#narocs

Javier's voice, as soothing as ever, is a welcomed sound to her ears, “Don’t be a stranger.” He whispers.

Ana forces a smile he can’t see. It’s a smile to hide her sadness, a smile to say ‘hey, this doesn’t have to be the end’

When she doesn’t reply verbally, Javier slouches over to view her face. Ana twists her neck a little to meet his waiting gaze, her eyes moist, “I won’t.”

Looking at Javier hurts too much. Ana looks away, breaking eye contact. Deep down she wants to keep looking, to memorize every curve, crease, wrinkle and detail of his face just in case she never -

She blinks away the thought. Closing her eyes again, she inhales and exhales loudly and rests her head back against his thigh. Javier lightly massages her arm. Despite his silence, his mind was working overtime. There was so much to say, but no more time to say it. They had to leave for the airport in 20 minutes and the next time he would enter this apartment, he’d do it alone.

Flashback over

JAVIER

As things intensified in Colombia, Javier got involved in some deep shit. Even worse, the phone calls became less and less. The highlight of his days was soon slipping away from him without explanation. For the first month they talked all the time, talking even when one listened as the other drifted off to sleep.

Now, when Javier did call, he’d catch her machine, or Ana didn’t stay on for too long. All the while Javier sensed something was up, there was something she wasn't telling him. The silence grew heavier and heavier. As time passed, things only got worse and eventually, Ana stopped answering the phone.

31 days.

It’s been 31 days now since Javier heard her voice. 31 days since he made her laugh and could hear her breathing over the phone. 31 days had passed since he drifted off to sleep feeling comforted by her presence on the other side of the line.

His mind was spinning. Maybe Ana didn’t need him anymore? Maybe, to heal, she needed to separate herself from everything associated with Colombia, even if that included him.

That had to be it. Right?

But Javier remained unconvinced, this band-aid of a reason gave him little comfort. He’s had enough time to spin up numerous explanations, none of them could take away the sting in his chest, nor the sinking feeling in his gut when he thought about it. When he thought about her.

In his efforts to take Escobar down, Javier built a hole so deep he could barely breathe or see the horizon. Ana going silent at the same time was more than his system could handle. It was selfish, he knew that, but Javier needed her. At the same time, Javier felt regret and pain for not being able to save her from the nightmare she endured. In his mind, Javier let her down, and he had to live with that.

Even when she stopped answering, Javier would still pick up the phone. Sometimes just holding it tight as he imagined her voice, other times calling only to get the automated message. Javier smoked and drinked with more frequency these days and eventually tried to cure this ales with company. But it was all fleeting, only leaving him feeling worse after each encounter.

Javier soon realises what he’s always known; none of this was going to help. Even if Ana didn’t want to see him, he had to see with his own eyes that she was okay. If she never wanted to see him again, he would rather feel that dagger insperson and hear it from her lips.

Sleepless nights were not new for Javier, especially since Ana left. But the night he booked his ticket to the states, he slept a little better knowing he would see her soon. Anything going on here could wait, for a moment. Steve could handle it. Javier knew he wouldnt rest until he saw Ana in the flesh.

Like some cosmic joke, the morning he came in to file his personal day's request, was the same morning he was called into the boss's office. The deal with the devil he made to get Escobar was found out. As it came to light, a fucking bomb went off.

Javier felt broken. He felt like a failure. He lost Ana, he lost his job, he lost his chance to take Pablo down and now he was going back to Texas, the one place he didn’t want to be.

Day 3 on the Ranch

Javier had many reasons for not wanting to come back here, but it was good to see his pop, to spend time with him. As the sun set, Javier sat back in the chair taking in the landscape of the Ranch. Separating himself so much, he forgot how peaceful the place could be. Inside though, he was feeling anything but.

As soon as he was sent home, he came here. He’s been here ever since helping his dad with Ranch work, not saying much, and drinking his feelings away. Over the last few days, he only had about 9 hours of sleep total. But he knew tonight would be just like last night. He would drink until he was tired, stare at the phone, and try to sleep while the tv played on silent.

He takes a sip of the cold beer and closes his eyes. That voice returns.

Something is wrong.

Javier sits up, takes a second, then stands. Entering the house, he sets the beer aside and leans over the counter where the phone is. Picking it up, Javier holds it to his ear and dials Ana’s number.

(Automated message: We’re sorry, but the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected)

“Fuck,” Javier slams the phone down, then rubs his face with his hands.

He doesn't hear this father come in.

“Who is she?” Javier looks over his shoulder, seeing his father in the doorway.

When Javier only responds with a look, he continues,” Think I havent noticed?”

Javier parts his lips to speak, then stops himself. He runs his hand over his mouth and jaw.

Chucho, knowing his son better than anyone, sighs and motions to the backyard. “I’ll be out there if you want to talk.”

Javier crosses his arms defensively, “I’m fine.”

Chucho shoots him a look and leaves the room. It's only seconds later Javier joins his father. After a few passing moments in silence, Javier starts to talk about her. By the end of it, Javier says more than he expected he would.

His father is silent, reflective as he takes it all in. A moment later Javier goes silent too, Chucho observes at his son, “you know what you have to do.”

With the wisdom of an old wise owl, Chucho nods and continues staring out at the sky. Javier watches him a minute before standing up. He heads toward the house, then stops and turns to his father.

Javier thanks him with his eyes, Chucho, nonverbally, replies and Javier disappears into the house.

…

ANA

Flashback

Home. Did such a thing even exist anymore? The storm of emotions inside of her makes her sick to her stomach, even a little dizzy, and fully overwhelmed. Then there was the disappointment. Disappointed she couldn’t finish the job, disappointed she couldn’t do more for the girls…

Ana blinks, finally tearing her eyes away from the window. She glances back at Connie and Steve, then turns to Javier who is standing at her side.

(PA: Now boarding flight 716 to…)

The rest of the announcement fades as Javier's puppy dog eyes draw her closer to him. Javier takes her hand on his, “Call me when you land.”

Ana weaves her fingers through his while maintaining eye contact, “I promise. I will.”

Not knowing what else to do, Javier pulls her into a hug. She sighs, melting into him as he kisses the top of her head. A small smile briefly animates her lips as she holds him. Javier buries his face in Ana’s hair, inhaling her scent, trying to hold on to it as long as possible. His nose lingers there when he speaks again,

“I wanted to make sure you weren’t alone,” Javier pauses, he observes the confused expression on her face, “at your connecting flight. A friend will be waiting.”

Trying to think of who, Ana lowers her gaze. She didn’t know Javier knew the names of her friends back home, maybe it was one of them? Ana quickly decides to not think about it,she is tired, her brain is tired. It was a sweet gesture and however it was, she was sure Javier chose well.

Ana slowly moves her hands up his back until she reaches his shoulders, she rests them there with a light squeeze. “Thank you. I do wish,” she pauses, “ I wish you were going with me.”

Javier’s brown eyes moisten, he frowns. “I wish I was too.” Javier offers a smile, then a kiss. It’s a sweet, brief kiss with the weight of oceans behind it.

Flashback over

ANA

ANA

She can feel Jennifer's eyes burning into her at every stop light. There was something she wanted to say, but was hesitant to say it. With the weight of the appointment already on her mind, Ana didn’t push, she didn’t think she could handle anything else right now and just needed space to think.

It wasn’t to say she wasn’t thankful, she was, very much so. Arriving at her connecting flight that day and seeing Jennifer, who she nearly didn't recognize waiting for her, was a welcomed surprise. It was also a relief, though she couldn’t get all the girls out, she was glad Jennifer got out with the help of Javier and Steve.

It took no time to break down in her friend's arms. A friend she lied to, a friend who knew her as someone else. It took time, but once Ana was ready and opened up Jennifer took it all well, remaining supportive. To her, Ana was the older sister she always wanted, and nothing was going to change that.

Being back was anything from easy. At first, she held it all back behind a wall, shoving it deep down. Even during her nightly conversations with Javier, she played it down, remaining calm on the surface. Then, a month in, she broke. Losing her poker face, everything flooded in like a tornado and even standing became difficult. She shut down, lost her voice, and shut everything out, even Javier. But Jennifer remained compassionately persistent, checking on her and staying close, even if Ana stayed to herself. And when paranoia got the best of her, and she moved, Jennifer moved into the same building.

As they pull into the small quaint apartment complex, Ana can see Jennifer is squeezing the wheel tighter than usual.

“I’m okay.” She says,

Jennifer looks at her, “really? The doc-”

“I’m okay,” Ana tries to convince her, “don’t worry about it. I have some leftovers, want to watch a movie?”

“I’d love that.” Jennifer replies.

After locking the car, they enter the building from the parking lot and enter the elevator to the 4th floor where Ana’s apartment is. Neither talk, and Jennifer still seems distracted by something. The elevator door opens, they step out and head left.

“How about something silly? Yeah?” Ana asks as she glances back at Jennifer briefly and notices the look on her face,

Ana stops in her tracks, “what?”

Jennifer nods toward Ana’s apartment door as it comes into view. Ana’s breathing quickens as she follows Jennifer's line of sight. There in front of her door stands Javier, in the flesh. His eyes are large and full of concern as his hands hang awkwardly at his sides.

“Javier - “ Ana takes a step closer, then stops, not believing her eyes.

Javier does the same, not sure if he should pull her into his arms and hold her like he wants to, or stay back and respect her space, see how she reacts.

“I’m here.” He replies,

Jennifer looks at Ana, then Javier, then back at Ana. “I uh,” she grabs Ana’s hand, “you know i would never compromise your safety, or mine. Just, he was worried and, when he called me I...I thought it would be good for you to see each other, you know?”

Ana looks at her friend through tear filled eyes. She never told Jennifer she stopped talking to Javier, she kept it to herself. But she missed him, she missed him every second of the day and she did feel bad she dropped off the planet like that, likely leaving him to think she was dead, or worse, wanted nothing to do with him. Though Ana thought about it, she didn't think she had the strength to reach out yet, and she couldnt be mad at Jennifer for this, in fact she was grateful.

Feeling overwhelmed, she steps closer to Jennifer and hugs her. The friends embrace for a while, Ana pulls away first. Jennifer wipes Ana’s face, clearing the tears away,

“Want me to stay?” She asks softly.

Ana nods, no. Jennifer looks back at Javier, then Ana. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”

“Thank you.” Ana whispers. She watches her friend head back to the elevator and turns to Javier who waits patiently. Her voice is small, shaky, “hi.”

Javier smiles, taking another step closer, “Hi.”

Ana walks past him and unlocks the door. It’s silent as they enter the apartment. It’s warm, vibrant, and full of plants. It smells like her.

She seems nervous and wraps the large coat she's wearing around herself even tighter. Ana motions to the couch, offering Javier a seat, he takes it and presses his hands into his thighs.

“I hope you’re not upset. If you never want to see me again, I’ll respect that. But I had to see you with my own eyes, I had to know you were alive.”

Ana nods and slowly sits on the arm of the opposite couch. Still not looking at him, her eyes on the ground.

“I disappeared, I’m sorry.” She sighs, “its just been alot. I stayed strong as long as I could then suddenly, I wasn't strong anymore. How does a person who fixes things, who gives people hope, recover from losing it herself?” Then she looks up at him, and Javier feels his heart breaking.

Javier wants to get up, to sit next to her, but he’s still not sure if she would want that. He wants her to be comfortable, so he stays where he is.

She continues, “This place has been better though,” she looks around the apartment, “I hated my first therapist. A real dick, “ they both chuckle, “but the new one, she's better. She’s helping…” she trails off, settling her gaze on the plant in the middle of the coffee table.

Javier knows her words are genuine, he can feel it. His eyes are drawn to the coat again. When Ana looks at him, she notices. Something in her expression shifts, she almost seems embarrassed.

“It was nothing you did, why I stopped calling and answering. I kept having these nightmares that they would find me, i didn't feel safe in the last apartment and on a whim I moved, overnight. Then I found out…” she pauses, hesitates. Javier can see she’s visually struggling with the words.

“Can I, can I sit closer?” Javier asks

Ana nods and forces a smile. Javier moves closer, sitting on the couch, inches away from where she’s perched on the arm. Javier holds out his hand, tuning his palm up. Ana seems soothed by the gesture and rests her hand in his.

Holding Javier's hand tight, she closes her eyes, breathing through it, “I was afraid of this.” With her free hand, she pulls the jacket back and rests her hand on her stomach.

Javier holds his breath, or realizes he has been, he can’t tell. He watches as she raises her shirt, revealing the curve to her belly. It's not very big, but it's noticeable. Surprised, Javier looks back up at her, her eyes are already on him.

Ana looks down, the smile that comes to her lips this time is genuine, “remember that night we pretended to be strangers?” She glances over at him from under her lashes.

Javier chuckles and squeezes her hand, “ fuck yes I remember.”

She laughed softly, “that was it, guess i didn't leave Colombia empty handed. I just had no idea.”

Javier scoots closer, “so when you left, you already were…”

She nods, yes.

Javier stands, keeping her hand in his, he stands in front of her and caresses her face with his other hand. He didn’t know what to say, or what he was even feeling, it was all confusing and crashing inside of him.

“I’m going to be honest,” she leans into his caress, eyes steady on his, “this terrifies me. You should know I did try to ...get rid of it.” She closes her eyes and exhales loudly, “but as I sat in the waiting room I couldn’t do it,” she sobs, “I couldn’t do it.”

“It’s okay. Come here.” Javier takes her into his arms, holding her close as she cries into his chest. He caresses her back while he holds her. A kid was never something he wanted either, but it wasn't like they were being safe about it. But this wasn't about him, his only job right now was to be here with her, and for her. So that's what he does.

JAVIER and ANA

Later that night

Javier turns over on his back and rests his head against the pillow. It was a long night, an emotional, confusing, and intense night. They talked until they could talk no more, the entire time he held her close and remained grateful he found her.

Some point after dinner she fell asleep against his shoulder as they watched a movie, it was a welcomed break from all the talking. Javier carried her into her bedroom and tucked her in. He received a soft and sleepy thank you before she fell back to sleep again.

Then he came out here, and tried to sleep by himself. Though he was exhausted, he was up again after two hours. Ana was alive, and trying to find a way to be okay. It was understandable with everything she had gone through, and he remained unsure if he knew everything. Were there parts she left out? If so, would she ever tell him?

Then there was the baby, the cold growing inside of her. Ana was going to be a mother, Javier a father. Could they do it? It was a lot to digest, but he knew he would try his best to support her as they figured it all out.

Down the hall, Ana wakes and heads to the restroom. As she washes her hands, and stares at her expression in the mirror, the day's events replay in her mind. Almost like she needs proof to see if he’s really here, her next stop is the living room to catch a glimpse of him.

She finds Javier awake, his head resting on his arm. Ana leans into the doorway,

“I’m glad you came.”

Javier sits up, “I am too. I missed you.” He says softly.

Ana grins and goes over to him. She sits beside him and pulls some of the blanket over her legs. “I missed you too.”

Javier brushes her cheek with his thumb, the flashing light from the tv filling the room with dim light. “We’ll do this together, and we’ll figure it out. I promise.”

Touched, Ana plants a light kiss on his cheek. Javier presses his forehead against hers and breathes deeply. They stay this way for a moment, savoring the closeness.

“I never got to tell you, before I had to leave but,” Ana opens her eyes, Javiers are already open. Their foreheads part just a little as she brushes the tip of his nose with hers, “I do love you.”

Javier's gaze softens even more. He rests a hand on the side of her face, looking deep into her eyes, “I love you too.”

…

6 Years later

Ana finishes off the wine and places the glass down as she notices Connie cleaning up.

“Oh you don’t have to do that, you’re a guest!” She walks over to her.

“It's totally okay, seriously. I want to,” she puts down the beer bottle and smiles warmly at Ana, “this was fun, thank you. We really don’t do this enough.”

“Yeah, Mr. I don't-do-birhday-parties Pena really enjoyed his birthday party, “ they both smile, “and Chucho was generous to give us the ranch for this. To be honest, he loves this ranch but our house is like a vacation for him.”

They hear loud laughter from the other room as Javier and Steve have an animated conversation. Connie pops in, peeking her head around the corner, “inside voices, you’re going to wake the kids.”

.“Yeah and everyone has finally, finally gone to sleep.” Ana adds, shooting Javier a look. Both him and Steve snuck the kids' extra birthday cake, getting them down for the night was a fight.

Javier mouths an innocent, I'm sorry. Ana winks at him and goes back into the other room. She puts a record on low and sits to pour another glass of wine.

“Do I tell you I love you enough?” Steve gushes at his wife across the room. Connie playfully rolls her eyes and joins Ana in the living room. She grabs a glass and sits next to her.

“Finally, girl time.” They raise their classes in a toast.

...

Javier grabs his drink and leads the way out of the kitchen onto the patio, Steve follows. They walk a bit from the house and sit in the lounge chairs.

“If Matias or Camila wake up I’m screwed,” Javier grins, “Ana’s always been better at getting them to sleep.”

“Maybe it's your face,” Steve jokes, leading to Javier kicking him.

“So your kids must never sleep then?” They stare at each other before bursting into laughter.

Steve rests his drink on his thigh. “Seriously though, look at us. Can you believe it? Our youngest even has the same birthday.”

“Shit, I’m never getting rid of you, am I?” Javier jokes.

“Nope.” Steve takes a sip of his drink and sits up at Romeo, Javier and Ana's puppy, snuggles against his leg, “ hey buddy.”

“You can’t keep him. Get your own.” Javier shoots him a look and sits back in the chair. He looks up at the sky.

“I would have never imagined man,” Javier looks over at him, “not this. I didn’t think,” he pauses. After a moment, he lets out a relaxing breath and smiles, “it's good. Everything is good.”

Smiling, Steve raises his glass and clinks it against Javiers. They take a drink at the same time. The lively conversation they were having melted away to comfortable silence as they took in the landscape and savored the fact that everything worked out, better than either of them could have expected.

Inside, Connie and Ana quietly dance around the living room while mouthing the words from the song. Connie uses her empty glass as a microphone, not looking, she bumps into the table. As the vase falls over they both giggle. Down the hall, they hear stirring as one of the kids wakes up.

“Shit, I'm sorry,” Connie whispers. “Is that one of mine or yours?”

Ana shrugged, feeling playful and buzzed, she wasn't too worried about it, “who knows.”

The women snicker and wait. Everything goes silent. Whoever it was goes back to sleep. Ana quickly peaks down the hall then returns. She picks a record from the stack and holds it up, pointing at the first track, “Think you remember all the dance moves to this song?”

“Oh, is that a challenge?” Connie rests her hands on her hips.

“Yes, it is.” Ana puts the record on, “dance off.”

“Dance off.” Connie nods, getting into place far from the table.

Holding back laughter, they wait until the opening notes play and start to dance again. They don’t know it at the time, but Steve and Javier peek inside when refilling their drinks, they watch for a moment, enjoying the sight of their wives having fun before heading back outside with Romeo.

💕I leave you with the Davis - Peña family 💕

Dad! Javier & Mom! Ana with their family (including the dog)

Old tags for this fic

Loud silence @thatreclusewriter @revolution-starter​​ @cinewhore​ @higharnie​@scarlettvonsass @nicodarling @seasonschange-butpeopledont @agirllovespancakes​ @iwantadecentblogname @kailan-sunshine​@quantumlocked310 @agentwhiskeypussyindulgence @sheeshgivemeabreak​ @buckysalefty @engineeredfiction

More Javier

Javier Peña was trouble like you’d never known before. On your first day of the job he’d mistaken you for an informant. He’ll never forget the sting of his cheek after you slapped him when he offered to trade sex for information. In his defence he’d never meet an agent with an ass like yours (his words). But after that encounter he learnt never to underestimate you again. You did find him incredibly attractive and extremely distracting. You wanted him. But you let your pride get in the way of that ever happening.

Javier had developed a morning ritual for you. His own way of letting you know he wasn’t a total douche. Now when you show up to work, he’d be waiting for you by your desk with his signature smirk and a brown paper bag filled with your favourite pastry. You’d yank the bag from his grasp, telling him to get off her desk with a glare, but muttering a ‘thank you’ nevertheless. You had work to do, they both did. And there was nothing more distracting than Javier and his sinful lips. Steve would always tease the man, arguing about where his breakfast treat was. Javier always brushed his comments off. When they would get too serious, he’d simply tell Steve you’d be a good time in bed and that’s it. Once he got what he wanted out of you the special treatment would stop. Steve would let out a low whistle and mutter, “That’s heatless Javi.” And Javier knew it too. But he couldn’t let people know that he had gone and caught feelings.

The workday had finally come to end. Another boring day sitting at your desk filling out paperwork had left you feeling tense and fatigued. A glass of wine, a bubble bath and thinking about a certain DEA agent should do the trick. You’d almost made it out the door when your name was called by your two partners. “What do you two want? I’m done for the day.” You groan turning around to face the pair. They both wore the same troublesome look on their faces. “We’re going to the bar.” Steve tells you, “And you’re coming with us.” Javier adds, his tongue swiping over his lips making you take notice.

That was how you ended up at the bar and ditching your bubble bath plans. The music was fine, the whiskey in your glass made it tolerable. Steve had ditched Javi and you at the bar to dance with his wife, and that was more than 15 minutes ago. You’d spent the whole time sipping on your drink wondering if you’d actually have the guts to sleep with Javier. It seemed like more heartache than it was worth for you. A girl had come up to him almost as soon as the group had arrived. But he waved her off and offered to buy you a drink instead. You had scoffed at the women’s eagerness, but only because you were slightly jealous.

Javier ordered his fourth beer as he watched you out of the corner of his eye. You hadn’t spoken much in the last 15 minutes and it was beginning to make him nervous. Steve had conveniently disappeared with his wife and now it was just the two of you, alone. Javi never had an issue talking to women. That was usually because he didn’t care what they thought of him, so long as they distracted his mind for the night. But he cared what you thought of him. So much so that he hadn’t been with a women in months. And while it was driving him crazy not being able to release the tension. It was better than having a girl run out on him halfway after he had called her by your name on accident.

Javi cleared his throat trying to get your attention, “Hermosa, you want another drink?” he asks noticing that yours was now almost empty. You shook your head causing a few pieces of baby hair to fall from your ears. “No, I’ve probably had enough.” You admit finishing the last few drops off. He had noticed that your cheeks had become rosier and you’d cracked a smile at some of his jokes which you never usually did. Taking you to the bar was the only way to get you to open up to Javier. “You feelin’ okay?” he asks wondering if there was something bothering you. You were quiet, but never this silent. Always burring your thoughts away. Never wanting them to burden others.

“Yeah, I’m just a bit tired.” You sigh, maybe you should have that other drink. Clearly the first few weren’t perking you up but winding you down. “I can take you home if you’d like?” Javi suggests now feeling guilty for dragging you to the bar in the first place. He’d done if for selfish reasons, wanting to spend time with you. You pause and think for a moment. You really do want to crawl into you bed and get some rest. “Would that be okay?” you say politely not wanting to hurt his feelings. He nods, sliding some cash onto the table and escorting you to his car outside.

The drive back to your apartment was short. Javier knew the way to go as he’d dropped you off countless times before. He always wanted to make sure you got home safe. He wouldn’t leave until he saw you wave to him from the window of your living room. You had dreaded the moment he put the vehicle into park outside your home. You weren’t ready to say goodnight yet. You gave Javi a shy smile as you felt your heart beating in you throat. “Do you wanna come up for some coffee?” You ask finally spitting the words out. Javier’s brows raise as his mind wonders and you slap his arm, “Not like that. I mean actual coffee. That’s it.” You scold him and his dirty mind. “I guess I could spare a few minutes for you.” Javier teases checking is watch like he had somewhere else better to be. In reality Javi was grinning from ear to ear. He’d never stepped foot inside your apartment and was thrilled that he was being allowed into your home.

Javier waited patiently in the hallway as you dig through your purse to find your keys. His watchful eyes made you anxious as you opened the door and let him enter first. He drank in the details of your apartment. It was simple, and much cleaner than his own. Javi shrugged off his leather jacket and took a seat on you couch as he waited for you to brew the coffee you’d promised him. He’d never gotten this far before and he could feel his emotions for you boiling over the edge. Javier gripped the side of your couch trying to push them down. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you off. But all of his efforts washed away when he sees you carefully walking over to him with two steamy mugs. You gently offer him the mug, your fingers brushing against each other during the exchange. Even the briefest touch made Javi’s heart flutter and he knew he was in deep trouble this time.

You couldn’t stand the way Javier looked sitting on your couch. His shirt was slightly unbuttoned allowing you to peer at some of his chest hair. He had his arm stretched over the back of the couch, dominating the space. You took a seat next to him wanting to be close but still kept you distance. You both sipped your drinks in silence, occasionally stealing looks from one another. It suddenly began dawning on you as you sensed the tension in the room that maybe Javier was expecting something from you. He was watching you intently. His gaze burned your skin. It felt good, but what was the consequence of getting what you wanted.

“I’m sorry if you thought maybe something would happen.” You speak breaking the silence. Javi choked on his coffee at your honest approach and shook his head as he tried to recover. “Don’t worry I don’t want you like that” Javier explains putting his mug down trying to reassure you that he wasn’t going to use you.

“Oh.”

The noise accidentally slips through your mouth. You had a suspicion, but finally hearing it from the man himself that he didn’t like you that way solidified it in your mind. Javier almost jumps out of his seat when he sees the disappointment wash over your face. He’s confused at your response, he thought he was trying to make you feel better, but it was clear that had no idea how you were feeling.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I do want you. I just um – didn’t know you felt the same way” Javier stutters out taking your hand in his. He was trying to hold onto you just in case he’d already lost you.  “You do?” you reply wide-eyed, still not even sure what Javi was really admitting. “Of course, I do Cariño. You just made it very clear when we first met that you weren’t interested.” He explains his brown eyes staring into yours trying to find any sign of disgust, but all he saw was admiration.

You bite back a smile as you remember the memory. It seemed that your strategy to hide your feelings had worked too well.  “You have a certain reputation for being trouble Javi, I was trying to protect myself.” You explain squeezing his hand in yours, reminding him that you were still there with him. You had been warned countless times by other women around the office that Javier was bad news, but that hadn’t stopped you from feeling the way that you did. “Fuck that. I’d give up everything for hermosa.” Javi admits, his voice deepening from his serious tone.

“Kiss me then.” You ask boldly. You’d wasted enough time already. Javier didn’t need to be asked twice as he pounced on you pushing his lips against yours. His nose bumped against yours as he sucked on your lower lip, encouraging you to open up more to him. Your hands reached up for his hair trying to pull him closer to you. Javier couldn’t contain his excitement as he kissed you. Having you under him gasping for more was his new favourite thing. Your lungs began to burn, and you let go of Javi briefly to catch your breath. He kept littering you with kisses though, the hairs of his moustache tickling your neck. He didn’t want to miss an inch of skin. You grabbed his cheek pulling him away from his assault on you neck so you could gaze into his chocolate eyes.

Okay my little Ramóncito is an impulsive HoT hEaD and wears his heart on his sleeve.

He thinks he's cool and collected but the day he met you be was a stumbling mess.

Just imagine at an after party, him just walking up to you trying to introduce himself but he just keeps stumbling over his words- especially when he tries to compliment you omg.

 His shoulders dropping in relief when you smile back, him not so subtly glancing a look at the deep V-neck dress your wearing- who said that?

 Ramón lives for showing you off. Whether it be at the Roxane, to his friends or even the street vendor at the end of the street.

'Mira a mi princesa, ella es la mujer más guapa en Mexico.'   The poor vendor just wants to give you ice-cream and run away.

Let's talk about a night at the Roxanne for a second. You, dressed to ruin lives, on Ramóns arm with some expensive cocktail in the other.

 Him just introducing you to anyone who's there. Though he makes sure that they know your his. His alone ;)

 Dancing with Ramón is the shit, we all know it.- The grinding to the beat. His hands on your hips, sometimes one wanders up your thigh but that's just par for the course.

He's majorly protective of you- but not in a possessive way. He's just used to the dangers of Tijuana and his way of  life.

He'll always have his hand on your hip or around your waist. Holding you close to him.

He even taught you how to manage a gun and a knife on the off chance that you might need it someday.

Though he prays to Dio y los angeles every night that you'll never need it.

Everything he does for you is out of passionate love.

Can you just imagine the kisses? The intense passion. The lust. Just- ugh.

Ramón is all for PDA too. His hand is ALWAYS on you- your hip, waist, ass. Wherever and whenever he can.

He's totally shameless too so he has no problem slapping your ass in public.

Though Ramón's favourite is holding your hand as tightly as he can when you walk together out on the streets.

You're there beside him and nothing bad can happen to you, he's there to protect you. I-just. Why do I do this to myself.

Ramón LoVeS buying you gifts. He doesn't need an excuse.

He's extra AF so you best imagine your getting over the top jewellery, acres of roses, overly expensive champagne. And that's just on a normal afternoon.

Just- on your birthday or anniversary him arriving at your door with a box containing a chain. You thinking that's it but oh no.

Cue whole new wardrobe, those expensive shoes you looked at once and dinner at THE place in Mexico. Even though it's impossible to get a reservation.

He even got a band to come play, just for you.  

 Dates always consist of something intimate but y'all always end up at the Roxanne. Once Ramón even just went straight there.

He secretly loves just one on one time. It calms him down and lets him relax.

Speaking of calm- you're literally the only person who can calm him down when he's in one of his *moods*. No joke the family just call you know instead  of dealing with it

Just the sound of your voice brings him back to earth. The feeling of your skin against his elevates him from whatever dark place he was  in.

 You know about his -harsher- side but he tries his best to hide it from you. You constantly reassure him that you love him - the good and the bad-

*Looks around* Ramón lives for sleeping in the same bed as you. He needs to feel your presence beside him to be able to sleep.

Especially after one of the aforementioned moods. He'll curl up with his head on your tummy, arm draped across your waist as you play with his hair.'

'Estas seguro ahora mi amor,' you whisper as he drifts off.

Ramón also secretly loves it when you sleep on top of him. Cheek pressed against his bare chest. His heartbeat helping you fall asleep. His hand on your ass because - well Ramón.

You once woke up on the floor because Ramón forgot you were there and rolled over letting you fall.

EXPENSIVE by Erika Jayne just screams what the relationship would be. He'd give you anything your heart desired- and all the rest.  

He also spends hours ranting about what happened during the week on the weekends.

He feels he's pissing you off but you reassure him it's okay. He needs to get things off his chest.

After he'll get you both something to drink and you'll just chill in the comfortable silence.

 He'll leave out the gory details but if there's something he feels comfortable enough discussing with you, bet your ass he'll need your opinion before acting on anything. Though he's Ramón, he''ll just do what he wants. I never said that.

Just when you get involved in the family meetings, he'll bring you to every single one.

Ramón and Enedina always make sure your voice is heard. Especially on matters that you know something extra about.

Ramón loves getting your opinion on anything he wears. Though no matter what the flashy shirt is a must.

 Don't ask why but I get such vibes that Ramón LOVES horse racing. Like going to the track. Placing bets. Drinking before, after and well, during the race too.

You both dress up and head down for an afternoon on the tracks. He even owns a few prize winners

All of them are named after various inside jokes you both share. So you can get a giggle when the announcer says the name.

 Despite the lowest of lows the relationship always has the highest of highs.

 He has a mind of his own so when it came to tying him down, lets just say there was an argument or two.

When he realised that he couldn't live without you he pulled himself together. The risk of loosing you was too much.