afraid of – losing each other. To anyone. To anything. 

‘I’m yours, Namjoon.’ You let him feel the bite of your nails back at his nape. ‘Well and truly yours.’ You would repeat the words as many times as he needed you to. ‘Even if someone loves me, even if someone likes me, even if they have a crush on me, no matter who they are, they will never be Kim Namjoon.’ You caressed his bottom lip with yours. ‘I will never stop loving you, Namjoon.’ You shook your head against the ringing confession. ‘I know I will love you, with everything I have and all that I am, until there’s nothing left of me. No one changes that. No one.’

When you sit back on your heels, his eyes bore into yours. And something altogether different passed between you. Fears. Insecurities. Cheating. Obsessive fans. They didn’t hold a candle to this man, this moment, the emotions swirling between you two; a tender violence that both strangled and breathed life into the necessary longing that you needed each other, more than you would ever admit, and more than you could ever imagine.

Namjoon’s face ingrained in every thought, his name behind every word you spoke out loud, his existence in the air you breathed. He was yours. And you were his and denying it would be as futile as counting the drops of water in the Namsan river. 

He presses his lips together before he speaks again. ‘Will you ever forgive yourself?’ Your heart stops as his voice cracks on the raw sentence. ‘Can you forgive yourself for staying with a man that let you, for even one second believe, that you were not enough.’ His nostrils flared, as if the idea of it made him angry, but he couldn’t help himself or choose the alternative. ‘You have options, y/n. Asshole over there is one of them. But you stayed.' He brought your hand to his heart, and you felt the beat under your palm. 'You stayed for me.’

Your muscles lock at his words, not wanting to face the truth about yourself, but also knowing you were not coward enough to walk away from them. It was real, raw, something only Namjoon would dare ask you. 

‘You know you deserve better. You know you should have walked away.’ His jawline is more pronounced at his declaration, it makes him all the more handsome. He really was so sexy when he was mad. ‘You are strong, y/n, to give me a chance, to stay and rebuild us knowing it won’t be easy. You’re so fucking strong. ‘ His fingers hold onto you in a bruising grip, keeping you from any distraction, needing you to listen to him, also for him to be sure that he could still hold you, feel you there as he battled himself with the answer to a question he already knew. ‘And I know you say you will not have regrets… of course if you do, we can deal with it then. And so help me God, if another man tries, especially that prick. But as you choose to stay….’ His jaw ticks and he does that tongue in cheek thing you find so hot ‘… do you think… you can ever… forgive yourself?’ 

You blinked against the rush of emotion behind your eyes, willing yourself not to look away as you answered. ‘I will. Someday.’

You would not lie to him, it would be as unjust as lying to yourself.

‘But for now, I prefer to think that I was designed to love you.’ There’s a lump in your throat that doesn’t make it hard to speak, just… it was just… a lot. ‘Call me crazy, but I can’t get enough. I can’t stay mad.’ Your voice drops to a whisper. ‘I can’t give you up.’

A tear slides down your cheek, showing him exactly how deep it went. ‘Don’t do it again.’ The plea comes from a part of you, you wished to never see the light of day. But he opened the dam, so he would just have to deal with it.

How this conversation had taken a turn or how your anger and irritation turned into you being pliant and honest and open, you didn’t know –  but here you were, handing Namjoon your heart without reservation. ‘This second chance,’ you let him see your anger as well, ‘it’s not for the same mistake.’

He repeated the promise he’d made at least twice before. ‘Never,’ he touched his forehead to yours and you closed your eyes against the second set of tears that threatened  to spill over. ‘Never again.’

Namjoon’s arms cradled you against his chest and your hands wrapped around him instinctively. His scent, his warmth – all of it, so freaking Namjoon. ‘I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, y/n.’ His chin rests on your head and somehow you know he’s smiling, even if it's a sad one. ‘You’re still the biggest mystery of my life, y/n. A book full of words I want to read, a galaxy of stars I won’t  stop looking at. I want to find you when you are lost and figure you out and hold you. Dammit, I want to hold you and be your ground, so when you fall you know you can’t fall anymore. I’m going to do more. I’m going to be better. I promise.’

He hugged you to him. 'And I swear I will fucking punch him in the face as many times as I need to for him to get the message. I don't care what he does, who he is, which part of his body he hides his gun, I don't give a fuck, if he touches you again, if he even tries something –,'

You stood up on your tiptoes to kiss him. It was a light kiss, a little more than a peck, if anything it was a promise. 'Yours, Kim Namjoon.' You whispered against his lips and wrapped your arms around his waist. 

'Mine.' The declaration was a deep rumble from his chest. His nose danced across your cheek and you held back your smile. Your husband was a big goofball. 

As you found some sort of solace in his arms, you were hit with a stunning realization. Love wouldn't save you. Not always. When a bond was littered with everything real, two people that understood what it was, how much hurt it entailed, would have every reason to believe in love and know it wasn't everything… but still fight with everything they had.

Money wouldn't last. Pieces of paper, easily breakable, burnable, easy to use. 

Attention would fade. Even the best of people needed a break from each other, separate beds and separate lives. Looks weren't even in the running. They were an added bonus. But with time, they held nothing. 

If it were based solely on emotion… love was up and down, less and more, a rainy night now a sunny day tomorrow. Love colored a bond – it was between the two people it existed for, to uphold it. 

Yes, you felt… but it was also a choice. Namjoon was your love and your choice. 

And you chose as such, because you realized that you have to let the people that love you… love you – even if it provides an opportunity for the greatest of pains, even if parts of you were ripped away, parts that now belonged to him where you were more him than you, you had to love… even if it would devastate you beyond anything you could ever hope to recover from.

Taglist - @casnextdoor @jaysdimples @belliebelle @pinkcherrybombs @sweetjellyfishland @blushingatyou @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue @somewhereinthestarss @k-brownsugar @namsona17 @taejinxkoya @notsooperfect @zae007live @its-hopes-world @shina913 @bri-mal @piecesofapril11 @kissme-ornot @toriluvsfics @agustdmwah @lochness-butmakeitsexy @petalsofink @definetlythinkimanalien @masterpiecejoonie @gcintia @danietoww04 @roguesthetic @rjsmochii @amymikaelson @hello-kittyy @mschievous247 @onlythehobi @deliciousdetectivestranger @daddypkj @callmemadhatter @rkivecenter @codeinebelle @creolesoul2seoul @nochelunaxx @serendididy [closed]

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Part 29.5 - Retriggered

Part 30 - Finale [N]

Part 30 - Finale [E]

“Get to sixty miles per hour…” Spot read on his phone, tilting his head a bit.

Not quite believing that, Race leaned over the other boy’s shoulder. He tried not to let himself get caught up in the way Spot smelled or how strong his arms looked. He tried not to get too comfortable. After all, not many people in this insane game were willing to be helpful. Maybe Spot had done a nice thing for him, gotten him a tattoo he actually liked instead of some tacky thing that people around ask him about for the rest of his life only to find out he had no answer. No explanation.

This was just one night. This was just a stupid game. Spot was just a stranger.

“Wait, that’s it?” Race asked when he too read those words on the screen. “Just… get ta sixty on your bike?”

With a small shrug, Spot smirked at him. “Hey, I’m not complainin’,” he said, right as his phone chimed again. This time when he looked down, the smirk fell off of his face.

Race only caught a glimpse of that terrifying word before Spot put his phone down. “Wait, I’m sorry, did that just say ‘blindfolded’?” he asked, shaking his head and scoffing. “I’m sorry, I’m out,” the boy decided, starting to walk away.

But Spot caught his arm. “Wait! C’mon, I can’t do this by myself,” he smiled charmingly, pulling Race a bit closer. Race still looked extremely hesitant. So Spot tilted his head. “You said it yourself, this is the first time you’ve felt alive in a long time… I know you’ve got more fire in you than that,” he coaxed.

The blond boy scoffed and looked down. “Look, I ain’t no daredevil,” he shrugged. “I’m just a kid in way over his head—“

“I need you ta help me navigate! You’d be in control,” Spot insisted. “C’mon,  you trust me, I trust you… you get ta live up to the name ‘Racer’...” he tried to seduce.

Rolling his eyes a bit, the boy chewed on his bottom lip. “I had fun t’night,” he stated. “Thanks… for everything…” he breathed.

Spot stepped just a bit closer to him. Not quite close enough. Race could feel his heart ready to pound out of his chest. “Stay,” he asked in a breath. “J’st ta see what else happens.”

Just as Race might’ve argued again, might’ve actually listened to his brothers telling him how big of an idiot he was being in his head, a very loud, black, dirty truck pulled up beside them. A boy jumped out. He was huge, tatted up with what looked to be a glass eye in placement of what would’ve been his left eye. He had a smirk on his face. “‘Sup, guys! Racer, Racer! Let’s see you do something actually amazing,” he laughed, shoving a large bumper sticker into Race’s chest. The blond only caught it out of instinct. “Just hold that up for me, blondie,” he smirked, snapping a picture of a confused looking Race with the sticker in his hands.

Then the boy kissed his fingers and gave them a peace sign with his hand. “See you at the finals, ‘Your Highness’!” he mocked, sticking his tongue out before he jumped back in his car and drove away.

Race looked to Spot, still holding the sticker. “Do you know that guy?” he asked.

Spot sighed and shook his head. “No…” he muttered, but neither of them were very convinced. Still, he looked back at Race pleadingly. “Race, do this with me? All ya gotta do is say yes, n’ you have total control…” he encouraged.

And for just a moment Race got lost in those amazing brown eyes and then suddenly he was on the back of a motorcycle, clinging to Spot so tightly he wondered if the other boy could even breathe. He was staring at a red light, waiting for an inevitable change to happen. There were two minutes on the clock. Just two minutes. To agonizing minutes.

Spot glanced back at him and let out a breath. “You can do this,” he encouraged before he pulled down the shield of his helmet with the sticker Race had been holding stuck to the front of it. New York F***ing City it said.

Race squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. And when he opened them, “Okay… green,” he breathed, wishing he had been man enough to say no to this. The motorcycle started rolling forward. Race couldn’t breathe. “Okay, okay,” he muttered again and again.

“You gotta talk to me, Racer! What’s happening?”

Everything was shaky. Spot wasn’t driving straight. Race peeked out over his shoulder. It was a blur of cars and lights. “Cab on your right!” he called, noting that Spot was drifting towards it.

“On my right? Or go ta my right?”

“No! It’s on your right, go left!” Race cried as they got closer to the taxi.

“What?”

They were going to crash. Race knew they were going to crash. He was going to die, they were both going to die. “Hey!” the cab driver yelled. “You have a sticker on your helmet!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Race screamed, hitting the cab. “Left, left, left!” he tried to instruct in a panicked tone. So Spot went left. And now they were headed for some trees that divided the road. “Too far left!”

Spot’s knuckles were turning white. “What?!” he cried.

Race let out a panicked scream and then leaned to the right, trying to brace himself. But Spot got back on balance immediately. “Oh my god!” Race cried.

“Okay! Okay! That worked!” Spot yelled. “Just keep doin’ that!”

Race gripped onto Spot tighter. “What? Lean?” he asked.

“Yes! Lean!” Spot agreed. “You are in control!”

That was the most terrifying thing Race was sure he’d ever heard. “Okay… okay… next lights green…” he instructed hesitantly. “We’re at thirty! We’re halfway!” he stated.

“Good! That’s good! What’s next? We clear?” Spot asked.

Race’s heart plummeted when he saw the next light turning yellow. He couldn’t believe he was about to do this. “Next light is…” he looked down at the clock. They wouldn’t make it. Not if they slammed on the breaks. “Green!” he lied as the thing turned red. “Go faster! Faster!” He put a hand on top of Spot’s, trying to pump the gas harder.

Race screamed as they were almost hit. Well, the person driving that giant black van hated them. Amazing.

“Okay!” Spot yelled. “We still clear?” he asked.

Race nodded against his shoulder. “Yes! We’re clear!” he called. Only he didn’t see the cab rolling over for the woman on their right. He gasped and leaned to the left immediately, screaming as he did so. That’s when a minivan drove up beside them. They were screaming for them. “Whoa! Racer! Brooklyn! We love you!”

Spot gave them a shaky, quick wave. He couldn’t even see them. “Love you too!” he yelled. “Time check!”

“Thirty seconds! We’re almost there!” Race yelled. “We’re at fifty!” He guided them into a tunnel, leaning to avoid the other cars. Some people were honking, others were recording them. Race didn’t have eyes for any of them. “Faster, Spottie! Faster!” he screamed. “We’re clear, just go!”

Spot gripped painfully at the handles. “Count it down, pretty boy!”

“Fifty five…” Race started. “Fifty seven, fifty eight, fifty nine, sixty! Whoa! We did it!” he cried.

Immediately, Spot pushed the shield of his helmet up. “Whoa!” he cried, before his eyes widened. The road was ending. “Oh shit!” he screamed, clutching onto the breaks. “Hold on! Hold on!”

“Oh god!” Race cried.

Spot managed to come to a stop just before they crashed into the building in front of them. And he was breathing hard. “Oh my god, we just did that,” he muttered. “Holy shit! We just did that! You just did that!” he laughed.

It took a moment for the terror to fade away, for Race to start laughing. “Oh my god… my brothers gonna kill me…” he laughed. “We just did that!”

Spot helped them off of the bike and Race stumbled into him. They were both shaking and suddenly, as Spot took his helmet off, they were just staring at each other. It felt like an eternity before they finally allowed themselves to close the distance.

Jennie dropped her phone into her bag and focused her attention on me. Most boys would be at each other's throats for this much attention from her. They all seemed to love her tiny figure with just enough curves to be flawless. Whereas I could never find the right outfit to hide my lumps but also hug my humps.

“Y/n, you know I love you,” she stated with a gentle smile. “But you can be kind of a pushover sometimes.” A pushover? Is that what everyone thought? “The show is a perfect example.” Did everyone really think of me as this shy doormat? “I just don’t think you have the same guts to pull off some of those dares. They can get dangerous.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Without even thinking about it I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the auditorium. Jennie and I had been friends since we were kids, but it was now clear to me she only thought of me as her little pushover sidekick. I just felt so angry. I sat against the wall of the school and looked up at the setting sun. What time was it?

7:58 pm, my phone read.

Suddenly an ad popped up on my phone since I was still using a VPN on the school wifi. NERVE flashed on my screen in bright neon colors with tempting prizes and a link to the site. I don’t know what compelled me to click the link but suddenly a video with an obviously animatronic voice was playing.

Welcome to NERVE. Are you a Watcher or a Player?

Are you a Watcher or a Player?

Are you a Watcher or a Player?

My finger hovered over Watcher, but then I thought back to Jennie and to events in the past few weeks that made me realize she was right. I was too much of a wallflower to even ask out my dance partner Hyunjin, let alone fight for my own spot in the show.

Without hesitation I pressed Player and a new video started playing with the same voice, only this time showing some weird clips or other players and some online jokes.

You have chosen...Player. NERVE is a direct democracy. Watchers decide your dares.

The two Players with the most Watchers at the end of regulation will advance to the final round, where the winner takes all.

Watchers can watch from anywhere, but they are encouraged to film live. So, don't be alarmed. There are three rules.

1. All dares must be filmed on the Player's phone.

2. There are only two ways to be eliminated: Fail or Bail.

3. Snitches get stitches.

Thank you for keeping NERVE a secret. Good luck Player.

"Well, this isn't shady." Another pop up came onto my home screen. Apparently, NERVE had installed its app onto my phone. A 'yes or no' option popped up that read: Are you ready to accept your first dare?

I pressed 'yes' and quickly filled out the profile information before the app took me to another screen with my dare and a countdown of 25 minutes.

Go to Java House and wait for a boy in a black, yellow, and white flannel shirt and jean jacket. Convince him to buy you a coffee.

When he goes in line, sing loudly and off-key 100 Bottles of Coke on the Wall until he gives it to you. Then dump it over your head.

Reward: $200

"Oh shit. I need a ride." Quickly I called Seungmin hoping he was still inside. Thankfully he answered. "Hey what's up-"

"Seungmin are you done with lights?" "Umm yeah, why?" I quickly told him what happened and hung up the phone waiting for him to come out of the building. The timer on my phone flashed 19 minutes and 23 seconds left.

"You're playing NERVE?" Seungmin yelled at me as he exited the building and we ran to his car. "Yeah, so what. Come on, we have 18 minutes to get to Java House."

The ride to the coffee house was silent. I was honestly glad that Seungmin was coming with me in case this guy I was meeting was a creep. "Why are you doing this again?" Seungmin said keeping his eyes on the road. "I don't know. To prove that I can cause apparently people only like and notice you if you are this confident and daring person."

Another silence momentarily filled the car. "You mean like Jennie?" I shrugged and checked the timer again. "You know I don't think all that stuff matters. I like people who are more soft-spoken, and sweet, and honest, and creative-"

"Seungmin we're here. Stop the car!" I said already taking off my seatbelt. He jerked the car into a parking space, but I was already halfway to the door. A glance at my phone revealed that I had arrived with 2 minutes and 51 seconds to spare. I heaved a sigh of relief and scanned the coffee shop looking for the boy NERVE had described.

"Geez wait for your friend much," Seungmin said coming in behind me. "Sorry, Min. He isn't here yet." Seungmin moved to stand in front of me. "Y/n, what if this dude is a total creep-" "That's why I have you, Seungmin." He mumbled something under his breath but the ringing of the Cafe doorbell sent my attention flying to the entrance.

A gorgeous girl, maybe college-aged, strut through the door. Behind her was a boy about the same age, with dark hair and plump cheeks, but when he turned his head to scan the shop his features immediately became as sharp as a knife. Silver earrings swayed with the movement of his head as a hand ran through his dark locks. My eyes looked down to find him wearing the yellow flannel and jean jacket. Our eyes locked and he smirked eyeing me up and down. He handed the girl his phone and she immediately started recording.

"Seungmin, that's him! Go over there and start recording!" I said shoving my phone into my friend's hands and shoving him to a booth. My hands shook as the handsome boy walked over to me, but I tried to channel how Jennie often looked when talking to guys. I pushed my shoulders back and held his stare hoping that my smile didn't look creepy or deranged.

"Are you Y/n?"

"What's it to you?"

"Well you, hot stuff, are a crucial part of my dare."

"As you are of mine." He chuckled and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Look all you have to do is proclaim out loud what a great lover I am and then let me show my appreciation." I hoped my cheeks weren't as red as they felt.

I looked him up and down and then spared a glance toward the girl filming the two of us. "Fine, but only if you buy me a drink." "Sure." "Iced chai tea latte and quickly.....please." The last part I added as he walked away and he looked back and gave me a small smile. He stepped in line and I shut my eyes and began to sing very loudly.

"100 BOTTLES OF COKE ON THE WALL!

100 BOTTLES OF COKE! YOU TAKE ONE DOWN PASS IT AROUND, 99 BOTTLES OF COKE ON THE WALL!"

I continued to belt the song and I prayed that Flannel Boy would hurry the fuck up before I burst into tears. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. There was something about being the center of attention that just made me uncomfortable. It was different when I was on stage, but here....in real life....it was too much.

"61 BOTTLES OF-" Someone gently tapped my shoulder and I opened my eyes. Flannel Boy stood holding my drink with a gentle smile. His brown eyes had a kind look to them unlike earlier when they were filled with mischief. "One iced chai tea latte for the pretty lady."

I thanked him and without hesitating dumped the cold drink over my head with a small shriek. The liquid soaked my hair and shirt and the ice was painfully cold. I looked up to find him shocked and fighting back a small smile. It was one of those smiles that were out of complete surprise but you knew he wasn't laughing at you.

I heard the entire coffee shop gasp and some laugh and I didn't have to look around to know that at least a third of them had their phones out. It was then I remembered my part of the deal with him.

So as loud as I could I said, "This man is the best lover I have ever had!" A smile came over his face that reached his eyes and a hand came to rest on my waist, brushing up against bare, cold, tea drenched skin.

"Aww thanks, babe." Before I could react, he pressed his lips against mine. His hand came up to my cheek and pushed a strand of wet hair away. I couldn't help but melt. He pulled away leaving only a couple of inches between us.

"I'm Han."

"I'm Y/n."

"Yeah, I know."

"Sorry. The iced tea kind of fried my brain." I said with a nervous chuckle.

He laughed and pulled away further. "Oh, your shirt!" He said looking down and then quickly away. Looking down I saw I had forgotten something very important. I was wearing a white thin crop top with a black bra underneath for everyone in the crowded coffee shop to see. Panicking I crossed my arms over my chest and felt the heat creeping up my cheeks and ears.

"Here." Han swiftly removed his jean jacket and draped it over my shoulders, pulling it to cover my front.

"Han-ah! We got it, let's go." The blonde girl said leaning against a booth. He nodded in her direction before turning back to me. "I think your girlfriend wants you to go."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Oh-"

Without another word, the boy smiled and started towards the door. "Wait!" He turned at my call. "Your jacket?" With a small smile and a hand on the door he said. "Keep it. I'll see you in the Rounds, babe."

With that the two disappeared into the night leaving me standing in the middle of the shop, surrounded by the smell of coffee and something sweet. Maybe mint? Seungmin's voice brought me out of whatever trance I was in. "Y/n, it's 9:45! Isn't your curfew in 15 minutes?"

"Oh fuck!"

The two of us raced to Seungmin's beat-up old car and prayed that the traffic gods were feeling gracious. The minutes ticked closer to 10:00 and I got more and more anxious. If I missed the last night of this punishment caused curfew I would never have another taste of freedom for the rest of my life.

With three minutes to spare I opened my front door to find all but the kitchen lights off. "Y/n?" My mother called out. I sighed and trudged towards my mother's voice. She stood cutting vegetables for tomorrow's dinner. Her hair was neatly pulled up and out of her face, so her stern eyes could focus on the blade in her slender hands.

At some point, I remember wanting to look just like her. Sharp features, slender waist, and small frame. Some part of me still did. The part that hoped one day I would wake up and the fat on my stomach or thighs would disappear and my mother would be proud to say, "Look at my beautiful, daughter."

"Cutting it a little close?" I nodded and set my backpack down on the kitchen table. "There were some problems with sound. They lost our track." She could always tell when I was lying, so I prayed she wasn't doing her fucking C3P0 scanning thing to detect my dishonesty.

She simply nodded and continued chopping vegetables after looking at the time. "Whose jacket is that?" Her usually soft voice had an edge. "Oh, one of the guys spilled coffee all over my shirt and offered it to me." Well....it wasn't a total lie.

A deafening silence followed and I felt awkward standing in the middle of the kitchen. Deciding that two minutes was enough of dead silence and that the conversation was over, I turned over my shoulder and headed for the stairs.

"Y/n?"

"Yes..."

I turned back to find my mother looking at me with a kind smile.

"Thank you for being so patient with the whole curfew situation. You have shown me that you are responsible enough without one." Returning the smile, my tired body climbed the remaining stairs and hopped in the shower. My room was dark and the only light came from my phone, which I put on the nightstand. Crawling under the warm covers I pulled the device from its charger.

Account Deposit: $200.00

With a click, the screen shut off and I lay staring at the ceiling. Tonight was a night I certainly wouldn't forget but had no chance of repeating. I hated to admit it, but Jennie was right. The dare was fun while it lasted, but it wasn't really in my comfort zone.

My mind wandered to Han with his dark hair and lean figure. I wondered where he was. If he was doing another dare just for fun, or at home, going back to a normal life. Just like me.

My eyes closed and a heaviness fell upon them. The warmth of my room and bed surrounded me in a veil of security. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was Han's eyes looking over at me, a smile reaching the corners.

In the darkness, while I slept soundly, a sound was heard. My phone vibrated against the wooden end table as a constant stream of notifications lit up the device.

Saturday. Today was supposed to be the day I performed my choreography in front of a huge audience filled with talent scouts and college recruiters. Sunlight streamed through my curtains hitting my very unawake face.

Run Away by Teen Top started blasting from my phone making me bolt upright. Running a hand through my messy knotted hair I grabbed the phone and cursed whoever was calling me.

Jennie

My hand suddenly felt very heavy and my entire body screamed for me to go back to bed and ignore her call, but I didn't. "Hel-"

"What the fuck, Y/n!"

"Jen, what's up?" I said hoping I wasn't now deaf in my right ear. "What's up? What's up. I'll tell you what's up. The fact that your little prelim dare went viral! What the hell were you thinking!?" My blood ran cold. Frantically I searched for my laptop as Jennie continued to scream at me over the phone.

"WAIT WHAT!"

Stuffing my phone between my cheek and my shoulder I logged onto the NERVE website and the first thing I saw was the leader board. I watched as the Watcher count by my user name skyrocketed into the thousands. Alongside it was a link to my dare. I scanned the leaderboards and no longer saw Jennie's name. She had landed the 8th slot earlier this week and was so proud. My eyes caught on the user in fifth place. Han's picture was placed next to the user @J.One. And just below him in sixth, was me...

"I can't believe you kicked me off the leaderboard!"

"Jennie it was a one-time thing really! I just wanted it to try it. I have no intention of competing in the rounds."

There was silence over the phone. "Are you sure?" Her voice was soft and I could tell she didn't believe me. I repeated myself once more and promised that I wouldn't do another dare. I hoped that set her mind at ease. "Who was that guy anyway?" Her tone was back to normal as if I had never upset her at all.

"I have no clue. His name was Han, though."

I smiled clicking my video. It was weird watching the two of us meet from someone else's point of view. I looked so obviously out of place next to him. "Was he a good kisser at least?" My finger moved over the mouse pad and fast-forwarded to later in the video. I watched as Han smiled and pressed his lips on mine.

"Yeah...he was." I couldn't hide the grin in my voice.

"Well too bad you'll never see him again. He looked way older than us anyway."

Taking a second glance at the screen I couldn't disagree. He was obviously way more experienced than I was. The video was hardcore proof. He definitely was at least a sophomore or junior in college as well. Once again Jennie was right.

"You still coming to the show?" Did I want to? Abso-fucking-lutely not. Was I going to? Yes. I absentmindedly scrolled through the comments at the video while Jennie talked. They ranged from serial killer perverted about my tits and wet t-shirt to angry hat comments for kissing Han, who apparently already had a fan base. The phone call ended and I was about the shut my laptop when the page refreshed with new comments. And at the top was a comment from Hyunjin, the boy who I've had a crush on since freshman year.

Didn't know you had it in you, Y/n! Nice shirt ;)

My face flushed a beet red and a grin spread all the way to my ears. My mother's shrill voice interrupted my daydream of Hyunjin actually liking me back. "Y/n! One hour until we have to leave!" What? Confused I looked at the time. "Oh fuck!" I had slept in until three in the afternoon. I guess all the stress and excitement for yesterday exhausted me more than I thought.

I jumped in the shower and dried my hair as quickly as possible. In record time I applied foundation, contour, and eyeliner before sprinting to my closet. Hyunjin is going to be there. Crap. Clothes flew across the room as I searched for something that would be in any way flattering.

I settled for some black high waisted shorts and a belt with a blue and white vertical striped button-down. Slipping on some simple silver accessories, and a choker, I checked the time. It had been an hour and five minutes. My mom would be storming up here any minute now.

I grabbed some chunky white sneakers and tied them tightly just as my mom burst through the door. "Y/n! Let's go! After I drop you off I have a meeting!" The two of us rushed to the car and hurried to the school. "Are you staying out after?" I nodded and looked out the window. "There is a party at Jennie's house after. If I can't get a ride from Seungmin, Jennie said I could stay over." She nodded and the rest of the ride was silent.

After dropping me off my mom dashed off towards her meeting and would probably end up working late into the night since I was busy. That left me to watch a show that I choreographed and was kicked out of.

By 7:30 the entire event was finished and I had little crescent marks on the palms of my hands. Had I been any stronger my nails would have broken through the skin. I gritted my teeth as I sent my congratulations to all the dancers I saw. I walked backstage in search of Jennie and Seungmin, who was honestly probably hiding from all the commotion.

"Have you seen Jennie?" I asked a passing my sophomore, I think his name was Felix. I remember him doing really well with my choreography. "Uh.....yeah I think she went into the dressing rooms like ten minutes ago." I smiled and congratulated him on a great show. It was quiet backstage. But being alone in a theater was honestly one of my favorite places.

My knuckles gently tapped on the dressing room door before entering. What I saw had me frozen in shock. Jennie had changed out her costume and into a tube top and short skirt. She was also wearing a Hyunjin like a scarf. They hardly even noticed me enter the room too busy with what body part to grope.

"Jennie?"

Tears threatened to fall as the two of them looked up. She didn't even bother to push him away. Out of the two of them, Hyunjin looked the most ashamed which was just a real kick in the metaphorical balls.

"Come on, Y/n. You didn't really think he liked you, right?"

Any normal person would scream at her or slap her or at least get angry with her. But I did none of those things. I simply walked out of the building passing a concerned Seungmin on the way. I ignored him and kept walking looking up at the ceiling, begging for tears not to fall.

Ding

Freezing in the middle of the hall I looked down at my phone to see a notification from NERVE. In the background, I could hear Seungmin catching up to me. With blurry vision, I opened the app.

Congratulations! You have qualified to compete in the live rounds where the prizes are bigger and the stakes are higher!

Do you wish to continue?

My hand hovered over the no button. Subconsciously still willing to follow through with a promise I made to my best friend who was currently giving hickeys to the boy I liked. "Y/n! What's wrong?" Me. I was what's wrong. It was time for a change. It was time to do what I wanted for once.

Just as Seungmin reached my side I pressed the accept button and another creepy video played, welcoming me to the official game.

"Y/n......please tell me you didn't just do that."

The device vibrated in my hand as a new notification popped on the screen. NERVE had sent me my first dare.

Go into the city. 41× ×××××××× Ln.

My heart jumped at the reward. It was two tickets and a backstage pass to my favorite band. I hadn't told anyone I was even looking at tickets! "Seungmin, can you take me into the city?"

His face held disapproval all over it. "Y/n, you cannot play this game! Some kid died two years ago! Don't you remember? Plus no one knows how the game is run. It's across so many separate servers that it's impossible to verify anything. They could suck up all your information they wanted to." I scoffed. "Min that was just some rumor. Also, I'll be careful with what info I give them." Seungmin was the smartest guy I knew, but like me, he played only in his comfort zone. "How far are you going to take this?"

Shrugging, my eyes looked over the almost empty lobby. Everyone had probably already headed over to Jennie's house for the after-party. "If they ask me to do anything uncomfortable or illegal I'll stop. I promise." He sighed and scratched the back of his neck clearly having an internal battle.

"Fine. But I'm sticking by you."

I smiled and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the parking lot. The ignition started and I pressed ‘accept’, starting the timer. "We have 18 minutes to get to this address!" Min glanced at the screen and then pulled out of the lot at high speeds.

The two of us raced down the highway headed towards Seoul. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out the window admiring the Seoul skyline. Something at this moment made me feel so free. The wind blew through my hair and the world looked so big and bright.

We pulled in front of this huge building. The sign obviously stating that it was a haute couture department store. Everything in there was worth probably more than my life three times over.

NERVE congratulated me on the completion of my dare. A confirmation email was sent into my inbox with the ticket order and number. I screamed from delight! Seungmin and I stood outside watching expensive cars and people come down the street.

Ding

Seungmin came around the car to my side. Pulling up the NERVE app I read my next dare.

You have 17 minutes to find and try on this dress.

Reward: $850

Below the dare was a picture of a gorgeous black dress on a mannequin. Seungmin let out a slow whistle over my shoulder. "That thing must cost a fortune!" I ran a hand through my hair and nodded. Looking up the store stood maybe 15 stories tall. Finding that singular dress in ten minutes was going to take a miracle.

"Come on! We don't have a lot of time." Seungmin had already started walking towards the entrance. Before I could follow him my phone sounded again.

Ding

Looking down, I read the message. "Seungmin...." He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. Innocent eyes looking back at me with a smile. Confirming that he would most likely follow me into whatever crazy shit I got myself into.

"You can't come." His face fell and he walked back to me. I showed him the message.

Ditch your techie boyfriend.

"Y/n, you can't seriously be thinking of doing this alone?" He could tell by my face that I was going to follow through. "I'm not going to let you do this by yourself. It's too dangerous!"

"Seungmin! I have to do this alone!" He looked away from me I could see a million things he wanted to say. Both of us were stubborn but he knew this was a battle he couldn't win. "Fine, but I'm signing up as a Watcher."

"Just don't sign up to film dares or they could say I'm cheating." He shrugged and got back into the car. "Yeah sure."

"Seungmin...." I placed my hand on his shoulder through the open window. "Thank you." He smiled softly and motioned for me to leave.

Clicking accept, the camera activated and the timer started counting down. I tried to keep my face somewhat in frame as I ran into the store. My eyes frantically searched for a store clerk. 1:29 had passed.

"Hey! Excuse me! Um......have you seen this dress?" She raised her heavily drawn eyebrow. "Yes, of course, I've seen it."

Really? You're really gonna pull that shit with me? "Where is it? Sorry, I'm headed to a party? In a little bit of a rush." She scoffed and pointed behind her. Clearly, she thought it was hilarious someone like me would even be in the store.

"8th floor." I thanked her and brought the phone back up a little bit to film less of a shit angle. I raced to the elevator but a check with the timer told me there wasn't enough time. "Oh fuck." Comments popped up tens at a time as I raced up the stairs. Bursting through the 8th-floor doors I scanned each mannequin looking for the black dress.

Thankfully I found it with 8 minutes to spare. I quietly tried to unzip the zipper. I was halfway there. Just a couple more inches.

"Excuse me, miss." I froze, a deer in headlights. "Don't undress the mannequin. I can see if I have that in your size." A man with quaffed hair and a matron suit said. He looked me up and down with a questioning gaze. He gave a forced smile when I told him my size.

"Could you please hurry? I'm late for a....uh...party." With a nod, he disappeared to find the dress. I let out a sigh of relief and prayed that he could find it quickly. I gave a quick smile toward the camera before picking up the tag on the dress.

"HOLY FUCK!" I exclaimed under my breath. The dress cost close to $2,000. Who would pay $2,000 for a black bodycon dress? I could get something like this for $20 online probably.

The man returned with the dress with 5 minutes to spare. He led me to a communal dressing room area in a half-moon shape with curtained rooms lining the walls.

Rushing into the far right one, I threw my phone onto the bench and angled the camera towards me. Throwing off my shirt and shorts I grabbed the dress keeping an eye on the timer. 1 minute left. I was thankful for the fact I wore a black bra and underwear seeing as there were so many mesh panels.

Writhing around like the demon from the Exorcist, I tried to close the zipper. I could see the timer counting down from 10 on the screen. Comments flooded a tiny section of the screen as I watched the camera capture all of my attempts to get the zipper that last inch.

With two seconds left I cheered and grabbed my phone stepping out of the dressing room. "I'm done!" I flipped the camera to show the mirror. However, no notification came telling me I completed the dare. I tapped the screen, still seeing comments coming in. "What? Come on! I totally finished in time." I sighed defeated.

Ding

Congratulations! $850.00 has been wired to your account.

Smiling I pumped my fist in the air like a dork. "Are you still doing okay, Miss?" The clerk said walking in. Immediately I straighten my posture and got rid of the goofy smile. "Yes, I'm doing fine." After the man walked away I let my hand fall to my side. The reflection in the mirror called me to look at it.

My eyes scanned over my body in the mirror from bottom to top. My white sneakers still looked the same but as I moved up my appearance changed. My legs suddenly looked nicer and curvier rather than large. The black dress hugged my hips and hid my love handles. It looked fantastic. A smile slid onto my face. I loved what I saw in the mirror. I thought I looked pretty.

"So, you come here often?" I joked at my reflection.

"Oh, me?"

"What's your email number- I mean uh- what's your uh- your number?" I cringed internally and physically at how awkward I was even in this gorgeous dress. The dress gave me confidence, but not enough to change the fact that I cannot speak. I couldn't help but laugh at myself.

"Well look at you."

I turned at the voice to find Han walking out of one of the dressing rooms. His eyes drank in my figure with a small smile of wonder.

"You look beautiful." He said crossing the distance. "You clean up quite nicely too."

He dusted off his blazer with a smirk. The white dress shirt underneath the gray blazer with black lapels was fitted to his lean body. The top two buttons were left undone showing the tan skin on his neck and collarbone. The fabric was tucked into slim-fitting cropped dress pants that made him look a little taller. However, similarly, Han's shows did not match his ensemble. The black Doc Martens on his feet should have clashed with everything else, but the whole outfit seemed quite him.

"Why thank you." Again his eyes wandered up and down my body, not in a sensual way, but more like in amazement. "We make quite the couple don't we?" He said with a smile as his hand wrapped around my waist. He looked in the mirror and stuck his other hand in his pocket.

I chuckled as he made funny faces at me in the mirror. But he was right. Standing next to him in the mirror I almost looked like I belonged there. Maybe a little awkward, but less out of place next to him. "What are the chances we both get a dare in the same place?" I asked with a naive smile.

Ding Ding

Both our phones went off at about the same time. He smiled as he read his dare. Looking at mine I couldn't help but do the same.

Let Han choose shoes to finish your look.

Reward: $350

Han flipped his phone to show me. His screen had a similar dare written on it. This had to be the easiest $350 I would ever make. 

Complete Y/n’s ensemble.

Reward: Laptop and Recording Mic

“Milady, if you would come this way?” With an overexaggerated bow he motioned for the doorway. Taking the goofball’s hand we both headed out onto the floor in search of the shoe section. 

Han knelt on the floor below me trying to unfasten the tiny buckle on a pair of women’s heels while he riffed in a terrible British accent. My camera stayed trained on him while his phone was propped up on a bunch of shoe boxes. Another string of cuss words flew out of his mouth as the strap slipped through his larger fingers. I threw my head back in laughter, looking around the store.

A flash of black leather caught my eye. A boy maybe a few years older than me was speeding through the aisle towards the exit, phone in hand. His blonde hair contrasted against his pale skin and muscular form. He wore all black including a worn leather jacket and dark ripped jeans. Gripped tightly in his hands were two bags with the store’s name branded across the middle. 

“Ah HaH!” My attention was immediately brought back to the boy on the floor who had finally managed to undo the clasp. A shy smile slipped onto my lips as he slid the black heel onto my foot. Though I didn’t consider myself a girly girl, I felt like Cinderella. With my assistance, we fastened the buckle on both shoes and I stood in front of the mirror. Han panned the phone over my entire outfit.

“Gorgeous! I’ll take three pairs! One for the Hamptons, one for lounging, and one for housework.”

He snorted behind the camera and handed my phone back when NERVE said the dare was complete. After changing back into my old beat up Filas, the two of us headed back towards the dressing rooms. “Well, this has been really fun,” I said standing in the center of the room. He smiled, hands in his pockets. “Yeah, it has.” There was a moment where we just looked at each other, and I swear I saw some sort of longing in his eyes. His eyes looked down to my lips for a split second.

Ding

“Oh, sorry. One moment.” “No, no. Go ahead.” I watched as Han pulled away, I hadn’t realized how close he had gotten. He scratched the back of his head and turned away from me. The notification was simply I deposit from my bank, but it brought me back to reality. “I should probably get...going.” Han turned back and looked at me with big eyes. I couldn’t help but smile at how cute he looked. “Oh, yeah. Sure. I’ll see you around?” I smiled and started towards my dressing room. 

“Hey, Y/n-”

“Yes?”

“You look really beautiful.” I smiled at him and hoped I wasn’t blushing too much. 

The two of us then turned and walked to our respective dressing rooms. My smile disappeared when I saw the room empty. My stuff nowhere in sight. Getting down on my knees, I checked under the bench and behind it, as well as behind a potted plant in the corner. I started to panic, the choker on my neck suddenly feeling very tight.

I rushed out into the open. Maybe I had walked into the wrong room? Opening the curtains I checked the last three, of course, finding absolutely nothing. Was I going crazy? Returning to the original dressing room I started to really panic. Did someone really take my stuff? Maybe the clerk thought I left it here for too long.

“Y/n?”

“Han?”

The two of us met in the center once more. He had the same panicked expression written all over his handsome features. “You didn’t take my stuff, did you? As a dare?” I asked, trying not to let my voice get too loud. “What? No, of course not! All my shit is gone too!” My mind was reeling, trying to think of how to get out of this situation. “Fuck! The game is probably just messing with us. Or maybe it was a Watcher? I saw some out on the floor.”

“Han, what are we going to do? We can’t pay for these clothes and we don’t have-”

Just then the store clerk from earlier passed by in the hall. Han dragged me into a dressing room and closed the curtain, giving us privacy. He ran a shaking hand through his dark hair, completely stressed out. “What if we-”

Ding

Both devices went off at once. Sharing a look, we read NERVE’s next dare. 

“No. No way.” Han said letting his phone fall onto the bench before turning back to me. “What other choice do we have?” His hands once again ran through his hair, a habit caused by stress, I could now assume.”I mean I knew that the Watchers were thinking about teaming us up, but this could actually get us arrested!” I tried to quiet his voice in case the clerk decided to walk by again. He seemed to calm a little when my hand came over his shoulder. I looked at my phone once more.

Leave the store.

Reward: New iPhone and free unlimited plan

At this point, I didn’t care about the prize. I racked my brain trying to think of any way out of this besides stealing. Though I did keep my debit card in my phone case, there was no way I could afford to pay for both my and Han’s clothes. Suddenly it hit me. “Technically,” He looked over at me, his eyes hopeful for any solution.

“Technically...it just says we have to leave the store,” 

Han stuck his head out through the curtain, making sure the coast was clear. “Okay, are you ready?” He asked holding his phone tight in his hand. Thankfully NERVE didn’t put a time limit on this dare. With a nod, we both clicked ‘accept’ and ventured out into the open. 

The air was cold and I felt exposed standing in just my black underwear and bra. I followed closely behind Han who held his phone up as casually as possible to film the dare. I had my camera on selfie mode and tried not to let the angle drop below my midriff. Just as we were about to turn a corner we ran into a sales clerk, who upon the sight of us, screamed her head off. 

“Run!” Taking my hand, Han and I sprinted through the store racing in between racks in our underwear. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see some people recording, they must have been Watchers.  My laughter filled the air as we maneuvered between people and racks. With four floors left to go, I stopped Han and pointed to our left. “Elevator!” 

Changing directions, we ran towards the elevator. Laughing I held up the camera and smiled before panning back to Han as he ferociously pressed the down button. He smiled when the bronze doors opened and pulled me into the empty lift.

An awkward silence filled the elevator as we started moving down. An embarrassed laugh left my lips as we looked at each other. It was so hard not to look at him. Never in my life had I seen a more perfect body. His skin was golden and his stomach had subtle lines of muscles defining it. He scoffed his shoes on the tile floor obviously struggling to look anywhere but in my direction.

He opened his mouth to speak to me, but the elevator doors opened to reveal a middle-aged couple. Their jaws dropped as we stared at each other. "Okay, bye!" I screamed grabbing Han's hand and sprinting out of the elevator.

As we traveled down the escalator, going against the movement of the device, we heard staff chasing us. The second our feet touched the floor we sprinted past customers who stood in utter shock at the scene before us.

Bursting through the entrance doors we spilled out onto the street only to be met with a huge crowd of Watchers filming us. Cameras flashed as we pushed through the crowd across the street. Han led me to a motorcycle that was parked near the curb.

"What's this?" He said picking up two bags hanging off the handlebars. I grabbed one of the bags to pull out the dress from earlier. "Oh my god! Are these stolen?" I whispered, stuffing the dress back in the bag. Han searched his bag and pulled out a piece of paper.

"No, receipt. We're good."

"Who could have paid for all this?"

"Probably one of the Watchers with daddy's credit card."

I chuckled and slipped the fabric over my head. I felt better finally being covered in clothing. Han quickly buttoned his pants and slipped his arms in the sleeves of his button-down. "Could you zip me real quick?" Seeing him nod I turned around and felt his warm hands brush against the skin of my back. When I could feel the cool strip of metal fully closed against my skin I turned around, thanking him with a smile.

Ding

I pulled out my phone while Han finished buttoning his shirt and pulling on his jacket. I screamed with joy as the notification enlarged on my screen.

"Who 3fanxy's in here!" I smiled thinking of one of my favorite songs. NERVE had given us an extra prize since our Watcher count had gone up 5,000 viewers. Han and I were now in fourth and fifth place.

Congratulations! Your confirmation and receipt for your phone have been sent to your email and will be mailed to you.

$1,600 has also been deposited into your account.

Han looked over at me with a smirk, pulling keys off of a hidden hook on the bike. "Was that Zico?" He looked me up and down as he leaned against the bike, which I now assumed was his. "What? It's a good song! Fight me." He laughed as he checked his phone briefly too. "No, I love Zico. Bermuda Triangle, right?" I nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"His music got me through a really tough time in my life." Maybe it wasn't a coincidence that I was paired up with Han? Han smiled softly at me. He ran a hand through his shaggy dark hair. His brown eyes surveyed the area. He motioned to a bench a few feet away. “We should have a little time before the next dare. Do you want to get to know each other?”

The two of us sat on the bench, the city lights bouncing off the buildings and creating shadows on our faces. “So, what’s something you’ve never told anyone before?” His eyes sparkled with curiosity as he draped an arm over the back of the metal bench looking over at me.

“Ummm you’re a stranger. I barely know you!” I said with a nervous laugh.

“Please! We’ve kissed and I’ve seen you practically naked.”

A hot blush came over my cheeks as I looked down to see his hand resting on my thigh, closing the already minuscule distance between our seats. 

“Fine. Tell me something about you first.” He smiled and nodded. His brows furrowed as Han tried to think of something. He drummed his fingers across my skin and I struggled to control the flood of heat rushing to my cheeks once again. The action wasn’t sexual, it almost seemed casual and domestic. Something I found ironic but surprisingly nice.

“Okay, got it.” He smiled and turned back to me with the tiniest smile. Motioning for him to continue, his face turned serious.

“For my entire life, I have wanted to make music. A couple years ago, I got scouted by JYP and I’ve literally been living out my dream since. But sometimes...I feel like I don’t deserve it or I’m not ready. Sometimes I just want to go back in time...before all of...this. Is that weird?”

His bright eyes turned sad as he spoke. It was then I noticed little things about him. The dark bags under his eyes, the marks around and in his ears from headphones and headsets, the small callouses and rough patches on his hands and fingers from writing and playing instruments. The was a tiredness about him. 

“No, I don’t think that’s weird. Not at all.”

A smile slipped onto his face as I rested my hand over his. “Okay, your turn, beautiful.” I sighed and thought about everything that happened in the last two days. My thoughts turned back to seeing Jennie and Hyunjin just a few hours earlier. A car horn zooming by brought me back to reality. “Y/n? Hey, beautiful, you good?” Nodding, I started playing with one of the silver rings on my fingers.

“Have you ever felt like the person you are and the person you are with everyone else are completely different?” 

He nodded and I felt his thumb brush across my skin.

“Looking back on my life now, I’ve been spending most of my life being this girl that is such a pushover. Someone who just went with the group, or even my best friend. Not getting to choreograph, I even ignored it when Jennie took my spot as the principal dancer in the showcase.  Even though it wasn’t what I wanted to do or she hurt me, I just brushed it off. That’s kind of why I’m doing this. In the time I’ve been playing this game...I’ve felt the most myself I ever have been. I can say whatever I want and do whatever I want without having to be anybody’s sidekick. I like this version of me better.”

A glance over to Han revealed a kind smile on his lips. It quickly turned into a smirk when my full attention turned on him. “Well if it helps, I like this Y/n very much.” Before I could respond Han’s phone went off signaling a new task. 

“It says we have to go to this address for our next dare. NERVE is just tallying up the Watchers’ votes.” With a smirk, he grabbed me by the hand and pulled me to his bike. “Hold on tight, beautiful.” He revved up the engine as I wrapped my arms around his waist and off into the city we raced.

Soon we arrived in the club district of Seoul. Han double-checked the address as he parked in front of a storefront with bright teal neon lights, casting dreamlike tints over Han’s features. My phone buzzed as I pulled my dress down a little further. 

Do you trust Han?

His brows furrowed as he read over my shoulder. His hand on my waist did not go unnoticed.

The Watchers have decided

Let Han choose your tattoo. It must be at least 2 inches.

Reward: $9,500

“Holy shit. No way. My mom would kill me.” I said finally glancing up to read the neon sign. “What kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?” Han said with a laugh as he dragged me by the hand into the parlor.

“What about a panther riding a lightning bolt?”

“I’ll murder you before the Watchers will ask me to.”

He laughed as he flipped through the book of designs as heavy rock music blasted through the shop. “What about dragons? Or Porky Pig!”

“You’re a duh-duh--duh-duh-duh-duh-douce.” The man prepping the tools laughed and pointed at Han. “Your girlfriend is hilarious. Keep her around.” Han sends me a wink when he sees my flustered face, and then returns to the book. The man, his name was Taehoon, then started to prep the area where Han said my tattoo should go.

“None of these are good enough.” “Han, please don’t make me regret this.”

“Hold on. I’ll just free draw it.”

“THAT’S LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I JUST SAID, YOU BITCH!” 

Han panned my phone over to me to show my pissed off face as Taehoon helped me adjust my dress so he had room to work. After propping my phone up nearby to film he went back to drawing. “Taehoon, over here. “ The man came over needle tattoo thing in hand. “Can you do something like this, but less shitty?” He nodded and a huge grin encompassed his face. “Dude, yes! That is awesome!”

Taehoon came over and laid me on my stomach before giving me a hair tie to get my hair out of the way. The second the needle touched the base of my neck I gritted my teeth and tried to not cry out in pain.

“Han, I hate you so much.”

“Love you too.”

I stifled a scream by biting down on my arm. Suddenly a familiar tune started blasting through the shop. “Ohhhhh! This is a good song!” Taehoon exclaimed before going back to work on the tattoo that was now forming at the base of my neck. The first verse of Zico’s Bermuda Triangle rang throughout the small and neon-lit shop. He laughed when I started passionately singing along. 

“Ow! Han this feels much bigger than two inches!” 

“Chill baby, I’m just finishing the ‘y’ in ‘daddy’.”

“Taehoon! Han, I’m going to fucking kill you!”

“He’s joking! He’s joking! You’re almost done, beautiful.” Han said filming the whole endeavor. To take my mind off the pain of the needle stabbing some weird design into my skin, Han distracted me by blasting Zico, reading off the funniest live comments, and letting me squeeze the living crap out of his hand. 

“Okay. You’re done. Go view my work. Holy shit this is one of the best things I’ve done.” Taehoon said turning off his equipment and cleaning off the excess ink one last time. Han walked with me over to a floor-length mirror and turned me around. Taehoon pulled a handheld mirror from a drawer and handed it to me. I gasped, my eyes finally falling onto the tattoo on the back of my neck. It was gorgeous. It perfectly encapsulated what Han and I had talked about on the bench.

“Han...It’s perfect. Thank you.” I couldn’t stop looking at the art on my skin. The thin flowing lines perfectly made up two separate faces. He smiled as I went to kiss his cheek. He smiled and handed my phone to Taehoon to keep filming so we could show NERVE proof the dare was complete. Han pushed a stray piece of hair away from my neck as Taehoon zoomed in with the camera. 

A few seconds later my phone went off with a notification. “Dare complete. You’ve got balls, little lady.” Taehoon said as he handed me back my phone. Han zipped my dress back up and checked my phone with me.

Dare Completed

Your reward has been deposited in your account along with and extra $500 for the Watcher gain.

Another notification popped up from my back saying a total of $10,000 was deposited in my account. I took out my debit card ready to pay Taehoon for the tattoo, but he stopped me. “Don’t it’s on the house. As long as you let me take a picture of it and promise to come back to me for your next tattoo.” He said with a smile before wrapping me up in a big bear hug. 

With the picture taken Han and I exited the shop and walked towards his bike. “So how painful was it actually? On a scale of one to ten.” “I don’t maybe a 6.7.” 

Ding

Han pulled his phone out of his pocket and swiped to unlock the device. A bright smile slipped over his face. 

Han, do you trust Y/n?

“Ohhhhhhh do I have a tattoo for you!” I said pulling his arm back towards Taehoon’s shop. “Wait, they sent another message.” I stopped and pulling and looked at his phone.

Get to 60mph blindfolded.

Reward: 4-year tuition payment

4-year tuition payment? I thought Han said he was at JYP? “Holy shit...Of course, they would know about his tuition.” Han mumbled under his breath. Suddenly a loud roar came down the street along with deafening EDM music. A huge jeep came cruising down the street and stopped in front of us. The driver's side door opened to reveal the blonde boy from the department store. 

“Chan?” 

“Don’t mind me, Han. Just finishing a dare. Hold this for me would you, hot stuff?”

He handed me a Twice bumper sticker that was a little under a foot long and held up his phone so that NERVE could see his dare was completed. “I’ll see you guys in the finals!” With that, the blonde boy, Chan, drove off into the night.

“There is no way I can do this.” Han turned to me. There was a little bit of panic in his eyes. “What? No Y/n I need your help! I can’t do this without you!” He grabbed my shoulders trying to keep me to stay. “Han this is too much for me. It’s dangerous! I don’t want to do this. I’m done.” 

“Y/n, please! Listen, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll do anything you want me to if you help me. Please, I don’t have a choice.” 

“You don’t have a choice?” 

“That’s not what I meant. My hyung, his tuition. My parents can’t afford to pay for it. Please, Y/n! I trust you. I know we can do this. 

I looked down at his hand gripping tight onto mine. Han had completely changed. He was desperate. His brown eyes pleaded with me, begging me to say yes. I let go of his hands and a sadness and panic filled his face.  I took the helmet that was hanging off the bars of his motorcycle and placed the Twice sticker across the visor, before handing it to Han.

“Okay...”

Part 2?

REQUEST ARE OPEN  (just send me an ask!)