my ESFJ sister-in-law's idea of taking time for herself is to do some group activity outside of the home, leaving my ISTJ brother with their baby

she's like: "but I encourage him to do the same, I'd love it if he went out to watch some world cup game with his friends or something, I want him to have equal me-time"

so I become an amalgamation of the therapists from the therapy shows I watch

and I explain: "girl his idea of an escape is probably to be on the playstation for 9 hours straight, that's what you can offer him, not some social chore"

but then I also add that it is his responsibility to figure out what his me-time should look like and ask for it, instead of building resentment

she said: "it's just 30 minutes on Saturday mornings, it's not much but I feel like I need this small commitment to have the discipline to work at it"

it's such a common attitude, it's the norm even

but let me be the representation that my people need: I'm the opposite, I learn everything by myself, stay consistent as long as I fly solo, and any kind of formal commitment makes me want to quit

if you are like me, you are valid babygirls!