I hate ending up in that “why do I even bother writing” mindset.

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I hate ending up in that “why do I even bother writing” mindset.

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NaNo diary update:
So, I'm going faster than I originally intended. I was planning on a 25k words goal instead of the actual 50k. But then I wrote almost 2k words in the first day and went like "oh what if I go for the full 50k?"
But suddenly I have stuff to do irl and I fall behind on schedule, lmao.
Anyways, I have 4.5k words so far - which is a lot, considering my slow speed - and I'm half proud and half striving for more.
My editor is quite busy at the moment, but once she has free time, we'll post the chapters on AO3. The project itself is a fanfic so it's understandable if y'all wouldn't want to read it. But I probably won't be posting much over here until NaNo ends, and thought to tell you that if someone possibly might want to see more of my writing, message me and I'll give you the link.
P.S: No I definitely don't have an editor for the stuff I post here. She only helps me with my fanfics, haha.
@whumptywhumpdump
... I know November just started and I could still do Nano if I wanted to, but,,, would it be weird to do my Own Nano in December instead and try to write 50k that month instead of this month? Cause like I’d love to have a chance at winning Nano and I honestly think I could totally do it IF I didn’t have so much school and work responsibilities draining my energy each day. I tend to run more towards having less spoons than the average 20 year old and struggle to write consistently and frequently most of the time too BUT! This December I might not be working anymore, I’ll have half the month off of school, and in the first half I’ll just have like a week of classes, two assignments and two finals aka still doable to do that and write a bunch if I’m also not working. Plus I’d have this whole month to better plot and plan the wip. Whereas rn I think work + school = not enough energy to write 50k in a month.
Idk I like this idea guys but I feel like I’ll be missing the writeblr Nano Energy ™ that happens this month
I kinda want to share with someone the bit of my NaNo project I wrote yesterday, but like, I am conflicted.
Cause you see I was having a good ol unhelpful helping of writers block. And the point where I currently am in the plot there is no way to skip to the next scene without writing this one (it's just too flowy if you know what I mean).
So in the interest of getting crap on paper and hitting my word count for the day, I skipped to the climax (???) of the book.
And basically my dillema is I want someone to read it because I'm so ffreaking exttied by my own plot twists and turns, but I don't want to spoil it for anyone who actually wants to read it.
And it has to be someone who has at least read part of what I've already written (or is willing to have 38ish pages of exposition dumped on them so they can read the climax with some contex).
Basically I wanna infodump about my own story but I can't because anxiety.
Why?? is writing so hard?? What the heck? Just let me get to the scene that I want???

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Why did I decide to write about a teahouse?
I don't drink tea. I don't know anything about tea.
Why am I doing this.
LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS
TO WRITE
THE WORDSSS
My outlining method...
...is, in a word, questionable.
Exhibit A:
Said arc being about a demon getting murdered, which, to Ash’s credit, doesn’t happen all too often.
Exhibit B:
Why plan a character when you can make one up on the fly?
And finally, Exhibit C:
Written at the end of the outline document. Because why would I want to plan out a coherent ending when I can try and encourage myself XD