Neiliooooo can you tell us a funny story 🥹
Okay so I don't think this is funny but every once in a while Andrew will stare off into space and let out a lil Andrew giggle and I know this is what he's imagining 😔
So a few weeks ago I was asleep on the couch. It was Andrew's fault because he basically forces me to nap by putting on episodes of Parks and Rec and scratches my head which he 100% KNOWS will have me catatonic in less than 5. He says it's for the quiet but I'm not even loud so whatever.
Anyway so I'm asleep on the couch and in my dream I keep hearing this squeaking sound. It sounds like a sneaker on a hard wood floor so I'm like dreaming about Exy like normal. But it keeps squeaking and so I finally wake up when it's like a really loud squeal. I'm immediately on alert bc idk if you heard but someone tried to rob us and Andrew stabbed him so I thought maybe this guy is back for the fine China or some shit and I'll have to stab him this time but he wasnt. It was so much worse.
When I run into the kitchen there's definitely blood on the floor and Mads is definitely involved because he's just THERE and he's giant and fluffy like normal but he has...something. And that something was a mouse. A bloody and mangled MOUSE. That he MURDERED.
So immediately I'm horrified. I start screaming and panicking because this mouse is DEAD dead and there's nothing I can do and Andrew runs downstairs and sees it and is like MADS GOOD BOY.
GOOD BOY
The way my phone jumped in my hand to dial Abby to start divorce proceedings 😔
Before I can petition to change my last name back, Andrew's like you can't scold him for this, he's protecting our family, this is a GIFT. And like...he's kind of right. This is Mads just catting and he is a fursome beast who was making sure this mouse didn't murder us in our sleep.
So Mads is standing there now, very regal and proud with this poor mouse between his paws and I'm like literally gagging at this point. Im like MADS *hurk* GREAT JOB *uek* SO *gurgle* STRONG.
Andrew is literally guffawing at this. It does not phase him. After he sends me into the other room and cleans up the mouse he's like Neil. My love (jk he would die before saying that out loud). Why is it that I stab a guy and you're casually talking about blood in the grout but Mads kills a mouse and you're screaming like it's the most horrific thing you've seen? And this is a great question because I've seen some SHIT. I was HEIR to a THRONE OF MURDER okay but it's just how it is. A bloody person in distress is 100% fine. Find me some dental floss and a needle and I can probably fix it but an animal?
A teeny mouse?
I still see that little guy. He was so young (probably). He had so much life to live (if the chickens didn't get him).
Anyway, Andrew still thinks it's hilarious and I'm trying to just forget.
THE END -Neilio
