#naught rambles

Sometimes, it felt like nothing more than a dream. An oddly long, overly detailed and sometimes confusing fever dream, sure, but the point was, Mercedes Garcia woke up.

Everyone said it was a miracle she'd survived the accident, but Mercedes couldn't shake the strange flash of orange and 'so you've decided, little outsider?' that was the last thing she remembered before she opened her eyes.

It sounded fantastical, the sort of thing that happened in movies— but then, Justin Hammer's entire life seemed to have been a strange mix of Gossip Girl and comic books.

But this was the real world, where Mercedes had missed her own graduation, and now had her own astronomical hospital bills on top of rent and student loans to worry about. Not to mention her incredibly freaked out parents, who hadn't been exactly happy about her choice of college to begin with, and were now even more freaked out over the fact that she'd be moving to the on the other side of the state for it.

As if it were any different to how it'd been before the accident, when she'd been lucky to see her both parents for more than three hours a week between school, her part-time job, and helping care for Abel. The cynical part of her that she hadn't thought even existed before the accident muttered darkly about free babysitters, but she knew they cared about her. Even if they'd never really had the opportunity to show it, not when her baby brother needed everything they could give— but she had never doubted they cared about her.

It's just... Mercedes needed the distance. Like, sure, she could've gone with community college and taken things from there— but even since before the accident she'd been itching to get out. Sure, tiny shoebox apartment to tiny shoebox dorm wasn't much of a difference, but at least she got the chance to be normal for the first time since Abel had been diagnosed.

So she went to college, like almost everyone her age, and called home during the weekends, and let herself fall into the rhythm of classes and finding another part-time job and trying not to think too hard about the occasional flashes of deja vu she'd been having the entire time.

College was much easier than high school had been, and Mercedes wasn't sure how much of it was practice being on her own versus the lingering remnants of that weird dream. It made her head hurt if she tried to think about it too much— because if it hadn't just been a coma dream, then what was it?

And if she cracked open Pandora's Box, the questions would never stop. About why it'd been much easier to interact with her classmates now than back in high school, or why economics felt so intuitive. The specifics of some of the study habits she'd picked up seemingly overnight, why her patience seemed to have dried up since the accident, or, hell, how a girl who'd only ever shopped at thrift stores was able to blend in with the trust fund kids on campus. Why it'd suddenly become so easy to say no, after a lifetime of bending over backwards saying yes.

So Mercedes tried not to dwell on it. She took things one day at a time, a week at a time, called her family, and tried not to be exasperated when her roommate moved out partway through the year to live with her boyfriend.

And then things started to get really weird.

The first time it happened, she was at work. A tall, heavily muscled and tattooed man wandered into the cafe constantly checking his phone. Which shouldn't have been anything out of the usual, but he also kept looking around. A lot. She'd assumed he had planned on meeting someone, but his increased desperation as the cafe entered its rush hour told her he'd been stood up. Before she could ask if he needed help, however, he swept away without a backwards glance.

The second time, Mercedes had finished her last class of the day. A very tall cosplayer with an eye-catching leather jacket swept into the biggest lecture hall on campus just as she was heading out, and she had to swerve to avoid bumping into him because he refused to look away from his phone. Which, rude, but he was probably a new transfer for the computer science class that was scheduled to start in a few minutes so she didn't think much of it.

Not long after that, she saw a stranger during her usual grocery run. Which normally wasn't very notable, but he had the most memorable prosthetic she'd ever seen, and stared at her when she asked if he needed help. In her defense, he'd looked lost and one of her first jobs had been restocking shelves, so it really was just habit to ask!

"No, I'm...looking for someone." He finally answered with a slightly raspy voice, and she gave him a polite smile.

"Oh. Good luck, then." She said lamely, and speed-walked to the nearest self-checkout because the sooner she could forget about the embarrassment of her customer service autopilot kicking in, the better. Abel would never, ever let her live it down if he got wind of it.

The last time... was when Mercedes wondered if the stress of finals week had maybe gotten to her after all, because hallucinating portals in her bedroom was new. And that was before multiple people tumbled out of it, ruining her freshly-washed sheets in the process.

.

aaaand you can see where I ran out of steam for this.

tl;dr: Cabal, upon discovering Justin chose to sacrifice his life to obtain the Soul Stone, collectively went "fuck that, we're getting him back" and promptly set to tracking down where his soul went off to. Are they confused as to why all the sensors/Soul Stone keeps pointing them to some random universe where there's no magic or superheroes or aliens? Yes, but that's not about to stop them. [You decide if they chose to save their world before tracking Justin down, or if they ditched their universe entirely because what was the point of saving it if it didn't have Justin in it?]

There's going to be a lot of confusion at first, as Mercedes Garcia is most definitely not Justin Hammer, but I figure Cabal'd cotton on pretty quick as to what happened. And then, things get pretty dicey because there's multiple emotional bombshells to navigate, some less fun than others.

Some ideas for how it'd go from here:

Option 1: Cabal in Mercedes' World

Very introspective, with multiple emotional bombshells going on back-to-back, basically:

The "you're not our friend" realization, wherein Cabal looks at the twenty-something college student who apparently has their friend's soul but looks at them with no recognition whatsoever. This is the point where most people would leave her alone, but... we're talking about a hyperaggressive and overpowered friend group with dubious morals. So, for the sake of this thought exercise, Cabal ends up [re-]befriending Mercedes. Which leads to:

The "you're not the person who was the heart and soul of our group [but oh god I can definitely see the resemblance]" bombshell, feat. Cabal discovering just how much of tire fire Justin Hammer's mental state was, specifically because Mercedes is visibly much, much happier than he ever was. Which, as it turns out, is a very low bar, as Mercedes is a hot mess who spent the vast majority of her short life going "can't complain, my family is going through a Very Hard Time right now without me making it worse. but really, I'm Fine :)" but she definitely loves said family, and she's so optimistic it's painful to watch.

Sure, some of it could be chalked up to the fact that she's much younger than the Justin they knew, but... still that habit of always trying to help people. Of being an older sibling, a chronic mom friend, and always asking if they're hungry and offering what little a broke college student can afford.

Interspersed in this is the "you chose to abandon us/did we ever really know you?" emotional SNAFU, because there's bound to be grief and resentment over the fact that, well, a dear friend chose death over sacrificing a past life who, tbh, nobody in Cabal would've really missed in the long run. Like, by this point they know Justin was a reincarnated soul, but 1) they found this out via the Soul Stone going "hey idk what to tell you, they're the one who chose this life over the other one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ don't take it up with me", and 2) this means that, on some level, Justin chose an honestly not-great life over his friends.

On a funnier note: the "...so, now what?" moment, because, well, Cabal is not about to lose their friend again.

And here's where things get entertaining in a hurry because at some point, they're going to suggest everyone moving in together. Hey, it's practically tradition by now, Justin was the one who started it with all his safehouses! Besides, it's only logical to share space with someone you trust, more efficient and cost-effective. Only, well, Mercedes' parents are going to [understandably] freak out over the idea of their twenty-something daughter moving in with four rich men who showed up out of nowhere and are apparently asking to have her live with them rent-free. That all of said guys seem to be like twice her age does not help, and all of them are Very Very Dangerous. Ivan especially looks like a parent's worst nightmare, but none of them are the type of guy you'd want to meet in a dark alley, so...

Slightly Fun Moment Two: Tony Stark shows up sometime during this mess. Cue fireworks.

Option 2: The 'It Was All Inside Your Head' Ending

Wherein it turns out that Mercedes' life after waking up was a Soul Stone-induced dream, because it wanted Justin to know, acutely, what exactly they're giving up if they were to pick their first life. Only, Cabal barges into Justin's dreamscape to tell him he's in a coma, please wake up, and now he has to choose which life to return to.

Not when Loki’s latest trip through the branches of Yggdrasil somehow ended up with him staggering home covered in blood and ichor, hands shaking and the light only returning to his eyes hours after Justin’s best efforts.

And then Loki had found his voice and, in between sips of lukewarm tea, haltingly spoke of what he’d seen. Of a Mad Titan’s conquest, and a gauntlet equipped with two of the most powerful weapons in existence.

It had been the work of moments to put SHIELD on high alert. Even less, to kick the hornets’ nest that was the magicians on Earth via Loki ducking into their artifact storage and moving every piece of furniture a few inches to the right. But.

That still didn’t feel like enough.

Not when that still left one Infinity Stone with nothing but a huge question mark hovering over it, and the grim awareness that if nothing was done then the Mad Titan might very well come to possess three of the six Infinity Stones, and if that were to happen?

Nowhere in existence would be safe.

.

It wasn’t enough.

Advanced warning, all the magicians on Earth working together up to and including the Sorcerer Supreme and it still wasn’t enough.

As it was, they were at a stalemate, and... everyone in Cabal exchanged grim looks as they silently agreed on what they needed to do next. Even if Ivan glowered at the prospect of resorting to magic to counter this latest threat, but by now all signs pointed to the last, still-missing Soul Stone being the best counter to the Power Stone that was the main threat when it came to dealing with the Mad Titan.

.

Merely locating the Infinity Stone ended up being a challenge.

And then, when they finally succeeded?

“You should know...the Stone extracts a terrible price. A sacrifice.”

And with that, the air around Justin Hammer started to glow.

.

“Well, that’s that, then,” the Winter Soldier said with a heavy sigh. “And here I thought this couldn’t get any worse than the end of the world.”

At his side, Loki scoffed, and they both glanced back to where Victor von Doom continued to read Justin the riot act. It was the most furious any of them had ever seen him— and the most scared.

His voice had cracked at least twice, and the grip he had on Justin’s shoulders would undoubtedly bruise later, but no one blamed him. Not when even now, Justin was eyeing the ledge with far too much consideration for comfort, and that?

No one could tell how much of it was the stress of the situation, and how much was...

They’d all known Justin had Issues™— it was practically a requirement for entry into their fucked up little friend group, the one he’d created— but nothing like this. Sure, Winter sometimes made cracks about his self-preservation instincts, but. It was supposed to be just Ivan Vanko and Loki who’d had to contend with those particular demons, not—

But that didn’t change the fact that Justin Hammer had been the only one not to react to the Soul Stone’s immortal envoy.

Or, rather, the only one who hadn’t immediately scowled and said some variation of “fuck no, and fuck you too”; the only one who’d just. Stayed silent, and tilted his head, frowned in consideration, and okay, maybe it’d been an overreaction when Winter had yanked him away from the alcove with the creepy hooded figure, but nobody else was complaining.

.

The crack of a gun stole all their attention for a moment, only to see Ivan storm away from the creepy hooded figure who’d started this mess to begin with.

“I thought you were trying to get more intel, what happened?” Winter asked, and Ivan put it away with a scowl.

“I’m Russian,” Ivan deadpanned. Then, at Winter’s raised eyebrow, he continued. “And he’s one of the most famous Nazis in history.”

Winter’s eyes widened for a moment. "You’ve gotta be kidding— just when I think things can’t get any worse. Fuck, really?”

Ivan glared back towards where the figure was slowly picking himself up again, the dark stain on the his cloak receding. “I hate everything about this. And he just kept repeating that bullshit about a life for a life. And if it wasn’t that, he kept going on that the Stone wants Justin, something about how his wisdom mirrors its own? And I’m pretty sure Victor’s two minutes from going nuclear, and—”

He cut himself off because for a moment, ran a hand through his hair, and started swearing under his breath because he could deal with the potential end of the world bearing down on them, just.

Not this.

.

Justin hadn’t said a word since the Soul Stone’s envoy had mentioned the offer.

They knew it was freaking out everyone else who’d come with them, but...

They’d be a fool if they didn’t at least consider it. Even if just the thought seemed to have fired up everyone else even more than the Mad Titan’s rampage had, but someone had to, since the others insisted on acting like it was some unthinkable and impossible thing.

But death came for them all, and faced between an inevitability and an undeniable advantage...

What did the Soul Stone see in them?

Justin Hammer was no one important, not... as horrible as it sounded, it would’ve made more sense if the Soul Stone had been interested in literally anyone else in Cabal. Sure, it would’ve been a whole other brand of nightmare scenario, but at least then Justin could follow the train of thought that led to that conclusion. They could easily understand it if the Soul Stone had been intrigued by Winter’s strength, or Victor’s power; could easily see how anyone could have been caught up by Ivan’s genius, or Loki’s particular brand of chaos. But Justin?

The closest thing he had to a superpower was his bank account.

In the great scheme of things, it was nothing. They were nothing, considering they regularly interacted with superheroes and gods, were surrounded by the best of what humanity had to offer, and encompassed so much of the worst.

So why was the Soul Stone so interested in them?

And— okay, yeah, they were still avoiding the question. To be fair, though, it was not easy to keep one’s cool when faced with the prospect of either death by apocalypse, or death to obtain artifact of immense power. But at least it’d be worth it, one life weighed against the universe was nothing. It’s not that they were suicidal by any measure, exactly, but Justin had enough self-awareness to be able to take a step back and do the math.

Yet the mere suggestion of it had even Victor— calm and collected Victor, who took pride in his nonchalance and didn’t bat an eye even in the middle of assassination attempts on his life— up in arms at the idea of losing the weakest member of Cabal, and never before had Justin resented their over-protectiveness quite like now.

Really, wasn’t it a bit much?

These were normally the people he could trust to be most capable of looking at things objectively like him, able to separate emotions from the equation when weighing the cost between means and ends and collateral damage.

Sure, it was always different when hypotheticals stopped being hypothetical, but this reaction felt off, somehow; had the the rest of Cabal acting in a way that went far beyond worry for losing a useful ally. Had them more caught up on whatever it was than on thinking of alternatives, and for quite possibly the first time they could remember, they were at a loss as to how to approach this new variable.

No matter, Justin could still work with this. Somehow.

...once they got out of a certain someone’s crushing embrace, anyway.

.

“Let’s talk.”

“Your life is not up for negotiation.” Victor immediately said, eyes flashing and the ensuing conversation only went downhill from there.

.

“Well, that went well.” Justin leaned back into the outcropping with a quiet groan.

The others had unanimously chosen to put him on the closest thing they had to suicide watch, and he had no idea where to start with how to feel about it and now they weren’t even listening to him.

Just. Kept dismissing everything he said out of hand, and it would’ve been bad if it had been anyone else but this was Cabal, the people who, up until today, had always been the ones he could trust to at least take his words into consideration. Could trust in general, because they’d all seen him at his best and worst, and had never so much as flinched.

But now Victor could barely look at him without his hands shaking, and Ivan and Loki had taken to sharing increasingly unreadable looks and Winter had spent the past hour alternating between questioning and pummeling the Red Skull, who apparently had been the person selected by the Soul Stone to be its guardian.

Presumably as punishment, but Justin had yet to understand anything about it, so.

Now they were here, heavily monitored while everyone else made plans to leave and blatantly ignoring the fact that the Mad Titan was very much a pressing threat and they were just going to be leaving behind one of the cornerstones of the universe because nobody bothered to listen to them.

Justin had thought he’d gotten over that hangup from his childhood.

He was not happy to discover otherwise, especially at the end of an exhausting day, on the heels of the stress that came with the impending apocalypse and everything else.

‘It is a heavy burden, is it not?’

...and now came auditory hallucinations on top of everything else. Great.

.

This was nothing less than a nightmare.

Somehow, despite literally everyone being half a second from losing their shit and keeping an eagle eye on Justin goddamn Hammer, he still managed to give them all a heart attack.

Winter hadn’t questioned it when the man of the hour had decided to take a nap, but everyone heard his freakout when Justin didn’t wake up. A frantic check showed no signs of self-harm, but his eyes shone a brilliant gold when they checked his pupils as a last-ditch measure and now the situation was officially out of their control because nobody knew what would happen next.

All they could do now was wait, and hope, and Winter hated every second of it.

.

“Why me?” Justin asked, and he could almost feel the Soul Stone’s amusement.

‘You understand what I am, in a way few could ever dream.’

Justin called bullshit.

‘I offer respite, weary one. You carry the weight of two lives, the loss of one would be a kindness.’

Wait a minute. How had it— oh, of course, Soul Stone, no wonder it was able to see the echoes of a past they’d long since left behind to gather dust. Their deepest and darkest secret, laid bare to the one entity uniquely suited to see it. Well, now they felt foolish.

“And here I thought you called for my death.”

‘It could be, if you so chose.’

Translation: it would be, for literally anyone else. For anyone who didn’t have faded echoes of a life they’d never been able to remember, no matter how hard they’d tried. Justin Hammer had tried to put it out of mind for their own sanity after grad school, but... now that though thought about it, the more they remembered even as their headache grew worse.

A time before Justin Hammer, another life.

One with a family that actually cared, and they’d always been an older sibling but the first time it hadn’t been entirely on them because the child they’d once been had aunts and grandparents, and the nice librarian who hadn’t laughed when the stack of books they’d checked out was almost taller than they could look over, and the neighbor’s dog had always wagged his tail even faster when they were around because they knew where to scratch behind his ears, and their high school had asbestos but also the English teacher who thought their shitty poetry was worth something—

Another life, one where life hadn’t quite gotten around to stamping out their faith in humanity. Or, rather, hadn’t had the chance, even though the hospital visits and bills and part-time jobs had all been steadily chipping away at it, the despair of knowing their paycheck was barely enough for groceries but it’s all they had, since their parents’ went straight towards meds—

Another life. One that was just as much a part of them, as the decades they’d lived as Justin Hammer, and apparently both were equally appealing for the Soul Stone.

They couldn’t help but break down, at that.

In laughter, and tears, and all the layers of fear and grief and tired but still-burning desperate hope because it couldn’t be that simple, could it?

‘Peace, weary one. You have my favor.’

It could.

He’d been scared to hope, but...

“Okay then. Let’s do this.”

.

Ivan was the closest thing they had to a doctor, so he was the one who startled back with a yelp when his not-patient opened his eyes with a gasp. 

“Did it work?”

Ivan was half a second from swearing a blue streak, but his attention was caught by the dazed look on his friend’s face.

“You— what did you do?!”

Because before he could even start on his well-deserved rant about stupidly self-sacrificial idiots, Justin unclenched his fists and in his right palm was the unmistakable golden glow of what could only be the Soul Stone.

Justin looked at him and made to respond, only to pause.

“I... you know what? I don’t actually remember.” He looked around with a vaguely confused frown. “Where are we, anyway?”

.

aka this is the AU where Justin gets an Infinity Stone, gives Cabal several heart attacks, and ends up losing the echoes of his past life [...and a good chunk of his childhood memories, because of how much the echoes were part of it].

All in all, Vormir’s technically a net gain in that taking down Thanos is fairly straightforward afterwards, but nobody in Cabal’s ever going to so much as speak of it. It doesn’t help that no one quite gets what exactly went down, since Justin’s still alive but his memories are a mess for a while afterwards, and now there’s an Infinity Stone that randomly pops up around him. Just. Spontaneously shows up in desk drawers, behind the mug he was about to drink, by his keys and he rolls with it but it really freaks most of Cabal out for obvious reasons.

I don’t picture it really affecting Justin, though. Mostly because the other Infinity Stones are being basically deus ex machina plot devices, but the Soul Stone’s presented as this very very Mysterious Mystical Artifact in what I remember of the MCU, instead of the plot device that can be used as a weapon of mass destruction.

Since my brain refuses to let go of this idea, I figure the main offensive potential the Soul Stone has is basically curses like “may you feel all/a fraction/a sliver of the harm you have or ever will inflict on others” and “may you never know a day of peace”, which sounds probably underwhelming but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve got nothing else. Plus I figured it’d be fitting, because stuff like that would be a non-issue for most people, but devastating for a bloodthirsty conqueror-type character like Ronan the Accuser or whatever.

hey if the Mind Stone’s whole schtick is mind control, this sounds vaguely plausible, right?