#need prayer

Considering moving back to Arizona. I’m in no rush to make the decision, and the soonest Odyssey move would be before Christmas next year.

Pray for guidance and CRYSTAL CLEAR instruction. No hint dropping, no guessing, no trying to match up circumstances with what I pray for. Just simple direction and confirmation of that direction. Rock solid stuff.

I’ve just felt stuck, stagnant, bored, and mostly like I’m not supposed to be here. All the things that have gone wrong point (maybe) to the idea that I’m not meant to be in the physical place, and all the dreams and hopes I once had now lay wasted away. I have no profession. I have no love life or even interests. My hobbies have lost all their joy, and whatever progress I make in any area of life just feels like, “so what?” and that progress is inevitably undone by some unforeseeable happenstance.

I just feel tired of making all the wrong choices despite trying to listen hard to what He wants from me. Maybe at least part of it is that I’ve stayed in one place for too long.

Devotion and living for God starts at the core of the heart. The core of the heart steers the reins that determine your direction.

after that experience, i felt rlly yuck inside and never thought i would be brave enough to say coming out words out loud again. i was so ashamed and dark and embarrassed. anyways this pastor has been texting me and calling me nonstop since that happened and it is giving me so much anxiety. i stopped going to his church and i have tried to avoid him at all costs. i know that it would be wrong for me to avoid him forever. i probably need to have a conversation with him but i just can’t imagine ever responding to a text or call and willing to do that. even imagining that is making me feel sick to my stomach and weak at the knees. i am just not courageous enough for conflict. i am just too weak, too sensitive. i forever run away from my problems instead of facing them straight on--JUST like my dad. 

If we live, we live to the lord; and if we die, we die to the lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the lord’s. For to this end Christ died and rose and lived again, that He might be lord of both the dead and living.

                                                                                               Romans 14:8-9

          Our daily routines may be different, but there’s one thing that we all do each morning: we look in the mirror. It’s important! We want to look our best.

           But the truth is that as the day unfolds, the worse often comes out. All of us struggle with selfishness. Making ourselves number one comes naturally to us. What is everyone’s favorite subject? Himself! Who is the first person you look for in a photograph? Yourself! Have you ever noticed that the center letter in the word sin is the letter I? We all have an “I” problem. We are selfish because we are sinful, and that is why we need Jesus.

           Back to the mirror. Each morning when we look in the mirror, it’s an opportunity to get things right on this new day. Remind yourself before you walk away from the mirror

 “This life is not about me. It’s all about Jesus.

I belong to the lord. My entire being is centered in Christ.

I surrender to Jesus so that He may live through me. Today will be an

Adventure as Christ shines through me!”