Cleric: With a dumbell...

B: Never had a better workout.

C: Zombies attacked your gym!

B: I thought it a foolish endeavor as well but there may be some merit to surprising the muscles in such a way.

C: And what happened to the zombie master?

B: Did I not tell you of the head smashing?

C: Oh.

B: So, will you revive them?

C: What!? Why!?

B: I feel they may make an excellent personal trainer if their abilities were more well applied.

C: You make no sense.

B: There is a method to my madness. You simply lack the vision to see it.

C: I have darkvision.

One of my favorite moments in Ragnarok is when Hela is in the vault.  She sees the Tesseract (which we now know to be the Space Gem, one of the most powerful items in the universe), and this happens:  

but it sits right there.  She is almost a million years old, she knows what it is.  it’s more powerful than she is.   And she lets it go.  Because she doesn’t WANT the Space Gem, she wants Asgard!   In fitness, this happens to us a lot.  You get started and you say, “My goal is to be strong and powerful like this dude!” 

Great!  So you start eating clean, your sleep right, you lift heavy, you eat a lot of protein, and you train explosive movements.  But the problem is that no matter what you are doing you get to the point where the plan looks like this:  “Do this same thing again for a really long time.”  

That’s not very exciting.  And that’s cool, because you know that the thing you want is at the end of this long straight road.  This long straight road with no turns or sights or other traffic ...... 

Holy Crap!  What was that?!  that guy looks super cool and what he’s doing is crazy fun!  Like way more fun than my squats and walking and eating salmon salad! So we think, “Well, I can do that, right?  Let’s put that thing with the huge heavy balls on chains on hold till I can do muscle ups.  And you make progress relay fast because you’ve never done gymnastics work before!  And then the progress slows down.  And it gets repetitive again.  If your workout were a in a movie this is where the training montage would happen.  But you’re in the real world, so there’s no training montage.  There’s just you getting closer and closer to a muscle up in teeny tiny increments monthly .....  Until you see some one doing Parkour!  That looks cool and fun!

See, the trick is that consistency is the only think that works, at the end of the day.  And while it can feel a little boring, there IS a small secret to it and this is it:

It sort of IS a montage. 

So I’ve joined the Nerd Fitness Rebels and part of Levelling up is to share your goals and why you’re getting into this crazy fitness world. So her is my post from the forum coz you guys have inspired me to share!

Hello awesome nerds! I'm really excited to have joined Nerd Fitness and get stuck in to all of the training!! I’ve decided to make some big changes and create a lifestyle I love.

My big ‘why’ is a combination of things. Firstly I want to be able to feel comfortable when I travel. I love going overseas but those plane seats yo, it's not a good scene. I want to walk the great wall, climb the Eiffel tower, and hike Machu Picchu – sit in a plane seat with room to spare. I want to look like I know how to look after myself, strong, fit, and healthy. I know I was meant to be more than what I have let myself become. I will set a good example for my friends and family by showing them what's possible. I'll be able to go hiking and exploring all over the world and feel fit and healthy doing it. I'm done feeling like a wallflower, a side-kick in my own life.

Phew, it's going to take some work you guys but you know what? I'm all in.

So a bit about me in case you are still reading and want to know more. I'm 31, female, and I had actually reached my heaviest weight in 2016 which is when I started seeing a health coach and joined a gym. I had made some great progress and lost 10kgs by June 2017, but then I stalled. I have managed to maintain my weight since then with healthy meal choices but no exercise. I work full time as a personal assistant so sitting at a desk all day hasn't been very helpful, but at the same time there are a lot of things I can do outside of work to keep myself on track.

Since December 2017 I’ve been back at gym 3 days a week and next month I’m going to increase it to 4. I’ve really cleaned up my diet focusing on increasing my vegetable and lean protein intake and skipping fast food. I’m not after any quick fix, I’m in this for the long term. Not only do I want to change my mind and body I want this to be my new life.

A few of my hobbies and fandoms include; Supernatural, Buffy, Firefly, The Walking Dead (Comics), Avatar,  Everything Marvel - Black Widow is my idol. I’m one of those nerds who uses packing cubes when I travel. I love to read mostly fiction but also personal development books and comics (faves are Hulk, Black Widow, TWD). 

I’m really looking forward to being a part of this community. I do have supportive friends and family but I know I can do even better if I surround myself with awesome people who are working on themselves too.

This is super off topic for this blog, but…

I did this for about a year in college. Last night at the LGBTQ center we were talking about healthy eating and I mentioned it, and was challenged to bring in a shopping list/meal plan detailing what I had done.

What I consider Paleo: I lived on my own version of paleo, which I called “Functional Paleo.” I defined this as “no grain, no dairy, no legumes, no refined carbs, and no artificial sweeteners, flavors, or preservatives.” It is not organic, the meat is not free range, and I did not use coconut or other substitute flours for anything (except when cooking for my parents or special occasions). I bought very few things that had multiple ingredients, but didn’t concern myself too much with small amounts of soy or sugar (like in the tuna, stewed tomatoes, or condiments).

My other caveat is that I had (and continue to have) an Aldi near me. All prices cited are Aldi prices as they exist today (though prices can be similar at other value food stores like Marc’s and Save a Lot). You can actually do paleo significantly cheaper than this if you have to, but this level provided enough variety for me to not flip my kitchen table on a regular basis. This is what I did personally.

***Items listed are “Per Week” unless otherwise specified***

Protein:

Eggs- 2 dozen, about $1 (Aldi eggs cost anywhere from 20c to $1.29/dozen, usually on the lower end of that with a limit of six dozen per costomer. I used 50c/dozen here as a good average)

Meat- 2lbs of either chicken breast, stew meat, or chorizo, about $8 (get the middle-range (Never Any! brand) chicken, its the same price as the low range if you factor in that the low range has 15% broth in it by weight, which will cook out anyway).

Tuna: 2 cans, packed in water, about $1.40

Vegetables:

Sale veggie- 2 pkg, about $3 total

Cauliflower- 1 large, 1.79

Broccoli- 1 bag, 1.50

Stewed tomatoes- 2 cans, $1 total

3lb Onions- $1.50 (every other week)

3lb Sweet potatoes- $2

10lb Russet potatoes- $3 (once per month)

Fruits:

Sale fruit- 2 or 3 pkg, about $4 total

Canister Prunes or Raisins- $3 

Frozen fruit of choice- $2

Nuts:

Whole raw almonds- 1pkg, $5

Other:

Dark Chocolate- 1 large bar, $1.50

Tea- 100 tea bags, $2 (once in a blue moon)

Instant Coffee- 120 cups worth, $3 (once in a blue moon)

Olive or sunflower seed oil- $3 (once per month or so)

Salt- one large canister iodized or box kosher, $2 (literally once per lifetime)

Condiments (I excepted these from paleo rules for my own sanity) mayo, ketchup, pickles, mustard, etc…- $1-$2 per item (once in a blue moon)

Dried spices- $1 each (get a good blend for about $2-$3 at Wal Mart or collect them separately and make lots of your own $1/spice) (once in a blue moon)

Vinegar of choice- $3 (once per month or longer, depending on how much you like vinegar)

Bouillon cubes- $2.50 (once in a blue moon)

Assuming you’re starting with an utterly bare cabinet and you buy all of the “once in a blue moon” and “once per month” items on your first trip (including condiments and spices), your initial investment will probably be about $50-60. After that first week, assuming you keep to the intervals outlined here, it should average a little less than $35. 

Meal Prep Tips:

Boil most of the eggs, leave a couple for if you like fried eggs occasionally or want to make banana-egg pancakes. You can easily take boiled eggs in a lunchbox or eat them with prunes or raisins for a quick breakfast.

The prunes/raisins and almonds were and still are my go-to easy breakfast.

Grate the cauliflower- steam it with salt, oil and spices as a side later or mix it with the crumbled chorizo for a 1-bowl meal

Cook the sweet potatoes and regular potatoes ahead of time. There are lots of ways to do this and they are all delicious. They are also easy to pack in a lunch box.

Hard veggies like carrots, cauliflower, sweet potatoes, and broccoli are AMAZING when tossed in olive oil, salt, and spices and roasted or broiled.

Cook and pull the chicken (easiest in a pressure cooker but you can also boil the crap out of it too). Makes it super versatile. You can make like 10 different things with it and they will all feel different. No more plain chicken boob for you!

Stew with the stew meat, any veggies (including onions and potatoes) and spices will give you many easy future meals and can be made with just about anything you’ve got (throw the stewed tomatoes in this too).