[Scene: Sasuke is sitting alone under a tree, reading a scroll on advanced lightning techniques. Peaceful. Until…]

Naruto: Oh hey, Sasuke!

Sasuke: (sighs) …What do you want, Naruto?

Naruto: You’ll never guess what happened to me on the way back from Ichiraku! Some guy smiled at me and started talking.

Sasuke: Fascinating. Truly.

Naruto: He was super friendly. Kinda flirty, actually. I think, maybe he thought I was into guys.

Sasuke: ...And why are you telling me this?

Naruto: Geez, don’t get all weird about it.

Sasuke: I'M NOT GETTING WEIRD! Why would I care if some guy hit on you? I’m trying to train.

Naruto: Okay, okay! I just thought maybe it’s something we could, I dunno, talk about?

Sasuke: Well, I don’t want to talk about it, Naruto. End of discussion.

Naruto: Yeah, but Sasuke...

Sasuke: OVER.

Naruto: Okay, fine. But just so you know...

Naruto (singing): 🎵 If you were gay, That’d be okay. I mean, c’mon, I’d like you anyway. 🎵

Sasuke: (groans)

Naruto: 🎵 'Cause even if You swung that way, I’d still be like, “Hey bro, that’s totally okay.” 🎵 But I’m not gay.

Sasuke: Naruto, seriously, I’m reading. What?

Naruto: 🎵 If you liked guys... 🎵

Sasuke: Oh no.

Naruto: 🎵 I wouldn’t despise. 🎵

Sasuke: Naruto, I swear.

Naruto: 🎵 I’d still be here, Right by your side. You're my comrade, my rival, my pride. 🎵

Sasuke: ...ugh.

Naruto: 🎵 And I know that you, Would accept me too, If I said, “Hey Sasuke, I’m gay!” But I’m not gay. 🎵

🎵 I’m happy just being your friend, Running beside you 'til the very end. 🎵

Sasuke: Lightning Blade, please strike me now.

Naruto: 🎵 So why should it matter to me Who you kiss in the trees? I mean, really. 🎵

Sasuke: That is disgusting!

Naruto: No it’s not!

🎵 If you were gay, I’d shout “BELIEVE IT!” 🎵

Sasuke: I’m not listening!

Naruto: 🎵 And I’d commit! I wouldn’t throw a fit. 🎵

Sasuke: La la la la la la la!

Naruto: 🎵 I’d stand by you, Like ninjas do. 🎵

🎵 Through all your moody brooding ways, I’d still yell “Dattebayo!” and say: You’re gay! 🎵

Sasuke: I. AM. NOT. GAY!!!

Naruto (grinning): 🎵 If you were gay~ 🎵

Sasuke: AAAAAARGHHH!!

Headcanons for being Jiraiya's sister

the results of staying up late and letting your random side decide what to post on your blog.

★ First off, I just wanna say he thinks you're scary 😭

★ You don't play any games if/when you catch him spying on women.

★ Whenever Tsunade's too tired to whoop his ass, you'll do it for her!!

★ Even if you get onto him about being a perv .. you're his sister so it makes sense you pick up some of those perverted attributes. you hide it very well though because you know very well that jiraiya would not let you live it down 😭

★ You two are pretty distant ngl. But whenever y'all randomly see each-other while walking by you point at him (like that spiderman meme 💀)

★ You met Naruto and sometimes Jiraiya gets a little jelly whenever you treat Naruto like a little brother (and u can't help it, he's too cute)

★ But nah you hit him on the head whenever he pouts like a baby and then give him a lil side–hug

★ YOU TWO CAN'T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY. jiraiya will say something that sounds oddly sexual and then you two will have the most intense staring contest then proceed to laugh like idiots 😭 especially in tsunade's office, she'll just wait until yall are done with one of those red marks on her head

★ Dinner is so fun. You feel guilty for stealing Naruto's frog wallet but you and jiraiya get drinks or something. You don't even discuss the Akatsuki's whereabouts most of the time, just random stuff.

★ When Naruto's asleep after training you two take a quick cloud–watching break and laugh whenever one looks like a butt or something lmao

★ He's not too protective of you since you can damn well take care of yourself but if someone insults you while you're away he'll slap them for sure.

★ He likes to annoy you.

★ "[name].." he pokes your cheek, examining your peaceful sleeping face to see if it would stir. His favorite passtime is waking you up from your slumber while you two are together. His eyes hold a childish glint in them as your eyebrows subconsciously furrow and your hands, that lay beside you, splay out a little more.

★ He does the same action once again, this time his finger pushing more into your flesh. He gasps a little and retracts his hand as your eyes snap wide open right after as if anticipating for him to poke you again. He's aware of how grouchy you are whenever you're woken up, so he takes a step back and raises his hands in front of himself as if telling you to wait. He definitely wasn't expecting for you to actually wake up. "Hello there, dear sister."

★ You show him no mercy as your eye twiches, and like a monkey reaching for a banana, you jump at him and knock him to the floor, giving the hardest punches you could muster. Your eyes are as red as a demon's and that's not because of your tiredness. "DON'T! WAKE! ME! UP!"

★ yeah my creativity goes wild whenever i imagine things.

★ But anyways, he loves embarrassing you. Like giving you piggy–back rides in public. You hate how Naruto finds it amusing. You growl (which sounds pathetic considering that you're on your brother's back) whenever he laughs.

★ Yeah, you embarrass Jiraiya too. You call him things like Ji–chan or Froggy–boy. Its funny whenever he crosses his arms like a kid and tells you to stop it.

★ He thinks you're cool. You've been through so much with him, from fighting enemies to beating his ass for spying on women, he couldn't ask for a better sister. (He'd never say this out loud.) And that's why he swears on his life that he'd always be there for you until the day he dies :(