#natsuchou

My submission for @natsume-ss for: @kr0ffie

Merry Christmas!!! I had a blast drawing them. This is based off the Volume 25 cover:)

Notes: Written for Femslash February 2026 — Day 16: Dull, from those prompts!

The prompt was "dull" but tbh "kiss" would have probably fit better 😭 This story really made me notice I'm pretty bad at writting makeout sessions 😔

Content Warnings: There are some brief non-consentual kissing — first when Souko kisses Reiko impulsively, and another when Reiko thinks about a boy kissing her as a bet. There's also mentions of child neglect/abuse because of Reiko's life situation, but nothing described.

* * *

There was nothing in life that Reiko Natsume hated more than boredom.

Most other things she hated, she could at least find some entertainment in it if she tried hard enough. Humans could be useful. Yokai could be funny. School and homework could teach her some stuff.

But there was nothing to gain from boredom. The only thing to do with it was find some mean to chase it away. Sometimes, she felt like she was spending the entirety of her life doing exactly that — chasing away boredom.

Desperately trying to find a spark to her life, a burst of light, anything, that could potentially makes it less dull.

Souko Morinaga was a strange phenomenon — because at first glance, she really seemed like the kind of person Reiko would hate: the boring type. She was plain-looking; average in height, in weight, not all that pretty but not all that ugly either. She was quiet and unassuming; nothing about her, be it in appearance or personality, really stood out.

But that was at first glance. Because Souko was a plain and quiet girl who, for some reason, decided to hang out in a forest in the middle of nowhere on her own. Who decided to keep chasing and talking to the weird, off-putting, cold girl who, by all means, she should’ve feel creeped out by. Who randomly decided to challenge said girl to a bunch of games, and even when it was clear she would never be able to win, who kept trying.

She kept trying. That was the thing with Souko: she kept trying, over and over, against all odds. Behind her plain appearance, there was a strange strength and determination hidden within her that Reiko couldn’t help but be intrigued by; something that managed to keep boredom at bay whenever they were together, because Souko always found some way to surprise her.

And, alas, that was also how Reiko had found herself in this stupid predicament.

“I did it… I finally won…”

Souko was all flushed, a bewildered look on her face — like she could barely believe she’d finally reached her goal.

And technically, she didn’t. The only reason Reiko had lost was because she’d gotten distracted by that yokai. But it wasn’t like Reiko could explain that to her — she was way too aware by now that trying to explain how a yokai was the cause of her losing a game would get her accused of lying and cheating.

But she also just didn’t want to. What would be the point in trying to drag this out? Her pride? Fairness? No, it was best to finally put the whole thing to rest, she decided.

“Now will you tell me your name…? I…” Souko stared straight into Reiko’s eyes, that same, resolute force emanating from her in a way that made Reiko suffocate. She couldn’t stand to look at Souko’s eyes when she did that. “I want to be your friend.”

Of course. She wanted to the ‘friend’ of the mysterious, weird forest girl she’d kept playing odd games with this entire time.

She’d never want to be the ‘friend’ of Reiko Natsume, though.

Reiko knew that moment was going to happen at some point. She’d been stupid, really, to keep delaying it that way. She didn’t know why she did that. She should’ve told Souko her name when she started talking about the rumors she’d heard about her. She should’ve told her her name before that — from the start.

Maybe she shouldn’t have spoken to that girl at all to begin with. It would’ve been saved her so much grief.

No, none of that mattered. It was the end, anyway. That wasn’t like her to get pressed over ridiculous things. She’d never hoped for anything to start with. She truly didn’t. There was no point.

No point.

So Reiko, her heart hammering in chest, let out a sigh, opened her mouth, and said: “R—”

“Wait!”

Souko gasped. She looked… shocked, as if she hadn’t expected to object like that. As if that had been instinctual. Reiko stared at her, baffled.

“U-uh, sorry, I…” Troubled, Souko fidgeted, her cheeks flushed. “A-actually… I changed my mind.”

Reiko blinked. “What?”

“I… changed my mind. I don’t want… don’t want you to tell me your name as reward anymore. Uh… l-let’s switch it to something else.”

Reiko… didn’t know how to react to this. She’d spent the whole time preparing herself, mustering the strength to finally admit to that secret she’d kept so close to her heart, and now… now Souko didn’t want it anymore? What?

She observed Souko, who looked so incredibly flustered and confused, and thought, ah. Maybe she’d realized it, too. That once Reiko would tell her her name… something would be different. Something she wouldn’t be able to withstand, maybe.

Then did Souko preferred to keep lying, after all? To keep pretending?

Maybe that girl was as much a coward as Reiko was.

“So you don’t want to be my friend anymore?” Reiko asked, and she knew her voice verged on the mean side, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“N-no! Of course not… It’s just…” Souko bit her lower lip, apparently at a loss for words. Then suddenly she widened her eyes, as if an idea crossed her mind; although strangely enough, her cheeks became even more flushed. “Ah! I-I just… decided to change my reward this time. Yeah, that’s it. Your name… Your name can be for the next.”

So she thinks we’re just going to keep playing those games like usual after that? Reiko wondered, and she didn’t know why the idea annoyed her. The wave of relief that washed over her also pissed her off, though it was more directed at herself than Souko.

But fine. Whatever. She could go with that.

“Alright,” Reiko said. “So what new reward do you want, then?”

Souko winced. Her gaze fell on the ground, and she kept pulling on her fingers, shifting her weight on each of her feet; Reiko couldn’t imagine what reward idea she had in mind that would stress her out this much.

At least not until she raised her head toward Reiko, and there it was again — that look made of steel, of pure determination, the one Reiko couldn’t look away from.

Then Souko stepped forward, stopping right in front of Reiko—

And leaned in to kiss her on the lips.

* * *

When Reiko woke up that morning, she felt numb and sore, as if she’d spent the whole night running around or getting beat up. Which was something she’d experienced often, but that she definitely knew had not happened yesterday.

It took her some time to get out of her futon — which wasn’t even a real futon, because her current foster family hadn’t bothered to give her one and it always left her back aching. She was alone in the room she shared with the other two kids of the house. They were both younger than her, in middle school, and judging by the sun slipping through the window, they probably had already left.

They hadn’t woken her up. They never did.

She rose up, and quietly looked around the house. No one was here. That surprised her a little. The adults didn’t like leaving her here alone, because they were afraid she might break or stole things. Not a wrong assumption either, as Reiko did do that occasionally.

Sometimes it was because of yokai. And sometimes it was on purpose. She’d come to the realization, years ago, that it didn’t matter how hard she tried to be a ‘good’ girl, people had already made up their minds about her. So at that point, why not act like the delinquent they thought she was? There was no difference anyway. Reiko always tried to keep a low profile and avoid drawing attention to herself, but if she was hungry and knew nobody would feed her, she had no qualms about stealing a few bills here and there.

She looked at the clock. It was nine o’clock, not that late. If she ran to school now, she might not miss class by much.

But she didn’t want to. Keeping attendance had not been high on the list of her priorities. Honestly, now that she was fifteen, the idea of dropping out of school and finding a job often crossed her mind. It would be better than continuing to be shuffled from one foster family to another. She knew there was no future for her in school; her grades were terrible, and she was so behind she felt she might as well redo her whole middle school years. It was a miracle she’d graduated at all. So getting through the entirety of high school would feel like a feat; she couldn’t even project herself anywhere beyond that, because she knew she’d never have the money for university.

But none of that mattered to her. She’d never tried to project herself in the future period; just lived her life in the present, see where her days were taking her, if they were taking her somewhere at all.

Reiko didn’t bother to brush her hair (they were going to end up a mess anyway) and put on her uniform. Even if she wasn’t going to school, it was the best thing she had — all of her few other clothes were either too big or too short or full of holes — and then set off outside.

Reiko never really had much of a destination in mind when she was outside. She walked on and on, looking around, observing people and yokai alike while trying to see if she could find something a little bit interesting and doing her best to not attract attention. And if she did draw attention, she quickly dipped out to the most isolated places possible. Away from anyone potentially annoying.

Reiko wasn’t scared of humans and yokai. She just didn’t want to have to deal with them. For the most part, she really tried her best to avoid as much trouble as possible, unless it was necessary.

Her routine changed ever since she started hanging out with Souko, though. Instead of wandering around with no destination in mind, she headed straight into their forest. Souko would still be at school at that hour, of course, so Reiko explored the surroundings, avoiding the yokai as much as possible. She’d catch the ayakashi that looked like a big, fluffy blob with two round black eyes — she’d dubbed them Pyonpyon — and they exchanged a few words sometimes. Pyonpyon was weird and a little clingy, which bothered her (clingy yokai were always bad news) — but at least they seemed nice… for now. She still didn’t entirely trust them. She’d met too many yokai who might seem ‘nice’ at first transform into absolute monsters hellbent in eating her, or doing worse things.

Meeting Souko here bothered her more and more though. This forest was dangerous. Thankfully for now most of the yokai had been relatively uninterested in them, but Reiko could tell a lot of them were starting to get intrigued by the two humans playing around in their home every afternoon. She wasn’t sure how to redirect Souko elsewhere without seeming suspicious though…

She stopped walking when she noticed a blue flower at her feet. She raised her head, and indeed in front of her was the field of blue flowers she’d found a while ago.

It was beautiful, as always. Like a scene from a fairy tale. Reiko had seen quite a lot of gorgeous landscapes, maybe the only advantage of moving around a lot — but even so, none ever had the same surreal charm as this one.

Her chest clenched. A part of her had decided that… if Souko didn’t reject her once she heard her name, she would bring her here afterwards. But in the end, she still hadn’t been able to tell her…

She was surprised at just how badly she wanted to bring Souko here. She shouldn’t care so much about it, really, but just trying to imagine Souko’s expression upon seeing the field — the way her brown eyes would widen in surprise and delight, how she would gasp, blue petals getting stuck in her short dark hair — made her… strangely excited and happy.

And then she felt silly. She couldn’t explain why she was so fixated on that girl, and it pissed her off. She wished she could just cut ties with her already and finally move on with her life. Why was she still…

The events of the previous day suddenly flashed through her mind. The way Souko had looked under the rain after she’d stopped Reiko from saying her name. Her steady, determined gaze. Her leaning forward… and her kissing her lips.

She’d put almost no pressure at all on that kiss. Nothing more than a peck, really. And yet it had tingled and burnt Reiko’s lips, as if she’d eaten away her entire mouth. Souko had blushed a deep scarlet after that, excused herself and ran way as quick as possible, while Reiko had stayed there, stuck under the rain, completely flabbergasted.

Why on earth had Souko done something like that? Even now, Reiko was baffled. She wasn’t stupid, she knew what kisses — and kisses on lips, specifically — meant. She’d seen couples do it in the streets, on TV, in books. It wasn’t even the first time someone had kissed her. In middle school, boys had fun bullying her — and once, one of them had the good idea of betting they wouldn’t be brave enough to kiss the school’s creepiest girl. So the boldest guy of the bunch did exactly that.

Reiko couldn’t care less. She was used to being talked about and gawked at like a strange creature instead of a real human being, and frankly she didn’t think kisses were that important. It was just pressing lips against other lips. Big deal. The huge romantic idea people attached to it made her roll her eyes, and she had no interest in it.

Had that kiss just been a bet on Souko’s part too, a stupid challenge? To see if she could freak out the weird forest girl she’d been hanging out with for weeks now? Had she figured out she was Reiko Natsume and tried to mess around with her?

Souko wasn’t like that. Reiko knew this… or at least, she wanted to believe she wasn’t like that. But what would be the other explanation?

Her heart was beating faster and faster the more she tried to make sense if this mess and it got on her nerves, so she decided to stop. She would see Souko in a few hours. She’d see what she would do then. And she would be prepared regardless of what would happen, she was certain of it.

Except that Souko didn’t come in a few hours. She didn’t come at all today.

She didn’t come the day after that either. Nor the day after. Nor the day after that.

She was starting to lose hope(?) after the third day, feeling ridiculous and now convinced this whole kiss thing had truly been an elaborate joke that Reiko had been stupid enough to fall for, until she saw a silhouette ran toward their meeting spot from afar, waving her arm desperately.

“Oh thank god!” Souko exclaimed. “You’re here— I-I— was… I was so worried you wouldn’t be here…”

Souko was panting heavily and nearly collapsed to the ground as she reached Reiko. From all evidence, she’d ran as quickly as she could to get here.

“H-hey… Are you okay?”

“I’m so sorry!” Souko said, raising her head to stare straight into Reiko’s eyes, her cheeks flushed. “I-I got sick the other day, because of the rain, I think, and, and… I wasn’t able to get out of bed because of that, I had this big fever, and my dad was so worried, so— so—”

“It’s fine, I get it, honest,” Reiko replied, placating her.

She hated how relieved she felt to hear those words, but... It hadn’t been a joke. Souko hadn’t led her on this whole time, she was serious, and she’d wanted to see her…

Wait. Did that mean she’d been serious about the kiss too?

Souko straightened up, sweating and blushing. Reiko wondered if she was still a little sick, and thought about maybe sending her back home; but then Souko kept going on about how happy she was to see her and looking so honest about it that Reiko wasn’t able to open her mouth at all.

So Souko stayed, and then they played together, as usual. A game of hide-and-seek, this time. Reiko was ‘it.’ She found Souko five minutes into their match. Maybe it had been a little unfair, given Reiko knew the forest much better than Souko; but well, Souko had been the one to choose that game.

Souko pouted cutely, as she often did whenever she lost. “Guess I won’t get your name today either,” she mumbled.

“You could have gotten it the other day.”

Maybe Souko suddenly remembered what she’d done the other day, because she flushed red and looked away. “Th-that’s true…”

They kept quiet for a while. Reiko wanted so badly to ask her about the kiss, but then the next moment, Souko pulled out the blue candy she always gave Reiko whenever she won.

“Here,” she said with a shy smile on her lips. “It’s your win.”

Reiko peeled off the paper then put the candy into her mouth, sucking it off slowly. Just as she was about to swallow it whole, an idea — a very stupid, very very bad idea — suddenly popped off in her head.

She couldn’t force Souko to talk about the kiss if she didn’t want to. However…

“What if I want another reward today?” she said carefully. “Would that be okay with you?”

Souko looked surprised. “Another reward? Um… sure? What do you want?”

“You’d be okay with anything? No matter what?”

She didn’t know why she insisted so much about this, especially when Souko herself didn't ask her permission before kissing her the other day. Not that it had bothered Reiko, but somehow she felt a little bad to do the same to Souko.

She knew what it was like to have people touch and grab and kiss and pull at your body without consent, as if you were nothing but a doll, and she didn’t want to do that to Souko of all people.

Souko became scarlet from head to toe, and Reiko wondered if she'd already guessed her intentions.

“Y-yes,” she said, and then added: “If it’s you, I don’t mind. You can do whatever you want to me.”

Reiko almost winced. That felt like putting way too much trust into someone you’d barely known for a few months. Even so... if she was sure...

She stepped forward in front of Souko, up until her face was only an inch away from the other girl's. They were so close their noses almost touched. Reiko had never seen her face — or anyone else’s face, for that matter — so close before. When she’d kissed her the other day, it had been so quick and impulsive, Reiko hadn’t have the time to really observe it.

Reiko had always thought Souko was a rather plain girl, but now, looking at her so close — her skin patchy and pale, her eyes round and brown with dark circles, her nose small and her lips thin and chapped — she was surprised to find her rather cute. Carefully, hesitantly, she cupped her cheek and felt Souko shiver.

“I’m, uh,” she suddenly said, blushing furiously, “I’m— I’m… I might still be a little sick… I could pass it on to you…”

“You won’t. I never get sick.”

Souko muttered a little ‘oh,’ and then, oddly enough, she closed her eyes. Somehow, this made Reiko pause a little. She felt so vulnerable like that in her hands, like Reiko could truly do everything she wanted with her. And Souko would let her, too. She believed that wholeheartedly.

There must be truly something wrong with this girl, to let someone like Reiko touch her that way, to put so much trust in her.

That’s because she still doesn’t really know who you are, a little voice whispered in her ear, she still doesn’t know your name—

Reiko leaned in and kissed Souko.

She’d never done this before — not willingly, not with such intent — so she felt a little awkward. She tilted her head and pressed her lips against Souko’s in a way she hoped felt right, trying to reproduce how she’d seen it in movies and in the streets. She’d never wondered before if there was a right way to kiss someone, or if it even was something you had to learn — but right then she felt strangely anxious, as she tried to fit the shape of her lips against the other girl’s, like a weird puzzle. Souko opened her mouth a little bit, and Reiko wasn't sure if it meant she was doing okay at it. At least she wasn't trying to pull away, she supposed.

Her lips were dry, thinner than Reiko’s and cracked, but that didn’t bother her. The kiss lasted a little longer than Souko’s first, was a little deeper. When Reiko finally pulled away, she wasn’t out of breath or anything; so it mustn’t have been that long.

Souko looked like she had trouble breathing, though, but Reiko wasn’t sure if it was because of the kiss or something else. She couldn’t look at her, fixing the ground instead, her face beat red and her hands clinging to her uniform. Reiko felt almost bad for her. Maybe it had been a bad idea after all.

“You good?” she asked.

“H-hmm-mh.”

Well, okay then. Reiko scratched her head, then said, “Uh, maybe we should go.”

“Y-yeah…”

They started walking side by side, heading out of the forest. The sun was setting already. Neither of them said a word.

Why had Reiko done that? She wasn’t sure. Maybe she wanted to see what would be Souko’s reaction. See what she would do, if she were the one to kiss her this time. Payback of a sort.

Yeah, that was it.

Then another thought crossed her mind.

“Did you taste it?” she asked. Souko looked at her curiously. “The candy. I ate it before we, you know… Could you taste it?”

“Oh, uh…” Souko frowned, then shook her head. “No…”

Reiko hummed. “Too bad. Guess we’ll have to test that again, huh.”

She didn’t see Souko’s reaction to that, but she was fairly certain she heard her gasp.

* * *

Souko came back the next day, of course. And she lost, as usual. Reiko supposed there wouldn’t be a fluke like what had happened the other day, unless another yokai decided they wanted to play a prank on her.

Souko didn’t look all that sad she’d lost, though.

As soon as Reiko’s victory was announced, the two girls locked eyes once more. Souko was a little red, but she didn’t seem as embarrassed as yesterday. She gave her the usual candy, Reiko ate it, and then without much warning Reiko leaned in again to kiss her on the lips.

This time, she thought she did it better. A bit more self-assured, steadfast in her movements. Souko followed through much more confidently too.

Then it ended, they didn’t speak about it, and parted ways.

It became their new routine. They would meet, play their match, Reiko would win and kiss her. She did it the day after and after and after, slowly getting the hang of it.

Reiko still didn’t think kissing was that big of a deal. But she had to admit that it wasn’t bad, either. She could get why couples did it so often; it felt good, after all. Feeling Souko’s lips on her own, tasting her briefly, sometimes hearing her gasp or moan a little — and knowing she was the one doing that to her — was oddly… comforting and pleasurable. Their kisses were never all that deep nor did they last that long, but it had become part of their daily lives as much as the games at that point.

Reiko liked that. And she thought Souko did as well, given she’d stopped pouting whenever she lost and instead seemed almost eager to be defeated.

They never spoke about it, though. It was like a silent agreement that they couldn't. Talking about the kisses would mean talking about what they meant, and neither of them were ready to face that.

At least, Reiko wasn’t ready to face that.

“I won!”

Souko smiled, then looked up toward Reiko, her eyes bright and shiny and her cheeks flushed in happiness.

“I really won!” she repeated, staring at Reiko eagerly, as if she expected her to contest her victory.

Reiko could, in theory, contest it. They’d been playing Hanafuda, and had been pretty tight the whole game; but right at the final round Reiko had gotten distracted by Pyonpyon — again — which had gotten Souko her victory. At this point, Reiko was almost suspecting Pyonpyon was doing it on purpose; for some reason, the ayakashi seemed oddly invested in her relationship with Souko in a way that half-creeped her out. So, this time again, Souko’s win might not have entirely been fair — but truthfully, Reiko felt it would also be unjust to protest the win, even if Souko had been able to understand her situation. It felt too much like being a sore loser, and while Reiko wasn’t above cheating from times to times, she could absolutely accept a loss gracefully.

And she’d never want to cheat or be a sore loser against Souko, anyway.

“You sure did,” she said instead, grinning, while letting the cards fall on the ground where she’d been sitting in front of Souko. “Congratulations. So what’s your reward this time?”

Souko smiled, but then her joy at winning seemed to fade away a little. Maybe she remembered what her prize for winning was. Reiko’s name.

They stared at each other. Reiko prepared herself; but when Souko ended up asking no questions, she wasn’t all that surprised. Souko was just like her after all, it seemed. She wanted to know Reiko’s name, but she was scared of the consequences and what this would mean for them.

So instead she choose the easy way out: she steeled her face, and crawled up to Reiko. Once she was right in front of her, she cupped Reiko’s cheek in one of her hand and pressed her lips against hers, just like she did all those weeks ago under the rain.

Given Reiko always won, Souko never took the initiative in their kisses like that. She always only followed Reiko’s lead. This time, however, not only Souko took the lead but she was also particularly assertive; the way she crashed her lips against hers a little desperately, deepening their kiss — then suddenly grabbing Reiko’s shoulders and pushing her over.

They fell on the ground, Souko on top of Reiko, her long silver hair spreading all around them on the ground. If Reiko had been any other girl, she probably would’ve been pissed off at getting her hair and clothes dirtied like this. But she was rather used to it and always looked messy most of the time anyway, so maybe Souko knew her well enough by now to realize this.

Reiko felt amused; so she waited, staring straight at Souko, whose face was hanging only a few centimeters away from her own. Souko was frowning a little, hesitating, as if she was unsure of her own impetuousness.

Reiko grinned. “Well?” she asked. “If you’re not going to do anything, I’m leaving. You’re too weak to hold me down this long.”

A firm stubborn gleam took root in Souko's eyes, as if she’d taken Reiko’s provocation as another one of their challenges, and she leaned in, pressing their lips together once more. This kiss was much more passionate than anything they’d ever done before, to the point Reiko quickly found herself breathless and felt Souko’s tongue press tentatively against her lips. Reiko let her enter her mouth without protest, and she had to be careful not to moan. Souko’s hand grabbed some of her hair, nails grazing her scalp. Reiko felt warm all over and strangely dizzy, an odd new sensation she’d never experienced before, and for a few seconds it almost seemed like she and Souko were going to melt together.

Suddenly, it scared her; the intensity and intimacy. It was as if she was losing control of her body, her mind getting taken over by something else that was seeking warmth and love and desire.

That couldn’t be her. Reiko wanted none of those things. And if there was one thing she couldn’t stand, it was losing control of herself.

The thought gave her a chill. She almost stopped and pulled away, but Souko was holding onto her hair so strongly it was hard to. She did find the strength to push her away, however, when she caught sight of a white, fluffy thing hovering not far from them.

“Pyonpyon?!” Reiko jumped up instantly, making Souko stumble away on the ground with a shriek. “Are you kidding me? Get the hell out of here!”

All flushed and her hair a mess, Reiko glared at the feeble yokai who trembled at her glare. And Pyonpyon wasn’t alone too! Although they’d hurried to get away as soon as Reiko had raised her voice, she could clearly see an entire flock of ayakashi who’d likely been observing them behind the trees.

Great. So those yokai were not only potentially dangerous — they were voyeurs, too. She really, really needed to get herself and Souko out of there, otherwise she’d never be able to keep on doing...

Keep on doing... what? Make out in the middle of the forest?

The thought sounded so stupid. Seriously, what was Reiko doing, lately? What was she doing with that girl?

“Pyon… Pyonpyon?” Reiko heard Souko’s small voice behind her and winced. “What… did you see someone?”

Souko was looking left and right. She seemed confused, but not angry or afraid, despite how brusquely Reiko had pushed her away and suddenly cried out at nothing.

Really, it was like Reiko could do anything and Souko would just accept it. Act weird, scream at her, push her… kiss her. She never wavered; always came back, no matter what.

Maybe if Reiko was any other person, she could be happy about it. Take it as proof she’d finally found another human who would be her friend, who would stay by her side no matter what, no matter who she was.

But instead, Reiko couldn’t help but find Souko’s utter acceptance and devotion creepy and ominous.

* * *

Their game-and-reward system sure was convenient.

They could just play and kiss and then move on with their day, without having to justify any of this or acknowledge it at all. They could kiss without being lovers, without having any kind of feelings attached to it, because it was just a fun little recompense; just like they could spend every afternoon playing games together without having to be actual friends.

Reiko was fine with that. She liked having no attachment; having unconnected relationships. No ties, no obligations. No one owed her anything and so she owed nothing to no one. That was how she’d always lived her life and how she intended to keep it.

But a part of her could tell, that the more the days passed, the less Souko was satisfied with that.

She wanted to learn her real name and be her real friend. And she… she probably wanted to talk about all the kisses, too. She’d tried to do it a handful of times, actually; but Reiko had always managed to evade the topic.

Still, it wasn’t surprising that this wouldn’t last, and that things would boil to a point of no return. Reiko knew it would happen from the moment she came back to play games with Souko. Nothing lasted forever.

So one day, after another game of hide-and-seek, the girls ended up venturing a little too far into the forest, away from their usual hanging spots. Reiko wasn’t worried; she knew her way well now around these woods, but she still didn’t want to linger too long in case they’d get ambushed by some yokai, especially as it would be night soon.

When they finally managed to get out, Reiko’s hand clasped tightly around Souko’s so that she wouldn’t lose her, Souko squealed in delight and admiration.

“That’s amazing! You really do know this forest by heart!”

Reiko smirked. “You thought I was lying?”

“Maybe a little,” Souko admitted with a sheepish smile. “I mean, it’s such a big forest…”

“I’m hurt. To think you’d ever doubt a single one of my words.”

Souko’s smile turned fond, her eyes warm. “Yeah, I was wrong. Forgive me?”

“Not sure if I—”

Before Reiko could say anything else, Souko pressed her lips against hers.

It was a brief, sweet kiss. Something chaste and cute, frankly a far cry from the type of deeper kisses they’d gotten to do in the past few weeks.

But it made Reiko’s heart stop in her chest.

“Thank you for getting us out of there,” Souko said, but as soon as she looked at Reiko, her smiled faded and she paled.

Maybe she realized she’d done a mistake.

Reiko's body tensed, her face froze like a stone, and she stared at Souko with hollow eyes.

“Why did you do that?” she asked, the words sounding cold even to her own ears.

“Wh-why…” Souko stuttered, all flushed as she stepped back a little, clearly avoiding Reiko’s gaze; and a part of Reiko felt a little bad about it, truly, but her brain couldn’t bother to care at this moment.

“Why did you kiss me?”

Souko looked up at her, mouth hanging open. Reiko could tell it took her a while to form a coherent thought. She finally seemed to pull herself together after shaking her head, a determined frown on her face.

“What you mean, why did I kiss you?” she asked, sounding almost offended. “We’ve been kissing all the time for the past weeks! Past months, even!”

“Because of the games!” Reiko snapped back. “Because of the rewards! Right now, you just—”

“Really? Do you really think that? Did you really do all that just because of the games?”

Reiko wanted to look away, but Souko’s stare was so intense, so fierce, that she felt unable to flee, paralyzed. Her mind blanked. She could not form a single thought or sound.

Souko’s expression softened, and then, in a small, quiet voice, she added: “It wasn’t just because of the games for me. I just…” Her hand trailed toward Reiko, and she tentatively grabbed some of her fingers. “I really, honestly wanted to kiss you.”

Reiko wanted to push Souko away; get angry and yell at her and scratch at her round face so that it’d hurt, because that wasn’t fair. Souko was breaking their code, right now; the unspoken oath they’d agreed upon. They couldn’t talk about the kisses. They couldn’t. And yet—

Something climbed up from Reiko’s stomach all the way up her throat, and the only way for her to prevent it from getting out was to let go of Souko’s hand and step as far away she could from the other girl.

“Well, too bad,” she said, her voice hoarse, “because I didn’t.”

And then, before seeing even a glimpse of Souko’s expression, before her unwavering gaze could pin her in place and force her to stay here even longer, she turned around and fled as quick as she could. Souko could run surprisingly fast despite her weak condition — but she’d never been able to beat Reiko. She simply wasn't as strong as her.

Almost nobody was, because Reiko was in a league of her own; an existence above humans and yokai alike, living between two worlds never meant to touch — and that suited her perfectly.

She didn’t need any ties; she didn’t need a friend; she didn’t need someone to kiss her, not like that, not so gently.

That just wasn’t fair of Souko to expect that of her.

* * *

Reiko stopped going to the forest.

In the days that followed, she simply went to school quietly; then after that hanged out in some new fields, new abandoned temples she’d never been to before; and finally came home late in the night after everyone had already eaten to steal from the fridge then fall into her not-futon while being careful not to wake up the other kids she shared the room with.

Reiko never exactly lived a happy life before, but how depressed and miserable she felt ever since her confrontation with Souko was still a new low.

She had to force herself to get up in the morning, could barely eat anything at all, didn’t have the energy to do pretty much anything. Even stirring up trouble with yokai had lost its fun; everything seemed so… boring.

Worse, her mind just always ended up jumping back to Souko. She wondered what games they would play if they were together, how Souko would react every time she saw something interesting in the street, what she could possibly do at that moment...

She wondered if Souko still kept coming back to their meeting spot.

Probably not. After how she’d told her off the other day, why would she even bother?

Reiko didn’t even understand why she’d said she ‘wanted’ to kiss her the other day. It made no sense.

Reiko didn’t want to make sense of it.

A sudden knock against her window made Reiko jump in surprise.

It was still morning. The other kids had gone to school, and their parents to work; so Reiko was alone in the house right now. Her foster family’s acquaintances should know that; and there was not a single person around who would ever bother to try to contact Reiko. So it was with no surprise when she opened the window that the weirdest looking bird she’d ever seen — orange and pink with scales instead of feathers and a huge, frowning oni mask for a head — slipped inside.

Damn it. She shouldn’t have done that. If this thing were to curse her or the house—

“Reiko Natsume! Reiko Natsume!” the thing yelped, startling Reiko.

“How do you know my name?”

“Soranome! Soranome told me!”

“What? Who the hell is—”

“Soranome wants you back! Human still here! Human still here! Sick, but still here! For you! Soranome says!”

Reiko felt annoyed, the thing’s high-pitched voice getting on her nerves — but then she realized the implications. ‘Soranome’… might be a yokai of the forest. Pyonpyon, perhaps? And the ‘human’…

No way. There was no way Souko would still be waiting for her. Right? It had been weeks now since she’d stopped coming, so why would Souko…

“Hey, what do you mean by—”

But before Reiko could finish her sentence, the small bird ayakashi flied off the window and disappeared.

Reiko cursed under her breath, groaned, tore out her hair. That didn’t make sense. She had thought that after what happened, she'd never see Souko again; and yet Souko kept coming back to their meeting spot? Despite it all?

Why did this stupid, plain girl always do the strangest and most unexpected things?

Reiko was irritated; but she felt something else fluttering in her chest, something frail and annoying but that breathed new life inside her.

She had a choice. She could act as if she’d never even seen that bird ayakashi. Ignoring yokai wasn’t anything new to her, after all. She could keep living her worthless, dull life, forget all about silly Souko Morinaga and her silly games and her silly determination to become her friend and her silly kisses…

Human still here. For you.

For you.

Reiko bit her lip, her heart beating so fast it felt like it would explode.

She ran out of the house.

* * *

Souko was here.

Waiting for her, at their usual spot, like always.

A part of Reiko felt stupid to have ever expected it any other way. Of course Souko was here. She was always here — as if she’d been destined, was born to do exactly that, wait for her in the middle of this isolated forest.

She caught sight of a white fluffy blob in the background, who fled instantly as soon as their eyes crossed. Pyonpyon, she guessed. Or Soranome, maybe. She still didn’t like how clingy they were, but now she might be considering she could try to find some sort of present for them, as thanks.

She stepped forward slowly. Souko was sitting quietly on a rock, her short brown hair fluttering softly in the wind, looking almost exactly like the first time she’d met her; except she had no books in her hands this time. She was just staring into the horizon with an unreadable face. Expecting.

Looking at her like this, right now, she seemed ridiculously beautiful.

The thought pissed Reiko off. She stopped right next to her, crossing her arms.

“You’re such an idiot.”

Souko hadn’t heard her coming from behind, so she startled slightly. Her surprise quickly morphed into relief, then joy, then actual tears formed in her eyes and Reiko could tell she was doing everything she could not to embrace her.

“Y-you came back!” she exclaimed, her voice trembling. “Thank god, you came back… I was afraid that you’d… I mean…”

She trailed off, then an uncomfortable silence installed itself between them.

Reiko sighed and sat next to her. Not close, but not too far away. She didn’t look at Souko.

“I’m sorry,” Souko said softly. “I… About kissing you, the other day. You were right; that wasn’t fair of me to… to do that without asking first. I hadn’t planned to do it, it’s just—”

“It’s fine. I don’t really care about it.”

“It’s not fine. It wasn’t right,” Souko insisted. “I just… Sometimes I get a little too overwhelmed, I guess, and I do things without thinking about it, and…”

“It’s fine, Souko. It’s really fine.”

Reiko saying her name always had a strange effect on Souko; it instantly softened her and made her smile, and this time was no exception.

“I really… really, really want to become your friend. And,” Souko continued, so quietly Reiko almost didn’t hear her, “maybe more than your friend.”

Reiko closed her eyes; let the words slide on her skin, inside her ears, deep into her heart.

“—But it’s okay if you don’t want to. I understand. We don’t have to be anything at all! We can just… We can just be, I guess. Just play games and talk and— and spend time together. But please… please, I…”

Souko turned toward Reiko, and even though Reiko wasn’t looking at her, she still could hear the tears in her voice, the desperation, in a way that twisted her heart: “But please don’t cut me off from your life. That’s all I’m asking. Please don’t run away.”

Reiko brought her knees close to her chest. It was starting to get cold. Soon, it would be winter. She didn’t have any winter clothes.

She buried her head inside her arms wrapped around her, as if they could protect her from the cold, from the wind, from Souko’s incessant, crestfallen, stubborn pleas.

Reiko had always thought she hated boredom more than anything else in the world, but maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Maybe she hated anything that threatened her very careful routine she’d sculpted through the years all on her own, scared of anything that could destroy it as much as she was fascinated by it.

That was why she kept coming back to Souko as much as she kept running away from her.

But Souko wanted her to stop running now. And there was still one question she’d never answered.

Reiko rose her head, stared into Souko’s brown, determined gaze, and with all the strength and love she could draw from them, she opened her mouth.

* * *

Notes: Btw in case it’s unclear, 'Pyonpyon' is indeed Soranome. ‘Pyon’ is the Japanese onomatopoeia for a nimbly, light-footed jump, often associated with rabbits. I 100% believe Reiko has the same habit as Natsume of giving funny childish nicknames lol, it’s genetic and she passed on this to him