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I keep getting responses from native people on this site talking about the racism they experience from white "allies" or non native "allies". To remedy this, here is how to be a normal person, what to do and what not to do, told through stories of growing up as a half Jewish half British toddler in Anishinaabe territory, plus some later experiences thrown in.

DON'T: do religious dances as a non native. This was a hard one as a toddler because young children do not separate themselves from their caregivers, and as my preschool teacher whom I viewed (and still do) as a second mom was Ojibwe/Potawatomi, I was convinced as a 3 year old that I would grow up to be a fancy shawl and jingle dress dancer. Of course as an adult now I realize I am not in fact from either of those tribes and therefore cannot do said dances, but I certainly taught myself to do them and used to dance around the kitchen as a little child imagining I had a rainbow fancy shawl (those were my favorite) or an eagle fan and a jingle dress made with strawberry print fabric.

DO: Learn the correct way to make traditional crafts. I am eternally grateful to aformentioned preschool teacher for teaching me the right way to make pinch as well as coil pots without slipping and scoring or any tools. This landed me in hot water later in my childhood when white teachers punished me for "not making the pinch pots correctly" and being "wasteful" since "this ethnic craft is so difficult and is from native america" so I had "never done it before" and was "doing it wrong" because I was spacing the coils very very evenly and taking a long time to complete the pot whereas the teachers made me make quick uneven coils and slip and score them. Don't be racist when teaching traditional crafts you actually don't know. I think I was told that I made up the fact I learned it from an actual Native person a few times. Lol

DON'T: invade a powwow circle, no matter how sparkly the jingles on that lady's dress are and how much you want as a toddler to grab them in your pudgy hands. Actually, don't invade a powwow circle for any reason as a non native UNLESS it's a round dance and you are invited in which case PARTY ON.

DO: only smudge or practice any other religious practice IF YOUR CLOSE FRIEND TAUGHT YOU SPECIFICALLY. No other transfer of this practice such as YouTube, "spirituality", or begging a random native person you don't know very well is acceptable. So far in my life my non Native family have smudged our house ONCE, specifically the Ojibwe way, as my parents were taught by their dear friends before a permanent falling out before I was born (my parents were also married with a basket and eagle feather and blanket before said falling out) . It is NOT acceptable in any other circumstance to burn bundles of sage and sweet grass as a non Native. EVER. No wicca, no "witchiness", no "earth spirituality", NO! Also when smudging the correct Ojibwe way the man of the house is the only one who does it so woo-woo noble savage nature kin type of white allies can FUCK OFF.

DON'T: Ask stupid questions to elders. Later in my childhood we had a school unit on the Wampanoag and my school asked a local elder to visit and answer questions. This nice old woman was being bombarded with "how to say [x] in Native American" questions every 5 minutes for a long time. Google is free, yes even as a kid. We spent 2 months learning that there are actually different cultures in North America only for you to pull this shit in front of an elder. Also, no disagreeing with elders, no calling them on bad behavior, no taking their seats even if they stand up, no moving their stuff, no talking back to them. If you cannot follow these rules then simply do not ever interact with an elder. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

DON'T: make fun of or otherwise comment on Native children's seeming lack of emotion. This is a big one. I was always taught not to cry unless the problem was too big to solve, or as preschool teacher/second mama put it "are you going to cry about it and waste energy and time and make noise, or are you going to go do something about it?" I have lived by these words my entire life. I was constantly labeled as cold and emotionless by white teachers and then when I did cry over a big problem, manipulative. This problem is magnified when the child is actually Native. I remember sitting in a room adjacent to a math class in 3rd grade and watching my Wampanoag classmate get asked why he was so stubborn and "cold" and "emotionless" and "too independent" through the open door. For the love of everything STOP DOING THIS. White parenting styles are actually not superior. smh....

DO: buy stuff at powwows. As my previous post pointed out, if you are invited you can enjoy someone else's culture in a respectful and mutually enjoyable and good way. I remember buying stuff at a powwow as a kid and wanting so hard to be polite that I asked the seller how to say thank you. That is when I learned "miigwech". Also giving people money because you are illegally squatting on their land is always polite and the right thing to do.

DON'T: buy or use dreamcatchers, unless your very best friend is Ojibwe or something. I have tried to like them my whole life (and bought one I used until it broke directly from an anishinaabe powwow) but always felt vaguely uncomfortable around them after I saw how most people thought of them, and every non native should also feel uncomfortable about mixing up spiritual practices that don't belong to you and assigning random meaning to them from a religion they don't know very well. Also properly made ones are incredibly complicated to make and should be made from sinew.

DO: blast Young Spirit when you are sad. It's round dance music, so you run less of a risk of accidentally dancing a dance you aren't supposed to (e.g., jingle dress, grass dance, smoke dance, traditional, fancy, fancy shawl, crow hop, etc) and also round dances imho are elite. This is the best damn drum group ever and idc that I am a basic bitch.

DON'T: pity Native people or act like they need to be grateful to you for being an "ally". Nothing will ruin your chances of a good conversation faster, and with very good reason. One, pity is the opposite of what the majority of Native people I have talked to want, as the only reason you pity them is because you want to feel like a good person. No pity, just fucking normalcy and land back is appropriate. Think about it. We come here, murder them in the hundreds of thousands if not millions, steal their shit, and suddenly want them to praise us and reassure us and be grateful???? ewwwwwww disgusting. fix yourself.