#nancyrobin

Nancy woke up first. She’d let herself lie there for a peaceful moment, appreciating the red tints on Robin’s cheeks from how overheated her bedroom got. Their hair mixed together on the singular pillow. Nancy lifted a hand to hold onto Robin’s calf. Long, pale, and unshaved. The little dark hairs underneath her fingertips felt like carpeting. She pressed her nose to Robin’s neck and took a deep breath in.

At the kitchen counter, they’d formulated a routine. Ted at the head of the dining room table, coffee in one hand and newspaper in the other. Holly across from him or, when she was feeling up to it, at the counter with Robin and Nancy. Nancy would grab the bowls, Robin poured the milk as Nancy poured the cereal in the other. They dunked each others’ spoons in their respective bowls. Robin liked water with ice in the morning. Nancy liked room temperature. 

Mike often wedged his way in between them, half of the time a furious whirl of conversation and the other a ghost of a person. When he was a ghost, Robin poured him cereal. When he was up for living, he’d pour his own - ripping the box from her hand and spilling out marshmallows all over the kitchen in the process.

When it was nice enough outside, a rare occurrence with the apocalypse and all, they’d sit out on the back patio and share bites of soggy Lucky Charms. Robin fed Nancy bites of hers. Nancy let her steal when she was pretending not to look. Which was a complete lie, because Nancy was always looking at Robin. She and the way the morning sun reflected off her face, as if she was as dew-coated as the grass and the shrubs. Robin the garden. Robin the flower. Nancy reached over and tucked a stray hair behind Robin’s ear. It felt like water between her fingers.

What she liked particularly about Robin’s hair was its innate ability to bounce back from any and all obstacles - a bad hair day was unheard of. Especially then, with her bangs grown out far too long to keep clung to her eyelashes, Robin’d tuck strands behind the backs of her ears. It gave her this sense of forlorn curtains on her cheeks, sticky with summer sweat and baby hairs clinging to her forehead - the gaps in the hair where the bangs used to be. It made her face look as if it were a stage newly opened to the public, the show about to start. Nancy took a front row seat.

When the bangs got far too long for Nancy to tolerate and Robin to properly tuck, she easily convinced Robin to get it cut. But the barber had been eaten by a demogorgon, so Nancy had to learn to work a pair of cutting scissors instead. She pushed the chair from her bedroom desk into her bathroom, blushing over the pink walls and little girl makeup kits in the drawers as if Robin hadn’t been practically living in her house for the past two months. Robin sat dutifully on the wooden chair. It was clearly a struggle to sit so still, but Nancy’s hands in her hair had her fairly pacified. She leaned her head back to offer more access, some blissful smile spreading across her face as Nancy chopped unprofessionally at stray hairs and guessed at length.

Then the cutting was over and washing began. Robin bent herself over the half-shower, half-bath to allow Nancy more access. Her knees hit the tile without much ceremony, eyes closed and turned up to Nancy like a sunflower as she ran her hands through the locks over and over again. The sight was almost religious. Nancy couldn’t take it - she had to duck Robin’s head underneath the faucet just to survive. Baptism.

And now her hair didn’t look half-bad. Nancy’s poor attempts at chopping it had all but returned her bangs to their natural state (sleeping on her forehead) but Robin didn’t seem to mind. In fact she hardly recongized she had hair anyway. Nancy stopped worrying about curlers and perms. Her hair grew stringy and straight, the way it had been when Barb was there to brush it out.

Robin liked her hair nonetheless. When they got the chance in between chasing breaths of tumultuous air, Robin would comb out Nancy’s wet hair and press kisses to her neck. All the way down her exposed spine, the way her pale skin curved around her back. The little birthmark on her left side. Robin loved it all. Nancy loved the way Robin’s hands, slightly larger than hers and knobbier at the knuckles, felt pressed into her skin. When they softly tugged at the skin on Nancy’s neck, dancing along the spare freckles  When Robin’s fingers skated down her bare arms, laughing lowly into Nancy’s ear as she felt up the goosebumps she caused.

Later, hair mussed up and spread out onto pillowcases above them, Nancy tried her best to fold her body completely into Robin’s. Sometimes it felt like it was about to work - her legs to her legs, her arms clasped against Robin’s chest, Nancy’s face pressed to her collarbone. But they never got nearly close enough. It was never enough. Not for lack of effort - their fingers pulled and left marks in respective skin. There was something they couldn’t bypass. But they could get close enough. 

On days where going outside was unfathomable, Nancy and Robin curled up in her bed and read to each other. Robin was especially good at doing voices for comic books they snatched from Mike’s bed (who spent most of his days at the Byers’ new house on Apple Avenue, anyway), but she didn’t have the attention span for the thick classics Nancy preferred. So Nancy read those aloud instead, and textbooks too - prepping them for college days that might never come. Learning with each other to ignore the oncoming assault outside.

When they were in the thick of it, covered in blood and sweat and faces slick with tears, Robin had found Nancy. In between family and ex-boyfriends and brothers Robin pulled her close and tried to fold them together. Nancy let her. She looked up at her with galaxies in her eyes. It was like touching a cloud. They came really, really close. The ground shook and Robin lifted up a jacket-covered arm to protect herself and Nancy, cowering underneath the shield and sticking together. Nancy’s sweaty, frantic kiss landed more on the side of Robin’s mouth rather than her actual lips. It was heaven on Earth.

And when it was finally over and Hawkins was allowed to take a breath, Robin interlocked her fingers with Nancy and stepped away from the gates of Hell. In the hospital, patched up for minor injuries and bouncing their knees in worry for the others with more life-threatening conditions, their fingers stayed interlocked. Nancy Wheeler’s bony, pale hand. Robin Buckley’s tanner, longer fingers. They mushed together in the middle. It felt almost inhumane to spilt at this point.

Walking down what used to be Main Street, showered and not as sweaty but still completely devastated, Robin pulled Nancy into her side. And she said, whispered nearly inaudibly into the strands of Nancy’s ponytailed hair:

“I’m glad it was you.” Nancy looked up from where she’d pressed her face square to Robin’s chest with a soft, innocent smile on her face. She was twenty and she felt sixteen. Time reversed in Robin’s arms and for a moment, waiting for the crosswalk light to change even though there was no chance of a car going down the street, they were kids. Idiots. Unaware. She wrapped an arm around Robin’s waist in reply and squeezed.

“I’m glad it was me, too,” Nancy agreed. Robin couldn’t stand looking into those big, brown eyes anymore, so instead she laughed and pulled Nancy in closer. They walked home no longer two separate girls but one four-legged lovesick animal. Nancy was not Nancy and Robin was not Robin. They were just two people, tow women. Going nowhere and having nothing to do. It was the first breath of fresh air they’d both taken in years.

Nancy is very frustrated in this scene at the Library because Robin is being very snarky about being there on a “shot in the dark”. Robin (and some people in the fandom) have misinterpreted this (imo) as Nancy being annoyed at Robin because Robin is with Steve all the time/is jealous, this isn’t what’s happening here, Nancy is annoyed at Robin because she doesn’t believe her theory will go anywhere, Nancy shows this same frustration at Jonathan in season 3 with the rat storyline, Jonathan wouldn’t listen to her, her bosses wouldn’t listen, but she knew something was going on. It’s the same here although this time she’s being more lowkey about it, she only has Robin with her so she isn’t alone with Vecna out there, and only because Robin couldn’t drive Steve’s car was it Robin that was with Nancy (I’m actually so glad the writers made this choice here). They’ve been thrown together really without having had much previous interaction and no solo interaction.

They arrive at the Library. Robin is being her usual inquisitive self and asking Nancy what they’re looking into. When Nancy explains about Victor Creel Robin doesn’t look convinced.

Robin: I just thought by shot in the dark you were being modest or hiding something super solid up your sleeve that you were gonna wow us with later but this is truly a shot. in. the. dark...

Interesting Robin thinks so highly of Nancy.

Then Robin has this look:

This is important because we hardly ever see Robin think about what she’s just said, she often says out of pocket things but rarely (if ever?) does she feel the need to explain herself to people, so why Nancy? Then this exchange happens:

Robin: Did I come off mean or condescending or something?

Nancy: No

Robin: Right sorry… it's just.. you seem annoyed. You don't know me very well, I don't really have a filter or a strong grasp of social cues

Nancy: Okay

Robin: So just know that if I say something that upsets you just know that I know that it’s a flaw, believe me my mother reminds me daily

Nancy: (polite but firm) Got it

Librarian: (with keys to the archives) Here you go ladies, have fun

Nancy: We’ll try

The librarian and Robin then share a look of “eh yikes I pissed off the Mrs” if I ever saw lol

Next Scene

Nancy is frustrated at the lack of anything, they’re coming up with nothing, she’s starting to believe this might all just be stupid.

Robin: What is it we’re looking for exactly?

*Nancy ignores her*

Robin: Nance?….Nance?… *knocks on the side*

Nancy: I don’t know, okay? It’s starting to feel like this is just a big waste of time and you’re obviously bored so why don’t you just call Steve, I’m sure he’ll come pick you up and I’m not really in danger here so…

Robin is shocked, thinking Nancy is jealous. I don’t see this as jealousy towards her, I believe Nancy is genuinely frustrated about not finding anything on the demon Victor spoke of. In the next scene she is very surprised.

Robin: You know that me and Steve are like totally not a thing, right?

Nancy: What?

Nancy looks genuinely confused Robin brought this up, she either thought their was something happening between them and genuinely is shocked to hear Robin say their isn’t or she didn’t realise how what she just said may have sounded. It could be either, or a mix of both, but that doesn’t mean she’s interested in Steve, I believe this is the beginning of Nancy working out Robins sexuality. I also think Nancy didn’t mean for it to sound jealous but she probably thought they had a thing and he frustration could come from a place of general annoyance that her relationship with Jonathan isn’t going well.

You can say I’m wrong but I say this is up to interpretation and this is how I interpreted the scene, people might say but oh it seemed like Nancy had feelings for Steve in season 4, no, I disagree, it showed she will always care for him but that they are two very different people who want different things in life. Anyway…

(Look at this gif, Nancy you’re smiling babe🥰)

Robin: So I figure that you and Jonathan are still going strong cause you guys are going to college together and you’re like one of those unstoppable power couples

Nancys reaction:

We know Nancy and Jonathan are having a hard time, he chose not to visit and she also chose to stay and work. They are not what people seem to think they are, this seems to kind of surprise Nancy, but she doesn’t talk to anyone about their relationship problems! Nancy hasn’t had a close female friendship since Barb! Just saying this here because I have some feelings about it :(

Robin: …but I just wanted to make sure that you knew that Steve and I are just friends…like platonic with a capital P…incase that was adding any tension between us

Nancy: Wasn’t

Nancy seems annoyed Robin even brought this up, but honestly I think she’s more pissed off at the mention of her and Jonathan as she’s confused about their relationship at this point.

This is the start of the two beginning to bond, the next scene is when Nancy actually begins to take Robin more seriously, once she suggests looking in Weekly Watcher.

NEXT UP:

Nancy and Robin in the epilogue!

“She had them,” Steve mused. “And so did I. So she probably did. I can’t remember.”

“You are useless,” Robin went ahead and hissed the last word, mushing their faces together once more. She was sweating like a pig, all nervous energy and excited rage. “T minus thirty minutes. Should I brush my teeth?”

“I think you should calm down,” Steve said, peeling her hand away from where it latched like a vice onto his arm. He squeezed her fingers in his bigger palm, an attempt to calm her down that was sadly in vain. Robin could spin herself out like nobody’s business and she appeared to be in the midst of a F5 breakdown. “Nancy’s not gonna like it if you’re soaking her.”

“Does my breath smell nice?” Robin breathed directly onto his nose as a test. Steve grimaced and dropped her hand, waving her away half-heartedly.

“Never do that again,” He said, a finger to her chest in emphasis.

“But does it smell nice?” Robin asked again. Steve deliberated. She smelled like girl, a general smell that he tended to rather like. Whether or not Nancy would was the question. 

Even though he knew she would, because Nancy adored everything that had to do with Robin. Steve supposed that’s where the phrase ‘crazy in love’ came from, because half of the things Nancy went mad about were things he could barely tolerate about Robin. In a loving way, obviously. 

Their scientific experiment was interrupted by a stomping Will Byers, who came down Steve’s stairs in a rush of adrenaline and Child’s-First-Tipsy. 

“Have you seen Mike?” Will said, practically snorting fire out of his nostrils. Steve shrugged unhelpfully.

“Back porch,” Robin supplied, pressing her drink to the corner of her lip absently. “Have you seen Nancy?”

“Last I saw, she was out by her car,” Will said; the exchange of priceless, gay-crush information a silent agreement.

“By herself?” 

“With Jonathan,” Will said, sadder this time. He gave Robin a pitying smile before turning heel and breaking into a run, nearly crashing into the kitchen wall with the force of his sprint. Whatever he needed Mike for, it was urgent. Robin turned to Steve with an utterly devastated look on her face.

“She’s with Jonathan,” Robin groaned dramatically.

“I heard,” Steve empathized, slugging an arm around Robin’s shoulder. His eyes glazed back over to the tv, where the Go-Gos were performing. They were pretty good. “I also heard they broke up.”

“Of course they broke up,” Robin snapped, rolling her eyes. “But that doesn’t mean he’s also not looking for a New Year’s kiss. High school relationships are fickle like that.”

“But yours and Nancy’s won’t be?” Steve asked, laughing.

“It’s different,” Robin argued, face flushing from both the intolerable heat of the living room and her embarrassment. 

“I’m sure his breath doesn’t smell half as nice as yours,” Steve promised. Robin sighed and glanced over her shoulder, as if waiting for Nancy to appear in the doorway that very moment. When the second passed and the door stayed firmly shut, she turned back to Steve with a shake of her head. They clicked red solo cups. He settled in to watch the ball drop.

11:40 PM

“Jonathan and Nancy broke up, right?” Robin’s question came from her left side. Max practically jumped six feet in the air.

She’d been relaxing, sprawled out on the outdoor couch and content to listen for splashing sounds. She knew Lucas and Will had jumped in the pool a few minutes before, having heard them come up for air and tease each other about the skill of their cannonballs. The pain of not being able to see them perform said cannonballs was dulling, a welcome reminder that time tended to heal all wounds. She liked hearing them laugh, anyway. 

But getting used to being rendered completely blind in both eyes didn’t mean she could metaphysically sense when somebody showed up. Her friends had started to announce themselves when they got closer, a habit Max didn’t care enough to break. Robin, however, had never learned to do that. She simply appeared in Max’s subconscious, usually halfway to a panic attack. 

“Yes,” Max confirmed once she’d gotten her rabbit’s heart down to a normal pace. Her hand reached out into the darkness, spasming. Robin’s furnace fingers touched hers and they clasped together, a welcome ‘hello’ for the new year. Her unspoken longer sentence was: Because she’s in love with you, dumbass.

“Good,” Robin breathed out through her nose, squeezing Max’s hand. Max felt the couch deepen beside her, Robin’s jacket-covered shoulder pressing against hers and their sneakers colliding on the concrete.

“Are you finally gonna kiss her?” Max asked. Robin’s sharp intake of breath was loud in her ear, all frightened. Like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi-truck. Max fought back the urge to smirk and instead removed her hand from Robin’s to pat at her knee comfortingly.

“Yes,” Robin rushed out all at once, a release of air and admittance. “Yes. Am I crazy?”

“I think it’s overdue,” Max allowed, which was a total understatement. 

Robin and Nancy’s unspoken feelings for each other were becoming practically unbearable for the group at large to handle, but especially for Max. Both older girls came to her for advice and vice versa - so she’d been hearing them gush about each other for months on months. It got tiring the first go around. Now she was just about sick of it, nearly on the verge of confessing to Robin all those sappy and honey-covered things Nancy waxed poetic about. Maybe that was the push they needed. Or maybe Robin was finally gonna get her shit together. Max had been praying for it.

“Do you think she’ll kiss back?” Robin asked. The telltale click of her biting off an already short fingernail followed.

“I know she will,” Max said. She knew Robin wouldn’t take her seriously. Still, Robin hummed in agreement. Together they sat listening to the boys in the water. “What time is it?”

“11:42,” Robin supplied quickly, no doubt glancing down at her military watch. “When is it too early to go looking for her?” 

“I’d say you should find her soon,” Max said after a moment of consideration. “You don’t want to miss the ball drop.”

“Very smart,” Robin said. Max felt the couch relax as she stood up, grunting as she stretched in the chilly night air. “Very smart. You’re smarter than I am.”

“Is that a surprise?” Max asked, but she knew she was speaking to the empty air. She smiled, a small private one for herself, and desperately hoped Robin would finally end this terrible back-and-forth once and for all. If she didn’t psych herself out at the last second, that is.

11:50 PM

“Have you seen Nance?” Robin asked. Argyle shook his head, eyes now completely tinted with red and hair a mess.

“Maybe upstairs?” He suggested, gesturing with the pace of a sloth to the stairwell behind them. Robin nodded absently, turning on her heel and trudging up. 

Logically she knew there were only so many places Nancy could be. Nancy’s whispered confessions and secrets over the crest of pink-covered pillows told Robin she had certain places she avoided when the group spent time at Steve’s house. She hardly spent any time by the pool. She didn’t go near his bedroom. 

He was rich but he wasn’t megarich. His house was bigger than anything else Robin had stepped foot into, and sometimes she thought she might get permanently lost with the identical white doors and plethora of matching family portraits. But Nancy had to be somewhere. And Robin had to find her. 

She walked up the stairs with the determination of a suicide bomber, knowing her mission was likely to ultimately fail and carrying herself to doom nonetheless. Surely Max was telling the truth when she confirmed Nancy and Jon had broken up. Though if it were true, it was only one obstacle on the track - the second being a much larger, more complex hump.

Robin had no idea if Nancy liked her back. There were moments, little bits in time, where she’d managed to convince herself there could be something between them more than female friendship and trauma bonding. On the frequent nights spent sleeping over in Robin’s   cramped twin bed, Nancy would fling her legs out over Robin’s and cuddle up close to her. Did regular girls do that with each other? Robin had no fucking idea.

Or the way Nancy looked at her sometimes, especially at night - under street lamps as they walked through their old neighborhoods and discussed their separated childhoods. Discussed their united college experiences, both deciding to attend the much closer and safer option of University of Indianapolis. The way their gloved hands tended to brush on colder nights, pressed shoulder-to-shoulder for warmth. When they ordered takeout and Nancy gave Robin bites off her fork without Robin even having to ask, remembering that she liked lo mein but not the steamed carrots in her order of vegetables.

It all seemed to stack up. Maybe Robin was drunk. Maybe she was delusional. At this point, she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Her crush on Nancy Wheeler was so overpowering that, though it was difficult to admit, it would hurt more to continue having to stand beside the most beautiful girl on the face of the earth than actually confess her feelings for her. Robin sucked in a deep breath as she reached the top of the stairs, peeking around into the dark hallway. Hopefully she found nobody having sex. Hopefully she found Nancy and hopefully, hopefully Nancy would kiss her back.

11:54 PM

Nancy was not upstairs, but Steve and Eddie certainly were, and Robin was never going to be able to get that image out of her head. As she stumbled back down the dimly lit hallway, pulling her sweater to her chest and grimacing to herself, Robin racked her brain. Where could Nancy possibly be hiding? Could a portal to the Upside-Down have opened up underneath her, removing her from the party? Would Vecna be that cruel and unusual?

As Robin stormed past the blaring television, where Argyle and Jonathan had sprawled out on Steve’s pleather couch to watch, she could hear the crowd cheering on the ball drop. T minus five minutes until Robin had to spend another year helplessly alone.

“Nancy?” She called out to nobody in particular, rounding her way through Steve’s empty dining room and back into his kitchen. There she found Will up on the counter, in a much better mood than he had been twenty minutes prior, swinging his legs and talking to his sister. “Have you guys seen Nancy?”

“Sorry, I told you where I last saw her,” Will said, shrugging. “If she’s not by her car, I have no idea.” Robin realized she hadn’t checked outside. El didn’t speak, she just took a sip from her twisty straw cup and smiled, pleased, at Robin. Robin couldn’t help but reach over and ruffle their hair before ducking away and rushing outside.

“Don’t forget to come in for the ball drop!” El spoke up in that soft voice after her as she ran through the patio door.

She passed Max and Lucas at the pool, no doubt making out or on the verge. Robin nearly broke the hinge on the wooden fence gate as she went, leaving it to swing behind her as she stepped out into Steve’s front yard. The street was alight with houses celebrating New Years’ similarly to theirs, streetlights with no warning blink and roads empty for the night. She stumbled down the lawn, glancing at every passing shadow with her eyes narrowed.

11:55 PM

“Nancy?” Robin shouted, hands on her hips. The space by her car was void of a person, Jonathan or Nancy. So clearly she’d moved on. As Robin walked back to the house, she heard the familiar pitter of flats on pavement. 

She burst back through the patio gate to find Nancy on the opposite end of the backyard, shrouded in the light from the immense amount of Christmas lights Steve kept strung up year-round. 

11:56 PM

Robin sprinted along the poolside, skidding across pavement to reach Nancy in time. The girl in question glanced up from where she’d been focused on watching the stars, eyes bright and beautiful and dilated. Her brown eyes felt like oceans at this point. Robin was teetering on the edge of falling in.

“Nance,” Robin began, realizing with embarrassment that she was out of breath from her sprint across the house. Nancy blinked in acknowledgement, smiling that beautiful pink-lipped smile. Her lips looked glossy in the moonlight, face stained by the gray light. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

11:57 PM

“Why?” Nancy asked with a twinkling laugh, stepping closer to Robin. Her hand came out to smooth down a part of Robin’s shirt she hadn’t realized she’d ruffled - her turtleneck halfway up against her pale neck. Nancy pulled down the fabric and smoothed out both hands across Robin’s shoulders, looking proud that she’d cleaned her up. Robin could barely swallow down her fear, let alone make any proper sentences. Nancy’s face was so close to hers now. It was to an unbearable degree.

“I have something to tell you,” Robin admitted shakily, glancing back at the house. She could hear their friends all gathering in the living room, no doubt surrounding Steve’s television and cheering on the oncoming ball drop. She ignored them, shaking her head and pulling her focus back to Nance.

11:58 PM

Because, in the end, Nancy was just a girl. She was just a girl shrouded in moonlight, looking up at Robin with that mesmerizing face of hers and a giggle on the end of her tongue. Nancy’s wide-eyed expression brought with it an intoxicating feeling Robin never wanted to be rid of. Her hands drifted up to stop Nancy’s from leaving the place they’d settled in on her sweater, pulling them down to clasp them over her chest. Nancy’s eyes, swift and detective-like, followed the movement curiously.

“I-” Robin felt herself faltering and kicked herself for doing so. It was hard to string words together in the presence of Nancy. For all her anxious sputtering and running around, when it got down to it she tended to be utterly speechless - case in point. “I, um.”

11:59 PM

“Yes?” Nancy pressed, dark eyebrows raised playfully. Robin’s mouth was desert-dry. She swallowed again and shut her eyes. No more time to fret over it. She needed to do this.

The dim shouts of their friends counting down the last minute before 1987 officially got rung in spurned her on. Robin reopened her eyes to find Nancy inches closer, their noses pressed together. 

She was just Nancy. Robin let go of Nancy’s hands to hold onto her face, fingertips pressing down the corners of her ears and thumbs brushing over the familiar blush. Nancy’s eyes went wide by a decimal, and then narrowed. In challenge. In agreement.

“I wanted to say,” Robin began again. Suddenly fireworks erupted above them, no doubt set off by one of Steve’s obnoxious neighbors.

12:00 AM

“I wanted to say,” Robin repeated for the last time. She wouldn’t let herself be shaken. Neither girl bothered to look up at the sky. “Happy New Year, Nance.” Robin steeled her jaw and leaned in. Unbelievably and dream-like, Nancy met her halfway.

Robin nearly fell over from the force of Nancy’s kiss, hands dropping from Nancy’s face to wind themselves around her waist. Their sweater fabrics brushed together as Nancy tilted her head, balance and access coming together underneath the stars. Robin pulled her impossibly closer and sighed into Nancy’s mouth. It felt like fireworks behind her eyes. It felt like the celebration was in her head.

“Happy New Year,” Nancy whispered into Robin’s lips, her big eyes only about a centimeter away. Robin didn’t know which one to focus on. “Were you looking for me to do that?”

“Yeah,” Robin admitted. Nancy laughed into her mouth, pressing a small kiss to the corner and then pressing back tenfold. When they came up for air again, Nancy was still laughing. “What?”

“I was looking for you, too,” Nancy admitted with a sly grin. Robin chuckled and closed her eyes, forehead to Nancy’s. 

“Great minds think alike,” Robin said. Nancy nodded solemnly, pressing another kiss to Robin’s jaw.

“Do you know what I’m thinking now?” Nancy asked, eyes suddenly alight with a mischief that had Robin’s stomach churning in excitement. More fireworks above them crackled and now she couldn’t resist turning her head up to watch, bright colors exploding against a backdrop of black. A new year cleansed of the Upside-Down. The perfect girl in her arms. All in all, a pretty good night. Robin grinned as she watched them explode one by one. 

She felt a hand on her chin then, longer fingernails pressed against her cheek. She let Nancy guide her head back down, feeling oddly chastised. 

“I have no idea,” Robin admitted. Nancy winked.

“Take a guess,” She murmured before leaning in again. Robin’s hands found their way up her back, into her hair. Feeling her everywhere. Although the kiss was hard to maintain when they were both grinning so hard.

-The four girls have sleepovers in the Wheeler basement and crank call their friends (usually Steve)

-Max attempts to teach Robin how to skate. It doesn't go well

-Robin helps dye El's hair funky non-permanent colors as it grows out

-After going through her bedroom, Nancy gives El a bunch of her old favorite books (including Frankenstein, which El takes a liking to)

-Max visits Family Video after school and Robin lets her sit on the counter so she can watch whatever VHS they put on that day

-The four go camping in Robin's backyard and watch the stars together

-Nancy introduces El to the newspaper staff and buys her a used camera when they discover her talent for photography

-El then takes pictures constantly and Robin helps her make a scrapbook of all of them

-Max accidentally calls Nancy 'mom' after Nancy comes to pick her up really late at night and comforts her post-nightmare

-Nancy tries not to cry in front of her over it

-They'll regularly talk about plans when the boys are around to purposefully bother them

-Robin and Nancy drive El to visit the abandoned Hawkins Lab and lay flowers for El's mother there

-When El and Max hang out just the two of them, they'll spy on Robin and Nancy through interdimensional travel because they're nosy little shits

-Which leads to some awkward conversations about boundaries

-El makes them all matching friendship bracelets

-When Nancy goes to college, she has a set date and time that she calls the girls every week (and she calls Robin separately every day)

-Max gets a solo in the band and Robin is way more excited about it than she is

-They take the dog that lives by Max on walks

-El and Max will steal Nancy's fries but she never calls them out on it

-They pay for Max's food at group gatherings without question

-Robin reads comics to the three. She's very good at doing voices

-They set up a code to say into the phone when one of the girls is feeling bad and needs company

-Once El calls Robin and says the code. Robin picks her up and they get late-night milkshakes together and El tells her all about her long-lost sister, Kali

-Max is very defensive about Nancy and Robin's relationship and will beat up anybody who says anything negative

-After one of these fights Max gets called down to the office but she phones Nancy instead of her actual mom. Nancy comes in and takes her home

-El pierces Robin's ears and she's very dramatic about it

Every excruciating detail of that night (November 23rd, to be specific) replayed over and over again. Robin would close her eyes to go to sleep and see Nancy’s big doe eyes in front of hers, looking up through her eyelashes and asking her if she

(“-wanted to see the stars from the roof.” Nancy’s shirt was soaked in sweat and it clung to her tiny frame. Robin’s eyes were crossing, she was so focused on not looking down lower than was appropriate. Of course she said yes.)

She rewatched Dirty Dancing with Steve for the thousandth time and remembered the feeling of Nancy’s hot waist against her palm, their chests pressed together. It’d been a party. The only good party Robin had ever been to.

And it’d been a perfect night. Something Robin had promised herself she wouldn’t forget, no matter how sloppy drunk she was by the time Nancy yanked their mouths together in an open embrace. Now she regretted that promise. She hated her younger self for making it. It seemed the universe had taken it seriously, because she wasn’t going to forget anytime soon and it was killing her inside.

“So,” Steve started, forgoing a greeting as Robin slumped over in the passenger seat on the way back from the train station. Through the panes on his trusty BMW she could see small flurries of snow, promising a welcome return from her first semester at college. If only her stomach would calm down - it’d been churning for a month at this point and she couldn’t take it any longer. “What’s up.” There was no question mark. It was a statement.

“The sky,” Robin said, because she was an idiot. She ducked out of the way of Steve’s large hand swooping in to ruffle her hair in pleased annoyance. “I dunno, dude. Why are you being so weird? I just got here.”

“Something’s off,” Steve insisted, pulling out of his parking spot without so much as a glance behind him and speeding off back to Hawkins. Robin gripped her seatbelt. She knew, realistically, he wasn’t going any faster than he usually would. She still had the urge to ask him to instead crawl along the road. Maybe to stop and let her walk the rest of the way. Walk back to the train station and change her name.

“I just got here,” Robin repeated with more intensity this time. “You’ve seen me for five seconds.”

“Five minutes,” Steve amended. “I helped you lug all your shit into my car and watched you watch me toss it into my trunk.”

“You’re a big boy, you can handle it,” Robin replied. Steve’s hand, which had been flailing around blindly looking for her hair, settled on her hand and squeezed comfortingly.

“What’s going on?” He asked, casually slamming on the brakes so hard Robin nearly got herself flung through the windshield. His hand on hers kept her grounded, though. It usually did.

“Nothing,” Robin said, a bit too fast and a bit too scared. She refocused on the window, unable to stop herself from running over the same five lines of dialogue she’d been mourning since that awful night.

You look cold.

I am.

Come closer. You can come closer than that.

How close do you want me?

“Robin?” Steve’s voice was warbly and faded. She blinked and returned to the present, holding hands with Steve Harrington as he drove her to her death sentence. She sighed and considered, realistically, how long she thought she’d be able to hide this from him. “You can tell me.” His puppy dog eyes carved at her soul. Mentally she sent up a prayer to herself and opened her mouth.

“Nancy and I kissed,” Robin said. It was the first time she’d said it aloud. It hung in the stuffy air of the car, unquestionable. A true event. Steve pursed his lips, his thinking face. Then he hummed in consideration. Robin watched the words hang in the air with a growing sense of anxiety. Now that they were truly out in the open, how would she be able to avoid them? 

I want you closer than physically possible, Robin. I want you everywhere. 

“It was a matter of time,” Steve said, tapping out a little rhythm on his steering wheel. He was completely oblivious to Robin’s gobsmacked expression, as she stared incredulously at her best friend.

“What do you mean ‘matter of time’?” She asked, eyebrows raised. Steve shrugged.

“I dunno, I guess,” He sighed and flicked on his left turn signal, nearing Robin’s childhood street. “When you guys are together, I feel it.”

“Feel what?” Robin asked, heart in her throat. Steve looked at her just as the light turned green. He smiled encouragingly, softly. He squeezed her hand again.

“The electricity.”

* * *

Later that night, though she’d begged Steve not to, he threw a party in her homecoming favor. All the older teenagers had ended up around Hawkins within a week or so of her coming home - as if they’d been waiting for Robin to return. She couldn’t take it any longer. Steve’s house, once a safe haven, now became her jail cell. Robin sprawled out on his couch beside a tipsy Eddie and a red-rimmed Jonathan, miserably waiting for the next time that front door swung open and in walked the most beautiful girl in the world. 

The most beautiful girl she’d never kiss again. Her sighs of self despair were muffled by the leather couch arm. Eddie’s head slumped over onto her shoulder and he hummed into her shirt comfortingly, completely unaware of the situation and yet very supportive. She patted his hair. Her eyes stayed glued to the front door.

The last time she’d been at a party that both she and the girl in question were attending, It happened. Whether or not it would happen again was out of the question. She was more worried about the volcano of anxiety bubbling in her chest - when would it erupt and would Nancy see? What would Nancy say? Robin knew, logically, that Nancy hadn’t not enjoyed the kiss. It had been consensual. It had also been a wasted decision. 

“Nance!” Steve’s voice echoed from the doorway, and Robin both cursed and supported the fact that the front door swung open to hide Nancy from her view. “So good to see you.”

“Hi, Steve.” Just her voice had Robin on her knees. The perfect amount of soft and low.

Rob, you’re - you’re just -

“Hi, Nance!” Eddie cheered from Robin’s side, falling practically onto her lap in his haste to reach her. Robin didn’t blame him - she felt the same. Her arms had moved on instinct, raising themselves to embrace Nancy like the second coming of Christ. But Nancy was just a girl.

A beautiful girl standing in the doorway to Steve’s foyer, hand on her back and smile on her face. She was glancing around the rooms, eyes darting from friend to friend. Robin tried to hold back her sweat as she anticipated Nancy’s eye contact, something she’d been desperately waiting for. 

Nancy’s eyes shuttered on Robin, as if surprised she were there; even though the party was meant for her. Something in Nancy’s face stopped short, the smile faltering, her eyes swimming with an emotion unrecognizable. Heavy. Knowing. Robin’s breath caught in her throat. Did she -

“How was your first semester?” Jon asked from his sprawled place on the opposite side of the room, lazing in Steve’s big leather chair. Nancy blinked and suddenly all tension broke. With the turn of her head she slapped the breath from Robin’s lungs, leaving her heaving on the couch and desperate for contact.

“It was fine,” Nancy said, but her voice was all stilted. Not the ease she’d had when talking to Steve. Robin’s stomach churned for an entirely different, but just as unwanted, reason. She knew. She knew. “Fine.”

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Robin all but shouted, effectively shoving Eddie off her shoulder and pushing him nearly to the floor in the process. She scrambled to her feet and decisively ignored all strange looks from her friends. “So. Yes. Bathroom.”

“Robin-” Steve’s voice disappeared as she raced out of the living room and into the kitchen, effectively avoiding having to go past Nancy. Her hand had just reached the bathroom doorknob before another much softer, paler hand cut hers off. 

Robin’s head whipped up to see Nancy’s mere inches from her own, all too familiar and nearly heart-breaking. She dropped her hand as if she’d been burnt.

“Nance,” Robin said shakily. 

“I think we need to talk,” Nancy said, and she looked as sick as Robin felt. 

“Here?” Robin asked, but she’d already resigned herself to following Nancy out onto Steve’s patio. She’d follow Nancy anywhere. When they’d stumbled out onto the stone flooring, hit by the intense cold, Robin could feel goosebumps. Whether or not they were caused by the wind, she wasn’t sure. She watched Nancy pull her arms close to her chest for warmth. 

You look cold.

“Do you remember that Thanksgiving party Jon threw?” Nancy began, shuffling on her feet and looking resolutely at the linoleum. In Robin’s mind, two possible paths arose. One: deny, deny, deny. Stomp out all memories of that night. Refuse to accept that Nancy remembered, whatever she did remember. Two: Accept her fate at the gates of Hell and nod a yes.

Robin reluctantly went for the latter. She was nodding before she even truly realized.

“Do you remember what happened?” Nancy pressed. Her eyes, shut resolutely for a second, reopened in all their glory. Robin found herself drifting closer without meaning to, eye contact stuttering her heart in her chest. She nodded again. “Will you say anything?”

“I’m not sure what to say,” Robin admitted quietly. She took another step forward. Nancy didn’t move back, but her arms tightened across her chest. “I didn’t - I don’t want to ruin our friendship. You’re so important to me, Nance.”

“So are you,” Nancy replied resolutely. The way her eyes looked between her eyelashes was heart-breaking. Robin never wanted to stop looking at her like that. Her hands twitched at her sides, desperate for physical contact. “But…I can’t. I remember everything.”

“So do I,” Robin said. They watched each other for a moment. 

“Then why are we…?” Nancy drifted off. She gestured between them, questioning. 

“Do you want to-?” Robin asked. She laughed self-deprecatingly and ran a hand through her hair, dropping her bangs off against her ears. “We can’t finish sentences, apparently.”

“I do,” Nancy said, running over Robin’s second sentence to get her own words out. After watching her for a pause, Robin took another cautious step forward. She was standing in front of Nancy now, chest nearly to her crossed arms, hovering and waiting. 

“Are you cold?” Robin asked. Nancy’s lips moved with a hint of a smile. Perhaps she would have grinned if Robin had given her the time. But she hadn’t, lunging forward to scoop Nancy up into a kiss before she could do anything but breathe.

Nancy’s arms were unwound from her chest and tossed around Robin’s neck immediately, tugging her impossibly closer. The grin, previously buried by Robin’s sneak attack, appeared in full force. It felt so warm to kiss. Robin pressed in deeper, fingers digging into Nancy’s waist. She tasted like winter. For the first time in a month, Robin remembered why exactly she’d been so desperate to commit this to memory. 

“Why did we wait a month to do that again?” Nancy murmured against her lips. Robin shrugged, running her long fingers down Nancy’s spine and enjoying the way she shivered against her.

She, though not admitted to aloud, was very glad Steve had stayed behind as proper backup with Eddie and Dustin. Though it’d been a fight to convince Steve she and Robin would be ‘fine’ (as fine as one can be in an alternate dimension), she’d managed to make him stay put. Nancy suspected that, had he come with them as the original plan intended, the silence would be long dead. Somehow Robin knew without words when Nancy needed to be alone. Perhaps Robin needed that gap in conversation as well - she seemed intensely focused on whatever she was doing up ahead.

Nancy watched Robin tuck an absent hair behind her ear as she stalked forward. Her whole face was tilted up to the starless sky, eyebrows furrowed around faded freckles. Though she was at a bit of a distance Nancy could still see the lines in her forehead. She, half-drunk from exhaustion and the fumes of the Upside-Down, beat down the irrational urge to reach out a finger and smooth said lines down. Seeing Robin frown, even in confusion, was almost as disorienting as the location itself.

“You think we’re almost there?” Robin asked, spinning with a frenzied jump as her words caused a group of strange bird-like creatures to fly out from the leafless trees above. She waited in the middle of the path for Nancy to catch up. Her fingers twitched anxiously at her sides, empty.

Nancy shrugged wordlessly as she jogged to catch up to Robin, peering out into the dark forest as if they’d be able to see anything truly worthwhile. 

“‘Cause, you know. It’d be really stupid if we were walking all this way just to not get there in time,” Robin said. Her voice began to pick up speed in a way Nancy was starting to recognize. “I mean, we start the plan, right? What if we never get there? What’s gonna happen? We let down the whole group just ‘cause we got lost in some stupid fucking extraterrestrial woods?”

“We’ll be fine,” Nancy soothed. They started walking again. “You can see the swarming bats above the trees - right there. See?” She pointed in its direction, but her eyes couldn’t help dragging back to Robin’s face. Specifically, to watch the way her bug-eyes widened to follow Nancy’s arm. Her bottom lip looked thoroughly tugged on, no doubt out of anxiety. Nancy wasn’t altogether sure why she’d noticed that.

“Right.” Robin let out a little huff of relief. It wasn’t long before she begun talking again, the space between them heavy with toxic energy that needed to be dispelled. The smell of the Upside-Down was starting to get to Nancy - she held up a hand in front of her nose, though it helped only slightly. “You think fire’ll really get him?”

“What else could we do?” Nancy replied easily, gesturing to the shotgun slung over her back absently. “Not like we could get the US calvary down here. Besides, it worked on the demogorgon.” She took in Robin’s anxious expression and knocked their shoulders together comfortingly. Nancy had never been too good at comforting people, but something about Robin’s general presence made it easy to step down and understand her.

“Are you insulting your own Molotov skills?” Nancy continued in a teasing tone. Robin laughed, happy for the excuse to. 

“I’ll have you know, these bad boys were crafted with expert hands,” Robin retorted, patting her pack protectively. “When I was a kid, I - ugh. It’s stupid.”

“Robin,” Nancy chided. She gestured to their general surroundings. “Who’s listening?”

“I value your opinion of me very much,” Robin replied, aiming for a joke and landing somewhere in between. Nancy found herself not minding very much. “Alright, fine. When I was a kid, I was absolutely terrified of fire.”

“Yeah?”

“If my mom’d lit a candle, I’d be right behind her to blow it out. I refused any kind of candle on my birthday cakes - not even one! When the power went out, I’d sit in the dark instead of lighting a candle. And campfires…don’t even get me started on campfires,” Robin spoke through self-deprecating laughter, burying her head in her hands. 

“What about campfires?” Nancy asked. She couldn’t help but laugh along, really laugh. Really laugh for the first time in days - weeks. It was so silly. She could picture a little Robin, petulant with her arms across her chest, eyes averted from a decorated cake. 

“Girl scout camp, fifth grade.” Robin’s groan was muffled by her palms. She lifted her head up to shake it, smiling bashfully over at Nancy. In the dim light, half of her face was shrouded and half of it was clear. Her clear eye sparkled. The dim part of her nose looked almost sculpted. 

“I guess I shouldn’t ask,” Nancy said, swallowing from how suddenly dry her mouth had gotten. “But I really, really want to.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll promise you this: if we make it out, I’ll tell you the rest,” Robin offered. The emphasis on if was heavy to both, but neither mentioned it. “Yeah?” Nancy gave her a soft smile in agreement.

“Yeah,” She said. Robin held out a pinky. She wiggled it for emphasis. Nancy rolled her eyes, an action that grew more and more fond the more time she spent in Robin’s company. She met her halfway, pinky to pinky and then intertwined. Nancy liked the heat that radiated off Robin’s finger. It pressed against hers. She wondered what it would feel like to have the entirety of her hand wrapped around hers, furnace that she was.

The toe of Nancy’s foot caught on a particularly stubborn root of a nearby tree. She yelped as she went tumbling to the floor of the Upside-Down. The pinky promise turned into a rapid hand hold in the process.

Robin caught Nancy inches away from crashing and upsetting a vine directly below their feet. One hand occupied by Nancy’s, she reached out the other to wrap around Nancy’s waist. Nancy widened her eyes once she saw just how close their faces had gotten in the scramble to catch her. Their noses were nearly touching. Robin’s satchel hit the side of Nancy’s hip softly, having gotten dislodged from its placement by Robin’s leg. 

They only had a momentary pause in that position (to breathe, maybe) before Robin was yanking Nancy back onto unsteady feet. Her fingers spread out onto the small of Nancy’s back protectively. Nancy, dimly, realized she’d been right - Robin was warm all over.

“Thanks,” Nancy managed. 

“I thought I was supposed to be the clumsy one,” Robin joked, grin making her freckles stretch out across her cheeks like constellations. She dropped Nancy’s hand hold but kept the one on her back, as if she didn’t trust Nancy to be able to take her first steps by herself. If it’d been anyone else Nancy would’ve bitten that hand clean off. She let Robin guide her back onto the path. She said nothing about the hand. It was nice. 

It was nice to be touched in such a careful way. Not careful in the sense that Robin acted as if she were something breakable, but careful in a revered way. As if Nancy was something perfect. She wasn’t sure what to do with that.

And looking over at her now - the way Robin was looking at her - knocked about all the breath left in Nancy’s chest. There was something indescribable hanging in Robin’s eyes, hidden just behind that swirl of gray blue. It crystalized. It blossomed. Nancy knew she was matching tenfold with her own. She leaned ever so slightly into Robin’s hand.

“Nance?” Robin asked. Nancy blinked. She’d never replied.

“Sorry,” Nancy said, as sheepish as a person could be. They started walking again. Nancy could’ve cried when Robin pulled her hand back to the safety of gripping her bag strap. “Sorry. I’m a little all over the place right now.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that,” Robin cut in quickly. She laughed a little as she glanced around again, eyes scanning the darkness that threatened to swallow them whole. “So am I. It’s hard not to be, in a place like this.”

“I’ll catch you next time,” Nancy promised. She swallowed desperately. She hoped she didn’t sound too off. Too abnormal. Truth be told, it was getting harder to speak without Robin’s fingers brushing against her spine. She’d gotten too used to paradise. 

Paradise, if it were possible in a place like this. Another wild call of the bats. They were getting close to the Creel house.

“I’m surprised I managed to catch you at all,” Robin said after a moment of comfortable silence. It was getting too uncomfortable to stay silent for long, with the ominous hum of throbbing life underneath their feet. “You know, me being Frankenstein’s monster and all.”

“What-oh,” Nancy laughed along. Right. The monster’s fear of fire. She playfully shoved Robin’s shoulder, too far into the motion to remember that they’d never done that before. It felt good to touch Robin anyway, even through her thick army jacket. “I guess I gotta admit to a childhood fear, right? To make it even?”

“If you want,” Robin said. She clearly meant hell yes. Nancy sighed and shook her head, startled a bit when a lone bat flew overhead. It paid no mind to them - clearly on route somewhere else. “But you don’t - I don’t wanna force you to do anything, Nance, I-”

She cut herself off and pressed her lips together resolutely. Nancy focused on the treeline but she could feel Robin’s eyes on her cheek. As if she were studying. Or appraising.

“I’m really glad we’re friends,” Robin admitted softly. “I don’t have many. You probably know that. So - I know I’m on par with a gnat buzzing around your ear but I’m really really glad we’re friends. You don’t have to take any of my stupid shit to heart.”

“Robin,” Nancy began. She was at a loss for words, though, because she finally relented and looked over at Robin. There was that crystalized feeling again, buried in her eyes. On the tip of her tongue. On the tip of Robin’s tongue, really, and - 

God damn, Nancy wanted to search for that. 

She was proud of herself for not stopping flat out at that thought and instead trudged along like nothing was wrong. Her mind was beginning to melt out of her ears. It must be the toxic gas of the Upside-Down. Must’ve been. Head trauma, maybe. Lack of sleep.

“I’m really glad we’re friends too, Robin,” Nancy replied. It sounded distant in her head. She shook out the earworms and started again, this time for real. “You’re not a gnat. You’re not annoying. You’re a good person, and I - I guess I should be thanking the Upside-Down, then. Because without it, we never would’ve met.” Nancy knocked the side of her boot into Robin’s shoe and then effectively decided to get buried alive at the earliest possible convenience. Her face flushed with red hot embarrassment. Robin took no notice.

“You really think so?” It was so light. 

“Yes,” Nancy said, and she found herself meaning it. No annoyance or anger for Robin any longer. But perhaps that would’ve been easier. It was the simpler route. Instead her stomach swirled with an altogether difference feeling, one that pooled in the bottoms of her feet. Inwardly, she sighed. Fuck me. “I used to be terrified of octopi.”

Robin was silent and then she let out a burst of crazed, shocked laughter.

“Okay, first: I’m pretty sure it’s octopuses,” Robin said, listing on her fingers. “And second: why the hell were you afraid of octopuses? Have you ever even seen one before?”

“In picture books,” Nancy defended her younger self fiercely. “And no, it’s octopi. I know it’s octopi.”

“Why would it be octopi?” Robin asked. “That’s just stupid. It’s octopuses, no doubt.”

“Yes doubt,” Nancy retorted. “I know it’s octopi. I looked it up when I was eight.”

“So that you could address them properly, should the situation arise when you meet one and die an untimely death at its eight limbs?” Robin asked, flailing out her arms in a terrible impression of an octopus. She looked so silly Nancy couldn’t help but giggle, hand over her mouth and everything.

“Hey, I didn’t make fun of you this hard for the fire thing,” Nancy protested. “And I could’ve! I could’ve pressed about the campfire story!”

“Later,” Robin promised. When she looked back over her shoulder, Nancy found herself believing it. Believing that there would be a later - perhaps many laters with Robin. A whole future of conversations like these. She didn’t think that sounded so bad.

Suddenly they were overwhelmed with light and sound. The trees broke to reveal the Creel house directly across the street, surrounded by a lightning storm and a swirling parade of bats. Nancy swallowed down all feelings. It was the eleventh hour. As they silently broke rank together to rush out towards the playground, Robin glanced behind herself one last time to make sure Nancy was following.

It’s octopi, Nancy mouthed. 

And Robin’s responding grin was worth every second spent in this hellhole.