#nekrotisch

His lone hand trailed down her back, following the nubs of her spine through his own clothes. If he had both his hands he would have trailed her into his lap where she belonged. With only the one he made do with simply enjoying the feeling of her as the kiss deepened.

They'd been here before. He blamed his own lack of self-control when it came to Cassandra. He needed her lips on his, their bodies pressed against each other, the sweet sounds she made when the passion took over. Only every time he had stopped himself. The voices in his head becoming too loud and insistant until he pulled away and tried to reign himself in.

Even now he felt the urge to break the kiss and come up with some excuse to leave. He couldn't use a shower as an excuse — though he was becoming very acquainted with cold showers to calm himself down — his hair was still damp from the one he'd taken before bed.

And the last time he'd done that he'd had his furious twin sister storm into his bathroom and give him a verbal bollocking.

Jasper broke the kiss only to breathe. He felt himself panting like he had just finished an intense training session. Was he really that out of practice? Maybe he was just needy. He accused Cassandra of that enough but he knew he was just as bad especially when it came to her.

"I need—" he started and then stopped himself.

He had a plan for how tonight was going to go and this was not it. Jasper knew he needed to talk to Cassandra. He needed to tell her that he had feelings for her. Properly. Not done when he was half-dead and being wheeled into surgery and she probably thought whatever pain meds he'd been given had made him lose his mind. He'd planned to talk to her when it was just them, alone and in bed where he felt like maybe he could open up his heart to her and she might not run away.

And now his own sex drive had fucked that up too.

I had to think long and hard about this one, mostly because the conclusion I've come to is that it's probably something in between. He's got those elf genes so there's no reason he shouldn't at least have some of the abilities those genetics provide. But for the sake of addressing him only being half elf - and let's be real, for the sake of making it more interesting for us as readers and roleplayers - I don't think it's exactly as an elf sees it.

I think he sees in shades of color, muted or neutral but not quite the greys that humans see it in. Which might be a little more unnerving and a good reason for him to dislike the Fade as much as he does, because it's almost normal but just uncanny enough to clearly be wrong and that's almost more uncomfortable than being an obviously different place.

It might explain why he has a hard time differentiating reality in the Fade sometimes (other than just sheer desperation), and it explains why he can't tell that he sees it differently than any elf or human. An elf tells him it looks perfectly normal - and it definitely doesn't - whereas a human comments on how unnatural it feels. So of course he thinks nothing of the fact that he and other humans are seeing something completely different because he has no reason to think so. Not unless somebody comments on the huge lack of color or how completely different everything appears, and then he might have a reason to question exactly what other people are seeing versus what he himself is in fact seeing. But the chances of that feel so low, especially at a point where he might take the comment to heart and really think about whether or not there is a difference.

|| munday questions

🐱 - Do you have any pets? Yes! I have a shih tzu called Gimli who is a complete BRAT and I love him to pieces, he is my baby.

🐶 - What’s your favorite animal? Already answered- it's donkeys, don't tell my little wiblet

🔥 - Is there anything you would like to promote? I would like to promote Gimli. Have another pic.

Who was your first muse? / (@aetherianxarchive / @valorcorrupt / @quiisquiliae)

i'm pretty sure i've answered a similar question at...some...point, but it was auron from ffx, and my baby ass had no business trying to write a grown ass man (this is what squeenix thought was "old" at thirty-five, y'all). this was back in the ye olden days of livejournal and greatestjournal rp, and how and why i got approached by the final fantasy house cult (if you don't know, you don't want to know, i promise) which was a ride, let me tell you.

OTP for your muse? (@intothewildsea) outside of strife? (i'd give my eyeteeth for a strife to write with.) canon-wise, probably neve or davrin, actually. with a side of zevran, but that was based on jokes and a vibe and while it counts to me, i'm not sure it does to anyone else. neve is very much the pragmatist to his idealist, and davrin is...i mean you've seen davrin, right. you've seen him. also the single dad meetcute has a vibe, you understand. in either case, it's generally people who live exciting lives (whether they intend to or not), and by extension pull him into that chaos. so i guess when you boil it down like that, my otp for emmrich is having a life outside of his weird culty bubble.

What’s one random headcanon about your muse that people mightn’t know? (@aetherianxarchive / @archaeval) emmrich's been snatching cuttings of native plants everywhere he's been in thedas and water propagating them in empty ink bottles. part of it is pure curiosity and they serve as a souvenir of the places he's been and the things he's seen, but partly it's academic curiosity, because the herbariums he's seen have been woefully under sourced and has toyed idly with creating his own in more depth once, you know, the whole stop the blighted gods business is taken care of.

TIME FOR SOME POSITIVITY! | @nekrotisch

send 🪵 and i'll say a positive thing about my own blog

[thousand yard stare] this is torture fjdkgh i think some of my headcanons are cool! i like reconstructing the idea of the dread wolf as an emblem of rebellion and how it's carried down to the dalish, that wolves have stayed consistently a symbol of toothy protection.

send 🌴 and i'll recommend a blog i haven't spoken to yet but admire from afar

@nekrotisch sent: ⤷ “ look at me. “

𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑬𝑳𝑻 𝑨𝑩𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑼𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑺𝑰𝑪𝑲 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴𝑺𝑬𝑳𝑭.      He wanted to throw himself off the side of the lighthouse and let the fade swallow him up. His hands were trembling, his skin was a sallowish hue, sickly and pale. The rosiness in his cheeks were absent, and he looked like he would be sick at any moment. He thought he was over this….and yet Lyrium's claws rarely retracted. 

It was an innocent mistake, the lyrium being left out, after all it wasn't anyone else's responsibility to handle his issues. He thought he had moved passed it--this dire need for lyrium. Before he knew it, he had it in his hands, unopened when his senses came back. When Cass' voice cut through the blue angel's song. It was a close call, too close for his liking. He fled back to his room, ashamed and his guts tightening. 

Cass came too, her hand gently cradling his face despite him breaking out in a terrible sweat. With one motion he could've ended years of painful sobriety. He let out a shaken breath and wrapped his arms around her middle, holding her close. 

❝ Thank the maker. ❞ he muttered as he tried to calm down, but his heart was racing and his breaths were shallow. ❝ Thank ye fer bein' there.❞ he couldn't help it, he buried his face in her tunic and quietly began to weep. 

@nekrotisch / unprompted. always accepting.