maybe this is the kind of live i've been looking for
lately, i’ve been thinking a lot about how different life feels when you finally step away from the noise.
most days, i’m constantly moving.
work in the morning. responsibilities waiting when i get home. a little one who needs me. groceries, cleaning, laundry, meals, errands, and all those tiny things that somehow become a full-time job of their own.
and somewhere in between taking care of everyone else, i’m trying to remember to take care of myself, too.
sometimes i wonder what it would feel like to just… stop.
not forever.
just long enough to breathe.
then i look at pictures like these and i understand why i’m so drawn to the mountains.
there’s something about colorado that feels completely different from everyday life.
the mountains don’t rush.
the rivers don’t rush.
the trees don’t rush.
even the moose in this picture looks like he has absolutely nowhere to be.
meanwhile, i’m over here mentally making a list of everything i need to do tomorrow.
maybe i need to take notes from him.
rest first. responsibilities later.
but honestly, i think that’s what i’m craving.
a slower kind of life.
a morning where i don’t immediately think about what needs to be cleaned.
an afternoon where i can sit beside a lake without checking the time.
a walk where i’m not walking because i need to get somewhere — i’m walking because i want to.
a quiet evening where the only thing i hear is the river moving over the rocks.
i spend so much of my life being mom, being an employee, being the person who remembers things, handles things, fixes things, and keeps going.
and i love being there for the people i love.
but sometimes, i miss being just me.
the girl who wants to wander around a mountain trail.
the girl who wants to sit somewhere pretty with a book.
the girl who wants to drink coffee somewhere surrounded by trees.
the girl who wants to look at a huge mountain and think, holy crap, i’m really lucky to be alive.
i think that version of me is still here.
she just gets buried underneath responsibilities sometimes.
and maybe that’s why these mountains feel so comforting.
they remind me that i don’t have to be productive every second to have a meaningful life.
i don’t have to constantly prove that i’m doing enough.
i can pause.
i can breathe.
i can admire something beautiful simply because it’s beautiful.
and maybe someday, when my little one is older and life gives me a little more room to breathe, i want to take more trips like this.
maybe pack a small bag.
grab some snacks.
bring my camera.
find a quiet trail.
let my kid run around and explore.
and for once, not worry about whether the house is clean or whether i have somewhere else i need to be.
just us.
the mountains.
the trees.
the water.
and a little bit of peace.
because i think motherhood has taught me something important:
you can love your life and still need a break from it.
you can be grateful and exhausted at the same time.
you can love being a mom and still miss the person you were before motherhood.
you can be strong and still want somewhere safe and quiet to rest.
and you can want more for yourself without being ungrateful for what you already have.
so maybe my dream isn’t really to escape my life.
maybe i just want to build a life where i don’t constantly feel like i need to escape.
a life with more mornings like this.
more mountains.
more fresh air.
more books.
more coffee.
more spontaneous little adventures.
more moments where my kid gets to see the world outside our everyday routine.
and more moments where i get to see it too.
for now, i’ll keep saving these little pieces of the mountains in my camera roll.
maybe they’re reminders.
maybe they’re dreams.
or maybe they’re simply proof that there’s still a whole world out there waiting for me.
and one day, i’ll be standing beside one of these lakes instead of just looking at the picture.
i’ll take a deep breath, look at my kid, look at those mountains, and think:
“we made it here.”
and honestly?
that would be enough.
