#naoki

Walls, concrete and narrow streets. 

That was what San saw. Every day. 

Wake up, go to the farm, work, get home. Then all over again. 

He loved his family. He truly did. Despite the circumstances in the lower ring, his parents had given him and his siblings everything they could. He went to school until he was ten years old and even got bending practice. Since then he had worked on the farm with his dad and the rest of his uncles and aunts. 

His family home was fairly big, but it was to fit the whole family. Some not even related by blood, but if it was one thing people here knew; Stick together and you survive. And that was that. 

Still, it felt suffocating. Each day was the same. San passed the same among people, worked endlessly on a farm that produced fruits that people barely bought. In the summer, the heat was impossible. The fruits wilted quickly, got mushy and fruit flies were often the only ones that got a feast out of it. In the winter, it was freezing cold and the fruits and crops just didn't grow and they relied more on the stocks of root vegetables. Still somehow, the family kept their head above the water.

San wanted nothing more to leave. To discover something else. See something more than the wall that separated him from the outside. He believed there was something out there for him. 

At night, San used to climb up to the roof of their home and stare ahead. They lived a few miles from the wall, but still it stood. Looming over the neighbourhood. At least the nights were a little calmer. San could still hear a few people at the local drinking places as usual. Better to spend the night drunk and with strangers, than alone in an alley. 

This night, the half moon shone high on the sky, but still lit up the ground. At least up on the roof he didn't have to maneuver around small cousins, his mom and dad that stressed about getting dinner on the table for everyone and whatever else and didn't get to be nagged about doing something helpful. At least up here he could read a little in his book and breathe and just dream about a life outside of the rings. 

San didn't have a lot of books, but the few he had read always enticed him. He had read about Avatar Aang and his adventures and was so envious that Avatar Anng could just take his glider or sky bison and go everywhere. 

Omasu that practically relied on earth bending and modern technology to function. San though if he was there he could work in the postal services or as a builder. Not just a farmer that is only used for earth bending was removing and adding soil.  He was so low here in Ba sing se that he wasn't even drafted for the army. 

He read about Republic City. It seems like a futuristic metropolis. No walls, no ring system, no faceless monarch that his mother made them pray to. There he could be free. 

“San, come in,” Chow called from the window below. “It’s late.”

San sighed, but did close his book and climbed down. 

Chow closed the window after him and while San could tell he was a little bothered, it wasn't too unusual. “Don’t stay up there too late. The neighbours gets nosy.”

“The neighbours are out drinking each night,” San said back. 

Chow sighed and San undressed for bed. Chow had already lied down the futons. San lied on top of the cowers and stared up at the ceiling. “Why are you even awake?” San muttered. 

His older brother didn't answer. Chow lied down too. “You know you can actually spend some time with us after dinner, instead of disappearing into your books or up on the roof.”

“Still not answering.” San pointed out. 

Chow signing. “Pops and I went over some numbers for the fruit stand. Met up with LiLing and went for a walk. Then got back to help the youngest one to bed and help clean up with mom.”

San looked over at him. “You two are getting serious?”

Chow looked at him and nodded. 

San smiled a little, “I like her too.” That actually got Chiow to smile. 

Chow looked at him, “What about you San, you are soon eighteen. You should maybe think about taking more responsibility on the farm and think about meeting someone.”

San rolled over, his back facing his brother. “Don’t start. You just sound like mom and dad.”

Chow sighed, “well, they just worry, and mom and the aunts are already thinking of setting you up with someone when you turn 18.”

San peaked over his shoulder. “why haven't they talked about that with me.” 

Chow snorted, “maybe if you actually sat down with mom and dad after dinner, you three could actually talk.”

“No point, we just end up arguing.” San groached. “Dad kind of likes it better when I just shut up and do my work.”

Dad likes it when his family is together and he knows that we are safe," Chow said. “ You know how scared they are of losing us. Especially after they lost a child.” 

San breathed out. “Well, that can't be an excuse forever. She has been gone for over 12 years.” 

Chow nodded, “Spend some time with them. Don't just hide away on the roof when you feel dismissed. Sides LiLing barely knows you.”

“Im allowed to take a walk myself and do my own think when im not working.” 

Chow nodded, but sighed. “Don’t be so stubborn for the sake of it. All mom and dad want is to keep this family alive and close. You know dad would do anything for you.”

San sighed. and though the only thing his dad would do was to let him even have a week off. “Feels like they are just waiting for me to turn into you. Into him.” 

Chow breathed out, “that's not it, but right now you do not take responsibility for the farm, the stand or the family. You need to help out more. You rely on the family just as much as they rely on you. Not everyone in the ring gets to go to school or bending practice. You should be grateful.”

“I am grateful,” San said and turned around. raising his voice slightly. “I know what they did for me. They sent us to school and to bending practice each day and now when I want to go out there and use that for something- anything; And Dad says to stay put. What is the logic in that then, Chow.”

“Be quiet, the youngest ones are sleeping,” Chow said. San lied down and turned his back. Chow breathed out. “Hey, I know how you feel. I sometimes feel a little blue and that the days are monotone too. But engage more and things will become easier too.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” san breathed out. 

“I love you, San,” Chow said, “I’m like mom and dad too, I don't want to lose any of you.” 

San sighed and breathed out, “love you too.”

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When Naoki was five years old, she was told she could only bend at school. When she was 12 she had become a good fire bender, but her heart was amongst the herbs and plants her mother grew. 

When she was 13, her lighting generation was decent, but her village didn’t have schools or universities for her to become a master in it. Sides, the island barely had works that required fire bending and left of lighting bending. 

When she was 16 her mother died. Naoki believed she could have been saved if the island had proper medical care, or if her mother had been sent to another city with a proper hospital and healers. She read about them in the few magazines that got delivered here from the outside. 

Her dad said to let it go. Her mother was dead and that was it. 

A year later her dad fell sick. She tried every herbal medicine in her mothers all book, but it started with a few bedridden days until he couldn't even get out without help. Naoki took care with ease. Made food, fed him. Made sure their small house was clean, made sure newspapers and books were renewed. 

The medic came regularly to help out. They even said they could take him to the small sanatorium to heal. Naoki refused. She knew. People got sent there and they didn't get home. So she took on the responsibility. She ran the shop, maintained the house and helped her dad. 

“Naoki,” her dad called from the living room. 

“Coming,” she placed the tea cups on the tray and got it for him. Wrapped in a blanket and reading in his book. “Here, dad, tea.” 

“Thanks,” her dad smiled. He took a sip, “It’s good, you are getting a hand off making the tea blend.” 

Naoki smiled over her own cup, “Mom’s book was pretty detailed.”

Makoto  snorted and it ended in a coughing fit. Naoki hated the rattling sound and hated seeing him hunched over in pain. She pushed a glass of water toward him and when he was done, he just breasted out. 

Naoki smiled sadly, “Try to not strain yourself too much, Dad.”

Makoto huffed out some breaths and then took a big sip of his water, “I can talk to my own daughter can’t I.”

“We talk every day, dad,” Naoki easily said and got up. “Im going out for grocery, need anything. “ 

Makoto shook his head, “Nothing, but maybe we can have curry for dinner.”

Naoki smiled,  “of course, rest until then.”

---

A year later, Naoki had just turned 18. Summer was cooking their islands in heat. Even this year's crops were bad. 

“Naoki,” Makoto’s raspy voice called through the house and shop. He had been bedridden for two weeks. Sleeping most of the time. The medic said it was close. Still Naoki kept things light and positive and easy.  

“Coming,” she hung her apron on the hook and went to the master bedroom. 

On the futon lied her dad, wrapped under the blanket despite the heat. Maokot was slowly sitting up. Frame frail and weak. He had lost a lot of weight. Makoto was slowly sitting up, whining in pain. 

“Dad, lie down.” Naoki said and sat down beside him to push him back

Mako just shook his head, coughing hard. Naoki didn't react much, she got towels  and some cold presses. She dabbed his neck and cooed. After a whole minute, the fit stopped. Her dad was pale and shaky. 

“Please lie down,” she pleaded. 

“In the dresser,” Makoko weakly pointed. “Bottom drawer.”

Naoki looked over to the dresser, “do you want to change clothes?”

Makoto shook his head, "there's an envelope.”

She crawled over and opened it. Among the papers and some boxes were an envelope named Naoki. She brought it over.

Makoto looked at her, “it's yours, open it.” 

She did, and there was money. a few thousands fire nations yens. She frowned and looked at her dad. “Dad, what is this?” 

“Naoki, me and my mother saved up some money for you,”

“Dad.”

“No,let me finish" Makoto was thrown into another fit. It took two minutes this time and one minute of getting his breath steady to just talk. Naoki offered water.  “We wanted another life for you, Naoki, sending you to a proper school in the Fire Nation. You are a good bender, smart and kind too.”

“Dad,” Naoki frowned, “I love it here. This is my home. This is were you and mom grew up.”

Maokoto huffed weakly, “This island is no place to settle. If I could have, I would have taken you and your mother and tried to build a life in the capital. Or maybe even all the way to Republic City.” 

Naoki sat down beside him and held his hand. “Dad, with this money we could go to the capital and get proper medical care. You can get better with proper meds.” She dared to smile. This could help him. 

Makoto shook his head, “No, use that money to get out of there. This island isn't good. I have already been sick for over a year, moving away won't make me better.”

“Don’t say that,” Naoki huffed and closed the envelope. “This is my home Dad.”

“This is were you grew up, Naoki,” her dad said stubbornly, "home is were your people are, your family.”

“Dont say that dad,” Naoki swallowed hard. “Come on, I get the meds and you get better. We leave together once you are better.”

Maoko shook his head and gently stroked her cheek and brushed her bangs out of the way. “Naoki, get away from this island. Use the money to do what I couldn't."

Naoki shook her head, “I don't want to lose you too.”

Maokto shook his head, coughing again and Naooki helped him lay down. “You are never going to lose me, but if you stay here on this island, you will lose yourself. This island isn't good.”  His eyes started to get heavy. “I need to know that you are safe when I'm gone. I won't be here to watch over you.” 

“Dad, please don't say that.” Naoki brushed a few tears away

Makoto looked at her, eyes weak. “I love you Naoki. You mother too. Just promise me when I’m gone, you take care of yourself. Create a nice life for yourself.”

Naoki nodded and gently kissed his dad's forehead. “I promise, Dad, now get some rest.” She tucked him in and watched as he settled for sleep.

Naoki swallowed and laid down on the tatami boards beside his futon as his dad slipped into deep sleep. She took his cold hand into her and held it. Wishing for a miracle.

A  month later, her dad died.  The island medics said he slipped into sleep, but Naoki had seen it all. It was painful, even in my sleep. She watched him take his last breaths and suddenly the island never felt more alone. 

For a while she tried. She ran the shop. Made medicine and ointments in the evenings and tried to live. She had friends, she had the shop, she had the urns her parents were cremated in. 

One day when she walked to the docs, she spotted a worker. Maybe it was her curiosity, but she stopped the man. “Excuse me, this boat, where does it go?” 

The man, forty maybe, smiled, “this boat goes to Jing Hui, then straight to Republic City. There’s another one later,  which has a few stops  before it goes to the capital. ”

Naoki nodded, and thanked the man. 

For a few more weeks she tried. It just wasn't just working anymore. So she sold the house for some low amount of money, donated a few of their things and burned what she wanted in the garden, and then left to the docs. 

The leader of the city was not happy. Cursed her out for trying to flee. for closing the shop without a notice. For giving away the premade ointments and medicine and jars. He couldn’t collect taxes from her then. 

Naoki stood her ground, scared and frightened that she was going to be forced to stay here. However, when the boat docked she snuck in, only noticed by the captain and got a free ticket to the United Republic in exchange of some home made stomach medicine and some plant syrup. 

The next day she saw water in every direction

She took the urns out and stood at the deck looking out of the horizon. She opened the urns and looked down at the ashes, hands trembling. In swift motions she threw the ashes out and watched it disperse into the air and water.